Would you please f*ck off ASAP?

This exchange on Mr. Toot’s Twitter theater is hilarious.



The master debater is lame!

171 Comments on “Would you please f*ck off ASAP?”

  1. rightymouse says:

  2. pineapple ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

    Hey Fuckface, If you’re confused about what Jabba the Hut looks like, just stand in front of a mirror.

    • OLT's Fucksplaining says:

      A pox on all their houses.

      Fucksplaining – where I take a cute neologism and shove it down some idiot’s virtual throat with all the fucks I don’t give about their inherent knowledge based on their skin pigmentation, etc.

  3. rightymouse says:

    Good grief. He’s still at it.

  4. Arachne says:

    What Fatty is REALLY hoping for is that it creates a stir and Donald Trump directs a comment to him.

    Not gonna happen, Senor Shitcan.

    BTW, tell me dumbass, why don’t you describe the process of giving out press credentials? Why don’t you tell us how many applications are made. What is the time frame. How much information do they even know about the individuals.

    Here’s how I think it went

    “Trump Press Office”
    “I would like to obtain some press credentials for the rally in Podunk, Arkansas please”
    “What’s your affiliation”
    “They are for James Edwards, he’s the host of a radio show on [name of station]
    “Okay please pick them up.”

    So Trump’s organization gave press credentials to a “white supremicist.”
    Meanwhile, Barack Obama turned the Department of Education over to a pedophoile and a NAMBLA supporter. He asked a racist 9/11 Truther to serve as a czar. He had as one of his top communications people a woman who listed MAO as one of those she most admired.

    You’ll have to forgive me if somehow giving a press pass to a man with less than desirable political affiliations is not something I’m going to get worked up about.

  5. TreBob says:

    Does Charles read James Edwards blog and listen to his radio show everyday?

    • Arachne says:

      He read it enough to steal the item re getting the information on the press credentials. He LOVES to make it sound like he has an army of reporters getting stories for him.

  6. Arachne says:

    Fatty Carbuncle believes this is going to be the big story that gets him back on top. Dude, people IN the media business know that giving press credentials to a campaign event is not considered any sort of endorsement – they don’t VET the reporters and those that ask for credentials. And if you notice, they are roped off and watched by the Secret Service.

    Does anyone think that if a reporter from some ISIS supporting blog asking for and getting press credentials from Hillary’s campaign would be construed as her being supportive of violent jihad? Of course not.

    A minor NBC writer thinks it’s a story. I think if you presented this to the anchor, his response would be “get the eff out of here.”

  7. Arachne says:

    From “The National Memo”

    “When asked for comment, Trump campaign spokesperson Hope Hicks said in an email that the campaign provided press credentials to “everyone that requested access to the event,” including “close to 200 reporters.”

    Of course, in true liberal fashion, this rag goes on to say how the Trump campaign blocked the Des Moines Register, Univision and Buzzfeed from press events: In July, reporters from the Des Moines Register were prevented from covering a Trump event after their paper published an editorial calling for Mr. Trump to leave the race. In October, Jorge Ramos and his Univision staff were prevented from covering a Trump event because Trump was suing Univision at the time. A Buzzfeed reporter was denied entry to a Trump event in November because he had previously stepped outside of the designated “press pen.”

    The operative word in all of these examples is the use of the word “AFTER.” There is no indication that the Trump campaign had had any dealings with James Edwards prior to his request for the press credentials.

    To quote YOU, Fatass — a “nothing burger.” This is not “smoking memo” 2.0.

  8. TreBob says:

    Wow, after pathetically whining and begging to every site that posted the James Edwards bit, Charles will feel like he’s getting the attention he so desperately craves.

    Guess one of his hands will be quite busy today too. ):-)

    • Arachne says:

      It’s a story that will be forgotten by Friday.
      I’ll tell you what breaking a story is, Fatass.
      A blonde nobody doing research on you and finding out you appropriated the work of someone else and took all the credit and all the fame for it.
      You should be really, really grateful I’m a nobody.

  9. Arachne says:

    Oh and shucks, Fatass.
    Nothing to do with this story is trending on Twitter.

  10. Minnow says:

    Coyotes ripped my 14-year old Jack Russell Terrier to shreds and ate her today. I am devastated.

  11. Arachne says:

    The question no one is asking is where did Fatso get it? He had no operative on the ground. What he doesn’t want to admit is that he got it from EDWARDS himself. Either from reading his blog or a tweet.

    • Octopus says:

      The five people who saw his list of spam-tweets about this nothingburger will be so impressed!

      …and I’ll be impressed when one of them ponies up a nickel for his dead-as-a-dirtnap GoFundMe. Not going to hold my breath on that one. We’ve been hurt before, right, Chunky?

  12. Pakimon says:

    Mexican Air Force Chick?

    I didn’t know if Mexico even had an air force.

    Maybe I misread and she’s a chick of Mexican descent who’s in the U.S. Air Force.

    Does it matter?

    Either way, I like the way she smacks His Royal Chunkiness upside the head. 😆

  13. JimboXL says:

    Do you really need lessons on racism from someone who indicated Killer Mike was brought in to the Sanders campaign in order to appeal to African Americans? Can an African American ever do anything because they just want to in the progressive’s world, or are they always the pawn?

  14. Abu No Split Infinitive. Nope. says:

    It’s NHL Rivalry Night as the Detroit Red Wings host the reigning Stanley Cup Champion Chicago Blackhawks. Puck drops in about 40 mins. Hopefully my virtual friend Octo has his protective cup on tonight (I only take mine off to shower, but that’s me). It’ll be fun as these two decades-long rivals only play twice a year now that Detroit was moved to the Eastern Conf.
    The two teams meet again Sunday in Rahm’s Murder City, Chicago.

    And the Cubs are finally ready to compete for a World Series. Pinch me!!!111!1!!

    • Octopus says:

      Glad I didn’t have to watch that one, Abu. I’m in Miami tonight, and my hotel doesn’t have NBCSN. Good call!

  15. Salamambo says:

    Master Debater or Masturbater?

  16. Juan Epstein says:

    Yes! Made the Guardian!

    He’s back baby!

    Don’t fuck it up, Charles!

    • Arachne says:

      The credit was added almost as an afterthought at the very BOTTOM of the article. I doubt any of the liberals read that far.

  17. pineapple ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

    Fatso is butthurt.

    • Octopus says:


      The portly loseur posts a response from the ultra-sensitive watchdogs of lefty-sjw-paradise twitter, basically calling him a whiny ninnymuggins, and telling him to tough it out. 😆

      • pineapple ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

        Toot said:

        “I was stalked by someone who took a picture from a public sidewalk of a place I lived 10 years ago!!!!!!”

        “HELP ME HELP ME PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!11!”

        What a pussy.

        • pineapple ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

          Wrong thread.

          So post a video.

          If any of y’all liked Emerson Lake and Palmer…… Triumvirat was a band that could out ELP… ELP.

    • Because olo says:

      Meanwhile Andie, the cop’s wife, got SWATed by some Twitter weirdo real stalker, and Toot’s trying to pretend he has stalkers.

      Jeez, Toot. She’s got more balls than you would ever dream of having.

    • Pakimon says:

      and it is massive… And stinging! 😆

  18. Plus her name’s Andie so she probably looks like this

    Way to go Chunk. Yet another pretty lady you’ve attacked and pulled her ponytail. You’re a regular James Lipton.

    • Chunk would call this guy a white supremacist.

    • Octopus says:

      I just sent that to our old au pair in Sweden, to see what she thinks. I’ll let you know if she responds. She might be a moonbat, as she is a teacher, and Swedish, but she’s also a smart individualist raising a son on her own, so she might have a thoughtful perspective.

      • Pakimon says:

        Pakimog no know what swedish “au pair” is so Pakimog make guess! 😀

        • Octopus says:

          You nailed it, Pak. 🙂

          • OLT's Buying Nontoxic Paint Remover and a Glove Sponge says:

            Au, that’s a pair.

            That poor child can’t afford clothing and has to warm herself with paint.

            She can be a refugee at my house, which will free up Sweden to take in six more Syrian men of fighting age.


        • Because olo says:

          There’s days in Sweden, that’s referred to as “cat meat”. In Arabic.

