“The Morons at Vox”

Last night, teh Johnson went on a bit of a fiery rant over an article he stumbled across:

OK so you get the idea. No helmets? Rolling through stop signs? Idiots!

Ahem…

Ladies and gentlemen, we shall present (again) the only known images of CJ riding his bike:

CJ 2002 cycling2-big

CJ THE GALATRON

Notice anything wrong?

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94 Comments on ““The Morons at Vox””

  1. rightymouse says:

    LOL! He’s an effing hypocrite. What else is new?

  2. Here’s the other thing. I actually read the article in question (assuming it’s the one he linked to there), and I didn’t see anything about helmets anywhere in it. I did a ctrl+F search and “helmet” didn’t even come up. Did I miss it?

    And the article itself just argues for making a stop sign equivalent to a yield, and a light equivalent to a stop sign for cyclists. Backed it up with some data. Nothing that would warrant the multiple F bombs, I don’t think.

    Was CJ taking some drugs last night?

  3. Captain Death says:

    Now we know what to get Fat Ass for Hannukah.

  4. windbag says:

    They probably turned him down for a job as Senior Managing Editor or Chief Nazi Sniffer Outer or something.

  5. Zeus Crankypants says:

    I noticed something wrong teacher… hey, look at me teacher… I noticed something wrong… the pink is the ghey.

  6. Abu Flash Animations and Milyo says:

    I’ll defer to Charles’ expertise on bicycle safety. A lot of people don’t practice what they preach (read: liberals) but Charles semi-survived his horrendous bike fall of a few years ago and wants to help others from losing their faculties, as Charles did that fateful day.
    penis penis penis lol

    • gizbot7 says:

      Granted, that was complete gibberish, but what was the “qu***” word supposed to stand for? I can only think of one word that starts with “qu” and deserves to be bleeped, but that doesn’t make any sense at all… oh wait.

    • dnd - cuz Chunky no GG b da RACIST! says:

      What’s next? Awarding the Matholymics win to minorities who demonstrate they can’t count? And why are normal, intelligent blacks not speaking out on this? There are many black intellectuals on the left and right and know what debate rules and standards are. Where’s Bill Cosby? For chrissakes he want to college and earned a Dr. of Educ degree and knows race baiting, navel gazing baby talk when he hears it. I suppose he’s tired of being shouted down.

    • Octopus says:

      At first I was like, “WTF, my n******!” Then I read on, and saw it’s some kind of newfangled debate technique that noobs can’t understand. Whatever, kids! That, algebra and $3 will get you a cup of coffee in the Rill World. 🙂

    • Abu (redacted - deleted) 'cause I'm White, mang says:

      I saw the new judging technique used. Bah. That said, this is a full-frontal push for affirmative-action trophy giving to the darkest amongst us. Suddenly skin color DEMANDS THEY keep score, amirite?!?!?!11!!

      wrong wrong wrong lol penis penis pensi lol

      /// All Proggies can toke on the n-word right here, sideways, bitches!

    • Doppel paragraph 18 says:

      I see a few future presidents there, yo

  7. dnd - cuz Chunky no GG b da RACIST! says:

    No helmet and he’s taking the turn on the wrong side of the street.

  8. OLT's A Cute Couple Of What? says:

    Thank God Stalker Charles has this “Bob” fellow to keep him warm on these lonely Twitter nights.

    Maybe he’ll overcome his denial and give up on reaching Pam’s Mountains of Madness.

  9. Looking thru the World’s Greatest Blog Search Engine™, we see that Johnson has wiped out on his bike quite a bit:

    743370 Charles 2004-05-24 10:54:08

    Oh, are we talking bike crashes now? I’ve had some pretty spectacular ones on the road. Never crashed in the mountains, believe it or not, but probably only because I do more road riding.

    My last crash was a doozy. Happened on the bike path in Santa Monica — I sped up to go around a group of really slow walkers who were milling around the path (even though the pedestrian path was three feet away) and put my front wheel into a crack in the pavement. Bike stopped dead. Lizard flew into air over bars, landed on shoulder on hard hard concrete.

    Ended up with a badly bruised rib from that one, but luckily nothing broke. Even my bike was OK, once I straightened the handlebars which had turned 90 degrees. That shoulder now acts up from time to time.

