Charles Johnson opines on Grotesque Buffoons, Death-Grip Handshakes & Charles Johnson

“Can WE do both?” asks Charles The Organizer, and goes back to greasing his Mossberg.


Shaking hands with Charles Johnson would be like squeezing a nerf ball coated with beef suet.


Who’s talking about a land war in Asia, Charles? And how in hell can a Nancy with fake eyebrows give a “death-grip” to anyone?

Yep. That’s some cutting-edge “News Aggregation” right there. Stalk much, Charles? #Rumpswab


157 Comments on “Charles Johnson opines on Grotesque Buffoons, Death-Grip Handshakes & Charles Johnson”

  1. Octopus says:

    So many belly-laffs in this piece. Watch the “Portlandia”- clip, too — it’s precious. 😆

  2. Minnow says:

    …meanwhile, Charles has the handshake of a dead carp

  3. Octopus says:

    Sez the unemployed begging buffoon, who spends every waking hour on Twitter. 😆

  4. Octopus says:

    Orange Hitler Vs. Yellow Hitler: Who Will Prevail?

    This is a truly momentous meeting that will shape history. I hope Trump understands the stakes. I’m pretty sure he does.

    Hoping for him to fail will be the Idiot Left, including the ever-more-insane Bobby DeNiro. He embarrassed himself again last night:

    • rightymouse says:

      I saw the video & had to just roll my eyes at the libturds standing to applause his childish, totally inappropriate outburst. Unreal!

      • Octopus says:

        At least there were a few people there who were embarrassed and disgusted by his childish tantrum.

  5. Octopus says:

    Go to bed, Gus. It’s Monday morning, and you’ve been drinking all night. 😆

    More fucking morons.
    15 minutes ago
    Whatever. Fuck the navy.
    15 minutes ago
    What a bunch of morons.
    16 minutes ago
    What a stupid country.
    17 minutes ago
    I don’t care about you anymore.
    20 minutes ago
    America is like a fucking idiot country.
    22 minutes ago
    Americans are stupid.
    23 minutes ago
    SU-30s can kill F-18s like snacks.
    25 minutes ago
    I don’t care anymore. The military wants to suck Trump cock. Fuck them.
    26 minutes ago
    You’re a waste.…
    28 minutes ago

    • rightymouse says:

      Gussy can’t figure out whether to be riled up all the time or chill on booze & pot.

      • OLT's Ring Given Freely says:

        I had no idea a drunken Argentine loser was also a fighter pilot.

        The things you learn from Twitter.

        • rightymouse says:

          He must have been kicked out of the Air Force when he got drunk & crashed his F/A-18 and blamed it on a Russian Sukhoi SU-30.

          • Octopus says:

            He prides himself on his knowledge of aviation, does Garage Boy. Not sure where or how he claims to have earned this expertise. Perhaps by osmosis?

          • OLT's Ring Given Freely says:

            I theorize that on his dumpster food collection route lies a person that does NOT keep their copy of Aviation Weekly.

            Which Gus-Gus devours word-for-word, and then uses for “other” purposes.

            Which explains why he’s so cranky; it actually is butthurt.

  6. rightymouse says:

    Love the post, Briareus! Trump lives in Fatso’s head 7/24 and when he takes a break from whining about him, he stalks people like Chuck Johnson.

  7. Octopus says:

    Oh, I can’t stop laughing. 😆

  8. Octopus says:

    June 11, 2018
    Today’s Word Is Optics
    So anyway, there’s a large, rather lavish room in which wealthy and statusful people are giving each other prizes. Then, rather incongruously, a particularly wealthy and statusful person steps onto the stage and shouts “Fuck Trump!” At which point, the other wealthy and statusful people rise to their feet, applauding, and whistling, and cheering. As if something terribly brave had just taken place.

    And those doing the applauding, and whistling and cheering, seem oblivious to the message being sent by this display. Specifically, that “Fuck Trump!” translates as something like: “Fuck Trump and all of the people who voted for him.” Some of whom, perhaps many of whom, may have grown tired of being openly and gleefully disdained by people much richer and more statusful than themselves, their self-imagined betters, and who may find their only obvious recourse to such disdain is to vote for Donald Trump again.

    Via sH2 in the comments.

    Posted at 13:15 in Anthropology, Politics, The Deep Wisdom of Celebrities | Permalink

  9. Octopus says:

  10. Octopus says:

    Meanwhile, back in Mogadishu (MN), things have taken a scarifying turn. Maybe a couple of special agents can be taken off the Trump-Russia investigation to look into this?

  11. OLT's Ring Given Freely says:

    I can read specs out of Jane’s Aircraft, too, Gus-Gus.

    But then again, I have an advanced degree in aerospace engineering and understand what they mean (and don’t mean).

    BTW, planes are built, but the pilots are supplied separately. Ask one of your bumtown friends if training makes a difference – I bet there’s a dozen fighter pilots down there, along with 3-5 Napoleons.

    • Octopus says:

      Eddie Rickenbacker stops by for a quick handie, once in awhile. Looks good for his age. Until he opens his mouth. 😯

  12. Dezez157 says:

    Trump. “It’s fake news”
    Left wing loons. “The 1st amendment is under attack”
    NPR. “The meeting with NK is historic”
    Left wing loons. “Destroy the the freedom of the press!”

  13. ISTE says:

    Well, I thought I had seen it all on the Internet, but no….

    Do you see the outrage that IHOP changed its name to IHOb and is now serving burgers?

    People are going nuts on Twitter.

    Even Wendy’s and Burger King are getting in on the action!

    And 99% of tweets about this name change do not get it.

    LMAO at all the dumb, stupid people out there….

    • ISTE says:

      IHOP has not just started serving burgers, this is a publicity stunt to make people aware they do serve burgers and they have a new menu.

      IHOP burger menu from 2014 via the wayback machine.

      So now the whole world knows IHOP has awesome burgers.

      In 2014 it was a surprise to me when I went in one evening because I craved an eggy breakfast.

      • Bunk X says:

        My first job paid $1.65/hour scrubbing pots at Perkins Pancake House, later IHOP. I was the best pot scrubber they ever had. I made 10-year old carbon-encrusted cookware look like new, and they never appreciated it, so I moved on to making asbestos-based building products.

        • Octopus says:

          I go to IHOP when I crave piles of delicious pancakes, with blueberry and other exotic flavors of syrup. There are already dozens of burger places out there, battling for the burger buck. I think this is a really dumb corporate move that will go over like “New Coke.”

        • KGB says:

          In high school and college, I enjoyed a lot of 2AM Perkins pancakes. Just delicious. Unfortunately, our Perkins is now a Denny’s (nee Sambo’s). The pancakes don’t match up at all.

  14. rightymouse says:

    History is being made today. Fantastic!

  15. Dezez157 says:

  16. ISTE says:

    Watching what is happening in Singapore.

    Reminds me of when I watched Apollo 11


  17. Dezez157 says:

    Peevish troll is peevish.

    Have you looked at your followers or in a mirror Chuck?

  18. Bunk X says:

  19. Octopus says:

    Go listen to a whiny scrunt doing an NPR Tiny Desk concert, Fatass. That’ll make you feel better. 😆

    • rightymouse says:

      Fatso is sooooooooo butt-hurt! 😆

      • Octopus says:

        Not sure his butt has ever been this hurt, since Pam gave him the stiff-arm. The pain of that shot radiated right through his body, from his forehead to his posterior, much like lightning will find the path of least-resistance. His ass has been literally on fire ever since.

        Wait until Trump announces his next project, “Peace In The Middle East.” Hoo, baby! The Left will have to renounce civilization completely, and go off the grid to live in the woods, away from Fox News. 😆

  20. Octopus says:

    The Left is going to eat itself today, as the Singapore Summit produces a signed pledge of denuclearization. OMG, I can’t wait to read the spin-doctors as they try to salvage some scorn for our great President. 😆

    Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un Sign Document for ‘Complete Denuclearization’ of Korean Peninsula
    North Korea leader Kim Jong Un and U.S. President Donald Trump sign documents after their meetings at the Capella resort on Sentosa Island Tuesday, June 12, 2018 in Singapore. (AP Photo/Evan Vucci)(AP Photo/Evan Vucci)
    11 Jun 20185,879
    President Donald Trump and North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un surprised reporters with an unscheduled signing of documents after their summit in Singapore on Tuesday.
    The two leaders appeared in a room decorated with flags of both countries for the signing ceremony.

    “We’re both very honored to sign the document. Thank you,” Trump said shortly.

    Kim said that the meeting was “historic” and that the two leaders had “left the past behind.”

    “The world will see a major change,” he said. “I would like to express my gratitude to President Trump to make this meeting happen.”

    The pair signed documents which vowed to establish diplomatic relations between the two countries with a commitment from North Korea to denuclearize the Korean peninsula.

    US President Donald Trump holds up a document signed by him and North Korea’s leader Kim Jong Un following a signing ceremony during their historic US-North Korea summit (SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images)

    Four points of the Trump-Kim Declaration:

    1. The United States and the DPRK commit to establish new U.S.-DPRK relations in accordance with the desire of the peoples of the two countries for peace and prosperity.

