The Mossad stole Asghar Bukhari’s shoe and somebody stole Mr. Toot’s Cheetos!

File this under “You cannot make this SHIT up” CATEGORY. Some obnoxious British Muslim (i.e. “Asian”) rabble rouser from the Muslim Public Affairs Committee has claimed that the nefarious Mossad broke into his home in London and stole one of his shoes.

In the pre-2009 days,  Mr. Toot would have been all over this. Watch him ignore it completely or spin it so that Bukhari is rational – after all the fat man was left all alone defending Anthony Wiener after the Left threw Carlos Danger under the bus. Now this begs the questions:

1. Why take only one of his shoes?

2. Who the fuck is Asghar Bukhari and why would anyone waste time, effort, and manpower to try to intimidate him?

3, Can I now claim the next time that I am missing a sock from the dryer that it was stolen by the P.L.O. (or ISIS, Hezbollah, al-Qaeda)?

by Daniel Greenfield

Muslim Public Affairs Committee Founder Can’t Find Shoe, Blames Mossad

Posted By Daniel Greenfield

img79382 [1]

Correction, they only stole one shoe [2].

That’s according to Asghar Bukhari, co-founder of the Muslim Public Affairs Committee (MPAC) in the UK, who when he couldn’t find his shoe, blamed the Mossad leading to the hashtag #MossadStoleMyShoe trending on Twitter.

Here’s what he posted on Facebook

“ARE ZIONISTS TRYING TO INTIMIDATE ME?” Someone came into my home yesterday while I was asleep. I don’t know how they got in, but they didn’t break in – the only thing they took was one shoe. Now think about that , the only thing they took was a single shoe – thy left ne shoe behind to let me know someone had been there.

“Of course I cant prove anything and that’s part of the intimidation. The game is simple – to make me feel vulnerable in my own home. It’s Psychological. Neither can I do much about it.

“It is not the first time I have heard this happening. I have had another Muslim leader call me a year or so ago, in tears – she told me they had been coming into her house and rearranging things – just to let her know they had been there.

“There is one good thing that comes out of all oppression however – for those who are smart – from my misfortune, others can learn how they operate. Share this widely, for if it is happening to me, I am sure it is happening to many, many others who have not exposed it.”

Now when most people can’t find a shoe, they assume that they misplaced it. But in the Muslim world, bizarre conspiracy theories over normal events are perfectly normal.

Consider Tahera Ahmad’s Diet Coke tragedy. Since the media picked that up, Asghar Bukhari expected that he would soon also become a martyr.

But the Mossad shoe oppression was too much even for lefty anti-Israel British sites like The Independent. And the resulting ridicule has buried Bukhari under a pile of shoes.

A petition has already been set up [3] demanding the return of the shoe from the Zionist oppressors.

And his missing shoe has its own Twitter account [4].

Bukhari however went on insisting on social media that the Mossad stole his shoe.
Read the rest to see the hilarious twitter comments.


112 Comments on “The Mossad stole Asghar Bukhari’s shoe and somebody stole Mr. Toot’s Cheetos!”

  1. Daedalus says:

    Charles will ignore this story. He’s too busy attacking critics of Rachel Dolezal.

    • Hercales says:

      Charles is desperate to be black. I heard the KFC in Culver City has had a mysterious, fat, pony-tailed middle aged man paying in food stamps for buckets of chicken. Expect a thunderload of toots from Mr. Toot!

  2. Because says:

    Toot’s problem isn’t missing shoes, it’s too many socks.

  3. Because olo olololololo hahahahah pfffffft snort teeheeheehee says:

    • Octopus says:

      Of course you can still be a slobbering drunkard. You don’t work. There’s, like, no limit to how wrecked you can be every day and night.

  4. Captain Death says:

    “Vlaams Belang stole my Mountain Dew”
    Mr. Toot

  5. Because olo says:

    Ed Sullivan is in cahoots with the Zionists. He’s got the shoe.

