North Korea’s take on the debates
Posted: September 28, 2016 Filed under: Animal Farm Lunacy, Charles "Icarus" Johnson, Little Green Footballs | Tags: Charles "Icarus" Johnson, Charles Foster Johnson, Charles Johnson, Humor, Juche, Little Green Footballs, North Korea 142 CommentsThe Dear Leader Kim Jong-Un has an interesting take on the U.S. election. If Trump is a “lunatic oaf” and Hillary is a “braying she-ass” – how would he refer to Mr. Toot? I would call him a “smelly old gas-bag”.
Those Norks do have a way with words.
Wait til Stompy gets wind of this. Stomp stomp stomp go the chubby feetz!
http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2016/09/breaking-poker-pro-agrees-hillary-sending-hand-signals-debate-moderator-holt/
She also kept looking down. What was that about?
She was afraid her butt-mic had fallen out again.
Her face sure was itchy.
Notes on her podium.
Is this an actual NorK news-feed? I thought it was a parody …
That’s what I thought as well.
It’s the real DPRK news feed.
Lololololol! Nope. Google it. 🙂
No it isn’t. It is a well known parody account on Twitter.
You are correct, it IS a parody account.
Nixon – I am not a crook
Clinton – I did not have sex with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky
Obungle – You can keep your doctor!
Shrillery’s Homey Comey – I am not a weasel
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2016/09/28/comey-cheryl-mills-laptop-contained-some-classified-information.html
Wow. $18 million since Monday.
http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2016/09/boom-trump-campaign-raises-18-million-since-debate/
“On the Internet everyone is a Ph.D”
-Least self-aware white person on Twitter.
Everyone on the Internet is 15 years younger and 200 lbs lighter than they really are. Right Fatso?
She’s a little chubby, but she’s owning it. I’m cool with it, too.
Izzat Ms. Universe?
Wait…is that the infamous Miss Piggy? 😆
She’s one of them. So what.
Am thinking that Kim Jong-Un & Fatso would be great pals, actually. They both hate anyone who disagrees with them. Fatso secretly wishes he could be more like Jong-Un and have his own firing squad, tho. In the meantime, he has to settle for “FUCK YOU” and exercising his block finger/button.
Did Trump “lose” the debate?
I thought he had won until the “unbiased media” weighed in and said he lost because blah blah etc.
And now “online” polls are supposedly meaningless (unless Shrillery is ahead) because the only people who vote in online polls are brain dead idiots who couldn’t find their collective asses with both hands (unless Shrillery is ahead in the online poll in question in which in that case the participants are upstanding folk speaking “Truth to Power™ and voicing their determination to thwart the Trump menace).
Sorry for the snark but I was just over at Ace’s and I’m really getting weary of his “NeverTrump” bullshit bleeding through his facade of “I’ll support Trump even though he sucks but Hillary would be kinda sorta worse even though if she won I wouldn’t mind because then I could say I told you so.”
Ace is a rabid “NeverTrumper” who is only tepidly supporting Trump because his blog almost imploded over the mutiny stemming from when he was openly and rabidly honking his NeverTrump status.
He’s already lost at least one long time moderator and his ongoing threats of going “Charles Johnson” and banning commenters without warning for being “confrontational” against NeverTrumper imbeciles has prompted me to delete the Ace of Spades bookmark.
Why am I ranting like this?!
I don’t know!!!
Just reading Ace’s bullshit tonight really struck my last nerve.
It was like the moment years ago when I went to LGF and finally said to myself, “Fuck this! Charles Johnson has gone off the rails! I’m done!”
So in with that memory in mind, all I can say is….
Fuck Ace in his fat NeverTrump ewok ass with a humongous, blue ribbon award winning cucumber!
There… I feel much better. 😀
Hillary’s left eye was darker.
She also looked down a lot.
Does she have a blue contact lens in that eye?
Papa Strutt’s steel blue eye went brown due to dry macular degeneration, didn’t mention that he’d lost his sight in that eye until it was too late to fix.
I totally hear you on Ace, but I’m still hanging in there with him for now — he still cracks me up on a daily basis with at least one great line. He’s been vicious on Shrillary, too. I see him as a young man going through a bit of change o’ life, as he’s trying to lose weight and shed some of the bitterness and angst that has pervaded the Right for the past however many years. I don’t blame him for that last part — I’m doing the same, and it isn’t easy. Life is too short to be mad all the time, though. Also, for all his merits in the current campaign comparison, Trump is still pretty Trump-y, you have to admit. 😆
Wow. I should’ve invoked The Ironfist Rule on myself last night.
Sorry about that folks.
One addendum to the Iron Fist Rule, not often cited, is that you usually don’t know you’ve violated the Rule until the next morning. This takes us into the related chapter on “Hangovers and Remorse,” which is a very boring and stupid chapter designed to take all the fun out of drinking. 😡
Bunk’s Corollary to The Iron Fist Rule:
If you can’t retract immediately, ignore, and all will be forgotten within 48 hours.
https://tackyraccoons.com/2015/01/11/photos-of-people-standing-by-a-tv/#jp-carousel-47016
I remember when a TV on a cart was the height of cool and convenience. I mean, you could watch TV anywhere! 😯
Extension cords were State-Of-The-Art.
MUST-SEE TV!!1! 😆
Note: I finally stopped watching this shitshow last year, after several years of ff’ing through most of it looking for the one funny bit they coughed up occasionally. If something is funny, it will be all over the internet, promoted by NBC minions and whatnot. No need to tax one’s DVR.
Alec Baldwin Joins ‘S.N.L.’ as Donald Trump
By JOHN KOBLIN
SEPT. 28, 2016
“Saturday Night Live” has found its Donald Trump, and it’s a performer who is plenty familiar with the show.
Alec Baldwin has been tapped to take on the role of Mr. Trump, according to an NBC spokeswoman.
Mr. Baldwin will debut as Mr. Trump for the “S.N.L.” premiere on Saturday. Kate McKinnon, who won an Emmy for best supporting actress in a comedy for her work on the show, will return in her role as Hillary Clinton. Previously, Darrell Hammond and Taran Killam played Mr. Trump on the show.
During recent election cycles, “S.N.L.” has turned to people outside of its cast for key appointments. Tina Fey was cast as Sarah Palin in the 2008 election, even though she had left the show. And Larry David was cast as Bernie Sanders last season, and received rave reviews for the performance.
“S.N.L.” posted a teaser for the program. Though Mr. Baldwin does not utter a word, he purses his lips in Trumpesque fashion as he is outfitted with the candidate’s signature hair style.
Mr. Baldwin has been the host of “Saturday Night Live’’ 16 times, the most of any person in the 41-year history of the show.
If Baldwin is coming on the show to actually BE Trump throughout it then this is going to be an NBC/SNL kneecapper through and through. No reason for anyone to watch except Shrillerybots.
This whole season will be devoted to destroying Trump. Luckily, viewership is in steep decline, the worse the show gets. And it gets worse every year, running on fumes since Assface Tina Fey became the “star.”
You should know about flushing one’s self down the toilet Stompy.
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2016/09/29/gofundme-shuts-down-page-for-mom-charged-in-her-baby-death.html
Shouldn’t GoFundMe also shut down Stompy Chubbyfeetz’ begging basket? He murdered his own website and the remaining husk can’t produce any money for him now. Hence his begging with no good or noble cause. His cause is “I gots bills and these GOP hatin’ posts ain’t gonna post themselves”. He’s also a fraud because he put it under the category of Art. He’s not an artist and his website is only about hatred of conservatives. Of course, he could say LGF is an experiment in what happens when a blogger changes every single political and ideological position exactly 180 degrees in a span of weeks and pretends it didn’t happen. You could call it some kind of weird performance art. But Stompy’s not that clever.
Some people’s lives are seemingly meant to serve mainly as an example to other people, on how NOT to live. Chunky is a shining example of this cosmic phenomenon. Therefore we shouldn’t shut him down, so he can continue to provide guidance in this bizarro way.
