Make Your Gus Xmas Predictions!

It’s that wonderful time of year again, and again I can’t help but be reminded of this old howler:

gus 802 xmas sadsacks

It was pretty hilarious at the time bacause, after we did our own checking, Gus the hypocrite had left over 30 comments and penned a thread at LGF over the holiday (Gus remains CJ’s most prolific commenter, so perhaps, in his mind, only 30 comments was like taking the days off).

So here’s an easy game if you’re bored and have a second: Leave a prediction in the comments section on how “pathetic” Gus is going to be this year. Number of comments and pages. The winner gets some form of a fabulous prize (keep in mind that one of Gus’ pages just made memeorandum, so he might be feeling particularly emboldened right now).

Christmas BRC

Merry Christmas!

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89 Comments on “Make Your Gus Xmas Predictions!”

  1. It might not be a bad idea to see just how many tweets ol’ Gus makes too, as he’s very much a tweeter. In the sidebar, you’ll see I’ve added Gus’s Twitterwarrior Theatre for the occasion. —->

    • Bunk X says:

      Evictions. Relatives. Extension cords. Washing machine. Visqueen. Couch springs. Dewar’s. Pot. Mayflies. PayPal.

      Gus should write a memoir about his troubles, missed opportunities and how he pissed them all away. Then he should send it to Rachel Maddow for an endorsement.

      • Because says:

        Undies washing with the silverware…
        Ice cold butt in the garage…
        Surfing LGF on the neighbor’s wifi,
        Merry Christmas, to Gus…

  2. swamprat says:

    Predict a job, a relocation, and an understanding of the realities of the blog you frequent and the ideology that has has mislead you.

  3. Minnow says:

    I predict Gus will try and wash his underwear in his sisters dishwasher….

    /Karnac off

  4. swamprat says:

    great moment in lgf history:

    Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson Quotes From the Book of Jim-Bob
    Leave Phil Robertson alone!

    Charles Johnson
    Wingnuts • 5 hours, 28 minutes ago • Views: 3,294

    Refresh my memory, please; which apostle was it who said, “To me, a vagina would be more desirable than a man’s anus?”

    Is that a quote from the Book of Cletus?

    And lo, the Apostle Bucephalus encountered a homosexual redneck on the road to Damascus, who said unto him, “Unmount, good sire, for I have sinned, and now I hath a desire to make sex with thy donkey.”

    And Bucephalus spake, “To me, a vagina would be more desirable than a man’s anus, my son.”

    • swamprat says:

      Another one saved for posterity!
      Can’t memory hole this, it is noted for all to see.

    • Abu *Hee-haw!* says:

      Charles describes his visits to the Donkey Show. I visualize nothing but the folding two-step stool collapsing beneath Mt. Moobious.

  5. Octopus says:

    I predict Garage Boy (not to be confused with Pajama Boy) will tweet 100 useless tweets on Christmas Eve and Christmas, to go with 50 comments and one self-authored post.

  6. Octopus says:

    The Matt Shepard-fanatics are bruiting this canard about on Facebook, not having gotten the memo (in exhaustively-researched book form by a gay man seeking to commemorate the “homosexual murder”) that the murder had nothing to do with Shepard’s being gay, but that in fact he ran afoul of a couple of meth-heads, one of whom he’d had sex with previously.

    http://nypost.com/2013/10/28/uncomfortable-truth-behind-matthew-shepards-death/

    Note: of course the Left was agog at the revelations contained in this book, and moved quickly to character-assassinate the author and discredit the book’s message. You don’t just let a goldmine-meme like this go, without a fight. Whole careers were made on this tale, like a whole industry was built on AGW, nevermind the fucking facts.

  7. Octopus says:

    You clicked it, Garage Boy. You know you did. 😆

  8. ISTE says:

    Impossible to predict.

    Jesus suddenly decided on a whim to call the pornographer and scammer Lee Stranahan to the fold

    I know God is supposed to work in mysterious ways but what the fuck?

    • ISTE says:

      Long journey?

      🙂

  9. ISTE says:

    Now please stop laughing. Lee Stranahan is serious!

    • ISTE says:

      In a couple of days Lee Stranahan will be asking for money so he can go visit the birthplace of Jesus so he can be closer to Him.

      He and he accepts paypal.

    • Daedalus says:

      He will need donations for his new ministry!

      • ISTE says:

        Just two minutes ago…

        “Give me money!”

      • swamprat says:

        Amazing.

        See if he blocks you when asked about his charles johnson effort..

        “Help support move Pajamas Media and expose the truth about Charles Johnson and lgf”

        Yeah, I heard this song before. I didn’t buy it but i felt bad for those who got snookered

      • Bunk X says:

        He’s never blocked me for asking. He said no one who demanded a refund (2 people) would give him a way to do it since it was done via PayPal and he doesn’t have contact info. I suggested he donate it to charity instead. He declined.
        Go figger.

      • Arachne says:

        Yeah, Lee was giving updates on how short he was of his “goal” on Twitter the other day. I was like, “dude, sorry, but fool us once….not gonna happen.”

  10. Octopus says:

    Shaddap, Lee! 😆

    Jesus, this guy is relentless. I can see how someone could get obsessive and hatey about him.

    • ISTE says:

      You want to know how I fell about his lies and his scams and him taking money from stupid people?

      As long as he is feeding and clothing his kids via despicable means then not all the money is going to waste.

      However…..

      What he is doing is not the right way to provide for a family. In my opinion.

      • Bunk X says:

        If what he is doing is illegal, he’d have been busted for fraud a long time ago by his enemies… and he’s got many. Asking for and collecting donations is not illegal, and unless there’s a written or implied contract with any person, no fraud has been committed.

        I’m not a lawyer, but I know that unless the refund amount you’re after is over $2,000, you’re pissing up a rope.

        Wanna buy a jeep for $44? Send me $10 and I’ll tell you how.

      • Bunk X says:

        And that is your opinion.

      • Arachne says:

        I didn’t contribute because after almost 40 years working for lawyers, the downside is I have a suspicious nature. Plus, what the hell was he going to bring to the table on LGF anyway – the BRC has done more to expose Three Chins and the Minions than anything he could do.

        However, he should return any and all monies donated for that LGF effort because it was contributed for a specific purpose and said purpose was never realized. And he should have to give an accounting of the money collected for that purpose.

        Hell, we did a what – five part? – series on his downfall for FREE.

      • Bunk X says:

        Six, not counting the prologue, plus “Revisiting Rathergate.”

  11. swamprat says:

    lee strahan church ( a subsidiary of the church of what’s happenin’ now)

    (H/T Flip Wilson)

    https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=%22send+me+your+money%22+lyrics&sm=3

  12. Daedalus says:

    ISTE :

    Just two minutes ago…

    “Give me money!”

    He’s a clown.

    • Arachne says:

      I’m surprised he has any credibility at all anymore. But he pops up on David Webb’s show on XM — next time I hear him I should email ISTE and give him the call-in number.

  13. ISTE says:

    Bunk X :
    If what he is doing is illegal, he’d have been busted for fraud a long time ago by his enemies… and he’s got many. Asking for and collecting donations is not illegal, and unless there’s a written or implied contract with any person, no fraud has been committed.
    I’m not a lawyer, but I know that unless the refund amount you’re after is over $2,000, you’re pissing up a rope.
    Wanna buy a jeep for $44? Send me $10 and I’ll tell you how.

    I never said what he is doing is illegal.

    Lee Stranahan has been doing this sort of scam for years.

    The earliest we have confirmed is 1998

    What he is doing is running the same scam “send me money and I will…” over different demographics.

    • Arachne says:

      Reminds me of that woman Betty at Democratic Underground back in 2004 or whatever who kept saying they were $10 away from getting the election declared for Kerry. It was quite the joke back then at Dummie Funnies. Send MONEY!

  14. Bunk X says:

    Gotta go watch “Fractured Flickers.” Back later.

  15. Minnow says:

    Barry is fat, ugly and stupid.

    Hey Barry – why you alla’ time gotta hide behind a fifteen year old photo Fatty?

    Hey Barry….. your Mom.

  16. ISTE says:

    Bunk X :
    He’s never blocked me for asking. He said no one who demanded a refund (2 people) would give him a way to do it since it was done via PayPal and he doesn’t have contact info. I suggested he donate it to charity instead. He declined.
    Go figger.

    The reason that nobody is requesting a refund is because they would have to give Stranahan their real contact info and bank account details.

    This should be a red flag to anyone sending money to Stranahan but for some strange reason nobody gives a shit about his honesty, integrity, morals and ethics.

    Every time someone sends money to Stranahan I just laugh! (and God strokes a kitty…)

    P.S. That was a parody on “every time you masturbate God kills a cat”

    • Bunk X says:

      Jeep. $44.

    • Bunk X says:

      Okay, so you got conned and you’re embarrassed, and you’re afraid to reveal yourself to get a refund, and the refund can’t happen unless you set up a PayPal account and reveal yourself and you won’t do it so it’s Stranahan’s fault.

      You bought the ticket but the show was cancelled. Either quit whining or take him to small claims court for ten bucks.

    • Octopus says:

      I need to start helping God with those cats, in the new year. I’ve been a bit remiss lately, in belting the bishop. You have to stay in practice, whatever your instrument. Use it or lose it.

  17. Octopus says:

    There’s a sucker born every minute, and two to take him. Circus philosophy.

    I’m to the point, I barely trust the poor freezing schmuck ringing the bell next to the red bucket. I jam in a buck or some change, though. Somebody’s getting it, who probably needs it more than I do.

  18. Octopus says:

    Do they print these little mantras on slips of paper inserted into the fortune cookies they send to Media Matters paid-subscriveners?

    • Bunk X says:

      IOW: “Let’s promote vague general undefined opinions with no links, backup or facts and pretend it’s awesome insight.”

    • Arachne says:

      Once again, shrieking asshole has no idea what he’s talking about. He couldn’t tell you what the TEA Party stood for (because it’s TEA Party, dumbo – the acronym stands for something – look it up).

    • Because says:

      There’s something kind of Chinese about that tweet. As in, from the book of quotations.

  19. Octopus says:

    Bunk X :
    IOW: “Let’s promote vague general undefined opinions with no links, backup or facts and pretend it’s awesome insight.”

    “A fat old nerd with a ponytail doth not a philosopher prove.”

    • Bunk X says:

      “The Rumpswab bleats to the blind ear of the somnambulist, yet is heard only by the attentive eye of the Fuldkommen Gak.”
      — Kukkuk

  20. Bunk X says:

    Octopus :
    I predict Garage Boy (not to be confused with Pajama Boy) will tweet 100 useless tweets on Christmas Eve and Christmas, to go with 50 comments and one self-authored post.

    I predict two brief rambling pages, one complaining about corporate greed in the Christmas Season, and the other about how the big corporations refuse to support Gus’s personal vision of greedy entitlements owed to Gus.

    No idea how often he’ll post, but I predict his average word count will be three per.

    • Arachne says:

      I predict he will snark about how Christmas is all commercial and yakka yakka. Probably because Sis gave him a plaid onesie and a cup of cocoa for Christmas.

  21. Pakimon says:

    I predict Gus will try mightily to ignore the Christmas mocking and ridicule attention we sad sacks are giving him and instead give in to his urge to honk and bleat about it.

    His willpower shall collapse like his architectural “magnum opus”.

    He’s been haunted by it to this day. 😆

  22. Pakimon says:

    I got your magical piano right here… – Octopus

    Very nice but we need something more bouncy to get the blood flowing for that last minute frantic and panic filled Christmas shopping!

    “Now is ze time on Sprockets vhen ve dance!” 😆

  23. Pakimon says:

    The Pakimog Holiday Quote of The Year:

    “I got a boner when I walked into the office today when I saw you,” – New York Assemblyman Dennis Gabryszak – Democrat

    Pakimog say no woman could resist such wooing! 😆 😆

    http://nypost.com/2013/12/21/desperate-albany-pol-accused-of-propositioning-young-staffers/

  24. Doppel yule says:

    My prediction

    I will be celebrating Christmas all day tomorrow in my warm jammies. Surrounded by my family, getting drunk ( on some good wine from my own cellar) and I will be merrily posting at DoD and mocking Gus, who will be getting drunk( if he can steal some booze from his sister) and sitting in a cold garage spanking it to the free previews of internet pR0n ( if he can boost some free internet signal from his sister, and find a power outlet) and then posting at LGF

    Merry Christmas you filthy animal

  25. rightymouse says:

    My prediction is that Gus will take Hoosier Hoops up on his invitation to move in with him & they live together in gay abandon. Charles gets jealous & bans both of them in a fit of pique for having WAY too much fun together. The end.

