Charles Johnson’s Magical Jazzy Science Fail

global-wtf-charles-johnson-1

Whoa. That’s some heavy-duty non-scientific speculation there, Charles. Anthropogenic Global Warming and subsequent catastrophe will be triggered by a political party in the U.S.? The GOP has that power? Awesome.

Charles, if all the icebergs and sea ice melted, sea levels would remain the same due to displacement, so they don’t count. Since water freezes and melts at 32 degrees Foster, polar temps would need to exceed that point and stay there for thousands of years before enough land ice runoff trickled into the oceans and put Culver City under water. If that happens, most habitable regions of the globe will turn into Papa John’s Pizza ovens with no delivery available… hundreds of years from now. Maybe.

Kind of a long shot there, Charles, since Mr. Sun appears to be in a cooling phase, and he’s the one truly responsible for global climate change, along with the GOP.

But there’s another factor involved. Plate tectonics cause land masses to rise, sink, bend, warp, bulge, tilt and shift. Magma is plastic and has nothing to do with AGW, yet it contributes to the rise and fall of sea levels. Another cause of flooding is coastal erosion, much like what we’re witnessing in real time in Charles Johnson’s brain function. Others have noted the erosion as well:

[BREAKING NEWS: CANADA AND MEXICO ARE GOING TO BE UNDERWATER AFTER TRUMP’S INAUGURATION. FILM AT NEVER.]

And so it goes. Charles, you’re a mess.

[h/t @coopernumpy]

 

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115 Comments on “Charles Johnson’s Magical Jazzy Science Fail”

  1. Bunk X says:

  2. Bunk X says:

    Incoming. Watch your language and ixnay on the UKWpray.

  3. Bunk X says:

  4. Octopus says:

    I think Chunky got the most action of all-time in his sorry Twitter half-life, with this unsubstantiated libel of Ginger. The Left automatically assumes every charge of racism is true, no matter who is involved, as long as it’s a gross smear on Trump. You might have finally found that acorn, Blind Pig Fatass. 😆

    Don’t get excited about “making it big,” though. Even Twitter hasn’t figured out how to make money with Twitter. Your begging bowls pinned permanently to the top of your feed are pretty telling on that score. 😦

    • Pakimon says:

      Confirmed: Another “exclusive” is set to blow up in Chunkles’ face.

      I’m looking forward to the resulting flailing of chubby arms as he tries to fend off the swarms of angry bees laughing and taunting him for being an idiot. 😆

  5. Octopus says:

    Watched the best football game of the year last night — YAY, Clemson! I thought last year’s college football shootout in the championship game was the best college game I’d seen in many years, but the sequel between these two heavyweights was even better.

    • Arachne says:

      As much of a fan of ‘Bama as I am, I loved seeing Clemson win. GREAT game, fellas, GREAT game.

  6. Pakimon says:

    Satan keeps his whores in Culver City?

    Well… at least one fat ponytailed attention whore. 😆

    Just look at The Chunkster clap his Cheetos dusted hands together in glee because somebody noticed him. 😀

  7. OLT's Knows Who Did It says:

    Man, where’d Gus-Gus get all that sweet Internet last night?

    Some old geezer dude on the block get a new router and make the password “Password”?

    I didn’t know Gus-Gus lived in John Podesta’s neighborhood.

  8. OLT's Knows Who Did It says:

    Just made the evergreen mistake of reading a Politico article.

    Do you think the male-ish writers at Politifact have to cut themselves out of their underwear every night before bed? I would think getting your panties twisted up that tight would cut off circulation to your testicles … oh, SNAP! did I just figure something out? DAMN I’m good.

    Advice to Politico writers “assigned” to the male gender by their unfeeling and uncaring cishet parents and their ridiculously unenlightened and archaic XY chromosomal pattern (that’s the one where the tickly stuff hangs on the outside, kids): Go “commando” (I know that’s hawkish, but we need to avoid “Injun style”, which is racist) so you keep the blood flowing to those symbols of oppression until you can get them (a) surgically removed (b) learn to tuck ’em in your crack until you look like a Ken doll or (c) form a non-traditional consensual political/economical/sexual union with a feminist who will dry and preserve them for you.

  9. rightymouse says:

    Oh, dear. It’s going to be another crazy day for Gussy.

  10. rightymouse says:

    What? No retweets? Am shocked!! 😯

  11. rightymouse says:

  12. rightymouse says:

  13. rightymouse says:

  14. rightymouse says:

    A Gussy retweet.

    Yeah. Sure.

  15. Octopus says:

    Ahem…

  16. Octopus says:

    Hey, Chunky! Update your 15-year-old avatar with one that’s only about 8 years old by now. Here you go:

  17. Octopus says:

    An interesting quandary for Garage Boy. Wants to play the skeptic, but there’s the whole “Climate Denial Holocaust Skeptic” thing hanging over his head, from Chunky McDumbth. Time for some impromptu garage gymnastics!

    I’m skeptical of skeptics who cometh with anecdotal “evidence.”
    35 minutes ago
    I’m an anti-vaxxer skeptic.
    36 minutes ago
    RT @RadioFreeTom: To say that some parents believe strongly that vaccines caused their child’s autism is not a reason to therefore agree wi…
    36 minutes ago
    Breast exam skeptic.
    38 minutes ago
    Bandaid and leg cast skeptic.
    39 minutes ago
    Defibrillator skeptic.
    40 minutes ago
    Vaccine skeptic. Is that like a Civil War skeptic?
    44 minutes ago

    • Octopus says:

      Couldn’t help noticing, as well, that the Breitbart is chock-a-block with advertisements. Now, I’m a little confused about that, because Chunky has been proclaiming them deader than dead, with every advertiser in the world dropping them for being so Nazi and stuff. Maybe these are all Nazi companies, now? Chunky, you go ahead and vet them all. I’ll wait.

  18. Octopus says:

    😆

    • rightymouse says:

      I have never seen that guy before (at least I don’t think I have). Spot on.

      • Octopus says:

        My first sighting as well. I liked this one a lot. 🙂

        • KGB says:

          I check on the Rebel Media Youtube page at least once a day. Great content from Gavin, Ezra Levant and others. And of course Laura Southern is oh so easy on the eyes, as well as being right as rain.

  19. Octopus says:

    http://tammybruce.com/2017/01/obamas-getting-wall-built-around-their-new-dc-home.html

    A wall for me, but not for thee. Oh, and you’re paying for it, America. Wait until you see my other house in Hawaii, bitches. 😆

  20. rightymouse says:

    Goodness. Gussy must have found out stuff about Billary. 😯

  21. JimboXL says:

    Just wait til the sun goes red giant and burns our planet up, that’ll show all those Republicans that doubted gloobal warming. People actually follow that guy on twitter, what is wrong with them?

    • Octopus says:

      WAY before the red giant thing happens, like in the next few thousand years, we’re going to enter another Ice Age unless we can figure out how to stop it. Right now, given our vast befuddlement and chicanery about the whole subject of the planet’s climate, it seems very unlikely we’ll get it together in time. But, a lot can happen quickly, when breakthroughs are made. Just ask Chunky, about the time he was forcedby his abject poverty to buy the cheapest brand of toilet paper at the Dollar Store. Yikes!

  22. Octopus says:

    The Left is fantasizing about Trump enjoying golden showers. God, these people are despicable losers. 😆

  23. Octopus says:

    I can’t wait to read the breathless descriptions of his ghostwritten brilliant last speech, from the horrible, self-identified Liberal MSM. But really, I’m just counting the minutes until this empty-suit is ushered off the premises. I know it’s soon, but it’s not soon enough for my liking.

    • Bunk X says:

      Did anyone else notice the echo fabrication? Anyone listening to the audio alone would assume he was speaking from the top of Mount Olympus.

      • ISpeakJive says:

        Did notice that. Also noticed the audience wasn’t polite enough to just be quiet and listen.

