TSIAFU – The Tao of Charles Johnson

Since not all of his lizardlappers follow him on Twitter, Charles made sure they saw his brilliant insightful comment by reposting it on Little Green Footboils. But what does it mean?

I don’t know, Babs, but I do know this. It’s time to poll the audience.

Have at it.



204 Comments on “TSIAFU – The Tao of Charles Johnson”

  1. Octopus says:

    “Why am I not 50 points ahead?!”
    — Shrillary in late-October 2016

    The Idiot Left appears headed for similar dumbfounded perplexion in 2020. Chonky’s darling Fauxcahontas is hanging around waiting for Uncle Touchy to publicly molest a kid or punch a woman who angers him with an impertinent question. 😂

  2. Octopus says:

    On the home stretch today, looking forward to getting home and resuming my normal societal role. Being a tourist is fine for a while, but it’s tiring and expensive. I miss my dog(s), too.

    • rightymouse says:

      It’s great to be home, for sure! And I totally agree about the wear & expense of being touristy. Jet lag is the pits.

      • Octopus says:

        Coastal lag is pretty bad, too. I’m still about two hours behind. Got to catch up!

        • Bunk X says:

          The 405 does it to me on a daily basis. I don’t know what you’re complaining about. Y’all actually get to travel and stuff. 😀

          • Octopus says:

            Anyone can travel. You just have to get in the car and drive. GPS is your helper. 😀

            As for work, you just to convince yourself and your boss that you can work from the road. With everything being on the internet these days, a lot of people can swing it. Not everyone, I know.

          • rightymouse says:

            I hated the 405 when I lived in LA. The traffic is the pits. Bunk, honey, you gotta move outta that pit-hole. Seriously. Come east to the Ohio/Indiana/Michigan area where things are a bit slower & you can buy a decent home for an affordable amount.

          • Octopus says:

            No earthquakes, mudslides, forest fires that threaten cities, scruffy surfers, or scrofulous celebs. A much-better ratio of rationals to shitlibs, too. 😉

            Okay, it snows a little. It’s cold from November to March, too. Me, I love the seasons, as long as we get a little break somewhere along the arctic-way for a trip to sunny Florida. 🙂

          • rightymouse says:

            Just think, Bunk, darls – a roaring fire during the winter with Bunkess snuggling on the couch with you! 🙂

          • Bunk X says:

            Yeah, I’ve thought about moving back to Winterslushland a few times, but I don’t think the missus would go. Last time we were there, humidity was up about 90%, and she said that she’d never seen so many fat sweaty white people.

            OTOH, we’re going to have to retire somewhere outside of the People’s Republic of California, and our house is our nest egg. Our 1400 sq. ft. house is worth about $550K according to Zillow, so that could buy us a lot of Skyline, Hudepohl and a/c.

            Do you have illegals around who will shovel snow for $5/hr?

        • Octopus says:

          A roaring wildfire, most likely. Bunk ain’t leaving Sunny Cali to move back to Flyover Country. 🙂

  3. Octopus says:


    The thundering denunciations from the Idiot Left and Teh Squad are going to be extra-thundery today! 😂

  4. rightymouse says:

    • Abu says:

      Bunk was correct: Guuus cut the LGF cord. He’ll still be an ass but he’s showing some growth.

      Not that Bunk isn’t usually right…

      • rightymouse says:

        Gus’ transition has been rather interesting to watch. He really needs to cut back on the booze & dope tho.

      • Bunk X says:

        El Gusano is not ignorant, but he’s stupid. There’s a difference.

        As for me being sometimes usually right, let’s just say that occasionally I could eyeball a desperate five-ball combination shot, occasionally pull it off, and act nonchalant as I followed the cueball to where I wanted it to be. Didn’t happen often, but when it did, I had to stay cool.

        Like this:


  5. rightymouse says:

    Sent by a friend:

    “If your girlfriend or boyfriend has stuck with you through times of poverty, hardship and tragedy and is still there for you, day after day, it’s about time you realized the truth and did the right thing. Dump them, they’re bringing you bad luck.”

  6. rightymouse says:

    I hate jet lag. HATE! 😦

    • Bunk X says:


    • KGB says:

      It’s always worse coming home from the Far East than going over. It always seems hit or miss with me. Sometimes I can jump right back into it, force myself to stay awake during the day, but sometimes that nap is so seductive and suddenly 4-5 hours have gone by and you’ve just screwed yourself up for days.

  7. OLT. Emperor of Texan Columbia, Minister Plenipotentiary of The Left Coast Union, Time Traveler To The Stars says:

    The people who want to be in charge of the country are in a concerted effort to make a recession happen, so they can get at Trump.

    Un-American. Anti-American. Today’s Democratic Party.

    Vote For Us Because Fuck You

  8. Octopus says:


  9. rightymouse says:

    Charles Johnson is a homophobe.

    • Bunk X says:

      00101997 05109 7 Charles Thu, Dec 26, 2002 3:32:31pm

      zulubaby wrote:

      Mazel Tov! I’m sure you’re very happy about this. Maybe next year it’ll be you 😉

      In my dreams, maybe! Actually, I’m ashamed to say how long it’s been since I’ve ridden. My bike is without wheels (it’s a long story). But maybe if our end of the year telethon gets a little closer to its projected goal of $800,000 (is it too much to hope for 10 times what Andrew Sullivan gets?) I’ll be able to afford that magic feather-light bicycle that will let me ride like Lance.


  10. rightymouse says:

    Charles Johnson also likes to virtue signal on Twitter. Blech.

    • OLT. Emperor of Texan Columbia, Minister Plenipotentiary of The Left Coast Union, Time Traveler To The Stars says:

      Ummm, except Antifa isn’t anti-Fascist. They are exactly Fascists.

      I mean, come on … if they called themselves “Boiled Eggs”, you’d eat them?

  11. Octopus says:


    I don’t usually rely on Vox for anything but laffs, but it appears they did the grunt work in this clickbait bs that’s been bugging me for some time. Btw, it’s 🌽. 😌 Now you can sleep.

  12. Octopus says:

    Anyone with a smidgen of intelligence knows that “fascist” is the most abused, made-meaningless word in the political lexicon. Also, all the hate-rhetoric and violence is coming from the Idiot Left.

    • Pakimon says:

      “Racist” and “Nazi” are a close second in the most abused, made-meaningless word department. 😀

      • Bunk X says:

        People who throw around those epithets either don’t know basic history, or they do and they want to rewrite it.

        I’m becoming convinced that it’s the second, and the illitarati are buying it.

      • Abu with the handsome a avatar says:

        “Woke” is in the team photo, amirite?

        Football is coming, Paki! Octo wants loads of Michigan U’s male cheerleader photos on Saturday morns.

        Just sayin’. 🚢🚢🚢🚢🚢

        • Octopus says:

          I do love to critique their thumb/middle-finger crotch-holds on the perky fe-mall-ays. 😁

          • Octopus says:

            Here, you can see the holdee is very comfortable and feeling secure, thanks to the firm grip he’s employing on her. It takes months of training to perfect this grip, but once mastered, it is never forgotten. By either party.

          • Bunk X says:

            The grip is just like bowling. He could swing her down then toss her over to the next handler.

          • Octopus says:

            Usually that is the case, but on second look, it appears this handler is employing the less-secure “Fartcatcher”-hold. The other grip is better and safer, but there are still some states and universities that put an unbroken hymen (or at least the illusion of one) up on a pedestal.

  13. Bunk X says:


  14. Bunk X says:

    Native Americans owned slaves before and after the white people showed up.
    Pass it on.

    • Octopus says:

      Not only that, they unashamedly tortured kidnappees to death if they didn’t work out as slaves or “replacement tribe.” They constantly warred with neighboring tribes over territory, and when they lost people to these wars, they would replace them by kidnapping people from other tribes. Some were made wives, some slaves, and a few young men even became loyal braves. I mean, consider the alternative. Being skinned alive is WAY overrated… 😱😵

      • rightymouse says:

        Don’t get me started on what they did to ancestors on my mother’s side in Massachusetts & Maine.

        • Octopus says:

          Bloody times. Of course, we still have some bloody times going on, especially in cities featuring a lively strong medicine trade. Still fighting over territory, and savagely.

        • Bunk X says:

          The History of Jefferson County (Ohio) records the kidnapping of two of my ancestors, 9 and 14 at the time IIRC. The Johnson brothers waited until the Indians were asleep, slipped out of their ropes, and slit throats with their captors’ own knives. Early 1800s.