    2. The United States and the DPRK will join their efforts to build a lasting and stable peace regime on the Korean Peninsula.

    3. Reaffirming the April 27, 2018 Panmunjom Declaration, the DPRK commits to work towards the complete denuclearization of the Korean Peninsula.

    4. The United States and the DPRK commit to recovering POW/MIA remains including the immediate repatriation of those already identified.

    When reporters asked if Kim was prepared to denuclearize, Trump said that they would be “starting that process very quickly.”

    “We’ve developed a very special bond,” Trump said, adding that the summit turned out better than anyone could have predicted.

    When asked if he would invite Kim to the White House, Trump said, “Absolutely, I will.”

    After the signing, the pair reappeared after the signing to shake hands again.

    North Korea leader Kim Jong Un and U.S. President Donald Trump shake hands at the conclusion of their meetings at the Capella resort on Sentosa Island Tuesday, June 12, 2018 in Singapore. (AP Photo/Susan Walsh, Pool)

    The president spoke briefly to reporters after the handshake, affirming that he would meet with Kim “many times” saying that he had a “great personality” and was “very smart.”

    “Good combination,” he added, describing him as “a very worthy, very smart negotiator.”

    “We had a terrific day and we learned a lot about each other and our countries,” he said.

    When asked what he learned about Kim, Trump replied, “I learned that he’s a very talented man. I also learned that he loves his country very much.”

    Trump teased the document signing after leaving the working lunch with Kim.

    U.S. President Donald Trump and North Korea leader Kim Jong Un stop to talk with the media as they walk from their lunch at the Capella resort on Sentosa Island Tuesday, June 12, 2018 in Singapore. (AP Photo/Evan Vucci)

    “We had a really fantastic meeting. A lot of progress. Really, very positive, I think better than anybody could have expected, top of the line, really good. We’re going right now for a signing,” Trump told reporters as the pair walked by the press.

    Both leaders paused and spoke briefly before going separate ways at the doorway of the hotel.

    Trump also showed Kim the interior of his presidential limousine “The Beast” as they walked together outside the hotel, according to the Associated Press.

    Trump and Kim have spent about five hours together in various meetings, including a 40-minute period of just the two leaders in a room with their interpreters.

  21. Octopus says:

    You know, we all thought Dennis Rodman was a stupid, insane person when he became pals with the Fat Kid. Even Trump called him delusional. Now who’s crazy? 😆

    My favorite Rodman quote was the other day, when he said he hoped the Fat Kid would wear a MAGA hat to the summit. Now, that’s a bridge too far. 😆 (but I bet it was considered)

  22. Octopus says:

    In the midst of the Trump-Kim nuclear firestorm, Chunky found time to re-tweet this glurge:


    So yuge, Chunky. Nearly as yuge as your ass. 😆

    • KGB says:

      Win-win if you ask me. You lot go off and solve “Climate Change” via economy-strangling regulation and we’ll go have, ahem, relations with some other countries. Honestly, with friends like these, who needs friends?

  23. Octopus says:

    The massive stinging butthurt needs to be documented here:

    Brain-dead swaggering Trump cultists out in force on Twitter tonight.
    3 hours ago
    Hilarious New Video: Michelle Wolf Gets a Lesson in How to Write for the New York Times
    5 hours ago
    RT @EricHolthaus: What happened this weekend could signal a major turning point in world history. The G6 — the world’s richest countries —…
    5 hours ago
    The Trump fans who’ve been tweeting at me today have definitely not convinced me I was wrong to consider them the d……
    5 hours ago
    RT @EricBoehlert: reminder: every POTUS could have met w/ NK dictator. they all passed. I.e. getting a meeting w/ NK is literally easiest t…
    6 hours ago
    RT @CahnEmily: Kim Jong Un is evil. He tortures his people. Look at what happened to Otto Warmbier. This is sick that everyone is normalizi…
    7 hours ago
    Trump’s Two Main Doctrines: “We’re America, B*tch” and “F*ck Obama”
    7 hours ago
    Can’t help wondering if Trump was allowed to bring his unsecured iPhone into the meeting. I’d be totally unsurprised if he did.
    7 hours ago
    Yeah, we just witnessed history. Embarrassing, disgraceful, insanely dangerous history made by an incompetent unqualified racist jackass.
    7 hours ago
    Sure, that was history we just saw. Stupid, reckless, ignorant history.
    7 hours ago

  24. Octopus says:

    The Daily Beast swings hard into damage-control mode, mimicking the NYT’s “agreement lacks details” sub-header.”

    “Nothingburger.” 😆

  25. Octopus says:

    Seems Bobby “Fuck Trump” DeNiro was a client with one of the biggest sex-slavery concerns of our time. Can we see some charges laid, mayhap?

    • rightymouse says:

      Lemme see. “Sex”. “Laid”. Punny much? 😆

      • Octopus says:

        “Charges” sometimes means “children you’re in charge of,” or, in Uncle Bobby’s case, charges on his credit card. OOOOOOHHHH!! 😆

        But seriously…these people are sick and disgusting.

  26. rightymouse says:

    Alec Baldwin thinks he’d win if he ran for Prez in 2020. Am laughing out loud. 😆

  27. Octopus says:

    Please run, Alec!

    • rightymouse says:

      Here’s a video Trump can run over & over during the primaries. 😆

      • Octopus says:

        😆 😆 😆 😆

        For extra points, I submit this clip from his only good movie, when he was just a young punk actor who took direction from smarter people. “Miami Blues,” based on the book by the great Charles Willeford, is a classic. Jennifer Jason Leigh was never again so pert and lovely.

  28. rightymouse says:

    This is a Gussy retweet.
    Lemme say that this chick needs to increase her credibility by laying of the “F” word. Sorry, but it comes across crude & crass. Just sayin’.

    • rightymouse says:

      She comes across as a dumb, blonde & crass liberal. Maybe she could cohost Megyn Kelly’s show. 😆

    • Octopus says:

      Read as much of her timeline as I could. She’s an imbecile, raising a child alone. Oy, vey!

  29. rightymouse says:

    I’m amused by the liberal meltdown over Trump dealing with a commie dictator. FDR, Churchill & Stalin must never happened.

    • Octopus says:

      They were orgasmic over Obama and Canada’s embrace of communist Cuba, the worst dictatorship in our hemisphere. Seems they have a bit of selective political judgement, eh wot? And, they’re idiotic assholes. 😆

  30. Octopus says:

    Biden’s an iffy candidate, eh? 😆

    • OLT's Ring Given Freely says:

      Woof, yep, there’s plenty of photos.

      It’s disturbing.

      Did he make it out alive?

  31. Octopus says:

    Das is gut, ja?

  32. Octopus says:

    I’ve long wondered about this phenomenon.

  33. Octopus says:

    I have been reviewing a few of my favorite Shrillary-supporter meltdowns, and I’m so full of schad, I’d better stop before I pop. 😆

  34. Bunk X says:

    Charles retweeted this #rumpswab.

  35. Bunk X says:

  36. Octopus says:

    Gus gives his laser-eyed appraisal of the news:

    Gut one, Gus. Reminds me of the time Reagan surrendered to Gorbachev. The Left never could give Reagan any credit for the demise of the Soviet Union.

    Not to be outdone, Chunky goes to the Main Decider, Stephen The Applause Monkey:

    Saving you the trip through the Begging Bowl Corridor, here’s the clip Fatass found so “Right on, man!” The greatest diplomatic achievement since the Berlin Wall came down is just too painful for the libturds to comprehend. 😆

    • OLT's Ring Given Freely says:

      Gus-Gus surrendered to Sterno.

      Obama surrendered to everyone.

      We all have our demons, Gus-Gus.

  37. Octopus says:

    I’ve known Rodman for a long, long time, and he really hasn’t changed. He’s a man who runs on pure emotion, not sophisticated logic and whatnot. He has a huge heart, which was always on display when he played basketball, from his first year in the NBA. That heart was broken when the Pistons came apart after their great run with the Isiah Thomas-led Bad Boys, and his father-figure Chuck Daly retired — Dennis came very close to blowing his head off in the parking lot of the Auburn Palace, when that happened. His bizarre behavior after that incident can be explained by his reaction to such a monumental identity crisis.

    It’s beyond ironic, the position he’s found himself in here. It’s kind of crazy, too. Sometimes crazy helps, I guess.

  38. rightymouse says:

    Glad to see you’re finally figuring things out, Gussy.

    • rightymouse says:

      Never mind….

      • Arachne says:

        Can we see Gussy’s similar tweets about Obama and Cuba?

        • rightymouse says:

          That was different. Because. Obama.

        • Bunk X says:

          Heh. Nice fodder in the BRC archives…

          • Bunk X says:

            Gusano was prolific, starting with his debut on LGF in October 2008. According to his BRC stats, he cranked it up to a rate of 59 comments per day, 4 per hour.

          • OLT's Ring Given Freely says:

            Can we have a feature on praise for The Unicorn Messiah and his enlightened dealings with evil dictators?

