Charles Johnson’s Mad Photoshop Skillz

Charles Johnson went on a rant last Thursday about the Trumps’ visit to Houston. Apparently POTUS & FLOTUS didn’t wade through the flooded streets, therefore he lied about visiting the destruction of Hurricane Harvey, even though he and his wife viewed it from the air. Johnson posted it on LGF and on Twitter at 11:59AM.

Five and half hours later, he reposted the Tweet, but something changed:

Johnson turned Melania into a wet t-shirt contest contestant with a cheap image effect and updated his bog post at 5:24PM. Who knows why.

A Throbbing Tweet™ is in order:

[h/t ISTE.]

 

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Military Strategist Charles Johnson Opines on Afghanistan Strategy: Let’s Get Out and Let the REAL Bloodshed Begin.

One upding on teh ignancy. Cool.

Charles F. Johnson is now a self-proclaimed military strategist who is regularly included in convo with the CIC and the JCS and apparently believes that the US Military takes high-school grads and ships them to killing fields in the outskirts of Kabul. Never mind that Johnson can’t locate Kabul on a map and believes that Afghanistan is one great poppy field that leads to the Emerald City in the Land of Oz, complete with flying monkeys and a little green witch who sold coffee in the 70s.

Charles. This is about exterminating Islamo-Facists who want to kill you, us and others, and to do it as far away from Culver City California as possible. (If you don’t believe it, see how long your Magical Jazzy Ponytail lasts in Ryahdh.)

Meanwhile, Charles Johnson threw this unedited comment down the Memory Hole a long while ago under this awesome graphic header:

00001845 01580 2 charles Wed, Nov 7, 2001 4:59:27am

John,

It’s a bit more complicated than that. For all practical purposes, Bin Laden is the Taliban; he financed their government to the tune of $100 million, and used their country as a training ground for terrorist attacks. It’s a very clear example of a nation that supports and harbors terrorists.

And McElvoy makes this point as well:

Action against Afghanistan is a necessary pre-condition of a wider campaign against terrorism.

“Action against Afghanistan is a necessary pre-condition of a wider campaign against terrorism.” – Charles F. Johnson 7 November 2001

Yep. There’s the nut.


Correction. It’s worse than he thought.

Recently we posted a graphic from web ranking site Alexa that shows Charles Johnson’s Little Green Footballs in steady and predictable decline. Today we realized that Alexa’s graph was a bit skewed for unknown reasons.

There is some oddness in that graph that we didn’t spot until today. The rows are not equal. They should be the the same between
<50k – 100k
<100k – 150k
<150k – 200k
<200k – 250k
but they’re not. Maybe it softens the blow to Johnson’s ego, but it’s not accurate. Here’s what we posted:

Here’s the same Alexa graph with the rows adjusted:

Don’t see it yet? How about a throbbing Alexa Graph?


What does this mean? It means that Charles Johnson’s Little Green Footballs is tanking faster than even Alexa is willing to admit.

Rock on, Charles. We love ya, man.


On 15 April 2001 Charles Johnson claimed to be a victim of Islamic Extremism and he lived to tell about it.

[Link]

Off by only a month, Charles Johnson claimed credit for spotting local jihadists. He knew what was coming down because his followers told him so, and Johnson always takes the credit for the work of others.

Johnson’s anecdote precedes the horrors of 911 by five months, yet his antennae were already twitching. At the time of the post, Little Green Footballs had little to do with politics (let alone islamic jihad) and a lot to do with bicycling and low-end computer programming. Back then, few people knew or cared who he was, kinda like now.

On the other hand, Charles Johnson has been shown to manipulate and edit his posts after-the-fact, so it’s possible that he changed the posting date to make it appear he was prescient. I don’t think that’s the case here – He was spooked by the event.  Johnson was 48 years old at time of posting, old enough to figure it out.
_______________________________________

The screencap is not the product of The Official BRC Nil Stooge Template, it’s what the LGF cached post looks like today, with the new FatBody LGF Logo, Twitter links, and an appropriately round, decade-old image of Charles Foster Johnson.


Greatest @Green_Footballs Tweet of 2011

[This post by the legendary ChenZhen has been sitting silent in the bottom of the DoD drafts folder for years for unknown reasons, but since it’s the 6th Anniversary of Charles Johnson’s Johnson TwitterFail, we might as well turn it loose. –Briareus]

In light of Johnson’s recent, um, friskiness in the Twitterverse, and the fact that we kinda skipped the DoD awards ceremony this year, I’m going to go ahead and declare what would have been the winner anyway.

To be fair (not that we need to be), the tweet came during Johnson’s hilariously desperate attempts to defend and excuse Rep. Weiner while he was dealing with the bombshell that Breitbart delivered (in retrospect, perhaps we can assume that the fact that it was AB played a factor in the intensity of CJ’s efforts).

Frustrated, and convinced that he was fighting the good fight, he even added the trending hashtag to ensure that as many netizens outside his swamp saw this as possible:


What’s Important to Charles F. Johnson on Memorial Day 2017?

Even in 2003, way before Little Green Footballs was on anyone’s radar, Charles Johnson was paranoid and couldn’t trust his own few commenters to police themselves on a Memorial Day weekend, so he shut off comments on LGF for four days.

Not sure what “Deathberg” warned him about, as the comments have been blocked from public view. Five years later, Charles posted this:

That was Charles Johnson in 2008, and a Memorial Day post is good enough for me. Then I found this in the BRCCJ Comments Archive:

So I Googled it.

And I found this. The following day, Charles Johnson posted a bitchrant that Google didn’t properly acknowledge Memorial Day in their logo.

So what’s the point of all this?
Charles Johnson’s 2017 Memorial Day Post.

Turns out the guy hated muslim infiltration and was a Bernie Sanders supporter, and the POTUS didn’t say enough himself, at least according to Charles Johnson.

Charles, your spittle is dribbling down your chins.


Alexa Talks About Little Green Footballs

Once in a while it’s kinda fun to see how Charles Johnson’s Little Green Footballs stats are doing, and Alexa turned up an interesting aberration in the decline.


The image above has been chopped and channeled and lowered and louvered for clarity (and a little bit of ventilation) but the graphs and data from Alexa are sound and legit as of 1 May 2017.

What happened in January likely had to do with the Presidential Inauguration, as a lot of people (including me) wanted to watch Charles Johnson’s meltdown, but the views should have dropped off shortly after. Then there’s that bizarre spike mid-February, and it took until late April for the LGF Decline to resume. Johnson has fudged his view stats in the past, so perhaps he got caught at it again and was busted by an extraneous algorithm. Search engines don’t give him much traffic as he’s got little original content and he’s got most bot crawlers blocked. Not only that, but LGF hasn’t been a “news aggregator site” for years, because these days it’s all about “clickbait.” Here’s the kicker:

95 percent of all websites load faster than Johnson’s Little Green Footballs.

Nice work, Charles.