Mr. Toot’s candidate is tied with a legit Communist, what’s a shameless opportunist to do?

We all know that the shameless Mr. Toot is a front runner – in 2001 he joined the tide of patriotism and became something of a hawk, in 2009 sensing that the tides were shifting he turned Judas and not only became a full fledged Obama Zombie but also became an Islamic sympathizer. The Rotund ex guitar player has tossed his bag of Cheetos onto the side of the unlovable Hillary Clinton probably because she represents the domineering type of woman that  a flatulent, wrinkly, smelly, has-been would like to be around so she can dump all over him and scream at him all day! Here’s the conundrum – the old Communist Bernie Sanders is in a  statistical tie with Mrs. Pant Suit. Bernie really reflects Charles Johnson’s philosophy of wealth redistribution (hey it is easier than busking with a beat up guitar by the Santa Monica Freeway begging for quarters). Will Chuckles dump Hillary and decide to “Bern baby Bern”? Stay tuned.

Poll: Sanders nearly tied with Clinton nationwide

By Bradford Richardson

Democratic presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders has dramatically cut into the nationwide lead of primary rival Hillary Clinton, according to a new Quinnipiac University poll.

The poll released Friday finds Clinton leading the race with 44 percent support, compared to 42 percent support for Sanders, within the survey’s margin of error.

The last iteration of the poll in December had Clinton leading Sanders nationwide 61–30.

“Democrats nationwide are feeling the Bern as Sen. Bernie Sanders closes a 31-point gap to tie Secretary Hillary Clinton,” said Tim Malloy, assistant director of the Quinnipiac University Poll.

The poll also finds that Sanders matches up better with top Republican primary candidates than Clinton.

In head-to-head matchups, the Vermont senator leads GOP front-runner Donald Trump by 10 points, edges Ted Cruz by 4 points and ties Marco Rubio.

While Clinton still tops Trump by 5 points, she ties Cruz and trails Rubio by 7 points.

The poll also finds that Clinton has a net favorability rating of negative 17, only besting Trump in that category, who has a negative-25 favorability rating.

Sanders has a 9-point favorability rating nationwide, only trailing Rubio, at 14 points.

The poll surveyed 484 Democrats and has a margin of error of 4.5 percent.


81 Comments on “Mr. Toot’s candidate is tied with a legit Communist, what’s a shameless opportunist to do?”

  1. OLT's Prefers to Spell it "Whinging" says:

    Please, Dems, go ahead and Bern the Party down.

  2. Because olo says:

    My 5000 quatloos is Toot will fell the Bern on May 17. Who else is in?

    • Abu oyliMMilyo ubA says:

      I don’t disagree with your timeframe but so much depends on when the FBI double-dog dares our president to not bring charges. The cover-up/pardon would really damage Cankles’s chances.

      Make no mistake: no one under the thumb of the Executive Branch wipes their ass without O’Bastard’s blessing. Or have I got this all wrong?

      • Because olo says:

        At some point, Toot’s going to have his SJW license revoked if he doesn’t start feeling the Bern. Don’t matter what happens with Hildebeast.

  3. Arachne says:

    I was saying over at the Mother Ship that I just can’t deal with Twitter right now.
    My Twitter feed over-runneth with deranged Trump supporters, angry Cruz supporters, pissed-off Carson supporters, clueless Rubio supporters, and those charming gray-matter deficient gals from #MomsDemand……

  4. pineapple says:

    Wow… I actually agree with Bernie on something. He’s correct of course, the “official” U-3 number (4.9%) is highly inaccurate. The “official U-6 number (9.9%) is by far more accurate and it’s said that U-6 is actually too low. It’s probably closer to 13%.

  5. Octopus says:

    If only they had the wisdom to hire you as a consultant, Chunky. You could help design the new interface. Put some shiny green buttons on there. Some begging, of course. Successful? Oh, man. Through the roof.

  6. Because olo says:

  7. JimboXL says:

    Hillary is the Jeb Bush if the Dim primary, only Dims have to vote for her because there is no one else. It may not be long before she has to ask the audience to please clap for her.

  8. Octopus says:

    I saw Jeb brought his mom out yesterday, to stand up for her bullied son. Don’t think that’s a very good look, personally.

    This political shitshow is really getting weird. A criminal and a communist, on the Dim side. I’m not going to ridicule the Rethugs, as they’re hammering each other pretty well already. Trump is still leading, but…really?

    Hey, how about that Johnny Football? 😯

    • Pakimon says:

      The Johnny Football show is classic “trainwreck”.

      Now Cleveland players are saying the last time he got scratched from a game, it was because he showed up at practice drunk.

      He’s going to end up the NFL’s version of Gus if he isn’t careful.

      • Octopus says:

        He’s one sterno-induced crippling leg-injury away from moving into the garage with Gus. Hey, that would be quite a plot-twist for the operetta, eh?

    • Octopus says:

      Need a little palate-cleanser, after that. I would have a drink at this bar. Maybe two. Tip heavily. Fall off stool.

      • rightymouse says:

        Looks like she doesn’t make very good tips. Obviously can’t afford a bra and pants. Her Mai Tai’s must suck.

        • Octopus says:

          Forget the Mai Tai’s, then. A couple fingers of that Tennessee Fire, please. Pour one for yourself, too. Nothing creepy, you just look a little chilly…it’ll warm you up.

      • Pakimon says:

        She may make sucky Mai Tai’s, but she’s got perky, gravity defying down to a science. 😆

      • Pakimon says:

        The secret to perkiness is good posture.

        Just call me Mr. Helper. 😀

        • rightymouse says:

          I’ve heard of ‘washboard tummies’, but never ‘washboard boobs’.

          • Octopus says:

            Well, you can’t see the washboard-abs-and-boobs if you’ve got a pile of laundry sitting on there. No slouching!

          • rightymouse says:

            Laundry? Hubby does the laundry. And ironing too. Because he’s so unbelievably wonderful, I just cleaned the kitchen. 🙂

          • Octopus says:

            I do most of the laundry, too. It’s satisfying, when it’s all done on Sunday. For five minutes or so. 🙂

      • I bet they sell extra beer as everyone’s missing their mouth and pouring it on the bar and their lap and having to buy another one.

  9. Pakimon says:

    Looks like material for an episode of Operetta de Gusano™ has been a bit thin the last few days.

    I’m not worried. The siren call of Sterno and ditch-weed is calling Gus and he won’t be able to resist for much longer… 😆

  10. rightymouse says:

    Fatso wants Twitter to provide safe spaces for him and his sniveling lefty loser brats.

    • rightymouse says:

      I see that Octo already posted this. More java for moi.

      • Octopus says:

        I say, put a little Irish cheer in that coffee. Toast to the success of Twitter, despite their catastrophic error in not hiring McDumbth to bugfuck their code.

    • Arachne says:

      He doesn’t get it. Never will. I look at the people who reply or retweet or like his tweets. They don’t have a huge following reach. He’s living with a belief system that he gets to attack people on Twitter and cry foul when they respond. What he doesn’t get is that everyone’s blocked him. When he attacks Milo, he should be getting a lot of replies from Milo’s followers defending him. But he doesn’t. Why. Because no one gives a shit what he thinks.

  11. rightymouse says:

    Well, duh. Judge Orrick is an Obama appointee.

  12. Octopus says:

    This guy on my side, after the big SHTF event. Secretary of Defense.

  13. Octopus says:

    The Japanese are still insane. What was in those bombs we dropped on them, again?

  14. Octopus says:

    Piers Morgan had the audacity to question the tastefulness of Susan Sarandon’s breast-baring outfit at the SAG Awards (get it?), and a bunch of people tweeted pics of their boobs in support (get it?) of her tired old teats. I’m surprised Chunky didn’t send his moobs over, but he might be mad at Susan for dumping Shrillary for Bernie, which Fatass isn’t scheduled to do until next week. 😆

  15. Octopus says:

    I’ve heard Brits refer to drunk people as “pissed,” but this is something else again. The other day it was poop-pills for fat people. Now this. Stop it, right now. 😡

    Cocktail guide offers recipes made with urine

    February 02, 2016

    Plumbworld says consumers can follow these recipes at home “without worrying about the taste.” (Plumbworld)

    As hard as it may be to swallow, drinking urine has been around for millennia as a health elixir.

    Now Plumbworld is trying to make consuming the human waste less stomach churning—even hip.

    The U.K- based website that sells home bathroom fixtures created a cocktail recipe guide complete with 25 alcohol-free drinks that mimic many of the crafted cocktails found at trendy bars.

    Recipes in The Complete Urine Drinkers Cocktail Guide include tonge-in-cheek names for the concoctions like the Marga”pee”ta, dedicated to survival and outdoor TV personality Bear Grylls, made using fresh urine, lime juice and simple syrup. There is also the “Pee” and Tonic, quite simply made from fresh urine and tonic water and the “Piss”co Sour, made from fresh urine, lime juice, a free-range egg white, simple syrup and a dash of bitters.

    Plumbworld says that these recipes can be made at home “without worrying about the taste.”

    The Complete Urine Drinkers Cocktail Guide

    As horrifying as the concept sounds, evidence shows that the ancient Egyptians, Romans, Hindus and Chinese all drank urine for medicinal purposes. Many believe that the waste can prevent or cure sickness, cleanse one’s bowels or act as a beauty treatment. Modern-day techniques for ingesting it include taking some midstream from morning urine, mixed with juice, poured in fruit or taken in drops under the tongue.

    Some famous practitioners reportedly have included Mexican boxer Juan Manuel Marquez, author J. D. Salinger and former Indian Prime Minister Morarji Desai.

    Using urine in alcohol drinks isn’t new, either. James Gilpin, a designer and researcher in the U.K. who works on new biomedical technologies has been experimenting with a high-end single malt whisky made from the sugar-rich urine of elderly diabetics. And we found several recipes online, including Piss on the Beach –(Like sex on the beach but with urine).

    Some health professionals say that drinking urine isn’t the best idea, and that while it contains mainly water, minerals like sodium, potassium and chloride that the body has already been expelled are being put back in.

    But if you’re one who embraces urine therapy, all we can say is bottoms up.

      • swamprat says:

        Perhaps with garbonzobeans. Some people think a garbonzo bean is the same as a chickpea, but I have never had a garbonzo bean in my back yard because the water was off.

    • Seriously what is wrong with people? Sometimes I’ve stumbled across pr0n where they pee in some lovely girl’s face. And I’m thinking don’t these people know we WASH OUR HANDS after urinating FOR A REASON. And then I think how’d they talk that poor thing into doing that? Oh right they tell her she’s gone PRO and she’s doing an acting SCENE for money. Which makes it A-Okay. True it may not be hurting anyone (and I’m not a prude) but you are drinking urine on the internet for the next several decades. And not even getting paid for all the weirdos watching it. Sad assed shit and I think those women need a hug. Let’s use our thinky heads girls. If you like to do crazy sex stuff that’s just fine but do it off camera so you don’t have to own it forever.

    • Because olo says:

      “Using urine in alcohol drinks isn’t new, either.” Might explain why the Brits call a drinking party a “piss up”.

  16. Octopus says:

    There, there…shaddap, Chunky.

    Of course we still dig your groovy scene. Your blog really swings!

  17. Octopus says:

    1 hour ago

    1 hour ago

    1 hour ago

    This kind of heavy-handed “comedy” doesn’t resonate with anyone but the other stewbums, Gus. Dial it back.

  18. Chunk Johnsuck is dick and a fat idiot loser. All of the people on these hilarious Japanese game shows are totally awesome. They probably all actually have jobs and the ones who program computers are actual programmers who don’t have to reverse engineer shit.

  19. OK you gotta love a skit where the guy in the dashiki (the uprorious Keegan Michael Key) with the fake African name gets maced by BOTH the white and black moms. It’s always better when we laugh at everyone and nothing’s off bounds.

  20. They had me at “Snow Off-White”. Airies is a genius in this. And of course Nicole Parker is a Broadway monster now.

  21. Because olo says:

    Oh boy! Oh boy! Cristina’s getting feisty, only this time it’s about the Bernie Bunch.

  22. Because olo says:

    This is just generally awesome.

  23. rightymouse says:

    ABC totally screwed the intro to the debate. What a joke.

  24. rightymouse says:

    Blah blah blah blah blah blah. .

  25. Minnow says:

    Mommy is SO proud of my handsome boy Jeb!!

    /Barbara off

  26. rightymouse says:

    Ignoring Dr. Carson at the debate is really pissing me off.

  27. So you’re pro cheerleader. What does that say about your life? I don’t know and I don’t care. God bless all of us who are tryin’, even Chunky McFatso.