THE 2014 LITTLE GREEN FOOTBALLS AWARDSPosted: January 26, 2015
A Hearty Welcome to all BlogMockers, Stalkers, TwitterWarriors, Chuckleophiles, Current & Former Lizards and Esteemed Fellows of The Diary of Daedalus! Grab a brew and a big bowl of Cheetos’ cause it’s time for
The Annual LGF Awards!
Pickin’s were slim for Stupor Bowl 2014. Charles Johnson’s website Little Green Footballs has become a homogenous mix of like-minded vaporbrains, answering the right questions with the wrong answers while patting their fuzzy pockmarked behinds with congratulatory updings. This year’s Award Nominees and Poll Results turned up some surprises, so without further adieu, here are the recipients of The 2014 LGF Awards.
Previous winners of The Buzzsaw Award for intrepid flounce-worthy snarkage were:
2013 – Killgore Trout
2012 – Rightwing_2 aka MF Horn
2011 – No Awards. Fire in the Boiler Room
2010 – Cato “Do It Now” The Elder
The 2014 Buzzsaw Award is hereby presented to Killgore Trout.
Killgore Trout (Recipient of the 2013 Buzzsaw Award) received a whopping 52% of the vote this time around. He’s best known for his dishonest astroturfing of right wing websites in order to gain favor with Charles Johnson, and it worked for a while. Killgore lost his crown due to LGF hive attacks (orchestrated by Iceweasel & Jimmah), his penchant for non-conformity and general contrarian positions on LGF, and especially for his unwavering support for the State of Israel.
THE IRISH ROSE
Previous winners of The Irish Rose Award for salivating suckage:
2013 – Gus_802
2012 – Dark Falcon
2011 – No Awards. Fire in the Boiler Room
2010 – Dark Falcon
The 2014 Irish Rose Award is hereby presented to Stabby
The Irish Rose is not one that most recipients cherish. It acknowledges drooling unrequited love and adulation of Charles Foster Johnson and is reserved for those sycophantic little lizard lappers who remain in good standing at Little Green Footballs by stroking the Big Green Donkey Charles. Many assumed that El Gusano would win again this year, but it wasn’t in the cards for the Argentinian anti-American pro-jihad Johnson-catching Jew hater.
To his credit, Stabby had the cojones (unlike other LGF patrons like Gus_802 or Dark Falcon) to venture past the confines of The Swamp and opine at Diary of Daedalus, and therefore deserves the Award. (We’ve hosed off and disinfected Gus’ stained and encrusted throne, so shut up and have a seat.)
No one ever doubts who’s going to win The Johnson Award because there are so few 60+ year old guitarist bloggers with magical jazzy ponytails who qualify.
Here’s the vote breakdown. G’head. Click it, Charles.
2013 – Robert Stacy McCain
2012 – Andrew Breitbart (awarded posthumously)
Of all the LGF Awards, this one is perhaps the most auspicious (Charles pronounces the word “ouse-picky-use”) because it involves those who smack down The Corpulent Blogger with intelligence, logic, clever wit and humor.
Nick Searcy [@YesNickSearcy] won with 32% of the vote for his concise and effortless Twitter smackdowns of Charles [@Green_Footballs] Johnson’s kikmidog-style of ankle biting, and demonstrated the heart, soul, snark and wit required of all recipients of This Award. Therefore
Without disparaging Mr. Searcy’s entertaining and invaluable contributions, he never endured the vile barrage that Charles Johnson and his Little Green Flying Monkeys unleashed on Mandy [@Liberty_Chick] Nagy. While coping with Lupus Disease, Mandy suffered a massive stroke last fall, leaving her seriously crippled, both physically and mentally, and Charles Foster Johnson sent NO condolences.
Honorable Mention: Mandy Nagy
Kudos to all who participated in This Poll, and thanks also to The Corpulent One, whose hyperbolic bloviation and juvenile attention-whoring idiocy has provided us so much inane entertainment over the years.
Charles, PLEASE keep up the stupid. Were it not for your massive ego, your unjustified backstabbing of benefactors and supporters, and your dearth of coherent logic, we wouldn’t be sitting behind you at the Matinee kicking your chair, spitting Milk Duds down your shirt collar and betting on how many wet jujubes your magical jazzy ponytail can hold before they start dropping into your plumber’s crack. Thank you, Charles.