Alexa Talks About Little Green Footballs

Once in a while it’s kinda fun to see how Charles Johnson’s Little Green Footballs stats are doing, and Alexa turned up an interesting aberration in the decline.


The image above has been chopped and channeled and lowered and louvered for clarity (and a little bit of ventilation) but the graphs and data from Alexa are sound and legit as of 1 May 2017.

What happened in January likely had to do with the Presidential Inauguration, as a lot of people (including me) wanted to watch Charles Johnson’s meltdown, but the views should have dropped off shortly after. Then there’s that bizarre spike mid-February, and it took until late April for the LGF Decline to resume. Johnson has fudged his view stats in the past, so perhaps he got caught at it again and was busted by an extraneous algorithm. Search engines don’t give him much traffic as he’s got little original content and he’s got most bot crawlers blocked. Not only that, but LGF hasn’t been a “news aggregator site” for years, because these days it’s all about “clickbait.” Here’s the kicker:

95 percent of all websites load faster than Johnson’s Little Green Footballs.

Nice work, Charles.

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92 Comments on “Alexa Talks About Little Green Footballs”

  1. dudebro says:

    Guitarist: George Duke had to PAY him to go away.
    Coder: 95% of web sites are properly coded compared to his POS.
    Conclusion: chuckles chetoos, complete failure

  2. Octopus says:

    Here’s the thing, Fatass — if you listened to the advice in this piece, your entire life would change. You’d have to stop tweeting insanely biased glurge 24/7. What would you do with all this free time? Perhaps you’d find productive, rewarding work to do. Maybe you’d get a new bike, and start riding again. You might even find the time to look inward, and try to discover the true reasons you nuked your super-successful blog and ended the good times.

    Maybe you’d better not go there. You might not have the inner fortitude for such a journey. 😯

    http://theoatmeal.com/comics/believe

    • OLT's Past All Meter Jokes And On Into Psych Issues says:

      My God, the ironic irony in Stalker Charles’ post is past ironic and into moronic.

      How can anyone embrace/pretend to embrace an idea like this and not see the application in his/her/xir own life? Buy a plastic mirror* and take a look, Stalker Charles.

      OTOH, if you are really a Lefturd and not just a sock in the wind, this utter inability to conduct introspection combined with the mastery of telling others how to live (and a dangerous level of projection) is perfectly natural.

      Carry on, and don’t stand in the fucking street because run over.

      *because shards when explodes

      • OLT's Past All Meter Jokes And On Into Psych Issues says:

        *because shards when glass explodes

        Damn you, my creativity and reluctance to proofread

    • Fatso's commie eat those vs Trump's knee-highlism says:

      I suppose it’s a brilliant revelation to a moron who tells people to go fuck themselves on Twitter on a daily basis.

      • Bunk X says:

        The little house surrounded by fencing and barbed wire looks just like one in Culver City.

  3. Pakimon says:

    I’m sure the brief rise was due to unwary leftist Trump haters falling for Chunkles’ Twitter click bait. Word got around and the decline resumed once the moonbats figured out that The Magical Jazzy Ponytail was a in reality, an empty-headed, bloviating fraud and poser.

    I knew their was correlation between Alexa stats and Chunkles’ peevish level… 😆

    • Arachne says:

      I’d agree. This is why he enages with prominent people on Twitter. What he’s REALLY hoping for is someone to click on his site and up his stats. Which is the same reason I think he’s paying a service to “LIKE” and “RETWEET” his schlock. BTW, you get only so many per day so it’s interesting that he doesn’t get liked and retweeted on a grand scale for EVERY comment, like, say, Iowahawk or James Woods. And I’m also suspicious of his follower count. But they of course could all be legitimate. However, his history of faking his site states, his complete failure as a podcast co-host (and the lack of retweets and likes when he announces he’s going to be on the show) tell me that it’s more likely than not he got tired of having numbers putting him at the bottom of the Twitter totem pole.

      • Bunk X says:

        I’ll bet there’s a relatively painless way to take a random sample of his “followers” and extrapolate the number of bots. Where is Opilio?

      • Abu penis penis penis lol says:

        Hrm, Chunky and Iowahawk. Didn’t Iowahawk,… nah.

        • Arachne says:

          Yep, at one point. Now he’s an internet and twitter legend. Whereas Fatso’s just a twit.

  4. Octopus says:

    The Peeve Is Real.

  5. Arachne says:

    I would like to point out something to the Long Con that is Charles Fuckface Johnson. Your whole life now is tweeting. Seriously. This is your life. I tweet and comment on blog boards when I have a breather at work just to play for a few minutes. You rarely see me on blog boards and twitter during the weekend. Why? A life, Fatso. You are reduced to sitting on your ample ass in front of a computer, waiting and hoping for that Google “ping” that tells you that someone somewhere remembers you’re still around. And I’m willing to bet your face falls like Niagra when the ping comes from this site. Your biggest fear is that one morning you’ll find out this site has closed down for lack of interest.

    And you really have nothing to bring to the table. You comment on the words of others. You think you’re somehow sitting at the Cool Table when you respond to the Olberdork, when you don’t even get the irony that your hero is now essentially a third-rate shill with a fourth-rate gig. He registers on no one’s radar other than as a joke. There are no anchor offers coming his way – he moved slowly down the cable dial until he fell off completely. Which is pretty much analogous to how your once-heralded and praised blog has “devolved”. What was your Alexa rank prior to 2009? I bet it wasn’t 50,000 U.S., 169,000 worldwide. I’m willing to bet you were in the top 1,000, even the top 500.

    You are reduced to a crap blog filled with advertisers that loads slower than Aunt Fanny’s Muffin Extravaganza Site and for which you have a constant begging bowl out. It’s been two YEARS since you launched that pathetic attempt to prove how loved and appreciated you are. In TWO YEARS you have not been able to reach your initial goal of $10,000. Two fucking YEARS. And since you have shown yourself to be a conniving, deceitful asshat, most of us don’t really believe you’ve received anything NEAR that amount – that you have withdrawn money, paid the fee, put money back to show donations and then withdraw it again. Too many “Anonymous” donations, dude.

    But keeping believing in yourself, Lardass. SOMEONE needs to.

      • Arachne says:

        And it probably went up after Rathergate. Of course, other political blogs came along but LGF was listed everywhere and just about everyone said even if they didn’t contribute to the discussion, they were checking it every day. Rush Limbaugh brought up stories often. So did Mark Levin and Andy Wilkow.

        • Bunk X says:

          The second time I heard Limbaugh mention Little Green Footballs I wrote it down, followed it and eventually I caught one of his “The Gates Are Now Open” for registration and signed in. I lasted about a week before I stepped on some eggshells and triggered a dogpile.

    • Fatso's commie eat those vs Trump's knee-highlism says:

      Right. He (Comey) said that it was only for the purpose of printing the emails for Huma’s boss, Shrillybeast. So really? Weinie Boy printed 650,000 emails? And still had time to be an internet creep? So I guess it was print, wank, print, wank….and so on. No time for reading the classified material. Great deductive detective work FBI!

  6. OLT's Screw You Fascist Argentine Hatebum says:

    Isn’t it GREAT to know YOU helped build that?

  7. OLT's And Your Dumbass Friends, Too says:

    Duh, stupid, it’s the exact same Leftists that blame the US for Islamofascist terrorism.

    You people … see, it’s not just Stalker Charles that can’t read what he writes.

    • OLT's And Your Dumbass Friends, Too says:

      You back one argument and then deny its use in exactly the same case. DERP

  8. OLT's HOLY SHIT BATMAN, TRUMP TROLLED THE SPACE POPE says:

    OMFG. Have I dies and gone to Heaven?

    • OLT's HOLY SHIT BATMAN, TRUMP TROLLED THE SPACE POPE says:

      READ.THIS.THREAD.

      OMFG. Makes Gus-Gus’ best Sterno-peeping Tom stream look like mid-naptime at kindergarten.

  9. Fatso's commie eat those vs Trump's knee-highlism says:

    Tired of Trump Tired of the Clinton bashing. Tired of Republicans. Tired of the far-right. Tired of the far-left. Tired of the Marxists.
    1 hour ago

    Gus is so fwiggin’ tiyud.

  10. OLT's HOLY SHIT BATMAN, TRUMP TROLLED THE SPACE POPE says:

    Leftards are mad at NYT and One-Third Reich.

    Holy SHIT.

    Leprechauns are gonna start throwing pots of real gold at my feet any minute. Seventy-three (ONE extra, suck it, Islamofascists) voluptuous Valkyrie are going to boink me half to death, heal me with eldritch magic, boink me half to death again, and then carry me to Valhalla to get drunk and feast with Thor and Odin while we discuss the finer points of boinking Valkyries.

    I mean at this point, literally ANYTHING could happen.

  11. rightymouse says:

    The few times I’ve dared visit LGF, the first thing that pops up is his “Gimme Money” popup. So friggin’ annoying.

  12. ISTE says:

    Sorry to get technical but….

    Just visited LGF for the first time in a very long time and, yep, it really does load slow!

    We quit doing the “Berry Picker” thing a long time ago, Because we got them all and the recent crap over there is not worth archiving. Being honest the berry picker was not exactly state of the art but it did the job. Now I am thinking the settings fore timeout and lost connections need to be increased to tens of minutes not tens of seconds for it to work now.

    What did he do to slow it down so much?

    On a brighter note, I am going to surprise a friend of mine with a Nuru massage this weekend (If she is daft enough to fall for the old “would you like a massage” trick and doesn’t Google “Nuru” first… )

    Nuru is a Japanese erotic massage technique from Kawasaki City. The technique requires one or more masseuses to rub their body against the client’s body after both parties are nude and covered with an odorless and tasteless massage lotion. The word originates from the Japanese language and means “slippery / smooth.”[1][2] Nuru practitioners use an odorless and tasteless massage lotion which is derived from seaweed leaves, sometimes referred to as “nuru gel” in English. The gel is applied by hand to the entire body of both client and masseuse. During the massage, participants will try to get the widest possible physical contact, the masseuses often using their entire body on the person to be treated. Strong tactile sensations are triggered that are designed to relieve stress. The main component of the gel used during Nuru massages is the sulfated polysaccharide fucoidan, which is obtained from the leaves of the brown seaweed plant Sphaerotrichia divaricata. Chamomile, Azulene and other minerals are often added.

    Nuru massages are legal in certain regions of the world outside Japan including areas in Canada, Europe and The United States.

    Now… Um… seaweed.

    Nearest sea is Galveston. Going on a road trip tomorrow to get a shit load of seaweed!

    And!!!! The bonus is if I get my seaweed from Galveston I don’t need to waste money on aromatic oils to mix with the slippery lotion.

    BP, Shell, Exxon and the others supplied the oil free of charge!

    I am a cheap bastard 🙂

  13. Bunk X says:

  14. Bunk X says:

    • Bunk X says:

      • dezes157 says:

        I was in Walmart today, right next to the vitamins were a few thousand condoms, a 30 pack cost less than a 12 pack of generic sodas.

        • dezes157 says:

          Not that a pock faced obese no talent guitar player has a use.

          • Arachne says:

            He’s the kind of idiot that would go to Walgreens and buy a 12 pack every four days or so just so the garbage men could see the empty boxes and think he’s a stud. In reality, he’s blown them all up with helium and his living room looks like a sex pervert’s birthday party.

        • Bunk X says:

          Charles’ idea of contraception is warm washrag named Pamela.

    • dezes157 says:

      Chuck the science guy, too obese to get out of his shit stained bean bag, let alone ever be chosen to be on an ark that leaves earth.

