Update! Update!

I say “Update!” twice because, well, we have updates for TWO classic threads made previously here at DoD!

Are these groundbreaking? Not exactly, but they do encapsulate rather well the lies and general douchebaggery that we’ve come to admire from the one who flew too close to the sun, and that’s what we do here.

First, I’m going to bring us way back to November 2010, to a thread that demonstrates the scope of CJ’s love for the ban-hammer:

The Cursed “LGF Operative”

Within, I summarize the rather high casualty rate among those LGFers who achieved the rare, CJ-bestowed honor of becoming an “LGF Operative”. It’s been a few years, and back then we didn’t have the huge list of those we could confirm as banned commenters. So now, I decided to take a peek and update our list of known LGF Operatives with their confirmed status, with the updates shown in red:

Cursed indeed.

(Note: Obviously folks like Killgore and Gus are still around, but if anyone knows the status of, say, Kasper or Summer, let us know. After all, CJ basically told us that there are thousands more banned that we haven’t confirmed yet.)

Next, we have an update for a thread that is near and dear to all our hearts:

Fact Check: Johnson’s “Saint Pancake” Comment Stood for Years

In this thread, we really showcase the Johnson bullshit machine in its full glory, as we see him go from having to admit that he actually did say “Saint Pancake” (and effectively christening the term that would come to be associated with LGF for years), to doubling down and lying again, stating that….and I quote:

cj pancake deleted quickly

The timestamp! LOL

In any case, we blew that lie out of the sky in epic fashion, noting that the Wayback Machine had caught the “Saint Pancake” comment still sitting there unmolested for a few years after it was posted. It was obviously deleted much more recently, perhaps not long before we actually discovered its existence.

In response to our discovery, Johnson made the move to block the Wayback Machine again, so the best evidence we had was that the comment was still live until at least Feb. 2, 2006. In other words, it got deleted sometime between then and Jan. 2011. That’s the best we could prove.

Today, I can announce that, whether intentional on CJ’s part or not, the Wayback Machine is back! So, I decided to check it out again, tinkering around with the url a bit in the search, and I was able to grab this beautiful specimen of a screenshot:

218822 2007

Just look at it! Comment 218822 complete with updingy buttons and everything. Ahhhh…

Now, after you wipe the tear from your eye you might notice the date the Wayback Machine captured it puts it about a year and a half after our prior screencap, or over 4 years after the comment was posted. That narrows our window a bit further, and reiterates what a laughable load of BS we were shoveled before.

Unfortunately, we probably won’t be able to narrow that window any more than that (barring an admission from Johnson), as at some point shortly afterwards CJ changed the format of his articles, prohibiting webcrawlers from peeking into the comments sections. My theory is that both the comment’s deletion and the original blockage of the Wayback Machine were probably tied to the challenges he was receiving from commenters about the “St. Pancake” term in that Guardian article he penned back in October 2010. He was issuing denials again, but this time well outside the safety of his own site, then scrambled to cover it up once he realized where he was. That’s what I’d wager on.

Oh, and in case CJ decides to block the Wayback Machine from accessing his site yet again, we used the WebCite service and backed up this precious nugget here. Feel free to share with friends and family.

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89 Comments on “Update! Update!”

  1. icekoldebassman says:

    The TRVTH is out there, somewhere.

  2. Octopus says:

    For someone as inextricably-linked to the internet as his life has been, he sure does seem to be stupefyingly dense about its properties of eternal factcheckery. Also, he’s a big, fat fucking liar.

    Good ones, Chen. As usual. 🙂

    • Arachne says:

      The Wayback Machine has exposed Fatass twice — the Rathergate gif and St. Pancake.

      • stabby says:

        What was Charles exposed on on the Rathergate thing?

        I was in that original thread, I even made my own version of the throbbing gif using MS Word and a fax printer driver.

        I suppose you must be saying that he wasn’t the first to notice the MS Word thing… And I don’t remember what he said about where the info came from or whether he thought it up himself.

      • Octopus says:

        You know all about it, “Frank.” If that is even your real name.

      • Octopus says:

        I was in that original thread, I even made my own version of the throbbing gif using MS Word and a fax printer driver.

        So full of shit, he is. 😆

      • Medchemmer says:

        I think Stabby also invented the internet, but he’s probably too modest to admit that.

    • OLT's Find Your Pannus, Only One Dollar says:

      I wouldn’t bet on the “fucking” part.

      • Octopus says:

        I wouldn’t bet on the “fucking” part.

        And yet, there are a number of side-bets you can lay down during his Donkey Show performance. I’m not going to name them, because it’s shameful enough that I even know of them.

  3. Pakimon says:

    Time for today’s episode of “How Many Tweets Does It Take To Get To the Center of a Nontroversy?”

    Let’s find out!

    One.

  4. Octopus says:

    I think he’s got Sterling and Bundy 69-ing each other in his dim little brain, while he and the donkey smoke a post-coital cigarette, handing it back and forth in such a quaint and cozy little way. Under his pannus, a Mexican donkey-wrangler naps fitfully.

  5. stabby says:

    Ok, I just searched and found the Daedalus thread on Charles NOT having made the throbbing memo. If the other guy’s gif looks the same as the one Charles posted then it probably IS the one Charles posted.

    I made my own gif from MS word and it wasn’t identical to Charles- Microsoft has tons of versions of that font which shipped with different versions of Windows, and it matters exactly what dpi you print to as well. My version wasn’t quite as close to the memo (you could see more kerning differences).

    • stabby says:

      Also I think I used photoshop to rotate the original for best fit which was also necessary …
      Yeah, if the gifs look the same, they have to be the same gif.

      • Arachne says:

        Actually the BRC analyzed the two and there are subtle differences between the two. But the one at Pacetown was published first.

    • Octopus says:

      Nice try, Chunky-Stabs, but we busted that myth years ago. Your “kerning differences” all belong to us. 😆

      • stabby says:

        You’re a fucking moron.

        The fit was too close to be anything but a forgery.

        I’m just saying that Charles didn’t recreate that other guy’s gif, he stole it.

        Too bad you can’t understand English you drooling troll.

      • stabby says:

        The difference with mine were probably mostly caused by printing at 200 dpi (it was fax driver to tiff file)

      • frabby stinclair says:

        Ron Jeremy bangs stabby’s mom at 200 dpi with his “fax” driver (right in her “tiff file”)

    • I’m pretty sure CJ’s gif is not the same as Chrysler’s gif.

      It appears that CJ was simply trying to duplicate the results, and then took all the credit.

      • Octopus says:

        Sorry, Chen, but Frabby Stinkclair says they are the same gif. Have to be. His integrity is nonpareil. Impeccable.

      • stabby says:

        I was just relying on Daedalus’ post which said they look the same, you father fellating moron.

      • Arachne says:

        I noticed that he used the same memo that Pacetown used. My thought was he used that one because he knew it would work.

      • stabby says:

        He printed side by side versions a day or half a day before he had the throbbing one.

      • stabby says:

        So yeah, everyone assumed that he’d made the throbbing ones from the side by side ones himself.

      • Arachne says:

        I also noted when I authored the original thread that there’s a subtle use of language in the throbbing memo post. He said “here’s an animated .gif” instead of “I’ve created..” which would leave him some wiggle room if someone pointed out the Pacetown original. He could have said ” oh goodness me I forgot to publish the link” if you get my drift.

      • frabby stinclair says:

        Ron Jeremy gives stabby’s mom a “throbbing one” every day right in her keister.

  6. Arachne says:

    Fatass was not the first to have the throbbing memo. He published it two days AFTER it appeared on a website he knew about and tried to maintain the fiction that he broke the Rathergate story. He didn’t. He wasn’t the first to do the type in default settings either. It had been done by the same site an hour earlier and others had
    Already said they had tried it.

  7. OLT's Buy A Mirror, Stalker Charles says:

  8. Octopus says:

    He doesn’t understand irony any better than he does the internet’s memory, or writing non-bugfucked code.

  9. OLT's Through The Looking Glass, Everyone Has A Memo says:

    I see we’re having a little Donkey Show here right now. That’s my cue to slide out the door as unobtrusively as possible and run like the Hounds of the Baskervilles are on my heels.

    There’s only one thing I can tell you for certain in today’s world of smoke and mirrors which has been digitized, falsified, and unconfirmed in a 24/7 repetition of fluid facts and solid lies, and that’s that you should NEVER go to the Donkey Show.

    • Octopus says:

      Isn’t it okay to go on Gringa Night? If you bring your own popskull-mescal?

      • OLT's God, I Hate The Side Stage says:

        Speaking of milking a zonkey, our little burro biter is morphing into his one-note sex act.

      • OLT's God, I Hate The Side Stage says:

        My sexual fantasies involve women, not people’s fathers, but to each his own, no matter how disgusting it is to those of us who don’t spend hot hazy afternoons sauced out of our minds watching an equine profane itself.

        But I will warn you again that Tha Devil Hisself invented the Donkey Show, and it serves his purposes only. Whatever it promises you is a lie, no matter how much truth you find in it. Whatever it gives will be taken, along with everything else it can carry, and one day you’ll be hanging your harp on a willow (supposing that you survive the fall and exile), knowing that there’s no way back to where you didn’t know what you know now and had not seen what you should not have, even if a man could crawl back into the womb and be born again (despite the fact that most of us have already spent our adult lives trying or at least playing around on the front porch) and one day, I can’t say when, all the barkers and front men and everyone else who sold the Donkey Show will be rewarded with the bitter and slightly overripe fruits of their labors and it’s a known fact that most of us do not want what we really deserve.

      • Octopus says:

        So you’re saying the sidewalk barkers lack integrity? That their come-on is a siren-song sung in fractured Spanglish, designed to appeal to the mescal-infected reptile brains of unlucky tourists?

        Boy, they sure don’t put that in the brochures. Not surprising, I guess, since they also fail to mention the cartel’s penchant for beheading the luckless.

      • Octopus says:

        Speaking of milking a zonkey, our little burro biter is morphing into his one-note sex act.

        I was hoping he’d bring out Frank, to administer the stronger imprecations. I miss Frank. Got right to the point, that guy.

  10. Back on topic…

    I suppose it is possible that CJ deleted the “Pancake” comment after his NYT feature (Jan. 2010) since that did mention the term as well:

    …The posthumous nickname St. Pancake was coined for the young American pro-Palestinian activist Rachel Corrie, in reference to the Israeli bulldozer that killed her….

    But I’m still going with the Guardian theory.

    • OLT's Useful Idiots, Some Less So says:

      We have topics? I thought we had topic.

      Oh, crap. Well, I’ll state publicly that I not only have I used the term “St. Pancake”, I will not apologize or lie about it, like Stalker Charles. That’s sort of on this topic. Oh, and also unlike Stalker Charles, I’ve never been a stalker or engaged in stalking behavior (like doxing people, or “outing” them in other ways).

      So, Rachel Corrie is and will always be St. Pancake to me, and you’re still a lying stalking asshole, Stalker Charles.

      /And the midnight run of Killgore happened with your support.

      All your lies are belong to us.

    • Daedalus says:

      I agree with your Guardian theory.

  11. trebob says:

    Wow, how jacked up is word-press today? 🙂 Still no comments #s or quotes?

    They pick up some of Charles’ coding tips recently?

  12. OLT's Never Go says:

    The quote button, she no quote for me.

    Anyhoo, my dear Ocky, the barkers are all you say and worse, and there are Hells reserved even worse than the scalding stinking sidewalks in all the Tijuanas of the world, more littered, more reeking of urine and vomit and all the other sloppy evidences of man’s existence that don’t usually get burned to create electricity like so many buckets of aborted fetuses, even in some ways worse than the trackless shadeless flint-scented deserts a man creates in his own mind when he first seeks to gain by joining the Donkey Show rather than running from it as his mama taught him at the breast and worse than that accepts as the price of his golden collar (made of cheapest store-bought slave-produced linen and cotton flimsy that a bird wouldn’t peck for the humblest nest) the task of luring others in that shadowed and grimy door, as it were weaning them from the teat of human kindness and setting them (however willingly and feet rushing) on the path to regret and ruination although many times without the regret. No, Ocky, the Donkey Show is the work of the Enemy and anything with a soul that partakes will find that soul stained, shrunk, sanded, and soured beyond the hope of man or Man (or woman for that matter) and again I will tell you and it has always been clear to anyone that would open an eye or prick up an ear that wrong is wrong and that the barker and the door are warnings as clear as a barn fire on a cold dead starless night. Never go to the Donkey Show and although God forgives sinners there will be no redemption for those who lost themselves and then sought to lose others.

  13. Arachne says:

    Genuine question here: Did Chuck ever refer to either “LGF Watch” or “Discarded Lies” as stalker sites. I had to leave due to Rather but I don’t recall use of the term stalker.

  14. Abu oyliM says:

    Kick-ass work, Chen! Thanks for turning up the heat.

    • These threads are my favorite because all the fact-checking, screencapping, wayback sleuthing, memory hole excavating, etc. stuff was what LGF and CJ was known for…things I learned about there.

      Now coming back to haunt.

  15. Minnow says:

    Barry the lying liar. Barry the self-absorbed attention whore. Barry the whiny little non-achieving piece of shit.

  16. Octopus says:

    A cautionary tale for Dear Fatass…the similarities in life-story are uncanny. Gus, you should take some notes as well.

    http://www.freep.com/article/20140428/NEWS04/304280161/portable-toilet-homeless-man

  17. Octopus says:

    Today’s Question: What are you offended by?

    Pat has some ideas…

    • OLT's Never Go says:

      And starts with two horrible examples.

      (Was it only a couple days ago that Cliven Bundy said blacks would be better off picking cotton as slaves? And only last June Paula Deen admitted using the “N” word?)

      A. That’s not what Bundy said. What he said was dumb enough without the distortion.
      B. Please add the age and circumstance of Deen’s transgression. Exactly.

      Overall. Kareem is right and the author of the article needs to practice writing.

      • Octopus says:

        What about the NAACP award for lifetime achievement he was fixin’ to accept, presumably from some smelly colored people? Nobody has been mentioning that, since the tape broke.

        As for all the racism that supposedly engulfs the country, which is still “enjoying” the honeymoon of having elected a naked Unicorn Messiah with no experience whatsoever in governing to successive terms, who happens to have a Muslim name and a very sketchy, Communist-inflected upbringing…yeah, we’re pretty intolerant. Go fuck yourselves, Outrage-Porn People. 😆

      • iSpeakJive says:

        They remind me of the temperance ladies. All sniffing with superiority and moral preening.

      • Octopus says:

        They make you want a drink, too. 😆

  18. d&d says:

    And another thing…..

    • Octopus says:

      Nailed it again, Pat!

      It isn’t hard to foresee a not-too-distant future where people like Pat will be incarcerated or worse for speaking such truth. Every day, a little bit closer to a totalitarian state.