I just can’t even.

What, Charles? You just can’t even what?

During the last week or so, Charles has been having some difficulty expressing himself. It seems that he can’t do something and wants to talk about it, but at the last moment he gets all verklempt and pulls back.

canteven

Perhaps he’s just trying out some new ultra-cool jazzy hipster lingo phrase to replace “Oh, brother” or “Whatever, man”. However, I prefer to think he’s trying to tell us something. Maybe we can help him find the words. What do you think it is that Charles just can’t even?


241 Comments on “I just can’t even.”

  1. Minnow says:

    His transformation appears to be complete. Charles is now a 13-year old girl.

    • Doppel B DeMilyo says:

      With the biggest tits* in the 7th grade

      * that’s why all the young boys love him so

  2. sven10077 says:

    It’s pretty profound alright… the sad thing is old BikeBoy the Jazz Falutist cannot grasp that there is no good answer here. The horrific thing is his inability to recognize that perhaps Barack Obama should not have empowered the Muslim Brotherhood in the first place. In diplomacy there is often the smart thing, and the other thing Jharles Chonson is a fan of the “other thing.”

  3. sven10077 says:

    Minnow :
    His transformation appears to be complete. Charles is now a 13-year old girl.

    Chaz has his inner Bieber fan on. Will Chaz blame St. SCOAMF in the White House for the deaths IPAB causes?

    Doubtful, Obamacles only renders the good.

  4. danrudy says:

    I just can’t even….

    1. See my toes anymore.
    2. Walk up a flight of stairs.
    3. Stop thinking about what if things worked out with Pam.
    4. Stop wondering if those were or were not my tweeted jockey shorts.
    5. Seem to stock enough cheetohs
    6. Stop seeing racists everywhere I look

  5. Because says:

    Just poop.

  6. windbag says:

    Has Chuckles weighed in on the Nazi Forest yet? He can’t even…lots of stuff…but one thing he’s good at is detecting Nazis. I wonder why he didn’t break this story?

    http://www.spiegel.de/international/germany/mystery-of-nazi-swastikas-in-the-forests-a-909726.html

  7. Minnow says:

    Charles is typical of most elderly people.

    • Grinning Cat says:

      Maybe our marvelous president would call him a typical elderly white person.

    • Because says:

      Most seniors don’t live on cheetos and mt dew and spend all their time arguing with strangers on twitter. There is a “get off my lawn” quality to his tweets and blog posting, though.

      • Minnow says:

        I mainly just wanted to remind his Chubness that he is, in fact, elderly.

        And old. And enfeebled. And his digestive tract and his heart aren’t working as well as they use to due to his fatness. All recent photos of the elderly one show him to be a pasty faced, overweight racist.

      • The Osprey says:

        More like “get off my website”!

  8. Medchemmer says:

    These crusty hipster memes he throws out to look cool for the kids are embarrassing for man of his age and girth to use. He would probably wear skinny jeans if they didn’t make him look like the Michelin Man.

    • Arachne says:

      He reminds me of the women I see in San Francisco who are in their 50’s and early 60’s desperately trying to look hip. Overly made up, miniskirts and skimpy tops, leggings and seven-inch heels. Your disco days are over honeys – live with it.

  9. Minnow says:

    Chub doesn’t need to concern himself with Agenda 21. He ought to be more concerned about the Agenda 52 waist size in his elastic pants.

  10. Minnow says:

    “I just can’t even” is yet another attempt to gain attention of any sort from anyone. Yawn.

  11. Now this is the kind of baseball that I could watch all day:

    • Pakimon says:

      Pakimog give lithe stretchy first pitches brontosaurus burger seal of approval! 😆

      • Thomas de Bohun says:

        Here’s your Final Exam: (Skip ahead to 2:55 on the following video and behold the awesome power of Korean Gals)…

        South Korean Saturday Night Live is Eons ahead of the shiatty US version, and as a bonus, no Ozero, cock-sucking assmunch Celebutards…

      • Pakimon says:

        The korean version of “Hot for Teacher” 😆

    • dwells38 says:

      Yeah I can’t decide which one’s cuter. The tawny gorgeous beautiful one or the tawny gorgeous…oh never mind.

    • Pakimon says:

      As to which was the better pitch:

      The actress wins the “stretch” and “windup” categories.

      The gymnast wins the “delivery” category. :mrgreen:

  12. swamprat says:

    What a sitch!

    He’s speaking in the valley dialect

    • Minnow says:

      he probably twirls his granny hair in his fingers as he’s typing that shit.

      What a dick.

  13. Daedalus says:

    Charles hates Pinochet because he turned that nation into a 1st world Capitalist country. Charles is a bigot.

  14. Grinning Cat says:

    And now for something more lighthearted. Apparently a locksmith had to be called into the Zimmerman trial courtroom and subsequently a creepy ass crack was sighted. 😆

  15. Daedalus says:

    Charles really needs mental help. We are witnessing the rantings of an insane and sick man.

  16. Grinning Cat says:

    Let’s try to put all of Chunky’s favorite phrases together.
    “You’re clearly trying to rob me of my will to live. I just can’t even. This is me, bidding you adieu.”

    And in related news…this was a funny twitter exchange. Charles is probably desperately hoping she looks something like her picture 🙂

  17. Doppel B DeMilyo says:

    I just can’t even – see my penis penis penis LOL

  18. Because says:

  19. Stabby says:

    “you need mental help”
    – your friendly stalker.

    I find this very funny.

    • Stabby says:

      Ah the “quote button” doesn’t make it a reply.

      It was supposed to be a reply to Daedalus’ comment.

      • Because says:

        No. “Reply” means reply. “Quote” means quote. And “retard” means retard.

      • Pakimon says:

        Baron Chunkonnen still won’t let you back into The Bog.

        You interfered with the flow of Cheetos and that cannot be tolerated.

      • Stabby says:

        Yes well, I probably mentioned in the last thread that the day before he banned me he tried on another excuse… He deleted me saying of Ann Coulter “racist transsexual model says what?” Apparently that showed my hatred of transsexuals… But I made that look silly and the ban hammer had to wait ONE MORE DAY.

    • dwells38 says:

      Yah you can mock the host here.

    • dwells38 says:

      Yeah we’ll, you’re the one in “time out”. Say hi to Daddy after you get back from your punishment time. Lol!

      • Stabby says:

        We both know he’ll never let me back. When I go back through the threads I’m still shocked that when I pointed out that the Muslim Council of Britain boycotted Holocaust Memorial Day that was a sign that they’re a hate group and that holocaust denial is a sign of hate, he said that I was spouting “very ugly stuff:”

        I think about that and I just get this WHAT THE FUCK look on my face.

      • dwells38 says:

        Spot on Stabby!

  20. swamprat says:

    now playing

    “you’ll probably never know”

    Abu Qatada deported from UK to stand trial in Jordan

    sung by the Generally Unreported On LGF Singers

    also playing

    longest run of more than 7 point 5 unemployment

    sung by The Most Progressive President We’ve Ever Had

  21. swamprat says:

    your moment of lgf wtf:

    A defense of the NSA, from the left: “By delegitimizing the government the Left is doing the Tea Party’s dirty work” inthesetimes.com/article/15221/… 3 hours ago

    By following standard leftist tactics the left is making the left look bad? Well, I’ve often seen it that way too!

  22. swamprat says:

    “the most progressive president ever”

    progressing into a “hunger games” type of senario?

  23. HaikuMan says:

    Because :
    No. “Reply” means reply. “Quote” means quote. And “retard” means retard.

  24. Doppel B DeMilyo says:

    Stabby :
    “you need mental help”
    – your friendly stalker.
    I find this very funny.

    Just flip the last two
    And you have a nice haiku
    I bid you adieu

    • Stabby says:

      While I love the imagery of Japanese Haiku, my brain just doesn’t get the rhythm. It doesn’t SOUND like anything. I bet it makes more sense in multisylabic Japanese.

      In order to get the spelling of rhythm I typed “beat me with your r” into the google window and let it autocomplete.

  25. Pakimon says:

    I just can’t even – He of The Jazzy Ponytail Corpulence

    1) Be relevant anymore

    2) Stop fantasizing about Pam’s boobies

    3) Get up from my chair to use the bathroom

    4) Get all the piss into the Mountain Dew bottle without spilling it on my keyboard

    5) Stop eating Cheetos

    6) Stop obsessively tweeting the same LGF link over and over.

    7) Decide if I want to be a Leftist or a “pragmatic centrist”

    • Stabby says:

      Where did the Mountain Dew bottle thing come from? Because unless you’re very sick and can hardly walk then there’s no excuse…

      • Pakimon says:

        Awhile back, Chunkles commented that he was so obsessed with a video game he was playing that he urinated into an empty Mountain Dew bottle rather than get up and use the bathroom.

        Since then, it’s become part of Jazzy Ponytail lore.

  26. Pakimon says:

    Here you go. Charles Johnson in a nutshell.

    http://tackyraccoons.com/tag/diary-of-daedalus/

  27. Doppel milyo kubler ross stages of a dead LGF account says:

    I just can’t even
    Survive without a dinger
    reply means quote, right?

    I just can’t even
    Understand the D of D
    there are no top tens

    I just can’t even
    wash the stain of charles off me
    out out damned green spot

    I just can’t even
    believe I waited so long
    to leave that shit hole

    I just can’t even
    believe I can speak my mind!
    this place is awesome

    • Stabby says:

      I’ve told them that the dinger is stupid and pointed that they ding arguments that they’re incapable of answering. I made it sting enough that they backed off on the dinging a lot.

      Of course his dinger was deliberately designed to institute a sort of shallow peer pressure, and he seems to favor shallow disapproval over argument anyway.

      A couple times I told him that the system is working as it was designed to keep his blog shallow.

    • Stabby says:

      I don’t think I’m ever gonna find Blogmocracy “awesome”.

      It’s got a fucking picture of Ronald Reagan and some silly “socialism=failure” quote at the top. It’s just missing Paul Ryan doing curls and Ayn Rand looking like a sociopathic Dr Ruth.

  28. dwells38 says:

    Here’s me. Color me so not even.

  29. trebob says:

    Stabby :
    “you need mental help”
    – your friendly stalker.
    I find this very funny.

    Before you’re gone Stabby, would you be so kind as to enlighten me on the proper definition of “Stalker”?

    You see, we read and comment on the public comments of a blog and the person who is that blog (“I am LGF. It is all me.”). You and others from LGF seem to feel that commenting makes everyone here a “stalker”.

    Yet, Charles, and others at LGF, also read and comment on the pubic comments of blogs and their owners. How is it they are not stalkers?

    We do not post private information regarding others. Charles has sought out and posted private information on more than one of the members of this blog. Why is seeking private information of someone not stalking?

    We never made a shrieking harpy rant generator to humiliate a former poster did we?

    So, if you could please, tell me how we are stalkers and Charles is not. What are the specific differences that you see which separates the stalker from the blogger?

    • Stabby says:

      Well, MY take is that you’re obsessing a bit much.
      Look at all the posts on whatever Johnson does.
      He’s not that fascinating.
      The every twist and turns of whatever his current topic interest are:
      1) aren’t unusual or horrible
      2) aren’t interesting
      3) aren’t a sign of deep mental illness or anything else

      And you know, he doesn’t have a very likeable web persona and he screwed over a lot of people who used to reside on his blogging platform, but that doesn’t make him interesting.

      He’s just some prickly, self righteous ass with a blog platform that used to have a large following before he banned everyone. Oh and of course you noticed that I have similar politics to him, but that doesn’t mean that I like him in the slightest – cause friendly he isn’t.

      To quote the Hitch Hiker’s guide “he’s just this guy, you know?”

      • poteen2 says:

        You misread the purpose of this place. We are not obsessed stalkers. We are facilitators,,, enablers. We truly want Charlie to realize the one truth of his blog life. That it is ‘only him’.
        And his importance in the grand internet scheme of life, mine anyway, comes long after billpays, e-mail checks, business letters, news checks and a little Japanese porn. Then it’s fuck with Charlie time.
        If no cake, then buy some donuts you cheap bastard.

      • poteen2 says:

        He’s just some prickly, self righteous ass with a blog platform that used to have a large following before he banned everyone.

        On this, you are correct and all here quite concur.

      • Pakimon says:

        Of course he’s interesting but for only one reason.

        He’s the embodiment of buffoonery.

        It’s fascinating to watch someone endlessly beclown himself every single day.

        It’d be one thing if he was just some inept but well meaning person bumbling through each day on Twitter and a blog but as you said yourself, he’s a “prickly, self righteous ass”.

        Therefore, it’s great sport to mock and ridicule him without mercy.

        Especially since he and his little band of sycophants obsessively read here all the time even though they deny it.

      • Stabby says:

        Though on the “friendly he isn’t” line, that goes for the rest of them too. Most of them were so offended that I wasn’t going to submit to some sort of “correct yourself to the PC groupthink – here’s your list of approved words and opinions” conformity that I can only think of one regular commenter didn’t go “Lord of the Flies” on me. And actually I think he did for a while, then seemed to shake it off and become relatively friendly.

      • poteen2 says:

        You weren’t the first but you are near the last.

      • doppel portion says:

        you need a good high colonic to get rid of a few pounds of Charles’ spooge

        it’s all good here. the mocking and witnessing of the daily beclowning can’t be beaten

        and like the cat that plays with the cockroach for as long as it can, we enjoy calling out Charles and bursting his fantasy that he can say what he likes and that the reality exists only amongst the dozen fucktards that stay at LGF…..excuse me, it’s down to 11

    • Stabby says:

      Anyway what I found most funny was this image:

      A stalker watches a young woman through her window every night using powerful telescope, then one day he calls her up and tells her that she looks a mess, should start taking better care of herself again, needs to see a doctor, otherwise he might have to stop fapping to her.

      • ISpeakJive says:

        Some people watch soap operas, we watch a donkey opera daily.

      • Because Milyo says:

        OMG. Don’t. Just don’t. Now I’m going to have nightmares of Brunhilde on a donkey with a brass bra.

  30. Pakimon says:

    What I find very funny is that a lot of Bog dwellers who’ve gotten “the stick” from Chunkles and stop by here seem to follow the exact same pattern of behavior.

    Especially when their banning is the subject of a DoD thread.

    They come in and after making a few prefunctory derisive remarks about The Chunkster, they start to bristle at any mockery of His Royal Chunkiness and/or his “beliefs”.

    They then proceed to “shit-stirrer” mode and start making snide remarks about Republicans, The Tea Party, Conservatives, Pam Gellar, “stalkers”, etc. as if they think Chunky and his handful of sycophants are watching and they hope to curry forgiveness and favor.

    They honk and bleat that they have the same ideology as Kim Chunk-Cheeto and that they were banned because of some obscure point or that they were merely trying to keep The Chunkster “honest” or some such thing.

    The hilarious part is that supposedly Chunky and his little half-wits never read here, at least according to them.

    It’s as if they’re hoping and praying that if they put on a good show of “shit-stirring” at “The Stalker Blog”, Chunky will e-mail them that all is forgiven and they will return to The Bog and be showered with praise and accolades for having smote the evil stalkerz in their lair.

    Sadly, that’s never the case and they usually slink off into oblivion, never to be seen again but always having a longing for The Jazzy ponytail buried deep in their sad little hearts. 😆

    • swamprat says:

      I don’t see it that way. I see them as being astounded that they weren’t leftwing enough for LGF, or that Lgf was so rigid in leftwing doctrine that a conflict resulted.

      A conflict to the left of center often results in a “purge”. If they understood history, they would get this. They come here and declare that they are still leftwingers but charles is a smuck.

      Well, they have the right to cling to their 1930’s ideology and they have a right to their opinion about charles. They have shown the ability to learn and that’s a start.

      They aren’t the first to get kicked in the teeth by their Komrades and they won’t be the last.

      keywords: gulag stalin trotskey lenin French Revolution mao antirevolutionary Pol Pot.

      • swamprat says:

        the reason communism/progress/liberalism has to rely on undemocratic methods like purges, forced labor, taxation devoid of representation, media manipulation and propaganda is that the system is inherently flawed. In it’s pure form it doesn’t work and in its standard form it is merely a cloak for tyranny. It is a rich nation indeed that can afford the purer form but the flaws in the system invaribly deplete the host so that the spiral into oppression is unavoidable.
        It don’t work. If it were a car, it would be a Yugo.

      • Pakimon says:

        I’m talking about Bog sycophants that were banned long after the “great purge”.

        There are few exceptions but most haven’t shown the ability to learn anything and long to be readmitted to the comforting embrace of Chunkles’ moob bosom.

        Why else do they come here and after a few half hearted mockings of The Chunkster, begin to defend their former god master and show their ass?

        It’s obvious to all but the most dim-witted that DoD is a little blog dedicated to mocking and ridiculing a ponytailed pathetic jackass who richly deserves it not because of his ideology but because he’s a sniveling dickhead.

        Even when it’s pointed out to them that if they want to engage in political debate that The Blogmocracy would be a suitable platform, they invariably decline

        Instead, they continue their passive-aggressive trolling for a few days until the regulars here from all sides of the political spectrum grow weary of it and start giving the banned Bog minion the same treatment usually heaped upon The Corpulent Jazzy Ponytail and his little band of imbeciles.

        I get your point but I think that lately it seems that it applies more to the exceptions rather than the majority of Banned Bog minions that stop by here after incurring The Wrath of The Jazzy Ponytail.

      • rightymouse says:

        Yeah? Well it would work if we just did enough of it and killed all the wreckers. Oh…wait…. Russia, China, Cambodia…etc. etc. Never mind.

      • swamprat says:

        they read here

        they know what we say goes way past cheetos, ponytails, corpulent and , I have to admit, political

      • Pakimon says:

        To be fair, there is a kind of rocky “Post Bog Decompression Phase” that people seem to go through when they arrive and I always hope that once they “decompress”, they’ll settle in comfortably here in “The Village of The Banned” or at The Mother Blog.

      • Stabby says:

        A conflict to the left of center often results in a “purge”.

        That’s most true on “radical” socialist or communist sites.

        That Harry’s Place I sometimes hang at likes to make fun of the British left, so I’ve occasionally followed a link to a few far left Brit sites. There isn’t a one of them that doesn’t instantly delete any argument that doesn’t follow whatever party line they’ve invented. Even if the “party” is just a couple who think they look good in leather jackets together.

        Though lets be honest, back when Pajamas Media wasn’t totally astroturfed, they would only let a liberal get about 10 comments in any thread – then I’d be banned from the thread as soon as the first round of answers came and everyone could assume that I didn’t respond because I was so overwhelmed by their brilliance.

        Heh, then 2 weeks later the ban for responding to that author would be lifted so I could go back and raise their egos by being banned mid-argument again..

    • Stabby says:

      Well LGF is currently a wingnut abuse blog, if we didn’t like abusing wingnuts we wouldn’t have been there >.>

      I used to hang around Pajamas Media and be shocked at the ODS between reading Michael Totten columns (the reason I was really there). [he’s now here: http://www.worldaffairsjournal.org/blogs/michael-j-totten ] I’m sure you wouldn’t have enjoyed my attacks on Obama Derangement Syndrome, nor on the “Zimmerman is my hero, show me your gun big guy! / We ALL should be able to shoot any kid who reminds us of Tryvon Martin” threads.

      • Pakimon says:

        Actually, LGF attempts to “abuse wingnuts” but they’re pretty inept at it.

        Just the standard pap farted out by moonbats all over the internet.

        I don’t understand why you keep bringing that same type of semi-coherent, inane pap over here.

        We don’t care if you’re slavish supporter of the Choomster in Chief.

        We don’t care if you’re a worshiper of St. Tray-Tray.

        You’re just wasting your time because as it’s been pointed out before, Chunkles will not welcome you back to his moobish man bosom no matter how much you “act out”.

        Believe me, many a banned moonbat have rolled through here and tried the same tired routine and always with the same result.

        Just trying to save you some time.

      • Stabby says:

        You don’t get it, this is my thing. I didn’t learn it from Charles. I did it for years without him and I’m gonna keep doing it.

  31. poteen2 says:

    And they never bring cake.

  32. Because says:

    “I just can’t even.”

    But you odd pretty well.

  33. pat says:

    The formerly respect Pat Condell:
    http://patdollard.com/2013/07/watch-must-see-pat-condell-our-crippling-fear-of-the-truth/
    On the EDL, which you may remember, is what CJ found to be Pam’s secret racist leanings.

  34. swamprat says:

    charles is upset that the Wall Street Journal has decided that the Pinocet government would be a pragmatic ruling model for Egypt. (’cause of the deaths and torture under Pinocet)

    Interesting argument from a leftist loving liberal.

    A liberal that has disavowed any criticism of Islam.

    And supports abortion.

  35. Because You Forgot the "ICYMI" says:

  36. Because Who Gives a Crap? says:

  37. Pakimon says:

    Jazzy Ponytail Productions presents:

    Footloose III: Argentinian Reboot starring Gus_802

    😆

  38. ISpeakJive says:

    35 A MOM ANOM Sunday, July 7, 2013.
    Re: #34 femnazibitch
    “Oh noes. The womenz in his church aren’t all supermodels. Poor guy. Poor guy who can go fuck himself. Sideways. With a rusty farm implement.”

    Just a random comment from the bog on a beautiful Sunday morning. Such anger over there. I’m guessing somehow that hits home for her. Nice crowd you hang with Chunkles! Cream O’ the Crop!

  39. Because Greenwald, Greenwald, Pam, Greenwald, Greenwald says:

    Greenwald, Greenwald…

  40. swamprat says:

    Made charles johnson part with the left

    #GreenwaldSnowdenBrags

  41. rightymouse says:

    I just can’t even… 😆

    • swamprat says:

      and even if you could

    • Pakimon says:

      Pakimog say to rightymouse, nice try but Pakimog will not use that video girl in next Satuday morning yoga/exercise extravaganza to counter your hairy bulgy men in speedos onslaught.

      Pakimog on to your plan to derail Pakimog defense system!

      Pakimog know you clever and tricksy! 😆 😀

  42. swamprat says:

    This explains a lot about Greenwald’s agenda – his world view is simply childish

    …from the man who thinks the Obama administration should allow Quantanamo inmates to starve themselves to death

  43. ElSuerte says:

    Stabby-
    The LGF treatment of new ‘hatchlings’ is one of the things that really turned me off of that blog.
    I’d just gotten an account there and started in a discussion about global warming and the spread of mosquito born diseases. I had just taken the position that the presence of mosquitoes in Florida isn’t dispositive of global warming when one of the resident high nutjobs, LudwigVanQuixote (who’s since gotten the icepick), started ranting that I was really some guy called Bagua, one of the DoD ‘stalkers.’
    I got banned a couple days later for posting a link to a Dave Weigle article, of all things.

    • swamprat says:

      Yeah and I probably never said a word.

    • Stabby says:

      Maybe one day I’ll write an article about how the culture of internet forums tends to deteriorate. The problem is that any description of any forum’s history that’s accurate enough to be fair ends up being 99.99% really petty gossip about people’s attitudes.

      • Pakimon says:

        Internet forums do have a tendency to get clannish as time goes on and inevitably a hierarchy and a pecking order gets established.

        I think it’s human nature.

        I’ve noticed here that we’ve fortunately appeared to have bucked that trend at least so far.

        Maybe it has something to do with not having to register to post here.

        Having it wide open and registration free seems to keep it from being like you’re joining a private club.

      • Stabby says:

        Well LGF is a place where, for a long time, they had a JOB. And that job was banning people. So the people who are left are people who love going all wolf-pack and fucking some guy up.

        And Charles doesn’t say much but when he does, he’s encouraging it.

        The culture is what he made it. If you don’t like it you leave or are banned, period.

    • Pakimon says:

      The paranoia about “stalker sock puppets” was rampant over in The Bog at the time of The Great and Ongoing Strawberry Heist”.

      If I recall, Wenchwrench was the self proclaimed Hatchling Inspector and was instrumental in many a hatchling fleeing because of the anal exam she inflicted on them.

      If a hatchling refused to submit, she’d denounce them as a stalker and they got The Stick.

      I wonder how many bona fide sycophant wannabes she cost Chunky in her zeal to ferret out evil stalker spies… 😆

      • Stabby says:

        The one who impresses me is Obdicut. He’s such a bullshit artist that I think he LIKES losing arguments, so he can just glide effortlessly into pure bullshit where he deliberately misinterprets the meanings of words, uses endless fallacies of literalism, and walks away from a facade of straw men so high it rivals the world’s tallest skyscraper.

        I think he’s actually relieved at reaching that moment when he no longer has to argue and can just make up 100% bullshit and libel and the other person just shakes their head in disbelief, and he and wrenchwench declare victory!

      • Pakimon says:

        I like to call it “The OB Method”.

        “Why are you saying I’m a bullshit artist?!

        “How do you know I misinterpret words and use fallacies?!”

        “Do you know what a straw man is?!”

        “Why do you think I’m relieved?!”

        “Why won’t you answer my questions?!”

        Classic Obdicut. 😆

  44. swamprat says:

    I’m getting all verklempt.

    .
    .
    .
    …stalk amongst yourselves!

  45. snowcrash says:

    Stabby, there is no room at LGF for anyone who doesn’t completely echo Johnson’s opinion. To think otherwise is ridiculous. You probably won’t like it here, but most folks are respectful to each other and newcomers . Mocking Johnson is really the only thing that binds many of us.

    • calo says:

      Stabby’s 15 minutes are over.

      • Stabby says:

        😀 You gonna go Wrenchwench on me?

      • Because Greenwald, Greenwald, Pam, Greenwald, Greenwald says:

        Calo gots it. This isn’t going to end well. He reminds me of a cross between Reggie, Barrett Brown, and Ned. Ned was at least funny in a somewhat intelligent way.

      • Stabby says:

        On the positive side my Jack in the Box take out has extra tacos!

      • Arachne says:

        Agreed – looks like now all he wants to do here is bash conservatives, Republicans and Pam Geller – move along, swampy.

  46. Stabby says:

    I missed Johnson’s wingnut fugue. Someone at Harry’s place just mentioned one of those no doubt deleted threads or comments where Johnson called Obama a socialist terrorist-sympathiser.

    Someone here said he’d “been against big government” … I’d be fascinated to know if he ever railed against health care reform. How deeply of the koolaide did he drink?

    • ISpeakJive says:

      Oh, its much worse than that, lol. Go peruse his archives. If you don’t understand the depth and breadth of his blogging from 2001 to 2008, you can’t understand any of this.

    • LGFisputrid says:

      You gotta read the posts during the ’08 campaign season. Maybe he’s always been socially liberal but he was full blown GOP though he hated Paul.

  47. rightymouse says:

    Because irony… 😆

  48. trebob says:

    Stabby :
    Well, MY take is that you’re obsessing a bit much.[…]He’s not that fascinating.

    I’m just checking to be sure I understand your answer. You classify us as ‘stalkers’ because you feel that Charles isn’t that interesting and because we frequent a blog that reads what is posted at LGF we are ‘obsessed’. Is that right? Because Charles isn’t interesting enough to post about, that makes us stalkers not bloggers/commenters.

    So, by that reasoning, you consider Pam Geller, Robert Spencer, R.S. McCain all to be interesting people who have fascinating things to say right? That’s why the LGF group are not stalkers and we are, have I got that correct, per your opinion?

    And you know, he doesn’t have a very likeable web persona and he screwed over a lot of people who used to reside on his blogging platform, but that doesn’t make him interesting.

    Many, including myself, feel that his screwing over 15,000 people makes him something unique and that in itself can be interesting. It’s rare when you see someone so obviously and quickly wreck something that many people would see as a good thing. It’s the same fascination some people have with Edward Snowden.

    He’s just some prickly, self righteous ass with a blog platform that used to have a large following before he banned everyone. Oh and of course you noticed that I have similar politics to him, but that doesn’t mean that I like him in the slightest – cause friendly he isn’t.

