I took a stroll over to The Mothership this afternoon and found that she was down for unknown reasons. Thinking that my FireFox bookmarks might be corrupted due to the recent upgrade, I googled The Blogmocracy and clicked that link. No dice.
Instead I found an amusing blast from the past by Robert Stacy McCain in 2012. Down in the comments, “Jacobus” posted a link to this:
The last phrase in that self-description says a lot.
So 33-year-old Magical Jazzy played with Chicago in 1986? News to me, so I searched the BRC Archives. He never once mentioned the band, and he’s not listed anywhere in their lineups. Go figger.
A short history is in order. By 2007, Charles Johnson was already preparing for his infamous hairpin turn to the left, and the signs were there. Some spotted the clues, others didn’t. For those who did and mentioned it, Johnson threatened his LGF members/critics with the phrase:
“If you don’t like it, start your own website.”
Many in the gated community called Little Green Footballs recognized what was coming down and decided to take the suggestion. LGF 2.0 made its debut in 2007.
Current and former “lizards” showed up at this experimental site, and it became popular for those who would rather post and discuss current events without Johnson’s ban stick hanging over their heads, without interference and dogpile tactics, his threats of censorship, and without his manipulation/editing of commenters’ posts.
Johnsons’ reaction was typical. He referred to this new website as “The Stalkers” and often claimed that the site was infested with viruses (with no evidence at all – it was a WordPress site) in order to discourage his followers from reading criticism. LGF 2.0 operated in similar fashion to LGF, but without the squelch, and posters enjoyed mocking Charles Johnson from beyond his reach. This inflamed the vindictive blogger, and Johnson made a move that was noticed by LGF 2.0: he filed for trademark protection with the U.S. Patent & Trademark Office, presumably to protect his “brand” and to shut down his critics on LGF 2.0.
During the process, Johnson probably learned that you can’t trademark initials, but several hundred dollars and approximately eight months later, he was granted a trademark for the name “Little Green Footballs.”
Meanwhile, he’d flashed his cards enough times that LGF 2.0 morphed into The Blogmocracy.
So what’s the point of all this? Aside from the USPTO, two people knew about this. One was Charles Johnson. The other? Internet Septic Tank Engineer, aka BRC Engineer No. 1.
On 21 October 2016, the U.S. Patent & Trademark Office declared Little Green Footballs DEAD.
Here’s a blow up of the screen cap with little red boxes added for emphasis.
What’s coming next? I don’t know, Babs, but I do know this. Charles Johnson needs to pony up some more clams before someone in Pyongyang scoops up Little Green Footballs and starts charging him royalty fees.
Or he can wait and see…
Charles Johnson went on a rant last Thursday about the Trumps’ visit to Houston. Apparently POTUS & FLOTUS didn’t wade through the flooded streets, therefore he lied about visiting the destruction of Hurricane Harvey, even though he and his wife viewed it from the air. Johnson posted it on LGF and on Twitter at 11:59AM.
Five and half hours later, he reposted the Tweet, but something changed:
Johnson turned Melania into a wet t-shirt contest contestant with a cheap image effect and updated his bog post at 5:24PM. Who knows why.
A Throbbing Tweet™ is in order:
Military Strategist Charles Johnson Opines on Afghanistan Strategy: Let’s Get Out and Let the REAL Bloodshed Begin.Posted: August 24, 2017
One upding on teh ignancy. Cool.
Charles F. Johnson is now a self-proclaimed military strategist who is regularly included in convo with the CIC and the JCS and apparently believes that the US Military takes high-school grads and ships them to killing fields in the outskirts of Kabul. Never mind that Johnson can’t locate Kabul on a map and believes that Afghanistan is one great poppy field that leads to the Emerald City in the Land of Oz, complete with flying monkeys and a little green witch who sold coffee in the 70s.
Charles. This is about exterminating Islamo-Facists who want to kill you, us and others, and to do it as far away from Culver City California as possible. (If you don’t believe it, see how long your Magical Jazzy Ponytail lasts in Ryahdh.)
Meanwhile, Charles Johnson threw this unedited comment down the Memory Hole a long while ago under this awesome graphic header:
00001845 01580 2 charles Wed, Nov 7, 2001 4:59:27am
It’s a bit more complicated than that. For all practical purposes, Bin Laden is the Taliban; he financed their government to the tune of $100 million, and used their country as a training ground for terrorist attacks. It’s a very clear example of a nation that supports and harbors terrorists.
And McElvoy makes this point as well:
Action against Afghanistan is a necessary pre-condition of a wider campaign against terrorism.
“Action against Afghanistan is a necessary pre-condition of a wider campaign against terrorism.” – Charles F. Johnson 7 November 2001
Yep. There’s the nut.
Recently we posted a graphic from web ranking site Alexa that shows Charles Johnson’s Little Green Footballs in steady and predictable decline. Today we realized that Alexa’s graph was a bit skewed for unknown reasons.
There is some oddness in that graph that we didn’t spot until today. The rows are not equal. They should be the the same between
<50k – 100k
<100k – 150k
<150k – 200k
<200k – 250k
but they’re not. Maybe it softens the blow to Johnson’s ego, but it’s not accurate. Here’s what we posted:
Here’s the same Alexa graph with the rows adjusted:
Don’t see it yet? How about a throbbing Alexa Graph?
What does this mean? It means that Charles Johnson’s Little Green Footballs is tanking faster than even Alexa is willing to admit.
Rock on, Charles. We love ya, man.
On 15 April 2001 Charles Johnson claimed to be a victim of Islamic Extremism and he lived to tell about it.Posted: June 20, 2017
Off by only a month, Charles Johnson claimed credit for spotting local jihadists. He knew what was coming down because his followers told him so, and Johnson always takes the credit for the work of others.
Johnson’s anecdote precedes the horrors of 911 by five months, yet his antennae were already twitching. At the time of the post, Little Green Footballs had little to do with politics (let alone islamic jihad) and a lot to do with bicycling and low-end computer programming. Back then, few people knew or cared who he was, kinda like now.
On the other hand, Charles Johnson has been shown to manipulate and edit his posts after-the-fact, so it’s possible that he changed the posting date to make it appear he was prescient. I don’t think that’s the case here – He was spooked by the event. Johnson was 48 years old at time of posting, old enough to figure it out.
The screencap is not the product of The Official BRC Nil Stooge Template, it’s what the LGF cached post looks like today, with the new FatBody LGF Logo, Twitter links, and an appropriately round, decade-old image of Charles Foster Johnson.
[This post by the legendary ChenZhen has been sitting silent in the bottom of the DoD drafts folder for years for unknown reasons, but since it’s the 6th Anniversary of Charles Johnson’s Johnson TwitterFail, we might as well turn it loose. –Briareus]
In light of Johnson’s recent, um, friskiness in the Twitterverse, and the fact that we kinda skipped the DoD awards ceremony this year, I’m going to go ahead and declare what would have been the winner anyway.
To be fair (not that we need to be), the tweet came during Johnson’s hilariously desperate attempts to defend and excuse Rep. Weiner while he was dealing with the bombshell that Breitbart delivered (in retrospect, perhaps we can assume that the fact that it was AB played a factor in the intensity of CJ’s efforts).
Frustrated, and convinced that he was fighting the good fight, he even added the trending hashtag to ensure that as many netizens outside his swamp saw this as possible: