The Dark Ages are coming!

Mr. Toot is now warning anyone who will listen that the Dark Ages are about to begin. He blames Louisiana Governor, Bobby Jindal for commencing the Dark Ages!

Dark AgesDark Ages2

Mr. Toot really has paranoia issues.


112 Comments on “The Dark Ages are coming!”

  1. Arachne says:

    Oh pipe down, you twit. I’m Roman Catholic and I have no trouble reconciling Darwin with God. The fact that your pea brain can’t grasp it has nothing to do with the rest of us.

    You know, you should consider yourself lucky that the Right is totally ignoring you – you have real potential to be turned into the OTHER Chuck Johnson in your constant attention whoring. BTW, Fruity McToot – the difference between Ginger and you? He didn’t wholesale BLOCK people who were “vicious” to him or disagreed with him. Unlike you and your abject terror at being shown up as the fraud you are.

  2. Because says:

    “Dark ages” is rasis.

  3. Because says:

    He’s seriously pimping this fraud?

    Mr. Toot. It’s donkey shit. You can squeeze a little more juice out of a battery with a DC-DC converter (and yes, a DC-DC converter is a very ordinary piece of circuitry; you can get them for a buck from China on ebay), but not 800%.

    What a frakking moron.

    • Because says:

      Particularly ironic in a thread about how creationism is going to bring on a second dark age. Mr. Toot falls for the first cousin of a perpetual motion machine. Darwin would NOT be pleased.

      😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆

    • ISpeakJive says:

      How do you get 8X current lifetime out of something that only has 4X more current available? Also, how would it keep amps constant? I don’t think it could. Then what?

      • Because says:

        I’m only guessing, but certain devices (smoke detectors come to mind) tend to cut out prematurely on low voltage, for a reason. If you have a device that will quit at the first sign of voltage droop, it can leave a pretty goodly amount of charge in the battery. Most things aren’t like that. And the more expensive devices (think iPhone) have internal rechargables, and voltage regulation, so this doesn’t apply to them. So now you’re down to smoke detectors and flashlights, and maybe toys with motors.

        LED flashlights are a problem for a different reason. The voltage requirement of an LED is fixed. As the battery voltage drops, the current drops a lot, and they get dim. Again, the good ones have a DC-DC converter built in. The cheap ones don’t.

        So this might turn a cheap LED flashlight into a slightly better cheap LED flashlight. Better to get a good one to begin with. And this is NOT a good idea in a smoke detector, because it’ll go dead with little or no warning.

        But 800% sounds like they either made it up, or cherry-picked some extreme situation. In general, it’s donkey dung.

      • Because olo says:

        After reading that article, I think the scam is 800% of charge, not energy. The basic physics problem is that to keep the output voltage constant while the battery voltage drops, the battery current has to go up. If the device is putting out 100 ma at 1.5 volts, and the battery is putting out 1 volt, it has to draw at least 150 ma from the battery. So in order to keep outputting a constant current at a constant voltage, it needs to keep sucking higher and higher currents as the battery voltage drops.

        This is not even taking into account conversion losses which are typically 10-20%.

        So what happens is that instead of following a discharge curve that gives you some warning, it keeps sucking harder and harder until it suddenly quits. In a device with a battery indicator, it will show 100% charge until suddenly it’s as dead as Ted Kennedy. You’ll harvest a little more energy, but not anywhere near 800%, even if there are 800% of coulombs left.

        Then, boom. Dead. No warning.

      • kbdabear says:

        I wonder if Professor Toot the #SCIENCE! Wizard would have a vapor lock in the brain reading your first paragraph. It has actual real sciency terms, not political hackery pretending to be science

    • Arachne says:

      “The preceeding has been a paid program for this year’s ridiculous device. The contents of this program are not endorsed by the owners of Diary of Daedalus or indeed anyone with two working synapses.”

      BTW Michael – I notice the verbiage is almost WORD for WORD as stated in PC World. Since I won’t go to your brother’s malware infested cesspool, I can only hope you accredited that phrasing to the source. I sincerely hope that before publishing, you read the tech blogs – they are without exception laughing with derision at these ridiculous claims, and that you have a critical eye.

      We won’t go there to read it because we’d, you know, need a shower afterwards for ourselves and My Clean PC for our hard drives.

      • Because olo says:

        OMG. It’s stupider than I thought.

        “Next he slipped the batteries inside two Batteriser sleeves. He ran the metering test again. The same ostensibly dead batteries read 1.5 volts. He then slipped the batteries—now ensconced in Batteriser jackets—into the keyboard. Voila: The Mac reported the battery level at 100 percent.”