  26. d says:

    Meh-ee Critmuss DOD bastids and beyotches!!

    I predict Gus will have a banner year of epic Chunk butt sniffing. And then maybe get banned. That’s just how Chunky rolls.

  27. d says:

    Chunk is on a crusade that everyone knows Phil Robertson and anyone with traditional values are cretins. Chunk is really worked up over Phil and says he spews gay hating vitriol and disguises caveman hatred with good ole bible-thumping just like the entire political right who are all GOP Nazis and KKK members. It doesn’t matter what clarifications Phil gives now, he is forever a gay hating knuckledragging troglodyte in Chunk’s book because let’s face it, Chunk already hated him for having a southern accent and a hillbilly beard.

    Oh sure, Obunglecare is a catastrophic failure of epic proportions and Preezydent Obungle made a huge ass of himself at pretty much every turn this year ending it by having a staffer sign HIM up for Obunglecare as a PR stunt while he jets off for fun in the sun in Hawaii at taxpayer expense and millions others are still waiting to get into the website after Obungle made their health insurance get cancelled. IOW Nontroversy!

    Instead of talking about any real issues related to Preezydent Obungle’s failed 5 years in office Chunk posts a picture of a giraffe because um open thread old school er something and Gus constitutes 10% of the comments.

    • Doppel yule says:

      Charles is a pathetic and disgusting man. he is rotting from within. he has no soul. he’s a ghoul and his unhappiness drips off of every keystroke on his computer.

      that’s why he banned all the joyful souls from his blog and surrounds himself with people even more miserable than he.

      I would feel sorry for him if he wasn’t such a dick

  28. Pakimon says:

    The irony of Chunky calling someone else “a narcissistic egomaniac”.

    I can’t even… 😆

  29. d says:

    Good to have handy tomorrow either way. But particularly when some relative actually tries to talk up the benefits of Obunglecare. Like one who’s underwear and socks that only used to be white are in your dishwasher and they’re stealing power from your garage to wax Marxisty on the interwebz:

    WHISKEY SOUR PUNCH
    1 (6 oz.) can frozen orange juice
    1 (6 oz.) can lemonade
    1 tbsp. Angostura Bitters
    2 tbsp. sugar
    2 (32 oz.) bottles club soda
    1-2 pkg. whiskey sour mix
    Maraschino cherries
    Orange slices
    Ice ring
    1-2 c. whiskey

    Mix together orange juice, lemonade, bitters, sugar, soda and whiskey sour mix. Pour in punch bowl. Add ice ring. Add orange slices, cherries and whiskey to taste. Double or triple for large group. Excellent for showers and parties.
    This can be made the day before and stored in gallon bottles in refrigerator. Garnish with orange slices and cherries when used

    • rightymouse says:

      i’m making a Thai soup and curry for tomorrow. 🙂
      That, and someone bought us a marvelous bottle of bourbon. 🙂

  30. d says:

    This has to be heard to be believed. It’s the 12 days of Christmas from Planned Parenthood except instead of traditional gifts each round is a type of contraception gift. I didn’t listen long enough to hear if their true love eventually gave them an abortion, as well. Or maybe just a punch in the stomach or a shove down a flight of stairs to a concrete floor. Git ‘er done! Not only is it sang terribly but also kind of nervously and ghoulish. Like they’re trying to convince themselves they’re good little superior Obamabot proggies but know deep down it’s a macabre mockery of what Christmas is actually about. Chunk would majorly approve! He should offer to be their backup guitar for next year. They need some Grammy winning funkaliciousness in there to really sell that death to babies sizzle for the holiday season.

  31. Octopus says:

    Something to do when you have a few free minutes. I have to admit, they nailed me down perfectly with this one — even shaded from Detroit to upstate New York, where I was born. 😯

    http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2013/12/20/sunday-review/dialect-quiz-map.html?r=824240t0080011200j001040000001050j0l008020000j0400&_r=0

    • Pakimon says:

      That quiz pegged me perfectly too.

      Philadelphia dialect (were I grew up) with a very strong shading of N.E. Florida (were I’ve lived for the past 20 years).

      It’s like the NY Times was inside my brain! 😮 😆

  32. Octopus says:

    I also predict that Gus will, in the New Year, change his life dramatically for the better by doing what George Costanza did in that classic “Seinfeld” episode: Doing the exact opposite of what he would normally do, in every situation. George, for instance, would tell a girl he’s just met that he’s unemployed and lives with his parents, instead of making up some story about being an architect, just in town to work on a big project, in between big projects all over the world. The girl would be so impressed with his honesty, she’d go out with him, and then he’d continue to succeed with her by doing everything differently than he had his entire life.

    Gus will also admit to being unemployed, living in his sister’s garage, and forego the usual flim-flam about being an architect. I can’t guarantee 100% that he will have the same short-term success that George enjoyed, but hey, it’s worth a shot. Or, a bunch of shots, of his favorite drink, Five O’Clock Vodka. Slainte, Gustav! 🙂

    Now to the mall, for one last gift….pray for me! 😯

    • Pakimon says:

      Six and a half hours later and no word from Octo.

      Hope he wasn’t involved is a horrific shopping cart collision or had a run-in with a crazed psychotic mall Santa.

      • d says:

        I know. I went to the grocery around 1 and it was wall to wall people. Luckily I had less than 15 items and went through express to get the hell out of there.

      • Octopus says:

        The mall wasn’t too bad, and I got what I wanted. The craziness started later, when we had some unexpected guests show up at the house, along with some “Christmash cheer” and movies to watch. I’m pretty beat, right now.

  33. d says:

    The Twelve Days of Christmas
    On the first day of Christmas
    Charles Johnson gave to me:
    A Pamtrum in a Pear Tree

    On the second day of Christmas
    Charles Johnson gave to me:
    2 Jazzy noodlings
    and a Pamtrum in a Pear Tree

    On the third day of Christmas
    Charles Johnson gave to me:
    3 Phil’s a cretins
    2 Jazzy noodlings
    and a Pamtrum in a Pear Tree

    On the fourth day of Christmas
    Charles Johnson gave to me:
    4 ICYMIs
    3 Phil’s a cretins
    2 Jazzy noodlings
    and a Pamtrum in a Pear Tree

    On the fifth day of Christmas
    Charles Johnson gave to me:
    5 Stern Warn-ings!
    4 ICYMIs
    3 Phil’s a cretins
    2 Jazzy noodlings
    and a Pamtrum in a Pear Tree

    On the sixth day of Christmas
    Charles Johnson gave to me:
    6 Outraged brayings
    5 Stern Warn-ings!
    4 ICYMIs
    3 Phil’s a cretins
    2 Jazzy noodlings
    and a Pamtrum in a Pear Tree

    On the seventh day of Christmas
    Charles Johnson gave to me:
    7 Vapid Vimeos
    6 Outraged brayings
    5 Stern Warn-ings!
    4 ICYMIs
    3 Phil’s a cretins
    2 Jazzy noodlings
    and a Pamtrum in a Pear Tree

    On the eighth day of Christmas
    Charles Johnson gave to me:
    8 Greenwald seethings
    7 Vapid Vimeos
    6 Outraged brayings
    5 Stern Warn-ings!
    4 ICYMIs
    3 Phil’s a cretins
    2 Jazzy noodlings
    and a Pamtrum in a Pear Tree

    On the ninth day of Christmas
    Charles Johnson gave to me:
    9 Java script tips
    8 Greenwald seethings
    7 Vapid Vimeos
    6 Outraged brayings
    5 Stern Warn-ings!
    4 ICYMIs
    3 Phil’s a cretins
    2 Jazzy noodlings
    and a Pamtrum in a Pear Tree

    On the tenth day of Christmas
    Charles Johnson gave to me:
    10 Nontroversies
    9 Java script tips
    8 Greenwald seethings
    7 Vapid Vimeos
    6 Outraged brayings
    5 Stern Warn-ings!
    4 ICYMIs
    3 Phil’s a cretins
    2 Jazzy noodlings
    and a Pamtrum in a Pear Tree

    On the eleventh day of Christmas
    Charles Johnson gave to me:
    11 Hateful Twitters
    10 Nontroversies
    9 Java script tips
    8 Greenwald seethings
    7 Vapid Vimeos
    6 Outraged brayings
    5 Stern Warn-ings!
    4 ICYMIs
    3 Phil’s a cretins
    2 Jazzy noodlings
    and a Pamtrum in a Pear Tree

    On the first day of Christmas
    Charles Johnson gave to me:
    12 Banned Commenters
    11 Hateful Twitters
    10 Nontroversies
    9 Java script tips
    8 Greenwald seethings
    7 Vapid Vimeos
    6 Outraged brayings
    5 Stern Warn-ings!
    4 ICYMIs
    3 Phil’s a cretins
    2 Jazzy noodlings
    and a Pamtrum in a Pear Tree

  34. just checked in on Gus quick before heading out to the family, and yea, he’s busy. lol

  35. Pakimon says:

    ‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through The Swamp

    Not a moonbat was stirring and no furries did romp;

    The tweets were posted on the internet with care,

    In hopes that Glenn Greenwald would be reading them there;

    The Chunkster was nestled all snug in his bed,

    While visions of relevance danced in his head;

    With his crusted ‘kerchief, and his pony-tail cap,

    He had just settled down for a long winter’s nap,

    When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

    He waddled from his bed to see what was the matter.

    Away to the window he flew like a flash,

    Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

    The moon on the breast of the long dead grass

    Gave lustre to the “land mines” dropped straight from Gus’ ass,

    When, what did his beady eyes should spy,

    But the Boiler Room Crew and that Bunky guy,

    With evil laughter they moved, so lively and quick,

    Chunky knew in a moment it must be those DoD pricks.

    More rapid than Eagles the stalkers they came,

    And Daedalus whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

    “Now, ChenZhen! now, Bunk X! now, Arachne and Briareus!

    On, Octo! on Rightymouse! on, Abu and Crankypants Zeus!

    To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

    Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!”

    As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

    When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,

    So up to the house-top the stalkers they flew,

    With the sleigh full of sockpuppets, and The Boiler Room Crew.

    And then, in a twinkling, Chunky heard on the roof

    It was the stalkers stomping and now he had proof

    As Chunky drew in his head, and was turning around,

    Down the chimney the DoD gang came with a bound.

    Chunky shook with rage from his head to his foot,

    And his clothes were all tarnished with Cheetos dust and soot;

    A deflated Ms. Sssss lay on his rack,

    And he looked like a middle-aged has-been and an internet hack.

    His eyes — how they squinted! his dimples how doughy!

    His cheeks were quite flabby, his manboobs quite showy!

    His mean little mouth was drawn down in a frown,

    And the stubble on his chin was both gray and brown;

    The stump of The Ban Stick he held tight in his grip,

    And from his ass the brown notes did constantly slip;

    He had a fat face and a big round belly,

    That shook, when he screamed like a bowlful of jelly.

    He was chubby and plump, a right angry old elf,

    And Daedalus laughed when he saw him, in spite of himself;

    A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

    Soon gave Chunky to know he had everything to dread;

    The DoD gang spoke not a word, but went straight to their work,

    They took a dump in Chunk’s living room, then turned with a jerk,

    And Daedalus laying his finger aside of his nose,

    And giving a nod, up the chimney they rose;

    Daedalus sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

    And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

    But Chunky heard them exclaim, ere they drove out of sight,

    “Merry Christmas you fat bastard, and to all a good-night.”

    Merry Christmas to all you sadsack stalker hooligans! 😀

  36. Pakimon says:

    I think Gus is having trouble comprehending the basic concept of Twitter. 😆

  37. Juan Epstein says:

    He is going to don his gay apparel and blow his own duck call.