Charles Johnson – Master of Interpretational Gymnastics

China has been playing trade games and manipulating their currency for decades. Trump’s comment was well-timed and well-placed subtle sarcasm, and Charles Johnson missed it by a milyo.

Charles Johnson doesn’t understand the concept of “sarcasm” or how it works, and it doesn’t work like this:

That’s called whining.

Jeez, Charles. You’re embarrassing yourself more than usual, and “more than usual” means most of the time. Maybe you could reinvent Little Green Footballs as a news aggregation site instead of parroting memes and tropes promulgated by liars and spin doctors, instead of copy-pasting C-level comedians posing as news sources.

Just a thought, Master Ponytail.

160 Comments on “Charles Johnson – Master of Interpretational Gymnastics”

  1. Octopus says:

    Antifa plants its black flag on Emo Jima

  2. rightymouse says:

    Here’s an example of Fatso’s utter lack of wit.

    Yeah. Am rolling here.

  3. Minnowredux says:

    Charles, we recognize the struggle you are having with President Trump. President Trump has a brilliant mind and he has achieved a lot of success negotiating through complexity. You, on the other hand, struggle with the nuances of grilling salmon and distinguishing the contents of Mountain Dew bottles. How can you expect yourself to even comprehend what President Trump is talking about? Well, we know you cannot. And you know you cannot. So, instead, you resort to the monkey behavior you are so famous for… flinging verbal pooh using Twitter. You think of yourself as clever and hip. The rest of the world shakes its head from side to side and casts a collective eye downward with a sigh of utter disgust….

  4. OLT's Ring Given Freely says:

    Especially the Democrat’s. Thank you, Hillary!

    • That’s correct, Charlatan. All the filthy secrets of the so-called liberal Leftoids kept secret by other so-called liberal Leftoids. This is YOUR crowd. Own that, you mindless poseur.

    • Minnowredux says:

      oh – you mean that part about Hilliary stealing the primary election! Yeah…. that was all Trump’s fault. That guy is such a schmuck……

    • Minnowredux says:

      oh – you mean that part about Hilliary using an unsecured, illegal server to handle classified and secret and top secret information? Yeah – Trump’s fault…. such a dick….

    • Bunk X says:

      He pronounces it “Eee-poach” and doesn’t understand what it means. Now educate us about America’s filthy secrets, Jazzy.

    • Bunk X says:

  5. Minnowredux says:

    or – maybe you mean the revelation that Hilliary and Obama colluded with the Russians which ultimately gave the Russians 20% of our Plutonium for a huge payoff to the Clinton Foundation? That fucking asswipe Trump sure is pulling a hell of a lot of illegal crap……..

  6. Bunk X says:

  7. rightymouse says:

    There’s a dusting of sneaux on the ground. Winter has begun. 😦

  8. rightymouse says:

    Have a family wedding today & currently on a drinking break until the reception. Am managing the appetizers. 🙂

  9. Octopus says:

    Me Irish people got delayed in the airport:

  10. Octopus says:

    All the presumably great football games today became cases of “that escalated quickly.” All the home teams went HAM on their opponents. Well, I got some raking and napping done, anyway. And reading, this evening. “The Force,” by Don Winslow, about a wildly corrupt cop who has to deal with the shitstorm…it’s pretty durn good, if you like this sort of thing. It’s going to be a movie in the future, I’m quite sure. Starring some asshole Hollywood rapist. 😆

    Last night, the wife and I watched Vince Vaughn’s movie, “Brawl In Cell Block 99,” which I found very entertaining, while She was not nearly as amused. It’s a Guy Movie, I guess. Kind of ’70’s, in its tone and feel. I think it was a nice career move for Vaughn, but my gal loves him as the sarcastic goofus, Oh, well. At least he got in shape for this one, for a change.

  11. Octopus says:

    How can Chunky ever develop the finger-dexterity and quickness of reaction to equal such prodigious talent? Short answer: he can’t. But he can whinge, can’t he? Oh, yes. He can whinge like Robert Johnson’s hellhounds are on his slimy snail-trail. Ew.

  12. rightymouse says:

    Gussy must live in a dung heap with no telly or coffeepot.

  13. Octopus says:

    Chunky, you can come out in public now. Other fatties have paved the way. 😆

  14. rightymouse says:

    Even a stopped clock is right twice a day, Gussy. Now, if you could convince Fatso.

  15. rightymouse says:

    Well, they could be, if you let them explore their inner self!!

