Charles Summons the Mighty Lizard Army

In the throes of yet another anti-Greenwald snit, Charles sent out a call to action for all loyal lizards to help him spread the word throughout the land.
tweetpowerAnd the amazing part is, all 12 of them did.

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127 Comments on “Charles Summons the Mighty Lizard Army”

  1. rightymouse says:

    Charles Johnson = screeching homophobe.

  2. trebob says:

    OK, that’s some funny stuff right there. I went and looked and that tweet still has only 12 retweets. He’s even bleated out a couple of ICYMI that only garnered single digit retweets between them.

    Echo chamber indeed. JamJam has got to be Charles, there’s no one else left over there.

    😆

    • rightymouse says:

      Twelve retweets. Pathetic. Must be what we’ve suspected for a while. That there are about a dozen active posters & socks.

      • Arachne says:

        He seems to get something like 5 retweets automatically. My guess is his sock accounts have been busy.

  3. Reminds me of when he was calling on the army to defend him over on Digg.

    God that must have been humiliating for him.

  4. rightymouse says:

    It’s sneauxing here in my corner of NE Ohio. Am going to toddle off and suck my thumb.

    • Abu says:

      *air hug* from a fellow Midwesterner. Had to brush 1′ of snow off the car this morning. I keep telling myself golf is just around the corner but,…

      • Octopus says:

        Just occasional flurries all day today with no accumulation, but it’s durn cold. Going to 11 tonight. Warmening is some cold ass shit!

  5. Abu says:

    All 12 posters/socks came out to support Jazzy McDumbass. L.O.L.

    • Octopus says:

      The Eleven Plus Jam-Jam, who is either Chunky, his brother, or one of ours. 😆

      • whatjamjamloves says:

        If jamjam is one of ours, then the true beauty will be when he reveals that the chunkster.

      • Arachne says:

        Nah, I can’t see Michael doing that. He probably spends most of his day in the “facepalm” position.

  6. whatjamjamloves says:

    Old men with ponies that wear orange britches
    A fat angry loser that constantly bitches
    Posting musicians that can’t really sing
    The are a few of jamjam’s favorite things

    Gus is interred in his sister’s gara-age
    Chuck eats his Cheetos he’s getting quite la-arge
    The V dub bus he’s stolen now has many dings
    These are a few of jamjam’s favorite things.

    • whatjamjamloves says:

      Weasel the porn queen, femnazi the ha-ag
      Furious Burka’s like Arafat in dra-ag
      In fatass’ bathtub you’ll find many rings
      These are a few of jamjam’s favorite things

      When no one links
      When no one cares
      What you have to say
      I simply remember my favorite things
      And laugh at jews and gays

      • Because Eww. says:

        Arafat in drag? Ew. That’s grosser than the megapannus.

      • d says:

        Moonbats and sycophants all of them smitten
        By Chunky’s tirades and screeds that he’s written
        Smug, sanctimonious, Chunk thinks he’s king
        These are a few of jamjam’s favorite things.

        Jazzy’s poor LGF terrorized poodles
        Dumbells and dimbulbs with off kilter noodles
        Chunk’s double standards, insults and ravings
        These are a few of jamjam’s favorite things.

        Chunk turned financial success into ruin
        Like Keppler the scientist Chunk is a shoo in
        For the most ethically consistent man
        And never mind that he stole George Duke’s van

        When the salmon,
        Just won’t thaw out
        When Chunk’s called a cad
        Jamjam simply thinks of his favorite things
        And then he don’t feel so bad.

        -From The Sound Of Mooing (aka LGF)

    • Bunk X says:

      When the Chuck farts
      Many Twee-tings,
      When he’s reeling mad,
      He’ll simply recall jamjam’s favorite dings
      And pretend to be Greeeeen-wald’s dad.

  7. Bunk X says:

    😀

    4 Testy Toad T Mon, Mar 24, 2014 10:57:52am
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    Takes a devoted loyalist hypocrite shill to know a devoted loyalist hypocrite shill.

  8. Because Third time's a charm says:

    Tha-ree!

  9. whatjamjamloves says:

    Charles Johnson
    ‏@Green_Footballs
    Certainly makes abstinence easier. @Kragar_LGF
    Reply Retweet Favorite More
    FAVORITE
    1
    Neal Boyd
    5:43 PM – 25 Mar 2014

    submitted without additional comment

  10. Octopus says:

    …or until they are so passe they are thrown away into the trash, where you will pick up that free market bargain faster than Chunky diving for the last Cheeto. You can’t even afford a TV, much less any fancy gaming equipment. 😆

    • Because says:

      Besides, there’s no juice in the garage. He has to pedal his generator-bike to surf the net.

  11. whatjamjamloves says:

    A bit OT but Bill Nye just basically said that flight 370 was some kind of nefarious act on CNN. What will Chunk and Gus do?

  12. whatjamjamloves says:

    http://littlegreenfootballs.com/page/306770_Donald_Rumsfeld-_A_Trained_Ape

    He sees this as racist but nothing about the fact his tighty whities are perpetually in blackface.

    7 Charles Johnson
    Tue, Mar 25, 2014 12:57:03pm
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    Is it even remotely possible that Rumsfeld was totally unaware of the racist implications in a statement like this?

    Highly doubtful.

    • iSpeakJive says:

      Where do black people come from Chunky? Not from a “stinking monkey”, I guess, unlike you who readily admits that you are.

      • Octopus says:

        I saw on TV tonight where the black semi-celebrity Ray J (screwed Kim Kardashian in the video that made her famous) called a black woman he was feuding with on Twitter, “like something out of “Planet Of The Apes.” http://www.bet.com/news/music/2014/03/25/ray-j-likens-cyberbully-to-planet-of-the-apes-character.html

        In fact, I have mostly heard black people calling each other apes, gorillas and other simian names. I remember Redd Foxx saying a black woman on the show was “so ugly, you could use her face to make gorilla cookies.” Lots of laughs!

        Humans are apes, so it shouldn’t even be that much of an insult, but of course I understand why it is. Let’s just not be afraid to note where the great majority of the insults are coming from, and, as usual, it’s black-on-black.

      • iSpeakJive says:

        Oh jeeze. I remember that when it aired. It was a running joke in our family for YEARS.

        http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5qzRSU2NWmE

    • d says:

      Because Don Rumsfeld is a well-known racist. Chunky has the evidence in his sekret Nazi files.

  13. Octopus says:

    For Chunky, a way to make some much-needed cash, and also put some spice in the old stanky boudoir: http://www.thefrisky.com/2014-03-25/how-to-empower-yourself-through-diy-porn/

    I bet there’s a market for old ponytailed pannus penis, performing solo. A very selective audience, but you can find them. We’ll help, with tweets promoting your act. Not me, personally, but I know some people. Got this one guy, tweets all day from his sister’s garage. Works for vodka/sterno/Ripple. In that order.

  14. Octopus says:

    Obamacare a “cascade of failures,” and pretty well doomed: https://www.uschamber.com/blog/obamacare-cascade-failures

    The Unicorn Messiah’s signature piece of legislation. Perfect symbol of his disastrous administration.

  15. Bunk X says:

  16. MInnow says:

    wasn’t it established that AngryBlackLady was actually HoosierHoops?

    Not that it matters really…. but I am curious.

  17. MInnow says:

    but more importantly…. why in the fuck should employers be purchasing birth control for their employees? What is wrong with the average employee in this country? Such expectations of entitlement!? If you don’t like it – go start your own business loser.

  18. Octopus says:

    Pledged: 500 pfennigs to the person who can innocently asketh, and receiveth an honest answer, the reason for Chunky McDumbth’s abandonment of his bicycle-based fitness program. Yes, we know he was once arrested for riding the bike without a bicycle seat mounted to the greased seat-pole, but we really don’t want to get into that.

      • iSpeakJive says:

        I think I remember that show. The sound of the British police sirens was always strange, and the guy would think he escaped only to open a door and be right back in the same place. Totally creepy.

    • d says:

      I used to watch that show as a kid. Never could tell what the hell was going on.

      • Bunk X says:

        The show creeped me right out. The underlying paranoia of “The Village” was great.

      • Octopus says:

        I don’t remember that being on as a kid, but it would have been on PBS in my area. I was tuned into Monty Python and Benny Hill, and other British shows just didn’t make the cut. As an adult, my nerd-nephew who knows every line of dialogue from Doctor Who tried to get me into The Prisoner, but I never took the plunge. Looked too hokey or something.

  19. Pakimon says:

    No, THIS is the worlds happiest plane. Ever. 😆

    • Arachne says:

      Over 1.000 retweets….see what happens when you gives the peeps what they want, FATASS? And no ICYMI for this guy!

    • Octopus says:

      The red plane is WAY happier. No contest. The other plane is only happy ‘cuz it has its head up its ass, like Chunky.

  20. whatjamjamloves says:

    BEAUTIFUL

    d :
    Moonbats and sycophants all of them smitten
    By Chunky’s tirades and screeds that he’s written
    Smug, sanctimonious, Chunk thinks he’s king
    These are a few of jamjam’s favorite things.
    Jazzy’s poor LGF terrorized poodles
    Dumbells and dimbulbs with off kilter noodles
    Chunk’s double standards, insults and ravings
    These are a few of jamjam’s favorite things.
    Chunk turned financial success into ruin
    Like Keppler the scientist Chunk is a shoo in
    For the most ethically consistent man
    And never mind that he stole George Duke’s van
    When the salmon,
    Just won’t thaw out
    When Chunk’s called a cad
    Jamjam simply thinks of his favorite things
    And then he don’t feel so bad.
    -From The Sound Of Mooing (aka LGF)

  21. Because science or something says:

    Octopus :
    I saw on TV tonight where the black semi-celebrity Ray J (screwed Kim Kardashian in the video that made her famous) called a black woman he was feuding with on Twitter, “like something out of “Planet Of The Apes.” http://www.bet.com/news/music/2014/03/25/ray-j-likens-cyberbully-to-planet-of-the-apes-character.html
    In fact, I have mostly heard black people calling each other apes, gorillas and other simian names. I remember Redd Foxx saying a black woman on the show was “so ugly, you could use her face to make gorilla cookies.” Lots of laughs!
    Humans are apes, so it shouldn’t even be that much of an insult, but of course I understand why it is. Let’s just not be afraid to note where the great majority of the insults are coming from, and, as usual, it’s black-on-black.

    Actually, humans aren’t apes. We’re homos. Homos and apes both descended from a common ancestor. If you’re a homophobe, you’re misanthropic.

    • d says:

      True dat. We’re all descended from an ape-like ancester probably around 10 million yrs ago. Split off from chimps about 6 mil yrs ago. All living humans are modern homo sapiens. The races are just ethnic differences. I always felt racism meant viewing one ethnic type as actually superior to others ie racial supremecism. But now it means you criticized the Preezydent or something.

      • rightymouse says:

        Or said that his wife has a fat ass.

      • Octopus says:

        Wikipedia says I’m right, tho:

        Hominidae consists of orangutans, gorillas, chimpanzees, bonobos and humans.[1][2] Alternatively, the hominidae family are collectively described as the great apes.[3][4][5][6] There are two extant species in the orangutan genus (Pongo), two species in the gorilla genus, and a single extant species Homo sapiens in the human genus (Homo). Chimpanzees and bonobos are closely related to each other and they represent the two species in the genus Pan.
        Members of the superfamily are called hominoids (not to be confused with the family of “hominids” – great apes, the subfamily of hominines, the tribe of “hominins” aka the human clade, or the subtribe of hominans).
        Some or all hominoids are also called “apes”. However, the term “ape” is used in several different senses. It has been used as a synonym for “monkey” or for any tailless primate with a humanlike appearance.[7] Thus the Barbary macaque, a kind of monkey, is popularly called the “Barbary ape” to indicate its lack of a tail. Biologists have used the term “ape” to mean a member of the superfamily Hominoidea other than humans,[3] or more recently to mean all members of the superfamily Hominoidea, so that “ape” becomes another word for “hominoid”.[6][8] See also Primate: Historical and modern terminology.

      • Because says:

        Damn consensus always changing its mind.

      • d says:

        Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle. 😀

      • Octopus says:

        I’m interested in finding out more about Neanderthals, who were apparently absorbed into the human line through interbreeding. I look at pics of Neanderthals like the one in this article, and I recognize people I’ve known over the years. Seriously, those features are very familiar.

        http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2014/01/140129-neanderthal-genes-genetics-migration-africa-eurasian-science/

  22. Because says:

  23. whatjamjamloves says:

    Holy shit, did Gus just jump the shark?
    “Said regional power also appears to be calling a lot of the new shots in the Middle East. Including influencing Iran nuke talks.”

    Will Chunky forgive him his sins? Will Chunky follow suit? Will Chunky eat a bag of Cheetos, lift his left ass cheek, fart into his hand, sniff it and smile? Enquiring minds want to know.

  24. Because Culver City creepy clown not marketing anything says:

    • Octopus says:

      People who are afraid of clowns are kind of pussy-ish, unless the clown is John Gacy. Then, run.

  25. Because Obamacare is wunnerful, wunnerful, wunnerful says:

    • whatjamjamloves says:

      I’m telling you, he’s hedging all bets. He’s very capable of another “Why I parted ways…” moment. It will work as well as his last one did, but he will try it.

      • Octopus says:

        If he does abandon the Left, he won’t go back to the Right. He’ll just declare himself a Moderate, or some shit. Yeah, that won’t work, either.

        He’s got nuthin’ anyone wants. Not newsworthy, not smart, not funny, not popular with any group, and basically just a nerd with a modem who once lucked into a phenomenon, and like a fool who wins the lottery, he pissed it all away in no time.

        But we still dig ya, baby. 🙂

      • whatjamjamloves says:

        That’s why he’s pissed at Greenwald. Greenwald “stole” his game. He may have to double down on stupid too. Maybe leap into support for boycott of Israel? Go full occupy?

    • Juan Epstein says:

      U.S. ?

  26. Because Cheetos says:

  27. Because Greenwald Greenwald Greenwald lol says:

    • Because is criticism of MSNBC allowed? says:

      • Arachne says:

        Really Gus. Let’s see — people pay attention to Mighty Greenwald. Including MSNBC, CNN and other national liberal press.

        People scroll over your tweets in their timeline, reminding themselves to unfollow you.

      • whatjamjamloves says:

        What?!?!?!?! Even after the PDA Chunk showered Rachel with? That tripled their viewership. He even gave away her book to his 1 trillionth poster. WTF is wrong with people. No sense of loyalty. Now Chunky’s gonna have to retweet Al Jazeera.

    • Arachne says:

      Maybe so, Fatass, but on the virtue scale – he’s still head and shoulders above YOU.

    • Octopus says:

      Said the Foul Master Of Vitriolic Rants, who is also obsessed with hounding gay Jewish men, and hates women.

      • whatjamjamloves says:

        But but but, he loves loves da ladys. That’s why he supports free abortion and birth control. He really does. If only one of those hip womyn he raps with on twitter would give him a shot, you’d see, he be really good to her. He’s sensitive. He’s not like the others.

      • Octopus says:

        He hates women so much, it comes through loud and clear no matter which side of the aisle he’s talking about. Women, Jews and gays. Jewish women? Oy, vey. Gay Jewish men? Oy, gevalt. HATEHATEHATE!!!1!

  28. Arachne says:

    Wondering out loud what creative reasoning Harry Reid is going to use to blame the Koch Brothers in light of the revelation that he misused campaign funds by giving $$ to granddaugher

    • d says:

      He had to because he’s not a filthy rich corrupt greedy evil scumbag like the Koch brothers. He’s just a moderately rich corrupt greedy evil scumbag.

    • rightymouse says:

      My boss (a registered Dem) received a fund-raising letter from Harry Reid that blathered about the evils of the Koch Brothers. Boss had some vague idea who they were but rremained genuinely puzzled by Reid’s spittle-flecked screed. No $$$$ for him!!!! 🙂

  29. Because whose phone line did Goose tap into? says:

    • Octopus says:

      You don’t get much talk-time out of the discarded burners tossed away by drug dealers and cheating spouses, but it’s good enough for your purposes, in the garage. Stop whining!

  30. Because LGF says:

  31. Because yeah, that's about the size of it, Goosy. says:

    • Juan Epstein says:

      Boston too

    • trebob says:

      From the AP article Drudge linked to:

      “In the 30 years I have been researching schools, New York state has consistently been one of the most segregated states in the nation – no Southern state comes close to New York,” Orfield said.

      Other states with highly segregated schools include Illinois, Michigan and California, according to the Civil Rights Project.

      Suck it Charles/Gus!

  32. whatjamjamloves says:

    Shorter Gus:
    DERP.

    Good job son, you answered your own question.

  33. whatjamjamloves says:

    I wish Chunk or Gas would tell me what the fuck the president is trying to say right now.

    • whatjamjamloves says:

      Thankfully. Now I get it.

      24 Gus
      Wed, Mar 26, 2014 10:43:37am
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      The audience is interesting. It’s as quiet as a church. They’re all very engaged by the president.

      • Arachne says:

        Hey Gus – you may want to watch the video of his presser yesterday where only ONE person applauded when it was over.

  34. Arachne says:

    Octopus :

    If he does abandon the Left, he won’t go back to the Right. He’ll just declare himself a Moderate, or some shit. Yeah, that won’t work, either.

    He’s got nuthin’ anyone wants. Not newsworthy, not smart, not funny, not popular with any group, and basically just a nerd with a modem who once lucked into a phenomenon, and like a fool who wins the lottery, he pissed it all away in no time.

    But we still dig ya, baby. 🙂

    Indeed. What happened here is Jazzy discovered that his operative reality was wrong. I’ve no doubt he consoled himself that the failure of the Swamp to generate any new interest on the left was simply because it was a large market and it would take time. In truth, while MarKKKos would tweet him from time to time (after which you would like Jazzy had received an invitation to the royal wedding), the left blogosphere basically went back to ignoring him. Even that silly, self-serving screed about leaving the right generated more interest from Dennis Prager than it did from anyone else.

    And here comes Greenwald, starting up his own left site and as it turns out the lefty webisphere isn’t all that crowded after all – lot of hits and lots of attention. So Twitter boy tries to bask in the sunlight by sticking said blog owner with a pointy stick, praying for notice (he was doing that to every right-wing talk show host at one time, to the same effect – no one paid scant attention).

    And all in all, even on Twitter he isn’t much of a success. He hasn’t cracked 10,000 followers, and even lesser bloggers and pundits have more followers – Greenwald has over a quarter million. Even Andy Brietbart, who has been dead two years, got 60,000 new followers AFTER his death.

    • Octopus says:

      It’s really kind of sad watching him desperately flail about like he does, especially when you think back to when he seemed like a nice, quiet, modest fellow who was actively concerned about the real issues facing the country. He’s fallen so far, in every way. And then he goes and writes the jammy love-letter to himself, and posts it where everyone can see, and point and laugh? I mean, there aren’t many of us paying attention, but still…have some dignity in your old age, Fatass.

      • Arachne says:

        I imagine Johnson finds more irritation in any posts containing a reasoned analysis of his desperation and attention-whoring than any of the two-line mocking posts we do here. He didn’t realize how much he missed the spotlight until he became aware that he no longer occupied it. I’m sure he believed that whole conversion to the liberal viewpoint was going to garner blog headlines, maybe even get mentioned on CNN or MSNBC. In the beginning he flailed at Pam, at Spencer, at Breitbart, at any semi-national target he could. No effect. Starts attacking the right-wing talk radio hosts. Nary a mention. No luck there. Fox News? Nope. Meanwhile, his comment count lags and no new signups. Why would they go to the Swamp when Kos, DU, and FireDogLake are still around.

        I was also very surprised when BlogTalkRadio came online – you could get a show for free. Even the less than national bloggers were doing a radio show. Why didn’t Johnson? He’s certainly shown no reticence about going on the air. I imagine it’s because he knew no one would call and those that did would sound like idiotic sycophants. Couldn’t give his critics further food.

        But I’m sure he thought he struck gold with the Wiener story. At last – his big chance to stand out from the crowd and stick up for Wiener (no, there is NO pun intended there) and what does Breitbart do? Gets NATIONAL press on networks and cable when that fool Wiener is late to his press conference and Andy was asked to address press questions. That should have been Charles, don’t you know? He should have been the one the press was coming to. And then he was totally beclowned by his ridiculous tweets and a menuboard in front of a restaurant.

        The left doesn’t want him or need him. They want nothing to do with someone who has lost all credibility.

  35. rightymouse says:

    Poor Charlie must have been getting his groove on……

    • trebob says:

      A “major” speech? LOL

    • d says:

      Well no worries. Once he fixes the Climate Change LA won’t need no stinkin’ weather tests.

    • Arachne says:

      Yeah, because the speech he gave yesterday resulted in ONE individual clapping – and in such a half hearted manner it sounded more like he was grateful as spit that Obama was finished talking.

  36. Because cheetos are in danger says:

    • Voltaire's Crack says:

      Iowa Dem. Senate candidate runs on a platform of looking down on Iowa farmers who, unlike him, are not trial lawyers.

    • whatjamjamloves says:

      She would never even think of banging him, therefore she earns his derision.

      • Octopus says:

        Joni would see him waddling and snuffling along, rooting for Cheetos, and she might castrate the hog, reflexively. If she can find anything under all that porky pannus, I mean.

      • Arachne says:

        Yeah, if I were Johnson I would SERIOUSLY worry about a candidate versed in hog castration.

      • Because says:

        Ever notice that normal looking women drive the likes of Chunk around the bend? His idea of a ‘woman’ is Rachel Mancow.

  37. d says:

    Another denier. Poor Chunky. Looks more and more like a moonbat Koolaid drinker with every passing day. And this professor looks like a young hippy. Not some stodgy old grumbler doing science with a slide rule and a pencil.

    UK professor refuses to put his name to ‘apocalyptic’ UN climate change survey that he claims is exaggerating the effects
    -Prof Richard Tol said UN academics were exaggerating climate change
    -Comes as a blow to the UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change
    -Panel to publish its first update in seven years on the impacts of climate change.

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2589424/UK-professor-refuses-apocalyptic-UN-climate-change-survey.html#ixzz2x69tbWx7
    Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2589424/UK-professor-refuses-apocalyptic-UN-climate-change-survey.html

  38. OLT's Run, Pig, Run says:

  39. OLT's Harrumph! says:

    Arachne :
    I imagine Johnson finds more irritation in any posts containing a reasoned analysis of his desperation and attention-whoring than any of the two-line mocking posts we do here.

    Sure, denigrate my entire life’s work.

    • trebob says:

      But, two-line mocking is good too. Particularly if it’s a little dickish.

    • Arachne says:

      What happened to my reply? Where I said I was your biggest fan???

      • Octopus says:

        The one and two-line shots are the bread and butter of this board. Yes, there is certainly a deeper, more sober consideration to be made of a man who lucked into a very good thing, and then, through the classic fatal flaw of hubris, complicated by rampant assholishness, lost it all.

        We’ve had some very good discussions of all that, including Arachne’s above. It’s a lot of pathos to deal with, though, if you take it seriously. The mockery makes it funner.

        I don’t know about you, but in this economy, with all the fallout from the worst, unmitigated-disaster of a presidency in American history, I need the laffs.