Charles Johnson’s Magical Jazzy Afro

Prior to sporting his infamous Magical Jazzy Ponytail, Charles Johnson sported a Magical Jazzy Afro in order to blend in with the Stanley Clarke / George Duke jazz fusion band. It didn’t fool anyone. Besides that, Clarke and Duke were both talented and should have been embarrassed playing this mindless noodling garbage in the first place.

Maybe that’s why they hired Charles…

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205 Comments on “Charles Johnson’s Magical Jazzy Afro”

  1. Octopus says:

    I understand Clarke and Duke are considered talented by jazzy connoisseurs, but I can only take their music in small doses. Hiring a soulless noodler like Frizzy Future Fatass says something to me about their taste. Heโ€™s turrible! ๐Ÿ˜†

  2. Octopus says:

    And itโ€™s snowing, on April 9th!

    Gore help us. ๐Ÿ˜ก

  3. Octopus says:

    When I was a kid, there were a millon or so of these dirty jokes around, featuring “Johnny Fuckerfaster.” I think it’s the same kid, only with a cleaned-up moniker for today’s censors. ๐Ÿ˜†
    ————————————–

    TEACHER – Jonny, if there are 5 birds on a fence and you shoot 1, how many are left?

    JONNY – None, all the others would fly away.

    TEACHER – The correct answer is 4, but I like the way you think.

    JONNY – I have a question for you maโ€™am. There are 3 women eating ice cream. One is biting, one is licking, and one is sucking. Which one is married?

    TEACHER – *nervously* The one sucking.

    JONNY – The answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like the way you think.

    • Octopus says:

      I should have known Johnny lives on, on Reddit. ๐Ÿ˜†

      • Octopus says:

        A sailor on a Navy ship had been out to sea for weeks, and was beginning to go through sex withdrawals. Fed up with the lack of sex, he asked one of his shipmates what he did when the pressure was too much to take.

        “Well, there’s a barrel with a hole in it near the mop storage. When it gets to be too much for us, we use that.”

        So the sailor went over to the barrel and decided to give it a go. Finding it was better than he’d expected, he began using it regularly, and his problems seemed to vanish.

        After a couple of weeks, his commanding officer began to take notice, and said, “You seem to be a lot more relaxed. What’s your secret?”

        The sailor, embarrassed to give a straight answer, simply said he’d been getting better rest.

        “Well good, sailor. You’re going to need it,” replied the officer. “Today’s your turn in the barrel.”

  4. Octopus says:

    http://americandigest.org/wp/long-read-week-not-dove-john-updike-1989/

    Really good article, by one of our greatest writers. A bit dated, but so much of what he thought about and felt is still going on today, only in more-hysterical terms.

    • rightymouse says:

      Brilliant writing! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Chunk is stuck on his couch and can't get ! up!! says:

      An American genius. I remember being forced to read Rabbit Run in high school and didnโ€™t quite get it despite being a reader. Years later after reading tons of Sci Fi by brilliant engineers, but mediocre writers I revisited him and was completely floored by his sheer writing skill. The Beck series of short stories, the Rabbit series, The Centaur, Toward the End of Time, The Witches of Easwick, Gertrude and Claudius ( read the first paragraph, you might as well be reading Shakespeare). A great writer takes you into a different world and fires up your imagination. Better than cinema.

      • Octopus says:

        Those Rabbit books might as well be “The Great American Novel,” as a set. And you have to read them as an adult to appreciate them — I think I was in my late-30’s.

        Another classic of his you don’t hear a lot about anymore is “Couples,” about the amoral, wife-swapping swinging of some Sixties suburbanites. I somehow came across it in high school, and I was shocked, shocked I tell you. ๐Ÿ˜†

  5. rightymouse says:

    Was Charles pretending he was black like that Rachel Dolezal chick. Weirdorama.

  6. Octopus says:

    http://americandigest.org/wp/long-read-week-speculate-michael-crichton/

    Crichton was the guy who got me looking into AGW, not long before he passed. This is another great piece showing what a realist he was, completely unfooled by MSM folderol.

  7. Octopus says:

    She for or against Cosby? ๐Ÿ˜†

  8. Octopus says:

    Some people got mad ‘cuz Hurley wore this dress right next to her son. People, shaddap! It’s a lovely dress, and she looks amazing for her age. Her Little Prince can handle the moment. ๐Ÿ˜†

  9. Octopus says:

    Now, would you rather listen to some “talented” jazzy noodlers, or some rockabilly from an old coot with more soul in his little plinky-fingers than any of those 70’s fusioneers? I know what I’d prefer. The one that makes the girlies’ dresses fly up. ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. Octopus says:

    Gus “got all Dean Martin-like.” That’s how he imagines he appears, in his nightly stupor. Suavely schwasted. ๐Ÿ˜†

    Oh my God.
    2 hours ago
    Twang.
    2 hours ago
    I am sorry.
    2 hours ago
    OMG!
    2 hours ago
    Thunder!
    2 hours ago
    Owp!
    2 hours ago
    I have giant guitars too.
    2 hours ago
    I’m woke.
    2 hours ago
    Drag on.
    2 hours ago
    Oh shit. I got all Dean Martin like.
    2 hours ago

    Brothers from a different mother!

  11. Octopus says:

    Moar insane gibberish like the following, no doot:

    So unhinged! Falling apart before our eyes! About to be impeached! Drooling and shitting his pants, while playing with the nuclear football! ๐Ÿ˜†

  12. Octopus says:

    I was just getting caught up on the Hannity-Kimmel twitterwar, and saw this delicious bit of schadenfreude:

    http://www.breitbart.com/big-hollywood/2018/04/07/jimmy-kimmel-under-fire-hurling-homophobic-slurs-hannity-and-trump/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+breitbart+%28Breitbart+News%29

    Oopsie! Stepped on a big gay rake there, Jimmy. Can’t wait to hear your apology. ๐Ÿ˜†

    • Octopus says:

      Some people were triggered by this lovely young college grad’s class photo. To these snowflakes I say, take a gander! And GFY with a pineapple wrapped in barbwire. ๐Ÿ™‚

  13. rightymouse says:

    Don’t hurt yourself! ๐Ÿ™„

    • rightymouse says:

      Gussy was driving down the street in a sweat because
      he had an important meeting at AAA and couldn’t find a parking
      place. Looking up to heaven he said, ‘Lord take pity
      on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass
      every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up
      Rot gut whiskey and ganja!’

      Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

      Gussy looked up again and said, ‘Never mind, I found one.’

      • Octopus says:

        This made the Lord peevish, so he made Gus drop his stash of ditchweed as he was getting out of his car. Later that night, cries of “Why me, Lord?” echoed plaintively from the garage.

  14. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    Oh mercy. That wasn’t supposed to happen. Bunk’s probably going be pissed that this isn’t safe for wifey walk thru. ๐Ÿ™‚

  15. windbag says:

    Just looking at that picture, I can imagine how terrible the music must have been. Ear bleach to cleanse.

  16. Minnow says:

    Now Facebook “is working with Mueller”. Who in the Fuck is Mueller? That A-hole has overstepped his bounds by about threefold. Fire his ass now.

    (And anyone who has a Facebook account deserves what they get from that slimeball liar Zuckerberg.)

  17. Octopus says:

  18. Octopus says:

    Another moment of Extreme Lucidity for Gus last night. Dedicate this hobo’s lullabye to him. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  19. Octopus says:

    This is really sad. ๐Ÿ˜ฅ

  20. Octopus says:

    Can’t Make This Shit Up Dept.

    http://www.foxnews.com/us/2018/04/10/los-angeles-painting-city-streets-white-in-bid-to-combat-climate-change.html

    CLIMATE CHANGE 16 hours ago
    Los Angeles painting city streets white in bid to combat climate change

    “Jose, mang, you missed a pile of hobo poo over by the hydrant. Don’t you freaking care about teh warmening?”