  16. Octopus says:

    Sometimes weed makes you think things are funny, that aren’t. 😐

    Baseball but with shoulder cats. Every player has a cat on their shoulder.
    39 minutes ago
    Extreme Sports. SportX. Football but with snipers.
    40 minutes ago
    Baseball but with race cars and instead of running to first base you hop in the car an peel out to first base. Some……
    44 minutes ago
    I propose we combine the sport of football and golf to create golfball which will be played much like football but……

  17. doppel milyo, inc. says:

    charles I think it’s time you updated your twitter photo

  18. Bunk X says:

  19. Bunk X says:

    • Octopus says:

      If any old man ever looked like a boy-chaser, it’s the esteemed senator from South Carolina. I mean, come out, already. It’s 2017! 😆

    • KGB says:

      Meanwhile, this creep is one of the wise men of the Democrat Party. Watching this video makes my blood boil. Where are the fathers? Too worried about sucking up to fame and power to protect their daughters? I need a lot more solid proof to believe the Pizzagate conspiracy, but I think there’s no doubt that Washington DC hosts a good number of pedophiles, many in positions of high power.

      • rightymouse says:

        So creepy!!! 😯

      • Trump is Teh HORROR!- Chunky McDumbth, #1Olberdouche Fan Boy. says:

        He’s clearly a creep. Playing with kids hair is just gross. I never did that with my own daughters and I love them dearly. The little ones are unsuspecting but you can tell the bigger girls know some bullshit’s going down and they don’t like it. Women have a radar for it.

  20. Octopus says:

    There are several major reasons:
    — you went nuts in 2009, cratering your super-successful blog by switching sides overnight on every issue.
    — you quit exercising and gained a ton of weight, becoming a recluse imprisoned in your own bunker.
    — you live in an insane, screechy, deluded state of paranoia, amplified constantly in the echo chamber of fringe-Left Twitter.
    — you look to Keith Olbermann for sage wisdom.

    There are other items we could discuss, but I’m afraid your time is up. See you next week. See Dolores on your way out, about your overdue bill.

    • Minnowredux says:

      “Everything” is fine Charles. YOU are what is “so fucking horrible”.

      I can see your cards Charles…. you best tuck them back up to your chest son.

      • KGB says:

        There’s a high probability they’ll get lost in the moobage. Of course, between his flapping mammary glands and the unfortunate pannus situation, it creates the opportunity for him to hide cards, unfortunately Charles isn’t clever enough to pull it off. And those beady eyes betray him time and again when it comes time to bluff.

    • OLT's Ring Given Freely says:

      Stalker Charles is whinier than the whiniest whiner that whined during the reign of God-Emperor Barack.

  21. rightymouse says:

    An old cowboy walks into a barbershop in Red Lodge, Montana for a shave and a haircut.
    He tells the barber he can’t get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.
    The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.

    When he’s finished, the old cowboy tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he’d had in years, but he wanted to know what would have happened if he had accidentally swallowed the little ball.
    The barber replied, “Just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does”.

    • Bunk X says:


      So an army General and a navy Admiral find themselves in the same barbershop in adjacent chairs. Both got a haircut and a shave.

      Barber asks the General if he’d like some aftershave lotion. The General says, “Keep that shit away from me. If my wife smells it, she’ll think I’d been to a whorehouse.”

      Barber asks the Admiral the same question. The Admiral responds, “Sure! Slather it on! My wife doesn’t know what a whorehouse smells like.”

    • Bunk X says:

      I came from a small town. It was so small that the dentist and the proctologist was the same guy. It didn’t bother us much, as long as we made our dental appointments for first thing in the morning.

  22. rightymouse says:

    Suck on some ice.

  23. ISTE says:

    OK I am going to get yelled at.

    To have a man in his 30s attempt to rape you when you are 16 and you re-tell the story the next day then yes, Tears will flow, However after nearly 40 years then not so….

    I have taken beloved animals on their final journey to the veterinarian and after I left them there I was in tears, sometimes so many tears I could not drive. But as time passed I remember the moment I said goodbye but the tears do not flow….

    Tears and sobbing by a woman in her late fifties about an alleged incident 40 years ago?

    No, not buying it….

    • rightymouse says:

      Crocodile tears. Gloria Allred. Agree 100 percent.

    • poteen2 says:

      I’m with you. No charges old or new, no busted face from an angry father, no mention at all when he was a judge. Only unprovable allegations from older women standing next to Gloria Allred during a heated campaign. Not a good mix for truth.
      If any of it was true they’d have used it when he was the Alabama Chief Justice. This is just going to help him elected. The goofy bastards just don’t understand.

      • Octopus says:

        The worst part of this whole shebang is the RINOs jumping on the bandwagon, advising Moore to quit the race so they can get their own POS in there. McConnell, you’re going down. On a donkey.

  24. Bunk X says:

    The three largest naval carrier forces in the world are now stationed off of the Korean peninsula. It appears to me that Trump is going to end the Korean War.

  25. Octopus says:

    You just have to shake your head in wonderment, sometimes.

  26. Octopus says:

    Robert Crumb’s “Devil Girl” lives!

