Charles begs for Christmas money

This has to be one of the most pathetic attempts at asking for money I have ever seen from Charles.

Charles Begs

Who the hell would subscribe to LGF?


180 Comments on “Charles begs for Christmas money”

  1. Bunk X says:

    “Who the hell would subscribe to LGF?”

    Cato the Elder would if he had the scratch, but he’s got the Baltimore Sun obits instead.

  2. Whatever, man says:

    Gift Subscriptions.

    To LGF.

    I. Just. Can’t. Even.

  3. Octopus says:

    It’s so sad.

  4. Octopus says:

    Found this book today while going through boxes in basement, looking for something else. I remember being amused by the book in college, but upon current reading, it really holds the unflinching spotlight up to the White Guilt Syndrome, and its scornful manipulation by savvy black hustlers. Great writing, some of the best of Wolfe’s career. The text is online, if you want to check it out sometime.

  5. Bunk X says:

  6. Minnow says:

    My inside sources at Sony and the CIA and the Department of Insane Washed Up Losers looked at me when I mentioned Barry and started laughing uncontrollably.


    Hey Barry – I live in your head.

    Eat it pig.

  7. Bunk X says:

    2 Bubblehead II Dec 18, 2014 2:10:51pm
    re: #1 blueraven

    I have to say, since I subscribed a couple of years ago, LGF is a much more enjoyable web experience. Well worth the (especially low) price!

    Same here. Charles, is there anyway I could convince you to put a subscription expiration date in the account settings page? Would be nice to know when I need to renew.

    3 Fourth Football of the Apocalypse Dec 18, 2014 2:13:03pm
    I must be on auto-renew because mine automatically renewed in October.

    4 Donny Lizardlapper Dec 18, 2014 2:14:25pm
    This place is great. Charles, you should jack the price and make Little Green Footballs an exclusive premium countryclub website instead of giving your content away for free. I don’t know how you do it. Although I’m only working part time at minimum wage with kids to feed, here’s a $100 donation.

  8. Pakimon says:

    You like chicken pot pies? #WorstDateIn5Words

    Wanna see my Lego collection? #WorstDateIn5Words

  9. Because no, it's just you says:

  10. Octopus says:

    “I know I’ve drunk enough, when I can’t understand other people’s tweets at all…zzz.”

  11. Juan Epstein says:

    Lizard Porn:

    [video src="" /]

  12. Octopus says:

    The only sources you have inside Sony are the old Steely Dan cassettes in your Walkman. And that’s been broken since ’93, when your ex-wife threw it at your head and missed, striking and killing Spike, the world’s most gluttonous cat. Poor Spike! 😦

    • Arachne says:

      Barney in the mailroom is not an inside source, Fuckface. Notice they didn’t elaborate.
      Itchy, you have no sources. NONE. Hell, you don’t even have operatives anymore and rely solely on appropriating others work and having to fess up to it when they find you out. What’s really annoying you is that someone with the same as you actually DOES have sources, does field work and makes you look like the complete hack you are. Has now gained more than 10,000 followers since your spiteful silliness commenced and look – you’ve barely gained 1000.

    • Arachne says:

      Does he still try to intimate that he’s played with the Dan?

  13. Octopus says:

    There’s a flotilla leaving for Havana in the morning. Be on that dinghy! Wear something bright, that can double as a rescue flag.

  14. Octopus says:

    Dinnah is served. Thanks, kittycat.

  15. dwells38 says:

    Right, it had nothing to do with the riots and protests and violence and vandalism and lawlessness. Because then that would be racist. It’s just that for some reason business is really bad there lately.

    FERGUSON, Mo. ( – A major chain is shutting down its store in Ferguson

    Big Lots is the second national chain store that has closed since the death of Mike Brown. Neither Big Lots, nor KMART, who previously announced the closure of its Ferguson store, are linking the shut down to the area unrest but some small businesses are feeling the pinch.
    “Once my lease is open I think I will have to move,” said Binh Ho. Ho owns a nail shop near the Big Lots and said her business has been down 50 percent.
    Her neighbor, Salon Selective, also shut down.
    “I worked at Salon Selective and I lost my job. She closed up after the riots her clients did not want to come over here anymore because of all the things going on,” said Carolyn Tidwell.
    The Kmart at 270 and West Florissant announced in September it would close.
    “It’s really bad because we don’t have anywhere to go as is if these things shut down where are we going to go we have nowhere else to go,” said resident Sandy Rason.
    The Walmart and Sams in Ferguson said they’ve seen a change in operations, however they have no plans to leave the area.

  16. Because who? Chunk? says:

    • Octopus says:

      Talking about his gastrointestinal problems again. Go easy on the Sterno, dude. Mix it with some of that flat store-brand cola, they throw out occasionally at the supermarket.

    • Octopus says:

      Different Lewd-Freak. If it was our boy, he’d be screaming from the rooftops, “Run, people! Head for the hills! Thar be a tidal wave a-comin’!” Yes, he turned into a prospector, there. Guess he’s been trying to strike it rich up there, since getting the ban-stick.

  17. Octopus says:

    Ace had a jokey in the sidebar, saying that this movie is being released by Sony to replace “The Interview” in the holiday season lineup. Heh. I started watching it, and had to force myself to stop. 😆

  18. Because olo says:

    • Arachne says:

      Hey Katie – why don’t you ask Fatfuck why he’s the one keeping him in the spotlight? Because otherwise he’d have nothing to write about. NOTHING. Just like YOU.

    • kbdabear says:

      Katie: Can we move on from CCJ? There are other things going on in the world
      Fatass: NEVER! I’ll never sleep nor get off this chair until The Ginger Nazi is in San Quentin!
      Katie: I was trying to tell you in a nice way that no one else cares about him
      Fatass: You were getting my insights for free, but no more! Say hello to my block button!

  19. Because penis penis penis lol says:

  20. Arachne says:

    I think we’ve solved the mystery of “where’s the Purple (whatever it was called)”?
    Chuck is using for cheap Xmas decorations.

  21. kbdabear says:

    No matter that Jackie’s story has fallen apart like a 1988 Yugo, Fatass is going to remind the world about that wrong photo!

    Speaking of fail …

  22. kbdabear says:

  23. Because olo says:

  24. swamprat says:

    charles needs Christmas money for a Holiday he doesn’t believe in.

  25. trebob says:

    A nerd’s flashmob:

  26. Because ONOOOOOOSE!!!!11!!1 says:

  27. Because olo says:

  28. trebob says:

    Ocky, did you see this? We knew it, but it’s good to get some validation. You can bet they used science in their determination.

  29. Because olo says:

  30. Because olo says:

  31. Bunk X says:


  32. Dudebro says:

  33. Because says:

  34. Because says:

    … and tips over …

  35. Macker says:

    ADMINS: Is Blogmoc down?

  36. rightymouse says:

    Rodney Dangerfield:

    My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.

    • rightymouse says:

      More Rodney Dangerfield:

      My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
      😆 😆

    • dwells38 says:

      Dangerfield was one of those dying breed of comedians that actually makes you laugh.

      Here is on a “I tellya My Wife” roll right out of the gate….

  37. dwells38 says:

    White Nationalist Scheduled to Speak at South Carolina Tea Party Coalition Convention
    1 hour ago

    I don’t agree with this Roan Garcia-Quinta’s ideas on race either (he’s against race intermarrying). But Chunk’s merely piling on to smear the Tea Party which has no stated race opinions and has a many minority members. After all, you never hear him complaining about the radical black supremacist New Black Panther Party who are behind inciting much of the Ferguson related violence.

    The New Black Panther Party are disavowed even by the original BPP for these reasons:

    Critics of the NBPP say that the group’s politics represent a dangerous departure from the original intent of black nationalism; specifically, that they are starkly anti-white, and also antisemitic. The Southern Poverty Law Center classifies the NBPP as a “black racist” hate group.[12] Even the mildest critics of the organization have said that the NBPP’s provocative brand of black supremacy undermines other civil rights efforts.

    • dwells38 says:

      Roan Garcia-Quintana. I mispelled his name. Oh here’s a few more things about this terrifying individual who isn’t inciting riots and burning businesses down:

      Garcia-Quintana is no flash in the pan in the Republican Party. Trained as a statistician, he says he worked as a pollster for famed Southern Strategy consultant Lee Atwater on 22 Congressional and Senate races. He worked on Ronald Reagan’s 1980 presidential campaign and was later appointed by Reagan as deputy director of the National Institute of Education. A Savannah native, he headed back south after the Reagan years to raise children and settled in Mauldin, S.C. He found work teaching mathematics and computer science at the University of South Carolina and then at the high school level before eventually retiring. Now 62 years old, Garcia-Quintana says he gave consultation to Upstate Tea Party groups in their early stages on “how to approach legislators and how to remove them from office if that should be the case.”

      Oh, and he has black friends. Like Atwater, who famously played guitar in nightclubs around D.C. even when he was chairman of the Republican National Committee, Garcia-Quintana is a blues aficionado, and he says the two of them would frequent majority-black clubs together. “We would sneak out and go into … Anacostia, and we’d find some juke joints, and we were the only two white folks in there, or whatever you want to call us, Caucasian folks, whatever. But music transcends everything, and for me to be called these names, and here I am a blues piano player, guitar player, it’s sort of an oxymoron.”

  38. dwells38 says:

    More of Chunks peeps. Chunk and the Ferguson Protesters and the Progressive left all believe if you support your local police then you’re a racist.

  39. dwells38 says:

    Think of all the young people, especially blacks who are now going to eschew a career in criminal justice or get jobs as police officers thanks to this new anti-police movement. When they march in protest they denounce the black cops providing security as sellouts and Uncle Toms. And then complain there aren’t enough black cops.

  40. Because nom bumf says:

  41. dwells38 says:

    Wow. Here’s what a good job the Progturd left that Chunk has enthusiastically joined has done at lobotomizing young Americans. A full 2/3rds of these students reveal themselves as incapable of applying any kind of skeptical reasoning and quickly get punked into agreeing to forfeit their own rights to a totalitarian concept of forced deportment of legal citizens. I can only guess that they’re assuming it would be Republcians, conservatives and Tea Baggers that would be traded for undocumented illegals. Which would likely include some of their own family members! Talk about your educated idiots.

    Students at George Washington University (GWU) willingly signed a petition supporting the deportation of one American citizen in exchange for one illegal immigrant.

    “Please sign our petition for President Obama to deport one American citizen, in exchange for one undocumented immigrant,” read the petition. “Everyone must be allowed a shot at the ‘American Dream.’ Americans should not be greedy. Let us right the wrongs of our past and make another’s dreams come true.”

    “It makes sense,” one student told Campus Reform. “Like, I’ve noticed that there is a lot of like hatred against undocumented immigrants and it’s not necessarily their fault.”

    “Everybody deserves a shot and we shouldn’t rule anybody out,” said another.

    After some consideration, a female student decided signing the petition was best in the name of social justice.

    “If somebody were to sign up for this program and they were going to go through all the effort to become this one undocumented immigrant than I think that’s enough will power and enough desire, they should be able to come in,” she said.

    Campus Reform was at GWU for around an hour and was able to gather signatures from more than two-thirds of the students they talked to.

    Last month, President Obama used an executive action to extend deportation protections to nearly five million illegal immigrants.

    • kbdabear says:

      The proggies should volunteer themselves to leave first. After all, America is such a hateful racist homophobic rapey place that doesn’t have single-payer health care or free college. They should be thrilled to leave

  42. Octopus says:

    So much racism! So much illiberalism, amongst liberals. It’s Kristalnacht for satirists.

  43. dwells38 says:

    RT @Green_Footballs: Promoted to LGF front page: Christians More Supportive of Torture Than Non-Religious Americans
    14 minutes ago

    And Godless Progturds more tolerant of moron narratives, murderous tyrants, gang thugs attacking police, shitting on police cars, groping teenagers, pissing in doorways, knocking white people out and being total fucker liars about their policies helping anyone.

    What’s your point Fatboy?

  44. dwells38 says:

    Wait – wasn’t @ChuckCJohnson going to sue Politico this week? Didn’t he say he got all the “funding” for it? I wonder what happened?
    1 hour ago

    Wait – didn’t you already say that multiple times on Twitter?

  45. dwells38 says:

    Hacked Emails Reveal China’s Elaborate and Absurd Internet Propaganda Machine
    4 hours ago

    Why single out China when Obungle’s internet propaganda machine is just as elaborate and absurd.

  46. dwells38 says:

    Here’s Chunky, Gus and some LGFers kicking around ideas to generate cash and conserve money.

  47. kbdabear says:

    How about a “Hands Up, I Can’t Breathe” from Fatass. How does it feel to be on the side of those wanting dead cops now that we have dead cops, Fatass?

  48. Because golly! says:

    • dwells38 says:

      Apparently Chunk’s found an efficient and proportional tiny Preparation H tube for treating his scaly rectal angle. More than I needed to know.

  49. Octopus says:

    The original:

    Charming comedic vignette, or date-rape scenario? You decide.

  50. Because says:

    I know somebody who’s pressing his live tweeter.

  51. Abu Milyo says:

    Paki, I guess my jumping on the Eagles bandwagon hasn’t turned into wins. My bad.
    Hopefully you’ll still post cheerleader photos tomorrow morning. It’ll be 40 here in nordteast IL so I’m golfing!
    Go away Bears!

    • Octopus says:

      Philly’s loss today means the Lions are in the playoffs, so there’s that to celebrate. Still have a lot to prove, like whether they can win a late season road game, in the cold. Chicago’s the first test tomorrow, and then Green Bay next week. Detroit hasn’t put together a game where they’ve clicked on all cylinders, but we’ve been finding a way to win, most weeks. I wonder if they’ll feel the same motivational fire, now that they’ve “backed in.” I hope so. There are so many Ghosts Of Horrible Seasons Past to expunge… 😯

      • Abu Ditka says:

        To Octo and Macker:
        Yo Lions will roll over the Bears and whosshisname at QB for Chicago. Easy, baby!
        These last 2 games are the draft pick run for Chicago – which by the way – should fire every non-McCaskey. Period. The last 2 GMs were/are asswipes. No more. Mike Holmgren, please!

        PS: The Packers are going to bitch-slap the Lions in GB. Sorry. Aaron Rodgers is all that.

      • Macker says:

        GO LIONS! Beat those LHGM!

      • Abu Butkus says:

        LHGM? What does that even mean? Granted, I want the Bears to lose but clarify, please.

      • Octopus says:

        Abu – The Lions should roll over the Bears today, but we see this as a classic trap-game. Clausen will come out and throw for 300 yards, and Forte will break a couple of long runs. Stafford will throw a couple of unfortunate back-footers, including a pick-six. Lions will struggle mightily. Maybe pull it out of the fire, with a late rally.

  52. kbdabear says:

    From the shithead who never fails to point the finger at “wingnuts” and “racist teabaggers” every time there’s a shooting in the news …

    Fatass, you OWN this, you piece of shit

  53. Because says:

  54. Octopus says:

    Non compos mentis.

    No forma.
    6 hours ago
    Alt set.
    6 hours ago
    No se.
    6 hours ago
    You won’t know.
    6 hours ago
    We always care.
    7 hours ago
    You can buy some nice weed here.
    7 hours ago

    On paper, a little weed should be better for Gus’s mind than the steady Sterno diet he’s been on for the past year, since they raised the price on 5 O’Clock Vodka to $3 pint. Chisellers! However, last night he got tongue-tied. Must have been some medicinal Indica, intended to put cancer patients to sleep.

    • Because says:

      What you need to understand though, is that in CO and WA, maryhooch is still unaffordable. The sales pitch that the initiative supporters gave was that it was going to take the profit away from the criminals. The reality of the implementation is that they just gave the same profits over to a different bunch of criminals known as the government.

      Not that much has changes in the cost dept.

      • Octopus says:

        Well, all that aside, I like the way last night’s batch put Gus-Gus to sleep, after rendering him near-speechless. Good stuff! 😆

  55. Octopus says:

    Today is the shortest day of the year, sun-wise in North America. I think I’ll tie one on this afternoon, like the pagans used to do, and then chase the wife around. I’ll put on George’s antlers, which he doesn’t care for. Bring out the Festivus Pole. 🙂

    Or, maybe I’ll just take a nap. The kids are here, and we have to keep up appearances.

    Go Lions!

    • Macker says:

      LIONS 20, duhhhhhh, Bears 14.

      • Octopus says:

        It’s scary how well I know this team. 😯

        I promised myself I wouldn’t get sucked in, and start thinking that this was going to be the year they finally threw off the shackles of the Curse Of Bobby Layne. But they keep winning. Now I’m in. ARGH!!

        If you hear me saying stupid shit like, “We can beat the Packers at Lambeau, we just need to limit turnovers and keep playing hungry,” don’t judge me too harshly. We Lions-fans have been hurt before, and often. Perennially. Perineumly.

        The first three quarters of today’s game were a perfect slide-show of the kind of “Same Old Lions” bullshit that we’ve come to know and despise. The fourth was something newer, being the kind of comeback win the Lions have pulled out time and time again this year. Of course you can’t keep going to that well, as the national announcers keep reminding us every week. On the other hand, making big plays when the game is on the line is what separates the winners from the losers, and we’ve had plenty of practice. Who knows what can happen next week? And now, I’m saying stupid shit. Of course they can’t win in Lambeau. They’ve lost 23 straight there. Get real.

      • Abu Fontes says:

        My golf plans fell through and I watched duhhhhh Bears lose, which is desired. I must state the Lions play beyond the whistle (nothing wrong) but the stomp on he back of Ego Ferguson’s ankle by some talentless douche will be dealt with by the league.

        I hope the Lions beat the Packers. It will be interesting to see if the Lions will shed the dirty crap, especially if Rodgers has GB up by 5 touchdowns at half.

      • Octopus says:

        The Lions won’t beat the Packers at Lambeau, dirty stuff or no dirty stuff. It just doesn’t happen. On the other hand…bring the dirty all day long! 😈

        The dirty-stuff rep the Lions are now getting is overrated, just like the rep of the Bad Boys in basketball, circa 1989-90. If by some miracle they win big this year, it will become a legendary kind of thing, piggybacking on the Detroit-badness theme. It’s a lot of nonsense. Hurts the home team more than helps, that’s for sure.

  56. Octopus says:

    This article about our soldiers in Afghanistan choked me up. Written by a Frog, even. 😆

  57. Because says:

    Shitz getting real in NY.

  58. Because says:

    Guess who’s all over this story?

    Moobs is going to be tweeting feces all day. 😆

  59. Because says:

    Moderation Monkey sucks donkeys.

  60. Because says:

    Awfully quiet over in twitter land. >>>>>

    MMFA memo late?

  61. rightymouse says:

    We have a winner in the non sequitur contest.

    • rightymouse says:

      Non sequitur contest runner-up.

    • Minnow says:

      ….and you say Gus is unemployed and down on his luck? With a brain like that….. it isn’t much of a surprise I guess.

      Hey Gus – how does it feel to have an IQ of less than 70?

      (No darling, you don’t have to answer.)

  62. rightymouse says:

    Of course you do. Wouldn’t expect anything less from people like you.

  63. swamprat says:

    Charles Johnson ‏@Green_Footballs 15m15 minutes ago

    So a sociopathic career criminal goes on a rampage, shoots his girlfriend & two cops, then kills himself. And this means Obama is to blame.
    0 replies 18 retweets 11 favorites

    So this guy wasn’t a “gentle giant”?
    Or a right-wing gun nut?
    Or a priest?
    Or a muslim committing a workplace incident?

    Just a nut who listened to people like you.
    Remember the target in the Sarah Palin ad?
    You can’t have it both ways.
    Moar gun control! (repeat endlessly)

  64. Because no shit, Bummo? says:

  65. Octopus says:

    Every day, it seems, Dear Fatass is bitching about this or that person being invited to join the discussion on a national news or talk show. He is incensed! 😆

    A person with just a smidgen of self-awareness would be afraid of looking like a completely-embittered loser. Not Our Chunky! He just keeps keeping on, in total oblivion. A recluse with a computer, and a fading Apple monitor… 😦

  66. rightymouse says:

  67. Because WOO HOO!!!11! says:

  68. Because says:

  69. Abu says:

    Old Line Texan declared years ago, he would only refer to Fuckface Johnson as “Stalker Charles”, because he is a stalker.

    OLT is wise, but we knew that.

    • Octopus says:

      We all have our pet names for Dear Fatass, and Stalker Charles is as good as any. So is Big Fat Pig-Dog. Or, Insufferable Twat Of A Ponytailed Neckbeard.

      There are lots of good names for the embittered loser manque. 🙂