Charles Johnson hasn’t been paying attention for years, yet now he’s suddenly omniscient.

Dude. Their emails were released to the public years ago. Please try to keep up.

BTW, congrats on getting 3 updings. You’re so awesome Charles.

214 Comments on “Charles Johnson hasn’t been paying attention for years, yet now he’s suddenly omniscient.”

  1. Bunk X says:

    I don’t care if it’s his left or right hand, I don’t EVEN want to know about Charles Johnson’s sex fantasies.

  2. Bunk X says:

    • Octopus says:

      I can’t decide which I loved more, this re-enactment of actual emails or his true statement that Biden only became VP because he was kissing Obama’s ass fervently and lovingly. 😆

      “Oh, I love you so much. I love you, Obama’s ass. I love you too, Joe!”

  3. rightymouse says:

    Am back in town! Did I miss anything? 😆

      • rightymouse says:

        I saw on the previous thread that you have emergency dental work today??? If they’re going to dig around, I advise something to knock you out. Hope it all goes well & you’re not in pain.

        • Octopus says:

          Thanks, ‘Mouse. I’m hoping for a peaceful resolution, with no root canal and no crown needed. My amateur guess is that my chances are about 50/50. Not ideal, but I’m an optimist at heart.

          How was your trip? We went to Traverse City for the annual Oktoberfest blowout with my sister, and it was nuts. Some guys offered me “magic mushrooms,” which I smartly declined. I did not smartly decline being overserved a couple of gallons of beer…still recovering today. 😆

          • rightymouse says:

            I HATE dental work! Hope all goes well for you!
            My trip was great except the return flight – way too late at night.
            Otherwise, we got to visit with my hubby’s cousins and go with my MIL to the yearly trek to my FIL’s grave. We drank his favorite drink in a toast to him – martini with olives! 🙂 Ate lots of lobster! 🙂 Only had one crappy meal & that was prime rib. 😦 Was so disappointed!
            Anyway, all in all, was a terrific trip! 🙂

  4. rightymouse says:

    “BTW, congrats on getting 3 updings. You’re so awesome Charles.”
    You spelled ‘pathetic’ wrong. 😆

  5. dezzez says:

    WHAAAAA! “The news media ignores me when someone makes a meme of my severed empty head”. WHAAAA!

  6. Octopus says:

    Might be a sign, me man. Maybe you should get a real life?

  7. Octopus says:

    ‘Member last week when Chonky was howling and slapping his fat knees over Fauxcahontas’s “glib zinger?” Well, it was staged. Like everything else in her career, it was a lie.

  8. Octopus says:

    We don’t expect you to know things, Fat Drunk Gus. 😄

  9. Octopus says:

    Climate Crisis Extinction Rebellion OMFG!!1! 😆

    The Idiot Left never fails to cover themselves in glory, eh?

    Oh, and Aaron Rodgers is a witch.

  10. Octopus says:

    Again?! That makes ten times, in the current month. How many times can he be taken down, without ever actually being touched by an Idiot Left glove?

    Walls and wheels.

  11. rightymouse says:


  12. rightymouse says:

    Now we know why Fatso has such crappy taste in music. 😆

    • Octopus says:

      In truth, marijuana also makes great music sound better, to most people at least. I don’t indulge anymore, but I remember. 😆

      • Bunk X says:

        The Beatles’ “Number Nine” was a terrible song unless you were completely zoomed. So was Pink Floyd’s “Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving with a Pict.” I liked both.

  13. rightymouse says:

    Hmmmmmmmmmmm…you smoke pot??? Really??? 😆

  14. rightymouse says:

    Am going to watch the Donkey debate tonight. Until my brain starts to vomit.

    • Octopus says:

      I watched the horrible, crooked football game last night until my brain started vomiting. I need a good night’s sleep, tonight.

      The dentist filed the sharp edges off my broken tooth, and I’ll be getting a cap put on in January, when my dental insurance “re-charges.” It’s not like I’m giddy about splitting the two-thousand dollar bill with my insurance, but it’s better than footing the whole fucking thing. God damn Jolly Ranchers!

      • rightymouse says:

        Lemme guess. Delta Dental insurance? Can anything be charged to medical?

        • Octopus says:

          Yes, and no. A cap is reimbursed 50%, one time per year, up to $1000 per cap. I had to have one done last year, too. Other dental visits are covered about 90%, with checkups/cleanings covered completely. It’s a decent plan, but it’s not like when I worked for GM back in the late-’70’s, where everything was covered 100%. The hillbillies who got jobs in the plant would come in with “Deliverance”-teeth, and a year later, they had Hollywood smiles. 🙂

          • rightymouse says:

            Have you thought about just doing an implant?

          • Octopus says:

            Not there yet, ‘Mouse. Lots of tooth left. I don’t know what the future holds, though. Maybe some living shark-teeth, grown on an embryonic mouth made of my own DNA. Maybe just go with the stainless-steel choppers.

  15. Octopus says:

    Wait until you see what he can do with some rope, his hubby and a Black Mamba marital aid from Chonky’s Amazon store. 😯

  16. rightymouse says:

    So far in the boring debate, Warren is coming across as a nutbag socialist, giving Sanders a run for his money.

  17. Bunk X says:

    Rediscovered this ska classic from Gary U.S. Bonds today.

  18. Octopus says:

    Watson is cold-blooded. 😆

    I really can’t believe Youtube hasn’t banned him by now. I know they’ve de-monetized him, but it hasn’t even slowed him down.

  19. Octopus says:

    Is there anything worse than an insane billionaire with messianic delusions? Asking for Tom Steyer and George Soros…

  20. Octopus says:

    It’s all about the shoes. Grossly-overpriced, made with slave-labor shoes, and half-a-billion NBA basketball shoe buyers in Red China.

    Gee…can we ever truly listen to wokescolds like Popovich and Kerr again, when they beat our ears with social justice baller-blather? Never mind LeBron… 😆

  21. Octopus says:

    Why haven’t you white people killed yourselves already? How dare you continue to exist!

  22. Octopus says:

    Why isn’t Greta Thunberg addressing the panel with hard-hitting questions and dire accusations? Chonky wants to know why she’s being kept out of the discussion!

    Oh, and I read yesterday that both Shrillary and Moochelle are testing the waters with big donors to see if there’s interest in their galumphing into the race. The latter, it is said by the media’s infallible pollsters, would enter the race as the instant favorite to defeat her Dem rivals AND Trump. 😆

  23. rightymouse says:

    I went to bed before the end of the Donkey debate last night. What a snoozer. None of them have fun, type A personalities. Very different than our last election when Donald Trump kicked ass in the primaries and then wiped the floor with Hillary.

  24. rightymouse says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😆 😆

  25. rightymouse says:

    One thing is for sure. The Donkeys want all your guns just like Hitler and Stalin/Lenin before they slaughtered their own people. Make no mistake about it!

  26. rightymouse says:

    Bunk! What’s up with the Wingularity link??

  27. rightymouse says:

    Daou. What a moron. 😆

  28. Octopus says:

    Well, Gus, that’s a real puzzler. Could it be the 100 million-plus of their ideology’s dead victims, screaming at them from the grave all the time? That would be taxing. Crippling tax-y, even.

    • rightymouse says:

      Because they are miserable control freaks who despise humanity. On stage at the Donkey debates, did you see ANY of them having a good time??? No. They were angry sourpusses. The worst one was Kamala Harris.

    • Koko says:

      Dunno Gus. Why are you and Chonky McFatso such sour douche bags?

  29. OLT, Legendary Status Dutch Uncle says:

    Everyone dies.

    Not looking forward to the hollow but now-required paeans and cries of statesman, elder, and guide.

    Not at all. These was no love lost between us, apparently. Such is life. Every man is my brother, but not every man is my friend.

    Everyone dies. We bury the dead and move on, reassured of our own mortality.

  30. dezzez says:

    A prediction.
    Fat loser will pull himself free from a gooey mattress, See Cummings has passed away, will post how hateful conservatives are being about it with zero evidence, just to rake in a few pennies from said death.

  31. rightymouse says:

    Going to a fundraiser tonight. As always, I hope they have a decent silent auction. 🙂

  32. Octopus says:

    The REAL Lebron is finally revealed. 😆

    The wokescolds are scurrying around the internet, trying to delete this pic from everywhere, so enjoy it while you can.


  33. Octopus says:

    Ooohhh, they have a New Scandal for the weekend talk-vomit shows! EMOLUMENTS!

    Or, as Chonky says, “Emo-lu-mints.” Same diff. 😆

  34. Octopus says:

    May I suggest a drinking game, to make it more fun for your kind? I mean, all the alcoholic wastrels?

    Drink every time Trump says something positive about his record in office. I promise you will catch a fine buzz, until you sit on the cat. 😆

    • Koko says:

      Not surprising. Gus has escaped from frank talk his entire life. It’s why he left his sister’s garage. He left on his terms right after she threw him out. LOL!

      • Octopus says:

        Imagine his sister’s dismay, when she found his crusty, hole-y undershorts draped over the glasses and silverware in the dishwasher. I bet her shrieks could be heard around the block. 😱🤮😂

    • Bunk X says:

      He heard like two minutes.

  35. Octopus says:

    Blue-on-blue violence alert! 😂

  36. Koko says:

    I’ve lost track of who’s doing who. But I’m certain they’re doing the people’s work! They don’t call it Californication for nuthin’ 😜

  37. Octopus says:

    And you become the poor woman’s idiotic drunken stumblebum grown-child. How’s that working out for ya, romantically speaking?

  38. Octopus says:

    Hmm…sometimes you have to limit yourself, vocabulatin’-wise.

  39. Octopus says:

    Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. 🙂

  40. Octopus says:

    Be over in a jiffy, girl. Just ironing my drawers. 🙂

    • Bunk X says:

      Love it. There was a compilation put out by Rosetta Records entitled “Mean Mothers.” Great nasty double entendre early jazz, like this:

  41. Octopus says:

    Okay, we get it. You’ve been very clear. No judgement here, either.

    • Bunk X says:

      Octo– I thought you hated jazz. Y’all be jammin’.

      • Octopus says:

        There’s jazz, and there’s jazz. Some stuffs is good, with clear R&B underpinnings. A LOT is just headachey noodling, bordering on spoo. A great singer can make up for a lot of spoo. These mean mothers are all incredible singers. Soul pours out of them. The exact opposite of Chonky’s guitar-scratching. 🐔

  42. Octopus says:

    I’ve come to you sweet man
    Falling on my knees
    I’ve come to you, pretty papa
    Falling on my knees
    To ask, if you ain’t got nobody
    Kind darlin’, take me please

    ‘Cause I’m a mighty tight woman
    I’m a real tight woman, I’m a jack of all trades
    I can be yo’ sweet woman an’ also be yo’ slave
    I can do things so good
    ‘Til you will swear that I have a halo over me

    I hear ev’rybody saying
    That I’m tight in ev’rything that I do
    I’ve got all the men cryin’
    I’m a broad that never feels blue
    All I want is a good man
    And I will make him happy too

    If you a married man
    You ain’t got no business here
    ‘Cause when you out with me
    I might make yo’ wife shed tears
    ‘Cause I’m a mighty tight woman
    And there is nothin’ that I fear

  43. Abu penis penis penis lol says:

    Sideboard block for $400, Alex.

  44. Octopus says:

    Nothing objectionable in this Times Square ad, is there? I mean…imagine Unicorn Messiah or Shrillary in the same position, and cover your ears! 🙀😹

  45. Octopus says:

    I’ve had Panera’s Mac and Cheese, and various soups. I never thought they were made from scratch in their kitchen, prepared with love by their scruffy, moody employees. Call me Mr. Cynical.

    This girl is kind of dumb, but she’s cute. She’ll be fine. In fact, I’m looking for good office help. Someone discreet and presentable. She’s batting .500, in those attributes.

  46. rightymouse says:

    Shrillary stuck her big foot in her mouth over Tulsi Gabbard who took aim and fired back, hitting Shrillary right in the face. So, like a coward, Shrillary runs away. 😆

    • Octopus says:

      Stupid, crazy old hag, spewing conspiracy theories all over the place. Stay home and get plastered, Shrillary. You are done. Over. But do please run again. 😆

  47. rightymouse says:

    Joke for the day:

    A young ventriloquist is touring Sweden and, one night, he’s doing a show in
    a small fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through
    his usual dumb blonde jokes.

    Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts
    shouting, “I’ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you
    think you can stereotype Swedish blonde women that way? What does the color
    of a woman’s hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It’s men like
    you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the
    community, and from reaching our full potential as people. It’s people like
    you that make others think that all Blondes are dumb! You and your kind
    continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in
    general…pathetically all in the name of humor!”

    The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells:

    “You stay out of this! I’m talking to that little shit on your lap

    • Octopus says:


      Ever notice how all of those knee-people are sumbitches? She’s right about that. Needs his little bony ass kicked.

  48. rightymouse says:

    Going to another fundraiser tonight. :

    • Octopus says:

      I’m gonna stay home and torture myself with another football game, as the water-treading Wolverines attempt to enter the White-Out Bowl of Pedo State and come out with an unlikely win. And tomorrow, the Lions will lose to the Vikings at home, and we can stop thinking things are different this year on that sorry front. So, big plans.

      Have fun at the fundraiser!

  49. Octopus says:

    I came across Lady Gaga’s first interview with Howard Stern on the internet, and I was really amazed at how real and believable she came off. Such honesty is rare. I knew she played a few songs on his show that day, so I looked on the Youtube, and found this. I was lukewarm to this song on the radio, as I was to most of her stuff, but this acoustic version slays. Listen to that voice. That’s a real singer.

  50. Octopus says:

    George has a skin infection, and we had to drag him to the vet today. They shaved his back and medicated his “hot spots,” charged us millions for medicines, and sent us home with one doped-up dog. ☹️

  51. Octopus says:

    That dog is driving!

  52. Octopus says:

    Done gave up on Michigan, for good this time, and now I’m gonna watch this bootleg copy of “Joker.” First, let’s nail down the sidebar with some good ol’ Supersuckers covers, and maybe an original or two.

    This is actually a powerful song. The original, and this version.

  53. Octopus says:

    Just good fun, here.

  54. Octopus says:

    I am also a cowboy. On a steel horse, I ride. I’m wanted, dead or alive. Worth more dead than alive, thanks to life insurance and whatnot. 🙂

  55. Octopus says:

    Drunk guys on stage doing stuff for the ages. 😆

    I loved this song in the original Ramones version, and I like this one, too.

  56. Octopus says:

    Gay homo musics for shut-ins! 😆

  57. Octopus says:

    Greatest Supersuckers song ever, done country style. And the original, so we’re fair and balanced.

  58. Octopus says:

    9pm on Saturday night, and I own the sidebar entirely. Like a boss. Not “The Boss,” that asshole Springsteen. Just a regular American who loves capitalism and hates the commies.

    Kind of like this guy:

  59. Koko says:

    Watching The Dish – very good.

  60. Octopus says:

    I need a safe for work and kids Halloween costume by next week, if anyone has any decent ideas that are cheap and easy. Last year I was Dracula, the year before a dog. Both went over very well, and now people expect something. I’m tempted to go with a “This is my costume”- t-shirt, to put that shit to rest. I can’t do my old hobo trick, for obvious reasons. I just want to do something easy and possibly funny.

    Any suggestions welcome, unless it’s dressing up like a giant fat circus freak fused to a futon. I will do anything for love, but I won’t do that.

    Example of “too hard to make.”

  61. Koko says:

    LOL! Chick get’s fat eating during Unicorn Messiah’s preezyduncy. Blames Trump “era” er something and unfounded claim white women lose weight easier!

    Chonk’s peeps are quite the barrel of laughs. A regular clown act are the left weirdos.

    • Octopus says:

      So it’s not the buffet meals, and Supersizing every fast-food order? Hunh. Boy, Trump really gets around. 😱

  62. Octopus says:


    Babylon Bee is officially on the short-list for de-platforming.

  63. dezzez says:

    I’ll take things that never happened for 500 Alex.

    • Koko says:

      I’m guessing maybe once in 1980 with one of the three name acts he played bad back up guitar for.

      • Octopus says:

        I’m guessing he drove through Kentucky, speeding away in the stolen VW. Back in the ’80’s, when he could still leave the house, smoking was mandatory there. 🙂

  64. rightymouse says:

    Our home Internet was down most of the day today. Hate that! 😦

  65. rightymouse says:

    Made a lovely rib roast for dinner. Was delicious! 🙂

  66. Koko says:

    WTF? Mitt’s such a weasel. He says Trump tweets too much then he goes icognito and insults people. Trump stands by his tweets like a man which is why he’s POTUS and Romney’s just a limp dick whiner.

    • Octopus says:

      Mitt’s probably tweeting in his Magic Underwear, as we speak. With a new nic, Big Ham Young. Or something just as clever.

      Remember when Trump took him out to dinner, when Mitt was angling for a job in the administration? And then didn’t give him the job? 😆

    • Octopus says:

      He had that joke about going into a restaurant that offered, “Breakfast Anytime.” He ordered, “French Toast from the Renaissance.” (rimshot)

      Best weirod comic of all-time. 😆

  67. Octopus says:

    Chonky was always such a GREAT judge of character, with penetrating insights. 😆

    charles Tue, Jul 17, 2001 12:06:09pm
    Lance put a big old hammer down on the Telekom boys today. It has to be very
    demoralizing for them to feel like they’re setting a blistering pace, watching
    everyone else fall behind … and then suddenly Lance just drops them all like a
    losing argument!
    This was an awesome show of strength. It will be very interesting
    tomorrow to see how badly these guys hurt themselves today. Ullrich was in a
    world of pain at the finish; he had to dig really deep just to minimize his

    00000685 00696 7 charles Tue, Jul 17, 2001 5:31:44pm
    I think that’s Lance’s edge; he trains more systematically, in a more dedicated
    fashion, than any other modern cyclist.

    …and then, he cheats his ass off, and viciously attacks anyone who dares to call him on it, including teammates. What a great guy!

    I do give him full marks for his charity, and for beating cancer, but his behavior in attempting to keep the lid on his massive cheating program was despicable. He ruined other people, while covering up his own sins. Kind of Clinton-esque, in retrospect.

    • Octopus says:

      P.S. Thanks to “Teh Johnson File” for the above glimpse into Chonky’s giant pre-9/11 brain. 😆

  68. Octopus says:

    Just wait until her handlers drag her drunken ass back into the race, Fatass. You ain’t seen nuthin’ yet! 😆