In Other Words, Charles Foster Johnson Doesn’t Know Dick.

Charles F. Johnson was served with divorce papers years ago, and those papers likely included a “Non-Disclosure Agreement” It’s a binding contract, where both parties agree to shut up about whatever they agree to shut up about for whatever reasons, even if it has to do with pissing in plastic soda bottles that once contained Mountain Dew. It’s nobody’s business except for the two parties involved, and it’s perfectly legal.

It’s also perfectly legal for anyone to settle lawsuits and disputed debts, whether or not that person is thinking of / or running for office, as long as the money is transferred from private accounts and not from campaign financing. This is common law, but Charles Johnson, self-anointed federal judge, claims it’s illegal. It’s not.

Charles, you signed a Non-Disclosure Agreement with Atari, yeah? What would have happened had you violated that binding agreement by releasing platform code? Probably nothing since Atari went blooey once you showed up. Awesome work, Charles.


148 Comments on “In Other Words, Charles Foster Johnson Doesn’t Know Dick.”

  1. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    If I see that creepy fucker Barrett Brown start showing up on TV, my head may explode.
    5 hours ago

    Chunk is a useless puke who stands for nothing and never did. All he EVER wanted to do was monetize blogging so he didn’t have to go out and work music gigs with people who ALL KNEW he ripped off the great George Duke.

    ( that has some great shit in it including comments by Chen Zhen, Natasha, (our own) garycooper and Buzzsawmonkey and including Barrett himself.)

    Creepy fucker Chunkles? You welcomed him and encouraged his drug fueled anarcho anti-American and anti-capitalist brand of gonzo journalism. He was in good standing at LGF. You thought he was the new HST! And you were going to make BIG BUCKS off him. LOL. He was gonna give you interesting content. Since he can actually better write completely blottoed on heroin way better than you can cold sober.

  2. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    Trump’s tweet on South Africa landed on target triggering the current racist government to scuffle in defense of their feckless, desperate grab for other people’s stuff ostensibly for “just redistribution”. But really just low brow vindictiveness and frustration of not being able to crack that darn white people nut of success. So might as well terrorize and brutalize them for fun if not profit.

    A WSJ report claims Tucker Carlson’s report is “misleading”. But the reality on the ground in SA, despite US leftist dreams of a socialist rainbow Utopia is actually a nightmare of SJWs getting their way and the resultant daily atrocities aka “Farm Murders”. Here’s a recent documentary on what’s really happening.

  3. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    Here’s a vid that gives a more balanced perspective on South Africa. And shows how the blacks are suffering and living in horrible conditions and are therefore more desperate and willing to throw out any qualms of decency or empathy. And are therefore easy prey for crooked political opportunism. People who most likely just want power and riches and could care less about economic justice.

    • Octopus says:

      I hate to say it, but it looks like the forces of evil will have their bloody way in SA, just as they have in every other African nation. Apartheid was wrong, obviously, but the remedy will be worse for everyone involved. Tribal warfare mixed with race war, think Rwanda, think Cambodia, etc. A thug-dictator will emerge to rule over the carnage. Whites who stay will be picked off gradually, as the most visible targets. See: Zimbabwe.

  4. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    • Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

      Watch out Chunk!

      • Octopus says:

        Trust in Karma. 🙂

        • Your karma ran over my dogma.

          • Octopus says:

            Our two dogmas were up all night last night, with the diarrhea and teenaged-angst (Henry). He starts barking if a mouse farts three houses away. If one dog’s up, they’re both up and wanting to go out, see what’s happening. Who woke up to take care of them, the past two nights? Yes, you guessed it — the little woman. Who’s not happy. When the Mama’s not happy, ain’t nobody happy. 😯

          • Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

            Ha! My wife usually hits the hay before me and does NOT want me to let them out at night after around 11. But as you know, they will sometimes suddenly go ape shit making high pitched wimpering noises until I open the door. Sometimes they just need to take a whiz. But often will start barking at shadows in the woods. And that of course wakes up the wife.

          • rightymouse says:

            We’re taking care of our son’s doggy until she’s trained well enough to go on the road with him. She’s great at night. Mostly. When she’s not, she whimpers on MY side of the bed to go out because hubby is snoring his brains out on the other side. Mommy isn’t happy either when that happens. 😦

          • Octopus says:

            Your husband SNORES?! Oh, the horror. The outrage! Not him, but the accusations!!1!!!!

            I have also been unjustly accused, and I feel his humiliation and pain. Especially when I’ve had a few drinks, the Inquisition-Wife nails me to the wall with strident accusations. Personally, it’s not even close to fair blaming the hubby for snoring while he’s asleep. He has no control over this, and he’s earned his fair respite from judgement, unless he hasn’t worked or brought home the bacon, in which case, kick him the hell out of bed! Donkey-kicks, or whatever it takes.

          • rightymouse says:

            Octo…you know what’s weird? Hubby’s snoring is really LOUD! But when I nudge him & he barks ‘WHAT?” and I say “you’re snoring”, he usually yells back “I’M WIDE AWAKE, HOW CAN I BE SNORING?”. I’ve threatened to record him and he glares and snarls “YOU DO THAT!”. So sensitive!!!

          • Bunk X says:

            “You’re snoring.”
            “You’re dreaming.”

  5. Octopus says:

    This is classic. I’m an Eternal Optimist, which entails knowing about the Dark Side O’ Life.

  6. Octopus says:

    What time are we drinking, today? I’m thinking pre-five-ish. 🙂

    • rightymouse says:

      As soon as I get home from doing the grocery run after work. About 6ish. 🙂

      • Octopus says:

        That’s a good time. I just found out I have dinner plans with the brother in AA. I’ll just have to white-knuckle through that. (j/k)

        Lions preseason football tonight, as we prepare for another horrendous, soul-stealing season of suck. Sure, there are promising signs — there always are. Just like you hear the beautiful songs of the Sirens, right before you crash on the rocks and drown. Do we fall for it, after a lifetime of Siren Lucy yanking the football away just as we plant ourselves for the winning FG? You must be kidding! Of course we do.

        • rightymouse says:

          Got home early and am enjoying a drink. Groceries are put away and am changed into grubbies. Life is good. 🙂

    • Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

      That sounds about right. Gin and tonics.

      • Octopus says:

        I think I’ll start with a Moscow Mule. We still have three bottles of good ginger beer in the fridge, from a springtime party. Summer’s almost gone, so we need to clean out the old stock.

        • rightymouse says:

          I’m doing bourbon & sweet tea. Have no idea what it’s called. 🙂

          • Octopus says:

            How about, “Putin Bay Iced Tea?” Because, Russian Collusion, and other things. 😉

          • Octopus says:

            I had a couple of my own beer creations, one called “Novocaine” that was deliciously strong, and another called “Razzy,” that is very raspberry and also quite strong, being finished in the brewing process by champagne yeast. Also, I had a shot of whiskey from the Bulleit Bourbon bottle. The Lions game is being delayed by rain, which is ridick for football, but that’s in keeping with all things ridick that apply to this Bobby Layne-cursed franchise.

  7. This. Is. Awe. Some.

    • Octopus says:

      That’s beautiful. 😆

    • rightymouse says:

      Made my day! 😆

      • Octopus says:

        I know it’s just make-believe, but I think she would hammer those toads in a very similar fashion if she could. I love this gal. We have not seen her like, and will not see another as tough and brilliant, I would think. She should be celebrated, while the Idiot Left tries to think of new ways to attack her.

  8. This guy is ALWAYS a must-read;

  9. Octopus says:

    Like this is a bad thing. 😆

    The Cass Corridor has been a horrific chunk of blight since the Sixties Riots, home to the worst predators, drug gangs, serial killers (mostly black hookers killed), and other folksy denizens of Urban Nightmare. You’d think the city would be jumping up and down, shouting “Hallelujah!” Instead, we’re treated to grumpy complaints about bums having to move out of buildings that have been stripped of all copper and other semi-valuable metals and fixtures, so the buildings can be rebuilt and stocked with paying customers. BOO-FUCKING-HOOO!!1! Also, Hallefuckinglujah. 🙂

    • Octopus says:

      Note: two blocks away, the low-rental types can find better or same lodgings for the same price they’ve been paying. The gentrification is in its infancy in that part of the city. I have this on good authority, from a guy who buys and sells real estate down there.

  10. Octopus says:

    A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables. And when he picked up a jewelry box to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying:

    “Jesus is watching you.”

    He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, then clicked the light on and began searching for more valuables. After just a few seconds, clear as a bell, he heard:

    “Jesus is watching you.”

    Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

    “Did you say that?” He hissed at the parrot.

    “Yep,” the parrot confessed, then squawked, “I’m just trying to warn you.”

    The burglar relaxed. “Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?”

    “Moses,” replied the bird.

    “Moses?” The burglar laughed. “What kind of people would name a bird Moses?”

    Suddenly, he felt a giant shadow materializing behind him.

    “The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus.”

    • rightymouse says:

      LOLOLOL! Son’s dog is a Rottweiler mix. Terrific guard dog. 😆

      • Octopus says:

        “Good Dog Carl.” That’s how I always think of Rottweilers. Unless I’m thinking about the time one of my high school hockey teammates tried to break up a fight between his neighbors’ two Rotties, who were fighting each other to the death in his eyes, and got all chewed up in the process. Both dogs ended up being put down, tragically enough. Nobody ever figured out why they decided to fight, after growing up together. 😦

        (probably some bitch) (j/k) (no, but really)

        • rightymouse says:

          It cost us over 2K for dog trainers. They did a good job but we still put her shock collar on her when we have people over – just in case. Rotties can be unpredictable.

  11. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    Looks like Fox News is down.

  12. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    @realDonaldTrump Was it only two months ago that President Hapless Moron declared that North Korea was “no longer……
    1 hour ago
    Was it only two months ago that President Hapless Moron declared that North Korea was “no longer a nuclear threat?……
    1 hour ago

    Was it only two full terms that Preezydunce Obungle allowed North Korea to develop nukes and regularly test missiles close to Japan whenever they felt like it?

  13. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    Yahoo Lifestyle featured this story “Drive-in ‘sex boxes’ for prostitution, built by taxpayers, are a wild success in Switzerland”

    It describes and pictures a seedy drive in container box looking facility where you can have a “sex worker ” (aka pathetic whore desperate for drug money) get in your car and have sex with you (aka pathetic ugly loser tired of jerking off). At the end of the article Yahoo Lifestyle has this:

    Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter for nonstop inspiration delivered fresh to your feed, every day.

    How inspiring.

  14. rightymouse says:

    A Gussy retweet. The thread is hilarious. Donks can be so weird when it comes to Hillary. They were just as weird & hypocritical with Bill back when too. Go figger. 😆

  15. windbag says:

    So, what are your weekend plans?

    • Octopus says:

      I love this song. The only drugs I take anymore are Advil, coffee, some weak supplements and an occasional alcohol binge, but I relate to the Feeling. The Supersuckers are one of my favorite all-time bands.

      • Octopus says:

        Rock music is evil, my friends. They used to say jazz was the Devil’s Music, but they were mistook. All along, it was the evil beat and suggestive wordmusics of rock that would drag everyone to the sulfurous pits of suffering.

        • Octopus says:

          This video popped up, after I watched ze wango, ze tango. What a beautiful performance. I saw Lynyrd Skynard that year in our outdoor shed, and they were magnificent. Then they crashed their plane, not long after. Celebrate their spirit!

          • Octopus says:

            Another band I saw that summer outside after I graduated. Damn, the music was good back in those days.

          • Bunk X says:

            This came out about the same time. These were the wheedlywheedly years.

            Zappa mocked the style, where a guitarist (like Chuck) works down the neck in a frenzy and eventually throws his head back in a simulated orgasm of guitar solo ecstasy. He called it “Spoo.”

          • Octopus says:

            That’s THE classic spoo!

  16. Bunk X says:

    Gilbert Gottfried’s rant is awesome. [NSFK, NSFW]

  17. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    Another great pop song.

    I remember this came out when I was twelve. There was a girl named Jackie I had a crush on. She was very tall (taller than me), had glasses, freckles and red hair. Very lovely slim girl. She was friends with several girls in my neighborhood that kinda liked me. Before I hit puberty I looked like a girl with rock star hair and a comely face. So I had some confidence she might like me. I made the idiot joke about this song to her “Jackie Blew”……Ha ha. She just about took my head off. LOL! Then I hit puberty not long after and I remember one girl who used to “like” me said “If only your face would catch up with your nose”. 🙂 What doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger.

  18. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

  19. Bunk X says:

    The secret 4-chord progression.

  20. Octopus says:

    I hate your sports. I hate the music you like. I don’t believe in your religion. I don’t believe in your atheism.
    1 minute ago
    I don’t care about your idols. I don’t adhere to your ideas. I don’t listen to your thought leaders. I hate your music.
    2 minutes ago

    On the other hand, I hate your weed! The Mexicalis cut heads off. The Afghanis stone people to death.

  21. Bunk X says:

    Snooker is croquet on a pool table.

  22. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    A typical CNN anonymous source. A Clinton liar lawyer.

    It’s been clear for years that their idea of journalism is to find some biased hack to make up lies consistent with the libturd narrative.

  23. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    Sacred Riana. Freaky magic.

    • rightymouse says:

      That was really creepy! 😯

      • Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

        I like how she never, ever leaves character. She really had the judges creeped out. A really great and novel act. One thing I know from working on cruise ships is magicians have to be skilled at misdirection. They will use techniques that hypnotists use often times moving their mouths so you suddenly aren’t watching their hands. Her head and arm ticks I think serve that purpose along with making her look like a creepy horror movie character.

        • Octopus says:

          Saw her get eliminated the other night — I really think she was just too creepy for the show. 😆

          • Chunk’s pannus says:

            I think she’s so cute. And glad she got the exposure from the show. That girl (and her troop) are going to make a fortune every Fall around Halloween! She won’t have to work the rest of the year. She’s creepy good!

      • Bunk X says:

        Dang! She did the key trick! I spooked a lot of people with that one.
        No gimmicks involved, just muscle control and knowing where to put the key on your palm.

  24. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    Turns out is was all bullshit. They never checked all those emails.

    If the FBI “soft-pedaled” the original investigation of Clinton’s emails, as some critics have said, it out-and-out suppressed the follow-up probe related to the laptop, sources for this article said.

    “There was no real investigation and no real search,” said Michael Biasello, a 27-year veteran of the FBI. “It was all just show — eyewash — to make it look like there was an investigation before the election.”

  25. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    PC libtarded morons at sponsor company fire their race car driver for something his father allegedly said before he was born. His father is saying the comments weren’t even his, they were misattributed to him. And his father has now lost his job as a radio racing analyst in Indy.

    I think it was the N word which is a very taboo word and should never be spoken. Oh wait, just by a rap album and here the word about 50 times a minute. But blacks are offended if anyone else ever uses even if they aren’t using it to denigrate a black person. Of course it’s perfectly OK for Rap artists to call women white or black BITCHES all day long. Artistic license and all.

    • Octopus says:

      The Left is still trying to give the Unicorn Messiah credit for Trump’s booming economy. It’s hilarious!

      • rightymouse says:

        I saw my liberal boss yesterday & he wanted to give Obama credit for the economy & I bust a gut laughing. He then looked rather sheepish. 😆

        • Octopus says:

          One of the deadly ironies is the way they were still blaming Dubya for the awful economy Obama was presiding over, into the UM’s second term! 😆

  26. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    And this doesn’t even mention that those emails were on sex predator Weiner’s laptop under a file called “Insurance”. Clearly he either stole them from Huma’s laptop or using her access to State dept’s email system. Or she agreed to put them there. Either way one or both of them committed a federal crime. And yet neither has been charged with anything.

    And the label “Insurance” clearly means anti-Arkancide policy.

  27. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    Taking bets on the FBI has since lost all the emails and the laptop had an unfortunate accident involving a steam roller.

    • Octopus says:

      That was an exhilarating read — sure hope it all comes out.

      Right, Fatass? You’re looking forward to the Big Reveal, aren’t you?

    • rightymouse says:

      Brutal. It also explains a lot and helps me deal with some of the disquieting impressions I’ve had of Argento and Rose since Bourdain’s death.

      • Octopus says:

        I knew she had gotten caught cheating on Bourdain right before he killed himself, and I was skeptical of the “open relationship”-story they were floating, but now I think everything about her is bullshit. I didn’t realize she carried on a consensual sexual relationship with Weinstein after he supposedly tongue-raped her. Weinstein is a pig who took full advantage of his position and power over young wanna-be starlets, and he was fully supported by pals who knew everything he was up to, such as Streep and Oprah. A LOT of young females were willing to trade sex for roles, obviously. There’s a story out now in the gossip rag about how Lindsay Lohan has offered to help fill the void in Harvey’s life, in exchange for any help he can give her dormant career (basically prostitution at this point).

        • Chunk’s pannus says:

          Seems like it was toxic all around. Ultimately she can’t be blamed for AB’s mental state. People are frail and make mistakes. They shouldn’t have to worry their lovers are going to kill themselves over some minor stepping out. I frankly didn’t like him much. But I didn’t wish him dead. And I wish that he could have had that famous last love that made him want to continue on. It’s possible the disillusionment of her infidelity contributed but by all accounts, he’d been teetering on offing himself for years. He was both depressed and cynical by nature. It was practically his brand. If he did it because she was unfaithful then it’s a selfish act of punishment.

  28. rightymouse says:

    Some laffs….

  29. rightymouse says:

    John McCain has died and the liberals seem united in their hypocritical eulogies lauding him.

    • rightymouse says:

      Am laughing at Gussy ‘ s
      slobbering Tweets

      • Octopus says:

        I’m quite sure there’s a few sentient conservative types, as we speak, compiling some of the hideous attacks on McCain from the presidential campaign. The one he conspired to lose, or so it appears now. I don’t respect the man’s legacy. He served well as a soldier, and then he became a corruptocrat, mired in Deep State bullshit. RIP to the soldier-part of him, and screw the rest of it.

  30. Octopus says:

    Stephen King made sure his draft-deferment was in effect, by staying in school. He has a fat lot of nerve saying anything about anyone else. 😆

    • Octopus says:

      Did King vote for McCain for President? Fuck no! Somebody find me some rip-jobs from that period — I don’t feel like battling this phone tonight.

      • rightymouse says:

        Here’s one:

        • Octopus says:

          She seems nice.

          • rightymouse says:

            I don’t ‘get’ people like Griffin at all. She’s in the public eye. I would think that she’d want to be known as a reasonable, likable person. Not some profane, disgusting bitch.

          • Octopus says:

            She’s filled with ugliness and bitterness, inside and out. Before her political turn, all she did was rip on celebrities more popular than herself, with her “life on the d-list”-schtick. It got old fast, especially once Jacko died.

      • rightymouse says:

        Huffpo then:

        Huffpo now:

        • Octopus says:


          That’s the stuff! I’ve been laffing hard at the Left’s warm embrace of McCain today. The disconnect is off the charts.

          • rightymouse says:

            Me too! 😆
            UNREAL!!! 😆

          • Octopus says:

            Do they have any memory retention, or are they purposely and cynically setting those aside in order to take shots at Trump?

          • rightymouse says:

            Trump as POTUS has made liberals forget EVERYTHING they have said about McCain before now. That’s how dishonest they are.

          • Octopus says:

            Chunky’s ridiculous two-faced turnaround on this man is a perfect microcosm of the Idiot Left’s hypocritical nonsense. Now he’s deflecting by concentrating on, guess what? Teh Nazis!

            Now seven Nazis..
            31 minutes ago
            @js_ascher Yes, it’s that famous right wing humor.
            39 minutes ago
            @stlredbirds85 You obviously haven’t encountered very many Nazis.
            40 minutes ago
            Now six Nazis.
            43 minutes ago
            This post has drawn out five Nazis so far, defending Chuck C. Johnson. So even though I had to correct it, that’s five more Nazis blocked.
            43 minutes ago

            😆 😆 😆 😆

  31. rightymouse says:

    Oh, brother.

    • rightymouse says:

      Back in the days when McCain was running for President & Fatso (who was pretending to be on the right) didn’t like McCain.
      2008-01-29 17:00:50
      I’ve been leaning toward Giuliani, so me not happy monkey. Me no like McCain. Me lukewarm toward Romney.

      • Chunk’s pannus says:

        And then a few weeks later his brain fell out, he “broke” with the right and all Repubs were Nazis thereafter.

  32. rightymouse says:

    Nobody gets mad at you, Gussy. Disappointed or amused perhaps. 😆

  33. Octopus says:

    Savor the introspective moment. Real change may yet be possible!

  34. Octopus says:

    How long will the shitshow/charade be allowed to continue, before the Feds have to go in with a big net and straitjacket for Elon? The only reason it’s gone on this long, is due to the massive investment by American taxpayers who were not consulted by the Obama administration — even now, nobody wants to kiss all that money goodbye. Not even me, and I know the venture is doomed.

  35. Octopus says:

    Relax, son. You’re alone, and you have the DT’s. Have a small drink, hit the pipe, and you’ll be right as crooked rain.

  36. Octopus says:

    He’s rubber, you’re glue. You silly fat fuck! 😆

  37. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    No. Here’s Maverick. He didn’t give a shit what liberals thought of him.

  38. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

  39. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says: