Correction. It’s worse than he thought.

Recently we posted a graphic from web ranking site Alexa that shows Charles Johnson’s Little Green Footballs in steady and predictable decline. Today we realized that Alexa’s graph was a bit skewed for unknown reasons.

There is some oddness in that graph that we didn’t spot until today. The rows are not equal. They should be the the same between
<50k – 100k
<100k – 150k
<150k – 200k
<200k – 250k
but they’re not. Maybe it softens the blow to Johnson’s ego, but it’s not accurate. Here’s what we posted:

Here’s the same Alexa graph with the rows adjusted:

Don’t see it yet? How about a throbbing Alexa Graph?


What does this mean? It means that Charles Johnson’s Little Green Footballs is tanking faster than even Alexa is willing to admit.

Rock on, Charles. We love ya, man.


The Decline is in full tilt mode.

Charles Johnson’s Little Green Footballs got a spike in popularity a few months ago for unknown reasons, but it was short-lived. Might have been an echo from the POTUS inauguration, but that was then and this is this.

What happened after the spike in traffic in late January, and the crash of late May? Was it a self-promotion gimmick that kept it level for three months? I suppose it doesn’t matter, because Charles Johnson’s Little Green Footballs is still on the predictable trajectory despite the graphic plateau. LGF fell off the mesa and is heading for The Mojave.

Last time we checked, LGF had a global rank of 168,689 and a US rank of 50,248. Rock on, Charles. You’re awesome.


Charles Johnson’s 2011 Independence Day Salmon Barbecue

Took a quick wade through The Swamp this afternoon, and there’s no “traditional July 4th open thread,” so let’s set The WayBack Machine to the Year of Our Lord 2011 and see what Our Hero was talking about.

Who’s up for some BBQ?

Marinate it overnight, then slather it in Barbie Sauce and throw it on the grill.  Better yet, get someone else to cook it up for you, Charles, because you don’t barbecue fish.

Read the rest of this entry »


Charles Johnson: Unhinged


Whoa. That’s Johnson’s famous Rusty Hinge photo. The dude is an artistic savant.

We’ve seen his amazing photography before and this was one of the best of his banal and uninteresting collection. I rotated it to see if it might be more interesting, and when I did, I noticed that it’s missing some things – like fasteners, a hasp, and it’s not located on the wooden gate hinge point. That piece of hardware does nothing, and it hasn’t for years according to the rust stains because it’s been laying flat on someone’s porch deck for a while.

On the other hand, if you squint, it looks just like Charles Johnson’s brain.

[h/t rightymouse]


Greatest @Green_Footballs Tweet of 2011

[This post by the legendary ChenZhen has been sitting silent in the bottom of the DoD drafts folder for years for unknown reasons, but since it’s the 6th Anniversary of Charles Johnson’s Johnson TwitterFail, we might as well turn it loose. –Briareus]

In light of Johnson’s recent, um, friskiness in the Twitterverse, and the fact that we kinda skipped the DoD awards ceremony this year, I’m going to go ahead and declare what would have been the winner anyway.

To be fair (not that we need to be), the tweet came during Johnson’s hilariously desperate attempts to defend and excuse Rep. Weiner while he was dealing with the bombshell that Breitbart delivered (in retrospect, perhaps we can assume that the fact that it was AB played a factor in the intensity of CJ’s efforts).

Frustrated, and convinced that he was fighting the good fight, he even added the trending hashtag to ensure that as many netizens outside his swamp saw this as possible:


Let’s talk about peckerwoods.

On Mothers’ Day, Charles Johnson posted nothing in tribute to his deceased mother (or anyone elses’ mother for that matter). It’s no surprise as he’s never been gracious or warm to his feminine benefactors for reasons only known to himself, so let’s see what he allowed on his Little Green Footblog yesterday. Didn’t take long to find this:

Yeah. That’s awesome. An LGF aficionado claims street cred for someone he never met, his parents never met, and who fucked up big time during the War Between The States. Look up Brigadier-General Peter F. Bacon for yourselves. He got pantsed. He lived to tell about it, died in 1900, but so what.

Charles Johnson and his flying monkeys have no concept of history or historical context. Now update your gravitar image, Charles, so we don’t confuse you with Maxine Waters.

[Update: The obituary and grave marker for Brigadier General Peter F. Bacon can be found here (h/t  rightymouse).]


Johnson’s Trigger Monkey Post of the Day – FBI Director James Comey is Dismissed

That’s the headline on Little Green Footballs, and as expected, Charles Johnson completely misrepresents the story. Here’s the letter of dismissal President Trump sent to FBI Director James Comey today.


Johnson’s response to this was obviously fed to him by others hoping for an LGF trigger monkey post, as the MSM also seems to be focusing on the second paragraph while ignoring the first.

“Trump’s pink slip to Comey says ‘I am not under investigation’ — which is totally false.”

– Charles Johnson 9 May 2017

and

“Here’s some more jaw-dropping information: they’re trying to claim Comey was fired over his handling of the Hillary Clinton email investigation. I seriously doubt that.”

– Charles Johnson 9 May 2017

Johnson linked to a twitter account that posted barely legible letters (from Attorney General Sessions and Deputy Attorney General Rosenstein) that Trump referenced in his decision to replace James Comey.

Rosenstein’s analysis is damning, as it names names of those who believe that Comey was way out of line and breached protocol, including former Attorney General Eric Holder.

It’s not a partisan attack, Charles, it’s an attack on Comey’s apparent disregard for law, ethics and protocol due to political bias. Here’s a six-page downloadable .pdf that Johnson (and many others) didn’t bother to read [via]:

Letters-on-FBI-Director-James-B-Comey

Charles, you’ve turned your website into inane clickbait bullshit. Now update your avatar.