While taking a short slog through The Swamp recently, I was amazed at how utterly inane it’s become. Commenters can’t stay on topic, regurgitate Media Matters propaganda while Charles posts little more than his own TwitterFails. Then I found something interesting, and it may have originated with this Tweet:

BRCX7 Guilty Tweet

Nothing particularly newsworthy there [Daedalus covered it already] but a few days later Charles The Stalker™ took note of something most people would ignore, only because it’s important to Charles.

Stalker Suspended

I agree with “thedopefishlives” but for a different reason. Twitter refuses to address repeat offenders who abuse the “Block and Report” function, as is well known to the denizens of #TwitterGulag who are targeted repeatedly for specious reasons (like Mr./Ms. @BRCX7).

But that’s not what this post is about. The subsequent conversation on Little Green Footballs is.


LMAO. He’s locking them all in a closet with the hopes of getting new subscribers who want to see what the imbeciles say in private, as if their public dribble isn’t enough. Great idea, Charles! What could possibly go wrong?


Congrats, Charles! Your blog is even more isolated that it ever was. Your next move should be a Little Green Pay Wall, so you and your junior high girls can privately giggle and brasnap each other to your heart’s content. Let the infighting begin!

169 Comments on “The Return Of The SEKRIT THREAD”

  1. trebob says:

    “…registered users need to meet a certain criteria…”

    LOL! How about just being brain dead morons? Nearly all of them seem to fit that category. Now the echo chamber can be further reinforced and hardened against those evil stalkers (who read the public comments). Can’t have any kind of dissenting opinions can we, not even a little and can’t have those outside of the collective reading the sooper sekrit stuffs?

    You’re right, Charles should just go full monty (a disgusting thought I know) and make it PAID registration only. That will get rid of all the ugly trash and only keep the anointed few in the lizard echo chamber to agree with each other.

    Should be a good old time.

    • doppel milyo says:

      the criteria

      1. unemployed
      2. far left moonbat ( at least until Charles parts ways with the left. then whatever Charles is)
      3. groupthinker and lover of all things Charles

      attention dozen dummies. there are deep, I mean DEEP cover socks that will meet your criteria.
      of course that is on the off chance Charles actually gets the shit to work

      aint no thing as a secret thread kids

  2. sven10077 says:

    The magic treehouse…

    has chunk found another wanna-be pron queen to run it?

  3. Octopus says:

    …And, like everything else, it doesn’t work!

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH…oh, Chunky. You lack the dignity of Comic Book Guy. 😦 😆

    • Chunky's Missing Brain says:


      I’m coding it now.
      It’s all set!!
      Um still coding it now.

      • doppel milyo says:

        LGF is like

      • Because olo says:

        if (lizard.tool.correlator == stalker) ban();
        if (lizard.tool.correlator == muzz) kissbutt(clitless);
        if (lizard.tool.correlator == gus) bumf();
        void button(void);

      • Because olo says:

        askimet stoled the code

      • Bunk X says:

        Quatloos to doughnuts The Sage of Culver City worked on it all weekend or more, waiting for the right moment to announce “I just had an idea” and produce it in less time it takes to defrost salmon.

        Charles hasn’t had an original idea since George Duke’s drummer stopped the jam and laughed at Barry.

  4. doppel milyo says:

    I don’t know about you, but I really do not want to see the privates of Charles, lidane or curious lurker, or any of them for that matter!

  5. ISpeakJive says:

    Getting into LGF is more exclusive than an Ivy League college.

    First, declare your party, Democrat of course.
    Write a 500 word essay on why you’d really, really, like to be a part of the lizard cognoscenti. Put a $79.95 deposit on your AmEx with the understanding that we deduct $1 for every down-ding.

    That should work! 🙂

    • doppel milyo says:

      actually if you can afford the $79.95, you qualify for DoD not LGF

      • Bunk X says:

        “Take advantage of our yearly subscription, and save 50% off the normal subscription price! One-year ad-free subscriptions are just $59.95. Turn off all ads for a full year by subscribing now and save!”

        Lol. When was the LGF Adblocker ever at $199.90 per year?

  6. Minnow says:

    Barry, you are such a clueless lamo.


    “Private Messages” with the Comic Book Guy…. “a dangerous combination”.

  7. Chunky's Missing Brain says:

    The button’s not shiny enough.

  8. swamprat says:

    He has falsely reported people for “spam” while while he sent out “now playing” tweets and tweeted ads for his Amazon account.
    He has abused the block and report function to such a degree that Twitter has gotten some bad press
    Twitter has had to change their criteria for blocking due to these sorts of abuses and possibly as a direct result of the actions of charles and friends.

    Now he wants to hide comments on his blog.
    But he certainly will ballyhoo any untoward comments he finds on rightwing sites while declaring the those comments are not being planted by leftwing activists. This is most interesting as he has asked people to go to amazon and post bad reviews of Gellars book on Amazon.

  9. Chunky's Missing Brain says:

    In Which the Governor of Texas Tweets a Link to the Stupidest Man on the Internet
    2 hours ago

    And no governers are Tweeting links to LGF. Shoot yourself in the foot much Chunky?

  10. pineapple says:

    Private message feature?

    Yet another “feature” that won’t be used like the spinning text feature.

  11. Because olo says:

    So. When can we go strawberry picking?

    • Bunk X says:

      I say give it a while and let the novelty wear off. Wait until Charles has worn himself out looking for intruders and stalking us for evidence.

      On the other hand, we could publish a harvest schedule based upon fat boy’s sleep habits and suggest that strawberries should be picked between 2:00AM and 4:30AM PST daily so he has to take afternoon naps to keep on top of it. Then when his nap schedule is confirmed, we’ll go in then as well.

  12. Arachne says:

    And if I can step away from my role as Snark Bitch for a second …
    Charles harbors a rather sad delusion that he is somehow still the BMOC in the blogging world. Note for instance that one of the “inner circle” thinks use of the “Sooper Sekrit” threads will bump up registration (is registering all that difficult anymore).

    It is striking to me that you have a roomful of adults on a board that are all excited about a club with a secret thread. This is not normal behavior, and it is certainly not adult behavior, especially one that turned 62 two days ago. But I don’t think Johnson has a strong relationship with what we generally call “reality.” He is three (five if you want to receive the maximum) years from drawing on Social Security. His blog is stale, his readers and participants are largely a collection of life’s losers who aren’t going to hit his tip jar. If he’s waiting for some type of sponsorship stipend from the left, he’s got a long wait. He’s ceased to be a “Player.”

    All you need do is look at his retweets and favorites from his Twitter feed. Not many. I average two or three retweets every time and I have a little over 700 followers. (I’d probably have more if I didn’t go several weeks without tweeting.) And the retweets he gets are from people with small follower counts. He’s not a thinker, an analyst or anything else. He throws random scraps to the twitterverse and is largely ignored. He blocks rather than engage, because he does not want anyone to realize how woefully uneducated and unable to argue he really is. “I crush debate” – no; you RUN from debate. As fast as those fat legs of your can carry you.

    And really, Charles, please remember that the smartest people on your blog up until 2009 have LEFT your blog. Do you honestly think our socks aren’t buried deep inside your blog, throwing out an occasional “lefities rule, righties drool” comment on your threads – just enough to keep our hands in and laughing as we leave, not making a sound elsewhere?

    So have you sooper sekrit thread – one of our socks will report it in an email, get screen shots – maybe even leave a disparaging comment about the right – and bring it here for us to use. Although, frankly, no one really cares – it’s a collection of whiney adults who are pissed as hell that they aren’t important anymore – because they haven’t got shit else going on in their lives. And we are loving every minute of it.

    As you would say – Bye Now!!

    • Chunky's Missing Brain says:

      I didn’t catch that right away. It used to be a difficult blog to register on because he only opened the window to registration once every couple weeks or so. And only for like an hour or two. Now they’re actively trying to find ways to get people to register. And I’m sure Chunk was livid that that guy admitted it in “public” comments. I guess now he can chastize him in private to ixnay on the olay egistration ray.

    • Pakimon says:

      Ah yes.

      Back when registration was open only when Jupiter was aligned with Pluto or some such nonsense.

      Now registration is open 24/7 and nobody bothers.

      This whole “sekret thread” routine is just a pathetic attempt by Chunky to relive his “glory days”.

      The best part is that he ever gets it working, the BRC will post a thread 3 or 4 months down the road with a cornucopia of “sekret thread” imbecility for all to see and we’ll be laughing our asses off as Chunkles and his handful of nitwits go into complete meltdown over it. 😆

    • Bunk X says:

      Good points all. Almost worth writing up another installment of “The Ruse & Fail” series. =D

    • Daedalus says:

      You pretty much summed up all the threads we have done here since 2010. Charles and his LGF minions are mentally not well.

  13. pineapple says:


    So Blubberman won’t be able to see Ginger’s tweets and all those who have blocked him at all now? What will LGF do without any content?

    • Arachne says:

      I imagine that Dr. Doublewide has been blocked by a boatload of users. After my experience with the 1-tweet wonder that was being followed by Fatass, whose SOLE tweet was to my feed, in hopes of getting the reply trap sprung, I blocked his ass so that he couldn’t even ACCIDENTALLY get something from my comments. His big thing is control the conversation and try to get people suspended.

  14. Arachne says:

    In other news, I got my yearly bonus (very handsome) and treated myself to an iPad Mini 3. Maybe Rachel Madcow will send Chuckie one as a belated birthday gift; although, I’m thinking that now that the powers that be at MSNBC are going to change their business model (to one that has at least SOME chance of turning a profit), my guess is those dumbass morons currently in the lineup are going to be looking for jobs. Which may account for the fact that they all appear to be wearing the cranky pants a little tighter than usual lately.

    • Minnow says:

      Waaaaahhhhh – the gubmint got MY yearly bonus (and then some!)

      Don’t worry Barry. Don’t worry Gus. I gotchyer back dudebros. You’ll be good for another year of handouts!!

    • rightymouse says:

      Congrats! When I got my bonus, I giggled over all the things I was going to treat myself to & within a few days I had a problem with my Jeep that turned into several problems. Bye-bye to the bonus. **sigh**

    • Chunky's missing brain says:

      Congrats on the bonus! Hard work rewarded. What a concept.

    • Pakimon says:

      An iPad Mini 3?

      Oh no! The Apple Cult claims another unwary victim! 😀

    • Daedalus says:

      Bonuses, I forgot what that was!

      • Arachne says:

        Psst….just saw the new matters email.
        We’re your employers’ lawyers now, Daedalus.
        I think this means we’re now related.

  15. rightymouse says:

    Not in China, you moron.

    • rightymouse says:

      How ’bout them labor camps in North Korea TODAY! What a hoot, eh? Asshole.

    • poteen2 says:

      And filled with them too, Gus. For a while anyway. Don’t forget that part.
      Or the “Hispanic Inquisition” or Aztec wholesale appeasement of their Deities, with knives.
      Lots of genocidy stuff to go round.

      • Daedalus says:

        Everyone has done fucked up shit. The Spanish inquisition pails in comparison to the Arab Jihad of the 7th century or the Ottoman conquest of the Balkans.

      • Octopus says:

        Pails, indeed. The Arabs spilled buckets of blood.

      • Because olo olololo hohoh hahahah horkle chortle snort says:

        ^^^ Rodanglish ^^^

      • Bunk X says:

        “Everyone has done fucked up shit.”

        I haven’t.
        Oh wait..

      • Arachne says:

        Can someone tell me if there is something going on regarding the recognition of the Armenian genocide? Buses in San Francisco are carrying posters on the side (I don’t feel well calling them “advertising”) regarding “Remembering Genocide”.

      • Because says:

        100 year anniversary. And Pope Francis just poked Turkey in the eyes over it.

    • pineapple says:

      God white people suck, I want to become a libtard so I can actually hate myself.

      Self loathing would be the least I could do to make things right, that, and perhaps dab some ashes on my forehead everyday.

    • Bunk X says:

      How about the white asians who resided in and around the Kremlin?

      • poteen2 says:

        Freed from under the capitalist boot by Uncle Joe in the 1930s
        Found their way to good jobs mining in Siberia.

      • Bunk X says:

        YES. And just like capitalism, they had to fend for themselves, even if it meant stealing potatos from the government stockpiles to keep from starving.

    • kbdabear says:

      White Europeans liberated them. What’s his fucking point?

  16. swamprat says:

    Boy! Secret Thread! I wonder what they are saying that has to be so secret?
    Uh, no I don’t. I have seen the comments in general and I can not believe there are any comments that warrant digging.

    Samples of lgf assertions:

    Rethuglicans are bad.
    Gunz is the devil.
    Cops are evil.
    Christians are so oppressive.
    Israel is bad
    The right is anti-Semitic
    Russian ideologies good, Russia being against Obama, bad
    Global Warming is here
    Republicans hate women and gays
    Muslims are never mentioned in relation to women and gays
    Lincoln was a Democrat and/or evil&Republican
    Obama is an Economy Savant and that is why America is doing so well

    LGF is the Lefty blog for the reality-impaired

    • Minnow says:

      They are saying the same special shit as usual as you point out…. it is just that they feel just a little more special because they are in this special club.

      I wonder if it works yet.

      HAhahahahahahahahahhaahahahaha Barry you idiot.

  17. Octopus says:

    And still, broke as a joke. Nothing works. Nothing. 😦

    • Arachne says:

      See above re retweets. Only 1 Doublewide’s schtick is becoming old to all.
      Notice he includes RS’s twitter handle. What he really, really wants is McCain’s Twitter followers to come bug him so he can find someone to whine about. I have a feeling he’s been blocked by so many people that he has no one to write about anymore.

  18. Octopus says:

  19. swamprat says:

    Maybe the Sekrit Thread will be about who they get to drive off now that Dark Falcon hasn’t posted in two days.
    Double Secret Probation? BlogPout? TimeOut? Banned?

    • Octopus says:

      I hope his Inner Mountain Lion didn’t escape! 😯

    • pineapple's private message says:

      Yea, he’s going to need a big helping of abuse soon I would think.

      • swamprat says:

        He probably has had enough abuse to last quite a while.

      • Octopus says:

        What he really needs is Antabuse.

      • Minnow says:

        Hey wait a minute…. don’t you all know?? pineapple-especially is right! “abuse” is a new sort of mauve blush color from NYC’s ghey community tha is really poplular in the gaming community as a paint color for the figurines and dollies.

        Kurt will need a very large helping of abuse soon…. and some of Mom’s choco-chip-hip cookies….. and let the doll painting commence!!

    • Bunk X says:

      Dork is one of the targets for Charles’ “new feature” but he doesn’t know it yet. Neither does PPL.

  20. Bunk X says:

    FWIW, Schmalfeldt was/is another Lizard In Good Standing.

  21. Bunk X says:


    How many Jews have you thrown under the bus, Charles…

    • Bunk X says:

      List ’em, Charles. List all the LGF contributors who happened to be Jewish that you banned from your Little Green Nazi Blog. Start with the letter A. (Alouette, aka Viscous Bouche, doesn’t count – she’s a kapo.)

      • Arachne says:

        Since when is following someone on Twitter an endorsement of them? There are plenty of people who follow twitter accounts of despicable people to keep an eye on the bullshit they’re spreading. Check your own follower list, Fatass – there are a lot of conservatives on it. Doesn’t mean they agree with you.

      • Chunky's Missing Brain says:

        He cut the link to Yid With Lid for no reason whatsoever. Antisemitism. Very ugly.

  22. A quibble with the headline; he’s not talking about secret threads. Rather, he wants to embed secret messages within the comments.

    He’s already hidden millions of old comments from unregistered visitors, so what’s a few more?

    But really, I’m not exactly sure what he’s hoping to accomplish with this. Catching socks? Anything he has that’s worth saying he posts on twitter anyway.

    • Bunk X says:

      It’s a secret thread overlayed/embedded onto/into the public threads. Seems to me to be the same difference. Still, it doesn’t really matter. We’ll see them soon enough, and they won’t be worth the time or trouble to post them here.

      We could have some fun with this. Every secret post that appears here will result in some innocent and unsuspecting lizard with low posting frequency being canned. We could actually reduce the number of registered accounts.

  23. thelogicalpositivist says:

    He offered a lame idea, fished for affirmation and was met by 100% approval by his toadies. No one disagreed. Now why oh why is that?

    • Bunk X says:

      Charles: “I created a piece of crap for the blog.”
      Lizards: “Thank you Charles.”

      • Octopus says:

        Charles: “I created a piece of crap for the blog.”
        Lizards: “Thank you Charles.”

        sounds of slurpy gobbling

  24. Octopus says:

    Ladies and Germs, I give you: The King Of Projection!

  25. Octopus says:

    “My kingdom for an expired and thawed-out Banquet Chicken Pot Pie!”

    Poor Gus is feeling the pinch of hoboconomics. 😦

    • Chunky's Missing Brain says:

      So we could get a two-fer. First female AND gay Preezydunce. She should just come out and use that to her advantage. Explains why she was such a doormat for Bubba.

    • inspector fromage says:

      well first female at least

      reggie love would argue that Obama has the other demographic you mentioned, covered

  26. Chunky's Missing Brain says:

    Just making shit up. Great candidate. But Chunky will back her because the GOP are the Great Satan or something.

    Hillary Clinton’s statements that all her grandparents immigrated to the U.S. are in conflict with public records, a report says.

    According to Buzzfeed, Clinton spoke in Norwalk, Iowa, on Wednesday about her family’s arrival in the country. “All my grandparents, you know, came over here,” she said.
    Only her paternal grandfather, Hugh Rodham Sr., immigrated to the United States, according to Buzzfeed. Her paternal grandmother, Hanna Jones Rodham, was born in Pennsylvania, records show.

    Clinton’s maternal grandparents, Della Howell and Edwin Howell, were both born in Illinois, according to records.

    Clinton gave similar comments in a speech in Louisville, Ky., last April, saying her paternal grandmother “immigrated with her family as a young girl to Scranton and went to work — very young―in a silk mill.”

    Buzzfeed reported that a Clinton spokesman said in response, “Her grandparents always spoke about the immigrant experience and, as a result she has always thought of them as immigrants.”

    The spokesman went on to say, “As has been correctly pointed out, while her grandfather was an immigrant, it appears that Hillary’s grandmother was born shortly after her parents and siblings arrived in the U.S. in the early 1880s.”

  27. Chunky's Missing Brain says:

    I’m trying to figure out what Chunky is babbling about in his post “Why Is Everyone Acting Dumb About Hillary Clinton’s Email” er something. He seems to come to the bizarre conclusion that if the Hillbag used her private email for all correspondence with gov’t officials, which she’s admitted then everyone already knew she was using private email. Including Issa I guess. And therefore the story that she might be in some legal jeopardy due to not responding in 2012 to the direct question delivered (BY SNAIL MAIL Chunk and other LGF morons) is “foolish”. And then he ends with “Am I missing something?”

    Uh yeah Chunky. You’re missing me.

  28. Chunky's Missing Brain says:

    I think Chunky must’ve cloned DWS’s brain and is now using it. He says this kind of dumb assed shit all the time.

  29. kbdabear says:

    Churches vandalized with pro-gay graffiti

    If Fatass mentions this at all, it will be to claim that it’s a “fake” and that the churches painted those hate messages themselves to make gays look bad. Only “hate crimes” from the “approved” people are to be taken as gospel truth.

  30. osprey1 says:

    RSM is discussing this today:

    I’ve got $20 that says this latest Wile E. Coyote Acme Rocket Skates™ genius plan will fail. What will happen, I predict, is that someone inside the Secret Blog Commenting System will say something that pisses off Charles Johnson, resulting in one of his periodic spasms of ban-the-dissenters fury,. Screen-caps of the Secret Blog Commenting System discussion will then be published, with embarrassing consequences for Charles & Friends. Of course, this will be of interest only to those of us who remember who Charles Johnson was, back when he really mattered, which was many, many years ago.

    • Arachne says:

      Would this study be by the same idiots who claimed there were something like 1,000 gun incidents at schools last year? That was found to be completely false. That something like only 7% of those incidents were actually school-related? (Not minimalizing those incidents by any means).

  31. Because says:

  32. Chunky's Missing Brain says:

    And she had her own email server now wiped by her because she didn’t like to carry two phones er something. Except she did have two phones.

    Why doesn’t she just say “Vote for me. I have superpowers”?

  33. Chunky's Missing Brain says:

    Frickin’ hilarious!!

  34. […] explains my tendency to attract crazy trolls and, speaking of which, Charles Johnson has created a Secret Blog Commenting System that will allow him and his dwindling mob of kooks to discuss their we… without fear that someone will screen-cap their […]

  35. Octopus says:

    Corporations! 😯

  36. pineapple's private message says:

    Blubberman uses his SEKRIT message function.

    136 Charles Johnson
    Apr 16, 2015 1:24:16pm


    “Some more good news…”

    “Private Comment”

    I was able to reveal his private comment however.

    “Some more good news…”

    “I found my bike, it was in my butt crack.”

    • rightymouse says:

      Twitter’s day of reckoning with Fatso may be nigh. LOL!

    • Bunk X says:

      The comments on that post are interesting.

      Veronica: If you don’t approve, you haven’t run into an app called “Block Together”. It’s a list that can block ANY group of people for no reason. I lost my main account b/c a group “blocked” me and I was suspended. Did I aim at minorities? NO. I RTd news about terrorists and that did it. Wake up people, the Jihadis are taking over Social Media. It’s your choice.You will have NO voice at all.

      Sergey: I reported on a person that abused another person. Guess what, Twitter made the abusive comments unseen to me, and still seen to everybody. They protect? No, they treat a reporting individual like a mentally ill. But the abusers are safe and sound and going on with their nasty trolling.

      • Because says:

        Maybe because most of the reporting is done by mentally ill weirods from the Donkey Show?

      • Bunk X says:

        Here’s the ap Veronica made reference to.

      • Bunk X says:

        Block Together is designed to reduce the burden of blocking when many accounts are attacking you, or when a few accounts are attacking many people in your community. It uses the Twitter API. If you choose to share your list of blocks, your friends can subscribe to your list so that when you block an account, they block that account automatically. You can also use Block Together without sharing your blocks with anyone.

  37. Because says:

    No I don’t, goose. Spit it out.

  38. rightymouse says:

    Gussy. Do yourself & everyone else a favor and stop tweeting tonight.
    This was horrible & so very wrong.

  39. Octopus says:

    Wings rookie goalie steals game one. Tigers are killing it in every category. I love sports. 🙂

    Note: By the middle of next week, I might hate sports again. 😉

  40. Octopus says:

    Crazy photographer snapped these shots as the angry lion approached him with bad intent. Look at that face!

  41. Octopus says:

    O.M.G. 😥

  42. Octopus says:

    Sorry, Gisele. We’re unretiring you. Get back on the catwalk.

  43. OT-

    It’s quite something, CJ’s obsession with CCJ, just based on tweets alone.

    Is there a way to quantify how many times CJ has tweeted about CCJ? Op? You there? I bet the number exceeds the total tweets of all of us “stalkers” put together.

    • Octopus says:

      He loves Ginger with the hot passion of a thousand burning suns. His love burns so bright you must avert your eyes, or risk being blinded.

    • Bunk X says:

      It looks like he’s setting up Twitter Response Traps. Like he’s never done that before.

    • inspector fromage says:

      I like how his little toadie Grover Dill AKA Kragar chimes in

  44. stabby says:

    He wants secret posts, but only for his friends, and only for his BFF who never criticize him?

    My God, if LGF was run by a 13 year old it would be just the same… only less boring.

  45. Octopus says:

    Let’s all go to the gym!

  46. Octopus says:

    And one for the long-suffering ladies…hey, he might be into chicks. Stranger things have happened. 🙂

  47. Octopus says:

    Back to the hockey grind this afternoon, with the Wings facing an enraged Bolts, victims of grand theft larceny in game one. Hoping for a stronger performance from our skaters, another head-stand from our rookie goalie, and the same outcome: a crushing underdog win. 🙂

    Abu, your series looks about the way I expected so far. The Preds are tough. It’s going to go six or seven games, but Chicago will take it. Too much clutch-firepower, in the end.

  48. […] explains my tendency to attract crazy trolls and, speaking of which, Charles Johnson has created a Secret Blog Commenting System that will allow him and his dwindling mob of kooks to discuss their we… without fear that someone will screen-cap their […]