Analog Computing Magazine July 1986: “RAMcopy!”

I took a stroll over to The Mothership this afternoon and found that she was down for unknown reasons. Thinking that my FireFox bookmarks might be corrupted due to the recent upgrade, I googled The Blogmocracy and clicked that link. No dice.

Instead I found an amusing blast from the past by Robert Stacy McCain in 2012. Down in the comments, “Jacobus” posted a link to this:

The last phrase in that self-description says a lot.

So 33-year-old Magical Jazzy played with Chicago in 1986? News to me, so I searched the BRC Archives. He never once mentioned the band, and he’s not listed anywhere in their lineups. Go figger.

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On 21 October 2016, The US Government Declared Little Green Footballs DEAD.

A short history is in order. By 2007, Charles Johnson was already preparing for his infamous hairpin turn to the left, and the signs were there. Some spotted the clues, others didn’t. For those who did and mentioned it, Johnson threatened his LGF members/critics with the phrase:

“If you don’t like it, start your own website.”

Many in the gated community called Little Green Footballs recognized what was coming down and decided to take the suggestion. LGF 2.0 made its debut in 2007.

Current and former “lizards” showed up at this experimental site, and it became popular for those who would rather post and discuss current events without Johnson’s ban stick hanging over their heads, without interference and dogpile tactics, his threats of censorship, and without his manipulation/editing of commenters’ posts.

Johnsons’ reaction was typical. He referred to this new website as “The Stalkers” and often claimed that the site was infested with viruses (with no evidence at all – it was a WordPress site) in order to discourage his followers from reading criticism.  LGF 2.0 operated in similar fashion to LGF, but without the squelch, and posters enjoyed mocking Charles Johnson from beyond his reach. This inflamed the vindictive blogger, and Johnson made a move that was noticed by LGF 2.0:  he filed for trademark protection with the U.S. Patent & Trademark Office, presumably to protect his “brand” and to shut down his critics on LGF 2.0.

During the process, Johnson probably learned that you can’t trademark initials, but several hundred dollars and approximately eight months later, he was granted a trademark for the name “Little Green Footballs.”

Meanwhile, he’d flashed his cards enough times that LGF 2.0 morphed into The Blogmocracy.

So what’s the point of all this? Aside from the USPTO, two people knew about this. One was Charles Johnson. The other?  Internet Septic Tank Engineer, aka BRC Engineer No. 1.

On 21 October 2016, the U.S. Patent & Trademark Office declared Little Green Footballs DEAD.


Here’s a blow up of the screen cap with little red boxes added for emphasis.


[Source]

What’s coming next? I don’t know, Babs, but I do know this. Charles Johnson needs to pony up some more clams before someone in Pyongyang scoops up Little Green Footballs and starts charging him royalty fees.

Or he can wait and see…


Charles Johnson’s 2011 Independence Day Salmon Barbecue

Took a quick wade through The Swamp this afternoon, and there’s no “traditional July 4th open thread,” so let’s set The WayBack Machine to the Year of Our Lord 2011 and see what Our Hero was talking about.

Who’s up for some BBQ?

Marinate it overnight, then slather it in Barbie Sauce and throw it on the grill.  Better yet, get someone else to cook it up for you, Charles, because you don’t barbecue fish.

Read the rest of this entry »


The Magical Jazzy Twitterverse of Charles Foster Johnson

A commenter downstairs opined that Charles Johnson’s reported 37.7k Twitter followers are mostly bots, so we decided to look into it. The results so far: I don’t know Babs, but I do know this. As of January 2013 9.5% were fake according to TwitterAudit.


To run a current survey we’d need to sample and vet 200 random Twitter followers just to get a margin of error of about ±7%. Nah, I’ll pass on that drudgery. Then there’s this.

FollowerWonk compares the stats of different Twitter accounts and messes with them a bit. I took her for a free ride, plugged in @green_footballs and @gus_802 and got this:

The colors have been changed to green for Johnson, blue for Gusano; the data has not been altered. Meanwhile, Johnson’s original Twitter account, @lizardoid is still active, but was scraped of all tweets and responses. I wonder why…

Note that the @lizardoid account still has 11 followers. Hey Charles! Who are you sending DMs to via this account, and why? Who do you think you’re fooling? LMAO.


Alexa Talks About Little Green Footballs

Once in a while it’s kinda fun to see how Charles Johnson’s Little Green Footballs stats are doing, and Alexa turned up an interesting aberration in the decline.


The image above has been chopped and channeled and lowered and louvered for clarity (and a little bit of ventilation) but the graphs and data from Alexa are sound and legit as of 1 May 2017.

What happened in January likely had to do with the Presidential Inauguration, as a lot of people (including me) wanted to watch Charles Johnson’s meltdown, but the views should have dropped off shortly after. Then there’s that bizarre spike mid-February, and it took until late April for the LGF Decline to resume. Johnson has fudged his view stats in the past, so perhaps he got caught at it again and was busted by an extraneous algorithm. Search engines don’t give him much traffic as he’s got little original content and he’s got most bot crawlers blocked. Not only that, but LGF hasn’t been a “news aggregator site” for years, because these days it’s all about “clickbait.” Here’s the kicker:

95 percent of all websites load faster than Johnson’s Little Green Footballs.

Nice work, Charles.


Should we hug them or make them eat worms? Charles Johnson thinks jihadis need hugs.

Wow. Now Charles Johnson is going after The Gray Lady, aka, The New York Times. Never mind that the NYT states the obvious, that people all over the world are fed up with squishy politicos who allow islamic terrorism to proliferate by rolling their eyes and saying “Can’t we all just get along?” or “We’re all for diversity, no matter the cost,” or more often, “Fuck it. We’re caving.”

Terrorists are essentially cowards, yet they’re still dangerous. The political left seems to think that giving them RC Cola and Little Debbie snack cakes will get them to the poker table, while the political right knows that an enemy won’t negotiate until he’s shoved face down into the sandbox and forced to eat worms.

So, Charles. Would you rather hug a jihadist or make him eat worms? If you’d rather pass on embarrassing yourself, we’ll provide one or more of your archived answers and repost them for you.

[h/t dezes157 & this.]


Did Charles Johnson Help Save a Marriage?

The answer is NO.

Charles Johnson never saved anything, including his credibility, self-respect and his own blog. Almost six years ago he beclowned himself in defense of Rep. Anthony Weiner, and we all know how that turned out.

Recent reports suggest that Weiner‘s proxy wife Huma Abedinis working hard” to get them back together, now that the political heat is off. I suspect that her husband of convenience is doing the *ahem* same.

Meanwhile, Charles’ original Tweet is still functioning, unlike his neocortex.

Yeah, that classic deserves many more retweets than it’s received. Now about that dated avatar, Charles…

[h/t Chen Zhen for preserving the twitterlinky and stuff.]