    Meanwhile, it’s snowing like crazy here in Detroit. Not sticking, but it’s nearly a whiteout blizzard. April 11. GOOOO-O-O-O-O-O-OO-RRE!!1!

  21. rightymouse says:

    Not just Marxists. ๐Ÿ™„

  22. Bunk X says:

    Wow. Group of bicyclists blocked LA intersection today in protest during a vigil for a friend who was killed by a hit and run driver yesterday when a woman plows through the intersection and nails another one. http://ktla.com/2018/04/11/1-person-hit-by-car-during-vigil-for-bicyclist-fatally-struck-in-south-l-a-hit-and-run-crash-video/

    • Octopus says:

      Thank Allah Dear Fatass is safe at home, not wheeling about LA like a crazy fitness fanatic. ๐Ÿ˜†

      • Bunk X says:

        I’ll bet he posts something about how bicyclists are being assassinated for trying to save the planet. I’ll be back later after I’ve activated The Charles Johnson Secret Spy App.

    • Octopus says:

      That article is chuck-full of jazzy magical goodness, btw. As in, “you really can’t make this shit up.” That the crowd was assaulting a police officer and his car while the speeding Toyota lit up the friend of the killed cyclist, is just too much. ๐Ÿ˜†

  23. Octopus says:

    WTF happened to Gus today? ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

    Last we heard was, “Oh shit you can’t!”

    Hope the old seadog wasn’t taken by a land shark.

  24. Octopus says:

    Why is he so goddamn pale? Looks like a vampire, rousted out of his coffin in the middle of the day. No wonder he wears a hoodie all the time. ๐Ÿ˜†

  25. Bunk X says:

  26. Octopus says:

    That actually is horrible, Ol’ Salt. ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

  27. Octopus says:

    …and sagebrush rolls past the lonely, deserted outpost in Culver City, that once was a bustling, thriving enterprise. A coyote howls in the distance. Only the dim glow from a basement window of the bunker hints at the lonely struggle within.

  28. Octopus says:

    No, but seriously…how pathetic is this tweet? ๐Ÿ˜†

  29. selrahC with a ‘fro? Dang…wouldn’t that make him a Wegro?!

  30. rightymouse says:

    IG Report on McCabe. What an opportunistic sleaze & liar.

    https://static01.nyt.com/files/2018/us/politics/20180413a-doj-oig-mccabe-report.pdf

  31. windbag says:

    Let the weekend festivities commence.

  32. rightymouse says:

    What’s the take around here on Trump firing Rosenstein & Sessions & nominating Guiliani tore replace Sessions. His task would be to clean house.

  33. Minnow says:

    How loudly would the very MOST SPECIAL POC be screaming and rioting if some college, somewhere held a whites only pool party?

    https://www.thecollegefix.com/post/43910/

  34. Octopus says:

    http://chirb.it/BMKNx5

    The Church Of The Perpetually Offended is quite exercised today, thanks to the release of this Taylor Swift cover of EWF’s “September,” which is one of my favorite all-time songs. I like Swift’s cover, and I’m not even a big fan of her music, which is pretty much pop-pablum. But this is “cultural appropriation,” and the White Chick Must Be Dragged.

  35. Bunk X says:

    How did I ever miss TUOOGB?

    • Octopus says:

      It’s not bad, but I just know somebody’s culture is being appropriated by these white colonialists. Blacks and Hawaiians, I think.

  36. Octopus says:

    https://www.thecollegefix.com/post/43707/

    “Butt-Stuff 2.0 – The Pegging”

    Make it stop, College. ๐Ÿ˜†

  37. Octopus says:

    ๐Ÿ˜†

    • rightymouse says:

      Am grateful to never have had my own FB account. I use hubby’s account to check on the kids.

      • Octopus says:

        #MeToo. Meaning, I use the wife’s account to keep track of the family weirdness. Some old friends and stuff. Okay, I’m stalking everybody! ๐Ÿ˜†

  38. rightymouse says:

  39. rightymouse says:

    I miss Beed. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  40. rightymouse says:

    BEAUTY PARLOR
    A place where women curl up and dye.

  41. rightymouse says:

    A sober moment of historical reality for Gussy. ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

  42. rightymouse says:

    Well, Gussy. Here’s the nut of socialism – it’s just not liberal enough. Socialists actually want communism. Then when they get communism, citizens actually start to die from weird things like government ‘purging’ or ‘starvation’. As Walter Duranty once said: “you can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.” Those “eggs” were the heads of men, women and children, and those “few” were merely tens of millions.

    http://www.ukemonde.com/news/usefulidiot.html

    • Octopus says:

      I still can’t get over hearing my old lesbian aunt saying last year, in all seriousness, “I wish we would just adopt a socialist government here and show the world how great that system could be.” I nearly barfed my eggs, as we were eating breakfast at my sister’s house in Traverse City, but I swallowed my bile.

  43. Octopus says:

    Daniel Craig has been an awesome Bond, second only to the great Sean Connery. Go suck on a Sterno, if you can’t handle the realness. ๐Ÿ˜†

  44. Octopus says:

    I liked “12 Strong” a lot, especially the climactic cavalry charge. You just don’t see a good cavalry charge anymore, especially against tanks, machine guns and rocket-launchers. It worked in this movie, though.

    It sucks that the war in Afghanistan is still percolating along, and we didn’t finish off the Islamist shit-pokes before we decided to cancel Saddam’s ticket, but history is all hindsight. “You’ll be cowards if you leave, and enemies if you stay,” said the wise old Afghan warlord. Yep.

  45. Octopus says:

    I was a Lennon fan, and dissed McCartney. Just ask my wife, who always loved Paul. I get Paul, but the Lennon-sung rock songs of the White Album, compared to the cheesy Paul stuff…

    • Chunk is stuck on his couch and can't get ! up!! says:

      Difference between Lennon and McCartney: Lennon planned to be a musical genius. McCartney just happened to be one.

    • Chunk is stuck on his couch and can't get ! up!! says:

      Cozy studio version with nostalgic pics of the young fellas.

  46. Chunk is stuck on his couch and can't get ! up!! says:

    And lest we not forget this brilliant songwriter.

  47. Chunk is stuck on his couch and can't get ! up!! says:

    I dunno what is life anymore. But watching this girl in the video makes me sort of remember ๐Ÿ™‚

  48. Chunk is stuck on his couch and can't get ! up!! says:

    Miley and Ariana did an adorable version of this in Mileyโ€™s backyard on inflatable furniture. But letโ€™s not forget the original Crowded House rock superstars, Here they are apparently in Sydney in front of the wolrld famous opera house. With a GiANT crowd in front of them.

  49. rightymouse says:

    Gay civil rights lawyer sets himself on fire and dies to protest fossil fuels.

    http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/charred-body-found-prospect-park-walking-path-article-1.3933598

    • rightymouse says:

      Just a wild guess, but methinks the guy was effed up mentally/emotionally.

    • Abu needs a Snickers says:

      Alternate headline: Environutjob sets self on fire in busy park. No one stops.

      I feel bad he felt such hopelessness that this was his response. The article describes him and his belief system lovingly, yet here we are. He checked lots of the loon boxes so we shouldnโ€™tโ€™ be shocked. A prayer for those he so thoughtless left behind.

  50. rightymouse says:

    Hubby conducted bigly today and then we went over to #1 son’s house for dinner with extended family. The sneaks had us all over because they wanted to announce that they were EXPECTING!!! YAYYYYYYYYY! Will be our 5th grand-child. AWESOME!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Abu needs a Snickers says:

      Blessed news, โ€˜Mouse. Rest up cause youโ€™ll be doing lots of spoiling soon. When is the due date?

      • rightymouse says:

        October! We’re so jazzed!! ๐Ÿ™‚

        • Bunk X says:

          The missus broke her water on Halloween. I was timing contractions while passing out candy until the ObGyn told us to get to the hospital pronto.

          MomInILaw was scared to death, but then our first born arrived on All Saints Day and the exorcism was cancelled.