  15. dezes157 says:

    Hide like a bitch works for obese clowns though.

  16. Bunk X says:

  17. Octopus says:

    No…”The Tommyknockers” was worse. God, what a pile of dook. 😆

  18. Octopus says:

    It took both hands, but you finally found it. Have fun!

    • Bunk X says:

      He’s talking about his landlord. Rent’s late again, so Gusano has to turn off all the lights and pretend he’s not home.

  19. Octopus says:

    A handy chart for the ladies:

    Um…a Pop-Tart is not going to pass muster as a sandwich unless it’s toasted.

    • Pakimon says:

      I come from a long proud line of Structural Neutral Ingredient Purists in classic culinary aspects of this topic.

      However, in a metaphorical aspect, I lean toward being an Ingredient Rebel.

      For example, that whole “Life is a shit sandwich” milyo. 😆

    • Bunk X says:

      Two toasted PopTarts with peanut butter works, but I’m more of a purist. Peanut butter and pickle relish on toast is awesome.

  20. Octopus says:

    I was going to screen-cap Chunky’s hysterical timeline for posterity, but this visual representation will do nicely:

    https://giphy.com/gifs/trigglypuff-o6SQRR0Etm90Y/tile

  21. Octopus says:

    We don’t need traveling circuses anymore. 😆

    • Octopus says:

      Analysis of the above:

      • ISTE says:

        Easy test. Get it to face you and put its arms out at 45 degree from body. Palms facing you.

        If their arms are straight, male. If their arms have a slight angle away from their body then female.

        • Octopus says:

          Forgot about that test. I wonder if xhe would cooperate. 😆

          • Octopus says:

            Upon review of the tape, it appears the arms are straight. It’s a dude. Also humorous, is the way the dude hands the crumpled sign back to the guy, after being informed he is “oppressing a person of color.” Oh, the cognitive dissonance! Lucky his big fat head didn’t explode. 😆

    • Pakimon says:

      Reminds me of the old SNL “Pat” skits. 😆

  22. Fatso's commie eat those vs Trump's knee-highlism says:

    I’m not sure who’s more comical. The lefturd idiots like Chunky or the Never Trumper right-wing precious ponies. George Will’s panty-o-meter is evidently still pegged out at Full On Wadded. Here’s a taste:

    As president-elect, Trump did not know the pedigree and importance of the one-China policy. About such things he can be, if he is willing to be, tutored. It is, however, too late to rectify this defect: He lacks what T.S. Eliot called a sense “not only of the pastness of the past, but of its presence.” His fathomless lack of interest in America’s path to the present and his limitless gullibility leave him susceptible to being blown about by gusts of factoids that cling like lint to a disorderly mind.

    Oh brother. Go change your tampon George.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/trump-has-a-dangerous-disability/2017/05/03/56ca6118-2f6b-11e7-9534-00e4656c22aa_story.html?utm_term=.0ea8933220d1

  23. Fatso's commie eat those vs Trump's knee-highlism says:

    In case there was any doubt that they’re just actors on a TV show:

    http://pagesix.com/2017/05/04/joe-scarborough-and-mika-brzezinski-are-engaged/

    • Arachne says:

      I’m sure all 15 of his viewers are ecstatic. Hee. Didn’t Trump HINT at this last year and people snarked at him for it?

    • rightymouse says:

      Joe is a Republican. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Not.

  24. Octopus says:

    Man, I’m so sorry I missed this bash. Must have been fire. Look at all that smokin’ hot model ass! Yachts to jump off, into blue blue ocean. Gourmet food. An incredible lineup of music acts. Shut up and take my money!

  25. […] A commenter downstairs opined that Charles Johnson’s reported 37.7k Twitter followers are mostly bots, so we decided to look into it. The results so far: I don’t know Babs, but I do know this. As of January 2013 9.5% were fake according to TwitterAudit. […]