    Her Satanic Majesty:

    He was obsessed. Probably still is.

  27. rightymouse says:

    Gussy needs help.

    • Octopus says:

      That’s actually true, though. Gus has good reasons to be depressed about the state he’s in, but he also has access to strong medicine to treat himself. A fine unbalance.

      • Pakimon says:

        Since Gus’ last gambit (the gofundme account) to get money without actually working went belly up, it’s no wonder he’s depressed.

        I imagine the $3k that was raised on the gofundme account before people wised up and turned it into a tumbleweed ridden dust bowl is pretty much gone.

        The rent is overdue and it’s getting cold out there….

    • OLT's Ring Given Freely says:

      You betcha! Those two items top “gun violence”, too, by MILES.

      /I like to help

      Especially dwarfed are your possibilities of being shot by an evil self-actuated assault weapon with the thing on the stock that goes up.

      Yup, the data is a cruel mistress.

      • OLT's Ring Given Freely says:

        Oddly enough, Gus-Gus, most anti-rights enthusiasts lump suicide (by gun) into murder (by gun), artificially amplifying their supposed “violence” problem while completely whitewashing out the suicide issue and its connection to depression, drug use, drug interaction, etc. and just focusing on GUNS!!!!11ty!

        Why do you think that is?

      • OLT's Ring Given Freely says:

        I know you read here, warm up enough for your testicles to re-descend and let me know your thoughts.

      • Octopus says:

        The thing that goes up…is it a rocket launcher?

        • OLT's Ring Given Freely says:

          Yes, possibly with sarin gas, anthrax powder, and a chainsaw bayonet.

          • Octopus says:

            I don’t know, about the chainsaw bayonet. Seems like a regular bayonet might be more practical, unless you’re trimming trees or lopping off human limbs. Wait…now I get it. 😈

  28. Trump is Teh HORROR!- Chunky McDumbth, #1Olberdouche Fan Boy. says:

    Gosh with all these revelations coming up years later. Ah…reminds me of my first blow job.

    Bastard made me swallow every drop.

    Ba dump.

    • KGB says:

      There was a similar joke on The Sopranos. Gangster one asks gangster two, “do you remember your first blowjob?” Guy says “yes.” Gangster one then says, “how long did it take the guy to cum?”

      • Bunk X says:

        Another old one I heard in Texas:
        “There’s a party Saturday night. It’s in your mouth and everyone’s going to cum.”

          • Octopus says:

            Bill Mumy is half of Barnes & Barnes. He also starred as a child in a classic Twilight Zone episode that became the business model for Chunky’s fail-blog, specifically the part in 2008-2009 when he became megalomaniacal and cratered the thing. Oh, the tip-toeing around him, as his mind began to go! Sharmuta played his mother, while a number of sycophantic men played the role of his father, praising him to the skies while he burned the shithouse down. It was something to see, alright. 😆

  29. Trump is Teh HORROR!- Chunky McDumbth, #1Olberdouche Fan Boy. says:

    So it appears Rand Paul was just blindsided by a violent leftist when he was attacked and seriously injured. He hasn’t spoken to the freak in 10 yrs. But the latter is a virulent leftist and Trump hater according to his Facebook posts. It had nothing to do with landscaping which is merely an excuse his lawyer is using to try to avoid jail time for his lunatic client.

    Which, of course is no surprise since the left are always militant and filled with hate and violence toward people who disagree with their radical ideology.

    And something Chunk0 Johnsuck chose to join and seems proud of. And bizarrely claims the orderly and non-violent right are the violent ones. He even idiotically shrieks about Trump supporters when they’ve clearly been attacked by Robert Creamer’s (Obungle’s “community organizer” aka thug) paid goons.

  30. Trump is Teh HORROR!- Chunky McDumbth, #1Olberdouche Fan Boy. says:

    Remember that video of Obungle on a plane showing off his erection? The Demoncrap press women seemed to enjoy it. It was very clear he wanted them to see it and they wanted to see it even urging someone to sit down and get out of the way. Since they wanted to see it I guess it’s not harrassment. But it’s very strange behavior to want to show your cock in a public/professional setting. I wonder how he would feel about someone doing that in front of his daughters or wife.

    • Bunk X says:

      Glorified man-chillun.

      • Octopus says:

        They are just like slaves, the players. Slaves with untold millions of dollars, armies of sycophants, teams of specialists who cater to their every whim, and women for the taking spread out across the land. How can they possibly stand for the anthem, when slavery and oppression are the true nature of their condition?

  31. Octopus says:

    Some pranks go a little too far. 😯

  32. Octopus says:

    It’s like 3-D chess, the way you game this economy. Sheer genius. 😆

    • Octopus says:

      Hey, Gus…need a spare blanket? Some visqueen? Give me your current address, and I’ll send you a box of stuff, from my garage to yours. 🙂