“I actually met Kenny G”

Darthstar posted a picture of Kenny G meeting Miles Davis.

Kenny G

Charles mentions he met Kenny G, when he was involved in the Jazz scene.

Kenny G 2

Charles reminiscing when he was someone of significance. If they met again today, Kenny G would probably think Charles is some fat stalker fan.

Advertisements

59 Comments on ““I actually met Kenny G””

  1. Octopus says:

    That must have been a pivotal moment in Young Chunky’s life, when he heard the soulless noodling of Kenny G. and thought to himself, “Yes.” Clearly it made a big impression on him, as he remembered a “nobody” Kenny G. who opened up for the mainline hot-jazz combo of Stanley Clarke, featuring a real prodigy on jazz surf guitar.

  2. Octopus says:

    You are getting slee-e-e-py…all you hear is the soulless noodling on a sax, by a laid-back California dude who golfs every day, and never practices his sax…you want to go find a baseball bat, and chase him down the street and away from your home, but you are just…too…slee-e-e-py…and, now you’re a chicken, and I’m going to fuck you. When you wake up, you will have only fleeting, nightmarish memories of this. Don’t wake up ’til I’m done!

  3. Bunk X says:

    It’s going to be 1:14:1 14/1/14 in just a little while on the west coast.
    Second:Minute:Hour; Day/Month/Year.
    I’m not gonna stay up to celebrate.

  4. rightymouse says:

    Charlie the narcissist. It’s always about him.

  5. OLT's Because Racist Nuggets says:

    OK, I opened this and see the Miles Davis looking askance at Kenny G. Cultural subtext, claims the poster. Bullshit, claim I. Miles Davis played jazz; Kenny G is an elevator musician of the highest order.

    Right below this is an AD … not DoD content, Stalker Charles … of a black man looking at a pile of chicken nuggets in much the same way any healthy heterosexual male would look at a pile of nekkid nubile female NFL cheerleaders wrestling over a dildo.

    Now THAT is cultural subtext.

  6. Doppel B. DeMilyo says:

    Charies also knew Anders Breivik before he hit it big

  7. d says:

    “When he was playing sax for Jeff Lorber”. Uh what else would Kenny G play? Redundant a lot much, Chunk?

    Interesting to look at the two. I can’t stand Kenny G.’s playing but he’s somewhat of an irrepressible guy. Always smiling and positive through all the criticism, he’s also an avid golfer, a sea plane pilot and to this day (according to Wikipedia) does a daily radio show. I would guess he’s very likeable in person. Miles, not so much. Arrogant and abrasive. To me the photo doesn’t reveal anything culturally. If this is after G hit it big then it’s just two big pop icons standing next to each other. Miles never smiled after say, circa 1978. The major difference between the two is Miles had more of a tendency to believe that legend stuff about himself. He was important in Jazz as a band leader. Not a player, writer or innovator. To me, by the ‘80s Miles himself was a pop sellout. And there’s a tendency to think Miles gruffness is due to his gritty street upbringing and drugs and what not. BS. His father was a dentist and Miles attended Julliard. I think he did have a stint with heroin but kicked it. He also amateur boxed. Why a trumpeter would want to box, I have no idea. I’m sure Miles hated Kenny’s music but I wouldn’t be surprised if he had some grudging respect for his ability to parlay his image into a mega-million bucks business just as Miles had done.

  8. Arachne says:

    Yeah, and I met Billy Joel in the Cafe Carlyle before “The Stranger” was released. I met Elton John at the Troubador before “Your Song” was a hit. I met Robin Williams walking down the street in San Francisco where he made a crack that I was “rattling” (I was hurrying and carrying a set of Pentel Pens). I wasn’t looking where I was going and slammed into Brian Wilson at a tribute concert to his brother Carl.

    What’s your point, Fatass?

  9. d says:

    Doppel B. DeMilyo :Charies also knew Anders Breivik before he hit it big

    LOL! Pam Geller knew Chunk Johnson before he hit it small.

  10. d says:

    There are big parallels between Chunk and Kenny G:

    Both played in ’80s pop/jazzy bands
    Both have long flowing girlie locks
    Both are polarizing public figures
    Both live in California: Kenny in Malibu, Chunk Culver City next to the Hunan Palace.
    Both have Grammy awards: Kenny, his own. Chunk, George Duke’s.
    Both have regular followers: Kenny’s in the millions worldwide. Chunk’s in the….dozens on his failed website and largely ignored Tweets.
    Kenny G’s a multi millionaire many times over thru music and shrewed investing (groundfloor Starbucks). Chunk’s networth is close to $3000 counting his website, comic books, orange jumpsuit, collection of vintige scrunchies and guitar amp.

  11. Doppel Milyo says:

    at least Kenny G never stole a VW van

    just sayin’

  12. Octopus says:

    Expect Fatass to go all twittery about Roger Ailes and Fox News today. 🙄

  13. Octopus says:

    That’s a good way for you to spend your contemplative moments, Gus. Cats will show you the way. Greatest leeches in the history of the animal kingdom. 🙂

    • d says:

      I thought the commentary was not funny. But if it helps keep Gus on the wagon, I’m fine with it.

      • Doppel Milyo says:

        lack of money keeps gus on the wagon so the good news is he’s likely to stay relatively sober like, forever

  14. Juan Epstein says:

    Knew him before he was big. Cool.

    Kenny G. Not Cool.

  15. Arachne says:

    I have a feeling that Kenny G isn’t posting at blogs or mentioning that he met Charles Johnson, aka Magical Jazzy Ponytail, when he opened for Stanley Clark.

  16. Octopus says:

    Kenny G – Smooth Jazz
    Chunky McDumbth – Smooth Operator

    😆 …couldn’t keep a straight face for that one.

  17. Octopus says:

    • Arachne says:

      Yeah, because people are always hoping for shit like this in their Twttier feeds.

      • d says:

        I’m sure that guy got an A+ for irrelevant special effects in Filmaking 101 for that. The video was really compelling. For instance I was compelled to shut it off at the 36 sec mark.

  18. Octopus says:

    Meant to say, in regards to above:

    Chunky thinking: “If I keep posting these trippy cool Vimeo Staff Picks, my popularity with the young folks is bound to skyrocket. I’m going to be huge, and not just in Japan. Huge all over!”

    • d says:

      d :There are big parallels between Chunk and Kenny G:
      Both played in ’80s pop/jazzy bandsBoth have long flowing girlie locksBoth are polarizing public figuresBoth live in California: Kenny in Malibu, Chunk Culver City next to the Hunan Palace.Both have Grammy awards: Kenny, his own. Chunk, George Duke’s.Both have regular followers: Kenny’s in the millions worldwide. Chunk’s in the….dozens on his failed website and largely ignored Tweets.Kenny G’s a multi millionaire many times over thru music and shrewed investing (groundfloor Starbucks). Chunk’s networth is close to $3000 counting his website, comic books, orange jumpsuit, collection of vintige scrunchies and guitar amp.

      Both could hit a groove that made people want to stop tapping their feet and/or interrupt the band and suggest starting over.

  19. Minnow says:

    Hey Barry, what did Kenny G refer to you as? Lenny? Larry? Barry?

    Kenny G…. big whoop.

    Yawn.

    • Doppel Milyo says:

      this is how the conversation went:

      KennyG : hey ponytail boy, I’m driving a BMW 7 series. black.
      Charles: yes sir, will get it right away

  20. kbdabear says:

    The latest episode of Jazzy McFatpants in “GlennGreenwald GlenBeck”

    RT @thedailybanter: What do @pierre Omidyar, Glenn Greenwald and Glenn Beck Have in Common? A very shady business model. @Green_Footballs h… 31 minutes ago

    Mountain Dew is for CLOSERS!!!

  21. kbdabear says:

    Of course trolling followers to sign up for a trial account and cancel it before 30 days so Chunk gets $10 is an ethical practice

  22. Octopus says:

    Lolwut. 😆

    We all so racist and fattist and shit. Thanks for the reminder to be nice, Gus.

  23. d says:

    I met Arturo Sandoval in person. Shook his hand when introduced by his pianist (a friend from college). And I ran lights and sound for Doc Severinsen. And ran lights and sound for Pat Metheny. And upon checking the stage monitors got bitched out completely unfairly by Lyle Mays for touching his precious effing patch chords (what a dick!!!!). I also have a Grammy. Well, she’s dead now.

    Can I be relevant now?

    • Arachne says:

      I rode a BART train that Jerry Brown was on – he was Mayor of Oakland then.
      He had to stand because no one would give him a seat.

      • Doppel Milyo says:

        actually, he stood and the subjects knelt before zod

      • iSpeakJive says:

        I had sushi one booth over from Robert Downey Jr., pre-incarceration. Then last year I had pizza with his prison guard from Corcoran. Bobby was a model prisoner, I hear. I’m due one more intersection, synchronicity-wise.

  24. Arachne says:

    http://weaselzippers.us/black-actress-tamera-mowry-called-a-white-mans-whore-for-marrying-white-fox-news-reporter/#disqus_thread

    I guess the Race Detective and his faithful crew of dipshits must have missed the nasty raaaacist remarks by these leftward leaning tolerant dirtbags.

  25. OLT's Did I Mention He Was A Dick? says:

    Arachne :
    Yeah, and I met Billy Joel in the Cafe Carlyle before “The Stranger” was released. I met Elton John at the Troubador before “Your Song” was a hit. I met Robin Williams walking down the street in San Francisco where he made a crack that I was “rattling” (I was hurrying and carrying a set of Pentel Pens). I wasn’t looking where I was going and slammed into Brian Wilson at a tribute concert to his brother Carl.
    What’s your point, Fatass?

    I worked stage crew for a Buddy Rich performance at my high school. I was in the jazz ensemble playing bari sax and it was a group commitment. I thought it would be fun.

    He was a dick. The band percussion section was still starry-eyed, and he did give them a short talk (which was the only non-dickish part of the day).

    Otherwise, complete dick. Stayed on the tour bus except for the talk and show, right back on the tour bus. Every last human interaction he made was tinged with dickishness if not outright assholery. He was even dickish to his employees.

    • d says:

      Yeah I knew several guys on Buddy’s band. He was crazy mean to those guys. But he could be extremely charming too. I think he felt like they were pissants compared to him (pretty much true) and his ego wouldn’t let him show them any warmth or friendliness. He would praise them in public then rip on them on the bus and create needless confrontations. The good thing was it was so out there it wasn’t that stressful after awhile. Everyone knew Buddy’s just a whack job. If he fired you last set he’ll tell you to get your ass on stage the next. Still a great player to the end.

  26. dezes157 says:

    Gee Chucky, tell us about the time you blew Elvis before he made it big.

  27. rightymouse says:

    Miles Davis doesn’t seem to like Kenny G. very much. Then again, Miles Davis didn’t like very many people and was stoned most of the time.

    • Because says:

      If Miles Davis, Kenny G. and Icarus Johnson were all in a room, there’d be one musician in the room.

  28. Pakimon says:

    Why…WHY?!

    Well…uhhhhh… because … RACIST!

    Derp Bam!

    • Pakimon says:

      A little context is in order. Here’s the uncensored video that’s giving Chunky the vapors.

      NSFW due to foul language.

    • d says:

      Dunno Chunk. I don’t watch the Commie News Network. Why don’t you flop on over to AMESSNBC and see if Michelle Hairy-Pairless, the greatest intellectual of our time can ‘splain it to ya.

    • Pakimon says:

      Th sad part is that Chunkles and “GeraldoGT” would have you believe that the Omaha Police Officers Association made that video when in fact they were merely reposting it from the internet along with some commentary about how the “thug cycle” is perpetuated.

      It should also be noted that the mother of this charming tot is only sixteen.

    • dezes157 says:

      The kid wasn’t acting, he was being coached!