Malaysian Airways flight MH370

So far Charles Johnson has not advanced a theory into the missing Malaysian Airways flight MH370. Being the great Sage of Culver City, the world awaits his theory.


221 Comments on “Malaysian Airways flight MH370”

  1. Pakimon says:

    This latest poll is looking more spiffy than usual.

    I wish I could’ve chosen “All of the Above” . 😆

  2. HaikuMan says:

    Where’s “Global Warming”?
    That causes all things ever.
    Penȋ͚̾̾s Penȋ͚̾̾s LOL

    • KGB says:

      I’m with you. Climage Change is surely the only answer. To that end, I’ll have to vote for Big Tobacco, an industry that rapes Mother Gaia on its way to creating income inequality.

      Also, there’s only one bête noire on the left right now and it’s the Koch brothers. They need to be represented here.

  3. Al-Cheezeera says:

    All of the above, and that rodeo clown who dressed like Obama.

  4. Medchemmer says:

    They were Nazis dude?

  5. Arachne says:

    Harry Reid will have a sad……

  6. Octopus says:

    All good bogeymen, but Greenwald gets it in the end.

  7. LGFiscrap says:

    He will NOT blame: Terrorists (unless they’re white supremacists or can in some way be linked to them), any Moselm country or actor, or anything that goes against anything the Obama administration says. This will become more of a challenge however, even HuffPo is starting to turn around on this.

    Most likely, he will try to pin it on some kind of personal issue a la Silk Air-anything to protect Curious’ feelings.

    • Arachne says:

      And yet it is looking more and more like it may very well be terrorism. They were dismissive earlier I noticed because the guys that swiped the passports and financed by an Iranian businessman “were not a match to a terror list.” Uh, they’re recruiting all the time, you twits – I would assume that the al-Qaeda hierarchy would first and foremost use unknown recruits for monstrous incidents like this. I’m not saying it’s terrorism out of hand, but geez, can we get a little analytical thinking going on instead of “oh, well, not on the list.”

      • LGFiscrap says:

        When Hasan committed terrorism at Fort Hood, the gov said immediately “no nexus of terrorism”. Ditto for Benghazi. Here however, even with the downplaying of Iranians with fake passports (if they are involved, that’ll make O look like even a bigger ass hat vis a vis his Iranian policy), the government said they were NOT ruling out terrorism. That’s a major shift in their approach. I think they know, and knew it early.

  8. Juan Epstein says:

    What about Bush and the Joo—er–Neo-cons?

    • LGFiscrap says:

      That’s Chunk’s ace. If it is terrorism, he will need to explain why it occurred. Those are good options.

  9. Daedalus says:

    Arachne :
    Harry Reid will have a sad……

    Your wish is my command. See the poll now.

  10. Because says:

    No Ted Cruz?

  11. Because it's only a conspiracy when they do it says:

  12. Because without global warming, all warming theories are conspiracy theories says:

    • LGFiscrap says:

      Gus really doesn’t want this to be anything but a right wing conspiracy, neo Nazi terrorist attack, a dudebro attack, a Pro Russian act of terror, or warmening. Anything besides that is merely a conspiracy or the fault of a youtube video.

    • Arachne says:

      No dipshit. All theories are “SPECULATION” – Geez, you’re so stupid it sits on you like a halo.

  13. Octopus says:

    Woikin’ the repeats from last night….stand by for the ICYMI!

    He likes the term, “firebagger.” Warm memories of chowing a bag of Red Hot Cheetos, and then going into a Pan-trance culminating in a puff of cheez-dust from his shriveled pee-pee.

    • dwells38 says:

      Change a few words and Chunk’s describing Gus

      The Incredibly Strange Fleabagger Who Stopped Living and Became a Mixed Up Chunky Boo Boo Cultist—
      Chunky Johnson (@Green_Footballs) March 14, 2014

  14. Octopus says:


  15. windbag says:

    The Catholic Church may have a hand in this.

  16. Captain Death says:

    What about the Elders of Zion?

  17. dwells38 says:

    Write in vote:

    Teh Right Wing Gunz Nutz!!! After all, they did the Boston Marathon bombing and were only coincidentally also Chechnyan Muslim pressure cooker bomb hobbyists, one with a brainwashed converted wife.

    • LGFiscrap says:

      And even though their friends had terrorista #1 on their car, that was just a song, and the fact they’re were arrested irrelevant.

  18. Because olo says:

    • LGFiscrap says:

      Think he’ll quit again?

    • trebob says:

      Gus old pal, that’s what happens when you block everyone who might have a different opinion than you do. You now live in an echo chamber of your own design. You have emulated your hero Charles in almost every way now except you haven’t gotten to the point where all of your followers are dumber than you are (think about that if you can Gus). You still have a goal to meet.

      You got any 20 year old pics of yourself looking like the sun’s in your eyes?

    • dwells38 says:

      RT: Twitter getting repetitious
      ICYMI: Twitter getting repetitious
      Posted at LGF – Twitter getting repetitious
      RT: Posted at LGF – Twitter getting repetitious
      RT: ICYMI: Twitter getting repetitious
      ICYMI: RT: Twitter getting repetitious
      ICYMI: Posted at LGF – Twitter getting repetitious

    • Arachne says:

      And the biggest contributor, Goos, is your “ICYMI” retweeting to death butt buddy.

    • Octopus says:

      ICYMI, right, Garage Boy?

  19. Daedalus says:

    I added Ted Cruz and the Catholic Church to the poll.

  20. Because olo says:

    Now we need to add Serbia. And how did the Mossad escape this? They trixy.

  21. dwells38 says:

    Abby Martin. That crazy bitch did it and Glenn Greenwald thinks it’s just fine!

  22. Because Hunan Rice says:

  23. rightymouse says:

    Dude. You set the example so quit complaining.

  24. Because he says as he felates Bill Gates says:

  25. Because Goose the architect olo says:

    • Because says:

      Psst. Goose. The climate models aren’t anywhere that accurate.

    • OLT's Because Accuracy says:

      Glad you’re not a real designer or engineer.

      • Arachne says:

        Oh, I’m sure he has his empty pot-pie boxes arranged in an artful position as room decor.

      • Because says:

        His pot pies are all exactly 3.14 times the diameter around. He measures every one to make sure Banquet corp isn’t screwing him out of a crumb of crusty crust.

  26. Because ...and the winner is... says:

  27. OLT's Weird Reality says:

    Because he says as he felates Bill Gates :

  28. dwells38 says:

    Write in vote:

    Teh Rich Over-Pivileged White Men did it.

  29. d says:

    Because alien traction (LOL) beam.

    RT @Free_Media_Hub: Where is #MH370? latest one i heard today on tv was aliens used a traction beam on it and it and its crew are now anoth… 43 minutes ago

    • Octopus says:

      It’s a “tractor beam,” genius. Traction is the opposite of what LGF has gotten, since the Moronic Conversion. 😆 (slip-slidin’ away!)

  30. Zeus Crankypants says:

    How come there wasn’t a place on the vote for “LOST reboot?”

    • Octopus says:

      Zeus Crankypants :
      How come there wasn’t a place on the vote for “LOST reboot?”

      Because Chunky insisted on playing the part of “The Fat Guy,” and producers felt he was too old and ugly for the part. And too fat.

  31. Because the island might tip over? says:

  32. Because wow says:

  33. Doppel Poirot says:

    Here’s what happened to the Jet.

    I thought all along that the jet was intact, but with modern technology how do you stop the passengers on board from texting or making calls. You would need to kill them all quick. So what, poison gas? nope. you have to bring it on board. messy and difficult
    so you use what mother nature gave you. It’s quite simple

    Copilot finds allah a few months/years ago. Meets some interesting Imam friends who let him in on the ground floor of the big plans.
    Copilot slashes pilot’s throat. Copilot dings chime 5 times. Hijacker comes up, knocks on door. Copilot lets accomplice in. They place oxygen masks. Copilot disables cabin emergency oxygen.
    Cabin is depressurized at 35000 feet causing rapid unconsciousness of all passengers. in 10 minutes they are all dead. Ask Payne Stewart how that works.
    Jet then proceeds on course to preplanned landing destination.

    the only thing I can’t get is the motive.
    flying bomb in the future?
    was there some cargo that is very valuable?

    but the jet is sitting somewhere in 1 piece and all the passengers are dead

    • Doppel Poirot says:

      this has all the hallmarks of the great Dominionist Tea bagger Mafia……funded by the Koch brothers.
      all under the false flag of mooslim terrorists to sell missiles and invade Krapistan

    • Because Hunan Rice says:

      All I know is that the NYT is saying that this plane full of Chinese was sending “Pings”. That’s as racist as Hunan rice.

    • rightymouse says:

      That’s a fascinating theory, Dop. And utterly plausible.
      My big question mark is also “WHY” and curious as to why noone has claimed responsibility. Terrorists LOVE publicity.

  34. Because olo says:

  35. Arachne says:

    Because :

    His pot pies are all exactly 3.14 times the diameter around. He measures every one to make sure Banquet corp isn’t screwing him out of a crumb of crusty crust.

    I bet he even counts the number of carrots and peas. After all it’s Banquet! When you poke your fork through the crust, the whole thing deflates and is 1/2″ high, including the pastry.

    • Because olo says:

      Either that, or “pot pie” means something different in Colorado.

    • d says:

      And he probably talks “Like dish all de time” from constantly burning his tongue trying to eat them before letting them cool down. And of course the bloating from all the salt.

  36. OLT's Wow, A Pop Culture Reference says:

    Zeus Crankypants :
    How come there wasn’t a place on the vote for “LOST reboot?”

    I have been saying since Day One that “this is how LOST started”.

  37. OLT's Wow, A Pop Culture Reference says:

    Octopus :

    Zeus Crankypants :
    How come there wasn’t a place on the vote for “LOST reboot?”

    Because Chunky insisted on playing the part of “The Fat Guy,” and producers felt he was too old and ugly for the part. And too fat.

    They did offer him the part of The Island.

    • OLT's Wow, A Pop Culture Reference says:

      Gus gets to be the Black Smoke Monster, except now it’s Brown Smoke and it’s exactly what you think I mean.

    • OLT's Wow, A Pop Culture Reference says:

      Ludwig returns to The Lost Blog as the DOCTOR that is heroic in his own mind but no one likes. However, in the reboot, none of the women want to sleep with him. But there are TONS of crotch shots. In his mind.

    • OLT's Wow, A Pop Culture Reference says:

      Alouette plays the part of the confused fat nice person, except she’s a raging bitch fat person.

    • OLT's Wow, A Pop Culture Reference says:

      Furious Burkha offers her interpretation of the formerly female LA cop, except this time she is a formerly female LA jihad-ette.

    • OLT's Wow, A Pop Culture Reference says:

      The parts of Michael Dawson and Mr. Eko do not appear in the reboot, because no one at The Lost Blog knows any actual black people.

    • OLT's Wow, A Pop Culture Reference says:

      The part of the crazy French woman will be played by the (sanitized) remains of Ms. Ssssssss.

    • OLT's Wow, A Pop Culture Reference says:

      Kalegore’s lesbian neighbors will appear as the Korean couple, as the members of The Lost Blog know just as much about Koreans as the do about lesbians, therefore they must be the same.

    • OLT's Wow, A Pop Culture Reference says:

      Kilgore Trout will costar as the lovable yet utterly lost-in-time unlucky-in-love Brit. However, instead of being into sailing, he will be into snail breeding. Kilgore’s Big Green Egg will get top billing as The Mysterious Hatch.

  38. OLT's Wow, A Pop Culture Reference says:

    Gus’ shit-stained undershorts will appear as the twenty or so nameless extras on the beach at various times.

  39. d says:

    Because Nontroversy:

  40. d says:

    Write in vote:

    The Tasteless Mohammed video producer.

  41. JimboXL says:

    I was looking for the climate change option, though now that we are in a cooling period they are starting to call it “climate instability” and eventually when their invention is completely exposed as a fake they’ll be reduced to calling it “climate.”

  42. Abu penis penis penis lol olo says:

    Daedalus :
    I added Ted Cruz and the Catholic Church to the poll.

    Well that sucks or those of us who voted last night when the poll was posted. 😦
    j/k: I still would vote Tea Party. 🙂

  43. Because Here we go... says:

  44. Because he tweets to the world... says:

    • gizbot7 says:

      Really you freaking moron? The best part? How about we find those poor people alive or their families at least get some closure? But no, it’s all about you. Douche. 🙄

  45. Minnow says:

    Wow, Barry – you animal… another “piece”…. Gee – how many hours did this one take ya?

    “Here’s a good audio segment from NPR’s All Things Considered on what we know so far about the mysterious disappearance of Malaysia Airlines flight 370, a week later.”

    Thought provoking and cutting edge journalism right there. Watch out NYT, the big boys are playing ball!!

  46. OLT's Dire Warning says:

    Because :
    Donkey show rules.


  47. OLT's Holy Self-Awareness Batman says:

    Because he tweets to the world… :

  48. Doppel Milyo says:

    Octopus :

    Yes, she’s a big girl. Big in her shorts. Big all over.

    that guy is a dead ringer for our old pal WIND UP BIRD

  49. poteen2 says:

    My vote is for David Copperfield.. He can make anything disappear.

  50. Abu If, If, If,... says:

    IF, IF, IF, IF, IF, IF the plane is still around, the retarded-jihadis will fill it with barrels of fuel mixed with nails and fly toward Israel. Hopefully it will be over Gaza when Bibi has it blown to smithereens.
    Got to hand it to these splodyopes, they really calculate how to do maximum damage. Soon we’ll match their boldness.

  51. Abu bin Typo says:

    *splodydopes – been a while

  52. Abu says:

    Before I call it a day, all of he options for this vote are birds of a feather: KKK=TEA Party=Glenn Greenwald=Vlaams Bleang=Nazis=luaP noR=Koch Bros=the Catholic Church= Pammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!
    Dudebros are right out!

  53. Pakimon says:

    Looks like Bill Mahr has been sending flying monkeys to raid The Chunkster’s Cheetos stash. 😆

    • Pakimon says:


      • Octopus says:

        I think it’s because “Mahoor” praised Rand Paul recently, for his non-interventionist, librotarian position on the military options facing this country. Dangerously close to criticizing the Unicorn Messiah!

    • d says:

      “Kind of pretty much fully over”???? WTF is that? Is that like a little bit full on done with? Isn’t that kind of pretty much passive/aggressive bullshit talk that you’ve kind of pretty much cruelly mocked for years on your kind of pretty much fully failed website?

  54. Octopus says:

    Wow! That’s racist. 😯

    Apparently, Chunky feels the Malaysians are some kind of primitive cargo-cult, unable to comprehend or discuss the disappearance of this plane. They probably think the gods repossessed it, right, Fatass?

  55. Octopus says:

    Time for our early morning yoga feelgood-session. Today we have a special guest, a worldwide star from the hip-hop world. You haven’t heard of her, because you don’t follow hip-hop, because you’re racist. Any criticism of her is also racist, including snide remarks about stubble, because we just got done shaving her thoroughly. One world, one peace. Namaste.

    • rightymouse says:

      That reminded me of this video. Before you squirm & cringe, you need to know that he has a fabulous soprano voice! 🙂

      • Octopus says:

        The little toy trucks make that video.

        Ya boy looks pretty damn proud of himself, too. Settle down, Stretch. 😆

      • rightymouse says:

        A man’s gotta have SOMETHING to play with. 😆

      • poteen2 says:

        Tell the truth Righty. If any man similar to Mr. latex limbs hit on you, what would you do,
        A. Giggle uncontrollably
        B. Run away
        C. Both

      • rightymouse says:

        D. Sign him up for my Grandson’s Preschool “Show & Tell” class.

      • poteen2 says:

        Your Grandson and his classmates might not want to play with that guy’s Tonkas when he’s done showing and telling. ;0

    • Pakimon says:

      Pakimog contribute with Thongercise to counteract soprano man with tiger skin speedo.

      I’m sure PETA would be outraged!

      Tattooed strumpets wearing thongs – yes

      Soprano man wearing tigerskin speedo – no


  56. Octopus says:

    Hey, Garage Boy…careful there, buddy! Your Foul Master has surmised that something “very odd” happened to the plane. That’s about one step from a full-blown conspiracy theory, using his usual methodology of news analysis. You don’t want to find yourself on the outside of that club, me lad. Without a space heater, and Spring not yet sprung.

  57. rightymouse says:

    Charles spews out a racist tweet.

  58. Juan Epstein says:

    The epidemic continues to be ignored.

    So many bashing and murders the last few years in the NY area never go national.

    There waiting for a Mormon to do it.

    • rightymouse says:

      “In his bedroom, which Cook described as a converted garage, the murder suspect had a copy of the Koran open to a page which talks about homosexuality as a sin, family advocate Quanell X told KHOU. The find may give some insight into Cosby’s disturbed mindset, the advocate said.
      “It’s quite unfortunate but he had a real, real warped understanding, in my opinion, of the religion of Islam and its position on the gay lifestyle and what one should do,” Quanell X said.”

      Quanell X needs to read up more on what’s been going on in Muslim countries like Iran & Nigeria re: gays. Dude’s woefully ignorant.

  59. Juan Epstein says:

    That ones in Texas.

    Should go national.

    Cause texans.

    Not this time

  60. Because no, that's what happens when your greasy-haired master plops in the ocean says:

  61. Because BRC alert! BRC alert! says:

  62. Because says:

    rightymouse :
    A man’s gotta have SOMETHING to play with.

    There’s that guy with the dolls for sale…

    • rightymouse says:

      Yep. And his new wife told him where they needed to go. Out the door. who needs the competition? But a guy and his toy trucks is special, don’t you think??

    • Octopus says:

      Love Sarah, loved her TV show, love her occasional appearances on Fox. Will I sign up for her pay-channel? Hmm…probably not. Might be too much of a good thing. 😉

  63. iSpeakJive says:

    Haven’t read any of the conspiracy theories, but here’s mine. The younger pilot was supposed to turn around and fly into a skyscraper in Kuala Lumpur, but he chickened out, and didn’t know where to go after that.

    Poof! Now I’m suddenly the worst example of humanity for rendering an opinion, but funny, I don’t feel any different.

  64. d says:

    I just read on Fox News that the “flight tracker” was turned off from within the cockpit on the day it disappeared. OK is that the same as the transponder we always hear about that Muslim hijacker terrorists always know to turn off? Beats me, never heard of flight tracker before. Anyway, what is a legitimate reason to turn off all tracking and communication devices while you have 250 people or so on board a giant jet over international waters? When is that a fucking great idea? Why do the pilots or anyone who’s taken control of the cockpit have that choice to start with? Because if it hadn’t been for some engine monitor sending signals to a satellite we would have no clue the plane even continued on after they turned off these tracking/comm systems.

    If Gus wants to bitch why doesn’t he bitch about this? Instead of complaining that no one but him knows what an aileron is or some shit.

  65. Octopus says:

    The alien-abduction theory is gaining traction.

    I repeated a speculation to my wife this morning, I think I saw at Ace’s yesterday: the plane is being retrofitted with long-range tanks and a nuke, and its next appearance will be in the sky over the US, probably NYC. Where my kid lives now. This rumor, surprisingly, was not met with overwhelming approval. More like, “What’s wrong with you, telling me something like that?!” Oops.

    • Because says:

      I saw a comment on one of the news site. It must have been one of Chucky’s swamp critters. Maybe Alouette. Something like “maybe it just flew too high, and went into outer space”.

      Sounds like Icarus to me.

      • Octopus says:

        In that case, it will be coming crashing down in short order, all a-flame and whatnot. The LGF Model™.

  66. Because says:

    We need a fresh thread. Maybe what Goose was tweeting about at buttcrack-thirty about conspiracy theories at the swamp.

  67. rightymouse says:

    Good heavens! This is some weird stuff!!!! 😯

    • Octopus says:

      Free condoms are good for lots of stuff. Keep the rain and mud out of your rifle barrel. Fix your hair. Hey, free is good.

  68. For Sure the cause via Charles contact with B. Obama and Al Gore.

    Tropical Vortex Caused by Tea Party Use of Dodge Ram, Chevy/GMC 3500’s and Ford F-350 big bore 4 X 4’s.

    It is clear as mud to the swamp crew.

  69. 200 Texas mil-isha with .50 cal. fired on full auto caused these muslim pilots to run for cover,,, cause whitey is bad and a whitey Texan is to be feared world wide and long distant.

  70. ps

    My sock you talk to made me do it.

  71. JimboXL says:

    I’m sure that it was an 80 year old white female nun who hijacked the plane. The type our TSA pulls out of line and humiliates on purpose to get their kicks.

  72. Because cool flash animals and shit says:

  73. Doppel Milyo says:

    rightymouse :
    “In his bedroom, which Cook described as a converted garage, the murder suspect had a copy of the Koran open to a page which talks about homosexuality as a sin, family advocate Quanell X told KHOU. The find may give some insight into Cosby’s disturbed mindset, the advocate said.
    “It’s quite unfortunate but he had a real, real warped understanding, in my opinion, of the religion of Islam and its position on the gay lifestyle and what one should do,” Quanell X said.”
    Quanell X needs to read up more on what’s been going on in Muslim countries like Iran & Nigeria re: gays. Dude’s woefully ignorant.

    Maybe the guy wasn’t ruthless enough with the homosexual, and didn’t wipe his ass with his left hand after butt sodomizing the corpse and then shitting on the body

    maybe that’s what Quanell X meant. Gotta learn more about the RoP

  74. Because ICYMI says:

  75. Because Derp says:

  76. Because Uhh, Chucky. That's why the hockey stick is bullshit says:

    • Octopus says:

      Fatass got hoist with the irony-petard, when projection backfired on him. Moob went into the wringer, had to call the EMS. 😦

  77. Because you're old enough to remember "Hallelujah I'm a bum" says:

    • LGFiscrap says:

      Dumbfuck is gonna be sadz when we have to come to terms with the fact that AQ just got themselves an ICBM after being defeating by Obama. Actually, I think we all will be. I’m hoping this was either a dry run or hijacking gone bad because if it’s what we fear…..

      • livefreeor die says:

        I have that feeling I had for months after 9/11. That pit in the stomach with “What is going to happen next” sense.
        Didn’t miss this at all.
        Glad we have such a strong president who has AQ on the run. Hope this isn’t ruining his golf time.

  78. Octopus says:

    Garage Boy done some damage to his brain with the Sterno, but he’s actually old enough to remember a time before cable TV, or even color TV. Dude is old as dirt, and blends right in with it.

  79. Octopus says:

    Garage Boy is in full-on conspiracy-mode, with Teh Evul Wolfowitz meeting clandestinely with Ibrahim, and whatnot.

    IOW, the USG, Wolfowitz, State, etc., wouldn’t change the fact that the govt. of Malaysia sees Ibrahim as a radical. 20 minutes ago
    OK, I’m going down a rabbit hole there. That still wouldn’t change things from a domestic viewpoint. 21 minutes ago
    If Zaharie Ahmad Shah is radical for supporting Anwar Ibrahim wouldn’t that make Paul Wolfowitz a radical supporter himself? 24 minutes ago
    Given that US support are we to believe the Daily Mail that Zaharie Ahmad Shah is a radical for supporting Ibrahim? 25 minutes ago
    However, Anwar Ibrahim still receives the support of the US govt. up to State on March 7, 2014. 26 minutes ago
    There is conflicting information or feelings about Anwar between the US govt. and the Malaysian govts. 27 minutes ago
    Anwar Ibrahim gets support from the Bush WH and Deputy Secretary of Defense (2004) Paul Wolfowitz. 28 minutes ago
    Anwar Ibrahim seemingly gets support from congress. 28 minutes ago
    Let me see if I have this right. 28 minutes ago
    Anwar Ibrahim meeting with Paul Wolfowitz (2004) 29 minutes ago

    Fatass mulls it over, decides to jump in the pool with this:

    Geniuses at work, practicing espionage and statecraft and stuff. 😆

  80. Octopus says:

    Wait…what? What is the what?

    Get. A. Job. You. BUM! 😆

  81. Octopus says:

    Beware the Unreliable Narrator, in perusing fictional accounts of history. Also, the closed-head injury guys, and bitter broke-hearts. 😆