How to Art

A lot of things have changed in The Swamp, besides a fatter logo, new formatting flaws and floods of adware, so I put on the dumpster diving suit and decided to have a look at The New Little Green Footballs.

In years past, Diary of Daedalus could find easy fodder for new posts just by eyeballing the downdings, but those days are gone. It’s rare to find a comment with a red negative, and that means that either Charles Johnson is squelching them or  he’s finally achieved homogeneity. (For you wags who think I just called him a homo, I didn’t as far as you know.)

So here’s an offensive post that earned ONE downding:

Yeah. Downdinged for calling Kim Jong Imbecile’s reprehensible excuse for a government as “The NORKS.” I wonder who downdinged it. On the other hand, updings are up. Here’s the top one:

If you squint, it looks like a blue frog with fire coming out of its eyes. I don’t know who this innocent is, but she’s got a ways to go with artistry and composition, so I’ll try to help out. Here’s the first rule:

As for cropping, I added wider tape for the borders as requested. I don’t see a problem with what she did, but again, I’m willing to help, with virtual duct tape.

Next, let’s do something simple. Let’s put a suit and tie on it.

Now you have something to sell to the effete aficionados and it’s hella better than that screaming blue and orange garbage we started out with. Chop it down and dress it up. That’s how you art.

The first lesson is free, Charles.