        No shit, Sherlock? How do you suppose the Mac determines percent charge in the first place? Voltage, perhaps?

        This just shows what technoidiots these technojournalists are, and why the comments sections are so frequently laughing their asses off at them.

  4. Octopus says:

    Speaking of apocalyptic visions, the following is a representation of Chunky’s impressions of a magnitude 3.1 erfquake in Culver City:

    • ISpeakJive says:

      Hey Chunky, there’s a whole swath of Muslims IN THIS COUNTRY that think people get killed in floods because Allah is displeased with them. This movie is probably pretty popular with them.

      Sounds pretty dark ages to me. Why don’t you battle that mindset???

    • Because olo says:


  5. Octopus says:

    Her company, which sells baby stuff, was just valued at $1 Billion. She celebrates by posing for Shape magazine this month. I have to tell you…she’s doing better than Chunky, on at least two fronts. 🙂

  6. Octopus says:

    Get out here, you shy little thing!

  7. Chunky's Missing Brain says:

    Mr. Toot’s a pervo and wants to follow our daughters, sisters and mothers into public bathrooms and showers because he SAYS he feels girly. He’s an amoral slug.

  8. Because olo says:

    Doesn’t this contradict the Citizens United narrative?

  9. If anyone is ushering in return to the Dark Ages, it is Charles and his band of progturds:

    ” … in the United States at least, “liberals” have become advocates of the power of government, while “conservatives,” although still advocating the traditional police power of government in morals, retain some sense of the limits of government established in theory by the United States Constitution. This historical development is just the opposite of the continued meaning of “liberal,” and the continued implication of “convervative,” in Europe. Thus, the disarmament of the citizenry, compulsory schooling, etc. are practices intimately associated with the Prussian and then Imperial German governments. Few would think of those regimes as “liberal.” For the charts here, I have retained the problematic questions in order to honestly portray the shifting sympathies of “liberal” American politics as in fact a shift towards authoritarianism and a Prussian paradigm for government.”

    The rest here, it a great essay, among others by this retired professor of philosophy.

    • Chunky's Missing Brain says:

      They want top down control through government in order to institute a more or less Communist system. They know you have to literally control what people say first and then institute doublethink that pretends less rights is better, leftist “science” is actual science, confiscation of property is patriotism, capitalism and free markets are evil, individual success is only through government, etc. And then restrict movement (which will come later) so people can’t move away from the terrible results of their awful government oppression and inevitable corruption as has happened in blue state big cities.

  10. Chunky's Missing Brain says:

    SJWs have a double standard. To appease LGBTXYZ delicate special snowflake’s claims of special sexy feelings I’m supposed to let other men go into the restroom/locker rooms with my daughters and wife. But to compromise with Christian’s sensibilities the fricking Dark Ages have arrived because an alternate theory of genesis will be discussed along side the theory of Evolution in certain places. Mr. Toot is one of the worst of these SJW perverted freaks, constantly hiding behind strawmen arguments of supposed intolerance, abuse and denial of science. He can barely make a single truthful statement he’s so up to his ass in libtard bullshit.

    BTW there’s this LOL!

    Cormier said that she was not aware that Planet Fitness had a policy that allows members to use the locker room that matches their gender identity. So when she walked into the Planet Fitness facility on a weekend last month, she said she was frightened when she saw what she believed was a man standing there.

    They threw her out because she judged some dude with a dick in the women’s locker room to be a man. Imagine that! How judgy and normo! This must be the Dark Ages!

  11. More educational reading for you, Charles:

    “The victors have dropped their conciliatory stance. Bubonic plague-level hysteria surged through the media, academia and mega-corporate America in March after Indiana passed a law — modeled on the federal Religious Freedom Restoration Act of 1993 — that would enable religious believers to opt out of universally applicable laws under some circumstances…

    …the phrase “persecution of Christians” might be more apt. It would be nice if states passed religious freedom laws that both protected gays and lesbians from discrimination in day-to-day transactions and accommodated people whose beliefs recognize traditional man-woman marriage — as Utah did last month. But in today’s mood of vengeful triumphalism among the progressive elites who rule public opinion, don’t count on many compromises.

    Charlotte Allen, “Modern Sin: Holding On to Your Belief,” The Wall Street Journal, May 1, 2015, A11, boldface added

  12. Chunky's Missing Brain says:

    Creationism Climate Craptrap is not a morality-neutral “point of view.” It’s a fanatical, reactionary embarrassment for the US, in the 21st century.
    14 hours ago

    There, fixed that for ya Mr. Toot.

  13. Chunky's Missing Brain says:

    Why Billionaires May Not Be Able to Buy the 2016 Election
    3 hours ago

    I thought dead people, illegals, criminals and crooked poll workers bought the last two elections.

  14. Chunky's Missing Brain says:

    Podcast of the Morning: The Bob & Chez Show, 6/2/15
    12 minutes ago

    Because maybe they’ll ask me back someday.

    • Because olo says:

      Very original content. Much exclusive. Only at Little Green Toots.

    • Arachne says:

      I wouldn’t wait by the phone, Chunky. Whatever other shortcomings they may have, they know you’re a waste of airtime as a guest. Why weren’t you on to share your incredible journalistic prowess in the Great Austin Empty Shelves Photo Hoax Caper. Because only you and your unlearned dumbasses cared.

      And then to double down with that other photo thing — the laughter had barely stopped from the first one.

  15. Chunky's Missing Brain says:

    Here’s Mr. Toot heading to a women’s locker room near you.

    • Arachne says:

      Add another 100 lbs. to the man in the photo. Otherwise Fruity McToot will claim you are being deceitful.

  16. trebob says:

    Who would have thought that providing more than one view/theory on where all this stuff and all these folks came from would totally and completely turn back the clock 700 years?

    Well, no one who had half a brain and wasn’t into hyperbolic dogma.

    This whole idea is absurd, but understandable considering how the left, and especially Charles et al over at LFG, feel when any sort of differing viewpoint is proffered. Anything or anyone that disagrees with the established doctrine is vilified, punished and silenced because liberals have determined that disagreement is the same as attacking them. This is where Charles’ block technique comes in. It keeps him in a “safe place” where he doesn’t have to debate or discuss.

    Robert Tracinski over at The Federalist posted a nice little piece on this a month or so ago:

    It seems to me any school that (quoting assistant principal Doug Scott in a letter to biology teacher)[emphasis mine] “[…] discussed evolution and creationism in a full spectrum of thought” should be congratulated for inspiring thought, discussion and debate on various theories as part of the education process. The principal of Bossier High School, when told by a parent that one of the teachers was teaching creationism as fact, even responded “I can assure you this will not happen again.”, so we are not looking at a madrassah style of teaching theory rather one of inclusion and debate.

    Differing views are how we learn and grow. In the Soviet Union and other socialist regimes, discussion is tamped down and only the regime’s doctrine can be stated. Differing opinions were met with punishment, making for an enormous echo chamber (which Charles would dearly love).

    Sadly (except for us) Charles is stuck in his little echo chamber world he’s locked off for himself. He has blocked any and everyone who doesn’t agree with him, unless he thinks he can garner some clicks from arguing with them on twitter, and he feels all safe and warm in his self-made cocoon “free from the trolls and haters”. As he is only just now starting to figure out, that little cocoon gets smaller and smaller as time passes until it’s only one person left talking to himself. Reading an echo chamber is boring and while it gratifies initially, because everyone agrees with you, it doesn’t make for long term entertainment.

    • Because olo says:

      “It keeps him in a “safe place” where he doesn’t have to debate or discuss.”

      Such a fragile snowflake. The innernet needs trigger warnings. Maybe Toot should file a Title IX complaint against Jindal. Moooooom! Make him stop!

    • Chunky's Missing Brain says:

      Mr. Toot only wants to debate with other SJWs how to make this illegal.

  17. Arachne says:

    Oh dear…..

    And this is CNN – so you KNOW the results were even worse than they’re reporting because they LIVE to spin everything to the Obama Unicorn Universe.

  18. Because olo says:

    Apple fanboy Toot whoring for his corporate squeeze…

    • Because olo says:

      And for the record, isn’t Toot all for the govt snooping at will? This tweet sounds like something from Greensnow. I thought govt surveillance was a nontroversy.

    • Pakimon says:

      Pakimon blames a Charles “Mr. Toot” Johnson for ‘gobbling up’ Cheetos like a hog at a slop trough.

    • Because says:

      After they gobble the data up, then what? They gotta shit sometime, don’t they? Does the EPA know about this?

    • Chunky's Missing Brain says:

      Did they eated the Warmening too?

  19. pineapple laughs at fatso says:

    251 Charles Johnson
    Jun 3, 2015 7:19:33am

    “Chuck’s blog has basically turned into a graveyard.”

    Yea Fatso…… like your GoFundMe account?

  20. Chunky's Missing Brain says:

    It’s all about strategy. And in her case, the magazine cover, which will be on newsstands for a month, serves as a walk-up to promote Caitlyn’s reality show, “I Am Cait,” premiering July 26 on — where else? — the E! network. If roughly 20 million watched the Sawyer interview on ABC, you can imagine the numbers E! is dreaming of for premiere night.

    • Arachne says:

      20 million may have initially tuned into the Sawyer interview. If they were anything like me, they turned it off after 10 minutes.

  21. Yeah, like, I know everybody is predicting that Jenner’s show is going to be a huge success and make kerjillions of dollars, but I don’t really see how any initial appeal can be sustained, once the novelty wears off. I mean, who wants to watch a freak pontificating on how awesome it is to be emasculated week after week.

    • Chunky's Missing Brain says:

      It’s going to be huge. Even my own daughters watch that Kardashian train wreck garbage as an admitted guilty pleasure. His being a TransJenner now is just going to add to the original freak show plus new freakyness.

      • Arachne says:

        It’ll probably be like Anna Nicole Smith’s trainwreck of a show. Initially, watching her was somewhat fun and the ratings were good. Then after a couple weeks, you realize you are watching an uninteresting human being’s life and that there are better things on during the time period – like, oh, I don’t know, weather reports, and you tune out.

      • Because says:

        The Banquet Chicken of entertainment.

      • OLT's It's Fucking BRIGHT Outside The Donkey Show says:

        HEY! The pot pies are better than nothing, although when I’m buying frozen ones (ie, not the expired and thawed ones Gus-Gus fishes out of the dumpster) I go for the Swanson’s turkey.

      • Because says:

        “Pot pie” means something else in Denver.

      • OLT's It's Fucking BRIGHT Outside The Donkey Show says:

        /smoke whirls
        Dude, whut?
        /smoke resumes

  22. Chunky's Missing Brain says:

    Why is there no outrage about this from the SJWs?

    Why isn’t it offensive to Muslims considering Clooney’s wife Amal is Muslim and presumably women should be covered?

    And why isn’t it considered sexual harrassment like it would be if Clooney pulled his dick out at Handler?

    And lastly why isn’t it considered boorish and rude to show your tits to a man in front of his wife as if you’re inviting him to be or want to be unfaithful to her?

    Yet she’s on the SJW band wagon with full approval and nothing will be said.

  23. Because says:

    • Arachne says:

      And THAT, Fatass, is how you get RETWEETS.

      • OLT's It's Fucking BRIGHT Outside The Donkey Show says:

        Poor Stalker Charles has never been witty or insightful, or humorous.

        Those were his (ex)posters.

      • Arachne says:

        Iowahawk was prominent back in the day as I recall. Even got his web posts front-page status when there were no personal promotes to the front page.

      • Because ICYMI says:

        I can remember more than one front page article from Pam. I think he obliterated them fairly early on. The Iowahawk ones may still be in some strawberry archive.

    • Because olo says:

    • Because olo says:

      • Chunky's Missing Brain says:

        Marie Harf’s co-workers noticed their female boss, Jen Psaki leaving early every day. After awhile they all noticed the pattern and started leaving early, as well. Marie went home early one day and when she got to her bedroom door which was slightly ajar she saw her husband in bed having sex with Jen Psaki.

        The next day when everyone was getting ready to leave Marie was still at her desk. When they asked her why she wasn’t leaving early she said “No way. I almost got caught!”

  24. Chunky's Missing Brain says:

    A cartoon for Mr. Toot who thinks the Hillbag is super popular.

  25. Chunky's Missing Brain says:

    Ginger on Gavin McInnis’ podcast I think before he was kicked off Twitter. After a few jokes they start out talking about the Pam Geller cartoon contest:

    A good listen so far.

    • Arachne says:

      Not bad. Yes, it was definitely before he was kicked off. Had it been post ejection, there would, I think have been more asskicking of Fruity McToot.

  26. Because ICYMI says:

  27. Arachne says:

    Um…..wasn’t this a dumbass story LAST week?
    And by dumbass, I mean Fatty broadcasting it yet again.
    Someone needs to clue him in that we are not Low Information Voters who forget shit after two days. We have excellent memories (much to your chagrin, I’m sure, Fatty).

    However, Ginger – if you DID impersonate someone to get information that they would not have shared with you otherwise – not right. At all.

    • livefreeor die says:

      I think it got four out of five yawns.
      That woman seems either delusional or anti-social. I have NEVER seen a rape victim have pleasant, flirty, humorous interactions with the alleged rapist after the alleged rape. However, she became a cause celebre after starting to lug her mattress around-State of the Union invitation, bestest friends with a senator, an art exhibition at a tony NYC gallery. Why would a woman change her story after that?

    • Chunky's Missing Brain says:

      Actually the reference of the Dark Turn as I recall was due to Ginger’s outing of the Mattress Mutt’s SJW friend who anonymously fingered Nungress as having ALSO assaulted her. But the assault she describes has her shoving him off and leaving. IOW she said no and he let her up and let her leave. Sounds like a drunken jerky move and they were at some sort of party. He got her accusation overturned as well. What Ginger’s trying to get at is Nungress was targeted not just by some college women but by vicious activists trying to turn him into something he isn’t. Presumably because they can’t find any real campus rapists to abuse them.

      Reminds me of this hilarious Mad TV bit. The SJW’s would not find this amusing.

  28. Chunky's Missing Brain says:

    I remember reading about this guy awhile back. Apparently gender reassignment is no bed of roses and can end in suicide. Who knew?

  29. pineapple laughs at fatso says:

    Come on Lincoln, polite applause? You should have said…….


    That always motivates a crowd of libtards.

    • livefreeor die says:

      Lincoln Chafee is one of the dumbest individuals to ever serve as a Senator.
      John Kerry looks like Einstein next to him.

      • Because says:

        I dunno. The competition for dumb senator is mighty fierce. You got Joe Biden, Barbra Boxer, Patty Murray, probably another dozen representatives of the left side of the bell curve I can’t even remember.

    • pineapple laughs at fatso says:

      Don’t forget the unelectable Bernie Sanders.

    • Because says:

  30. Because says:

    The twits are awfully quiet. Something’s up.

  31. JimboXL says:

    Muslims in body armor with AKs trying to kill Americans over a cartoon is not the dark ages, a harmless Republican talking about God is the dark ages FOLKS. Why would anyone donate?

  32. Because olo olololololo hahahahah pfffffft snort teeheeheehee says:

    • Minnow says:

      So says one who would know a thing or two about crummy blogs.

      Barrrrrrrrry…… Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

      • Because says:

        Toot should give Ginger some pointers on how to make a dead blog look lifelike with socks. Socks… they’re not just for feet anymore.

  33. pineapple laughs at fatso says:

    The pretend doctor, Dr Matt who is clearly piece of shit blames Pam for someone wanting to cut her head off. No doubt Matt is saddened that the terrorist’s plan was thwarted.

    This is representative of the assholes over there now. Worthless scumbags, all of them.

  34. Because says:

  35. rightymouse says:

    Rather like your begging bowl, lolwut?

    • rightymouse says:

      Crap. Wrong tweet. Oh, well….

      • Pakimon says:

        No worries.

        Chunky’s still stuck at $2603

        I’m amazed he hasn’t “donated” to himself again in an attempt to ease the massive stinging butthurt, 😆

  36. Pakimon says:

    Good luck to abu’s Blackhawks in the game one Stanley Cup Final fixin’ to kick off… or drop puck… or whatever.

    Here… Have some ice girls for positive juju! 😆

    • Pakimon says:

      I was tempted to post the infamous and classic Chicago Blackhawk ice girl goal cam butt shot video but I’m saving that for emergencies. 😀

      • Abu's Two Minutes for Roughing (heard that before) says:

        Hawks down 1 – 0 after one period. If that ain’t an emergency,…
        *deep breaths*
        I just want a split of the two games in Tampa. Although, two wins would work for me as well.

  37. Chunky's Missing Brain says:

    And can I get a halleluja for LeBron and my Cavs who start the finals series tomorrow night.

    Golden State BOOO. They can’t win because they have ugly cheerleaders.

    Go Cavs!

    • Arachne says:

      Ha! I’d be upset about you dissin’ the Warriors …. If I gave a crap about Bay Area Basketball!

  38. Chunky's Missing Brain says:

    Has Mr. Toot made the transition to full on Muzzy?

  39. Chunky's Missing Brain says:

    SJWs in action. This time proving racism.

  40. Chunky's Missing Brain says:

    Working for the handicapped.

  41. Chunky's Missing Brain says:

    Mr. Toot and Gus as SJW Super Heroes:

  42. Because that wily white Hispanic... says:

  43. Chunky's Missing Brain says:

    Gays, trannies and asian/latin? stereotypes. SJW heaven!! It gets crazy when Miss Swan sings Dancing Queen with the Village People.