Correction. It’s worse than he thought.

Recently we posted a graphic from web ranking site Alexa that shows Charles Johnson’s Little Green Footballs in steady and predictable decline. Today we realized that Alexa’s graph was a bit skewed for unknown reasons.

There is some oddness in that graph that we didn’t spot until today. The rows are not equal. They should be the the same between
<50k – 100k
<100k – 150k
<150k – 200k
<200k – 250k
but they’re not. Maybe it softens the blow to Johnson’s ego, but it’s not accurate. Here’s what we posted:

Here’s the same Alexa graph with the rows adjusted:

Don’t see it yet? How about a throbbing Alexa Graph?


What does this mean? It means that Charles Johnson’s Little Green Footballs is tanking faster than even Alexa is willing to admit.

Rock on, Charles. We love ya, man.


The Decline is in full tilt mode.

Charles Johnson’s Little Green Footballs got a spike in popularity a few months ago for unknown reasons, but it was short-lived. Might have been an echo from the POTUS inauguration, but that was then and this is this.

What happened after the spike in traffic in late January, and the crash of late May? Was it a self-promotion gimmick that kept it level for three months? I suppose it doesn’t matter, because Charles Johnson’s Little Green Footballs is still on the predictable trajectory despite the graphic plateau. LGF fell off the mesa and is heading for The Mojave.

Last time we checked, LGF had a global rank of 168,689 and a US rank of 50,248. Rock on, Charles. You’re awesome.


Charles Johnson’s 2011 Independence Day Salmon Barbecue

Took a quick wade through The Swamp this afternoon, and there’s no “traditional July 4th open thread,” so let’s set The WayBack Machine to the Year of Our Lord 2011 and see what Our Hero was talking about.

Who’s up for some BBQ?

Marinate it overnight, then slather it in Barbie Sauce and throw it on the grill.  Better yet, get someone else to cook it up for you, Charles, because you don’t barbecue fish.

Read the rest of this entry »


Charles Johnson Said Kathy Griffin didn’t go far enough with her stupid decapitation stunt.

Ramping it up, are we, Charles? We can play that game, too.

There was a time when someone said he/she wanted to see Johnson’s head on a pike. Johnson screamed bloody murder and claimed it was a death threat, until ISTE jumped in to fill the request.

[Top image h/t @Beerbarron32 via dezes157. Bottom image from here.]


Not so long ago, Charles Johnson was a racist according to his own standards.

Admit you said that, Charles, then maybe we’ll talk.

[h/t Trump is Teh HORROR!- Chunky McDumbth, #1Olberdouche Fan Boy.]


LOL Indeed, Charles.

Johnson can’t debate, won’t discuss, makes fun of names and mocks the genetic physical features of others. Charles, you’re a mental defective who needs an in-house counselor during your waking hours. Call @Gus_802. He knows everything.


Greatest @Green_Footballs Tweet of 2011

[This post by the legendary ChenZhen has been sitting silent in the bottom of the DoD drafts folder for years for unknown reasons, but since it’s the 6th Anniversary of Charles Johnson’s Johnson TwitterFail, we might as well turn it loose. –Briareus]

In light of Johnson’s recent, um, friskiness in the Twitterverse, and the fact that we kinda skipped the DoD awards ceremony this year, I’m going to go ahead and declare what would have been the winner anyway.

To be fair (not that we need to be), the tweet came during Johnson’s hilariously desperate attempts to defend and excuse Rep. Weiner while he was dealing with the bombshell that Breitbart delivered (in retrospect, perhaps we can assume that the fact that it was AB played a factor in the intensity of CJ’s efforts).

Frustrated, and convinced that he was fighting the good fight, he even added the trending hashtag to ensure that as many netizens outside his swamp saw this as possible: