Charles, You’re a Spaz.

Breaking News: Ex-Saturday Night Live Face is Charles Johnson’s GO-TO Source. Do you hear your credibility being siphoned down the Kohler, @Green_Footballs?



251 Comments on “Charles, You’re a Spaz.”

  1. Pakimon says:

    Chunkles found a clue!

    He was all set to breathlessly tweet, “If you look real close and squint, you can make out MAGA embedded in a swastika!!” before his idiocy was pointed out by a fellow TwitterWarrior. 😆

    Chunkles is not only a spaz, he’s an imbecile.

  2. Pakimon says:


    *Cartoon blatantly stolen borrowed from Ace’s comment section

    • Abu penis penis penis lol says:

      LMAO. Thanks, Paki.
      An aside, I’ve been reading Ace of Spades for well over a decade but started reading the comments for the last few months. Great fun but time consuming. I’m intimidated to join teh horde. Was wondering if you comment there?

      • sven10077 says:

        Nothing to be intimidated by, hop in.

        The horde is what it is.

        • Octopus says:

          It’s like jumping into a fast-moving, shallow river. Difficult to have a real conversation, unless you have peeps who look for you and respond to you down the raging rapids. A lot of braggadocio, too. Occasionally, some brilliant asides.

    • Bunk X says:

      Cartoon blatantly lifted and forwarded to others with no attribution whatsoever.

    • Bunk X says:

      Show that to Democrats and they’d agree. Change the word “right” to “left,” show it to Republicans and they’d agree. Either way, Independents would ask, “What country are you referring to?”

      • Octopus says:

        Some alternate universes going on around here, Bunk. I had a weird convo with a guy on Quora this afternoon, that made me realize we may never see eye-to-eye with our political “enemies” again. It’s a multiverse, and even those of us who are trying to look at things from different perspectives are struggling mightily.

  3. Minnow says:

    Can anyone imagine if this crap had been even whispered about Obama – who truly WAS (is) a megalomaniac? All we would hear (all we DID hear) was how the Right is a bunch of racist Nazis.

    Cry me a river, you whiny little babies.

  4. Octopus says:

    Jon Stewart, Seth Meyers, Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, Samantha Bee…all the heavy hitters of the New Journalism, taking Trump down with broadsides every night!

    Meanwhile, his popularity continues to climb, as his policies continue to reap dividends. It’s incroyable! 😆

    • Dezez157 says:

      “Trump’s Gratuitous Cruelty”
      All those red hot pokers, car batteries and those salt encrusted razor blades.
      Chuck, you really are one vapid imbecile.

    • Octopus says:

      What Colbert is actually whispering in Jon’s ear: “You really pulled hard on my ear today, when I was blowing you.”

      (Colbert has a deformed, sticky-outy ear, in case you haven’t noticed)

  5. Dezez157 says:

    Oh he so wanted to tie the symbol to nazis, when he found out it was tied to the Japanese anime, he felt somehow vindicated.

  6. Octopus says:

    No, Fatass. You have that trophy nailed down tight, for the 10th year in a row. Dust off a spot on the old mantelpiece for it.

    • Octopus says:

      Chunky’s idea of a death threat is the neighbor calling the city because the bunker’s grass/weeds/garbage dump is over two feet tall. 😆

  7. Octopus says:

    Song of the summer, so far. 🙂

    • Bunk X says:

      I can’t stand country pop. Same predictable chords, they won’t take the time to rhyme lyrics, and they exaggerate an accent that they don’t use in conversation.

      • beed says:

        Lazy lyrics, melody and singing, but some good guitar. It’s like a soundtrack to a date with ISTE.

        • Octopus says:

          Country’s not exempt from the Universal Law Of 90% (90% of everything is crap), and it’s formulaic, repetitive and pretty bland. Once in awhile they get the formula just right and a great sing-along song emerges. 🙂

        • Bunk X says:

          A date with ISTE includes drinking un-carbonated aie, eating lobscouse with chips and listening to homosexual skiffle bands. You already know this.

          • Octopus says:

            I’m there for the Nightwish. Once more, unto the breach!

          • beed says:

            Well, yes. It got weird, and I had to go anyways, so I got up, gave him a polite ‘thanks and goodnight’, and as I was walking through the door, he shouted something like “wait, we haven’t gotten to the part I like to call ‘Jiffy Lube’ yet!”. By then I had made it to my ‘87 Corolla and the idea of going back inside and sit on that mayo smeared couch again was not appealing, so I never did, but I’ve wondered ever since: What could have been?

          • Bunk X says:

            Beed, everyone here has asked himself / herself the exact same questions, but it’s better not to dwell on it. It is what it is, and so is ISTE.

          • Octopus says:

            My sources tell me the “Jiffy Lube” involves Jif Peanut Butter. “Choosy Mothers Choose Jif.” He’s a choosy mother, I guess.

  8. Octopus says:

    What the hell is he babbling about? Oh, I see.

    They don’t carry Sterno. 😦

    • Bunk X says:

      Heard it’s about150°F in Denver. Gus needs a homemade swamp cooler.

      • Octopus says:

        That’s pretty hi-tek for Gus — I’ve seen designs that don’t require any soldering or hot-glue, which is preferable in this case. Drunky would burn the garage down.

        Hard to believe it was only a few months ago he was complaining so much about the cold we had to razz him with this kind of stuff:

  9. Octopus says:

    1. NBC
    2. Anonymous sources
    3. I’m calling bullshit on this one, based on the fact that it’s indistinguishable in nature from every anti-Trump load of BS the MSM has coughed up in the past two years.
    4. Naturally, Chunky is all over it, as is HuffPo and Media Matters. 😆

    • OLT's Ring Given Freely says:

      10,000% agree.

      Knowing what half of the officials in the FBI are like in private on Goobermint time, it shouldn’t be too difficult to find a “U.S. Official” (maybe a Congressional aide to Maxine Waters – someone must go out and buy her Depends) to say something about Trump with no evidence displayed. Hell, we could even save money by just lying like this. bBy NOT buying the fake Russian “dossiers”, we’re saving tons of money – why go to the trouble and expense? Just lie and get all your buddies to lie with you. Oh, wait, we already have that “Journolist” thing, too!

  10. Pakimon says:

    Another day, another round of peevish honking and sputtering over a Trump tweet.

    I’m glad Chunkles and his fellow progtards are too stupid too realize that Trump makes it a point to fire off such tweets just to “trigger” them into hysterical bouts of insane shrieking and sniveling. 😆

  11. Pakimon says:

    The more that the proggies oink and squeal their hysterical nonsense, the more normal and non-moonbatted members of the democrat party decide to hit the eject button and bail out.

    I’m looking forward to the midterms this fall. The shrieks and howls induced by progtard massive stinging butthurt will be deafening yet beautiful. 😆

    • Octopus says:

      They are good and gutted, Friend Pak. Here, have a glass of Schadentears and Plymouth Gin, while reading another grieving libturd’s moaning jibba-jabba:

      This was the most gutting month for liberals in half a century
      Todd Gitlin, The Washington Post
      Published 8:00 am, Friday, June 29, 2018

      The left has known demoralizing, mind-bending, gut-wrenching times more than once in my lifetime. Within the space of two months in 1968, Martin Luther King Jr. and Robert Kennedy were murdered, and with them the wild hope, or the impossible dream, that equality could, without much interruption, continue its onward march through the institutions of American life. Within two weeks in the spring of 1970, President Richard Nixon announced an invasion of Cambodia; then, when millions took to the streets, National Guardsmen killed four protesters at Kent State University. Ten days later, police opened fire on a dormitory at Jackson State College, killing two students.

      History didn’t end, though in 1969, Attorney General John Mitchell did tell a reporter: “This country is going so far to the right you won’t recognize it.” Watergate postponed his agenda. The left could count the postponement as a victory.

      Anyone looking for comfort today can note with satisfaction that those grievous days passed. Mitchell’s prophecy was deferred. Backlashes against civil rights, feminism and gay rights did not set us back to square zero. But they were crushing – an emotional fact, if nothing else. If you were paying attention, you felt that all bets were off. Anything horrible was possible. Living in such a time takes a toll. Despair was my incubus then, and I was not alone in the feeling.

      Still, one has to go back almost half a century to find a month like the past one, so devastating to the left and its values. Consider that immigrant children taken from their parents at the border are still penned up. (On Tuesday, Attorney General Jeff Sessions joked that many critics of this policy live in gated communities and would want intruders arrested and “separated” from their children.) Consider the Supreme Court’s ruling that the nonunion beneficiaries of public-union contracts can legally refuse to pay for the work the union did to win the benefits. Consider the court’s decisions to uphold gerrymandering and voting rights restrictions, to permit “crisis pregnancy centers” to stand mute about the option of abortion, and to allow whole populations to be banned from our shores. Consider the White House trial balloon that suggested the government could consolidate safety net programs to make them easier to slash.

      What’s at stake with the prospective Supreme Court justice decision? According to NowThis Senior Politics Producer Allan Piper, everything. There are nine Supreme Court justices, and for a long time, four were generally liberal-leaning, four were generally conservative-leaning, and one was a swing voter. Under this system of Justices, marriage equality was passed, Obamacare was upheld, and the Voting Rights Act was struck down — all with a final vote of 5-4. Needless to say, the swing vote has been an imperative part of almost every major Supreme Court decision in recent years. When Senate Republicans blocked President Obama from appointing a Supreme Court justice of his choosing, this didn’t change the dynamic up at all, because a conservative judge was replaced with another conservative judge. But with the retirement of Justice Anthony Kennedy — the who system will potentially shift dynamically. It could also entail a lot more conservative-leaning rulings for the next several decades, which is bad news for women’s health rights. Trump has promised in the past that he would elect a judge to overturn Roe v. Wade — and if he succeeded — there are 14 states where abortion could become illegal automatically. The judges could also shape civil rights, voting rights, workers’ rights, and LGBTQ+ rights for decades — suffice to say there’s a lot at stake. This video, ” What’s at Stake With the Supreme Court? Everything “, first appeared on

      Then consider the coming replacement of Justice Anthony Kennedy with a more reliably right-wing justice. Perhaps now the aspiring autocrat in the White House will have a Supreme Court majority to help insulate him from Robert Mueller’s investigation.

      One gut punch after another leaves progressives reeling. We search for appropriate language: disaster, catastrophe, calamity, or – to quote recent presidents – a thumping or a shellacking. “This Has Been The Best Week For Trump But The Worst Week For America,” reads a HuffPost headline. Sen. Jeff Merkley , D-Ore., called Kennedy’s retirement “a disaster for everyone who believes in the ‘We the People’ vision of the Constitution.”

      The souls of democrats, particularly older ones, have been tried before. The left has long since known to question any assurance that – in the words of the abolitionist Theodore Parker, as amplified by Martin Luther King Jr. – the arc of the moral universe, however long, bends toward justice. The Depression years were full of stretches when the arc bent the other way, not least during the onslaughts of Hitler, Mussolini and Franco and the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact of 1939. But if you came of age after the Cold War, if you had faith in “a change we can believe in,” how confident will you be now in the destination of that arc?

      Yet even before the past month, in the face of force majeure, the left was regrouping. Resolutions to organize, not mourn, poured forth. The #Resistance is hot and lively. Energy unleashed by the women’s marches and other national rallies has morphed into strong showings in special elections. Silver linings can be found. It’s good for morale that the left has a new hero in 28-year-old organizer Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who in Tuesday’s Democratic primary in New York thumped the 10-termincumbent, Rep. Joseph Crowley, an establishment liberal, by 57.5 to 42.5 percent.

      Ocasio-Cortez has grabbed the spotlight because she’s not only young and nonwhite, she’s local. Republicans have shown what can be accomplished at the grass roots by quests for power, however tedious, however incremental, however banal. Since 1980, they’ve had their eyes on Washington while legions of ’60s radicals were marching on the English department. Even today, campus activists are thin on the ground in swing election districts. During the 2010 midterms and the elections of 2016, the right reaped enormous rewards from decades of local work. With the benefit of lavish campaign spending by plutocratic front groups, they won statewide power over the decades. Deploying redistricting and voting rights restrictions, they turned that power into an electoral college advantage over the popular-vote majority in six out of the past seven presidential elections. Their power is structural.

      Perhaps the evidence that national politics is rigged for the right reinforces the view that America was foredoomed from the days of the slave trade; that racism and nativism are unwavering, foundational, even insuperable; that Barack Obama’s kind of change cannot, in the end, be believed in; that efforts to win over the moderate are silly; that confrontational moves are the only ones that feel authentic. In an emergency, they will say, incrementalism and politics as usual are irrelevant. Be blunt and direct. Denounce the secretary of homeland security at a Mexican restaurant. Ask Sarah Huckabee Sanders to leave. (Predictably, she tweeted about the indignity to win martyrdom points.)

      With passions so high, theatrical gestures can feel like shortcuts, or substitutes for reaching and mobilizing the unconvinced. Even so gratifying a result as the election of a Latina democratic-socialist organizer from the Bronx can tempt the unwary to think her model can work anywhere. It would not have prevailed against Roy Moore in Alabama’s Senate election.

      The challenge for a left that wants to win power is existential as well as strategic and tactical. If you were gobsmacked by Trump’s ascent, the question is whether you can, in the words of the civil rights anthem, “keep your eyes on the prize, hold on.” The prize is not won by wishing, however vehemently. The center is equally challenged: Can it cohabit with the left under a big tent?

      Not surprisingly, the words of the radical labor organizer Joe Hill, about to be executed in 1915 by the state of Utah for murders he did not commit, frequently come to mind: “Don’t waste any time in mourning. Organize.” Hill’s imperative may look, to a skeptic, like pablum and happy talk. And it’s true, the time is past when optimism can be justified by naive faith. The left once felt – often foolishly – that it owned the future. Now it struggles to own a chunk of the present.

      Still, this is not a simple moment dangling in time, severed from the past and the future. It is not the end of days, though it may smell that way.
      – – –

      Todd Gitlin, a professor of sociology and journalism at Columbia University, is the author of 16 books, including “The Sixties: Years of Hope, Days of Rage

      😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆

      • OLT's Ring Given Freely says:


        Consider the Supreme Court’s ruling that the nonunion beneficiaries of public-union contracts can legally refuse to pay for the work the union did to win the benefits.



  12. Minnow says:

    Wow, the photo of Melania now on Drudge REALLY looks like she is miserable because Orange Grandpa Nazi Asshole etc. etc….


    Seriously, she looks mighty happy in that photo…

    Good for her. Good for The Donald.

    Hey Charles, or Barry, or whatever your name is…. kiss my ass.

  13. Octopus says:

    I have mixed emotions. The girl is only 13, probably too young to sing a song about rampaging sexual energy. On the other hand, she kills it. And Jerry Lewis married his 13-yr-old cousin. And Juliet, of “Romeo and Juliet” fame, was only 13 in Shakespeare’s play. So, maybe somebody should alert the authorities. 😯

    (keep her away from Simon)

  14. Octopus says:

    Sidebar mine. Thankyew ver’ much. 😆

  15. Octopus says:

    I’M SO STOAKED!!1!

    And it make you feel so good.
    1 hour ago
    1 hour ago
    1 hour ago
    1 hour ago
    Whatever. It’s cool.
    1 hour ago
    Stone free! Though.
    1 hour ago
    Rolls eyes.
    1 hour ago
    I am stoaked.
    1 hour ago
    Whatever. Man.
    1 hour ago

    • Octopus says:

      Shortly after Monterey, Redding died in a plane crash. Stax Records went bankrupt soon after, when they discovered Atlantic Records (ATCO) owned the rights to all of Redding’s music, including “Dock.” This is to inform you, that shit happens in life. Even if you cool as hell.

  16. Bunk X says:

    Congrats on your full sweep of the sidebar, Octo.

  17. Dezez157 says:

    “My echo chamber is busted”

    Poor little cry babies.

  18. Bunk X says:

  19. rightymouse says:

    Made it to Bangkok. 🙂 Hot as blazes, but having a grand time.

  20. Chunk is stuck on his couch and can't get ! up!! says:

    Fun retro derivative stuff from Nottingham, England:

  21. Chunk is stuck on his couch and can't get ! up!! says:

    And another take on the ;7

  22. Chunk is stuck on his couch and can't get ! up!! says:

    Another take on the ‘70s era. From about 20 years ago. Time keeps on slippin… Is that Tony Alva blasting full air off the coping? I think it is!! From Skateboarder mag no doubt.

  23. Minnow says:

    The Donald is such a badass dude and it makes me smile to think that all of the deadbeats in the world hate his guts.

    Losers – every one of them.

    Oh – hey Charles… take your Nazi nonsense and shove it right up your poop chute… bra’….

  24. Octopus says:

    True Fact: People who are truly deranged have no idea they are deranged. They project their own insanity onto the rest of the world. Ipso facto, this tweet from Fatass. 😆

  25. Octopus says:

    Chunky has never swept the bunker out in his lifetime. The spiders in there are at peak levels of population, to the point they are a self-regulating, self-consuming web of creepy cannibalism. Much like the Swamp these days.

  26. Octopus says:

    “Make him shut up! He keeps saying things I disagree with! Why oh why must I be forced to listen to deranged Nazi political propaganda?!”

    Calm down, Chunky. Ben is a Never Trumper. You should listen to him and find common ground on some things, at least. 😆

  27. Octopus says:

    Nothing gets past you, Oh Great Safeway Seer! She’s a hawt piece of Justice Democrat, and she promises Free Everything To Idiots. The perfect candidate for NY in 2018.

  28. Dezez157 says:

    Yup, Chuck is losing his shit, he really does think everyone is supposed to be a hate filled loser, just like him.
    Don’t worry fatty, you still have your Archie comic books to read.

  29. Minnow says:

    ….and now, the Mescans have veered off to the Left (WAY Left).

    Don’t worry Mesco, Uncle Sam will bail your sorry asses out I am sure.

    • Octopus says:

      I think they were looking at the great success of Venezuela, and couldn’t help themselves from yelling, “Hold my cerveza! AIIYEEEEE!”

      Good luck with that, neighbors. Stay on your side of the wall. 😆

    • Bunk X says:

      The Mexiclans have had enough with the corruption and anarchy, so they’re voting for tyranny. There will be mass incarcerations and slaughter, and things will quiet down. Then the drug cartels will step in.

      Mexico will be destroyed within 10 years…
      …and we’ll wish we’d built a fence.

  30. ISTE says:

    Well, it is one minute past midnight here and I was just casually looking at available jobs in this area.

    This one made me laugh!!!!

    WTF? A Bilingual forklift operator?

    Bilingual (Mandarin) Forklift Operator

    Are you an experienced forklift operator looking for a new warehouse position? Do you like thrive in a warehouse environment? We are looking to fill a Forklift Operator position, Mandarin/English speaking a plus, located in the SW Houston area. Our great distribution partner is looking for skilled forklift operator, must have 1 year prior forklift experience.

    I have/had a forklift licence (don’t know if it is current)

    I speak Mandarin, well as much Mandarin as you need to know when operating a forklift.


    • Bunk X says:

      So they have a forklift that doesn’t speak English. Hunh.

      • ISTE says:

        LOL Bilingual is often a requirement in Houston.

        But it is usually another language.

        Mandarin? 🙂

        Note to the love of my life, I am trying buddy.

        • OLT's Ring Given Freely says:

          SW Houston, big Asian shopping district. Lots of wholesale. Lots of trucks and containers.

          We used to get the kids a cheap bike there occasionally. The boxes were covered in insanely hilarious mistranslations and misspellings (I got in trouble so many times for reading outloud). Or cheap imitations of the cheap imitation of some name-brand toy. Like Go Tickle Yourself Mo, etc.. My darling wife once decided that we would hold a child’s birthday party outdoors, so we trooped dutifully along behind her and purchased little blow-molded tables and chairs with delightful stickers of wide-eyed anime-like children and fancifully-colored yet equally wide-eyed animals. And choo-choos, for some reason. Absolutely as sturdy as they looked. That was one for the ages.

          • ISTE says:

            That area is about two miles North of where I live.

            Street signs are in Chinese.

            I may go there for lunch on 4th July.

        • Bunk X says:

          You’ll be safer there. You’ll blend right in.

  31. Bunk X says:


  32. Dezez157 says:

    We are all doomed now, The ClusterChuck has found our souls!

  33. Octopus says:

    60 Seconds Of Sports-Hate

    It’s bad to wish bad things on other people, but I hope Lebron breaks his leg sometime early in next season, and the whole disgusting spectacle goes kablooey in LA. I mean…read this article, and try to contain your vomit:


    After spending two decades around Kobe Bryant as his agent and friend, Pelinka saw how obsessed the Lakers legend was with improving and constantly searching for new ways to find any advantage he could get over his opponent. It was Bryant’s curiosity that in part inspired Pelinka to create the Genius Series.

    “I remember one time [Bryant] called me and was like, ‘Have you ever seen the way a cheetah attacks its prey? Like when it is hunting down a wildebeest?'” Pelinka said. “He said, ‘I have really been thinking of ways to creatively change some of my movements and noticed that there was this incredible beauty in how a cheetah uses its tail to balance itself when it jumps in the air.’ And he said, ‘I have been moving my foot in different ways, almost like the tail of a cheetah, to learn how to have proper balance when I am shooting my fadeaway jumper.'”

    Pelinka also wants to see his players develop diverse interests off the court, much like Bryant, who became an Academy Award-winning filmmaker (animated short category) after retiring. It’s why the Lakers GM — who constantly is reading up on what made some of history’s most successful figures like Leonardo da Vinci tick — organized team field trips to Broadway’s “Hamilton” and Musk’s SpaceX, where Walton and his players were surprised to see how young many of Musk’s brightest rocket scientists are.

    Musk was asked by one Lakers player what his take is on preparing for his competition.

    “Like the mad scientist in the lab, he looks down and shuffles and is pondering the question,” Pelinka said. “And he said, ‘Well, I know if I am making the greatest rockets in the world, and if I am making cars that can do things that no other cars in the universe can do and drive themselves, be powered by the sun, the competition becomes irrelevant to me.

    That last sentence had me on the floor, laffing. I can’t wait to see Lebron on the floor, holding his leg and grimacing, while I laugh cruelly.

    That is all. Back to being a decent person. 🙂

  34. Dezez157 says:

    Bwhahahaa, God told her to march, come on Chuck you 2 faced tub of grease, call her an idiot!

  35. Dezez157 says:

    Chuck has done his research, He watched a Stephen Colbert monologue.

    • OLT's Ring Given Freely says:

      Stalker Charles is still butthurt about not being recognized as one of the founders of the burning Stoopid Wing of the Democratic Party.

      • Dezez157 says:

        He maybe upset that he upchucked all those blue-cheese olives he scored from from that dumpster into his disposal unit and having to call a plumber.

        • Octopus says:

          Not since the “dumpster lasagna”-episode of “Workaholics” have we seen such gastric distress. 😯

  36. Octopus says:

    Last night Gus declared in a terse tweet about the ongoing rescue efforts, “They’re all dead.” Turns out to have been a moment of Chunky-esque Wrongness. 😆

    • Bunk X says:

      Okay, that’s cool. Thank God they’re safe. The question is why did their idiot adult coach think it was a good thing to do in the first place?

      • Bunk X says:

        Yeah, that was a stupid comment for me to post. Apparently the cave is popular, doesn’t flood often.

        • ISTE says:


          British cave divers found them!

          Not mentioned much on American MSM

          • Bunk X says:

            The thing that gets me is the desperation those kids must have felt, and the Coach had to talk them down while thinking that they were all likely to die. How do you pass the time in a situation like that?

            Same with the miners in Chile.

            Others aren’t as fortunate…

          • ISTE says:

            It is an international rescue. Many countries involved.

            Fuck politics.

          • Bunk X says:

            The USS Liberty was rescued by the USSR.

  37. Octopus says:

    Problem with socialism, is that you always run out with other people’s money. 😆

  38. ISTE says:

    My new project.

    Getting my GED

    At age 60

    • Minnow says:

      right on. piece of cake for you…..

      • ISTE says:

        No not really…

        The English part of it I am going to fail.

        English and American English is not the same.

        Plan is… I use “the force within me” to answer all the math etc questions and I then totally ignore my inner being when it comes to the “English language” questions.

        I have been in the USA 21 years, I think I can now do the bilingual English/English thing.

        • Abu penis penis penis lol says:

          Permit me to jump in and say you are a learned man and should be fine. Good luck!👍

          • Bunk X says:

            Did you get that, ISTE? I think that AbuPPPL just mocked you to your face. RIGHT INTO YOUR FACE. Let’s you and him fight.

  39. ISTE says:

    Sometimes I am an asshole.

    I have to admit that last week I sent an email to others I work with and even though the email program we have spell checked me I over rode it.

    Labor was Labour, Color is Colour, and it went down hill from there….

    • Octopus says:


    • Minnow says:

      On a certain level, one does wonder why you think you need to do the GED thing…. From what I can see, I would say that you have carved out a niche in the world that few others are capable of. There is something (frankly) badass about breaking all of the rules and succeeding just the same.

      My sense is (despite the colour of your labours) you would do alright GED-wise… but maybe it isn’t even worth it.

      just food for thought….

      • ISTE says:

        GED is requirement to do a course at Houston Community College.

        I probably graduated with the equivalent in 1976 in England but how do I prove it?

        To take GED is about $150

        When I got my green card I had to have a full medical exam and had to prove my vaccinations were current.

        No way could I do that. Records were in UK, I was in USA.

        Easy and cheapest was to be re-vaccinated for everything again.

        Forget how many it was but when I had it done they put a few in one arm, a few in the other arm and I got the last ones in my ass,

  40. Octopus says:

    Well, look at it this way, Fatass: according to you, we’ve already hopelessly fucked the planet, and billions are going to die any day now. Surely in the next six years of Trump’s two-term Presidency. So, why sweat the small stuff? Have a Chimay, and suck on a salmon popsicle. Enjoy what little time we have left. 🙂

  41. Dezez157 says:

    Thats right cluster Chuck, dive head 1st into that pile of s**t.

    • Octopus says:

      That’s right, Chunky. Socialism is the Next Big Thing. Gonna be yuge. It’s never been done properly, but this time we’re gonna do it up right. 😆

      ….did Chunky suffer a severe closed-head injury when he fell off his bike, or did Pam hit him harder than we ever suspected? 😯

      • Abu penis penis penis lol says:

        Bike accident caused by fascist winds multiplied by weight gain augmented by a divorce.
        Where to begin?

      • Dezez157 says:

        She out Bernied Bernie Sanders with her free stuff promises, so naturally Chuck thinks awesome.
        Chuck is now a Bernie bro by proxy.

  42. Abu penis penis penis lol says:

    ISTE = Iced Tea
    Never noticed that.

    • Octopus says:

      Ever noticed Ice-T’s wife, Coco?


      • rightymouse says:

        YOU ARE SO NAUGHTY!!! 😯

        • Octopus says:

          Coco’s the naughty one! That bikini would fit into a peanut shell. 😆

          — Your Humble Reporter

      • ISTE says:

        I know about the American flag.

        Looks like if her thong has a failure we just lost Delaware, Pennsylvania and New Jersey

        Three states gone in the blink of an eye….

      • Bunk X says:

        That’s some heavy duty photoshop. Why is everything below her hoohahs tan and everything above not? Everything is oily and shiny except for her face, and the shadows are squirrley. OTOH, her right sternocleidomastoid is awesome.

  43. Octopus says:

    Nice piece from Kurt about the Never Trumpers — forgot he used to be one. I didn’t jump aboard immediately, either. It wasn’t until he’d made it clear by winning resoundingly in so many primaries, crushing his mealy-mouthed competition, that I took a closer look at him. Then it was all about stopping Shrillary. I never expected Trump to be such a Promise Keeper, and to continue slapping the Idiot Left around so effectively. This is all gravy. 🙂

    • rightymouse says:

      Amen! I was for Ted Cruz and Carson initially. When Trump easily out-Alpha-Maled every other leading contender, I knew Hillary was burnt toast. 😆

  44. Octopus says:

    This is kinda freaky. There are two tracks playing, both of crickets, but with one slowed down to match the lifespan of the average human, rather than the very brief cricket existence. They have to sing fast! Do they hear themselves at the slower speed? Who wrote this music? Would it be enhanced with a little surf-noodle jazzy geetar? (no)

    Want to hear something magical? Experimental director, composer and playwright Jim Wilson recorded the sound of crickets and then slowed down the recording, revealing something so amazing. The crickets sound like they are singing the most angelic chorus in perfect harmony. Though it sounds like human voices, everything you hear is the crickets themselves. There are two tracks, one is played at regular speed and the other is the slowed version. The singing you hear are the crickets only. No instruments or voices were added.

    “The first time I heard it… I swore I was listening to the Vienna Boys Choir, or the Mormon Tabernacle choir. It has a four-part harmony it is a swaying choral panorama. No effects have been added of any kind except that they changed the speed of the tape. The sound is so haunting. I played it for Charlie Musselwhite and he looked at me as if I pulled a Leprechaun out of my pocket.” Tom Waite.

    Originally recorded by Jim Wilson and David Carson in 1992, Jim slowed down the original cricket song to match and mirror the lifespan of the average human being. The result is a work that induces an atmosphere of peace, serenity and healing, all courtesy of Mother Nature’s Crickets.

    • Bunk X says:

      I listened to some of that this morning. It creeped me out and fascinated me at the same time. My morning commute was strangely serene. My commute home was pure hell.

    • Chunk is stuck on his couch and can't get ! up!! says:

      I didn’t think it was creepy. It was really nice. And I thought it definitely sounded like a boys choir at the slowed down pace. It’s stunning that the intervals sound like well thought out chords and progressions sung by cherubic voices when slowed down to a speed proportional to our life span vs. theirs. If I were a devout Creationist I might put this on my short list of proof of a Supreme Being along with flagellas and retinas. But I am not. LOL! But for someone who’s spent more than one evening’s attempt at sleep trying to find and kill one of these little fuckers that says something. The sheer energy and power they put into the chirping clearly indicates a a high priority evolution has placed on the quality of the sound production. Like cicadas it is apparently imperative that they make the proper sound to the proper audience. Each creature is a tiny bio/chemical robot but as a group functions as a kind of ancient insect mind honed over hundreds of millions of years for success. And higher primate’s sleep schedules and project deliverables be-damned. 🙂

      • Octopus says:

        Yeah, all that. It’s really something, when you think about it. I remember camping out in a friend’s backyard that backed up to a big meadow, and the crickets were loud as heck that night. Almost couldn’t sleep. The only nature-night-party that compares is the frog pond next to my bro-in-law’s place Up North — the frogs aren’t synchronized like the crickets, but they do get into some wild harmonies punctuated by deep gospel frog shout-outs and some splashing. I like the frogs, but some people find them very annoying.

        If the crickets hear the singing at the slower speed, and are participating in this heavenly chorus, that’s downright freaky. 😯

  45. Octopus says:

    So precious!

    He’s a professional whorenalist. 😆

  46. rightymouse says:

    Am having a ball here in Bangkok except for the traffic which sucks. Hubby, son and I had dinner with colleagues from the US refugee office where we all worked back in the late ’70’s, early 80’s. Awesome friendships that ignore time.

  47. Octopus says:

    Fatass retweeted:

    We’re right here, Molly, loving every second of it! You go back to advising your Georgian political hacks, and let us worry about European butthurt. THX! 😆

  48. Octopus says:

    ISIS Communique #12,476 — Erm, perhaps we should reconsider the posting of imminent jihadi slaughter-of-infidels plans on the social media outlets. Much as we need and desire to spread the good word about upcoming bloodbaths, there are still forces arrayed against us in certain countries, such as the Great Satan, USA. We are examining alternatives feverishly, at headquarters. Unfortunately, headquarters has to spend most of its time running from missile attacks that seem to come out of nowhere. Please do not contact us directly, as such communications are nearly always followed by a missile within mere minutes. Allahu Akbar!

  49. Octopus says:

    Rahmen Noodles takes a break from organizing the Chicago community ( to blurt out some proggie/judicial Sturm Und Drang:

    Pining for Merrick Garland…ah, yes. Pining for Al Gore, the crazed sex-poodle. It’s heart-rending. 😆

  50. Octopus says:

    Has Chunky tweeted out any of Tom Arnold’s glurge? Seems like a natural fit. 😆

  51. Octopus says:

    So, Alan…what have we learned about your liberal-elite ex-pals? Care to expound on their basic personality tendencies?

  52. ISTE says:

    Wednesday night in Houston. I decided to get a takeaway meal tonight. As you know Natasha and Boris are free to come and go 24hrs a day.

    There are street vendors just outside the gates of my apartment complex.

    I live on the second floor. So when I went out to get food Natasha and Boris came out with me and sat at the top of the stairs.

    I got two chicken empanadas and a salad. $4 I gave the nice lady $5

    When I got back to the apartment they were both at the bottom of the stairs. They both looked at me but diddn’t follow me up. I stood there at the open door and yelled “chicken, CHICKEN!”

    Still they just sat there…..

    A side note, we do not eat much chicken, too difficult to cook. So chicken is not in our human/cat language. “Treats” and “Catmeat” and “Tummy Tickle” and even “Fresh Water” are but “chicken” is not.

    Then out of desperation to get them in I yelled “Pollo!!!”

    Both of them came running up the stairs at very high speed and into the house.

    I laughed my ass off.. Obviously a neighbor is feeding them this “pollo” thing.

    I am the proud owner of two bilingual cats!

    (P.S. for those that do not know “pollo” is Spanish for “chicken” )

    Made my day.

    • ISTE says:

      Boris is strange… When he sleeps it is on the floor preventing the bedroom door closing.

      • ISTE says:

        Notice the “Alarm Tail” positioning? Across the doorway?

        You try leaving the bedroom at 3am in the dark to go pee.

        You is going to tread on the alarm tail……

        I wish I had more time left in my life to really study cats.

        Or I wish I could be as they are. Don’t give a fuck most of the time but when the shit gets real (as in a spider needs killing) cats give a thousand percent effort. Then they sleep for three days.

  53. Minnow says:

    things I miss….

    John Carry sniffing arrogantly….

    Hilliary in one of her sexy pantsuits….

    Preezy Obambi taking a selfie of his seff….

    Joe Biden, fondling a five year old girl….

    Harry Reid, fondling himself….

    among others…..

    • ISTE says:

      You need beer and Nightwish.

      That will help you on your path to recovery.

      • ISTE says:

        Now, where does my crazy mind go after posting Nightwish and Nemo?

        The Harp Metal version.

        And you are all thinking Harp Metal??????

        I thought the same…..

        I am now off exploring things I never knew existed.

        Life IS GOOD.

  54. ISTE says:

    Life is great, day off tomorrow.

    I however have to get my shit back together by 10:30am tomorrow as I have a lunch date.

    But tonight I can let go, YEAh!!!!!

  55. ISTE says:

    Tonight is not going to end well.

    Watching Thunderbirds.

    Season 1 Episode 1

    This was my childhood.

    Crawling along the floor pretending to be Thunderbird 2 with a cushion taped to my belly then letting it go.

    Cool shit and amazing machines were in the pods

    The Mole was awesome, My favorite,

    Virgil was my hero…

    • Bunk X says:

      Write up something for Independence Day. We’re overdue for a new thread, and you know more about US History than almost anyone here. Meanwhile, I’m going into the swamp.

      • Bunk X says:

        *blub* *blub* *blub*

      • ISTE says:


        well the video I posted was the first episode of “Thunderbirds”

        A British TV series using puppets as the characters. Notice all the hero puppets had American accents. That is because in the 1960s America was regarded in England as being an awesome place to live.

        Thunderbirds, Stingray, Fireball XL5, and many more British produced science fiction TV shows.

        In the 1960s in Britain any science fiction TV shows always were USA themed,

        Well I do not want to be provocative but after Britain assisted the USA in the development of nuclear weapons then was cut off from the research and Britain then had to go it alone was disgusting.

        Britain did develop their own nuclear weapons eventually. But even to this day the warheads are British but the delivery system is Trident.

        Since the end of the second world war the American and British relationship has been “We work together” then “fuck you”

        For one third of my life I have lived in the USA,

        For half of my working life I have lived in the USA.

        My allegiance and my loyalty is slowly transitioning from the country I am from to the country I live in.

        So, In answer to your question “Write up something for Independence Day. We’re overdue for a new thread, and you know more about US History than almost anyone here.”

        The people who were born in the USA live here and do not really understand things.

        However people like myself made a decision to move to the USA because we want to be here.

        Being honest I am not sure I want to be a citizen. Not going to throw away my nationality just to get welfare, a pension etc.

        I like being a Green Card holder, I pay taxes, I understand I have to be law abiding in order to be a guest in the USA. I cannot vote, but that is OK.

        Well Bunk, so you have maybe a new post. There are some people legally living in the USA that are paying taxes but expect nothing back from the “system”

        • ISTE says:

          Clarifying this.

          I am a green card holder, I have a SSN and I pay taxes.

          I have all the rights and privileges and obligations as a United States citizen except one.

          I cannot vote.

          • Bunk X says:

            I was thinking more along the lines of “DuPont saved your asses because Franklin asked him to ” kinda stuff.

          • Suki Wong says:

            Bunk asked you to do something, like re-edumacate us citizens again why the 4th of July is not just a day to BBQ, he never asked you to answer a question.

          • ISTE says:

            OK Suki Wong

            Forth of July.

            The reason to celebrate it has become forgotten.

            In fact it was just a random date later celebrated in modern times. The 2nd July 1776 was more significant

            On 4th July 1776 several British subjects that were currently living in a British Colony signed a document. Declaration of Independence

            However it took many years before the USA was truly an independent country.

            But as in all things history needs a date,

            Just as the Battle of Britain day is regarded as being on 15th September 1940 when every aircraft Britain had that could fly was in the air, But the war lasted many more years,

            4th July 1776 was NOT independence day.

            It was the starting date of the slow process to gain independence.

          • Bunk X says:

            The starting date happened about 10 years earlier, but I’m too exhausted to post a new thread this late in the morning.

          • Pakimon says:

            I think it’s spelled “foreth”.

    • Pakimon says:

      I think it was James Mason’s childhood as well complete with crawling on the floor. 😆

  56. ISTE says:

    Let me once say again. In 1812 Britain was still kicking ass and taking names in the USA,

    Granted Britain was in the USA fighting the French while the newly “independent” Americans were just bystanders,

    Closer to home, with just 23 miles of water separating Britain from France a REAL war was being fought. Britain was busy,

    People of the United States of America, just remember this fact. If Britain had not been fighting in the USA for you in 1812 you would now all be speaking French,

    • rightymouse says:


    • Pakimon says:

      I feel compelled to ask that people of Britain and France just remember that if the United States of America had not been fighting in Europe for you in 1918 and 1942 -1945 you would now all be speaking German.

      Or Russian.

      Your welcome. 😀

      • beed says:

        If Sweden hadn’t decided to leave you alone in “the act of non-aggression towards the North-Americas” in 1859, you’d all be speaking borgyborg by now.

        • Pakimon says:

          Sweden isn’t leaving us alone.

          Sweden is undermining the very fabric of America using those diabolical IKEA stores where they brainwash unsuspecting citizens with helpings of Swedish meatballs!

          I plan to counter this insidious Swedish plot on this Independence Day with copious amounts of meat seared and charred over an open fire then doused in BBQ sauce and served with homemade baked beans and apple pie!

          But first… beer! Lots and lots of cheap, rank AMERICAN beer! 😀

          • beed says:

            Quick, jug those beers.


            The Guardian of the Swedish Plot

          • Octopus says:

            I love those meatballs, with the delicious lingonberry (no such berry exists) sauce. I want to go to IKEA tomorrow and pick up a couple of bags. I eat them frozen, in the dark.

  57. Octopus says:

    Anti-American glurge on the Fourth? Me no rikey! Somebody needs to be chased down the street with a Roman candle firing fireballs at his Limey ass. 😆

    Happy Independence Day! Kicking those redcoated assholes out of the country was the best thing we ever did, besides saving the world a number of times. USA! USA! USA!!

  58. windbag says:

    Is Chuckles on this hot story? It sounds like something right up his alley, given his sleuthing skills.

  59. Pakimon says:

    Nothing says 4th of July like blowing stuff up with fireworks!

    As an aside, I’m glad “The Swedish Act of Non-Aggression Towards the North-Americas” of 1859 was enacted because otherwise we would all have a borgyborg accent like the narrator in the following video. 😆

  60. Dezez157 says: