No More Dates For Charles?

Okay, so we noticed that Little Green Footballs’ popularity DOUBLED in a mere 90 days according to Alexa Blog Stats. Yeah, that’s not unusual, considering that LGF has been in a death spiral for a decade or so. No, not unusual at all.

Perhaps somebody’s been messing with the hit counter again, eh, Charles?

To be fair, maybe the statistical goose is due to Johnson’s coverage of the “INQUISITION” that began Tuesday,13 November and continued on Friday,15 November 2019, and that everyone in the world wanted to get Charles Johnson’s insightful opinion. Yeah, sure they did.

We also noticed that the LGF posts no longer have dates, i.e., the day and month of the posting. Instead, the posts are listed as “1 day ago,” “2 days ago,” “456 days ago,”etc.

Why would Charles Johnson do that? Pheew.


Has Little Green Footballs’ Traffic Bottomed Out? (I dunno, Babs, but I do know this.)

Last time we checked (19 May 2019) Little Green Footballs was in adjustment mode after an inexplicable spike followed by a sharp decline in traffic. The Alexa graph seems to suggest that Charles’ drop in popularity has subsided somewhat, and now he’s gliding (instead of plummeting) downhill. Little Green Footblobs is at the lowest ranking since July 2018, and for comparison, LGF was within the 80,000 range in July 2014:


“Gee, Barry! Howdja screw that up?!”


BTW, longtime LGF Lizard-Lapper Alouette aka @ViciousBabushka is on Day 16 in #TwitterGulag. If anyone has a screen cap of her offending Tweet, please forward it. Inquiring minds want to know.


UPDATE! WITHIN JUST HOURS OF THIS POSTING, ALEXA UPDATED THE LGF RANKING! HERE ARE THE CURRENT STATS:


“It’s possible for me to go many months at a time without remembering that Charles Johnson still exists.” – R.S. McCain

Heh.

Stupid Is as Stupid Does

Also, when was the last time a woman — any woman, amateur or professional — had sex with Charles Johnson? He has never reproduced, and he’s now 66 years old, so it looks like he’s a Darwinian dead end. Reproductive failure is common among liberals, because #science or something. -R.S. McCain

Yeah, Charles Johnson is still the festering pimple on the butt of the internet, but the size of the pustule has diminished significantly. Verify it for yourselves.

Meanwhile, here’s a visual summary of all of Charles Johnson’s tweets since 04 November 2015:


Wow. Charles got a little green spike. BFD.

Not sure what gave LGF that killer comeback in early July, but it certainly wasn’t due to his Keith Jarret SpamTweets. Maybe it was a salmon-thawing recipe.

All Charles Johnson needs to do to drive traffic to Little Green Footballs is to post an unenhanced current selfie. Yeah, it’d be a temporary bump, but think of all the revenue he’d get from the Culver City Plus-Size Singles Club adverts.


LGF is on the rebound. Or not.

Last time we checked Alexa Stats, things were not looking good for Little Green Footballs but something happened in mid-March, and it appeared that Charles Johnson was on the road to a comeback. Unfortunately, that comeback was short-lived, and by late April he was back on track. LGF bumped and slumped again.

Still not sure why Alexa skews the x-axis, but check this out.

Alexa says, “Not enough traffic data,” but 2% of LGF traffic came from searches for “Ivanka Trump Panama” and Dana Loesch‘s husband.” Creep city.

As Charles Johnson’s Little Green Footballs declines, so does this website. So where do we go from here? Leave your suggestions and we’ll have a vote.


There is Bad Craziness.

Classic panel from Bite Me Comics (and we still don’t know who that brilliant snarker was) but check this out.

Charles Johnson’s Little Green Footballs Alexa ranking is falling faster than [-fill in the blank-].

After all our help? This blog has provided more traffic to Little Green Footballs than Rosie O’Donnell has done to promote feminism, or something like that. You get the idea. We link to LGF, Rosie doesn’t, and Charles  Johnson has a Mossberg.

Ride the Decline, Charles, and check out the rat brain death graph. Compare the similarities and come to your own confusions.

[Sources here and here.]


Charles Johnson’s Little Green Footballs Continues On Its Predestined & Predictable Trajectory.

Dateline 15 October 2017. From Alexa we get this nice graph:



Not sure why LGF gets traffic from Sweden. Perhaps some are keeping tabs on him after his documented influence on Anders Breivik and Norway’s Oslo Massacre.

Now let’s look at that Alexa traffic graph. It’s certainly bad news for Little Green Footballs, but assuming the graph is accurate, the reality is even worse. Note that the y-axis bars are not evenly spaced. Without the actual statistics, we can graphically re-space the y-axis, keep the x-axis untouched and get closer to the truth of the decline:

The buttcrack on the far right of the x-axis represents 1 October 2017. The blue line gets fuzzy vertically because it needed stretch pants, and in a week or so we’re going to see if Charles Johnson remembers something he forgot.