New Years’ Day 2019 – What was the first thing Charles Johnson thought of once he rolled off his futon and onto the linoleum?

Because he never married one?

*Knock, knock*
“Who’s there?”
“Charles’ uvula.”
“Charles’ uvula who?”
“I dunno, Charles, but I do know this. Your uvula is on the fritz.”

Charles, you’re a mess.

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