“L.A. Times Tracking Poll: Donald Trump Ahead After Debate”
The libs are saying she won? Won what?
http://www.breitbart.com/2016-presidential-race/2016/09/29/l-times-tracking-poll-donald-trump-ahead-debate/
Dumb libs, they confuse scripted nonsense for winning.
He’s both ahead 5 points and behind 6 points today! Don’t you love polls?
http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2016/09/29/muslim-reformer-mohammad-viewed-violent-terrorist/
The lady’s got her head screwed on straight. If Stompy sees this he will go into an apoplectic rage. And imagine himself crushing her with his stompy chubby feetz for being a racist Islamophobe against the great and perfect Religion of Peace.
Paleostinians naturally rage against any extension of dignity to the family and memory of Shimon Peres from Mamoud Abbas. Naturally they use Twitter to insult Abbas and call Peres a butcher and a murderer for defending his people against their perennially intransigent terrorism and militarism.
http://www.breitbart.com/jerusalem/2016/09/28/palestinians-slam-abbas-extending-condolences-peres-family/
Twitter will do nothing since they aren’t dangerous conservatives making jokes.
Gus apparently thinks this is real clever stuff. Hmmm things you might do if you were trying to lose an election. How about…..
Start a pay to play scheme while head of State to shake down foreign powers into your fake foundation slush fund and paying exhorbitant speaking fees to your crooked ex Prez fake husband.
Run your emails from your home bathroom outside the gov’t firewalls to be able to delete the evidence of corruption. Against the law? Who fucking cares?
Tell a big alternate lie to the American people about how the first Ambassador and other diplomatic staff were murdered by Islamist terrorists. Instead blame it on a goofy video causing a riot and not caring that people will be able to spot the audacious lie later. Never apologize to the victim’s families for having lied to their faces. Instead insult them by saying they misunderstood.
House classified information on your home bathroom server. Send it to any fucking body you fucking well feel like.
Have a bunch of unauthorized mobile devices while head of State dept. Have your minions smash ’em with a hammer later!!
Be under FBI investigation for most of the year before the election. Be publicly called a stupid, clueless lying idiot instead of a felon by the FBI director on national TV. Then call it WINNING!
Avoid the press like the plague so they can’t ask you specific questions about your crimes and your constantly changing story trying to explain them away.
Attack your opponent as anti-women while married to a man that exposes himself, does unwanted advances and rapes women. In addition to making your marriage a sham by cheating with countless floozys and sluts even while in office as Preezydunce. And also goes on sex trips with his cronies to a private island stocked with teenaged prostitutes.
Don’t forget putting the film maker in jail for tax issues to make it look like you are battling islamophobia.
That e-mail crap is ticking me off. Yesterday was the second security training I had to take regarding safeguarding documents and security as a govt contractor. I kid you not, one of the “NEVER DO THIS OR YOU COULD BE FINED, LOSE YOUR JOB OR BE PROSECUTED” items that was listed was deleting classified e-mail and/or using personal email to transmit classified data or any data the law states you must keep and safeguard. They might have well put after it “You know, like Hillary Clinton did, but unlike her, you might actually get punished, which is why you are all now being forced to take this training again.” UGH.
Security precautions for classified/secret/top secret & higher should be taken seriously by everyone who has clearances, even if their last name is “Clinton”. She did not.
The people who have spoken out are not kidding when they say that anyone else would be in jail for what she did – I certainly would be. This whole thing is wrong on so many levels its not even funny but people not in government work or are unaware of how security works within the govt probably don’t really get it.
And besides, that’s several hours out of my life doing boring ass, on-line trainings the content of which any second grader should know not to do. Thanks again Hills!!!
If Hillary was a Republican, the libs would be screaming bloody murder over the email scandal. They’re dangerous hypocrites.
Whitney Houston > Shimon Peres
Says Gus who’s a penniless and jobless gimp living in a 3rd floor walk up (limp up) in Denver. And who regales us each winter with his heating woes and how he has to huddle under piles of blankets and he’s still cold. All while preaching pedantically to the rest of Twitter about his very important left wing informed observations and vast wisdom.
Clearly Gus has been called the “Something-something (however old he is) adolescent” by relatives kicking him out of their garages, basements and backyards. He sees it as a very cutting insult. 😆
http://tammybruce.com/2016/09/chelsea-clinton-flies-to-clean-energy-roundtable-on-private-jet.html
The hypocrisy of the whole damn Clinton family is mind-boggling.
http://www.mcclatchydc.com/news/politics-government/election/article104720196.html
Now that’s a heartwarming story! 🙂
Sheriff David A. Clarke is too awesome for words!!! 🙂
Such a stressful day of driving in the rain…I could really use a nice dip in the hot spring, to relax. Is my masseuse here yet? Ah, there she is.
Don’t quit your day job, Fatso. Oh, wait….you don’t have one.
Sometimes the fat guy is really funny. Charles, though, never funny.
#ChubbyFeetStamping
SICK BURN!
Referring to this tweet from Gavin Newsome the gun grabber.
Twitter posting challenge. I will win.
Progressives, libs and BLM can’t even tolerate a Trump hat:
What on Earth are they so worried about? Shrillary kicked Trump’s ass sideways in the debate, and she’s leading in all the polls that matter. Her election is a foregone conclusion.
So again the question is raised, why is the Left so incredibly angry?
Because racist.
The San Diego Sheriff killed an unarmed white guy 2 days before El Cajon.
Not a peep about that.
#MethLivesMatter
Stompy’s peeps. Violent, hateful, unjust, murderous. Thank God the cops showed up to prevent his almost certain hospitalization, if not murder. Loved the puss hole at the end playing pussified victim after he just participated in a lynch mob. Oh boo hoo for me! Give me all your shit honeys.
Honkies – thanks auto fucking moron correct
That happened a few blocks from me, I live in El Cajon.
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2016/09/29/michigan-student-successfully-changes-preferred-pronoun-to-his-majesty-on-class-roster.html
Michigan, My Michigan. The bastion of “Intellectual But Not Smart.”
Is it the lead in the water?
In the bong-water. 🙂
How often does “Chunky’s Pity Party” turn to rueful reminiscing about the massively-popular blog he lucked into, which he utterly destroyed in a fit of pique and jealous rage? Oh, Pamela — why hast thou forsaken me? 😥
#nowplaying something along similar lines of woe…
Time for the sublime Haley to restore Puddles’ spirits:
I’ve seen him live.
AMAZING.
Maybe some of the progressive bloggers should help Hillary find some actual real life supporters, they don’t seem to be anywhere:
Has there ever been a less-popular “winning” candidate? 😯
Let me teach you how to thaw.
Salmon.
Never knew that was the source for Neil Saavedra’s “Fork Report” themesong.
http://kfiam640.iheart.com/onair/fork-report-46274/
Yes!
An upside-down cake would be yummy. After we finish off the rump roast.
The Rev rocks.
Schnockered agin! 😆
Don’t care.
10 hours ago
Whaetver.
10 hours ago
Oh shit/
10 hours ago
Carry on.
10 hours ago
Oh shit.
10 hours ago
Percussion.
10 hours ago
707
10 hours ago
Man up!
10 hours ago
My bullshit is not your bullshit. It’s that simple.
10 hours ago
Little tune for my man in the garage:
Stompy has done his expert political analysis. The billionaire businessman, TV star and now super successful Presidential candidate is somehow deranged. Whereas Stompy who changed his entire political and ideological point of view in a matter of weeks in 2009 and then claimed alternately that he was brainwashed or that everyone changed but him and is now penniless and begging online is totally normal.
Wow. Stompy Chubbyfeetz thinks Alex Jones is smearing the Miss U ho? Her misdeeds and slimey sex for money acts are public knowledge and well documented. WTH has Alex Jones got to do with it? Poor Stompy has gone into Fat Guy Faceplant mode as his candidate’s team makes mistake after mistake.
Is Fatass claiming that she did not appear in a porn film, that she did not drive an attempted murder getaway car or that she did not threaten the judge who sentenced her boyfriend? Is he claiming Jones made it up.
Fatso needs to get out more. Or stop blocking the people on Twitter that can set him straight.
Machado is whining and presenting herself as a victim of Trump and Fatso is eating that up like the good, bloated bottom feeder he’s become.
Poor Harambe! 😦
OCTO!
Trump’s gonna be in Novi, Michigan at 5 today!
Are you going to go????
I did not attend, but I caught the highlights on TV when I got home from work. He was in good form, in front of a packed house.
Shrillbeast is using a chance to meet a rapper that glorifies pushing drugs to get people to register to vote. The guy literally goes by Pusha T. Which is supposed to mean push a ton of coke or crack. Her team are so ignorant and unprofessional they don’t see any problem leaping to the defense of a low character porn whore or using a drug dealer to promote their candidate. Very Preezyduncial.
http://www.weaselzippers.us/298553-hillary-clinton-offers-supporters-chance-to-meet-actual-cocaine-dealer/
Poor black college students are for some reason unable to convince people they’re victims just because they fabricate alleged offenses, hurl racial epithets and profanity themselves and threaten bodily harm and arson. Probably not a good idea for the distinguished “collegians” to insult the cops when they show up either.
http://www.weaselzippers.us/298468-mizzous-legion-of-black-collegians-taunted-white-frat-brothers-as-crackers-and-rednecks-after-reporting-alleged-racial-slurs-to-police/
Off topic:
Octo, Your Tigers are under the scope this weekend. And damn the luck having to play interleague on the final weekend. The Braves are 66 – 92 yet are 9-1 in their last 10 with 3 Ws in a row. I feel for you. I hope the O’s and J’s choke. :>)
Cubs update: They lead the NL Central by; 18.5 over the Cards, 23 over the Pirates, 30.5 over the Brewers, and 34.5 over the Reds. Dominance, my friend. 101 – 57 as I type.
Don’t mean spit if they don’t close the deal. Can’t wait!
Addendum: The Cubs have 57 home wins and 57 overall losses. Mang! Only 24 home losses and 33 on the road with 3 road games to go. So worst case they go 44 -36 on the road. Or maybe 47 – 36.
I should refrain from talking about the Tigs until this ungodly season is over, but I can’t help myself: only half-a-game back, with three left to play. This just got good, and it could be over so damn fast. Like summer. Damn, that was a fast summer.
Cubs looking damn good, Abu. I’d love to see them break through at last…unless it’s against Detroit, of course. Not likely, but you never know.
Look in the mirror, dumbass.
He doesn’t have the self-awareness to realize he’s the least self-aware person on the planet. 😆
Trump’s mic was messed up at the debate. Duh.
http://dailycaller.com/2016/09/30/presidential-debates-admits-trumps-mic-was-messed-up/
LA Times Poll has Trump up by 5+ points! The LA Times for Gaia’s sake!!
http://graphics.latimes.com/usc-presidential-poll-dashboard/
You see her empty campaign centers, tiny rallies, no real supporters anywhere, overwhelming hatred toward her as a politician and any polls favoring her just don’t add up. She is not Obola in terms of likeability for the uninformed masses, she can’t even fake humanity. I can’t imagine anyone is chomping at the bit to get out and vote for her on Election Day, meanwhile people are ready to vote for Trump as soon as possible and want to just get it done.
Has Fatso commented on his moron idol Madcow claiming Bush 41 signed NAFTA? Does she have Jumbo doing her research for her now?
She’s a lying gasbag like Chunky but she’s very successful monetarily, despite having worse ratings than old reruns of “My Friend Flicka.” Talk about hitting the lottery! Her financial success was about being the right moonbat-lesbian at the right time to fill a burning hole, literally and figuratively. She managed to lick the competition for the role and carpetbagged her way to the top of the kitty scratching post.
Forget about “blood diamonds.” The “blood batteries” that are supposed to magically and cleanly (never mind the dirty and dangerous coal and nuclear plants that are required to charge them behind the curtain of political correctness) power the sparky cars into the glorious future, are dependent on mining conditions that would shame a 19th Century British child-labor coalmine baron. Cobalt is radioactive, kids. Ever hear of that? Or don’t they teach you about that in Special Snowflake Constructivist Fem-College?
https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/business/batteries/congo-cobalt-mining-for-lithium-ion-battery/?hpid=hp_rhp-top-table-main_cobaltflipper-916a%3Ahomepage%2Fstory
Remember when Fascist Chunky decided to block and ban anyone who commented “First!” in his lame-ass postings? Yeah, that was pretty funny, and telling about what kind of jackhole he’d revealed himself to be. Here’s a very good defense of First Amending principles:
I never understood why it was such a big deal. It’s just people being enthusiastic, and that theoretically, in a normal world, would be a desirable thing.
In a microworld ruled by a humorless, despotic, peevish dolt, it’s unbearable. 😆
It a beautiful Daturday morning and time for college football!
Today, the Florida Gators hope to redeem themselves for last weeks horrific and mind-bending 4th quarter choke job/meltdown that still make Pakimog twitch and mutter peevishly at very thought of it by hopefully beating Vanderbilt.
Since underboob god has forsaken Pakimog, Pakimog instead unleash overboob with the mighty cleavage god!
Will result be better?
Pakimog hope so. Muttering peevishly make Pakimog tired and crave Cheetos and Mountain Dew. 😆
*Saterdey
She’s in great shape, but there might be a slight shadow of stubble down there. NTTAWWT! 🙂
Good luck to Gators. Wolverines face mighty artisanal-cheese-fed Badgers today, who are fresh off their stomping of Spartans last week. First big test against a quality B1G opponent this year, and some think the Michigan youth will be exposed as not quite ready for the big time. I suspect Harbaugh will have his team ready, and also be ready to open up the playbook for the first time with some tricky wrinkles. The Not-So-Secret Weapon that is Jabrill Peppers will see some double-duty on offense this week. Hoping for some highlight-reel material from our possible Heisman candidate.
Looking at the latest AP NCAA football rankings:
19. San Diego St.
23. Florida
Hmmmm…..
Got milk? 🙂
The Florida meltdown against Tennessee last week really knocked them down in the polls.
Looks like Tennessee did the same thing to Georgia yesterday. They spotted Georgia a 17-0 lead before getting in gear and kicking their ass.
Happy times in good ol’ Rocky Top. 😆
As an aside, I’m looking at the latest USA Today NCAA football rankings:
21. Florida
24. San Diego State
Hmmmm… indeed. 😀
Also on tap, a battle between #4 Michigan and #8 Wisconsin!
Pakimog unleash overboob with the mighty cleavage mojo for Octo because Pakimog is magnanimous and good sport and because the Eagles play the Lions a week from tomorrow so Pakimog build up good will ahead of time because next weekend Pakimog might be tempted to laugh and gloat. 😀
Butt’s a little bony, but the boobs are perfect. 🙂
The Lions are SOL this year (Same Old Lions), but they will always manage to surprise and frustrate fans and bettors by winning games they shouldn’t and losing games they should. I hate them so much. Can they beat the Bad News Bears tomorrow? Of course, and they should win handily, but they won’t. They will choke it up in Chicago. You heard it here first. 😆
I disagree, Octo. Da Bears are a team that finds a way to lose. I’ll be dragging one of my bestest buddies and his 2 sons around a difficult and wet golf course instead of watching the Bears lose.
Draft pick!
Heheh…I hear Cutler’s definitely out tomorrow. Raise the stakes! I think Da Bears will win by 10 pts, with the backup QB having his best game of his life. Detroit’s sketchy defense is missing Ansuh and Levy, so go to Chi-Town, kids. 🙂
GO TEAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That dude is awesome! I remember the story that pic came from:
http://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052748703673604575550340469866422
Alumni Dust Off the Pom-Pons
As ex-cheerleaders return for homecoming, schools hold their breath; ‘we’re not liable’
By HANNAH KARP
Updated Oct. 15, 2010 12:01 a.m. ET
As Michigan faces off against Iowa this weekend in its annual homecoming game, Dick Kimball plans to have two friends pitch him into a backwards summersault on the sidelines.
For his next trick, the onetime Michigan cheerleader will grip one friend by the shoulders and hoist himself into an arm-to-arm handstand. There’s only one move he has axed from his routine this year: the backwards hand-spring.
“I don’t do that anymore because I would be sore for a few days,” said Mr. Kimball, a former diving coach who is 75 years old.
CHEERING THE OLD MAIZE AND BLUE
A group of former University of Michigan cheerleaders shows that just because they’re decades out of school doesn’t mean they can’t still do a decent backflip.
Homecoming—that magical autumn weekend when nostalgic alumni return to their old campus stomping grounds—is turning into a much more compelling, if occasionally terrifying, spectacle of late.
No longer content to lollygag at tailgate picnics or stroll through campus ogling the foliage, a growing number of former cheerleaders, some well into their 80s, are dusting off the pom-pons and squeezing into old uniforms to show today’s college “spirit squads” how it used to be done in the old days.
Many of the classic routines can be difficult to replicate because “most of the girls are a lot bigger now and we all can’t walk the next day,” said 66-year-old Dale Young, a former cheerleader at Texas Christian. But some of the country’s spryer cheerleader alums are showing off tricks that many schools no longer allow their current students to do.
Michigan, which banned students from doing Mr. Kimball’s “toe pitch” stunt years ago, said the school’s not responsible for alumni safety. In 2003, representatives from the University of Georgia had to beg alumnus Curtis Beall not to attempt a back flip off of a trampoline. “I did it in my swimming pool,” said Mr. Beall, who was 81 at the time.
During a commercial break in the second quarter of a 2006 homecoming game against Purdue, a group of two male and two female Iowa alumni cheerleaders attempted an impressive stunt called the “Diamond Head” in which one cheerleader stands on another’s shoulders while gripping the arms of the other two to form a diamond shape.
When the network broadcasting the game, ESPNU, returned to the air, it showed a slow-motion replay of the maneuver. “Look at the smiles on these guys’ faces, getting to relive their glory days,” said Brian Kinchen, one of the game’s announcers.
Darren Everson has the story why senior citizens in their 70’s and 80’s are literally flipping on the sidelines of their college football teams.
But when it came time to dismount, the formation lurched to one side before breaking apart, sending one cheerleader tumbling to the turf and prompting a volley of mockery from the broadcast booth. “You know why you don’t do that?” asked ESPN’s Mr. Kinchen. “You get hurt, exactly like that kid.”
Graying alumni began turning up at schools with their megaphones about 30 years ago, when the country’s first crop of coed cheerleaders began to retire from the work force. Now, with every passing year, more cheerleaders graduate into the ranks of alumni.
The sport itself is also graying: Last season college-football games attracted an average of 1.5 million viewers age 55 and older, up from 1.2 million the season prior, according to Nielsen Co. That group now accounts for nearly half of all college-football viewers.
As so many different generations of cheerleaders crowd the sidelines, differences have emerged on what it is, exactly, that cheerleaders are supposed to do. At UCLA’s homecoming game against Arizona later this month, the Bruins’ current cheerleaders will be vying for the crowd’s attention with more than 100 passionate, pom-pon-wielding alums. Those include 62-year-old Geoffrey Strand, a financial adviser who has been yelling into his megaphone from the sidelines at nearly every game for the past 32 years. While it may not be “cute,” he said his method is far more effective than today’s “coordinated-swimming stuff.”
Debra Tracy, a 44-year-old sales executive who was a member of the UCLA squad in the 1980s, said she thinks today’s cheerleaders “dance like strippers” with their fake eyelashes, skimpy outfits and suggestive dance moves. Ms. Tracy said her team has more of a “girls-next-door” look with white sweaters and choreography inspired by Pee-wee Herman, and that they tend to get more attention than the younger crews.
“We have the ability to laugh at ourselves,” she said.
UCLA’s current spirit director, Mollie Vehling, said she instructs alumni cheerleaders to stay off the stadium microphones, abstain from alcoholic beverages and avoid hassling the visiting team. She also sends out a video demonstration of a suggested routine to prevent anyone from getting too creative.
“I love old people,” Ms. Vehling said. “But I feel strongly that it should be very much student-led inside the Rose Bowl,” which is where UCLA plays its home games.
Are you kidding me? Dick Kimball (75) does a back flip! I hope I am able to walk, much less do a back flip when I am his age.
—David R. Young
As cheerleading continues to morph into a more athletic and competitive sport, many alums say the real goal—trying to fire up the crowd to influence the outcome of the game—has been unnecessarily obscured.
George Henderson, a 66-year-old alumnus of San Jose State who spent years as a professional cheerleader, said he’s known for bringing the crowd to such a high volume that the opposing team’s quarterback can’t call audibles.
“I carry a drum, I roam through the stands, I threaten people’s lives, and I watch the game intensely, leading cheers that are appropriate at the right time,” said Mr. Henderson, who is better known on campus as “Krazy George.”
Across the country, “mature” cheerleaders are popping up in new places. NBA teams including the New Jersey Nets and Miami Heat have recently launched “senior dance teams” that routinely get standing ovations for routines set to hip-hop music. “Sometimes they go out and have a brain freeze—but they’re probably more angry at themselves than we are at them for messing up,” said Petra Pope, the Nets’ vice president of entertainment and event marketing.
When one of these performers messes up, they’re not subjected to the same punishments as younger performers. “We don’t make them give us 20 push-ups,” Ms. Pope said.
In some cases, older cheerleaders say their appearances at homecoming can produce some unexpected benefits. At a recent homecoming game at Georgia, the 88-year-old Mr. Beall said he was minding his own business, strolling around with his family in the now-snug-fitting cheerleading outfit he wore in 1942, when out of nowhere two young female tailgaters in “pretty short shorts” pushed his son and grandson aside and ambushed him with kisses all over his head and neck.
“I was completely flabbergasted,” Mr. Beall recalled. “One of them said she’d always wanted to kiss a bald-headed cheerleader—I guess they’d been drinking.”
(Ed.Note — Four hours later, Mr. Beall received medical attention to relieve his painful erection that refused to stand down)
Write to Hannah Karp at hannah.karp@dowjones.com
Awesome!!!
No shame in their game. 🙂
Us old duffers have to stay spry and fetching, so we can score touchdowns in the Old Folks Home. Or at least return a few kicks. Jump on a fumble occasionally. Dance in the endzone.
Only in Ann Arbor. 🙂
It’s always fun to have a truly superior athlete on your team, no matter what’s going on with the rest of the bunch. The Lions have had Barry Sanders and Megatron. The Tigers have Miguel Cabrera. The Pistons had Isiah Thomas. Charles Woodson was a Heisman-winning freak at Michigan.
Now we have Jabrill Peppers, who hasn’t accomplished nearly as much as any of the above yet, but he’s obviously an electrifying talent who plays both ways. Nothing sexual, preppies — just on the football field. He blows up anything that happens around him on defense, and he’s a threat to go all the way every time he touches the ball when returning kicks or lining up on offense.
Keep calling them pathetic, Fatso. Looks like a lot of them want to write in Sanders. There go Billary’s numbers.
YES! You couldn’t have stated your Fat Master’s foolosophy any better if you’d used one of Obama’s speechwriters, Gus.
Yep!! Amazing ain’t it??
😆
Usual Saturday night here.
Just told my employer to go fuckemselves..
Gave them a month to replace me.
Looking for a new job in Houston. My only qualifications are assshole.
I can help you with that. What level are you?
I want to form an asshole militia. You in?