    8475512 Charles 2010-06-25 19:21:29

    The last bike crash I had ended up breaking two ribs.

    Now there’s a tattoo you’ll never forget.

  10. 8475627 Charles 2010-06-25 19:45:48

    The ironic thing about it was that I’ve done insane mountain descents at high speed, more than 50 mph, but this crash happened while going less than 10 mph, because someone stopped in front of me without warning.

  11. 1577051 Charles 2005-04-26 17:23:34

    I used to ride without a helmet. Here’s how I became a believer in them: I was in a crash where I somehow fell backwards, landing on my back and snapping my head hard into the pavement. I was wearing a Bell Evo helmet, their top of the line at the time. And it was cracked all the way through, for 10 inches straight up the back. I learned what they mean by “seeing stars” that day; I almost blacked out, and for a few minutes I was barely present in this world.

    I went to the emergency room for that one, and it turned out the helmet had pretty much saved my life. Or at least, my life as a functioning, thinking human being.

    But the day before the crash, I was wearing only my super comfortable Campagnolo cycling cap.

    If the crash had happened the day before, that ten-inch crack would have been in my skull.

    I now wear the helmet every ride.

  12. 1583739 Charles 2005-04-28 17:11:58

    cba: still pretty sore, actually. But I’ve had much worse crashes.

  13. Just Poop says:

    ” I’ve had friends who died or nearly died because they were stupid enough to listen to people like the morons at Vox ”

    The world needs more Organ donors. These people saved many lives.

    RE: the update

    classic. Another Icarus #fail
    #rumpswab
    #bumf

    penis penis penis LOL

  14. Pakimon says:

    I wish Glenn Greenwald would tweet an offhand remark about bicycle helmets not being necessary just to see Chunkles go completely berserk. 😆

  15. Pakimon says:

    Chunkles should wear a helmet whenever he blogs and tweets.

    Given the amount of times he’s crashed and burned on the interweb, It’d really be a good idea.

    Just trying to be “Mr. Helper”…

  16. Pakimon says:

    Gus always reminds me of the song “Aqualung” by Jethro Tull.

    • Bunk X says:

      He reminds me of this song, except for the part about having a family, a job and being *ahem* average.

  17. rightymouse says:

    Totally OT. This gives new meaning to “raising the bar”. LOL!

    http://thesmokinggun.com/documents/sex-with-atm-machine-456932

  18. Just Poop says:

    New Update

    I found a photo of Charles on his bicycle the other day, and he’s wearing his helmet now

  19. Octopus says:

    I must say, Chunky In Thin Mode Riding His Bike looks ten kinds of queer in the photo above. Not just the pink, which can be fashion-forward in the proper context, but the whole get-up, with the hat turned backward, and all the “I’m a professional cyclist!!1!”-drag. He was a douche then, and he’s a much bigger douche now. 😆

  20. Juan Epstein says:

    WHITE PRIVILEGE FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

  21. Just Poop says:

    Vox poopuli

  22. rightymouse says:

    Well, alrighty then. LOL!

  23. dnd - cuz Chunky no GG b da RACIST! says:

    So Chunk is in favor of a rapist over a racist?? What a woman hating scumbag. For shame!

    My favorite moment of the day: when Julian Assange called Glenn Greenwald a racist. 10 minutes ago

  24. Because late to the twit says:

  25. stabby says:

    Facepalm of the day, CJ defending the recording of an entire country’s cell phone conversations as “legal”.

    In the past I’ve attacked Pamela Geller as a phobic person – but she has some catching up to do. Can anyone ask her if she supports bugging the entire Bahamas?

    • Octopus says:

      Shaddap, Stabby-Poo! You agree with 99% of your own opinions, by your own public reckoning. Sometimes, you post as “Frank Sinclair,” and discuss rectal-invasion of our daughters and wives. That’s pretty cool. Even in your current guise, you are boring and non-helpful. Here, suck on this warm garden hose.

    • frabby stinclair says:

      Ron Jeremy supports buggering the entirety of stabby’s mom’s ass.

  26. stabby says:

    I made it 26 posts down before I gave up on looking for anyone disagreeing with Johnson – they’re all tamed pets and wouldn’t dream of disagreeing.

    Quite a few calling Greenwald a traitor and slavering for punishment though.

