PRESENTING THE 2013 LGF AWARDS

The polls are closed, everyone’s been disenfranchised, and it’s time to announce the results. Grab a beer or another adult beverage of your choice with a fistful of cake and enjoy Our Gala Event.

Nominees for The 2013 LGF Awards were difficult to select, as Little Green Footballs, once a bright beacon of sentience in a disturbed world, is now a dim yellow porch light that even the moths make fun of.

Charles Johnson is now a big-boned petulant parody of himself, a wide pantload on the internet highway, and he’s succeeded in relegating and reducing his cut ‘n paste “News Aggregator” website to a slow-loading advertisement for Amazon subscription services featuring MediaMatters retreads. Even the most deranged and entertaining liberal lizards (like LVQ) wandered from The Swamp out of sheer boredom, leaving behind a homogeneous self-reinforced gaggle of little green pea brains with the average mental acuity approximately equal to the value ratio of Malawian Kwachas to U.S. dollars.

So let’s roll out the faded green Cheetos-encrusted ‘Dew-stained carpet and welcome the winners of The 2013 LGF Awards.

THE BUZZSAW

Prior winners of The Buzzsaw Award for intrepid flounce-worthy snarkage were:

2012 – Rightwing_2 aka MF Horn

2011 – No Awards. Fire in the Boiler Room, archives preserved. Internet Septic Tank Engineer chews up paper copies for security reasons and flees to Bolivia with couch cushions. The BRC destroys sensitive records, saves foosball table and keg chiller.

2010 – Cato “Do It Now” The Elder

This year, due to a dearth of Proper Flounces, we expanded the category of nominees to include those who, while preserving their coveted membership at LGF, provided just the right amount of contrarian snark. The Winner of the 2013 Buzzsaw goes to

2013 The Buzzsaw Award

Yeah, THAT Killgore Trout, once a fawning sycophant, known across the internet for his infamous racist Midnight Run smear, backstabbed by LGF monitor lizards Iceweasel & Jimmah, Killgore garnered a mere 23 percent of the DoD popular vote, more than enough for the win, given that the 2nd slot was won by no one at all. No one came in at 21%, followed by the snarkage of “not_sure” at 19%.  Good goin’, douche, your dreams have come true.

THE IRISH ROSE

Some great suckups won The Irish Rose Award in past years whether they liked it or not, including Dark Falcon (2012) and Dark Falcon (2010). In our recent poll, Dark Falcon was unexpectedly unseated. Alouette, aka Viscious Babushka, gave the winner a run for his *ahem* money, yet even she didn’t make the cut, and Curious Lurker wasn’t even nominated (sorry Furious Burka).

Therefore, The 2013 Irish Rose Award goes instead to Mr. Pitiful, Nowhere Man, Mister Morose, Debbie Downer’s Male Counterpart, He Who Blames Everyone But Himself For His Own Troubles That He Broadcasts To The World Via Twitter & Little Green Footballs, and The Sultan Of Suckage:

2013 The Irish Rose Award

Congratulations, Gus. We love ya, man.

THE JOHNSON

the-johnson-award4

Yeah, Charles won it again. At 1:1 odds, at least you didn’t lose any money on the bet, even if you didn’t count on this moronic TwitterFail:

Charles_Johnson_Reagan_Mandela_Apartheid

The Top Ten Most Popular Posts on Diary of Daedalus for 2013.
10. The Little Green Footballs User’s Guide
9.   I just can’t even.
8.   Another Grim Milestone for LGF: 16000+ Banned
7.   Introducing the CHUCKMEME
6.   Another Blow for Charles Johnson’s credibility
5.   Charles Johnson Defends Anjem Choudary
4.   Rebel Without A Clue: Alouette Takes On #TGDN
3.   Charles “Burner” Johnson Settles It
2.   LGF By The Numbers: Pick ‘em and flick ‘em
1.   “We have the coolest first lady ever. Just… holy shit.”

Since we’re in retrospective mode, on Monday, 20 May 2013 at 8:59:52AM Pacific Standard Time, Little Green Footballs’ 10,000,000th comment appeared and was promptly deleted. Why? Because the BRC counts and Charles Johnson doesn’t.

THE MILYO

MILYO AWARD

The Milyo Award is a recent addition intended to recognize those who participated in the mockery of Charles Johnson above and beyond the call of doody outside the realm of Diary of Daedalus. The obvious contender in 2012 had no close competition, so The 2012 Milyo was awarded, posthumously, to Andrew Breitbart (1969-2012).

In 2013, there were very few players who took precious minutes out of their daily schedule to occasionally mock Icarus, Barry, The Big Guy, The Corpulent One, The Magical Jazzy Ponytail for his blatant propaganda, personal smears, and astounding ignorance of junior-high-level history. There is one who still remembers the character assassinations, the underhanded allegiances, and the general rumpswabbery of Charles “Fuckface” Johnson, and who was more than willing to contribute to the laughter.

The 2013 Milyo is hereby awarded to

Robert Stacy McCain

Honorable Mentions: Doug Ross, Jim Hoft, Pat Dollard & Dan Riehl

Thanks to all for playing, and remember, Charles, we’re not laughing with you.  We’re laughing with all those who are still laughing at you. Keep up the good work. Kudos go to Daedalus – and the Mothership.


132 Comments on “PRESENTING THE 2013 LGF AWARDS”

    • Frank Sinclair says:

      Congratulations to your daughter for getting all holes filled by Peter North, Lexington Steele, and Ron Jeremy, and then getting a facial cleanse from all three.

      • Octopus says:

        There’s our Stabby Chunks, gracing us with his vivid fantasies again! We really missed you, man. Heard about your trip to the ER…sounds scary. I guess some things you think are going to feel good, that you’ve seen on the internet, are just not meant to be. 😦

  1. ElSuerte says:

    Man, rosiee should have won the Buzzsaw. She’s been holding the pro-Isreal line over there against the nutjobs. Even nominal right wingers like Dark Falcon are taking shots at her.

    What happened to Buck?

    • Bunk X says:

      Lack of interest in the nominations department here caused the oversight. Rosiee is a good one, thought she’d walked a long time ago. As for Buck, I don’t recall.

  2. rightymouse says:

    Who the heck is Rosiee??

    • Bunk X says:

      She’s the Israeli daughter of a rabbi and schooled them about the real world while getting attacked by the hive. She was very patient despite the LGF welcoming committee.

    • ElSuerte says:

      AFAIK she only posts in the pages and showed up after most everybody already left the swamp. Her pages are almost always good swamp watching. For awhile they were calling her an AIPAC/MEMRI sockpuppet.

      • rightymouse says:

        I rarely stick my toes into the swamp, so am not familiar with most of the new nics.

      • Bunk X says:

        ElSuerte :
        AFAIK she only posts in the pages and showed up after most everybody already left the swamp. Her pages are almost always good swamp watching. For awhile they were calling her an AIPAC/MEMRI sockpuppet.

        She’s sharp, doesn’t play their game, and very subtly and politely tells them that they’ve got no idea what they’re talking about. Rosiee is a keeper.

  3. Doppel Milyo says:

    Congratulations to all of the …………winners?

  4. Doppel Milyo says:

    BTW: the graphic for the Milyo award is sort of awesome

  5. rightymouse says:

    Is this an admission of trolling/stalking?

  6. trebob says:

    Aww, my horse came in 4th. I still think the ultimate in sycophantic suckage is to troll a “stalker” site after you’ve been bade adieu, spouting all sorts of vile trash about the “e-ville stalkerz” and telling everyone how you agree with “The Johnson” (MDBIH*) even though the guy won’t let you on his website. But what do I know? Cheer for the “weiners” and cry for the “loosers” it’s all beer and cake under the Bridghazi.

    (* Mountain Dew Be In Him)

  7. ChenZhen says:

    Shame about the flounces. I guess it’s safe to assume that after 16,000 bans (!), the purge is complete.

  8. Because says:

  9. Octopus says:

    Now that’s a stretch! 😆

    Such a lousy thinker, our Fatass.

    • Because says:

      One who breaks his skull open falling off an unjust bike must do so openly, lovingly, & with willingness to accept penalty.

    • d says:

      Just like Fatass WASN’T willing to accept any penalty for standing up against radical Islam. Better to trash all your friends and feign misleddedness and brainwashyness that kept you from being a proper useful idiot dishonest Marxist PC tool.

    • Pakimon says:

      “One who breaks open a bag of Cheetos must do so openly, lovingly. &with a willingness to accept weight gain and sticky orange fingers.”

    • St. Pancake says:

      When is chuckles going to just ‘cum’ out of the closet and admit he’s in love with Greenwald? Well at least he’s gotten over Pam.

  10. Octopus says:

    Congrats to the loose weiners who still mope around the swamp, and were rewarded with mock-awards for their mopery.

    mop·er·y
    ˈmōpərē
    noun
    1.informal – the action of committing a minor or petty offense such as loitering.
    “we got guys doing stretches for passing bad checks and aggravated mopery”
    2. feelings of apathy and dejection.

  11. Octopus says:

    Turns out Wendy “Pink Shoe Filibuster” Davis is a big fat liar: http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2014/01/19/Liar-in-Pink-Shoes-Wendy-Davis-s-Composite-Life

    This is shocking! 😆

    • d says:

      Saw that. Another lying puke cheating Dem. Some eye opening things she forgot to include in her testimony. Punked 2nd hubby to buy her a law degree while she cuckolded him. Then dumped him upon delivery of the degree. Didn’t want the snot nosed needy teenager around while she uh….built her career.

      She rearranged and mischaracterized her story to make her the victim and her cold, calculated self serving choices look courageous. She’ll go far on the left.

      • Because says:

        Why do you think she wants all that free abortion? If you’re going to be cheating on your husband, thet may very well come in handy.

  12. Juan Epstein says:

    Bro-opt.

  13. Octopus says:

    Best Good Thai Ladyboy! Very Sex. So Class.

  14. beeed says:

    Did Killgore flounce?

  15. beeed says:

    This place is more fun when it’s less dead.

  16. Octopus says:

    Dumbest thing ever said by anyone, anywhere?

    • Because says:

      I dunno. The dumb runs down the innernet like the water runs down the Mississippi. Johnson is at least Amazon-grade dumb, though. With pecker-eating fish.

    • rightymouse says:

      He has too many dumb-ass tweets/sayings of his own to compete with.

  17. Pakimon says:

    beeed :
    This place is more fun when it’s less dead.

    We’re just taking in the spectacle of The Chunkster playing Race Detective™ in honor of MLK day.

    The hilarious part is that if Martin Luther King were alive today, he would’ve probably had even more disdain for His Royal Chunkiness then George Duke.

    (That’s if he even noticed The Corpulent Pony-Tailed Blogger and his incessant bleating which is doubtful)

    • rightymouse says:

      I suspect if MLK were alive today, he’d have more in common with folks like Dr. Ben Carson than Obama & race-baiters like Sharpton & Jackson.

      • rightymouse says:

        The only co-opting that’s taken place is the Dems claiming MLK as their own when nothing could be farther from the truth. George Wallace, Strom Thurmond & Bull Connor anyone? Just to name a few racist assholes on the left.

      • Pakimon says:

        But..but…but it was all part of the “Southern Strategy’!

        They were all actually Rethuglicans pretending to be democrats!

        Even Lincoln was a democrat! He just pretended to be a Republican so all those other Republican slave holding racists would “play ball’!

        Here, have some more Kool-Aid!

        /imbecilic, brain-dead moonbat democrat

  18. Octopus says:

    George Duke: “No Viet Cong thief-in-the-night ever stole my VW van.”

  19. Pakimon says:

    His Royal Chunkiness will not be pleased with such talk.

    The Viscous Douche-Ka is rejoicing that you were drunk enough to tweet such sacrilege. 😆

  20. Doppel milyo says:

    Octopus :

    Dumbest thing ever said by anyone, anywhere?

    and the 2014 “the Johnson” award goes to…..

    • Octopus says:

      Fuckface! 🙂

      He’s always the winner.

    • Abu penis penis penis lol says:

      The dumb burns with that quote. Not disagreed with, howled for blood. His comic book mind has no place in polite society.
      As for the 2014 Johnson, it’s the 20th of Jan and I.Just.Can’t.Even. imagine what nuggets C F Johnson will come up with in the next 49 weeks.
      Thanks to the BRC for maintaining this wonderful place to mock Charles!

  21. ChenZhen says:

    Just battled the pop-ups and super slo loading and took a peek over there on the work computer. Question:

    Does Alouette post anything besides that silly gibberish in the “wingnut” font?

    That joke expired like 2 years ago.

  22. Octopus says:

    Wendy is frantically tweeting to put some kind of positive spin on her lies, and Gussie is frantically retweeting in order to…what? Is he flirting with her? Do you think he has a shot? 😆

    RT @WendyDavisTexas: Like so many Texans, I’m proud of where I came from and proud of what I’ve been able to achieve through hard work and … 25 minutes ago
    RT @WendyDavisTexas: Attacks won’t work. Mine is the story of millions of Texas women who know the strength it takes when you’re young, alo… 25 minutes ago
    RT @WendyDavisTexas: These attacks show that Greg Abbott’s completely out of touch with the struggles that I faced and so many Texans face.… 26 minutes ago
    RT @WendyDavisTexas: Two days ago, Abbott and his campaign sunk to a new low, making personal attacks on my family, my education, and my ch… 26 minutes ago

    • livefreeor die says:

      What’s wrong, Wendy? Shouldn’t you be proud of your choice to spread the wealth from your second husband to you? How about that abandoning your own children to further your career-guess a REALLY late term abortion wouldn’t work, huh? Don’t you want people to know how manipulative you are of people in your personal life, as well as your manipulation of potential voters?

      Hey, since when was the truth an “attack”?

      • Pakimon says:

        When speaking truth about democrats, it’s ALWAYS an attack.

        It’s in the liberal moonbat handbook somewhere. I’d cite the page but I can’t find my copy.

        I think I lined the cat box with it a few months back…

      • Just like criticism and disagreement with Libtards are ‘censorship’ and ‘attempts to silence’. They have no moral compass, so language is just as fluid, flexible and meaningless to them.

    • Pakimon says:

      The stench of unbridled panic is in the air.

      Wendy’s political aspirations are going…going… 😆

    • livefreeor die says:

      Such a pity. She sounds like such an upstanding person.
      You’ll know it’s over when the Girl Scouts turn on her.

    • Doppel milyo says:

      In other words

      “I’m a woman. Do not challenge my lies”

  23. Octopus says:

    Rosiee is an interesting case, and I wonder why she hangs at the swamp. Here she is castigated for her pro-Israel stance, and there are some amusing comments from Douche Falcon. 😆

    http://littlegreenfootballs.com/page/304772_A_day_after_Sharons_death_Redd

    I would have to assume she sticks to the proggie-agenda on other subjects, or she’d be history by now.

    • livefreeor die says:

      Chuck needs to keep some people around for everyone to gang up on. That’s what ups the comment count!

    • Pakimon says:

      Took a look and lo and behold, no ads!

      Thank you Firefox Adblocker.

      Noticed that Chunky has color coded “downdingies” so the number appears as an ominous red as opposed to the benign green of “updingies’.

      That blog really is a train wreck, isn’t it?

      It’s akin to something produced by a bloated, Cheetos eating chimpanzee that’s the subject of some sort of diabolical experiment.

  24. Pakimon says:

    On my last foray to The Bog, I noticed Chunky has dropped the price of a year of ad-free idiocy from $80.00 to $79.95

    What a bargain! 🙄 😆

    • ChenZhen says:

      Yea somehow Johnson thinks an ad-free LGF is worth the same to someone as that Amazon Prime thing he was peddling so desperately. Does not compute.

      But what else is he gonna do? He blocked everybody. To unblock them would be to concede defeat, but it’d probably be the only way he’d have any chance of turning the site around. He’s painted himself into a corner with his douchebaggery.

      • Abu penis penis penis lol says:

        Wouldn’t it be sweet if the BRC could unblock all 16,000 accounts and we’d crash the site. Only as a statement. We’re all behind Charles making a behind out of himself.
        /hit the tip jar or subscribe to Amazon Primate

    • d says:

      That’s just for YOU!

  25. Octopus says:

    Pakimon :
    On my last foray to The Bog, I noticed Chunky has dropped the price of a year of ad-free idiocy from $80.00 to $79.95
    What a bargain!

    Now it’s truly impossible to deny he is a Business Genius! 😆

    • livefreeor die says:

      Sadly, that might actually entice some of the dimmer bulbs at LGF.

      • Pakimon says:

        The hilarious (yet sad) part is that some of his few remaining sycophants live in such fear of The Chunkster’s “mad computer skillz” that they don’t dare quietly use Firefox with the Adblocker plugin lest they incur his wrath.

        After the BRC plundered his strawberries from his Memory Hole and made a mockery of his “correlator tool” you’d think they’d be emboldened to show some backbone.

        at least a little bit…

      • Because says:

        Well, look what happened to teh Stabb.

      • Abu bin Gump says:

        Stabby or a certain someone who got stabbed
        in the butt-ocks?

    • Because says:

      Now he just needs one of these.

  26. d says:

    I’m working at home yet again due to excessive global climate change here in N. Kentucky. The climate has changed so drastically that we’re seeing freak snow storms and bitter cold temps in January! How could I have ever doubted the climate science expertise of a fat blog bully and his unhinged side kick??

  27. Because says:

    It may be a little late for this, but shouldn’t there be a penis penis penis lol category?

  28. trebob says:

    Octopus :There’s our Stabby Chunks, gracing us with his vivid fantasies again! We really missed you, man. Heard about your trip to the ER…sounds scary. I guess some things you think are going to feel good, that you’ve seen on the internet, are just not meant to be.

    We should warn Stabby not to just stick random things up there. Here are a few items that should be on the “no input” list:

    http://www.oddee.com/item_98446.aspx

    • Octopus says:

      My brother’s an ER doc with 20 years of experience in downtown Detroit. He’s seen it all, in terms of gunshot wounds and rectal-inserts. He says the toughest object to remove is the common lightbulb, because it forms a vacuum in there and is easily breakable, which can lead to very serious injury. Sometimes they’re already broken, when they come in for to get their lightbulb changed. There’s a metaphor in there somewhere, but damned if I’m going to go looking for it. 😯

      • Doppel milyo says:

        at least now it’s a more environmentally friendly bulb up their ass. less global warming you know.

        don’t mind all that mercury. nothing to see here. move along

      • trebob says:

        Yeah, won’t the new CF ones just screw out now? Your bro’ is out some work now and will have less revenue because now you can unscrew the bulb from your rectum. Damn government!

      • Because says:

        What if the guy’s really, really diverse and has a left-hand threaded butthole?

  29. Juan Epstein says:

    I want the Naked Chuck Chair!

    Semper Feeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  30. Juan Epstein says:

    Butt then:

    • Octopus says:

      Those chairs make me uncomfortable. Something about them just doesn’t sit right. Can’t put my finger on it…

  31. Octopus says:

    We got fooled again. And again.

  32. Pakimon says:

    Time for yet another edition of Chunkles’ How Many Tweets Does It Take To Get To The Center Of a Nontroversy

    Let’s find out!

    One

  33. Pakimon says:

    Two-hoo

  34. Pakimon says:

    Tha-ree

  35. rightymouse says:

    No, Gus. When you have children, you’re BOTH obligated to parent them. She ditched them because she didn’t want the responsibility. As a Mom, I can tell you there’s something very wrong with her.

    • Pakimon says:

      Gus is so obtuse, I’d feel sorry for him if it weren’t so hilarious. 😆

    • livefreeor die says:

      I agree, rightymouse. Something is really wrong with her-especially when you consider that her second husband was awarded full custody of their children in TEXAS.
      By the way, Gus. Most moms I know would be counting the days until they were done with school and could be back with their kids. They wouldn’t then divorce daddy and leave the kids with him permanently.

  36. Pakimon says:

    Chunky let’s everyone know he was a “world traveler” but something is amiss…

  37. Pakimon says:

    Chunky is oblivious. He must let everyone know what a groovy hipster he was “back in the day”.

  38. Pakimon says:

    Rut Roh!

    Looks like the photo Chunky tweeted was a fake! Didn’t think husky pony-tailed bloggers were so gullible.

    On the plus side, he wouldn’t have been as “out of place” in that photo as he thought since he’s just as much a fake as that picture was… 😆

    http://www.statschat.org.nz/2014/01/20/whats-wrong-with-this-picture-2/

  39. Pakimon says:

    Having shown himself to be a gullible assclown, The Chunkster clumsily tries to “save face” with inane double-talk that means nothing. 😆

    • rightymouse says:

      I thought he & Killgore were the fakery experts there. 🙄

      • Pakimon says:

        So much double-talk bullshit in one tweet.

        “It’s not really fake…uh…it’s real but a mockup of a real 747 cabin…but fake….DAMMIT! WHERE’S MY BAN STICK!!!!1111?????????”.

        One more thing, you granny haired pony-tailed ignoramus, 747s weren’t in commercial service until 1970.

        Way to show your intellectual prowess, dumb ass. 😆

      • rightymouse says:

        😆
        That’s what he does best when he’s caught BS’ing about something which he has not an effing clue.

      • trebob says:

        It’s a real picture of a fake 747 cabin, with a fake headline, faked to look as if it was B&W and a faked age. But according to Charles it’s “Not really “fake””? He can convince himself of anything.

        Seen any good flags lately Charles?

      • rightymouse says:

        As Pakimon noted above – “First flown commercially in 1970, the 747 held the passenger capacity record for 37 years.[7]”. There’s no way CJ could have been on one in the 60’s. I flew with my family around the world a lot and I don’t remember the 747 until 1971.

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boeing_747

      • rightymouse says:

        Someone with a twitter account should bust CJ’s chops on this one.

    • Because says:

      No, dipshit. It’s not a real cabin.

      You do know what “mockup” means, bikeshort?

  40. Abu He's One Bad Motha (shut yooo mouth) says:

    Pakimon :
    Time for yet another edition of Chunkles’ How Many Tweets Does It Take To Get To The Center Of a Nontroversy
    Rotating title? Damn right!

  41. Juan Epstein says:

    I don’t know about you motherfuckers, but I’m curling up on the couch, putting on a black and white movie, making a cup of hot chocolate and going to talk about about Obamacare and herding Injuns into D’triot.

  42. Juan Epstein says:

    And Darfin!

  43. Juan Epstein says:

    And Prell!

  44. Octopus says:

    Stop this creeping malaise, and rock the fuck out. 😈