Charles Johnson’s Magical Jazzy Afro

Prior to sporting his infamous Magical Jazzy Ponytail, Charles Johnson sported a Magical Jazzy Afro in order to blend in with the Stanley Clarke / George Duke jazz fusion band. It didn’t fool anyone. Besides that, Clarke and Duke were both talented and should have been embarrassed playing this mindless noodling garbage in the first place.

Maybe that’s why they hired Charles…

Advertisements

Charles Johnson knows all about the PRONK.

I honestly don’t know what to make of this, except that it seems to be a collection of strawmen posted by someone who got tanked by sundown. Charles Johnson’s screed is incoherent.

170212-charles-tweets

Johnson seems to be flopping and flailing for attention by spitting stupid.
“Lying to the nation?”
“The whole world goes pear-shaped?”
OMG WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

nkorea-missle-tests

Note the plurals. Someone needs to loosen that self-imposed tourniquet on The Magical Jazzy Ponytail, because that there’s another Charles Johnson FAIL.


Charles Johnson’s Magical Jazzy Science Fail

global-wtf-charles-johnson-1

Whoa. That’s some heavy-duty non-scientific speculation there, Charles. Anthropogenic Global Warming and subsequent catastrophe will be triggered by a political party in the U.S.? The GOP has that power? Awesome.

Charles, if all the icebergs and sea ice melted, sea levels would remain the same due to displacement, so they don’t count. Since water freezes and melts at 32 degrees Foster, polar temps would need to exceed that point and stay there for thousands of years before enough land ice runoff trickled into the oceans and put Culver City under water. If that happens, most habitable regions of the globe will turn into Papa John’s Pizza ovens with no delivery available… hundreds of years from now. Maybe.

Kind of a long shot there, Charles, since Mr. Sun appears to be in a cooling phase, and he’s the one truly responsible for global climate change, along with the GOP.

But there’s another factor involved. Plate tectonics cause land masses to rise, sink, bend, warp, bulge, tilt and shift. Magma is plastic and has nothing to do with AGW, yet it contributes to the rise and fall of sea levels. Another cause of flooding is coastal erosion, much like what we’re witnessing in real time in Charles Johnson’s brain function. Others have noted the erosion as well:

[BREAKING NEWS: CANADA AND MEXICO ARE GOING TO BE UNDERWATER AFTER TRUMP’S INAUGURATION. FILM AT NEVER.]

And so it goes. Charles, you’re a mess.

[h/t @coopernumpy]

 


Charles Johnson, Basket Case

CJ on Bergdahl AWOL

Johnson is on the cutting edge here.

News media has interviewed those who served with Bergdahl, verified that he left his post, verified that he had no translator with him, verified that he had disagreements with his superiors in the US Military, verified that a search ensued for the missing man, verified that other US Military outposts in the region were put on notice to conduct searches, verified that several men in the search and rescue team were killed, verified that those five released from Guantanamo Bay were high-level Taliban terrorist operatives, verified that they would be supposedly prevented from traveling out of Qatar for about a year, and verified that Bergdahl’s father is an anti-American asshole.

Charles, have you been living under a rock?

CJ under-a-rock1

Given that you’re a ponytailed 61 year-old fat white guy with a 12th Grade education, which of the reports by CNN, WashPo, ABC,  FOX,  Rolling Stone and others are incorrect, Charles? Are you betting on a 100 to 1 swaybacked nag hoping to nail a perfecta for LGF, or are you pretending to be a contrarian in order to cosy up to the Kos Kids and the MediaMatters morons?

Charles, you’re a mess.


NAZIS! [Updated]

Hoft Tea Party 1

Only behind the fevered forehead of Charles Johnson (nestled in the damp darkness somewhere between his blank black bead-button eyes and his Magical Jazzy Ponytail scrunchie) could this photo be construed as a Pro Nazi Rally, but that’s precisely what he claimed while trying to smear Jim Hoft of Gateway Pundit.  What exactly is Hoft guilty of? Pulling a Breitbart.

Hoft responded to false accusations by the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee (DSCC) that Tea Partiers are a bunch of neo-nazis by offering a reward for proof. Jazzy went scooters.

Hoft Tea Party 2

Okay. So radical grampas and grammas and mommies and daddies are neonazis for wanting to prevent the IRS from becoming a US version of Germany’s SS.  Got it.  So what was Hoft’s “Monumental Fail” that Mr.#Rumpswab refers to? An honest clarification of obvious intent, caught by a Wonkette reader. Original version:
Hoft Wonkette 1
Revised version:
Hoft Wonkette 2

Hunh. That’s a “Monumental Fail” according to someone who is notorious for editing and deleting his own words and those of other years after they were posted on LGF,  who claimed he had nothing to do with nicknaming Rachel Corrie “St. Pancake”, who couldn’t identify the State Flags of either Tennessee or Ohio, who can’t tell the difference between a menu board and a laptop, who lied about Brevik’s Manifesto, who honestly claimed Anthony Weiner’s PeniePix as his own, who claimed George Zimmerman wasn’t injured by Trayvon Martin, who supports planting racist comments on rival blogs, who doesn’t know the definition of the word “bogus” or how to pronounce the word “milieu” and who’s been reduced to licking the fetid rump-pus-infections of a blogger known as Wonkette for liberal street cred.

Chuck, you’re a mess.

pants-on-fire
_________________________________________________________________
Update:  The inane attack on Hoft continues. Here’s the pertinent part of the DSCC Request For Donations:

DSCC Tea Party Nazis 2

The unspoken insinuation is undeniably clear:
The Tea Party is a radical group comprised of neo-nazis.

Jim Hoft’s offer of a reward was poorly worded, but his intent was also undeniably clear:
Prove that the Tea Party supports National Socialism or STFU.
_________________________________________________________________
[Update: Added “St. Pancake” to the list of lies, h/t Swamprat.]