    Oh and I left out that Charles called this “record entire countries” program “valuable” as well as “legal”

    God.

  27. stabby says:

    I’m past 70 comments now, not as single person doubting that the Bahamas is a serious threat to the US.

  28. stabby says:

    109 dog philosopher May 19, 2014 4:07:20pm
    re: #107 freetoken

    Meanwhile, actually illegal internet activities happen all around us:

    FBI: BlackShades Infected Half-Million Computers

    It’s amazing how much of this stuff goes on. From earlier this month:

    PHILIPPINES POLICE, INTERPOL BREAK UP “SEXTORTION” RING

    i think in a few years we’ll remember 2014 as an idyllic period before illegal internet activity and invasions of privacy got really bad

    Because recording all cell phone calls in entire countries isn’t a bad invasion of privacy.

    • Octopus says:

      Does this forum feel the need to tolerate a Chunky-sock named “Stabby?” Why?

      Just wondering.

      • Bunk X says:

        Stabby adds color to the dim lit smoke filled barroom. He’s the loud fat chick in fuscia pedal pushers with heels sitting next to the door who nobody listens to.

      • Just Stabby says:

        hear hear !

  29. Bunk X says:

    Riding into oncoming traffic!?

    82 Charles Thu, Aug 28, 2003 6:21:37am
    Thanks for the concern, folks — I always wear a helmet! Well, when I ride my bike, anyway. (I’m not wearing one right now.)

    206 Charles Wed, Feb 23, 2005 7:39:13am
    There are thousands of people on the bike paths here, and when you’re dressed up in cycling gear (helmet, glasses, etc.) it’s awfully hard to recognize people. I’m not too worried about that. But believe me, I am being careful. I appreciate the expressions of concern.

    203 Charles Tue, Apr 26, 2005 5:23:34pm
    I used to ride without a helmet. Here’s how I became a believer in them: I was in a crash where I somehow fell backwards, landing on my back and snapping my head hard into the pavement. I was wearing a Bell Evo helmet, their top of the line at the time. And it was cracked all the way through, for 10 inches straight up the back. I learned what they mean by “seeing stars” that day; I almost blacked out, and for a few minutes I was barely present in this world.

    I went to the emergency room for that one, and it turned out the helmet had pretty much saved my life. Or at least, my life as a functioning, thinking human being.

    But the day before the crash, I was wearing only my super comfortable Campagnolo cycling cap.

    If the crash had happened the day before, that ten-inch crack would have been in my skull.
    I now wear the helmet every ride.

    37 Charles Sat, May 7, 2005 2:19:06pm
    ratherdashing: my route changes all the time, and on any given Saturday, there are thousands of cyclists out, all wearing helmets and sport glasses. It’s hard to even recognize friends.

    By comparison, Theo Van Gogh was riding slowly on a well-known route, and was very recognizable.
    So yes, I do think about it, but I’m not going to change my lifestyle.
    (Also, I wouldn’t be too sure that my route details are always accurate.)

    147 Charles Wed, Dec 17, 2008 10:00:17am
    Looks to me like the Critical Massholes were yelling abuse at the cops (that’s what they do) and the cops lost their tempers. No excuse for assault, though. I think a case could be made for intent to commit murder. I know people who have received fractured skulls from falls exactly like that — wearing helmets.

    Note that one who suffers brain damage is not capable of comprehending one’s mental changes. Diminished cognizance becomes the new normal reality. Words like “milieu” may be mispronounced, yet in the injured’s mind it sounds perfectly normal. Flags may be misinterpreted as nazi propaganda. A restaurant’s menu board may be mistaken for a laptop computer displaying a penis bulge. Even the meanings of words may be misconstrued, like “stalker” vs. “reader,” or “harrassment” vs. “conversation.”

    Obsessive behavior is also typical, as the injured subconsciously focuses on the inane and superficial, attacks and argues about things he has no control over, and in the process attempts to assure himself that he’s fully cogniscent, when in fact he’s known world wide as a full-blown #Rumpswab.

    Charles (or Theo Van Gogh, whoever you think you are) I’m so sorry for you, but I wish you the best.

    • calo says:

      *sigh*

      I think I’m in love with that rant.
      Penis, penis, penis. LOL.

      • ISTE says:

        calo,with your mentality I would have expected you to use the 9yo word for the male sexual organ.

        “willy willy willy giggle” is more your style.

      • Bunk X says:

        It was called a peepee tail.

    • Bunk X says:

      Dang. I didn’t see that Chen had already posted most of those quotes upstairs. I gotta be more patient while crawling through the threads.

      I just read the Vox thread. Note that it’s based on statistics, i.e., science, and Charles denies it. Heh.

  30. Because this never gets old says:

    203 Charles Tue, Apr 26, 2005 5:23:34pm
    I used to ride without a helmet. Here’s how I became a believer in them: I was in a crash where I somehow fell backwards, landing on my back and snapping my head hard into the pavement. I was wearing a Bell Evo helmet, their top of the line at the time. And it was cracked all the way through, for 10 inches straight up the back. I learned what they mean by “seeing stars” that day; I almost blacked out, and for a few minutes I was barely present in this world.

  31. stabby says:

    “Why the Bahamas? Because it’s the obvious place to start the global war on tourism. You are either with us, or you are with the tourists”

    Heh

    • Octopus says:

      Death to Stabs…bleah.

    • Just poop says:

      do us a favor and don’t look up the answer and keep sounding like a twat

      • stabby says:

        Why spy on the Bahamas? I’m sure whoever made that decision didn’t tell his superiors why, as if we’ll ever find out.

        Probably some mafia that infiltrated the NSA wanted to spy on a competitor.

        I’m sure the official reason is something like “we needed a test bed that no one would ever suspect to get practice in spying on whole populations – we spy on everyone TO KEEP YOU SAFE!!”

        And the reason that you’re not denouncing this destruction of privacy is that:
        1) you’re a phobic as Charles Johnson
        2) you think that when they spy on the whole world, they’ll miss your block.
        3) you believe in PRINCIPLE – and that principle is mumble mumble mumble, I forget

  32. Octopus says:

    http://tinyurl.com/p5k6fyq

    George says, “Hey, I love Summer!”

  33. Daedalus says:

    Great post Chen. You deliver the best smackdowns!

  34. poteen2 says:

    You’re an idiot ,Charlie. One of those cute little “Alien” head buckets can’t help you if you’re on the road playing car tag without a car. Go back to Fun with Flags.

    • stabby says:

      Eek, I take from that that even if I could ever afford it, when I get a bike again, it will be an old style steel frame not some super light carbon thing that could fall apart without warning.

  35. johnwiseman17 says:

    I believe I understand the reason for the disconnect. Obviously the picture of Johnson riding his bike through a stop sign while not without his spear and magic helmet is from that brief period in time when he was a staunch Conservative, thereby rendering him an, “irresponsible idiot.” Now that he’s an enlightened Comrade of the Left, he’ll not only wear the helmet, but the tin foil hat underneath, to protect him from the mind control death rays being sent from the Koch Brothers underground secret complex.

  36. dnd - cuz Chunky no GG b da RACIST! says:

    It’s ironic that Chunk is bemoaning risk of massive head injury. After all, it’s what prompted his conversion to the left.

  37. Octopus says:

    Gus? Is that how he hurt his leg?

    You don’t have any other friends. 😦

  38. rightymouse says:

    Here we go again We’re a hate site. LOLOL!

    • livefreeor die says:

      What? Why are they bringing this up again? It makes him look like an idiot!
      I guess any attention is good attention.

      • Octopus says:

        Don’t you see? This was a red-letter day for the fail-blogger-twit, being noticed by Glenn. He can’t let it go!

    • trebob says:

      I thought it was the newspaper that won the Pulitzer not Greenwald. Co-winner? What’s that?

      • Bunk X says:

        As far as I can tell, Greenwald never won a Pulitzer. Perhaps it was a typo for Putzer, but he’s earned that one before.

  39. kbdabear says:

    “You could get killed walking your doggie”

  40. BlogDaddy says:

    Charles’ cognitive dissonance is strong… will he scream vulgar things at this guy too?

    “Cycle helmets are useless, says brain surgeon
    Leading neurosurgeon tells the Hay Festival cycling helmets are ‘too flimsy’ to be beneficial”

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/10866273/Cycle-helmets-are-useless-says-brain-surgeon.html