          • Octopus says:

            Young White Supremacists! 😄

          • Bunk X says:

            Their captors weren’t interested in diplomacy.

          • Octopus says:

            Political Correctness wasn’t a major problem for either side.

          • rightymouse says:

            In Mother’s line, an ancestor’s baby was killed by a Feathered One in early Maine who swung it against a wooden stair and smashed its head. Maybe the Indian was pissed because the round-eyes had houses & stairs and they were still sleeping in crappy ‘huts’ with leaky roofs.

  15. Octopus says:

    Remember when Mann lost his 💩 over this strip in 2017? Good times! Scott made the guy look like Mann. 😆

  16. Octopus says:


    Good one from Coulter. The only defense for the NYT might be, the WaPo is worse. But there’s a race to the bottom going on.

  17. Octopus says:

    The amount of bad craziness that emanated from the Trump Chaos Nexus today was impressive. Not in a good way. twitter.com/Green_Football…
    14 minutes ago
    This motherfucker had a full fuckin day of spreading evil right wing propaganda far and wide.
    36 minutes ago
    And he’s still tweeting as I write this.
    43 minutes ago


    Never gets old, does it?

    Unlike your failed fundraiser, the sad results of which are as follows:

    $9,690 of $20,000 goal
    Raised by 227 people in 52 months
    Donate Now
    Share on Facebook
    Created May 6, 2015

    Charles Johnson
    Creative (when?!)

    Recent Donations

    Stephanie Smith
    7 days ago

    10 days ago

    Frede Courtright
    18 days ago

    Wish I could donate more. But grateful I can donate some.

    Page Sebring
    23 days ago

    LGF is a great website, offering rational political, analysis and just the right dose of humor and music. Charles is one of my favorite social media friends, and it’s his blog that made that solid. Donate, folks!

    23 days ago

    That last one is my favorite, the 100 smacks he self-donated in a futile attempt to prime the pump. Shit, man…nobody cares! I mean, three whole people cared, after the weeks of “We don’t do this often…” bullshit (because you never stop begging). Enough money to buy one bag of groceries, if you don’t go to Whole Foods.

    It’s all over but the organ failure. Get the bike fixed, get out of the bunker, and go for a ride in the sunshine. Go right now!

    • dezzez says:

      The sad part is, Chuck believes people should pay him to plagiarize content and use childish insults 12 hours a day.

    • Bunk X says:

      The first time Charles Johnson used the purloined phrase, “Bad craziness” on LGF:

      01964012 17256 17 Charles Sat, Aug 27, 2005 7:27:00pm

      LaRouche seems to be focusing on Cheney for some weird reason. There were two other anti-Cheney posters on display, and one of the creeps at the table approached me and said, “Are you ready to get Dirty Dick deposed?”
      I have no idea what the point of this evil poster is; but if you think that’s weird, you should see the literature they were handing out – a bizarre 32-page brochure mixing Communism, environmentalism, and antisemitism.
      Bad craziness.

  18. Bunk X says:

    Charlie’s Angel.

  19. Bunk X says:

    POLL: 69% would hold Trump responsible if recession.
    That means that 69% of those polled have no idea how the market works.

    • Octopus says:

      The Idiot Left believes we’re already in a recession, and it’s all Trump’s fault, for pissing off the Chinese. It’s laffable rot, but we mustn’t mention it in polite company or on Twitter. It triggers bad feelings for them.

      • Bunk X says:

        “Lowering taxes hurts the poor because there’s less of your money to give them.”
        I’ve actually heard that argument.

        • rightymouse says:

          My liberal mother told me that when Bush was President. I told her that she could help by sending an extra check to the IRS marked ‘for the poor’. She stopped talking to me for a few weeks.

          • Octopus says:

            Liberals don’t like cutting out the middleman, aka Big Nanny Guverness. Help the poor directly?! What kind of sick evil is that? 🤬

  20. rightymouse says:

    Took me a while to figure out the joke.

  21. Octopus says:

    Artisanally, of course.

    Hey, Chonky? The bike. It’s your only hope.

    • rightymouse says:

      She may try & claw her way back but the Donkeys seem to be stuck on Biden, Buttman and Fauxahontas.

