Charles Johnson – Master of Interpretational Gymnastics

China has been playing trade games and manipulating their currency for decades. Trump’s comment was well-timed and well-placed subtle sarcasm, and Charles Johnson missed it by a milyo.

Charles Johnson doesn’t understand the concept of “sarcasm” or how it works, and it doesn’t work like this:

That’s called whining.

Jeez, Charles. You’re embarrassing yourself more than usual, and “more than usual” means most of the time. Maybe you could reinvent Little Green Footballs as a news aggregation site instead of parroting memes and tropes promulgated by liars and spin doctors, instead of copy-pasting C-level comedians posing as news sources.

Just a thought, Master Ponytail.

Advertisements

Blind Squirrel Charles Johnson Fails To Find The Nut. Again.

Two Americans and five Argentinians were killed, and a dozen others injured, by a self-admitted islamic terrorist who was granted a permanent VISA under a bizarre program that has something to do with diversity, the late Ted Kennedy and Chuck Schumer. What other hidden government programs sponsor this kind of dangerous idiocy, and what does Charles Johnson think?

Charles couldn’t be bothered as he’s apparently getting all his important news analysis from people like  Stephen Colbert.

I don’t know Babs, but I do know this. Charles, you’re a mess.


Happy Columbus Day! Charles Johnson’s Magical Jazzy Ponytail rocks the internet.

LGF sycophant HappyWarrior thinks that The Natives were a volcanic island nation somewhere east of Culver City and west of St. Louis that was conquered by Mennonites in 1923 during the pre-Cambrian Period. But we’re not here to pick on ignoramuses like HappyWarrior because

OH WAIT… That’s exactly why we’re here.

Charles, define a “Native American.” Isn’t it someone like you who was born (or whelped) here?

Okay, try this. What is an “Indigenous American?” A potato? A chile? Tobacco? A hot tomato? Mountain Dew? If we limit the definition to humans, there’s still no *ahem* consensus on which group of uncivilized murderous pagan barbaric tribes showed up first. According to modern anthropology and forensics, the first humans to settle in the Americas likely didn’t come from Mongolia over the frozen Bering Strait, but from somewhere far southwest of Culver City.

Once corrected on his ignorance, Johnson attacks and dismisses the polite woman  as “pedantic.” Charles, you’re not the brightest bulb in the garlic patch. By your own definition, you’re a typical European white supremacist fascist who spent his entire life co-opting the contributions of other ethnic cultures, but at the very least you can listen to this.

Mark Levin did some simple research (that Johnson didn’t bother with) and came up with this amazing concise monologue:

Charles, PLEASE call into Levin’s radio show and display your superior Magical Jazzy Ponytail intellect to the world.

We’ll buy you a parakeet. Promise.


THIS IS TWITTER

Why?

Okay, but why?

Um. Okay. Thanks.


El Gusano’s Medical Fund

A momentary flash of lucid self-reflection. But he did just retweet one of his patrons’ tweets calling for donations to his Sterno-fund.

Gus, the Architectural exams are tough to pass for a reason (public health and safety) but the medical exams are even tougher for the same reasons. Thank God you’re not a doctor, otherwise all your patients would be like:

Good luck on your GoFundMe foray and we wish you well. We chipped in.

Q:  Did your buddy Charles Johnson pitch in?
A:  Nope.

[h/t Octo]


Notice the hand gesture.

Charles, you’re a mess.


A photo op proves Johnson is a neonazi according to Johnson, so Johnson calls Johnson a homo.

Okay, so Charles C. Johnson got a photo op with Rep. Dana Rohrabacher in London and suddenly he’s a player, pulling strings for Julian Assange as an insider. Yeah, right. Charles F. Johnson stretched it into an accusation that Charles C. Johnson is a neonazi.

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!

CCJ responded to CFJ in kind:

Everyone knows the connection between Anders Breivik and Charles F. Johnson, but he’s a homo? Sure, Foster’s got a hardon for The Redbeardo, but that doesn’t fly because PAM.

The level of stupid is nearing 11.