        • Bunk X says:

          Bet that was canned cheering, too.

          • Octopus says:

            They should have had him deliver his teleprompted glurge from the same Greek columned set he once had built for himself, way back in 2008. Only now it’s all pillaged, scorched and ruined, as occurred to ancient Greece itself. And modern Greece’s economy, which the Unicorn Messiah strove to emulate.

            Get. Him. OUT! 😆

  24. Octopus says:

    See, that’s just a bad poo-joke. You aren’t funny, Chunky. Not intentionally. Never have been, never will be.

  25. Octopus says:

    http://www.judicialwatch.org/blog/2017/01/airport-shooter-converted-islam-identified-aashiq-hammad-years-joining-army/

    Well, well…how about that? Guess the media narrative has to take a turn for the racist, now that this shooter turns out to be another Jihad Johnny.

    Quick, let’s start a story about Trump being blackmailed by Russia about golden showers. That’ll fool America!

    Scum. We’re onto you fuckers.

    ——————————————————-
    The Ft. Lauderdale Airport shooter is a Muslim convert who years before joining the U.S. Army took on an Islamic name (Aashiq Hammad), downloaded terrorist propaganda and recorded Islamic religious music online, according to public records dug up by the investigative news site of an award-winning, California journalist. This is pertinent information that the Obama administration apparently wants to keep quiet, bringing up memories of the Benghazi cover up, in which the president and his cohorts knowingly lied to conceal that Islamic terrorists attacked the U.S. Special Mission in Libya.

    Information is slowly trickling out that links the Ft. Lauderdale Airport shooter to radical Islam while the official story from authorities is that the gunman is a mentally ill, Hispanic Army veteran named Esteban Santiago that became unhinged after a tour in Iraq. Only one mainstream media outlet mentions the possibility of Santiago’s “jihadist identity,” burying it in a piece about New York possibly being his initial target. A paragraph deep in the story mentions that investigators recovered Santiago’s computer from a pawn shop and the FBI is examining it to determine whether he created a “jihadist identity for himself using the name Aashiq Hammad…” The reset of the traditional mainstream media coverage promotes the government rhetoric that omits any ties to terrorism even though early on a photo surfaced of Santiago making an ISIS salute while wearing a keffiyeh, a Palestinian Arab scarf.

    The public records uncovered in the days after the massacre suggest Santiago (Hammad) is a radical Islamic terrorist that’s seriously committed to Islam. Besides taking on a Muslim name, he recorded three Islamic religious songs, including the Muslim declaration faith (“there is no God but Allah and Muhammad is his messenger”) known as the Shahada. He also posted a thread about downloading propaganda videos from Islamic terrorists on a weapons and explosives forum. The investigative news site that unearthed this disturbing information connected the dots between Santiago, who is of Puerto Rican descent, and Hammad, an identity he created in 2007.

    This week a prominent Ft. Lauderdale businessman and longtime resident addressed a letter to the city’s mayor and commissioners blasting county and federal officials for covering up that “Aashiq Hammad, not Esteban Santiago, attacked our city and county.” The businessman, respected Ft. Lauderdale real estate entrepreneur Jim Morlock, specifically names Broward County’s elected sheriff Scott Israel, Florida senator Bill Nelson, the first to identify Santiago as the shooter on national television, and congressman Debbie Wasserman Schultz, ousted last summer as Democratic National Committee (DNC) chair over a scandalous plot to damage Bernie Sanders during the primary.

    “Since when does a US Senator (Bill Nelson), not law enforcement, be the one to so quickly release this terrorist’s Hispanic name but nothing about his more relevant Islamic background?” the letter asks. Obama must have told Sen. Nelson to keep this from looking like a Muslim Terrorist attack during the last 12 days of his watch. Bad for his legacy.” Morlock goes on to state that it’s “better to portray this atrocity as white Hispanic Alaskan mental Iraq war vet gun violence.” The real estate entrepreneur proceeds to reveal that Santiago lives in walking distance to the only mosque in Alaska, was radicalized before he entered the military and was knowingly allowed to serve despite his Islamic sympathies thanks to “Obama’s PC military.”

    The letter poses interesting questions, including why this Muslim terrorist chose Ft. Lauderdale out of all the nation’s airports and who Santiago knows in Broward county, which has a large and growing Islamic community. In 2015 Judicial Watch obtained records from the Florida Department of Law Enforcement (FDLE) that show and Al Qaeda terrorist who helped plan several U.S. attacks lived in Broward County and graduated from the local community college with a degree in computer engineering. His name is Adnan G. El Shukrijumah, but he also had a Hispanic identity, Javier Robles, and for years he appeared on the FBI’s most wanted list. Back in 2012 Judicial Watch reported on a terrorist front group’s demands that Broward County public schools close twice a year to celebrate Islamic holy days, illustrating the influence that Muslims have in the region.

  26. Octopus says:

    Stephen King is a true horror of a person. Grow up, you ass! 😆

  27. Minnow-redux says:

    It is amazing how now, suddenly, all of the liberal pukes in Liberal Puke Land are now so “concerned” with unproven Trump smears about what he is supposed to have done!?

    When, for the past eight years, they have ignored the multitude of illegal and horrible things that Obama ACTUALLY HAS DONE.

    Hypocrisy, thy name is Liberal.

  28. kbdabear says:

    Toot’s losing streak continues!

    • Bunk X says:

      4Chan reports that Michelle Obama has a small penis. His name is Barack.
      [Confirmed by Snopes.]

    • Octopus says:

      The Streak™ is intact! 😆

      How does he manage to be wrong about everything, day after day, month after month, year after year? It’s uncanny. A little spooky, to be honest.

  29. Bunk X says:

    I bet this guy got his funding. Charles needs more than one.

  30. Octopus says:

    Jesus wept.

  31. Octopus says:

    WHICH WERE ALL TRUE!!

    Unlike this gross, stupid lie that only idiotic leftist children would believe. Like you, Fatass.

    Chunky furiously backpedaling is a sight to behold, as he always gets tripped up by his own clumsy feet and hits the pavement hard.

  32. Octopus says:

    Ah, the glorious days of November! This gem came from one of Stephen Colbert’s producers.

    Colbert’s Election Night Special is still around, btw, if your schadenboner needs a little pick-me-up:

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!1!

  33. Pakimon says:

    Look at Chunkles emote all over Twitter.

    To think he cratered his blog and his reputation to hop on the Obama bandwagon in an effort to cashi on some big bucks.

    Alas… eight years later the corpulent ponytailed TwitterDickhead is reduced to cyber-panhandling 24/7.

    Protip: If you want to cash in on big bucks, Run a conservative blog. Conservatives usually have jobs and therefore more money. Liberals are usually unemployed and therefore have no money. It ain’t rocket science. 😀

    • Octopus says:

      It’s not rocket science, it’s brain surgery. Wherein the person leaving the conservative blogosphere for the moonbat side has 90% of his brain removed and replaced with pot-laced gummy bears.

  34. Perfect Symbolism… Obama’s Farewell Address followed by…’The Wall.’

    • OLT's Knows Who Did It says:

      Or the Dem* version of the Trump presidency “The Big Bang Theory”.

      *Now that they hate those awful Commies the Russkies again

  35. Octopus says:

    http://www.frontpagemag.com/fpm/265429/farewell-radical-chief-matthew-vadum

    Best review of the echo-chamber speech I’ve seen. Pulls no punches. 🙂

  36. Octopus says:

    😆

  37. Octopus says:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4107258/U2-delays-new-album-release-election-Donald-Trump.html

    Tax-dodging tossers need to rewrite new songs, removing worshipful lyrics about President Shrillary and inserting strident denunciations of Trump. Should take about ten minutes. 😆

  38. OLT's Knows Who Did It says:

    I think President Obama made a lot of very good points in his speech. Points about working together, not having a double standard, etc. All very valid criticisms of the current political scene.

    It’s a shame he has never acted on any of them.

    It’s a shame he’s never taken his own advice.

    Just think where we might be if, as POTUS, he had actually governed as intended in the Constitution instead of running a Democrat power-entrenchment racket for 8 years.

  39. OLT's Knows Who Did It says:

    Suddenly I am seeing the antique phrase “gaslighting” all over the Progosphere.

    Kids, could you PLEASE make your marching orders a little LESS uniform, just to humor us unwashed heathens about your claims of grassroots uprisings?

    I mean, come on! This clumsy crap makes you look like a bunch of hyper-indoctrinated 20-somethings with inbred college degrees. You know, complete tools parroting the nonsense they were fed by ’60’s leftovers as part of a plan to destroy and replace US democracy. And that’s a whack-job conspiracy theory of the super-duper-far-alt-right. Surely you just LOOK exactly like what they claim by doing all the stuff outlined in Alinsky’s book, but this is all coincidental. You’re all really super-smart independent thinkers. Right? RIGHT???

  40. Octopus says:

    Scumbag-Editor of Buzzfeed explains why it’s okay for him to scrap all pretense of journalistic ethics and integrity, as long as it’s something that might possibly hurt Trump. It turns out to be a laughable piece of nonsense only the brain-dead would believe, like Chunky, but they tried.

    • Bunk X says:

      “…characteristic ferocious reporting…”
      I think that means, “making up shit, throwing it and hoping it sticks.”

  41. Octopus says:

    Fatass is freaking out, after the way Trump crushed the press conference today, making a mockery of the idiotic “dossier” and the Left’s fascination with golden showers. 😆

    To be honest, I would have been much more likely to believe the sordid story if it had come from Wikileaks.

  42. ISpeakJive says:

    Ivanka Trump is restructuring her equity in the Trump Org to get fixed payments. So any money she gets has no connection to profits or losses. This is really smart. Assuming they make enough money to keep paying her. If they don’t, I don’t know what happens. But this is way better than having to sell everything off and walk away.

  43. Octopus says:

    Pssst! Hey, Chunky…you wanna get out there with this scoop. Tweet it. Tweet it now!

  44. Octopus says:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4108960/How-Trump-s-nemesis-John-McCain-kicked-Kremlin-memo-scandal-handing-dossier-FBI-sending-emissary-abroad-collect-it.html

    John Frickin’ McCain sent the fake dossier to the Feebs. God almighty. Retire, you senile, crooked old coot. 😆

    • rightymouse says:

      Gawd. What the eff was McCain thinking?? He should absolutely retire. Also Lindsey Graham.

    • Be a dick for Jeezuz says:

      He was nicer to Obungle when he was running against him. I’m pretty sure he voted for him.

  45. rightymouse says:

    Hey! Fatso! Here’s your soul mate!!

  46. Be a dick for Jeezuz says:

    Looks like Stompy stomped off early and started posting music when he realized The Donald completely torpedoed both the lying left media and the politicized CIA and that most people were cheering him on.

    • Octopus says:

      It was not a good day for the Fatass. 😆

      …but then, when is the last time he had anything resembling “a good day?” Not since the stiff-arm in ’07, and the Night Of The Long Daggers. Been all downhill ever since. Lot of Shawn Colvin, trying to soothe that massive butthurt.

  47. Octopus says:

    Speaking of massive butthurt, how about this knee-slapper?

    To me, it reads like satire. Nobody could possibly be this far in the bag for such a dreary, smug, failed and cypher-ish empty suit of a man. Then you add in the author’s last name, and it begins to make sense.

    Is the moving van on the way yet? Come on, come on — no need to wait until the last minute.

  48. JimboXL says:

    Darn Obama is still President. This has been the longest 3 weeks in history. He even manages to wear down and slow time itself.

  49. Octopus says:

    …a-a-a-a-and the daily rollercoaster ride begins. 😆