Charles Johnson, Smartest Man on the Internet.

Dude is awesome. Awesome like a twelve-year-old with an Atari jones.


124 Comments on “Charles Johnson, Smartest Man on the Internet.”

  1. Octopus says:

    Oh, my aching ass! 😆

    The Empty Suit figures he’d be great on TV. People tell him that. People, keep telling him that.

  2. Octopus says:

    I love the competitive fire of this young pitcher, who can’t pitch worth a damn but is NOT going to stand around while the other team crosses the plate. Not on his watch!

  3. Octopus says:

    Police chasing this motorcyclist were momentarily stymied when he went all Evel Knievel on them…

    Sadly, the film chronicling this masterful maneuver was shot from a police helicopter, which continued the eventually-successful pursuit and arrest. 😦

  4. Octopus says:

    The Idiot Left hasn’t learned anything from their humiliation in 2016. Their agenda of “Hate Trump” and “Hate NRA” (aka, “Hate YOU!”) has not redounded to their great benefit, to the point where the “Blue Wave” they’ve been chortling about is in danger of becoming a self-destructive tsunami. Could we possibly be in store for another round of schadenfreude-rich video montages of Maddow and TYT learning they backed another glue-factory horsie?

    • rightymouse says:

      Hubby & I are praying for Renacci to kick Sherrod Brown’s ass to the curb in Ohio.

      • Abu says:

        Me too. Sherrod is awful. Hope you’re right.
        Full disclosure: my sens are Durbin and Duckworth. Both suck!
        Of course Ohio elections are less determined by lying cheats like Illinoise.

  5. Octopus says:

    “Marchese will not be charged”…WTF? When is the frickin’ parade? 😆

  6. Dezez157 says:

    “Man, that guy is insufferable.”
    This concludes an insufferable pricks book review.

  7. rightymouse says:

    Lord of the Rings. How old are you, Fatso?? Yeesh. Go read Churchill or Jefferson or someone of their brain caliber. You might learn something.

    • OLT's Ring Given Freely says:

      Lord of the Rings is pretty deep stuff, not the movies. Tolkien was no slouch, and he hung in great company, too.

      Which is why Stalker Charles is having trouble comprehending it.

      • Octopus says:

        He’s looking for the Nazis!

        • Octopus says:

          Hint: Teh Nazgul are a popular fan favorite. Tolkien said no, but what did he know?

          • Octopus says:

            Next Life Project, after slogging through LOTR: “Learn To Play Jazz Guitar So I Can Attract Chicks.”

            Best of luck to ya, kid. 😆

          • OLT's Ring Given Freely says:

            Nazgul = Nancy Pelosi

            Was once human, was seduced by an evil power, is now its slave. Has great, scary powers but also great, scary appearance and a screechy voice.

            But she can’t smell Hobbits. Only John McCain can do that.

          • Octopus says:

            “Tricksy Hobbitses!”

      • rightymouse says:

        I read Herbert’s “Dune”. Does that count? 😆
        Movie sucked.

        • Octopus says:

          I never finished that book. Quite a doorstopper, that one.

          • OLT's Ring Given Freely says:

            Dune is actually fairly close.

            There’s a lot of science in that fiction.

            Tolkien was a linguist and an expert in Old English and Old Norse literature/mythology. The impetus to write the novel was to try his hand at creating mythologies and languages of his own, as he believed they influenced culture and therefore literature.

            It’s not a freaking kiddy tale.

            “The Hobbit” occupies the same universe and is. LOL, maybe you could send Stalker Charles a copy with pictures.

          • Octopus says:

            Confession: I liked “The Hobbit” better. I was pretty young, though — probably about 10, when I read all four books in about two weeks. Read TH first, and then the rest. I was reading them with a neighbor, who kept me going on the LOTR when my interest was waning.

        • Bunk X says:

          My sister bought me a paperback copy, and Frank Herbert was signing copies. Sister said the line was too long so she left. Couple of months later Herbert was dead.

          As for the movie, yeah it sucked. I read the book and I could barely follow it. I don’t completely blame the filmmakerss. IIRC, much of the book’s plot happens in the minds of the characters,

  8. Octopus says:

    Dr. Matthews is a friend and neighbor of mine, who is also in charge of herding feral commie cats as the big cheese in Novi Schools. He’s a very smart guy, and much more rational and conservative than most of the teachers he supervises. He bites his tongue a lot. I thought these articles about the impending walkout and general Free Speech stuff were interesting.

  9. windbag says:

    Shouldn’t he be reading the help wanted ads?

    • Octopus says:

      I’m sure he knows the lines that can’t be crossed, after a lifetime in the trenches. He’s due to retire soon, anyway.

  10. Octopus says:

    A strong biological link has been found between the person known as Blac Chyna, and these giant orb spiders found only in pitch-black catacombs in Europe. Note the similarities, from the enlarged hindquarters full of poison and the hearts of their victims, to the relatively tiny abdomen, to the overdeveloped sucking-parts on the other end. Scientists are flabbergasted.

  11. Minnow says:

    Can Charles EVER say anything positive?

    Blah-blah-blah great books….blah-blah-blah, so and so is a real asshole.

    And, I would stake a large sum of money on “started re-reading” means he read about five words and then set the book down so he could drool over his keyboard with much terminal hipness (excuse the pun).

    Charles, you are an empty, uneducated windbag.

    • OLT's Ring Given Freely says:

      Why do we keep using that murderer’s name?

      • Octopus says:

        I agree, the name should be changed to “Joe Buttsecks.” Or something like that.

        “Scot Peterson” is uncomfortably close to “Scott Peterson,” the shitbird who killed his pregnant wife Lacey on Christmas Eve and dumped her in the ocean. Another guy who deserved the fine old tradition of being drawn-and-quartered, instead of whatever life he’s leading now. (See: The end of “Braveheart”)

        • Abu says:

          I loathe Scott Peterson. I used to work with someone who previously served with him as an Officer, I believe in Bolingbrook, IL.

          Peterson was later convicted of killing one of his many wives (remind anyone of mohammed?) after Illinois passed laws allowing heresay evidence admissible in a court of law. Pathetic.

          I agree he was likely guilty, but to strip rights from all of us to lock up this turd is an early lesson to us all.

    • rightymouse says:

      I am so JAZZED!!!!!!!! 😆

      • Octopus says:

        Jazz hands, or jazz guitar? Either way, you need a shot of Jameson’s. 🙂

        • Abu says:

          Ummm, Jameson’s. Noice choice. I don’t dare buy a bottle because because.

          • Octopus says:

            Pro-Tip: Powers is better. Don’t buy that either, because. 😉

            I think I’ll get a bottle of Powers Gold for St. Paddy’s Day. It’s such a beautiful bottle.

          • poteen2 says:

            If you’re feeling adventurous this Paddy’s day, try Knappogue Castle.

          • Octopus says:

            Interesting story on the Knappogue Castle, Poteen, and great reviews. I’ll look for it.

          • rightymouse says:

            Am going to try both, but you have to promise me they won’t make me puke. I have a sensitive tummy. 🙂

          • Octopus says:

            They haven’t made me puke, ‘Mouse. Last time I got sick from too much alcohol was about fifteen years ago, when a day at the beach turned into a night at the beach, and the drinks were flowing the whole time. 😯

          • poteen2 says:

            Mouse. The Uisce Beatha, “Water of Life” won’t make you barf. The fight you pick with the biggest baddest SOB you can find might cause you some distress though.

    • mfhorn says:

      I’ve tried Jameson, Bushmillls, Black Bush, Tullamore Dew, Kilbeggans, Knappogue Castle, Tyrconnel, Brennan’s (terrible), Powers, and about half a dozen others. Black Bush (Bushmills aged in Sherry casks) and Tullamore Dew are probably my favorites.

  12. rightymouse says:

    Get a job.

    • Octopus says:

      Last $200? You mean, from the Disability check, or the grand inheritance you pissed away?

      Get. A. Job!

      It’s your only chance at a meaningful life, Gus. Even if it just starts as a volunteer gig down at the mission where you eat and occasionally sleep. Baby steps, on that gimpy leg. You can do it!

  13. Octopus says:

    You can’t enjoy the good stuff unless you’re also doing the hard stuff that makes you feel like you accomplished something in a given day. This is Basic Stuff 101, Gus! Surely you must have been exposed to some of this reality, the way you take the bully-stick to these libturds on occasion. 😆

  14. Octopus says:

    Hey, who has that pic of Fatass Pennywise looking out from the sewer where he lives? 😆

  15. Octopus says:

    I think this is my favorite Kinison performance. I remember watching it live, and laughing about it the next day with the water cooler kids. 😆

  16. Dezez157 says:

    More hard hitting journalism by the creepy fatman.
    Hit the tip jars!

    • Bunk X says:

      He’s stalking him on GAB? A bit obsessive, #rumpswab.

    • Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

      The “floor-pooping” story was made up out of whole cloth from people who hate Ginger Johnson. Yet George Duke went to his grave claiming you stole a car from him, knowing full well it was intended to be a band vehicle and then made off with it. Why Duke never wanted you on any reunion concerts. Chunk Johnson you’re white trash scum.

      • Octopus says:

        Fatass disgraced himself further by apolyjizzing on Duke’s website, after the Dukeystick’s death. Shameful!

  17. Dezez157 says:

  18. Bunk X says:

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  20. rightymouse says:

    Am choosing backsplash for the kitchen now that the new counters are installed. But I gotta go grocery shopping. Unlike Gussy, I have more than $200. Why? Because hubby & I work for a living. As do all our kids. Gussy needs a freaking JOB!!

  21. Minnow says:

    all I can say is two things:

    1) Donald rocks.

    2) Charles Johnson is a pussy.

    • rightymouse says:

      People love POTUS because he isn’t a stodgy bobblehead or a ranting loon like too many of our politicians these days.
      People don’t like Charles Effing Johnson because he’s a two-faced, lying hypocrite beta male.

    • Octopus says:

      They were so much better when Bon Scott was singing and writing their lyrics, it’s ridiculous. I mean, kudos to them for carrying on after the tragic accidental death, but…not the same great band. A good band, with a great guitar player, but not the same quality as the original.

  22. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    When Chunky realized his wife wanted to dump him.

  23. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    There’s hope for the younger generation

  24. Bunk X says:

    Charles. You need to hook up with this one.

  25. rightymouse says:

    Gussy must not have enough $$ to buy dope & booze. Poor guy. 🙄

  26. rightymouse says:

    Gussy, POTUS is destroying the opposition who hate him by pointing & laughing. We’re pointing and laughing along with him. 😆

    • rightymouse says:

  27. Octopus says:

    The psychological analysis of the conservative mind is priceless! 😆

  28. Octopus says:

    Not gonna run for Prez, not gonna take the simple spit-test to clear up the controversy. Well, that settles that. 😆

    I’m quite sure she’s had a DNA test done on the sly, and knows the results. If she had a trace of Indian blood in her, she’d have splashed the news all over the place. She’s as white as the driven snow. And, she used the Fauxcahontas-strategy to secure two tenured professorshits.

  29. Octopus says:


    • Bunk X says:

      Years ago there was news of a hermaphrodite in France who was able to pork itself and got preggo. You’re on your own with that one.

  30. Dezez157 says:

    Chuck is pissing and moaning about someone telling the truth about his past again.

  31. Octopus says:

    Of course you agree with all the “points” in this huge load of sophomoric drivel, Fatass. 😆

    Such silly nonsense gives me the giggles.

  32. Octopus says:

    Maybe Chunky could renew his old love affair with the road… BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!1!

  33. Dezez157 says: