“Polk Salad?” Charles, you’re an idiot.

Great song, Charles, but they ain’t be no such thang as “polk salad,” and I doubt that you’ve ever met anyone from Louisiana, let alone been there. Y’all wouldn’t know a pokeweed from Barrett Brown.

Poke Sallet is a cooked dish made from pokeweed (poke) that grows wild in the south. Pokeweed is poisonous/toxic except for young un-mature sprouts, grows over 6 feet tall, with big leaves, purple stems and white popcorn-shaped berries. I remember it being called “Hillbilly Acid.” I never ate it.

Now quit pretending to be hip with the soul food crowd and go away.

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191 Comments on ““Polk Salad?” Charles, you’re an idiot.”

  1. Chunk’s pannus says:

    WTF is with DeSantis? All he had to do is not step on his dick. His opponent is already under an investigation. Although it is an FBI investigation so who knows whether any allegations are true or not since the whole place is ran by crooks. But seriously Desantis? You can’t keep your fucking yap shut when “Monkeying this up” pops into your dim bulb? Why don’t you put on a white robe and talk about monkeys some more. Let’s get this vote right people. Let’s take the bones out of our noses and stop yelling OOGA BOOGA and get this vote right!

  2. Octopus says:

    🙂

  3. Octopus says:

    The camps, Chunky. Wait until he starts opening up the camps… MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!1!

    Just Fat Camp for you. 😆

    • Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

      Advice to Chunky: The key thing is to breathe into a bag when you start to hyperventilate. Then check your tampon. It probably needs changing. Toxic shock can cause delerious ravings right before death.

    • Bunk X says:

      Charles, under socialism/facism/communism, you’d be either dead or disappeared, and a government would own your website.

  4. Octopus says:

    How long would Chunky last in a one-on-one debate with Crowder, before he started mumbling and running away? Ten seconds? Less?

    • Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

      He would never show up to start with. He doesn’t have the balls the lady in the sun dress does.

    • rightymouse says:

      He doesn’t have the balls. Correct.

      • Bunk X says:

        CNN should be knocking on his door about now.

        Don Lemon: “So, Charles, when did you decide to abandon your white supremist attitudes?”

        Charles Johnson: “Um, Don, I never had them.”

        Don Lemon: “So there you have it. Charles Johnson admits that he’s never abandoned his white supremist attitudes. We gotta go to a commercial break, but when we come back, Charles Foster Johnson will explain why he doesn’t hate black musicians any more.”

        • Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

          That’s why he doesn’t work for black employers anymore. He also would still be beating his wife had she not divorced him.

          • Bunk X says:

            “Charles, your housekeeper said you made her empty urine-filled quarts of Mountain Dew. What race or nationality is she, and why do you exploit her?”
            “Um, well, that’s not true.”
            “So you DO pee into empty quarts of Mountain Dew. Gotta go to commercial break, but when we come back, Charles Johnson will attempt to defend himself against accusations of racism.”

    • Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

      Yeah, totally. She still says kind words about him because she can’t believe anyone could be that much of a treacherous lying prick right to her face.

      http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5715425/Sarah-Palin-calls-John-McCains-comments-perpetual-gut-punch.html

      EXCLUSIVE: That’s not what he told me! Sarah Palin says hearing John McCain say he regrets picking her as his running mate in 2008 is a ‘perpetual gut-punch’ – and claims he’s told her the opposite

      Sarah Palin told DailyMail.com that it’s possible John McCain himself doesn’t believe she was a drag on his campaign

      ‘I attribute a lot of what we’re hearing and reading regarding McCain’s statements to his ghostwriter or ghostwriters,’ she explained

      McCain revealed in his book The Restless Wave that he regretted picking the former Alaska governor as his running mate in the 2008 presidential election

      Palin claims the ailing senator has apologized to her ‘repeatedly’ for the people who ran his failed campaign and the way the Republican party treated her

      She told DailyMail.com that she will ‘choose to remember the good times with him’ even though he appears to have turned on her

      The 81-year-old also admitted that he wanted to pick Connecticut Senator Joseph Lieberman as his VP instead but he was advised against it

      Love this last bit. Oh those darn advisors. If only I had listened to solemn, patriotic, God and America loving ME.

    • rightymouse says:

      Yeah. A real Maverick Dick.

  5. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    He’s ranting right behind me, isn’t he.
    11 hours ago

    No that’s the ghost of George Duke, demanding you pay back the money for the van to his estate.

  6. Octopus says:

    If I had a nickel for every time I’ve said that to you, Gus, I’d have all the nickels. 😆

    • rightymouse says:

      McCain turned into a nasty child when Trump won, as did other RINOS like Jeff Flake and Romney to name just a few. They would have been better off behaving like Gov. John Sununu. He has class.

      • Octopus says:

        Deep State all the way to the grave. Keep the gravy train a-rollin’, and screw the American people. Oops, the people revolted and voted in a real maverick…WAAAAAAHHHHHH!1!

    • Bunk X says:

      Nobody should be invited to a funeral. If you wanna go, you go.

  7. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2018/08/maine-officials-deny-peta-request-to-put-up-tombstone-memorial-to-dead-lobsters-in-highway-crash/

    PETA moonbats: We want to erect a memorial for lobsters who died in a truck roll over.

    Main Officials: Uh no. We’re not erecting a memorial for delicious giant sea bugs.

    I think Chunk should put up a memorial in his kitchen commemorating the boxed frozen salmon he mistreated when he couldn’t figure out how to cook it (despite directions on the box). Such a senseless death. Plus he ended up getting really fat later so eating healthy did him no good.

  8. rightymouse says:

    Lol! 😆

  9. rightymouse says:

    I don’t believe this is Gus. What are the chances Fatso has access to his account & posts crap there?

  10. rightymouse says:

    Am I a bad person for laughing at Fatso over this stupid tweet? 😆

  11. rightymouse says:

    Trump has a rally in Indiana tonight. It’s awesome!

  12. ISTE says:

    Random thought for tonight.

    I need to find a new home for Princess Natasha Katinski and Boris Stroganoff and myself.

    We currently live in Houston and we are doing OK.

    We need a new home…..

    I have a plan.

    • ISTE says:

      At the moment we live in an apartment that is $650 a month, in Houston. Yep, you probably realized that $650 means it is not in the best or safest part of the city.

      Two miles from where I work though.

      I would rather drive 40 miles to work and live somewhere my cats were safe.

      Lease here ends April 2019 then we go live in our dream home in the wilderness of Texas.

      PS fuck the lease on apartment, if I could find a place for us we leave tomorrow.

      • ISTE says:

        Oh and the two cats are not captive. We live on the second floor and the window is always open. They are free to come and go as they please.

        And they do…

    • Bunk X says:

      What does doing Oklahoma mean?

  13. Bunk X says:

    When Charles Johnson Parted.

  14. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    Apparently McCain is still dead.

  15. rightymouse says:

    By the way, Briareus! Thanks for the info on Poke Sallet. Very interesting. 🙂

  16. Octopus says:

    Heading Up North for the Last Weekend. Might be off the grid for a few days. Happy Mocking! 🙂

  17. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    Watching some of this McCain funeral coverage. What an imbecile for turning his own funeral political. He banned the President! Yet Pence is allowed? Um kind of makes it look like the POTUS was too busy. Must inspire Chunky. I can see him banning people from his funeral when no one will be there anyway. LOL!

  18. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    And do I have this right? The Clintons are at the Aretha Franklin funeral and not McCain’s?

  19. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2018-08-31/steele-ohr-secret-2016-meeting-russia-has-trump-over-barrel-explosive-information

    And of course this whole time Comey, Strzok, Roddenstein, Ohr, McCabe, Page, Steele and of course, Obungle were all supposed to be keeping Americans safe from terrorists, murderers, scammers, cons, etc…. Instead they wiled away their days scheming up ways to screw the President. Unshittin’ fucka believable.

  20. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    So Sessions says DOJ will not be “improperly influenced by political considerations.” So is he really saying all you have to do to avoid being charged with a Federal Felony by the DOJ is to be a flagrant political hack? Which means Obungle outsmarted him by making THE ENTIRE FBI leadership political partisans for the Demoncraps and thereby out of reach for being prosecuted for lying to Congress, lying and misrepresenting to a FISA court, illegally spying on a political campaign, violating American’s rights, conducting a sham fake investigation due to partisan bias, mishandling classified information, violating State department policy resulting in classified information being systematically given to China, leaking to the press, other stuff I forgot. It’s really that easy?

  21. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    I usually don’t go for these kind of human interest posts on political websites. But this one, if you don’t tear up and get a little catch in your throat there’s probably something wrong with you.

    https://www.breitbart.com/pre-viral/2018/08/31/watch-georgia-girl-finds-out-she-is-being-adopted/

    BTW I can’t recall EVER seeing any kind of human interest post on LGF. He’ll pretend to care about people in order to bash the right. But it’s clear he feels no empathy for others. Which explains his sociopathic viciousness and vindictiveness.

  22. Bunk X says:

    Heads up, Charles.

    Dear costumer,

    Many of our bank costumers have reported that their debit cards have caught fire while they are in wallets and purses, and so as a precushion we are issuing an URGENT safety recall. This is a matter of the uppermost emergency as your card could create a pocket fire at any given moment, burning your legs and stomach terribly. This is because of a fault in the factory process at our debit card factory in Molton Keynes.

    Therefore, for your own safety and verification, please complete the bottom of this form, and return it with your debit card to the safety manager at the following address:

    Mr Smith
    Barclays Debit Card Factory
    187 Bangalore Lane
    Bangalore
    India
    8NG466271

    IMPORTANT: The PIN number is for verification porpuses only and will destroyed immediately upon a rival. Your private details will not be compromised at any time.

    https://blog.malwarebytes.com/cybercrime/2018/08/liar-liar-pants-fire-barclays-phish-claims-cards-explode/?utm_source=double-opt-in&utm_medium=email-internal-b2c&utm_campaign=EM-B2C-2018-August-newsletter2&utm_content=phish

    • Minnow says:

      I was so lucky that I had seen that email earlier this week. I TOTALLY sent my credit card to Mr. Smith at Barclays. Those people are SO reliable. I mean BARCLAYS!!! (I hadn’t realized that they were now in India too!!!??)

      The weird thing, though, is that I keep getting robo phone calls telling me I have acceeded my credit limit.

      Does anyone know what that means?

  23. Bunk X says:

    Went to WalMart to pick up drugs. I stuck around because they were playing this.

  24. rightymouse says:

    Getting my hair and toes done. Heaven!

    • Minnow says:

      Bill has become a complete slack jaw over the past few years… Every time I see him, his mouth is slack and open and he looks like an idiot.

      Oh yeah. That’s right. He IS an idiot.

  25. Octopus says:

    Heheheh!

  26. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    I think they’re making a big deal about Bubba Grab Azz looking at Ariana because, who doesn’t want to look at her? She’s really pretty and sings great too.

    https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2018/09/wow-video-released-shows-ariana-grande-groped-by-pastor-on-state-at-aretha-franklin-funeral/

    But the resident Rev-ruh-hund Bishop Charles H. Ellis just had to go too far and actually groped her after her song (clearly going for side boob). And now the empty suit dipshit is fake apologizing so he can continue posing as a fake Demoncrap moral leader (oxymoron)

    And if anyone’s seen Ariana’s backyard video with Miley, you know she doesn’t like the forward thing and she will squirm away. Because horny Miley who’s tall and contralto voiced and TOTALLY sexually forward is scary to Ariana ( which is adorable BTW LOL!) But she will evade unauthorized perverts and the “Bishop” LOL is clearly among those and she went squirm mode on him. Showing the true colors (pun) of the Demoncrap black fake liar clergy, he clearly has no respect for white girls. He figured her for a dumbass stripper bimbo and a free feel. Depressing yet not surprising.

    Here’s beautiful Ariana deploying her patented evasion moves (get away, hit the deck, thighs tightly together, pointy feet, time-out hand up….). SO. CUTE. You go girl!! If Miley had nuts they would’ve gotten kicked I think. 🙂

    • Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

      She did give Miley a hug at the end. But just noticed now at the beginning of the video Ariana clearly did not trust her. Her legs are crossed at the beginning and she’s unconsciously grabbing her ankles to lock her legs together with closed body language. While notice Miley is completely relaxed with her legs apart and open body language. I know I should get a life. But having twin girls I watched these two girls grow up. I remember them as cute talented children and yeah, I knew they were going to be super lookers some day. But like my own, I still see them as kids and kind of feel protective of them.

    • rightymouse says:

      Are there hot guys singing that I can ogle???

  27. Bunk X says:

  28. ISTE says:

    I really now appreciate Islam.

    Funerals in Islam (called Janazah in Arabic) follow fairly specific rites, though they are subject to regional interpretation and variation in custom. In all cases, however, sharia (Islamic religious law) calls for burial of the body as soon as possible, preceded by a simple ritual involving bathing and shrouding the body,[1] followed by salah (prayer). Burial is usual within 24 hours of death to protect the living from any sanitary issues,

  29. Bunk X says:

    Fun Facts To Know And Tell:
    Shelby Fredrick “Sheb” Wooley (1921-2003)

    Recorded the 1958 No. 1 hit “The Purple People Eater.”
    Recorded many songs as Ben Colder.
    Was a character actor with roles in High Noon, The Outlaw Josie Wales and many other movies.
    Co-starred as scout Pete Nolan in the TV series Rawhide.
    Credited as the voice behind the Wilhelm scream stock sound effect heard in hundreds of movies and countless TV shows, but received no royalties from it.

  30. Bunk X says:

    http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-in-and-out-donations-20180830-story.html

    Saturday nights mean junk food and Netflix for the missus and I. I’m tired of pizza, so guess what we’re going to be chowing down on while watching “Lost In Space.”

  31. Chunk’s pannus says:

    Jeez. Watching the replay of Serena beating the snot out of her sister at the US Open. Wow. All business.

  32. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    Serena’s butt was unwatchable because she was wearing this poofy kind of dress. So I was actually checking out Venus because she had on this kind of baby doll type top with just shoulder strings. Her bewbs were quite sweaty and bouncing all over and I was noticing what a lovely 38 yr old woman she is. And of course respecting her TOTALLY for being a huge icon of women’s achievement and sports.

  33. ISTE says:

    I hate holiday weekends.

    12:14am Sunday and no need to resume normal life until 8am Tuesday. Loads of beer and food left.

    But…. I have done all the internet, and Youtube ..

    Really having trouble finding things to do, or watch.

    LOL

  34. Octopus says:

    This Dad copying his daughter’s pose is hilarious. 😆

  35. Octopus says:

    Well…there’s you. 😆

  36. rightymouse says:

    Go back to sleep, Gussy!

  37. rightymouse says:

    It’s PARTY time! Hubby’s at the airshow downtown. I’d rather poke my eyes out, so am home watching over the pooch.

    For Labor Day, we’ll be grilling steaks later! 🙂

  38. Octopus says:

    😆

  39. Bunk X says:

    $8,615 of $20,000 goal
    Raised by 206 people in 40 months (since 6 May 2015)
    Charles is about 30% of those people.

    365 “shares.”
    Charles is about 100% of those people.

  40. rightymouse says:

    Like a stopped clock. 😆

  41. ISTE says:

  42. Octopus says:

    The AC died here on the old hacienda— we might live through the night. Muggy! 😦

    • rightymouse says:

      Was very muggy here too but it rained & it’s still muggy. Got AC. Sorry about your AC. 😦

      • Octopus says:

        It was brutal, like Calcutta last night. I barely slept. With no pj’s, I mean.

        The Guy is supposed to be here to make fix between 8 and noon today, with a high of 90 forecast, and Peak Humidity. I’ll be at the air-conditioned office until things cool down.

  43. Bunk X says:

    No AC here, but we have leftover German potato salad and bratwurst. Should I shave tomorrow?

    • Octopus says:

      I’m going to shave just as a token of my membership in civilized society, which includes AC and heat in the winter. Hi, Gus!

      • Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

        That’s good because the whole visual of you with the beard yet naked and sweaty with no AC is frankly disturbing and possibly a scene from Altered States.

        • Octopus says:

          It’s all good, though. 🙂

          • Bunk X says:

            Bunkessa met a girl with a series of small mystic symbols, told her the tatt looked like graphic laundry instructions. The girl said she gets that comment a lot.

            Bunkessa showed up this past weekend with a small tattoo on her right forearm. Actual laundry symbols.

    • rightymouse says:

      How can you live in SoCal without AC? HOW???

      • Octopus says:

        I can’t live in Moderate Michigan without AC. The house is back down to a livable 68, praise Lord Freon. We already had the hotel picked out, in case The Guy couldn’t fix it today. Thankfully, it was just a slow leak he found and fixed, and topped up the frosty juice. Phew!

      • Bunk X says:

        5 miles from the beach gives us some nice off-shore breezes, and there’s about a mile of open space immediately south that doesn’t block it. A couple of weeks a year we eat it, so we have wet t-shirt & fans days.

  44. Octopus says:

    Yeah, that’s about right. Run him against Zombie Hillary, Handsy Biden and Fauxcahontas for the nomination. Popcorn time! 😆

  45. Octopus says:

    https://dailycaller.com/2018/09/03/flint-water-crisis-clinton-campaign/

    Flint Water Crisis a huge crock of crap. Thanks, Shrillary. 😆

  46. rightymouse says:

  47. rightymouse says:

    Rahm Emmanuel isn’t going for a 3rd term and may run in 2020 for Prezzident. Too funny! 😆

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6131033/Chicago-Mayor-Rahm-Emanuel-wont-seek-3rd-term.html

    • Octopus says:

      BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!1!!!!1!!!!!

      What a joke! Given his horrific record as mayor, he couldn’t run for dogcatcher in Dogpatch, San Francisco. 😆

      Game over, Rahm. Find a new line of graft.

  48. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/bob-woodwards-new-book-reveals-a-nervous-breakdown-of-trumps-presidency/2018/09/04/b27a389e-ac60-11e8-a8d7-0f63ab8b1370_story.html?utm_term=.10d93854b92c

    This is a fucking scream! I had a boss like Trump once and she became one of my favorites. She didn’t have time, like Trump to figure out every little insecure putz who’s suddenly working underneath. Sorry Princesses, and that goes for the military guys too, you are no longer the prettiest girl in the room. YOU NOW HAVE TO DO A FUCKING JOB! So fucking do it and quit whining like a CNUT. The one guy’s like Trump says get us out of NAFTA. What part of GET US OUT OF NAFTA DO YOU NOT FUCKING GET?????? These people in high gubmint jobs have never actually had a boss that holds them accountable. And they’re crying like babies to fucking loser Bob Woodward. They think they’re making themselves look good. When the rest of us see they just don’t like having to work. And now the left and the press are going to try to sell that common sense is insanity. Fuck off.

    • Octopus says:

      I just watched NBC News flogging this absurdist claptrap like it was the Scoop Of Our Lives. I laughed harshly, and switched over to “Naked And Afraid — The Bunk Strutts Camping Trip In Hell.” Very entertaining. 😆

  49. Octopus says:

    https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=112465167

    Every word that is used to describe a particular group of people must eventually be termed, “Racist AF,” and stricken from politically correct conversation. I heard a funny discussion of “oriental” the other day, between two Chinese people, which eventually led to them condemning the word “Asian” as being similarly vague and dehumanizing. Asian is going to go the way of oriental, wait and see.

    In other news, “black” is back, and “African-American” is now considered unhip by many young urbanites and older blacks who never got the memo in the first place. Also, never say “hispanic,” but use “latin” instead, for at least the next two weeks. 😉