    • Captain Death says:

      Mr. Bukhari has no ‘sole’.

    • swamprat says:

      This sort of commentary is just laced with bigotry. Perhaps we should watch our tongues, before the moderator gives us the boot and sets us on our heels. I should stop before eyelet myself go too far.

      • swamprat says:

        Bought some shoes from a local druggie. Bad mistake. I don’t know what they were laced with, but I’ve been trippin’ all day.

  6. Charles Johnson's bicycle seat says: If I were Asghar Bukhari I would hold onto both of my shoes very tightly

    But if it is indeed behind the television and I were Asghar I do not think I would admit to finding the shoe. In fact my best advice to Asghar for escaping the loud ridicule to which his Facebook post has already been subjected would be to claim that his Facebook account has been hacked by Mossad in an effort to reduce his reputation as a respected pundit and make him look, instead, like a right dick.

  7. a pineapple who self identifies as a mango says:

    A couple of kids got a limb chomped off by a shark this weekend.

    Right on cue Backassword_Slut finds an article that blames Global Warming.

    “Global warming has made it difficult for sharks to continue living their peaceful existence. It has also increased the tensions among them and humans. As the temperatures of the water increase, the sharks may move into new locations where they will be more comfortable.”

    Hasn’t there always been a rouge shark here and there chomping on someone?

    Wake me when there are schools of them at the beach in shallow waters.

  8. Chunky's Missing Brain says:

    Is it against Islam to have a motion triggered security camera?

    • a pineapple who self identifies as a mango says:

      I think it’s a “lotion” triggered security camera is what they frown on.

  9. a pineapple who self identifies as a mango says:

    Combine soccer with boobies and I might watch.

  10. Arachne says:

    Charles is such a loon even the voices in his head are laughing at him.

  11. Chunky's Missing Brain says:

    Crazy Rachel has stopped down from the Spokane NAACP. Of course she spouts a bunch of crazy SJW nonsense about fighting for justice er something. Gives no explanation for being a serial liar and a fraud.

    • Because olo says:

      Still has her perfesser job to worry about.

      • Arachne says:

        Eh — she’s still attract the liberal white kids, who will find her “edgy” and approve what she did; they are one of the two groups that seem to be giving her a pass. The other group is over the hill WHITEs like Fatass and perennial cougar Cher, who are trying to re-live their hippie days when everyone wanted to be Black except Charles Manson.

    • kbdabear says:

      This is one resignation announcement that doesn’t read “resigning in order to spend more time with her family”

    • Charles Johnson's bicycle seat says:

      She should fire her hair dresser for that awful perm job.

  12. Arachne says:

    George Wallace proving he is one of the funniest guys on Twitter….

  13. Juan Epstein says:


  14. Octopus says:

    This feel-good fable has been thoroughly debunked by the experts. Chunky is so far behind the curve, once again. 😆

  15. Octopus says:

    Listen to this racist mofo! Are you going to stand back and let him spout off like that, Fatass?

  16. Octopus says:

    My copy of EW (pronounced “eugh”) came today. You know I’m not generally a homophobe, but this cover overcame my tolerance. It’s too far, dammit! 😆

    Btw, the aptly-named Cox still has the weiner, but has gotten very touchy about questions relating to said member recently. It’s not cool to be curious about it, you guys! Just forget about it. It’s none of your business.

  17. Octopus says:

    Oh, geez…it’s hilarious. Read the glurge at the website. 😆

    “Life changing,” “re-affirming,” and “empowering” are just some of the ways past participants have described their experience. Come as a leader, leave as a Climate Reality Leader.

    Too bad Chunky can’t afford the admission fee. 😦

  18. Because olo says:

  19. Because sex degrees says:

    Here we go. “Linked to”…

  20. Because olo says:

    Ya think? Putting your passwords out in the cloud isn’t a bright idea?

    Next thing out of Tootland: the gov’t shouldn’t have had their personnel files out on the internet.


