Charles Johnson: “Stalkers, please kiss my ass.”

For a number of years Charles has complained that people are stalking him. If it is true, he really should report this to authorities so they can stop him from being stalked. Rather than go the legal route, he complains that we are his Stalkers. I can vouch 100% that no one associated with the Diary of Daedalus has ever stalked Charles Johnson. None of us ever went to his home or followed him the few times he left his “gated community.”  I would never endorse the stalking of Charles and would cooperate with him to end it.

In a very paranoid move, Charles accuses ChenZhen and Gus_807 of stalking him. He makes this accusation based on interactions on twitter.

Charles fails to realize that Twitter is not reality.

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106 Comments on “Charles Johnson: “Stalkers, please kiss my ass.””

  1. I don’t understand. He’s got his tweetdeck filter thingy and he makes a point to announce it when he proudly blocks people, which would lead one to believe that he thinks all that accomplishes something.

    What more does he want twitter to do? He should just come out with it.

    • Pakimon says:

      I imagine Chunkles wants Twitter to start an “Updingie/Downdingie” system and give him unlimited administrative privileges so he can wield his mighty ban stick against all who annoy him.

    • Arachne says:

      Dear Buddha Boy:

      It is not up to YOU to decide who others interact with. I get liberals in my timeline all the time. If they have a legitimate comment, no problem. If they use vulgar terms to describe women, I block them. That’s all. It’s the price of playing in the social media “mil-yo” that you will occassionally get someone in your timeline you find offensive. But you are not the hall monitor for others’ timelines. It is not up to you to decide that someone should not be tweeting to others. Block us all you want. No one gives a crap. But the fact that you get mentioned in someone else’s tweets is the price you pay. Put on your big-boy pants (if you can find them) and either live with it or get the eff off the social media.

      And considering the way YOU go after your target du jour, I would be really careful about whining about Twitter protecting people from stalking and harassment.

  2. And I’m certainly not a right winger.

    • Pakimon says:

      I’m sure Chunkles thinks you’re some sort of Libertarian dudebro out to poison Twitter with especially toxic critiques of everything he tweets. 😆

  3. Octopus says:

    Fargo was awesome tonight, though. You should tweet out a couple of plot-points, Chunky. The kids love spoilers!

  4. Octopus says:

    In honor of Chunky’s latest climate-alarmist trope, the one, the only…Chris Farley!

  5. Octopus says:

    That’s odd. Earlier today, you tweeted out the blurb, “Socially conservative libertarianism: oxymoron of the day.” And now it’s poisoning everything, even more toxic than regular libertarianism, which was already poisoning everything. I think we should get you alone together with a good dictionary. “Alone together” is an oxymoron. You’re a moron, too.

  6. Octopus says:

    In other, more relevant news, women are less important than animals in many Islamic countries. It’s true! Of course, Fatass McDumbth wouldn’t dare to mention Muslim misogyny, or send out numerous tweets per day citing examples. He left all that truth-stuff behind, on January 1, 2009.

    http://mostintolerantreligion.com/the-challenge/muhammad-a-misogynist/

  7. KGB says:

    Why is it not surprising that after spending an entire day Tweeting, manning the correlator tool, and stalking conservatives (and ChenZhen) that Charles decides to unwind by plopping himself in front of the idiot box? If anyone has earned a few hours of down time it’s surely our favorite Chucklehead. All that seething is hard work!

  8. Kurt's calling it as he sees it says:

    Charles you outed people knowing that some of your rabid sycophants would stalk them IRL so fuck you pansy ass whiny bitch.

  9. Octopus says:

    The academic Left also intrudes into anthropology: http://www.city-journal.org/2014/bc0413sm.html

    Primitive man did not lead some kind of peaceful, idyllic life, free of the pursuit of material wealth and bonded in kinship with his fellows. It was Hobbesian as can be.

    Great article about how political correctness trumps real scientific inquiry. Not forever, though. The truth tends to come out, over time, thanks to brave researchers with real integrity. There’s hope for the climate science, in other words.

  10. Octopus says:

    Today’s Waddling Orders: Much more harping on Cantor’s defeat, with emphasis on racist immigration reform. The usual attacks on Limbaugh and Hannity. DESTROY THE BRAT!!1!

  11. Kurt's bitch slap of COLD HARD TRUTH says:

    “libertarianism poisons everything”

    Charles is trying to make a phrase hip and cool. Remember back in the day when terms like splodeydope were all the rage.

    what dumbfuck doesn’t realize is that it was his cool and smart readership that came up with and popularized these phrases. it had nothing to do with Charles because he is a witless cut and paste man

    Charles keep bleating and retweeting this stupid libertarianism phrase. it was stupid the first time and even worse the 1000th

    • Arachne says:

      And he couldn’t elaborate on that remark with fact and examples or even commentary. But it does make a good sound bite, don’t it? Check it out, hipsters – Chaz haz the mad skillz wif da clevah!

      And to say it once again – for a man so obsessed with “honesty” – he still has a 10-year-old pic as his avatar. Only one chin in that one.

    • Because says:

      It’s hip to be a slave. Freedom is for squares. Can I sit with the cool kids now?

  12. Juan Epstein says:

    Bergdahzi.

  13. Juan Epstein says:

    Post-Modernism poisons everything.

  14. Octopus says:

    Jim’s found his level. Again. 😆

    • Arachne says:

      Was there a groundswell demand for yet another episode in this inane series? Now I cringe in fear of an “Ace Ventura” three-quel.

      • Octopus says:

        There was a time, long long ago, when the kids were little and we took them to silly movies, that Jim Carrey’s movies actually gave me a few laffs. “The Mask,” “The Grinch,” the first Ace Ventura, “Liar Liar.” Now, he’s just a sad Hollywood retread, with too much money, and too little education. Goes from starlet to starlet. One bad movie with no audience after another. 😦

  15. Octopus says:

    Gus really, really wants Obama to win Iraq. Just the man to do it, too!

    • OLT's Because Quotes Are Racist says:

      • Arachne says:

        Gus is surprised every time he goes to pee and learns he still has a penis penis penis LOL.

      • Octopus says:

        Chunky wishes he could see his penis penis penis LOL, but no matter how he lolls about, he just can’t get there. Stupid pannus! 😡

  16. Arachne says:

    Twitter COO Ali Rowghani – OUT!

    http://www.businessinsider.com/ali-rowghani-role-at-twitter-2014-6

    Countdown to the Gargantuan Gamester trying to claim credit……

  17. OLT's Because Facts Are Racist says:

    CNN calls bullshit on Bloomberg Astroturf group, but too chicken to actually say it:

    http://www.cnn.com/2014/06/11/us/school-shootings-cnn-number/index.html?hpt=hp_t5

    • Octopus says:

      I feel like CNN is trying to escape the Abysmal Pit Of Ignorance they’ve wallowed in for so long, but they just…can’t…quite…get there. Jake Tapper is a good guy. Maybe he can lead them to higher, firmer ground.

    • Octopus says:

      15 incidents is pretty close to 74…close enough for government work. 🙄

      • Arachne says:

        Actually, it’s closer to 7. A different Charles Johnson (one with actual intelligence, analytic ability, etc., did the research on all those incidents. Shootings were NEAR a school (and majority were gang-related) and most of them were not “mass” shootings as they try to imply.

      • Bunk X says:

        Converting from metric volume to US dollars is a common error.

  18. Because Onesies says:

    • Because Twosies says:

      • trebob says:

      • Arachne says:

        What does putting the period in front of a twitter handle do?

      • trebob says:

        The period in this case is an editing error on my part. The deal with tweets are if there is a handle as the first word, then the tweet only comes up in the feeds of users who follow both you and the person you are directly Tweeting. If this first part of the tweet isn’t a handle (i.e. start with a period) then it shows up in the feeds of all your followers.

        In my case, I started this tweet and then added the words at the front and didn’t removed the period (which would have been proper).

        So, the grand spirit of LGF, please mentally add a DERP to anything I comment on for the next 6 months.

    • Arachne says:

      God, didn’t he do this yesterday? No one really cares, Fatass.

      • Octopus says:

        Everyday’s a good day for ridiculing Christians or Mormons. No day is a good day for ridiculing Muslims, whose beliefs are more extreme, radical and dangerous. There is no irony here whatsoever, move along!

    • windbag says:

      Why would a non-Christian want to go to heaven, where it’s presumably filled with people you don’t agree with? So, what sort of stupid debate was this and why does Chunky care? Seems a bit ridiculous to be offended that someone is excluding you from a place you don’t believe exists. The guy needs to get out more.

  19. Juan Epstein says:

  20. Because surf's up, Barry! says:

    • KGB says:

      This sort of shit is so far beyond what the framers intended for our government. Why is one cent of the State Dept.’s budget being spent on pimping the ocean?

      It drives me nuts that while I’m listening to free market, small government guys like Andrew Wilkow or Mark Levin on Sirius that I have to put up with commercials from our freaking government telling me how I can be a good father — which apparently consists of me acting like kid. Again, why is the federal government in the business of lecturing parents?

      • Arachne says:

        Perhaps Gus should stop asking what CONGRESS is going to do about Iraq and direct his annoyance at Secretary of State Jetski.

  21. ChenZhen says:

    CJ gets really irritated at the mere sight of our twitter names popping up in his notifications, especially when they’re in tweets from his BFFs like this media matters guy. That’s what set him off this time.

    Just so you all know that.

    • Arachne says:

      He has no answer to any of the points we make. But he “crushes” dissent, don’t you know. I think he defines “crush” the same way Hillary defines “broke.”

    • Bunk X says:

      That’s why we’re OH SO VERY POLITE when crashing the party.

  22. Because so Cantor's NOT teh bad crazy? says:

  23. Juan Epstein says:

    I would write, Guess That Lizard, but this person left the house.

    http://www.dailydot.com/lol/aid-worker-fleshlight-photo/

    • Octopus says:

      I am somewhat proud of that person, for being honest about his personal relief system. He might be a Lewd-Wanker, but he’s out there helping people, too. More than you can say for Chunky and Garage Boy, the Twitter Twins.

      • trebob says:

        Didn’t Gus and Charles both utilize the #BringbackOurGirls hastag to get those girls that Boko Harram kidnapped released? So see, they are out there in front of things, putting it out there while we sit on our asses poking fun at them. You are a heartless and cruel racist homophobe aren’t you? No wonder Stabby won’t play with us anymore.

        What? The girls aren’t released? The tweets had no meaning what-so-ever and were totally useless?

        Never mind. 🙂

      • windbag says:

        I’m quite certain that once the Boko Bunch gets closer to civilization and gets a signal on their cells, that they’ll see the hashtag campaign and give it up. And we have brave souls like Chunky who tweeted in earnest to thank when that happens.

    • trebob says:

      Loved the tweet:

      “We peak inside the luggage of a relief worker…”

      (apparently so does the owner)

  24. Octopus says:

    http://tinyurl.com/kq92e47

    She’s got legs. She knows how to use them. 🙂

    • trebob says:

      I want one. Can you have it here by Christmas?

    • dwells38 says:

      As an old friend of mine used to say “They go right up and make an ass of themselves.” He was very crass. Thankfully I’m not. What a beautiful woman.

    • Bunk X says:

      “Yeah, she looks hot, but somewhere there’s a guy who’s had just about enough of her shit.”
      [Author unknown]

  25. Juan Epstein says:

    Psych Release From Coast Guardahzi.

  26. Juan Epstein says:

    velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zippervelcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zippervelcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zippervelcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper

  27. Octopus says:

    Flabalanche is giddy about the Bulletproof Blankie. I believe it’s going to be about as useful as the nuclear war prep we did back in First Grade. If it helps parents sleep at night, though, I’m cool with it. Much rather see an armed guard in every school, but that’s too scary a thought for the anti-gun zealots.

    Today’s Security Blanky:
    http://tinyurl.com/muobx8j

    Old School Method:
    http://tinyurl.com/l6gr2zo

    • dwells38 says:

      Yeah I was thinking that too.

      In case of impending Climate Change caused tornado or hurricane:

      Step one – deploy special anti-flying debris kevlar blanket
      Step two – cover oneself in said anti-flying debris kevlar blanket
      Step three – die because you were either just smashed flat by a concrete wall or sucked up into the vortex and spit out, a shattered corpse a mile away in a cornfield

      – The Safety Director

  28. Juan Epstein says:

    velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper/velcro or zipper

  29. Juan Epstein says:

    Allo

  30. Juan Epstein says:

    Zipper or Velcro?

  31. Juan Epstein says:

    Will he pretend to be a soccer fan?

  32. Juan Epstein says:

    One perk of white politicians.

    Comedy will return.

  33. Because says:

  34. Because when was the last time you saw a $20 bill? says:

    • Arachne says:

      Huh? Is he saying Grant was important or isn’t he?

      • OLT's Damn You Bureau Of Printing And Engraving says:

        He’s either (a) dissing Thomas Jefferson, who is a HELL of a lot more “indispensable to US History” tahn Grant or (b) has no effing clue about fifty-dollar bills.

    • OLT's Facts And Stalker Charles Don't Mix says:

      • Because Lincoln's a Democrat says:

        Cuz Jackson’s on the five. You’ve heard of the “Jackson five” haven’t you?

      • rightymouse says:

        Andrew Jackson’s on the $20.00 bill. Before him it was Grover Cleveland. What the hell is Charlie babbling about??

  35. dwells38 says:

    Just in case anyone’s in the mood for a good puke.

    http://www.vancouversun.com/Oliver+Stone+debates+American+history+Vancouver+event/9932956/story.html

    Seriously the guy is a real pinhead. Here are a few paraphrased lowlights:

    American history that he was taught in school is the Disney version, not the real one where America sucks.


    Bush broke the law because of the Florida recount.. er something.


    Hollywood says there has to be a conquering hero, but everyone thinks they’re the hero, but there not so you get crazy hero crusaders around the world and…um.


    When he made Wall Street he realized greed is not good. That’s just how smart he is.

  36. dwells38 says:

    So I guess Rick Perry’s not going to be President.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2655969/Rick-Perry-likens-homosexuality-alcoholism-asked-therapy-cure-gay-people-used-Texas-admits-doesnt-know-works.html

    Don’t know why all the seemingly viable and attractive GOP candidates find some way to take the off ramp to Crazy Town. As one of the commenters said “The correct response is “I’m here to talk about the economy””

    Chunky’s going to be doing backflips of joy over this.

    • OLT's Oh Well says:

      “He said: ‘I may have the genetic coding that I’m inclined to be an alcoholic, but I have the desire not to do that, and I look at the homosexual issue the same way.’ ”

      Whoops, not crazy town, just agreeing with the folks who say that homosexuality is something you’re born with a genetic tendency toward, just like alcoholism is supposed to be.

      Agree that he should have sidestepped the trap question and taken the heat for the lesser sin.

      • Because says:

        Shorter answer: “nobody gives a crap about teh ghey”.

      • Bunk X says:

        Sorry, but alcoholism is not genetic. A genetic predisposition to escape from assholes and stressful situations by any means possible is.

  37. Pakimon says:

    Uh oh! The rotund ponytail of jazziness will not be pleased.

    SusanT might be in for some brasnappin’ ! 😆