  19. Arachne says:

    The attempts to make this a big story are falling flat. As was pointed out, if you asked for press credentials for the event, you got them. They had over 200 requests – you cannot screen them all, nor should you. Press is press. You lose again, Chunkster. And while we’re at it, I seriously doubt that anyone has looked closely into who is getting press credentials from the Clinton or Sanders campaigns. What if Edwards got credentials there? Or how about the U.S. Communist newspaper?

    And Edwards is claiming that he had a “sit down” interview with Donald Trump Jr. that he is going to broadcast on Saturday. Trump campaign is denying and frankly, Don Jr. seems a good enough sort of guy who would not knowingly sit down with an interviewer espousing Edwards’ views. I smell shenanigans.

  20. ISpeakJive says:

    Speaking of white males an’ shit:

    • This one should also be made mandatory viewing material in hiskools across the nation.

      • Arachne says:

        I didn’t know about the machinations to get the Arthur Ashe award – how fucking despicable was that. I consider Jenner a mental case anyway – I don’t think he’s transgender – he’s a friggin’ transvestite that was super happy to get to wear the girly clothes. He is attracted to women and calls himself “heterosexual” which means he still identifies as being a “guy.”

        Call me when he cuts his dick off. I’ll bet my 401K he never does.

        • rightymouse says:

          He’s made a point of saying he doesn’t want to go full female, so yeah…I’m with you. I’d be more impressed by his ‘courage’ if he gets his dick cut off.

  21. Arachne says:

    BTW, unless I missed it – did Fatso get any TV and/or radio appearances out of this?
    I wonder…..do you think the fact that several OUTLETS have publicly chastised him on Twitter for appropriating their stuff without acknowledgement might have led to everyone ignoring his pathetic cries for credit yesterday?

    MMFA and Talking Points Memo (who are aligned) gave him credit but frankly no one considers them informed sources.

  22. Not sure exactly why Romney, after not having much to say about Obungle for 4 years is now coming out to trash talk the Repub lead candidate. The Shrilldebeast will definitely put it in campaign ads. And Romney’s about to get lambasted by Trump. He’s already Tweeted that Romney’s just a sore loser and inept.

    • ISpeakJive says:

      Yeah, I don’t get it either.

      Every single offense they accuse Trump of committing they are doing themselves, just in a bit more “polite” manner.

      An insult is an insult whether you are Tony Soprano or Winston Churchill.

  23. Trump’s trashing Mitt now at a live rally in Maine.

    Seemed to disappear at the end of his campaign.
    Was on his knees begging Trump for his support. So you see how loyal he is. LOL!
    Terrible campaign manager.
    Couldn’t beat a failed candidate.
    Mitt’s a choke artist.

  24. After much careful observation and experience, I’ve come to the conclusion that orange eggs are often the worst eggs.
    1 hour ago

    This is why he’s doing so well on the web.

  25. Oh brother. Of course people are digging this stuff up to make Romney look like a fool.

  26. pineapple ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

    It was funny as hell. I laughed out loud.

  27. pineapple ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

    “Justice Dept. grants immunity to staffer who set up Clinton email server”.


    I understand that they don’t give out immunity willy nilly unless they are seriously going after a bigger fish. This guy invoked the 5th before.

    Please dear God…….. I want to see Shillary do the perp walk.

    • Could her shenanigans be considered treason or sedition? Would prefer to see her swing at the end of a rope.

    • rightymouse says:

      I want to see her do the perp walk too.

      William Safire, among many notables, hated her guts.


      • ISpeakJive says:

        She’s crooked. Some people just are.

        That’s all we need is another decade of that crap.

        • rightymouse says:

          We all need to stick together this election. Why the GOP establishment is trying to tear us apart is mind-boggling. All Romney’s horrible speech did was to entrench me (and probably many others) for Cruz or Trump.

          • ISpeakJive says:

            Sometimes I wonder how many levels of chess these guys play. If we keep hearing how Trump doesn’t have the temperament, then our first response is “yes, he does.” So we are attuned to the idea and we go looking for evidence that he does (or does not.) Then we see Trump turn the joker act down and present himself with more dignity like he did in the Super-Tuesday speech, and we go “See, he can do it.” That takes temperament as an issue off the table.

            Or, maybe I’m over-thinking this and they are all just idiots. Because I cannot see how this can hurt Trump. I used to think Romney would have made a fine Prez, now I’m pretty sure he’s just a jerk like Rubio.

            Which puts me in the uncomfortable position of having to defend Trump which just makes me hate the establishment douchebags even more.

            Somebody made a funny comment after the last debate that Rubio and Cruz must have watched Jurassic Park the way they circled and attacked Trump like Velociraptors.

          • JimnoXL says:

            The ever-dumb, ever-bumbling Republican Machine dolts never cease to amaze me with how much they attempt to remain the dumbest political party on the planet. You have a Dim candidate who should be in prison and all these dolts do is attack a currently popular Trump because he’s a liberal, like the machine Republicans aren’t? Trump was right about Romney, it was his race to lose, especially after that great first debate where he pwnd Obola, but at the end of the race he disappeared. I was at two separate polling places and there was not a single Romney sign, I knew it was a bad sign for how Election Day would go.

            Why couldn’t Romney and these dolts give speeches on why Hillary should be in prison and let the primary work itself out? It is difficult to hate the Republican machine more after their many failures but they somehow manage to make people hate them even more.

          • Because olo says:

            Whatever you think of the message, he was the wrong messenger.

          • rightymouse says:

            The GOP establishment is scared to death and I don’t know why. But whatever it is, it’s making them do and say really stupid things.

  28. rightymouse says:

    Whew! I’m sure they were really worried about upsetting you.

  29. I just made baked sweet potatoe slices with butter, oil, salt and pepper. And tomato basil soup from tom sauce, carrot, celery, garlic, basil, oregano, butter, chicken broth (shhhhhh, one of them’s vegan) and cream. Wifey’s handling the parental estate tonight so I have to please my girls. Am I good or WHAT?

  30. Arachne says:

    Hey Fatso! Did you use your incredible new-found fame to plead for money for your begging bowl yet? Get an uptick in hits? Comments? Followers? Anything?

    Or did everyone pretty much ignore your petty, whining ass? Yeah, I believe they did. No new fame for YOU!

  31. Because olo says:

    Chat with Toot.

  32. Octopus says:

    We finally got both the kids extricated from their jobs and classes, and got them and their friends who are boys down to Key West today. Checked into the place, walked down to the dock with some beers, and were greeted by the sight of a beautiful manatee family hanging out down there, eating moss off the posts and posing for pics. Mom has the scars from a bad propeller-encounter on her back, but she’s got a yearling and a baby hanging out with her, and the baby is nursing in the pic below. They hung out with us for about an hour, before moving on. It was kind of magical. My family has been known to lurk about in front of the manatee tank at the Mote Aquarium for long stretches, so this natural encounter was something new and exciting.

    P.S. Manatees are much thinner and more graceful than Chunky McDumbth, as well as possessing infinitely more soul.

    • ISpeakJive says:

      Were they hanging out waiting for snacks? Thin mints, perhaps? 🙂

      • Octopus says:

        I think they prefer Samoas. I know I do.

        I hope they come back today. I intend to be on the dock with a beer in hand by 4 pm, to greet them.

    • Pakimon says:

      I lived in the lower keys for five years back in the late 80’s/early 90’s.

      Got some good Key West stories.

      For instance:

      I was drinking beer at the The Bull and Whistle bar on Duval Street and hanging out on the upstairs balcony. It was a good place to people watch and check out the street traffic cruising up and down Duval Street. So I’m drinking and hanging out when one of my friends notices a white Mustang with a sun roof piloted by a guy with his shorts around his knees and he’s “gratifying” himself. Of course, we didn’t believe him but a few minutes later, here comes the Mustang again. The guy was still “getting busy” and we were all treated to the unsavory spectacle. Up Duval Street the Mustang goes and I began to formulate a plan should he turn around and come back. Of course he did and as the Mustang approached, I took aim with my 16 oz plastic cup filled with beer. It’s stop and go traffic on Duval Street so I waited until the Mustang stopped beneath The Bull and Whistle Balcony and I launch the cup of beer carefully towards my target. Given that I had already had a few “cold ones”, I was hoping that I’d hit the front hood or windshield but luck was on my side. The cup of beer sailed downward upright, went right through the sun roof and exploded in the “monkey spanker’s’ lap. The screeches and curses reverberating from that Mustang was drowned by the hoots of laughter coming from the balcony as everyone celebrated my accuracy at beer tossing prowess. The waitress brought me a replacement beer “on the house” with the admonishment not to do it again. Tossing cups of beer of the balcony of The Bull and Whistle is frowned upon in that establishment and usually results in being ejected out onto the street. But given the nature of my target, I was given a one time pass. 😀