  21. Because olo says:

    Meanwhile in Denvero:

  22. Pakimon says:

    Cafe Penis Penis Penis lol

    • rightymouse says:

      Lady needs a shrink. She has a possible personality disorder. Has Livefree weighed in on this yet???

    • rightymouse says:

      How is it possible that this lawsuit never showed on the radar when Rachel’s credentials/academics were checked by the NAACP or the college she works for?

    • Octopus says:

      We are through the looking-glass, aren’t we? 😆


    • windbag says:

      Waiting for the sex tape to emerge. I think after that, the cycle is complete.

      • Octopus says:

        Suggested title for Rachel’s sex tape: “Orange Is The New Black”

        The spray-on tans just never look quite right, sadly.

  23. Pakimon says:

    Good luck to abu’s Blackhawks in tonight’s Game Six Slugfest!

    Will the Blackhawks win The Cup in front of the home crowd?

    Here’s a mess o’ ice girls that hopefully will make it so. 😀

  24. Minnow says:

    The not-black black chick Rachel sure is an attention whore. Wow.

  25. Minnow says:

    dedicated to Rachel whatever her name is….. who (likely) wouldn’t appreciate this song….

  26. Octopus says:

    Great hockey game, through two. Blackhawks just scored the first goal, after a series of dangerous flurries by both teams. Can they put them away?

    • Octopus says:

      Congrats to Abu, and to Chicago — three Cups in six years, in the cap-era, is an awesome achievement. 🙂

      • Abu says:

        It was a tough day here. Lost power at 4 pm and took some water in the basement before I got home and fired up the generator. Power/cable was restored middle of the second period. Up late cleaning. We’re wiped out but enjoyed the win as much as we could.

  27. Chunky's Missing Brain says:

    Pam made a good funny on Twitter today in reference to this shoe stealing stupidity:

    Jew stole my shoe!! LOL!!!

    Poor Mr. Toot has less wit in his entire two grimy hammy hands than Pam does in her one pretty painted pinky finger.

  28. windbag says:

    Once when I went camping, I set my gloves on the picnic table as I unloaded the car. When I came back with another load, one of my gloves was missing. I always assumed it was a raccoon or squirrel. It never crossed my mind that Zionists could be behind it. I guess I was just too naive back then.

    • Because olo says:

      Nobody warned you about the Jew-nippers? They lend money to the Ents, and rob from people. They’ve been know to jack underpants, too, and sell them to the gnomes. If you go camping, and your underpants disappear, the Jew-nippers probably took them and pawned them off on the gnomes. Either that, or Gus needed a change.

  29. Octopus says:

    Teh Master Projectionist, at work on the Twitter. 😆

    • Minnow says:

      Hahahahahahahahaha Barry….. “These people”!!??!

      Who the fuck are you asswipe? Some sort of intellectual!? I can see you sniffing with disdain as you type this on your filthy keyboard with your fat grimy fingers – covered with body grease and Cheetos filth.

      Barry – sorry to tell you, but no one gives a flying fuck about you and your fantasies.

      You have proved repeatedly that you are a stupid loser. As if you would have ANY clue about who is or isn’t delusional!

      Maybe you should go look in the mirror Hoss before you start identifying ANYONE in a negative way.

      Eat it pig.

  30. Because olo says:

    Ok. Which one of you wise guys dunnit?

    • Arachne says:

      All over the web? We two places — your website and Twiitter. The former is a cesspool and well, so’s the latter, frankly. You on the other hand seem to run all over the place looking for shit on Ginger.

  31. Because olo says:

    Oh, shit.

  32. Because olo says:

    No shit. Really?

  33. Arachne says:

    How many times did he beg for money today?

  34. Minnow says:

    So Barry, Mr. Big Stuff, who is this user on Twitter that you are thumping your chest about now?

    AS if anyone really cares!?11!


  35. Octopus says:

    Isn’t that, “Look at me ster-no?”