How to Art

A lot of things have changed in The Swamp, besides a fatter logo, new formatting flaws and floods of adware, so I put on the dumpster diving suit and decided to have a look at The New Little Green Footballs.

In years past, Diary of Daedalus could find easy fodder for new posts just by eyeballing the downdings, but those days are gone. It’s rare to find a comment with a red negative, and that means that either Charles Johnson is squelching them or  he’s finally achieved homogeneity. (For you wags who think I just called him a homo, I didn’t as far as you know.)

So here’s an offensive post that earned ONE downding:

Yeah. Downdinged for calling Kim Jong Imbecile’s reprehensible excuse for a government as “The NORKS.” I wonder who downdinged it. On the other hand, updings are up. Here’s the top one:

If you squint, it looks like a blue frog with fire coming out of its eyes. I don’t know who this innocent is, but she’s got a ways to go with artistry and composition, so I’ll try to help out. Here’s the first rule:

As for cropping, I added wider tape for the borders as requested. I don’t see a problem with what she did, but again, I’m willing to help, with virtual duct tape.

Next, let’s do something simple. Let’s put a suit and tie on it.

Now you have something to sell to the effete aficionados and it’s hella better than that screaming blue and orange garbage we started out with. Chop it down and dress it up. That’s how you art.

The first lesson is free, Charles.


Johnson Tweets And Nobody Gives A Chuck.

charles-johnsons-turbanAside from the ventilator, Charles’ portrait wasn’t photoshopped; it was merely sharpened one degree with common image enhancement shareware. Yeah, he’s off-center just like always, but the big question is: Why is Charles Johnson fascinated by this image of President Trump and why is he using it for TwitterSpam?

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Q: Do The TwitterSpam Police know about this TOS violation?
A: Probably, because they endorse and encourage it (unless your name is Milo).


LGF Stats Inspection Time

Once in a while it’s kinda fun to check on the Decline of Little Green Footballs. Remember this one from 19 February 2010?

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About a year later, on 9 February 2011, we posted this:

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The Webworth.info site is now defunct as far as we can tell, but now there’s WEBUKA. Here’s the February 2017 estimate for LGF:

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GAH! What a graphic abomination, and there’s not much we can do to fix it. On the other hand, the estimated numbers are relevant. In just six years, Charles Johnson’s website value has decreased in value by approximately 75%. So what does Alexa have to say about all this?

Since we last checked in with Alexa, it had been purchased by Amazon and a lot of the freebee stats are no longer available without a pay-to-play subscription. So what. This is all we need.

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What happened in September 2016 to drive down his rank, and why did he get a bump once Trump was inaugurated? I don’t know, Babs, but I do know this: Little Green Footballs is STILL slower to load than 2/3 of all websites tracked by Alexa. Go figger.

[Sources: This, this and this.]

SitePrice estimates the value of a blog differently, and comes up with this number:

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It also provides a graphic of the top 5 search terms that lead to Little Green Footballs:

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No real surprises in that subliminal goatse, but how does “A. J. Delgado” make it to the Top Five with only 5%? Something smells like your socks, Charles.

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The Original Little Green Footballs Logo

 


Charles Johnson buys into the hoax, doubles down and backs up an avowed Russian Marxist

Holy crap. Twitchy beat us to it.

There’s a despicable fabrication claiming that Trump Advisor Stephen Miller follows neonazis and retweets them, and Charles Johnson promotes the fraud on his own website. Never mind the fact that Johnson follows and re-tweets neonazis himself, but if someone else does it, for whatever reason, Johnson believes he has the authority to send them off to Purgatory or something.

Here’s the full screencap.
[Click on it if you’re squints aren’t so good.]

fake-news-1Okay, nobody really cares about the vapors emanating from that rambling contrived diatribe authorized and posted by Charles Johnson, and he will likely delete it once he realizes that he’s pantsed himself again, even though he updated, backed up, and doubled down. Check out the Johnson updates:

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Yep. You got it right. Johnson bought into a hoax and backed up his pet Russian Marxist. Charles, you’re a mess.

[h/t TreBob]


Charles Johnson knows all about the PRONK.

I honestly don’t know what to make of this, except that it seems to be a collection of strawmen posted by someone who got tanked by sundown. Charles Johnson’s screed is incoherent.

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Johnson seems to be flopping and flailing for attention by spitting stupid.
“Lying to the nation?”
“The whole world goes pear-shaped?”
OMG WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

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Note the plurals. Someone needs to loosen that self-imposed tourniquet on The Magical Jazzy Ponytail, because that there’s another Charles Johnson FAIL.


Charles Johnson on Inauguration Day

On 20 January, Inauguration Day, Charles Johnson was a busy guy, cranking out an average of one post per hour on his blobsite Little Green Footballs. (Click on any image below for the full-size globalosity. Bonus points if you can spot the post where Charles Johnson refers to a previous President as The Clenis. )

Johnson also provided brilliant insightful commentary throughout the day, earning well-deserved updings for these gems:

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Johnson’s last post of the day was probably the best one because it confirms what we’ve always known: that he’s a two-faced chickenshit back-stabbing plagiarizing opportunist.

It was always about the money.

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Charles, You’re a mess.


The Magical Jazzy Ponytail Got Trump Elected (according to Charles Johnson’s TwitterFans)

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Suckin’ up again, eh, Mr. Electrolux? We ain’t buying it, and some of your Twitter fans aren’t either, for obvious reasons.

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That Twitter thread screencap (cropped for brevity) had a lot of spinoffs and buried sidesnark, including this one:

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It’s amusing to note how many folks still remember Charles Johnson.
A common online response is, “Wow. I’d forgotten about him. That asshole’s still around?” Yeah, Charles, you got cred. Even Oliver Willis wasn’t blind enough to buy your transparent and opportunistic line of crap.

Charles, you’re a two-faced disingenuous ignorant mess.