Another epic failed foreign policy prediction by the Count Metternich of the Moonbat Blogosphere

The corpulent, flatulent, addled and aging hippie has been since 2009 part of the coterie of braying jackasses who think that Obama is a genius at foreign policy. The indigent Mr. Toot has been touting the Iran nuclear deal as a wonderful thing (how long ago was it that he used to do threads abbot “Iran’s Manhattan Project keeps rolling on”? The Tootster and his ugly commenters all were in high spirits when Neville Obama had his horse face Secretary of State (one Jean-Francois Kerry) sign the accord with the mullahs and were positively orgasmic at the prospect of Israel being nuked. They predicted an era of Kumbaya between us and the mad mullahs of Tehran and another Nobel Peace Prize for the former community organizer from Chicago and his trusty Secretary of State (who served in Vietnam in case you did not know).  Well guess what? Iran is still an enemy and their missiles are being designed to hit the United States.

State TV: Iran flew drone over U.S. aircraft carrier

Jane Onyanga-Omara, USA TODAY

Iran flew a surveillance drone over a U.S. aircraft carrier and took photographs of it as part of a naval drill, Iranian state TV reported Friday.

The report, which did not name the vessel, said the incident happened on the third day of Iranian naval exercises. The channel’s website and the semi-official Fars news agency published footage said to be of the drone’s flight.

Fars said an Iranian submarine was also deployed near the U.S. vessel to gather intelligence and capture video of its movements.

“The Iranian submarine managed to take clear pictures of the aircraft carrier without catching the attention of the staff on board,” the news agency reported.

Cmdr. Kevin Stephens, a spokesman for the U.S. Navy’s 5th Fleet based in Bahrain, said an unarmed Iranian drone flew near the French aircraft carrier Charles de Gaulle and directly over the USS Harry S. Truman on Jan. 12 in international waters in the Persian Gulf. He couldn’t confirm whether it was the same incident.

He said the aircraft  “posed no danger to the ship,” but was “abnormal and unprofessional.”

Adm. Habibollah Sayyari, the commander of Iran’s navy, told state TV the drone’s flight was “a sign of bravery” which “allowed our men to go so close to the warship and shoot such a beautiful and accurate footage of the combat units of the foreign forces.”

Iranian state TV also said Iran’s navy successfully fired surface-to-surface Noor cruise missiles during the drill.

The reported drone flight is the latest incident between Iran and the U.S. in the Persian Gulf.

Last month, the U.S. accused Iran of carrying out rocket tests near American warships and commercial traffic in the Strait of Hormuz. In January, Iran captured and briefly held 10 U.S. Navy sailors who entered Iranian waters.

Iranian President Hassan Rouhani arrived back in Tehran on Friday from a five-day visit to Europe where billions of dollars worth of trade deals were signed between Iran and Italian and French companies.

It followed the lifting of many international economic sanctions on Jan. 16 after a landmark deal with the United States and five other world powers in July to curb Iran’s nuclear program in return for an end to sanctions.

On Jan. 17, the U.S implemented sanctions against 11 people and companies involved in Iran’s ballistic missile program, just one day after President Obama lifted sanctions based on the nuclear program.

Contributing: Associated Press

 

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184 Comments on “Another epic failed foreign policy prediction by the Count Metternich of the Moonbat Blogosphere”

  1. Daedalus says:

    Charles was praising the Iran deal as diplomatic genius on the part of Obama. He is silent at Iran humiliating us.

  2. ISpeakJive says:

    Nobody except Daed is commenting yet because everybody is busy googling Count Metternich.

    • Daedalus says:

      Ha ha ha ha.

      Its an obscure reference by Heracles. But it does fit Charles.

    • Octopus says:

      Chunky’s more like the “Count of Swampy Crisco,” imho.

      • Octopus says:

        Aka, the “Count of Donkey Disco.” Swingin’ joint, down Mexico way. Take my word for it — never go there!

      • ISpeakJive says:

        He’s the Count of Monte Cristo sandwiches. Those things are fattening!!

        • Octopus says:

          Not familiar with those, Jive. To the google!

          Monte Cristo Sandwich. A quick and easy sandwich with ham, turkey and swiss slices, dipped in an egg/milk mixture and fried to a golden brown. A hot alternative to the usual lunch or snack. Try it with berry jam on the side.

          I’m all over that, like Elvis on a butter-fried peanut butter and banana sandwich. 🙂

          • ISpeakJive says:

            Ooh, you’re missing out! The really good ones are breaded in rice crispies, then deep fried.
            Never understood the connection between the sandwich and the guy locked in the tower, though.

          • Octopus says:

            That sounds awesome! Also, it sounds like something out of the “Stoner Munchies Cookbook,” which was a real thing back in the day. 🙂

    • Captain Death says:

      Henry Kissinger was accused of Metternichean tendencies.

  3. Octopus says:

    http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2016/01/donald-trump-is-shocking-vulgar-and-right-213572?o=0

    Good piece on why Trump is winning, and why his candidacy exists in the first place. Carlson’s inside-the-Beltway view is enlightening, too. Boy, do they hate him there! All the more reason to like him?

    • ISpeakJive says:

      The word on the street is the Secret Service is extremely worried about Trump’s safety. He’s scaring the crap out of a lot of powerful people that depend on the status quo in Washington to make their livings…..Read into that what you will.

      • Octopus says:

        Well, I would also advise him to skip any cross-aisle meetings with Shrillary, even if she promises a 3-way with Huma. He’d be dead before the motel room door closed.

        The horror. 😯

  4. More like Count De Monet except without the jack.

  5. Because olo says:

    Falwell’s following Toot’s lead.

  6. rightymouse says:

    And you fell for the bait. Amirite? 😆

    • Abu Ludwig von oyliM says:

      Hey Toot, has the bike accident or divorce had the greater impact on you mental well-being?
      Not that you read here, but you’re a mess. A job would be in your best interest. Otherwise you’ll tweet several ICYMI retweets on a subject no one cares about for the rest of your sad existence.

      Maybe “mess” is too kind considering your standing in life. “Coward” covers it better.

  7. Because olo says:

  8. Because olo says:

    Cristina’s all juiced up again…

  9. Charity foundations are awesome when they really help people. Unlike Hillary’s slush fund lie that’s mostly used to employ her cronies and family. And when has Chunk ever helped anyone like Pam Geller does? Oh right, never because he’s a broke as a joke loser who’s begging on the internet.

  10. pineapple says:

    WTF is wrong with his nostril?

  11. Because olo says:

  12. Octopus says:

    http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2016/01/28/hillary-clintons-worst-nightmare-hint-its-not-bernie-sanders.html?intcmp=hpbt2

    One Double Nothingburger, with artisanal cheese. You want fries with that, Fatass? Supersize it, you say? Okay, it’s your funeral. And Hers. 😆

  13. Family. So good. I think this may have been Chunk’s family life.

  14. Chunk’s early mentor. Also early Key and Peele 🙂

  15. And don’t forget Death To America! Because well….Death To America!!

  16. Pakimon says:

    It’s a dark stormy night in a Denver suburb and Gus is standing outside the collapsed remains of his refrigerator carton “mobile” home.

    The manager of the Safeway has just informed Gus that he needs to “move on” or else the police will be called. He doesn’t need some bum camping out behind his store and scaring his customers.

    Gus is humiliated and chagrined.

    Perhaps it’s because he was called a perverted bum. More likely it’s because he’s been obliviously stumbling around with his pants around his ankles for the last fifteen minutes, soaking wet and “unfulfilled” due to the rainwater saturated cardboard armageddon he just endured.

    Gus glares at the retreating figure of the Safeway manager with growing peevishness.

    • Pakimon says:

      Gus is in a shambles.

      His new luxury home a wreck and now soon to be given the bum’s rush (so to speak 😀 ) from the alley behind the Safeway.

      Gus pulls up his sodden pants and whimpers

    • Pakimon says:

      Gus, filled with self-pity shuffles out of the alley and heads down the street.

      How could this happen to him?

      It’s all the scantily clad, taut, tawny, teasing, nut crushing she-devil’s fault!

      He must get her out of what’s left of his mind!

      “Think of this ordeal as a growing experience and don’t let it happen again!”, Gus tells himself.

      Such thoughts make Gus wax philosophical.

    • Pakimon says:

      Unfortunately for Gus, the taut, tawny visage of the she-devil is now hardwired into his Sterno soaked brain and isn’t going anywhere.

      Gus stops and ponders his predicament.

      Then, it hits him like a ton of bricks!

      He’s Argentinian and an aspiring architect! A man of such stock wouldn’t waffle indecisively!

      He’d take charge, go to that window and look long and hard and damn the consequences!

      He’d be just like that Argentinian hero…

      Gus’ brain draws a blank. He thinks and thinks but the only “hero” to pop into his brain is Fidel Castro.

      “But, but, but… he’s Cuban, not Argentinian”, Gus snivels to himself.

      Aftere a few more minutes of drawing blanks except for Castro, Gus mutters to himself, “The hell with it, close enough!”

      Filled with resolve, Gus charges down the street to the abode of the she-devil.

    • Pakimon says:

      Gus breathlessly arrives at the abode of the she-devil and quickly hunkers down in the bushes.

      This time Gus is going to play it smart and not get caught!

      What to do? questions whirl in Gus’ head.

      Then an idea hits!

      He’ll peep into a different window to view his delight!

      But which one will offer a good view?

      He reaches a decision.

    • Pakimon says:

      Gus creeps up to the rear window and slowly raises himself up to peek in.

      There she is! And she’s wearing a thong this time!

      Gus is giddy with glee.

    • Pakimon says:

      Gus stares, enthralled by the thong clad visage of the she-devil,

      A loud, throaty growl suddenly erupts behind him.

      A startled Gus jumps at the ominous sound, a fear induced blast of wet flatulence erupting from his backside, creating more fodder for an unwary dishwasher.

      He whirls around and sees a large rottweiler glaring at him with bared teeth…

      • Pakimon says:

        What will happen to Gus now?! 😮

        To find out, tune in to the next episode of Operetta de Gusano™ 😆

      • Pakimon says:

        The preceding episode of Operetta de Gusano™ sponsored by:

        • Pakimon says:

          The above video is a good analogy of the taut and tawny she-devil spinning and teasing in the synapses of Gus’ pickled brain. 😆

          • Octopus says:

            That’s every “Girl Next Door,” right? In the befuddled adolescent mind of the “Creep Next Door,” I mean. 😆

            Awesome operetta, Pak. It’s touching to see our hero refusing to give up, no matter how bad things get. When life hands him a rotten dumpster lemon, he makes a sterno lemonade spritzer out of it. Cheers!

        • rightymouse says:

          She needs to eat some potstickers. Damn girl looks positively anorexic.

  17. And Get Yo Ass Outa Bed!!!

  18. Because olo says:

    And she’s off, this fine Saturday morning…

    • rightymouse says:

      • rightymouse says:

        • Pakimon says:

          Heh.

          The bloody poofter is getting hammered on his timeline. 😆

        • Octopus says:

          As someone who’s been surrounded by women his entire life, I can testify that there’s NOTHING women like better than to be accused of being into their menstrual cycle, and that’s why they’re bitchy. From men, I mean. They’ll take it from other women. 😆

        • poteen2 says:

          What a sexist. Can you imagine if his soccer club signed a woman?//

        • ISpeakJive says:

          Blaming the crazy on your period is crazy. Mine never affected me in that manner not even once. Annoying. Sexist pig.

          • Octopus says:

            My older daughter has the most predictable PMS day ever — it started when she was about 13, and it’s still the same today, at 24. First she gets incredibly goofy, laughing hysterically at everything, to the point of tears. An hour or two later, she’s crying actual tears, about something distressing in her life. Then, the cramps begin, and she goes to her room to suffer in silence. The next day, she’s out and about like nothing happened. It’s like clockwork.

  19. Because olo says:

    We gotta figure out how to get Toot in a scrap with Cristina. 😆

    OTOH, he’d probably organize a #twittergulag for her.

  20. Speaking of racist whackjobbery.

    • Because olo says:

      Somebody needs to ‘splain to Einstein that “AF1” is a designation, not a particular aircraft. There are several actual airplanes that get the designation “AF1” when and only when the plane is carrying the POTUS. It’s like a flight number.

    • Octopus says:

      She’s right, of course. No white American president would consent to flying around in an airplane that had been used to transport persons of color. Why, Dubya used to force both of his Secretary Of States, Colin and Condoleeza, to fly coach in a separate commercial airliner, usually one of the discount airlines with no peanuts. They were “porch-adjacent
      n—rs,” according to noted political historian Sidney Poitier.

  21. Octopus says:

    A somewhat-shocking defeat for Serena in the Aussie Open final today. She just didn’t have her A-game, but she was very gracious and real in defeat. “I’m not a robot,” she said.

    That’s a good point. The greatest players in the world, in all of tennis history, were subject to defeat by inspired performances from lesser players. Agassi described the zone you have to be in, to play your best championship tennis, and how it can leave you at any time for no reason. If you haven’t read his autobiography and are at all interested in tennis, you should check it out.

    The winner today was also very gracious in her victory speech. I suspect we haven’t seen the last of her.

    http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=espn:14677284

    • Octopus says:

      No, we haven’t seen the last of this amazing athlete…

      Don’t you just loathe it, when they try to use sex appeal to sell a sports figure? It’s the same as rape, imho. Entitled-lookers should have their eyes gouged out, and fed to the birds. 😡

      • Wow. Good for her. To take down the powerful Serena is quite a feat on any day. I refuse to admire her sexual attractiveness. I respect her only has a hard-working athlete.

        Yeah right who am I kidding? I’m a shallow ass when it comes to beautiful female athletes. 🙂

        • Octopus says:

          Whoa! I clicked on the photo, trying to hit reply, and I was greeted by a shameless audition pose for Fox News Slut-Flasher Foxes. I’m so mad at myself, for the entitled-looking I did, in the brief millisecond before I clicked back to this page. Bright yellow panties will haunt me now.

          • Ironic too because it’s Serena sportin’ the yellow this Assie open. Another interesting fact is the German Kerber’s idol is, of course the excellent Steffii Graf (a classy one) who has 22 majors. This would have been Serena’s 22n’d I think they said. Yowch.

            Cheer up Serena. You’re still super awesome! Super gorgeous and classy too.

            http://www.trbimg.com/img-56ac99e0/turbine/la-sp-sn-kerber-upsets-serena-williams-2016013-001/650/650×366

          • Octopus says:

            I was a big fan of Graf’s, back then. She was a fearsome athlete. I read about her much later in Agassi’s book, and I like her even more now. A truly transcendant human.

            Serena is a similar figure to me, at this point. I have a few issues with the Williams’ sisters, but they pale in comparison with the dominance these girls have exerted, especially Serena (but you can’t ignore Venus’ run, in her early years). I want Serena to own all the records, by the time she retires, and I think she needs one more good year of dominance to put some distance between herself and the Next One. She’s got that in her. On to the next one, and stay healthy, Sis.

          • Yep. And they were always so classy during the Hingis years when she (Hingis) was throwing all the trash-mouth. Hingis now is a very classy woman who has realized that was just young and foolish hubris talking. She has nothing but good wishes for the Williams sisters now. Like you I hope Serena can climb to the top of the mountain and be the greatest ever.

          • Octopus says:

            HIngis was smokin’! Glad to hear she’s matured into a wonderful adult female of the species.

            In other news, check out the reflection in the mirror of Angelique’s bum. Hello! 🙂

  22. Octopus says:

    Yeah, that’s a great piece, Chunky. So much better-written and thought out than those articles you used to push, by the likes of Mark Steyn, Victor Davis Hanson, Thomas Sowell, Charles Krauthammer, to name just a few. It’s so refreshing, to hear the young moongirls sing out!

    https://twitter.com/tina_nguyen?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor

  23. Octopus says:

    🙂

  24. Because olo says:

    This is for Righty.

  25. Because olo says:

    Fail.

    • Ha. It was 1933 that he was named chancellor. 15 years off. Shit rags like Life and Time and Newsweek are comical parodies of actual journalism. Chunk think’s their super neat because they’re all about the made up retard progressive narrative. Short on truth or facts, of course since they place no value on those things.

      • Octopus says:

        What if it’s true, that Chunky’s sudden stupidity in 2009 was caused by a closed-head injury from a vicious face-plant off the bike? Would we all have to suddenly feel bad, and feel sorry for him? I don’t think I’m up for that, personally.

        • You would be very kind if you did give him any slack. And I’m with you. I think putting everything together, the putzy guitar mediocrity and his relative quietude during the golden years of LGF points to he was an azzhat all along. He just made a libtard ass of himself in ’09 and since to verify it.

    • He promised Hope and Change.

  26. Because olo says:

    HOT DIGGITY DAMN!!!!!

    • pineapple says:

      I’m thinking that good news for our side……. any conservative worth their salt hates that asshole.

      • Octopus says:

        OMFG…Bloomberg. He’s going to make us all drink smaller soft-drinks, and maybe no hard stuff. Fuck you, Bloomie! We have our gold-plated billionaire candidate, and his hair is kicking ass and taking names. 😆

        Btw, I had a “hard root beer” this evening, named “Not Your Father’s Root Beer,” and it was delicious. And it’s 5.9% alcohol, a percentage we used to drive to Windsor for in our youth, to get that Molson Brador in a drinkable brew. So, drink up, kids. Have a nice hard root beer float, while you’re lighting off the roman candles and whatnot this winter. In the living room.

  27. Octopus says:

    Here’s how old we is — the following is cool to me. 😳

    I just entered the Bluetooth-era this week, thanks to me lucky Irish future son-in-law (maybe, we’ll see). I have the whole house connected to whatever audio source I desire now, including my new bathroom radio/alarm clock, which can wake me up with ever-increasing volume of bird-songs, or my favorite full-volume Led Zep boneshaker, or whatever noises I deem fitting to such impolite disturbance. The HDTV we got for Christmas is now hooked up to our old-ish theater surround system, by magic, or by direct optical cable, whichever we prefer in the moment. Sometimes, you need the magic. The household-server Paddy set up is the magic. If you don’t have one, just do it. It’s awesome.

    On the techno-downside, we realized this weekend that the wife is addicted to her Iphone, and has to go to rehab. If she isn’t texting with one of her crazy cousins or lovely kids, she’s checking her email (working), or playing Candy Crush. It’s not optimal, because she sometimes doesn’t answer her hubby immediately when he’s talking directly to her, about something important like dinner or the latest on Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna. The whole family is sad about this, and has been texting each other about various treatment-options, including online therapy which is geared for modern smartphone patients. The hubby is like a person living with a heroin addict, trying to stay off the spike himself, but not sure how much longer he can hold out. Please pray for us.

    • It’s all so nuts. I’m just happy to have a 46 inch HD TV with the 220 refresh rate so B-ball, NFL and Tennis look like I’m looking through a window. I have a laptop from work and their software is so exact now it automatically logs in to THEIR system and blocks all social media. Even when I’m at home. I can still look at blogs like Daedalus and news sites like Drudge. But I have to go to my phone when someone’s commenting about Twitter stuff. Or my 8 year old computer in the basement which ain’t happenin’. LOL! But that phone is a stupid little iPhone 4 and it craps out half the time. I need a tablet or a big iPhone6 which I’m happy to pay for but fricking’ eh. I got shit to do. I can’t keep up. I gotta take the Xmas lights down and go on college visits and shit. Gaaaah!

      🙂

  28. What a joke. We have a criminal and a traitor with a rapist husband running for Preezydunce. And the FBI, which has the clear goods on her ass is just “super pissed”. Wow. Can you find your c*nts with both hands ladies?

    http://www.weaselzippers.us/253963-catherine-herridge-doj-fbi-super-pissed-off-at-white-house-interfering-comments-on-hillary-investigation/#disqus_thread

    Good comment at WZ

    Super pissed off?! That sounds so manly. Do they sit at their desks and hiss, while they do their nails?

    If they’re so pissed off, they can quit, they can refuse their paychecks, they can do something a bit more effective than bitch and moan.

    BTW I know we’re supposed to be a bit pissed at WZ for apparently banning Buzzsaw. I didn’t see the interchange or why it happened. I have to say though that I have a mixed history with Buzz. My first interchange with him at LGF was him trying to get me banned. I won’t bother with the stupid details. I did enjoy his parody songs though and he’s quite a witty fellow in general. I hold nothing against him despite our initial start. I’m still going to check out WZ because he delivers a good product and has his own hands full with adversaries and trying to make a profit providing a good product.

    • Octopus says:

      My two-cents on Buzzsaw: I loved his parodies, but I didn’t care for his superior tone in discussing such items as gay people, with whom he has a vicious hate-on. Get over it, dude. I have lots of gay friends and relatives, and they aren’t all communist traitors seeking to overthrow America. Just a couple of them are. I’ll send you their names, so you can have them burnt at the stake.

      • My first exposure to gayness was at a restaurant I was a bus boy at. My mom was a waitress and got me the job. One waiter was flamboyantly gay with a big mustache and a mullet (circa ’77). I remember one time he told an attractive waitress “Why you don’t you sit on my lap and we’ll talk about whatever comes up”. LOL! He was hilarious, self deprecating and totally unthreatening. Just a funny cool guy trying to get by. Not trying to take over anything.

        • Octopus says:

          The craziest idea ever among straight people is the idea that gay people choose to be gay, just to be difficult, different or “other.” Or communist, as Buzz seems to think. I know his experiences are different than mine, so I try not to be too judge-y, but dude…you’re fucked-up on this. Because my kids grew up doing theater and being surrounded by gay theater boys, and because I spent a couple of my college years working in the first Borders Bookstore, founded by a gay man and staffed (and distaffed) mostly by gay people, I know a little bit about the non-breeding breed. They felt more threatened then, than they do now, but the mentality of being “other” is still deeply-ingrained in them. One of my daughter’s roommates in college had his nose broken for no reason at a college party last year, just because he “sounded gay” in asking a drunken troublemaker to leave his house, where my daughter also lives. Campus police promised to pursue the puncher and press charges, and then nothing ever happened. Our friend’s health insurance ended up paying for the new nose, but the puncher is still a student on MSU’s campus, with no repercussions.

          • Minnow says:

            Though I am sure Barry and his ilk will sneer at this, I will say….

            gay, straight…. we are all God’s children.

        • ISpeakJive says:

          My college roommate my sophomore year was gay. Brilliant girl. Sciencey and artistic and utterly original. But just figuring out the gay thing was here to stay. Oy, the angst. She’s a vegan moonbat now and practically runs PETA. Double Oy.

          • Octopus says:

            I have to be the a-hole now, and confess something: I prefer the gay males to the lesbians, in general. The femmes are very angry, and hostile in general. The males are much more chill. It may surprise some, that the two groups don’t along well with each other, the male gays and the lesbians. I guess it shouldn’t be too surprising, given the ongoing, eternal War Of Teh Sexes, but I was kinda surprised, when it first came to my attention, about 25 years ago. And recently, it still seems to be the same deal. You’d think the homos of both sexes would band together, against us breeders. Not the case at all. While they may both vote more libturded than the straights, they can’t hang out in the same bars together for very long. Sassy meets spunky, and sparks will fly. And then fists.

          • Because olo says:

            I lived on a very lesbian-heavy island, and there are a lot of rather invisible “leave me alone” dykes, who are actually pretty easy to get along with. They prefer to live out in the woods where people leave them alone. You never see them though, unless you happen to be their neighbors. The blend in, rather quietly, with the rednecks, who would be the first ones to come to their defense if some mainlander tried to do anything to them.

            Sociology is complicated.

          • pineapple says:

            Maybe this is why they are angry and hostile. Must suck to be them.

            Lesbian bed death
            From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

            Lesbian bed death is a term coined by University of Washington sociologist Pepper Schwartz in her 1983 book American Couples.[1] According to Schwartz, lesbian couples in committed relationships have less sex than any other type of couple, and they generally experience less sexual intimacy the longer the relationship lasts.

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lesbian_bed_death

          • Octopus says:

            My favorite aunt, my mother’s youngest sister, has been living in a committed relationship with her younger partner for 25 years or so. We love them both, and we talk all the time, even though the libturded politics of the partner get on our nerves occasionally. My wife had to block a bunch of their sources on Facebook, in order to get some peace. Now it’s all cool, aside from the occasional crazy remark about some RethugliKKKan or other. We get those from others in the family, too, who are breeders or youngsters. I’m sure most can relate to this situation. You can’t hate everybody who doesn’t conform to your political ideals, if you want to live a happy life, with family, friends and professional performers doing their thing for your entertainment.

  29. Pakimon says:

    Somewhere in a Denver suburb, Gus has narrowly escaped his confrontation with the snarling rottweiler.

    It seems the “pungent aroma” of Gus’ fear induced blast of underwear destroying wet flatulence had filled the nostrils of the poor dog and sent him running off, shaking his head and yelping in distress.

    Gus finally gets a break and he returns to observing the sultry temptress.

    He gawks in wonder.

    She’s so taut… She’s so tawny…

    • Pakimon says:

      She begins her stretching routine and Gus is ecstatic. He’s seen her do this before but hopefully he won’t get “rudely interrupted” this time.

      This routine is better than the last time and Gus gives his stamp of approval.

    • Pakimon says:

      She begins her yoga routine with a mind numbing split. Gus can’t believe his eyes! He presses his grimy face against the window glass for a better look, causing it to fog with each heavy breath.

    • Pakimon says:

      Gus takes in the lovely visage through the increasingly fogged up glass.

      He focuses on every detail, right down to the colors of the sultry temptress’ scanty attire.

    • Pakimon says:

      Gus can’t take anymore.

      It’s time for some “self-gratification”.

      No half measures this time, time to “get ‘er done”!

      Gus moves decisively…

    • Pakimon says:

      Just then, a chorus of male voices echo from within the house.

      The sultry temptress stops her routine, dons a robe and exits the room.

      Gus is furious, his bout of potential self gratification thwarted yet again!

    • Pakimon says:

      Gus sighs and drops back down into the bushes.

      He turns around to leave only to find himself confronted by a pair of angry men.

      Gus, his hand still gripping his crotch, stops short and shrugs with embarrassment and chagrin.

    • Pakimon says:

      The pair of angry men knock Gus to the ground, grab hold of the waistband of his underwear and yank it up over his head, administering The Mother of all atomic wedgies.

      The soiled and skidmarked backside of Gus’ underwear is now in front of his nose causing him to gasp for air as the pungent aroma overwhelms him.

      Gus manages to get up and he totters off like some misbegotten Frankenstein with arms flailing, laughter and catcalls ringing in his ears.

      Gus’ heart fills with thoughts of vengeance. He won’t be foiled so easily!

    • Pakimon says:

      More catcalls ring out and filter through the underwear covering his ears

      Something about dishwashers…

      Gus isn’t amused.

    • Pakimon says:

      The underwear finally rips from the stress of the atomic wedgie. It tears free and snaps back down to Gus’ ass crack, leaving only the elastic waistband around his chin. The tattered remains of Gus’ underwear flap behind him like a tail.

      Gus reels towards the familiar confines of the garage before he remembers his “rooming privileges” have been revoked.

      Gus wonders if he should knock on the door and beg for one more chance.

      He decides against it and snivels dejectedly.

      He totters off down the street and vanishes into the darkness….

  30. Because olo says:

    Somebody with impeccable writing skills like Mr. Toot? 😆

  31. Because olo says:

    What?

    • Minnow says:

      So says the obese, uneducated douche bag who has never been an employee or employer,
      the internet expert authority on all things.

      • kbdabear says:

        Toot’s divorce was reportedly very acrimonious. While I don’t think he’s a wife beater, I can see him having her followed everywhere, checking up on her at all times, putting a tracking device on her car, listening in on her phone calls, reading her mail, tracking her computer usage.. and that’s AFTER they separated…

        • Octopus says:

          If only we could get the ex-Mrs. Johnson to spill, here. That would be even better than a current photo of Fatass McDumbth, I would wager.

  32. Because olo says:

  33. pineapple says:

  34. Because olo says:

    There’s at least one good journalist out there.

  35. Because olo says:

  36. Because olo says:

    olo

    • Octopus says:

      Young Richards was insanely, criminally attractive as a starlet. She’s still gorgeous now, but she was in another world then. 😯

      See: “Starship Troopers”…not just for her, because it’s a great flick. But mostly for her. 😆

        • Octopus says:

          It’s classic. I was blown away the first time I saw it, in a great theater with a big crowd, and the volume cranked up to 11. That pic of Richards getting pronged there, is extremely ouchie. Just a flesh-wound, or “a shot through the shoulder” as they used to call non life-threatening wounds on “Combat,” but still very painful-looking. She’s handling it well. A real trooper.

  37. Minnow says:

    Headline at Drudge: 10,000 Migrant Children missing in Europe

    Those are the children that are 15-years old that need a shave by Noon…. those children are the ones missing.

    Nothing to see here.

    Keep moving…..

  38. I’m a moron Hollyweirdo libtard. Take me seriously! Actually I just want you to look at my tits! Oh and take all the money in the world and cure world hunger and shit er something.

    • Octopus says:

      I’ve never been a fan of Sarandon’s boobs. They always reminded me of one of my childhood friend’s Mom’s boobs, which were always hanging out, and hanging too far, if you know what I mean. She liked to go out and pull weeds on the front lawn, bending over in a shirt that showed way too much…even as horny young kids, we were kinda embarrassed. For our friend, and for her. Desperate for attention is never a good look.

      Sarandon being a dumb libturd didn’t help her cause any, in my estimation. One stupid political pronouncement after another.

      • Abu likes boobies boobies boobies lol says:

        She should have to bare her breastistsistses to have the moral high ground. Without permanent boobage images I’m not interested in her arguments. Call me a pig, don’t care. Are you all in on boobies or not? Then we can debate.

      • ISpeakJive says:

        She looks lit. And by that I don’t mean the recent hipster usage of lit. I mean too many vodka tonics, lit.

    • Minnow says:

      Hey Susan, get a clue and act your age. You are embarrassing yourself whether you know it or not. There are SO many hot young babes strutting their stuff in Hollywood. Soor Granny, your train left the station about 30 years ago.

  39. You all need to listen to my moron activism because I barely understand anything other than it’s important to ….Tits. Because conservatives are like totaly anti-Tit. Probly.

    https://metrouk2.files.wordpress.com/2016/01/ad_194896252-e1454230049256.jpg?w=620&h=687&crop=1

    • Octopus says:

      Kate Winslet, on the other hand, despite being a libturded-twit and whatnot, is always hot. Even when she’s chubby. There’s something about her. You are welcome to disagree, as many people do, but I think she’s semi-bulletproof. I mean, I would probably HATE her in real life, but I would never know her in real life, so who knows? I think we could work things out, if we were stranded on a tropical island together, with enough food to keep her obviously healthy appetite fairly satisfied. I think Kate would be a handful, if she got desperately peckish. Who would emerge on top of the food-chain? I wouldn’t go to sleep on it. Stay alert, with a hefty stick or rock handy.