            I’m thinking in particular the Cuba deal, in which Obama wrung Castro dry with absolutely no changes in US policy or tone. Yeah, that one. Or, the nuke deal with the Mad Mullahs that was entirely comprised of Obama spanking them soundly on their sandy bottoms.

            I think all the people that don’t read here would LOVE that.

  39. Bunk X says:

    $8,405 of $20,000 goal
    Raised by 200 people in 37 months

  40. Arachne says:

    As an avid Twitter user, every IMPORTANT idiot liberal is featured on Twitchy or is at least retweeted with comment. The fact that Fatso never shows up on anyone’s radar indicates several things – that (1) no one is really paying any attention to him; and (2) no one even considers his idiocy worth the derision.

    • Octopus says:

      Whenever one of Trump’s MSM enemies wants to belittle him, they always start with the tag, “Former reality-TV star,” as if that’s the most damning thing, and the only thing Trump has ever done. Then they say, “Failed businessman,” as if saying something stupid enough times will make it true.

      The fact that Trump has had more experience in his lifetime swimming with the sharks in many varied fields, coming out on top every time, totally escapes them. Now they’re trying to paint the huge breakthrough with the Norks as a failure, because Trump didn’t come out of the initial meeting with all the Nork-nukes loaded on his plane. They are more deranged than they’ve ever been. Thankfully, most of America sees right through them.

  41. Octopus says:

    Sticking with foreign policy, in the aftermath of the G-7 summit the Democrat-Left-Media complex and the Eurabians are all butthurt that PDT has insulted them and not knuckled under, like previous administrations have (for the most part) since the end of World War II. With all due respect to Europe and the Left, which is to say none at all, GFY. The President is right; we spent our blood and treasure liberating you from ideologies of your own making twice in a generation and after rebuilding your continent and economies, we’ve spent nearly 75 years afterwards funding your dissolute, insane, cheese-eating, wine-guzzling, adulterous lifestyles while protecting you from Russia, all to see you committing cultural suicide at our expense and then blaming us, evil Jooz, capitalism, Christianity and the 40 hour work week for the ills you brought upon yourselves, as the illusion of the European union collapses around you. Enough.
    — J.J. Sefton

  42. Octopus says:

    Gus sometimes feels the need to get back on the plantation and give his master a good handie:


    • rightymouse says:

      What idiotic tweets. Unless, of course, he’s being tongue-in-cheek about the squawking liberal nonsense.

  43. Octopus says:

    “Here’s how we’ll spin this one, kids: Trump negotiated a peace deal with the most dangerous nuclear pus-boil on the planet, and that’s a massive disaster for us, but let’s try and make the case that this means Trump is the same as Kim Jong Un — why else could he make this happen, unless that were true? I know, it’s retarded and makes no sense, but it’s the only thing Soros Central can come up with. You have any better suggestions?”


  44. Octopus says:

    Actually, it sucks, and isn’t worth watching. Adds nothing to the original, and Weezer-Boy couldn’t even be arsed to learn the lyrics — had to read them off his PC while he sang along. Lame!

    Here’s a decent cover:

    • KGB says:

      “Africa” is one of those songs that just doesn’t need to be and shouldn’t be covered. The sound and composition are firmly rooted in the band Toto and the era in which it was created. The original is a timeless track. Compare it to a song like “Heartbeat” by Buddy Holly, a tidy little tune that The Knack did justice to twenty years later. I can hear Weezer, or any power pop band, covering it with aplomb because it’s the kind of song you can’t really do wrong. But “Africa” is a whole different ball of wax.

  45. Octopus says:

    Look who’s back! 🙂

  46. Octopus says:

    I really think Gus tweeted this because he identifies with the old crazy coot. 😆

  47. rightymouse says:

    Was listening to the WSJ news this morning and there was a report that Sarah Sanders was leaving the end of this year. She says it’s false. Good!

    • OLT's Ring Given Freely says:

      Trump must be attacked on every front, every day.

      Sanders is effective. If this is a false rumor, it is meant to hurt her.

      If it’s true, Trump has another leaker and someone needs their ass fired.

      • Octopus says:

        She’s the best one I’ve seen at this job, and that’s with the press like hungry piranhas every day. Pure class.

  48. Bunk X says:

  49. Octopus says:

    Chunky can haz butthurt. 😆

  50. Minnow says:

    Charles, you really are a boring idiot. Who did you learn this from? Your mother or your father?

  51. Bunk X says:

  52. Bunk X says:

    • Octopus says:

      Andrea is a semi-famous angry lesbian, who would rather cut your dick off and feed it to her cats. True story!