      Hey Octo! If you get a chance, go have a cold one on the balcony of The Bull and Whistle and you can check out “the scene of the crime”. It’s only a couple of blocks south of Rick’s and Sloppy Joe’s and you can’t miss it. 😀

      • Pakimon says:

        The scene of the crime! 😆

        • Octopus says:

          Awesome story! We’re going to Duval Street later, after the sun-freaks get done burning themselves to a crisp. That balcony looks like a perfect place to watch the passing parade of self-pleasuring humanity.

  33. Juan Epstein says:


    Charles was right!!

    They’re measuring COCKS!!

  34. rightymouse says:

    The audience at the debate seems to be stacked for Rubio and Kasich. Kasich makes me want rip my eyes and ears.

  35. rightymouse says:

    Megyn Kelly is a bitch with weird fake eyelashes.

  36. kbdabear says:

    Toot has declared #NeverTrump to now be irrelevant. Of course every time Toot tries to trend a hashtag it dies like a ’75 Pinto with 50K miles. Seems his biggest scoop in years with the Trump Klan Newsman never got out of first gear either.

    • Arachne says:

      Nope it didn’t. I don’t even recall MSM TV even talking about it. Of course, unlike Fatso, they understand how granting press credentials and interviews actually work in real life, especially on the campaign. Also, rather than go on Dr. Dumbfuck’s usual sloppy and erroneous reporting, they may have actually taken the time to check OUT the story before going with the smear headlines.

      First off, press credentials are handed out. No campaign has time to check everyone. Edwards really isn’t the well known national figure they like to play him to be so no alarm bells went off. Fatso and the others know who he is because they obsessively stalk his website. The average Republican would cross the street to avoid being within five feet of him. Press is corralled at events and watched by Secret Service, so giving credentials is no big deal. Edwards does not say whether he gave full details to the press coordinator. My guess? Uh, no.

      Second, this whole “Donald Jr. gave us an interview. Anyone think that they corralled Donald Jr. at the event, asked him some off the cuff questions into a tape recorder and sprinted away. Chances are Donald Jr. was answering questions from a HOST of reporters at one time but Edwards, slime ball that he is, is puffing this as a “sit down” with Donald Jr. Okay, then there will be video if it’s a sit down, right, walking turd? Post it.

  37. Octopus says:

    It’s like they’ve never even seen “Terminator.” 😯

    • Bunk X says:

      Notice that the guy with the stick wouldn’t get close to the ‘bot. After cruelly poking it and knocking it down, he knows that the ‘bot is pissed and could easily throttle him.

      • Octopus says:

        Atlas is just biding his time. His time will come very soon. Stick-Guy’s information is recorded in the “To Do” file.

  38. Octopus says:

    The classics are called “the classics” for a reason. 😆

    This pic is worth way more than a thousand words.

  39. Octopus says:

    I didn’t watch the debate last night — is Ace being a little too harsh on Trump’s performance? 😆


    Donald Trump. Repudiated the Jeff Sessions Immigration Plan — which was the only reason to support him — by declaring he was “changing” and “softening” it because we need all these highly-skilled people to take our jobs. Then said he would be “flexible” on the wall and deporting illegals and pretty much admitted he’d said as much to the New York Times editorial board, and then, in case you were unsure if you’d heard him right, praised Marco Rubio’s Amnesty plan as “fine” and a good opening bargaining position.

    Kept talking about his hand-size and then, just when you thought this was getting weird, brought it back into a more sensible area by assuring the world that his penis size was sufficient for most.

    He then added some substance to his foreign policy platform by declaring that he would force American soldiers to break the law and murder children.

    On other issues, he was less reassuring.

    His answers to questions about Trump University and the budget were somewhat uncomfortable to watch, in much the same way that it is uncomfortable to watch a bus full of circus clowns crash into a school for blind children and even worse the clowns were doing their “Gasoline Comedy” act that day and now all the blind children are on fire and the clowns are trying to squirt water on them with their stupid lapel-flowers but the flowers are just squirting out more gas and the children are crying tears of fire out of their Unseeing Dead Eyes and holy shit a couple of the clowns look like they have boners and they’re chasing around the fiery blind children trying to rub up on them with these bobbling clown-boners with big red bulbs on their tips.

    In other words, as Trump would say: Not the best. Really not terrific. A real mess!

    Grade: I don’t even know how to even start grading this. As far as a letter grade, I give a red X carved crudely through the face of a rotting pig with a bunch of stripper-glitter tossed on it.

  40. ISpeakJive says:

    I see black tees and flannel plaid in her future.

  41. ISpeakJive says:

    I wanna do this:

  42. ISpeakJive says:

    Haha. Every time I see a young man with a giant mutant ear hole it just seems like the perfect place to poke a finger and pull.

    • ISpeakJive says:

      Was replying to Righty, or so I thought……..

    • Octopus says:

      That reminds me of this lady I used to work with. One of her kids had ripped her pierced-earring off, splitting her lobe, and she never bothered to get it repaired. Just rocked the split-lobe look, the rest of her life. Looked kind of like a fish-tail. Occasionally wore clip-on earrings, but usually went without earrings altogether. That split-lobe used to weird me out, for some reason.

  43. Octopus says:

    Racist Insanity Run Amok!


    Gotta be the right shade of black, now, to play a particular black character. Makeup be racist.

    Oh, it’s never going to end, is it?

    • How can it ever end? Too many parasites would be out “work”.

    • OLT's Buying Nontoxic Paint Remover and a Glove Sponge says:

      Soooo, no automatic Oscar, then? Or ??? I am so confused!

      • Octopus says:

        What if all of us palefaces just had ourselves tattoo’d a nice shade of burnt sienna, all over? Would that be enough? Perhaps the burnt umber?

        I’m plumb tar’d of lugging this White Guilt around. So onerous.

    • Octopus says:

      Okay, we get it. You’re attractive. That’s why you have the job you do. Fox hires foxes, and I’m fine with it. Sound business plan. It’s a visual medium. Even the Weather Channel is rife with feminine hotness.

      The eyelashes, though. Gilding the Lily Munster, if you ask me. Just a hair too much.

    • How dare you say that. She’s a highly qualified lawyer!

  44. Octopus says:

    Fatass is weewee scared! 😆

  45. pineapple ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

    In reference to marrying Jerry Hall.

    • Octopus says:

      Even though we’re a long way from 1975, when she was one of the hottest supermodels around, the old gal’s held up very well. Not too many 59-ers can pull off a bikini this well.

  46. pineapple ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

    Toot has some major butthurt here. They would never let his fat insignificant ass waddle into a White House press conference.

    Josh Earnest apparently knows Milo on a first name basis, and answered his questions with respect.

    I’m sure that drove Fuckface out of his mind.

    • OLT's Buying Nontoxic Paint Remover and a Glove Sponge says:

      If you get butthurt from a homosexual … aw, nevermind.

      • pineapple ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

        homofowb! !!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!

        • Octopus says:

          Look at Milo, asking a serious, relevant question in a very polite, intelligent way, expressing his legitimate concerns in the most public forum imaginable. Obviously, he’s a respected voice.

          Meanwhile, Fatass is attempting to silence all debate and dissension on Twitter, with his puling five retweeters and constant futile attempts to address real people who have him blocked. It’s quite sad, but still highlarious! 😆

          • Octopus says:

            Not to mention, Fatass helps promote Milo’s concerns by tweeting this exchange out, as if he’s employed by the dangerous hatebreed-homo. Thanks, Chunky! I might have missed this. 🙂

          • pineapple ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

            I’m sure Fatso will tweet the White House and tell them that Milo picked on him and how bad Milo is.

          • Octopus says:

            The WH has Chunky blocked, I’m sure. 😦

    • TreBob says: