Gus 802 – Beyond the Valley of Obsession

GUS TWITTER HEADER
Yep, that’s Gus’ Twitter Banner (note the ChuckButton influence).
It’s no secret that Gus is a prolific commenter on Little Green Footballs (previously documented on Diary of Daedelus). With the advent of Twitter, Gus found a new venue, and predictably became just as rabid as he is on LGF.

The BRC decided to re-open the Gus 802 Statistics Vault recently, and what we found was amusing, amazing and disturbing.

GusQuitsAccording to Twitter, @Gus_802 joined in January 2011, and as of this posting he’s got +97.5K Tweets to date. Twitter doesn’t keep exact figures, but the BRC does. Gus opened his Twitter account on 12 January 2011, and as of 6 March 2014 5:30PM PST he’d posted an astounding 97,124 Tweets. So let’s run the numbers.

@Gus_802 has been Tweeting for 3 years, 1 month, 23 days.
Assuming Gus_802 crashes out for 8 hours a night, we get
1,149 days x 16 hours/day = 18,384 hours available
97,124 Tweets /18,384 hours = 5.3 Tweets per hour average (tph) or approximately

One Tweet every 11.4 minutes, EVERY DAY.

Since Gus performs other bodily functions besides sleep, that’s an amazing amount of obsessive-compulsive Twitiarrhea. Now let’s figure out how many comments per hour Gus 802 contributes to The LGF Swamp.

scattergusFrom 11 October 2008 through 29 December 2013, Gus posted a total of 118,751 comments. 5 years, 2 months, 19 days equals 1,906 days.
Again, assuming 8 hours of apartment/garage/AMC Gremlin-rattling snoring, that’s 1,906 x 16 hours = 30,496 hours.
118,751 Comments / 30,496 hours = 3.9 Comments per hour (cph), or approximately

One LGF Comment every 15.4 minutes, EVERY DAY.

Gus 1st LGF Post

When we combine Gus’ Twitter and LGF Comment rates, the numbers are even more shocking: (5.3 tph + 3.9 cph) = 9.2 total responses per hour, or an average of

One post every 6-1/2 minutes EVERY DAY.

And that doesn’t include the time he spends to read comments/Tweets prior to responding. Who is capable of functioning with that rate of obsession? GUS 802.

Notes From The BRC Statistics Department:

1. A scatter plot of Date vs. time of day for every one of Gus’ comments. It supports an argument that until recently, Gus put in close to an 18-hour day at LGF. He was busy in the overnight threads but something changed in July 2010.

Possible explanations for the notable gaps:
May 2011-Jun 2011: Relocation to “Bay Area” followed by busy afternoons.
Nov 2011-Dec 2011: Asks Charles to delete his account
Apr 2013-Jun 2013: Unknown.

2. Gus quits Twitter, April 27, 2013.

Gus Story

[Related Gus802 stuff here.]

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87 Comments on “Gus 802 – Beyond the Valley of Obsession”

  1. Pakimon says:

    Internet sleuthing?

    Maybe he should apply his sleuthing skills to the baffling case of “The Mystery of Why Gus_802 Is Unemployed and Living In a Garage” and track down that ever elusive job. 😆

  2. Octopus says:

    That is one of the saddest love stories I’ve ever read! Gus is positively twitterpated with his Lord And Foul Master Fatass McDumbth. He needs an intervention so badly, but there is nobody who cares enough to get that ball rolling. 😦

    twitterpated

    1)to be completely enamored with someone/something.
    2) the flighty exciting feeling you get when you think about/see the object of your affection.
    3) romantically excited (i.e.: aroused)
    4) the ever increasing acceleration of heartbeat and body temperature as a result of being engulfed amidst the exhilaration and joy of being/having a romantic entity in someone’s life.

    When he tweeted at Gus, the rush of warm, fuzzy, excited sensations that filled him made him realize he was completely twitterpated with this man.

    • iSpeakJive says:

      Goosetave’s definition of twitter-pation: When your occupation consists of sitting on your butt tweeting all day long.
      He probably considers it a hard day’s work and very valuable to crap out a 100 tweets a day. It’s exhausting!
      After all, what would his 1200 followers do without Goose keeping them abreast of troop movements in the Crimea, and other such timely news. Where, oh where else could they find that info???

  3. Octopus says:

    In my imaginary car I am above it all, looking down upon these obsessive Earthlings like a benevolent God. Then I tweet something stupid.

  4. Octopus says:

    Happy to be back in Michigan, My Michigan this morning. Spring forward! It’s only 17 degrees of warmening right now, but it’s going up to a balmy 35 later, and a sweltering 49 tomorrow, before settling back into the 20’s with a good chance of snow accumulation. I was worried about my snowpiles, so lovingly built, but they are fine. Barely lost anything, while I was gone. 🙂

    • rightymouse says:

      Welcome home!!! Sun is out here in Ohio. We had a major melt on Friday, but the white stuff is still out there. 😦

      • Octopus says:

        Fear not, ‘Mouse…the days of icicle-snots are coming to a close, and baseball is right around the corner. This winter has been a beast, and there might be a little fizz left in the bottle, but the calendar says Spring is almost here. The calendar never lies.

      • dwells38 says:

        We did too so I forewent (a word?) my coat on Saturday night here in N. Ky to see the Tusceegee U. Golden Singers choir because I hate dealing with my coat if I don’t have to. Saturday was beautiful and I’d done a 5k walk that morning but the evening brought a bone chilling wind. Nice concert though. Second tune in was Lift Every Voice and Sing. A few blacks in the audience stood up to this. I thought, this must bea black thing. Then the director spoke about the first few numbers and explained it’s known as the black national anthem. Had no idea! I might’ve stood out of respect had I known. Then again a lot of other blacks just stayed butt in seat. Anyhoo nice evening except for freezage.

  5. Octopus says:

    Right wingers call Michelle Obama a “wookie” because they think they’re disguising their racism that way. 6 hours ago

    Check out any right wing blog and you’ll see what I mean – “Wookie” is one of the right wing base’s favorite ugly slurs for the First Lady. 6 hours ago

    Anyone want to bet that the guy dressed up in that Wookie costume at CPAC heard “jokes” about Michelle Obama all day? 6 hours ago

    @sylk Ya think? 7 hours ago
    The Koch brothers apparently spent some major dough to license Star Wars properties for CPAC lgf.bz/1dDHpkY 8 hours ago

    Ipso Fatass-o, the Koch Brothers are racist monsters who just want to own Wookies, aka black slaves, aka Moochelle. You have to read between the lines, like our Weeble Icarus, who wobbles.

    http://tinyurl.com/mo34l4e

    • rightymouse says:

      Man desperately needs psychiatric intervention.

      • Octopus says:

        I think we should invite him over for a party, tell him there will be lots of hot single hippie gals looking for a man of some weight and influence. He’ll be there with bells on. The pants, I mean.

        Then, we’ll dose him up with a drug cocktail that includes some benzos, a big hit of acid, some Ecstasy, and some hardcore Ketamine from the biker’s club in Detroit. When the drugs take effect, and he’s done thinking he’s a dancing bear, we taser him and begin the intervention. Three days of intense de-programming should just about do it. If it doesn’t work, we’ll drive him out to the country and release him to the gray squirrels. He’ll be no worse off than he is today.

    • dwells38 says:

      Assuming these were Gus’ tweets.

      How is it racist, you pinhead Gus? Chewbacca was an expert pilot of an unfathomably complex intersteller spacecraft and a member of an extremely technologically advanced sentient alien race. Isn’t it much more likely the Wookie jokes are making fun of Michelle’s pug nose and generally big boned countenance? But then again if you just want to pretend everything the right says is racist, you just cover your ears and squint your eyes and bingo! Everything’s racist.

    • Abu says:

      Weebles wobble but they do fall off their bicycles.

  6. rightymouse says:

    Actually, your stupid, nonsensical tweets will be used in the umpteenth version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) as examples of paranoid hysteria.

    • dwells38 says:

      Palin considered for canonization? Is that a death threat Chunky Boo Boo? Are you suggesting she’ll be martyred and become canonized as a saint? Are you threatening Palin???

  7. rightymouse says:

    For those interested in following the missing plane news, this is a pretty good link that has timely updates:
    http://stream.wsj.com/story/malaysia-airlines-flight-370/SS-2-475558/SS-2-476127/

  8. Because profound Goose is profound says:

    • dwells38 says:

      He’s talking about Chunk’s fateful “break” with the political right that has precipitated the disastrous degradation and decline of his blog, the intellectual quality of his commenters and contributors and the complete loss of his credulity, reputation and respect on the internet. Right?

  9. Because you're late to Twitter! says:

  10. PeteP says:

    The old fatboy is predictably in full CPAC mode now. Babbling about CPAC at this time must be a yearly ritual for him.

  11. poteen2 says:

    Internet addiction is as real as any other and, apparently, pot is the gateway to them all.
    I wonder if Gus ever takes any time clean his bong?

    • dwells38 says:

      Doubtful. As we see, so many posts, so little time. My guess is he’s become expert at creating smoking devices out of household items in order to save time.

  12. KGB says:

    I can’t believe Gus is approximately the same age as Chawuz. I would have thought for sure the guy was a recent community college dropout. Good god, man. Get a life.

  13. Because olo olololo says:

    • poteen2 says:

      Hmmmm. You can’t make this shit up,,,,,,,,, unless maybe Gus IS TFK and his extended Apache family?

      • Because what work would you come back to? says:

      • Octopus says:

        If Twitter was a job, Gus wouldn’t be on it 24/7/365. Just the opposite. 😆

      • dwells38 says:

        Ha! Right. If Twitter were job the deadbeat Gus would eschew it like a large celled prehistoric virus. 🙂

  14. Because WTF? says:

    • Because says:

      87.3% of made up bullshit statistics are made up bullshit.

    • iSpeakJive says:

      You made fun of me dressing like Adam Lambert and now I must go rob a 7-11?
      The first rule in school is if you don’t want to be made fun of, don’t act like a weirdo.

      • Octopus says:

        That’s a rule kids need to learn, too, for when they get into the work environment. Bosses and higher-ups tend to require employees to toe certain lines, regarding dress and behavior. You don’t want to follow the rules, fine. You can always work at Hot Topix or some other “edgy” retail establishment, for minimum wage.

        Being a rebel carries a price, like anything else.

  15. dwells38 says:

    Great analysis work Briareus! You’ve proven Gus is truly obsessed and prolific or possibly a computer program. The quantity and frequency goes a long way towards explaining the low quality of Gus’ performance as an internet societal commentator.

    • Briareus says:

      That’s the work of The BRC, not me. I just post occasionally, and then once it goes up on the site, the BRC lets me know when I screw up simple math calcs. When that happens they make me sit in the corner and wear the stinky shirt.

  16. windbag says:

    With that much time devoted to LGF and Twitter, it explains the depth of ignorance over there. How can they find time to actually read some news and consider the events before offering an analysis? Oh, wait, they can’t. All they have time to do is retweet mindless crap from each other and spew their one-size-fits-all lefty rhetoric. Those numbers explain much.

    Probably the most telling description that moron has is the term “belligerent centrist.” Really? Centrist? Like many self-absorbed navel-gazers, they think that the universe revolves around them, including the realm of politics. Of course, THEY are the central standard by which all humanity will be judged. All others are extremist reactionaries. Puh-leeze, give it a rest.

  17. Captain Death says:

    Note that Gus came to LGF in October 2008 when it was an anti Obama blog.

    • Octopus says:

      Good point, Captain Death. Which means, he underwent Radical Moronic Conversion just like his Foul Master. In syncopated lockstep.

      “Who’s the more foolish, the fool, or the fool who follows him?” Erm, it doesn’t really matter. They’re both useless wastes of skin and oxygen. One carries a LOT more skin around, enough to cover a massive couch. Ew, that couch would have nipples! 😯

      • Octopus says:

        P.S. If that hideodorous couch were to end up on the curb in Culver City, questions would be raised about its origin. The FBI might send a young female agent out to canvas the neighborhood, see if anybody knows anything. That person might have this exact conversation:

    • Briareus says:

      There’s some fun Gussie Stuff in the BRC Archives, but because of the shear volume of inanity, it’s tougher to search than Charles’ garbage. We might put up a “Gus’ Greatest Hits” sometime when we get bored.

  18. LGFiscrap says:

    So the last 3 posts at the swamp by Chunk-some obscure, crappy music-Some obscure, crappy video-CPAC. I guess after he hit it out of the park with the Boston Marathon coverage, Chuck is a little gun shy re the Malaysia 777. Or the Ukraine. Or anything of any real relevance. Even TPM and TP are talking about those things, but Chunk is justifiably cautious this go round. If he can’t scream Nazi or racist or warming, Chuck just aint interested these days. Idiot.

  19. Because Racist!! Racist!! Racist!! Racist!! Racist!! says:

    • Octopus says:

      If there’s one thing we have learned about scientists over the years, it’s that they love to throw wild-ass guesses at things for the publicity. This thing they call “dark matter” is a hypothetical construct, like Teh Warmening. It has never been observed, and there are strong arguments against it even existing. Dumbasses like Chunky see a story like this, think “Oh wow, man!,” and tweet it out mindlessly to try and make themselves appear hip to the universe’s mysteries. 😆

      • LGFiscrap says:

        For shits and giggle, i clicked the linked. First the initial pop up. Then when you click the link to the quoted article, i had to click the link 3 times due to the fact it opened a pop up, rather than the page, the first 2 times. So, that aside, I wanted to see the article to see what it was about. Here’s my take-I have no fucking idea. Because I aint a fucking physicist but i like the way Chunky pretends to dig, because you know, he’s pro science and stuff. Again, more useless info from a guy who once had a blog that covered relevant world events.

      • Octopus says:

        Here’s a brief discussion of some of the issues regarding “dark matter:” http://www.physicsmyths.org.uk/darkmatter.htm

        Like I said before, this is just a theory, despite the “general consensus” of scientists professing to believe in it, and of course the media has embraced it wholeheartedly as a scientific fact, just like Teh Warmening. Me, I’ll wait for the first piece of evidence “proving” the theory…and I doubt this story is it. Very sketchy!

      • Because says:

        Here’s how I look at it. In 100 years, we’re all dead. And we’ll be dead whether or not there’s dark matter, or whether or not we know about it. And dark matter never gave a crap about us, or whether or not we ever lived.

        So fuck you, dark matter.

      • Octopus says:

        So fuck you, dark matter.

        Sideways, too. Bitch.

      • dwells38 says:

        Watching the new Cosmos which is supposed to be so scientifically accurate. Each time Niel DeGrasse Tyson’s hypothetical spaceship goes by it makes a big “whoosh” sound which is impossible of course, since without air there is no sound.

      • Octopus says:

        dwells38 :
        Watching the new Cosmos which is supposed to be so scientifically accurate. Each time Niel DeGrasse Tyson’s hypothetical spaceship goes by it makes a big “whoosh” sound which is impossible of course, since without air there is no sound.

        Oh, gawd. I forgot that asshat was hosting the show. Now I doubt if I’ll be able to watch it, knowing it has the “General Consensus” Seal Of Approval. 🙄

  20. Octopus says:

    BREAKING NEWS! FATASS VINDICATED BY STRANAHAN FIRING! BREITBART!

    What a maroon. 😆

    • iSpeakJive says:

      Per Chunky’s article, where Breitbart offered Stranahan a mere $100 per story:

      “Sure, they may all be complete a-holes who treat employees like serfs, but at least they pay a pittance for the privilege!
      Right wing journalism at its finest, folks.”

      Breitbart’s other employment offer was $54,000 a year for 12, 800-word pieces per week and one 2000 word piece on Sundays. That’s 9 cents a word, or $72 for an 800 word story.

      If Stranahan were to write the same number of stories as a full time employee, but at the $100 per rate, he’d make $75,000 a year.

      This is a “pittance” to a man who begs for $10 at a time.
      Also, Chunky you’re a snob and you suck at math.

  21. Octopus says:

    This song by the winners of the last season of “The X-Factor” knows more about gravity than Chunky ever will. And by the way…how smokin’ is this girl Sierra? 😉

  22. Bunk X says:

    Octopus :

    In my imaginary car I am above it all, looking down upon these obsessive Earthlings like a benevolent God. Then I tweet something stupid.

    Gus’ car spotted at 7-11. http://cdn.acidcow.com/pics/20140310/acid_picdump_60.jpg

    • Octopus says:

      Don’t look in the backseat! 😯

      Yes, I believe that was Gus’s car, before his long-suffering Sis had it “repossessed” (towed away from the street in front of her house, for being a non-running eyesore with vermin issues).

  23. Octopus says:

    “Why, yes, I know him personally. We used to hang out at the beach together, collaborating on songs. I gave him the idea for the song, “The Way It Is,” when I commented on a homeless person who was pooping in a box right in front of us.” (Ed. – It was Gus)

  24. Because penis penis penis lol says:

  25. Because Hunan rice is racist says:

  26. Juan Epstein says:

    Bruce.

  27. Octopus says:

    Bruce and me are pretty tight.

  28. Octopus says:

    White women! Stop that bellydancing right this minute, you racists!

    http://pjmedia.com/tatler/2014/03/06/guarantee-reading-this-salon-article-on-white-belly-dancers-will-make-you-measurably-dumber-also-possibly-racist/

    Jayzus, the race-baiters. It never ends.

    • iSpeakJive says:

      Nobody better mess with her special form of beauty:

      • Octopus says:

        Type 2 diabetes will do the messing. 😦

        Bet she has a sexy pannus, though. 🙂

      • poteen2 says:

        I’m Black Irish and she’s whiter than me and my kids. How come I don’t get to check a brown box? Huh? T’aint fair! She’s closer the Caucasus people than me. Never checking the honky box again.

      • Octopus says:

        poteen2 :
        I’m Black Irish and she’s whiter than me and my kids. How come I don’t get to check a brown box? Huh? T’aint fair! She’s closer the Caucasus people than me. Never checking the honky box again.

        I’m White Irish, but there’s Black Irish in the woodpile — me younger brothers can take a tan with the best of them. Not me, aside from me face and hands.

        When ye say, “T’aint fair,” are ye making with the funny about the light-colored taint? Because that’s racist, ye know.

      • poteen2 says:

        Taint fair, tint fair, fairly tinted. At this point what difference does it make?

    • Because says:

      Reminds me of the Before Times at the swamp, when Chunkles posted an article about some paleostonians insisting that Israel pay them royalties Israelis making hummus, because the recipe is Arab intellectual property that teh Jews stoled.

      • Octopus says:

        Hey, those chickpeas don’t mash themselves. The secret nearly burned up in the Alexandria Library fire, but luckily, the recipe survived when Tweety-Bird The First plucked it from the conflagration, and conveyed it to a Jew who was running from the Romans. The first tweet saved hummus.

  29. Bunk X says:

    This:

    And this:

    • Octopus says:

      If the aliens knew anything about Earthlings, they would say, “No, Fuckwit, that’s not the reason for Daylight Savings Time. Why are you so stupid? The idea, and it’s a good one once sponsored by your Benjamin Franklin, is to make better use of the daylight hours for work and education. You insufferable ass.”

  30. apachewhoknows says:

    New Loon Liberal Science News:

    Research by two ickey lip lock liberals of East Anglia University finds that there are these “bad gases” that are “Oh the horror” depleating the Ozone Layer………..

    Human Caused “bad gases”..

    One named Charles Johnson
    One named Gus the kook
    Others to unknown to name but posters on the lgf’s bad gas blog.

    Back to the old fraud for grants now.

    http://www.wattsupwiththat.com/

    • Because says:

      I had some bad gas a couple days ago. Then I had a blowout liquidation clearance event, and eliminated my entire inventory. Took two days of eating Hunan rice to build the inventory up again, and start shipping more product out the rear loading dock.

      Yeah, I know. TMI.

  31. Bunk X says:


    That’s Richard Bowden of Pinkard & Bowden fame.

  32. Bunk X says:

    • Octopus says:

      Sally Hemings was too hot for him to resist, though. Lookin’ fine, like a young Lisa Bonet. He owned that fine l’il mama!

  33. Al-Cheezeera says:

    LOL dumbass.