      • Octopus says:

        I think she’s a goner. The “smart money” is on Lieawatha now, with Biden devolving rapidly into a pants-pissing fog of frottage. I hope it’s her, anyway — America needs to see how low she really has gone, in her disgusting career.

    • rightymouse says:

      Dreadful people!!! 😦

      • Octopus says:

        Indeed they are, ‘Mouse. This piece tried to make Beatty out to be the innocent victim of a rapacious hustler politician, but she was a total bitch-on-wheels around town when they were riding high. She famously asked a State Trooper who pulled her over for speeding, “Do you know who the fuck I am?” The trooper had no idea, not being a Detroit cop, and issued the citation. 😄

        Kwame has high hopes of getting a pardon from Obama, and was very shocked and pissed when his overtures were ignored by the Unicorn Messiah’s office, meaning Valerie Jarrett. Seems they didn’t want the mess of pardoning a convicted gangster.

  22. Octopus says:

    That’s perfect for you, then. You can have your daily spew ready to hurl by 9 am, leaving you the rest of the day to butter yourself up so you can squeeze through the patio or garage door, and hop on the reinforced, Super-Duty Trike we’re having delivered this week. Fitness Revenge Body, here you come! Pam will be eating her heart out by Thanksgiving, as you start posting pics of your svelte lady-killer physique.

  23. Octopus says:

    Cent Uygur’s nephew, an employee of Young Turks Shitshow Media, did the family and all of us proud yesterday.

    Can’t wait to see them all sobbing again, in November 2020.

    • Bunk X says:

      FatBoyCenk’s meltdown on election night was one of the best.

      • Octopus says:

        That was golden. Let’s relive those special moments, shall we?

        This is right after the “Blue Wall” collapsed, killing any chance of a Shrillary rally.

        • Octopus says:

          No, wait…that was Chonky, six months after Pam gave him the tanned stiff-arm. Still smarting, it looks like.

  24. ISTE says:

    Texting is like taking LSD, come on, own up, you all did it at least once.

    I liked the being able to see vivid colours part.

    The freaky shit was the weird, disjointed conversations. That is both scary and funny at the same time.

    Anyway last night out of the blue someone I know texted me things about “Little Mermaid” I did a WTF?

    Tonight I went to bed and sleep at about 10pm. Just after midnight I started getting texts from someone else I know that made absolutely no sense.

    Woke me up, I kept replying but still the answering texts were strange.

    Like a bad acid trip!

    Common thing was both people have an iPhone. Is there a button they can press that makes Android users go nuts?

    Anyway, now I am wide awake and craving a hot dog. My cat is wide awake and outside hunting mice.

    She has a better chance of catching a mouse than I do getting a hot dog.

    • Octopus says:

      One time we got a series of texts from our daughter, who was living in NYC at the time, that made little to no sense, and were not in response to our responses. Turns out she was sleep-texting, after a couple of days of all-work and almost no sleep. She sometimes sleeps with her eyes half-open, anyway, so she thinks she drifted off mid-text with the first one, and just kept going into Dreamland. So weird, and scary at the time, especially because she suddenly stopped texting with no explanation. We didn’t hear from her again until around 11 the next morning.

      • rightymouse says:

        Did she crave hot dogs while talking to you?

        • Octopus says:

          No. She was just babbling about stuff. Could have been awkward, if it was a different kind of dream.

          • rightymouse says:

            Good. ISTE’s hot dog craving in his sleepless state is just a weird craving.

          • Octopus says:

            Sometimes a hotdog is just a hotdog. In his case, it appears to be, well, a penis. NTTAWWT 😉

          • rightymouse says:

            Yeah. ISTE & hot dogs. I’m telling Calo!

          • Octopus says:

            I wonder what would happen if I took LSD now, as I did several times in my misspent youth. I could handle it pretty well as a youth, a lot better than some people I saw freaking out all over the place. Would the trips be better, or worse, given all that I’ve seen and experienced in my life? I mean, sometimes I get scared thinking about things while I’m straight, things like cancer, death, shitlibs taking over, etc. Shrillary’s shrieking face, all red and bulge-y. I’m just going to leave that stuff alone, thanks.

