THE 2014 LITTLE GREEN FOOTBALLS AWARDS

A Hearty Welcome to all BlogMockers, Stalkers, TwitterWarriors, Chuckleophiles, Current & Former Lizards and Esteemed Fellows of The Diary of Daedalus! Grab a brew and a big bowl of Cheetos’ cause it’s time for

The Annual LGF Awards!

Pickin’s were slim for Stupor Bowl 2014. Charles Johnson’s website Little Green Footballs has become a homogenous mix of like-minded vaporbrains, answering the right questions with the wrong answers while patting their fuzzy pockmarked behinds with congratulatory updings. This year’s Award Nominees and Poll Results turned up some surprises, so without further adieu, here are the recipients of The 2014 LGF Awards.

THE BUZZSAW

Previous winners of The Buzzsaw Award for intrepid flounce-worthy snarkage were:
2013 – Killgore Trout
2012 – Rightwing_2 aka MF Horn
2011 – No Awards. Fire in the Boiler Room
2010 – Cato “Do It Now” The Elder

2014 Buzzsaw Award

The 2014 Buzzsaw Award is hereby presented to Killgore Trout.

Killgore Trout (Recipient of the 2013 Buzzsaw Award) received a whopping 52% of the vote this time around. He’s best known for his dishonest astroturfing of right wing websites in order to gain favor with Charles Johnson, and it worked for a while. Killgore lost his crown due to LGF hive attacks (orchestrated by Iceweasel & Jimmah), his penchant for non-conformity and general contrarian positions on LGF, and especially for his unwavering support for the State of Israel.

Congrats, Killgore!

THE IRISH ROSE

Previous winners of The Irish Rose Award for salivating suckage:
2013 – Gus_802
2012 – Dark Falcon
2011 – No Awards. Fire in the Boiler Room
2010 – Dark Falcon

2014 Irish Rose Award

The 2014 Irish Rose Award is hereby presented to Stabby

The Irish Rose is not one that most recipients cherish. It acknowledges drooling unrequited love and adulation of Charles Foster Johnson and is reserved for those sycophantic little lizard lappers who remain in good standing at Little Green Footballs by stroking the Big Green Donkey Charles. Many assumed that El Gusano would win again this year, but it wasn’t in the cards for the Argentinian anti-American pro-jihad Johnson-catching Jew hater.

To his credit, Stabby had the cojones (unlike other LGF patrons like Gus_802 or Dark Falcon) to venture past the confines of The Swamp and opine at Diary of Daedalus, and therefore deserves the Award. (We’ve hosed off and disinfected Gus’ stained and encrusted throne, so shut up and have a seat.)

Congrats, Stabby!

THE JOHNSON

No one ever doubts who’s going to win The Johnson Award because there are so few 60+ year old guitarist bloggers with magical jazzy ponytails who qualify.

JOHNSON AWARDThe Johnson Award is hereby awarded to Charles Johnson.

Here’s the vote breakdown. G’head. Click it, Charles.

JOHNSON AWARD graph

Congrats, Fuckface.

THE MILYO

2013 – Robert Stacy McCain
2012 – Andrew Breitbart (awarded posthumously)

Of all the LGF Awards, this one is perhaps the most auspicious (Charles pronounces the word “ouse-picky-use”) because it involves those who smack down The Corpulent Blogger with intelligence, logic, clever wit and humor.

Nick  Searcy [@YesNickSearcy] won with 32% of the vote for his concise and effortless Twitter smackdowns of Charles [@Green_Footballs] Johnson’s kikmidog-style of ankle biting, and  demonstrated the heart, soul, snark and wit required of all recipients of This Award. Therefore

MILYO AWARDThe 2014 Milyo is hereby awarded to

Nick Searcy

Without disparaging Mr. Searcy’s entertaining and invaluable contributions, he never endured the vile barrage that Charles Johnson and his Little Green Flying Monkeys unleashed on Mandy [@Liberty_Chick] Nagy. While coping with Lupus Disease, Mandy suffered a massive stroke last fall, leaving her seriously crippled, both physically and mentally, and Charles Foster Johnson sent NO condolences.

Honorable Mention: Mandy Nagy

No #brasnapping

The New Pzm

Kudos to all who participated in This Poll, and thanks also to The Corpulent One, whose hyperbolic bloviation and juvenile attention-whoring idiocy has provided us so much inane entertainment over the years.

Charles, PLEASE keep up the stupid. Were it not for your massive ego, your unjustified backstabbing of benefactors and supporters, and your dearth of coherent logic, we wouldn’t be sitting behind you at the Matinee kicking your chair, spitting Milk Duds down your shirt collar and betting on how many wet jujubes your magical jazzy ponytail can hold before they start dropping into your plumber’s crack. Thank you, Charles.

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Purity of Essence, Mandrake

This is an update to a post I wrote a couple of years ago about the echo chamber that LGF has become.

echo chamber:

A community in which members find their own opinions constantly echoed back to them, reinforcing their individual belief systems and creating an insular communication space that is of no interest to outsiders and which rejects their input.

Charles’ insipid rating system played a key role in LGF’s ruin, and now it’s the tie that binds the hive-mind. As the chart below shows, 87% of all comments made 2014, no matter how banal, were met with congratulatory twinkles. Of course, when a heretic appears, they still pounce on it with a passive aggressive fury. But the chart also shows, as Purity of Thought has increased, fewer posts are earning downtwinkles (only 0.4% in 2014).

For every 1000 comments at LGF, 869 are praised, 4 are frowned upon.

That is an echo chamber.

2014twinkles2
Bonus Statistic

  • If the contributions of just 3 commenters are removed from the data, the mutual admiration rate climbs to 89%, and the downtwinkle rate falls to 0.2%
  • Who are these misfits?
    • Killgore Trout – 1st place *by far* in downdinged posts, 2nd in 0 karma posts
    • Dark_Falcon – 2nd place in downdinged posts, 1st in 0 karma posts
    • NJDhockeyfan or sattv4u2 – roughly tied for 3rd in both, waaaaay behind KT and Dork

Most Downdinged Post of 2014 – regarding the Wendy Davis wheelchair ad:

2014darkf

Most Updinged Post of 2014 – an incoherent non-response to Dork’s post:

flea


WOT: “Some Abuse Is Possible”

WOT Warnings: Yeah they’re good in general, but the ratings are easily astroturfed and abused the same as the “Block and Report” function is on Twitter. WOT is a free add-on for FireFox, and the false positives seem to be negligible, yet there are people who abuse the system.

People like Charles Fuckface Johnson.

WOT Astroturf Alert 1

“Some abuse is possible.” This suggests deliberate lying and intentional fabrication, and since Charles F. Johnson agreed to post it makes Charles F. Johnson a deliberate liar and fabricator as well.

So we cranked up the WOT machine to see where Little Green Footballs stood and found nothing surprising (at least not surprising to readers of this website) and there be some funny in the comments.


Charles Johnson: “I was totally cray”

Only Charles can invent words.

Cray


Charles: The defender of Islam

Once one of Islam’s harshest critics, Charles Johnson is now its biggest defender. He does a post lamenting how bad Muslims allegedly have it.

How many Muslims have been killed in America since the Charlie Hebdo attack Charles? Seriously, you will never work off that fatwa no matter how much butt kissing you do.


Dark Gets no love

I really do not understand why Dark Falcon hangs out on a blog where he is mocked and his political affiliation is viewed as evil.  In a thread about net neutrality, Dark has a massive down-ding.

Poor Dark

Dark Falcon, should just leave LGF. The fact he takes the abuse, shows how pathetic a person he is.


LGF 2014: The State of The Swamp

This third and probably final entry in the 2014 year end series looks at the overall state of LGF – the weblog covering issues dear to both conservatives and US liberals (current dmoz description).

LGF: Bringing You Thinning Content Since 2007

thin
Way back in 2010, Cato the Elder declared that the content at LGF was becoming “a bit thin”.   His LGF account survived for about 13 minutes.  Of course, he was correct.  At that time, the number of front page posts had already declined more than 50% from the 2007 peak.   His comment is even more apropos* now with the post count having declined 7 years in a row — by another 50% since he left.

*note for Charles who doesn’t read here: apropos is correctly pronounced /a-prə-ˈ/, a·pruh·poe .

2014front2

For the fourth year in a row, LGF again lowered its all-time record for fewest front page posts.

LGF: Bringing You Fewer Commenters Every Year Since 2007

2014uniques

The Swamp is becoming something of a puddle as the number of unique commenters fell for the 7th consecutive year. The breadth of the commenting community at LGF has declined by 94% from its peak in 2007.

LGF: The Conversation No One Wants To Join

1sttime

In 2014, the number of first time commenters dropped to an all-time low of 165, a mere 4% of the 4400 that joined the conversation in 2007.

LGF: Charles at the Bottom?

Thinner content, fewer commenters, fewer new commenters, but comment volume went UP for the first time since 2008. Is this the bottom of the slide?

2014y2y

Doubtful.


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