Mr. Toot has the power!

In the imaginary world of LGF, Mr. Toot can influence elections. Charles claims to have to have “the power” to make sure politicians he likes does not get elected.

I Have Power

I am sure political campaigns factor in Charles Johnson’s “power” to influence electoral results! He ought to use of his vaunted “power” to stop eating so many God damned ring-dings!


145 Comments on “Mr. Toot has the power!”

  1. Voltaire's Crack says:

    Warning: Fart in a blizzard alert.

  2. kbdabear says:

    Toot needs a few more bucks in his begging bowl if he wants The Power

    Speaking of GoFundMe, Mary Katherine Ham lost her husband in a bicycle accident this past Saturday and money is being raised for their children’s education and other needs.

    200K goal, 181K already donated in 23 hours by 2109 people as of this comment.

    If Toot says just once “Wingnuts falling for a scam” about this, then I hope he chokes to death on his artisanal cheese sandwich

    • Chunky's Missing Brain says:

      Chunkles lost a bag of Cheetos behind the couch and a poo flinging contest with Ginger. Hence his GoFundMe swindle campaign attempt that has netted a paltry third of his paltry goal of $10,000 after 3 months of begging on Twitter.

  3. kbdabear says:

    Hey, I thought Toot was the smartest software expert on the internet?

  4. Octopus ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

    He doesn’t have the power to get off the futon and go outside, much less influence anything. How’s the begging bowl doing? That’s a pretty good indicator of how many people give a flying frigganza about Fatass. 😆

    In other news, people do care about helping good people, especially those suffering from true loss. I donated to the fund for Mary Katherine Ham’s kids’ college, which is going to hit its goal very soon, less than 24 hours after starting.

    • kbdabear says:

      Remember Toot’s explanation for that; When conservative people or cause get massive donations in a short time, it’s because “stupid RWNJ’s are being scammed LOL”, but when Toot can’t raise more than 3 grand in 4 months, it’s “sabotage from the Stalker Blog!”

    • kbdabear says:

      Since my post at the top less than 1 hour ago, the fund is up to 186K

      5 thousand dollars in less than an hour.

      It helps if people who see you on TV and the internet tend to like you

      • Chunky's Missing Brain says:

        Also if you’re intelligent, professional and don’t just blanket dismiss an entire political party as “bad people with bad agendas” er something and pretend it’s not a bat shit crazy assed moron thing to say.

      • I an sure it also has to do with likability and integrity, two traits that Charlatan does not possess.

  5. Because olo olololololo hahahahah pfffffft snort teeheeheehee says:


    😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆

  6. trebob ( . Y . ) says:

    In his mind, Charles envisions himself like this:

    Guess old Gus ends up being the cat.

    • Because olo says:

      He imagines himself to be Aragorn. He’s really more like Gollum.

      Put PRECIOUS in my GoFundMe bowl!!!!!!!

      • Chunky's Missing Brain says:

        Except the only ring Chunkles has is the orange one around his pie hole after devouring 3 bags of Cheetos.

        And possibly this attempt at healthy eating in a fevered panic of guilt having once again trashed his last attempt to lose that extra 200 he put on after he broke like the wind from the right.

      • pineapple says:

        I’d probably chomp that actually.

      • Bunk X says:

        I don’t know. There are like human shapes in that stuff. Gimme slugs.

  7. Because olo says:

    Watch him pivot again, and become Donald’s BFF in 2016.

    😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆

    • Octopus ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

      Or, maybe Carly’s. She’s making some headway. He’s going to be bra-snapping like crazy until she (possibly) wins, though. Oh, the rank misogyny! 😯

  8. Doppel milyo says:

    Charles is going to do EVERYTHING IN HIS POWER

    so in other words, Nothing

    • OLT's It's Fucking BRIGHT Outside The Donkey Show says:

      If breaking very foul wind in a bungalow in Culver City will take down Ted Cruz, Ted had better get nervous.

  9. kbdabear says:

    Toot loves this because Ben Carson allows Toot to let his inner racist run free without making him a pariah among his fellow white proggies

    • OLT's It's Fucking BRIGHT Outside The Donkey Show says:

      At least he’s not misusing “racist” or “racism” while whining about completely accurate statements about Islam.

      What’s amusing is that Stalker Charles has and will spouted much worse crap than this about Christianity, and doesn’t see the disconnect.

      Of course, he’s never seen any of his disconnects, so I guess that’s not news.

      • PeteP says:

        Muslims believe in Sharia law, which mandates second class status for women. And yet, Chuck defends Muslims and their ideology while claiming he’s all for women’s rights. Now that’s what you call a disconnect.

      • OLT's It's Fucking BRIGHT Outside The Donkey Show says:

        What they do for wymyn is nothing compared to how much they love teh gays.

        Yet Progs defend their right to be backwards 199%, all while worrying loudly about the horrible terrible Christian theocracy or some such tinfoil hat nonsense.

        They need an editor to correct the conflicts in their scripts. Debbie Whatshername Sergeant Schulze ain’t cuttin’ it.

    • Liz_Ardoid says:

    • Charlatan, please show us the exact words by Carson that are anti-Muslim. You, like the rest of the Leftoid insane asylum, twist, obfuscate and lie. Carson said he believed that if a person’s religious views were not in alignment with the Constitution, they don’t belong in the Oval Office.
      My God, you are despicable.

  10. Arachne says:

    Dude, it’s time you come to grips with the reality of the situation.
    You’re a nobody. You really, frankly, weren’t all that much of a SOMEBODY before 2008 and you’ve hit the skids since then. Your Twitter follower count is anemic compared to those you think you’re seriously “taking on” —

    Glenn Greenwald – 560K
    Steven Crowder – 126K
    Ben Shapiro – 111K
    Stacy McCain – 89.5K
    Pam Geller – 82K
    Robert Spencer – 33.6K

    oh and one more

    Andrew Breitbart – 80.2K
    (and he got many of them AFTER he died).

    So parade around your filthy house with your little cardboard sword all you want and preach to the 12 people on your blog that sit with rapt attention at every word.

  11. Captain Death says:

    Mr. Toot does not even have the power to get a blow job off of Irish Rose.

    • OLT's It's Fucking BRIGHT Outside The Donkey Show says:

      He had a parting of the ways with that sweet, sweet lassie.

      He even booted Sharmuta.

      All his relationships with women come to an end, except for the hate-stalking and whining. THAT part lasts pretty much forever.

      • Because yooge olo (*Y*) says:

        What happened to Ms. fruit and water?

      • OLT's It's Fucking BRIGHT Outside The Donkey Show says:

        No idea, just hope she’s alive and well.

        I wouldn’t wish death by pannus-slapping on anyone.

      • rightymouse says:

        Matted Harry survived her servitude at Fatso’s house as far as anyone knows. As for Irish Rose, what a beeyotch. Sharmuta was a very confused lass with major issues it seemed, at least from afar at the time. Was treated terribly by Fatso. But he’s an ass-hole, so no surprises there.

    • Octopus ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

      ‘Twas said of Rose, she loved a good chaw of tobaccy afore she went to blowin’. Many a man came away feeling like he’d fooked an old cloggy carburetor, ’tis true. Desperate times, desperate men, desperate pleasures.

  12. Because yooge olo (*Y*) says:

  13. Charles, just start issuing Fatwas against presidential candidates. You have just as much power as you say Pamela Geller has. She can summon jihadists. You can do the same, right, Chunky?

  14. Because yooge olo (*Y*) says:

    The comments on this are priceless (click through to the yootoob page).

    • OLT's It's Fucking BRIGHT Outside The Donkey Show says:


      David Madeira 18 hours ago
      You need to do a whole series called #InventLikeAhmed
      Reply · 49

    • OLT's It's Fucking BRIGHT Outside The Donkey Show says:

      Also the comment about deceptive editing, because the video didn’t show him spending the additional 40 seconds to remove the screws. OMG.

    • pineapple says:

      That’s great……. the libtards bought it hook, line, and Allah. When it was revealed to be a hoax, they couldn’t admit they were had.

    • I’ll give the kid some credit, as he played a shit ton of people. Hard. Epic win, from his perspective.

      Now that it’s pretty obvious that he didn’t “build” or “invent” the clock, I get a kick out of all the people defending him (“quit beating up on a 14 y/o kid!”), letting it fly right over their heads that it means that he really did build a hoax bomb after all, and it was his intention to provoke a response. The #istandwithahmed dupes are dug in; no amount of logic or facts are going to dig them out.

      The local authorities probably put it all together quickly, which is why they arrested him and stuck with the suspension, and aren’t apologizing. Someone at the police station looked at the case and said “yea, cute ‘invention’ kid”.

  15. Because yooge olo (*Y*) says:

    Toot. This is how a blog makeover is done.

  16. Octopus ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

    Oh no you dit’nt! 😆

    • Arachne says:

      Yes because Bill Kristol is an accomplished nationally reknowned publisher and analyst. Whereas we have to keep reminding people who you are when your name is brought up. Most of them think you’re a linebacker in the NFL. Or will you start targeting him for having the same name as you do.

      And by the way, I do love that you think “Icarus” is a cool, cool stage name for yourself. Because as we all know, Icarus was a dumbass who didn’t listen to anyone and thought he knew better than anyone, the result of which was one of the greater “epic fails” in Greek Mythology.

      It’s like Toyota – apparently years ago they must have looked at some Shakespeare titles and came upon “Troilus and Cressida” and thought the latter was a great name for a compact car. A little research would have revealed that Cressida was a faithless whore who betrayed her lover in the Trojan War which resulted in him being killed.

      • Nice use of $10 words and Shakespeare referencea, dittohead, but you didn’t show where he’s wrong. In other news I poopied in my drawers again.

      • Voltaire's Crack says:

        An assertion void of argument is deserving of ridicule, in that offers nothing to refute.

        Unless you consider “Right. McAlwaysright. Right again” some kind of syllogism.

      • Because yooge olo (*Y*) says:

        Silly jizz-em is more Spanky’s speed.

      • Arachne says:

        It”s YOU Fatass. Error is a given. Bet it bugs the shit out of you that I use those $10 words effortlessly and you needed a thesaurus to look up what I wrote.

        And funny how “Dittoheads” have vocabularies and all you have is “same shit, different day.”

      • Because yooge olo (•Y•) says:

        Even without the vocabulary, Iowahawk can write a whole article with only one word, which has more wit than everything Toot’s published combined.

    • Dudebro says:

      Chuckles the prognosticator:

  17. Octopus ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

    If you think everyone else in the world who used to agree with went stark raving insane, is it possible or probable that it’s actually you, who’s lost the thread? Ponder that between bites, Fatass. Might slow down your eating a bit, too.

    What the hell happened to Richard Dawkins? He wasn’t always this whacked out.
    51 minutes ago

    Richard Dawkins didn’t just link to Breitbart – he actually linked an article by raving paranoid Birther loon Frank Gaffney.
    1 hour ago

    • kbdabear says:

      Better get your mind right, Mr Dawkins. The Great and Powerful Toot has put you on probation and as the NY Times article once said, “Johnson likes to remind his readers that he is always watching”

  18. Octopus ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

    Goosestep is really late to the Twitter-party tonight. Had a really rough landing, last night.

  19. Have any of you been outside today? You’ll probably feel better and stop obsessing over Charles if you just get outside and play a little.

    I can’t go anywhere. Restraining orders say so.

    • Octopus ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

      Go outside and smell the dog-poop, Stabby. Maybe clean some of it up. After you play with it, of course.

    • Because yooge olo (*Y*) says:

      The name is Toot.

      • Octopus ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

        Yooge Toot.

      • Because yooge olo (*Y*) says:

        Yooge Icky (short for Icarus) Toot.


      • Abu says:

        Under/over on number of days since Toots went outside for at least 4 minutes? He spoke of a dinner with “friends” recently. I believe Fuckface hasn’t been out since the divorce but my bet is 55 days.

        Always good to see Franky-Stabby-Chuck. Not.

      • Octopus ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

        Yesterday he showed up calling himself “Tom Leykis,” apparently an LA podcaster. Why so many names? Well, he’s a big, heavyset pile of pork. Too big for one name. Or three.

    • Chunky's Missing Brain says:

      Yes. I did a 45 minute run like yesterday. It was the typical cool late summer weather you expect when you know GloBull Warmening and Commie Change dumbth are libtard Progturd lies. IOW very pleasant.

    • Bunk X says:

      But it’s hot outside and the humanity is up to a bazillion.

  20. Because yooge olo (•Y•) says:


  21. Octopus ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

    Why, Fatass? Don’t like to be reminded of the monsters you support so blindly? Find the pics unsettling?

  22. Minnow says:

    Barry, you are letting that High School Debate Team schtick show through again…. “fuck yourself. Assholes.”

    Come on Barry, it is so hard to take you seriously when you show so many of your cards.

    Face it, you have been dealt a crappy hand AND you don’t even know how to play the game!

    What else do you expect to do but lose you dumb ass!!?!11!?!

    Oh – and have a nice day!!!


  23. Octopus ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

    Is this the song Icky Toot was hearing, when he imagined he had any power to influence anything having to do with anything? 😆

  24. Octopus ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

    Aw, Mr. Peevish is so cute when he’s an angry pussy! 😆

    • Arachne says:

      Oh yeah. Like everyone worries about your emotional temperature. Shows what no sex and constipation will do for you.

  25. Octopus ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

    This is the first whole day Goosestep has gone without tweeting, since the Twitterwar Theater opened its crusty doors. Somebody want to go check on him, out in the garage? Hope he didn’t freeze to death, or drink too much antifreeze.

  26. Octopus ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

    $248,500, in a day. God bless America.

    How’s Chunky’s thing doing, ye ask? Well…six days ago, Chunky anonymously donated $25 to his own fund, raising the not-so-grand total to $3150, in four months. The previous donation was over a month before that. It’s not a hot property, in other words. Seems a bit stale, like the Cheetos stuck in the futon cushions. 😦

    • Because yooge olo (•Y•) says:

      Maybe if Toot got in a bike accident he’d do better?

      • Minnow says:

        Wait – didn’t he already do that?

        Except that he lost 30% of his IQ because of the accident and is now hovering around the mid-forties.


        Sorry – a joke…….

        ….now, actually hovering around the mid-twenties…..

  27. kbdabear says:

    Toot got Shapiro and Crowder to reply to him once after a dozen or more tweets at them, so now it’s time for another Pamtrum to see if his lost love will gaze his way …

  28. Bunk X says:

  29. Juan Epstein says:

    63 yr old tweeting cat pics.


  30. Pakimon {_(",)_} says:

    Gus is still missing from the universe of Twitter.

    What could have possibly happened?

    A) Used up his minutes and data.

    B) Neighbors put a password on their wifi

    C) Obamaphone broke when he dropped it on the floor

    D) Trash truck came while Gus was dumpster diving and he’s now wandering around the dump with no signal

    E) Thrown in jail for vagrancy

    F) Finally got evicted from the garage and is now “in transit” to Culver City

    G) Dudebros got him and he’s duct taped to a telephone pole with an atomic wedgie

    • Pakimon {_(",)_} says:

      H) Hospitalized with food poisoning from eating rancid Banquet chicken pot pies.

      I) His family staged an “intervention” and he’s strapped to chair being “reprogrammed” like Malcolm McDowell in A Clockwork Orange 😆

    • Chunky's Missing Brain says:

      A Denver cold snap has him trapped under the covers.

    • pineapple says:

      H) Natural gas leak in the water heater.

  31. Juan Epstein says:

    Sound like a threat of violence.

    Where will you be when the greviance collector of CC goes off?

  32. Arachne says:

    Just for shits and grins, maybe we should take some screenshots of Fatty’s Frank persona’s turds left at this site and publish them on Twitter.

  33. Octopus ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

    Will you still mock me, will you still block me,
    When I’m 64?

    Another day of peeve begins, in the sodden bunker. 🙂

    • Arachne says:

      Now he’s telling his OWN side to Eff off.

    • OLT's It's Fucking BRIGHT Outside The Donkey Show says:

      Bwahahahaha! Stalker Charles said, “I think …”.

      That’s your first lie in that Tweet, right there.

      Cheese Gravy guy is right. If it’s just a clump of cells, if it’s just the by-products of an abortion (the most important single procedure in women’s healthcare, and we ALL know how much you love and respect and honor women), then what could possibly be disturbing about pictures of it? It’s just SCIENCE! at that point, right?

      Does Ahmed need to come over and explain it to you? Maybe if Neil DeGrasse Tyson came over with him (I mean, Bill Nye is an accomplished tool, but let’s face it, he’s a white male)? Would that help?

      • Because yooge olo (•Y•) says:

        I think therefore I scam.

        Donate to my GoFundMe page!!!

      • Because yooge olo (•Y•) says:

        I just had a chilling thought. Imagine what Ahmed and Ludwig could do to a fridge. Of course, they’d try to kill each other because Ludwig is a Zionist. One of them would end up in the fridge.

    • kbdabear says:

      I wasn’t on my High School Debate Team like Toot said he was, but I’m pretty sure you were penalized for telling your opponents to fuck off

      • Arachne says:

        I would think if he were on the high school debate team, this would have come up when he had actual followers that he could impress with this. I don’t seem to recall him mentioning it. Of course, now that he actually has to engage in debate because he lives on Twitter, he seems to be having a real hard time of it.

  34. Juan Epstein says:

    This is me, the antiSemite hosting 63 year old kyphotic shut in, wielding my power from my office by blocking people for tweeting pictures of aborted fetuses after I tweeted a picture of an aborted fetus just the other day in my Crowder tweet.

    [Insert cat pic]

  35. Doppel milyo says:

    Charles is really the spoiled milk in the refrigerator of life

  36. Doppel milyo says:

    I wonder if Gus has assumed garage temperature?

    • trebob ( . Y . ) says:

      If Gus got a job, he’d be singing it from the rooftops. Since he’s so quiet, he must have run outta data on his Obamaphone. Could be we have a reprieve from Gus’ madness until the 1st rolls around.

  37. OLT's It's Fucking BRIGHT Outside The Donkey Show says:

    The most hilarious CNN fluff piece EVER, IMO:

    Trying to appear “serious” and “balanced” makes it even funnier!

    How can we possibly kiss Obama’s ass AND pump up support for a leftist Pope that hates the US? Like this! See? Aren’t we wonderfully worldly, yet sensitive?

    OMG, this is just sooooo good!

    • Because yooge olo (•Y•) says:

      And don’t say the “a” word…

      • OLT's It's Fucking BRIGHT Outside The Donkey Show says:

        You mean the Pope may NOT erase one of the bedrock principles of the Catholic Church?

        You mean he may NOT endorse the most IMPORTANT part of wymyn’s healthcare?

        And, somehow, the American Left, whose religion is based on the central tenet of abortion, will find a way to celebrate his other, less diverse, beliefs.

        Or maybe he’ll join them at the fiery altars.

  38. kbdabear says:

    Of course this would matter if Toot had driven a car in the last 7 years

    Yeh, I can see the iCar coming out as soon as Apple finds a slave labor factory in China that will contract to build the cars on the cheap

    Fanboy Millenials are probably starting to camp out now to buy one, even though Millenials have the lowest percentage of any generation that drives a car. Maybe they can buy one for their mommies to drive them around in

    • Arachne says:

      Fanboy Millenials are probably starting to camp out now to buy one,

      I raise my coffee and the red pencil in toast.

      • Because yooge olo (•Y•) says:

        Is there something going on with the net in SF? None of the big sites in the Bay Area, including Google, seem to be working.

    • Octopus ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

      This will be the “bridge too far” for Apple, I say. Making cars is a crazy-hard business, and making sparky-cars that nobody really wants is going to be the hubris-move that erases many zeroes from the Apple bottom-line, along with many from our government, which is bound to jump in and subsidize the failing venture. Go to town, Apple! 😆

      • Because yooge olo (•Y•) says:

        My guess is they’re playing the long game, which is self-driving cars. The tech companies may be able to beat the auto industry at that. I think this is going to happen faster than most people think. In 20 or 30 years, most people won’t own their own cars; they’ll get around using self-driving Uber taxis, which will be cheaper by the mile than owned cars.

        And public transpiration will still be a big fat loser proposition, just like it is now.