          • rightymouse says:

            Was never into drugs. Thank Gaia. I watched a number of kids in high school kill themselves in the late 60’s/early 70’s in Bangkok. Mostly heroin and pills. Tried pot. Didn’t do anything & couldn’t figure out what the fuss was all about. To this day am careful with things like pain pills after surgery or my latest bout dealing with leg muscle crappola caused by BP meds. Even then, the doc only gave me a 2 week supply and I used Motrin after that until my leg was ok.

          • Bunk X says:

            Pot just made me giggly, paranoid and hungry. Coke was too expensive, just made me stay up all night and unable to perform with the hotties.

      • Bunk X says:

        Did she sign off as “possum?”

  25. Octopus says:

    Of course CNN hired disgraced loser McCabe. He’ll fit right in. 😄

  26. rightymouse says:

    Fatso. Dumbass. 😆

  27. rightymouse says:

    What damage are you whining about? You still get Disability & Medicaid, right?

  28. Octopus says:

    Nice likeness.

    • rightymouse says:

      😆 😆 😆

    • rightymouse says:

      Trump needs to see this! 😆

    • Bunk X says:

      Okay, so the Missus’ birthday is coming up, and she wants us to do a DNA ancestry test. Anybody know the most reliable?

      I’m going to swab the neighbor’s dog’s jowls for my sample.

      • Octopus says:

        We used Ancestry.com, which seems as good as any. They also have a functional interface where you can see probable relatives all over the shithole country your ancestors escaped— mine was Ireland, hers was Greece. Some interesting “impurities” showed up in both of our spits — she had some Turk, which isn’t surprising due to the close proximity of Chios to Turkey. My ancestors went back and forth from Ireland to England. We also had one person from the Alsace-Lorraine region, related to the great-grandmother on Dad’s side who was said to speak only German. I think it’s pretty cool stuff, even if it’s not 100% accurate. Ours seemed very accurate.

        • rightymouse says:

          I got the Ancestry one but haven’t done the swab yet.

          • Octopus says:

            Do it, it’s fun! You’ve already paid for it, too. 😉

          • Octopus says:

            We did a DNA test on George, as we noticed some odd things about him. He had the curving backline of a greyhound-whippet, especially noticeable when he was a puppy, before he filled out. He sheds like crazy, way more than our other dogs. He’s very sweet and loving, but a real Nervous Nellie who hates water and vets with a passion.

            Turns out, he came back as 75% Whippet (explains the nerves and the backline), with about 10% Collie (explains the shedding), and the rest a mix of Beagle, Lab and unknown. A true American Mongrel. 🙂

            Nobody believes the Whippet-part anymore, as he is so big as an adult. “Pretty fat for a Whippet,” said one asshole neighbor. George is not fat! He’s just big. You can still feel his ribs, which is supposed to be the great indicator of a dog’s fitness or fatness.

  29. rightymouse says:

    Looks like RBG may have pancreatic cancer. If true, she needs to retire. NOW! Spend her final days with family!!


    • Octopus says:

      The Left is proclaiming her cured. My experience with pancreatic cancer is that there is no cure, and it’s extremely aggressive. Her days are numbered. Oh, the panic!

      • rightymouse says:

        Everyone I’ve known who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer died within months of the diagnosis. No wonder liberals are in panic mode. Another conservative on the court? The HORROR!

        • Octopus says:

          Trump will probably nominate a moderate liberal, just to mess with their minds. They’ll ruin the nominee with accusations most vile, and then the next one in line will be the real conservative! So many levels of chess… 😁

          • Abu penis penis penis lol says:

            Harriet Myers was either that type of genius move or W was the shithead the Left proclaimed.

  30. rightymouse says:

    YOU FIRST!!!

  31. Octopus says:


    Here’s a chilling tale, to help keep you awake at night. Yeesh!

  32. Octopus says:

    Who won? You or the dead mouse in your pocket?

  33. Octopus says:

    Kind of a funny, if sparsely-attended thread. It is noted that the Idiot Left has been saying the walls were closing in for three years, along with the wheels coming off, and other signs of imminent collapse. There are SWAT teams ready to move in and arrest Trump, as well as convoys of white trucks full of men in white suits with big white nets ready to take him to Crazytown. Not really discussed, is how in the hell he could be pulling record-setting 51% approval numbers at this stage of his first term, with the whole media/entertainment world hysterically raving about what a monster he is. 😆

    • rightymouse says:

      What happened to Journolist? I swear these liberal media morons are still getting their talking points from somewhere.

      • Octopus says:

        They still have Media Matters, a George Soros Production, and Common Dreams, the Uber-Progressive site that claims pure independence from deep-pockets sponsors, but somehow manages to publish every anti-capitalist, anti-American scribbler in the world, Wiki lists the following as regular content providers:
        Eric Alterman
        Noam Chomsky
        Alexander Cockburn
        Jeff Cohen
        Juan Cole
        Joe Conason
        David Corn
        Linh Dinh
        Robert Fisk
        Amy Goodman
        Tom Hayden
        Bob Herbert
        Arianna Huffington
        Molly Ivins
        Jesse Jackson
        Kathy Kelly
        Naomi Klein
        Paul Krugman
        Michael Lerner
        Michael Moore
        Ralph Nader
        Harold Pinter
        Ted Rall
        Frank Rich
        Robert Reich
        Arundhati Roy
        Bernie Sanders
        Robert Scheer
        Cindy Sheehan
        Katrina vanden Heuvel
        Howard Zinn

        Great group, eh? 😂

        I’m quite sure there’s still a Journolist lurking about, all the Kool Kimmie Kidz have their names on. They’re just so perfectly in tune with each other, and pivot so quickly from one to the next talking-point, using the exact same phrases.

  34. Octopus says:

    Yacht Rock. I was at a restaurant in LA that played it exclusively. I hated this stuff when it was new, but enough of it got through my thick crustacean exterior in the late-70’s and early-80’s that I got a little nostalgic buzz from it. Or maybe it was the wine…we were drinking really good wine.

    More here, if you’re interested. I’m not.


  35. Octopus says:

    Preacher’s being a little bossy here, but I honestly don’t see the benefits of having men dressed up like whores reading stories to little kids. Drag queens are a thing I have no problem with as an adult, but do children need this kind of in-your-face advertising for a fringe lifestyle?

  36. Octopus says:

    ‘Member when Chonky was tweeting out several times a day, “WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE CUZ TRUMP IS PROVOKING KIM JONG UN!!1!” Ah, those were the days. 😆

  37. Octopus says:

    Phew! I was afraid it was going to be a stray poop, presented by an angry neighbor.

  38. Octopus says:

    The Colossal Idiot Chonky really thinks Trump was serious about being The Chosen One. 😆

  39. Octopus says:

    See, for all our uppity notions, humans is just animals when it comes to the physical side of things. Just like any other animal, we have sex and make babies, eat and make poopy, drink and make pee-pee, sleep and dream about those other things, and then get up in the morning to do it all over again. We do a bunch of other stuff in our free time that distract us from the basics, and also tend to enhance the overall quality of life if done properly. Oh, and then we die.

    • Bunk X says:

      “I’m like a one-eyed cat, peepin’ in a seafood store.” – Big Joe Turner 1954

    • Bunk X says:

      I saw a documentary that included an interview with Leonard and Phil Chess. They recorded Big Mama Thornton’s “Hound Dog.” They said she came into the studio, and she was nasty, had scars from knife fights, too.

  40. rightymouse says:

    I know the feeling. 😦

  41. Octopus says:


    She mad, and she fired, because Da Man wanted Deadspin to stick to sports instead of Libturd Politics. 😆

  42. rightymouse says:

    So nice to spend a lazy Sunday afternoon without having to worry about getting things done because I have to be at work tomorrow. 🙂

  43. Octopus says:


    “We’re a little tiny bit flat-footed.” 😆

    Great article. Mind you, instead of doing journalism, the failing NYT is continuing to dedicate itself to attacking Trump. They just don’t have Russia to kick around anymore.

  44. Octopus says:

    You know, you can ignore all this shit if you stay at a really nice hotel, and only eat at four and five-star restaurants. 😆

  45. Octopus says:

    Right-o, Chonky. Trump is TERRIFIED of debating any of the Democratic powerhouse debaters. Like Biden, Warren and Sanders….AIYEEEEEEEEEEEE!! Lions and tigers and bears, oh my. Oh my aching ass, I mean. 😆

    In case you’re wondering, the color of the sky in Fatass’s world is rainbow, with sparkly glitter and cotton-candy pink clouds. And so much smog…