Halloween 2017. It’s not too late.

Print it out full size, cut it out, wrap it around your face and be Charles Johnson 2007 for Halloween. Go trick-or-treating while muttering “…Pam…Pam…Pam…” No one will get it but you and Charles. Bonus points for sporting a magical jazzy ponytail.

Do it.

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On 21 October 2016, The US Government Declared Little Green Footballs DEAD.

A short history is in order. By 2007, Charles Johnson was already preparing for his infamous hairpin turn to the left, and the signs were there. Some spotted the clues, others didn’t. For those who did and mentioned it, Johnson threatened his LGF members/critics with the phrase:

“If you don’t like it, start your own website.”

Many in the gated community called Little Green Footballs recognized what was coming down and decided to take the suggestion. LGF 2.0 made its debut in 2007.

Current and former “lizards” showed up at this experimental site, and it became popular for those who would rather post and discuss current events without Johnson’s ban stick hanging over their heads, without interference and dogpile tactics, his threats of censorship, and without his manipulation/editing of commenters’ posts.

Johnsons’ reaction was typical. He referred to this new website as “The Stalkers” and often claimed that the site was infested with viruses (with no evidence at all – it was a WordPress site) in order to discourage his followers from reading criticism.  LGF 2.0 operated in similar fashion to LGF, but without the squelch, and posters enjoyed mocking Charles Johnson from beyond his reach. This inflamed the vindictive blogger, and Johnson made a move that was noticed by LGF 2.0:  he filed for trademark protection with the U.S. Patent & Trademark Office, presumably to protect his “brand” and to shut down his critics on LGF 2.0.

During the process, Johnson probably learned that you can’t trademark initials, but several hundred dollars and approximately eight months later, he was granted a trademark for the name “Little Green Footballs.”

Meanwhile, he’d flashed his cards enough times that LGF 2.0 morphed into The Blogmocracy.

So what’s the point of all this? Aside from the USPTO, two people knew about this. One was Charles Johnson. The other?  Internet Septic Tank Engineer, aka BRC Engineer No. 1.

On 21 October 2016, the U.S. Patent & Trademark Office declared Little Green Footballs DEAD.


Here’s a blow up of the screen cap with little red boxes added for emphasis.


[Source]

What’s coming next? I don’t know, Babs, but I do know this. Charles Johnson needs to pony up some more clams before someone in Pyongyang scoops up Little Green Footballs and starts charging him royalty fees.

Or he can wait and see…


Charles Johnson’s Little Green Footballs Continues On Its Predestined & Predictable Trajectory.

Dateline 15 October 2017. From Alexa we get this nice graph:



Not sure why LGF gets traffic from Sweden. Perhaps some are keeping tabs on him after his documented influence on Anders Breivik and Norway’s Oslo Massacre.

Now let’s look at that Alexa traffic graph. It’s certainly bad news for Little Green Footballs, but assuming the graph is accurate, the reality is even worse. Note that the y-axis bars are not evenly spaced. Without the actual statistics, we can graphically re-space the y-axis, keep the x-axis untouched and get closer to the truth of the decline:

The buttcrack on the far right of the x-axis represents 1 October 2017. The blue line gets fuzzy vertically because it needed stretch pants, and in a week or so we’re going to see if Charles Johnson remembers something he forgot.


Happy Columbus Day! Charles Johnson’s Magical Jazzy Ponytail rocks the internet.

LGF sycophant HappyWarrior thinks that The Natives were a volcanic island nation somewhere east of Culver City and west of St. Louis that was conquered by Mennonites in 1923 during the pre-Cambrian Period. But we’re not here to pick on ignoramuses like HappyWarrior because

OH WAIT… That’s exactly why we’re here.

Charles, define a “Native American.” Isn’t it someone like you who was born (or whelped) here?

Okay, try this. What is an “Indigenous American?” A potato? A chile? Tobacco? A hot tomato? Mountain Dew? If we limit the definition to humans, there’s still no *ahem* consensus on which group of uncivilized murderous pagan barbaric tribes showed up first. According to modern anthropology and forensics, the first humans to settle in the Americas likely didn’t come from Mongolia over the frozen Bering Strait, but from somewhere far southwest of Culver City.

Once corrected on his ignorance, Johnson attacks and dismisses the polite woman  as “pedantic.” Charles, you’re not the brightest bulb in the garlic patch. By your own definition, you’re a typical European white supremacist fascist who spent his entire life co-opting the contributions of other ethnic cultures, but at the very least you can listen to this.

Mark Levin did some simple research (that Johnson didn’t bother with) and came up with this amazing concise monologue:

Charles, PLEASE call into Levin’s radio show and display your superior Magical Jazzy Ponytail intellect to the world.

We’ll buy you a parakeet. Promise.


A Little Green Footballs Timelapse 2000-2017

Ride the decline.


Charles. This is kind of bizarre even for you.

I don’t know why I find this funny, perhaps because it’s another one of Charles Johnson’s inane cut-n-paste jobs of articles and documents that he didn’t bother reading or couldn’t comprehend. Maybe we should do it Mark Levin style:

“CUT ONE. GO.”


“OKAY STOP. Holy crap. Who thought one of the biggest energy plants in the world, Plant Scherer, might produce carbon dioxide, the stuff that plants breathe? It’s coal-fired. Cheap energy. SO WHAT? They have scrubbers, and the clouds you see coming out of the reactors are steam. Water vapor. CO2 doesn’t even come close to doing the climate change dance that water vapor does, and the oceans are pros at it. The oceans beat out the jungles (I mean the rain forests) for methane generation, and there’s not a damn thing we can do about it.

“Guess where the coal comes from to run Plant Scherer? Wyoming! Why it’s not coming from Appalachia I don’t know. Has to do with economics. Okay, Go on…”


I can’t do Levin like Levin, but here’s what’s got Charles and others all squeevy. A draft of an unfinished report was leaked today entitled

U.S. GLOBAL CHANGE RESEARCH PROGRAM CLIMATE SCIENCE SPECIAL REPORT (CSSR)

and every blogger (including Charles Foster Johnson) who linked to it, apparently read it, checked out the the footnotes and quoted sources, and vetted it in under 10 hours. ALL 549 PAGES OF IT.

Nazi Germany named this process PapierKrieg.

P.S. Here are the direct links that Charles proffered:

www.nytimes.com/2017/08/07/climate/climate-change-drastic-warming-trump.
Lisa Friedman is a one-note nutcase with mental myopia and a small weight problem.
https://assets.documentcloud.org/documents/3914641/Draft-of-the-Climate-Science-Special-Report.pdf
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Global_Change_Research_Act_of_1990
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2017/aug/07/usda-climate-change-language-censorship-emails

Rip it up, me bloogs.


If Charles Johnson Was Tippi Hedron

[Image found in The Swamp.]