On The Origin Of The Phrase “Little Green Footballs.”

There’s been some mystery surrounding the name “Little Green Footballs,” and Charles Johnson’s always been cagey about it. When asked about the meaning, he responds in vague terms: “I’m not at liberty to say.”

I suspect he’s embarrassed to admit that he was once an insecure pill-popper who had an affinity for Xanax. The following is from a Q&A drug forum:

Here’s another.


Xanax has been around a long time under different street names, and has been identified as a drug prone for abuse. Yes, Charles Johnson has never confessed to drug abuse, but

…this explains a lot.

Oh, and Charles, since you don’t read here, if this premise is incorrect, and the phrase “Little Green Footballs” has nothing to do with drugs, let us know and we’ll correct the record. Honest.

68 Comments on “On The Origin Of The Phrase “Little Green Footballs.””

  1. Pakimon {_(",)_} says:

    Now we know what Chunkles is referring to when he bleats about the “nutrition bars” he crams into his piehole. 😆

  2. rightymouse says:

    Well, we DO know that he’s denied that it means green snotballs, so there’s not much left.

  3. Pakimon {_(",)_} says:

    It a beautiful Sunday morning and it time for part two of NFL blah, blah, blah, etc

    Today The Philadelphia Eagles host Cowpokes from Texas in battle for NFC East supremacy.

    Pakimog will be monitoring closely when at Jaguars game today for Pakimog regard Cowpokes with contempt and disdain!

    This Eagles cheerleader does as well!

    At work and at eco-friendly bikini play! 😀

    • Because olo says:

      Why are her boobs bigger on the right?

      • Pakimon {_(",)_} says:

        Professor Pakimon has a formula that explains it.

        Elastic + Tension = Containment or E + T = C

        These properties are found in polyester weave cheerleader tops but not eco-friendly bikini tops made from palm frond fibers and the like.

        It’s all about the science! 😀

      • Octopus ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

        Those are Young Earth Creationist boobs! 🙂

        Today I watched the Vikings march down the field on their first possession like the Lions weren’t even on the field, and turned the game off. Took a blissful nap. It was such a great decision.

  4. Octopus ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

    Steyn, who used to be regularly featured on LGF pre-Moronic Conversion, has some pithy advice for Trump and others who are put in the crosshairs of the self-identified Liberal MSM’s political correctness enforcement arm. His summation of the clockmaker case is right on the money, too.

    Get Lost, You Palace-Guard Creeps
    by Mark Steyn
    Steyn on America
    September 19, 2015

    Isis prepare to behead a group of Christian men on a beach in Hillary Clinton’s Libya

    As the week ended, Obama’s palace guard in the American media were demanding that every other Republican candidate distance himself from Donald Trump’s failure to correct, among thousands of attendees at his events, one who apparently is under the reprehensible illusion that the President is a Muslim.

    Any candidate who plays this game with the Obamamedia is a fool. Assuming for the sake of argument that the questioner is genuine and not a plant (like, say, the 14-year old all-American schoolboy clockmaker who didn’t make a clock at all and is the son of a belligerent Muslim activist and perennial Sudanese presidential candidate whose brother runs a trucking company amusingly called Twin Towers Transportation), putting all of that to one side, there are several entirely reasonable responses one could make to the gentlemen of the press:

    1) Unlike Hillary Clinton’s under-attended “rallies”, a voter doesn’t have to undergo a background check or sign a piece of paper pledging to support her in the election before being permitted into a Republican candidate’s presence. So at our campaign events there are all kinds of people with all kinds of views – and it goes without saying I won’t agree with them all. If you find that odd, maybe you’ve been covering Hillary too long.

    2) Why does one Republican candidate’s “scandal” get hung around the neck of every other guy’s? I’ll answer your question to me about Donald Trump’s gaffe after you ask Bernie Sanders, Martin O’Malley, Lincoln Chafee and Joe Biden about Hillary Clinton’s server and how she handled Benghazi. Till then, get lost.

    3) In the normal course of events, the President – who is supposed to serve as president of all the people, not just the half of the country that voted for him – should command a certain respect. But this particular president has compared the members of the loyal opposition to terrorists and to the more hardcore Iranian ayatollahs. And none of you media bigfeet huffing and puffing about lèse-majesté gave a crap about that. So, if you’ll forgive me, as someone designated a terrorist and ayatollah by Obama, I’m disinclined to rise to defend the President’s amour propre. Go hector someone else.

    4) As to respect for the office, the President is so respectful of the papacy that his White House reception for Pope Francis will be filled with gay bishops, transgender activists and pro-abortion nuns. Apparently His Holiness is expected to have a thicker skin about dissenting voices than King Barack.

    5) If I understand you shrill little twerps correctly, I’m supposed to point out to this guy in New Hampshire that the President is not a Muslim but a Christian. Well, his father and step-father were both Muslims, which means, as far as Islam is concerned, he was born a Muslim. Has he renounced it? My fellow candidate Ted Cruz entered this world in Calgary, Alberta in 1970, which means that he was born a British subject and a citizen of Canada. I don’t suppose the Queen cares about that one way or the other – unlike your average Islamic scholar in Qom or Cairo. Yet you media types made such a big deal out of it that Ted was obliged to write to Ottawa to renounce even any theoretical Canadianness. Have you inquired of your buddy the President whether he’s done anything similarly clarifying?

    6) As to whether he’s a Christian, have you asked him whether he has attended even semi-regularly any church other than that of Jeremiah (“God damn America”) Wright? A man is free to attend the Westboro Baptist Church but if he chooses to do so I’m not obligated to defend his Christianity. And frankly, whatever the President’s personal faith, there is no dispute that his leadership of the western world has been an utter catastrophe for Christians around the planet. Some of the oldest Christian communities on earth have been entirely extinguished on Obama’s watch: in Mosul, Iraq, which was an American protectorate on the day he took office, not a single Christian remains. Every single one of them is dead or fled. So, instead of jumping through your preposterous hoops and speaking up for the most powerful man in the world, I would rather speak up for the powerless – for the Nigerian schoolgirls, for the Yazidi, for the Copts in Egypt, and for all the other beleaguered Christian communities in the world this feckless president has set alight and watched burn.

    7) Oh, and one other thing. This kind of super-fake-o lame-ass nothing controversy that you dowager duchesses of the press are having the vapors about is precisely why the political process has fallen into such disrepute and your own industry is bankrupt. No real person cares about this “scandal”. So, unless you’ve got a question about the economy or immigration or something real, screw off outta here

    • Minnow says:

      Wow… nice job Mr. Steyn.

      Too bad the people to whom this applies have a 3-second attention span and cannot be bothered to read the entire thing.

      And, if they could, they would get somewhere about 1/3rd of the way through and start whining and sniveling some insult cast in your direction….. like, hmmmm… “Go fucking off!” or some such.

      And, oh yeah…. fuck you Barry.

  5. Octopus ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

    1 mg Alprazolam, aka, “Little Green Footballs” on the drug forums

    Case closed. 😆

    I’ll bet it took quite a few of these happy pills to get Chunky through his divorce, and the end of his mercifully-brief (for everyone else) musical career.

    • Anat says:

      Here is another:

      From Wikipedia: Benzodiazepines are generally viewed as safe and effective for short-term use, although cognitive impairment and paradoxical effects such as aggression or behavioral disinhibition occasionally occur. A minority of people can have paradoxical reactions such as worsened agitation or panic.[6] Long-term use is controversial due to concerns about adverse psychological and physical effects, decreasing effectiveness, and physical dependence and withdrawal.

  6. Arachne says:

    Is he still claiming he gets 10,000 comments a week? Of course when your fan base is unemployed! They have lots of time to post. I think we determined that it was something like 12 people doing most of the comments? And that one of the chief posters was Fatass. So…..between grabbing others’ work for his site, spam tweeting, he doesn’t do shit all day. But SEND MONEY!


  7. windbag says:

    He gets his in suppository form, doesn’t he?

  8. Octopus ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

    This is weird…Fatass is weiner-shaming. What gives, McDumbth?

    If you present yourself as an expert on national security, maybe you shouldn’t be sending women pics of your dick. @teleskiguy @20committee
    25 minutes ago
    Not really. Just trying to point out that this guy has serious credibility issues. @teleskiguy @20committee
    27 minutes ago
    This would be much more persuasive if it were accompanied by a photo of your dick. @20committee
    31 minutes ago

    • Because olo says:

      Maybe he got the new memo that Hill’s pissed at Carlos Danger for shaming Hill’s squeeze.

      Really, I can’t imagine how embarrassing that must be.

    • Chunky's Missing Brain says:

      Because remember when he was his biggest defender? Chunk’s nothing if not a reliable turncoat and all around treacherous fucker.

  9. Because olo says:

    I don’t remember green footballs. I do remember Greenie Stickem Caps.

  10. Because olo says:

    By converting them to Christianity, you dipstick.

  11. Because olo says:

    Toot. You ain’t small. 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆

  12. swamprat says:

    Charles said (I think) the green footballs had some reference to a Japanese girl and an incident he was not at liberty to reveal.
    This is from memory and i can find no collaborating source.

  13. Because olo says:

    Gus is getting cereal.

  14. Because olo says:

    • Octopus ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

      This is me, pointing a finger and laughing at Fatass trying to rant about morality. He has no integrity, honesty or moral consistency whatsoever. The war is being taken to the world by the Islamist butchers he raved against for 8 years, before his Moronic Conversion. We are currently losing the war for Western Civilization, thanks to the Weak Unicorn Messiah he worships.

  15. swamprat says:

    The defender of Anthony Weiner’s weiner pictures is saying that John Schindler has no credibility because Schindler sent dick pics.

    John Schindler=Anthony Weiner.

  16. Octopus ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

    This guy is a freak. Check it out.

  17. kbdabear says:

    A book, eh? Should be easy for Toot and Shoq to write, just look at what you’re doing and say “those psycho haters are doing this!!!”

    Hey Barbie, maybe you should send Toot that video he sent to Shapiro when he thought he was living in their heads…

    • Arachne says:

      You’re gonna need a second GoFundMe to pay for the vanity publishing. Oh and you might want to remember there are civil tort actions for libel and plagiarism available.

      • OLT's It's Fucking BRIGHT Outside The Donkey Show says:

        They could write a book (ok, bubble a comic) about their adventures in the Twitter Gulag business.

        Such nice friends Stalker Charles has.

      • Arachne says:

        If there was a book, Shoq would do all the work and Fatty’d be there at the end with his hand out for his profits.

    • dezes157 says:

      Character assassination? Are you kidding me? Chuck, your moral compass is so screwed I would be shocked if you could even think the truth.
      Oh, and you could sue, people would love to see the truth about you proven in a court of law.

  18. Hi I'm an Asshole Spammer. Please iGNORE says:

    <>my friend’s sister-in-law makes $78 hourly on the computer . She has been fired from work for nine months but last month her paycheck was $15084 just working on the computer for a few hours.
    read the article..Find Out More

  19. Speranza says:

    I always thought that Little Green Footballs were the boogers the uncouth Fat Fuck picked from his nose.

  20. Because olo says:

  21. Because olo says:

    • Speranza says:

      A bunch of eurotrash losers who need to strip and show their shortcomings. It never occurs to them that only Israel would allow them to do that, any other Arab government would have them killed.

  22. Octopus ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

    • Because olo says:

      It’s sterno time!!!

      • Octopus ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

        Wash down a couple of green footballs with a nice tin of canned heat, and watch out, Twitter World!

      • Because olo says:

        Over the lips, and under the gums,
        Watch out innernet, here come the bums!

      • Octopus ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

        The Gimp was goose-stepping like a maniac last night…

        Stupid party. Leftists are dumb.
        14 hours ago
        Leftists are assholes.
        14 hours ago
        I think it’s great. You really are an asshole.
        14 hours ago
        I’m good with that. You really are assholes.
        14 hours ago
        14 hours ago
        Just admit that you’re an asshole atheist.
        14 hours ago
        I am an asshole. Liberal.
        14 hours ago
        Just admit that you’re an asshole. Go from there.
        14 hours ago
        God said. And you’re still an atheist asshole.
        14 hours ago
        You’re evil. Jesus told me so.
        14 hours ago

        It’s the fourth tin of canned heat that tends to get on top of him, and ruin the happy vibe. 😆

  23. Chunky's Missing Brain says:

    Ted Cruz Is Suddenly in Favor of Separation of Church and State? lgf.bz/1j1iDBB
    50 minutes ago

    Quite a slam against a man whom Alan Dershowitz once described as “Off the charts brilliant.” And coming from someone who’s only off the charts peevish and off the bathroom scale heavy-ish.

    • Because olo says:

      Dershowitz is a zionazi, which is first cousin to climate denier, so his opinions can be discarded. Because Toot is the smartest guy this side of Bill Nye.

  24. Octopus ¯\_(''-)_/¯ says:

    Nobody. Fucking. Cares!

    You’re talking to nobody about a DB that affects nobody, besides 11 losers who don’t chip in to the begging bowl. Who said you needed an upgrade? 😆

    • Because olo says:

      Heheheheheheheh. He thinks he knows what a database is.

      Go ax Ludwig about algebra, and then we can talk about this Turing-level stuff.

      😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆

  25. littlegreenxanax says:

    I told y’all long time ago. It is Xanax! LOL

  26. osprey1 says:

    Some pills make you larger, and some pills make you small, but the ones that Chucky gives you are Little Green Footballs.