    Excuse me for saying so, but I’m not sure I believe you are telling the truth higher up in the comment. If what you are saying is true, that you think Charles is uninteresting and a “prickly, self righteous ass” and you were an active participant there even though you feel the way you describe, then isn’t it really you who is the LGF stalker? You can call me a stalker but I haven’t given LGF a single mouse click in years, yet you would still be reading there today if allowed to (and you may be via a sock). I think your definition of stalker doesn’t jibe with what you profess is your opinion of Charles considering where you were reading/posting a week ago.

    • trebob says:

      I hate it when I hose up the blockquote thingies. Obviously the ‘prickly, self righteous ass’ paragraph is quoted from Stabby’s comment.

    • Stabby says:

      The 15,000 people thing reminds me of Eddie Izzard:

      Pol Pot killed 1.7 million people.
      We can’t even deal with that! You know, we think if somebody kills someone, that’s murder, you go to prison.
      You kill 10 people, you go to Texas, they hit you with a brick, that’s what they do. 20 people, you go to a hospital, they look through a small window at you forever. And over that, we can’t deal with it, you know?
      Someone’s killed 100,000 people. We’re almost going, “Well done! You killed 100,000 people? You must get up very early in the morning. I can’t even get down the gym!
      Your diary must look odd:
      “Get up in the morning,
      death,
      death,
      death,
      death,
      death,
      death,
      death
      lunch
      death,
      death,
      death
      afternoon tea
      death,
      death,
      death
      quick shower…”

      as for not believing me, did you notice I said that I like the abusing wingnuts part? Sure he’s a prickly bastard, but enjoy some prickiness, just not aimed at me!

      And don’t go all self righteous on this note, I LISTENED TO Pat Buchanan get an ovation at the RNC calling for a culture war in the middle of a speech that had such racist shit in it that you can’t find an unexpurgated transcript. Don’t tell me that only the left plays it harsh.

      I’ll recount that racist shit for you, cause I’m sure you forgot.
      I will never forget these words: “You don’t give these people Head Start programs, you send them to jail!”

      And there he was proclaiming that all poor black preschoolers were criminals who deserve prison rather than education (head start being a preschool program that Sesame Street is based on ). And he meant black because the context was the Rodney King riots.

      • Pakimon says:

        Oh Jeez.

        Stabby’s really working it isn’t he? I don’t think I’ve seen anyone yet who’s displayed such angst over lost Chunkles love. 😆

        “Oh Charles! Lookit me! I’m wingnut abusing the stalkers! I’m doing it for you! Take me back, Please?!”

      • Stabby says:

        Oh calm down pakimon, I’ve never needed CJ in order to be a troll. It comes naturally.

      • Because Milyo says:

        Oh sure you have. Remember Reggie, and how he was going to return and take the place over?

      • Pakimon says:

        I’m actually laughing my ass off observing your desperate antics to entice His Royal Chunkiness to take you back into the fold.

        Try sending him a bouquet of flowers made of Cheetos… 😆

      • trebob says:

        Are you replying to the right comment? You called folks who read and comment on this blog stalkers and I simply asked for a clarification to why we are stalkers, but folks on LGF are not.

        Not sure where all this racist stuff comes from, certainly nothing I posted.

        You don’t post at LGF anymore, you don’t need your rage here.

      • Stabby says:

        Trebob, the thread may be hard to follow but I’m saying that yeah, CJ is self righteous but I act pretty righteous myself. Some righteousness in politics is deeply justified, the other thread to that is that the right is, itself, deep into self righteous trolling.

        Also people here are all freaked out that I can’t stand Pam.
        My point of view is that Pam puts the phobia in xenophobia. CJ is a reformed xenophobe, going back to before anyone ever heard of him, before 9/11. He can’t see that there’s a critique of Islam that’s independent of phobia.

        And telling this to a bunch of conservatives is like playing music in a sign language class.

      • Pakimon says:

        And don’t go all self righteous on this note

        He shouts self-righteously before embarking on a hysterical rant about a speech that Pat Buchanan (allegedly) gave years ago.

        Time to go “Obdicut”!

        WTF was that about?!

        Who gives a crap about Pat Buchanan anymore?

        Why was it even brought up?

        Why won’t you answer me?!

        Stabby’s rant was so “Chunkles-like” in its rage, hysteria and inappropriateness that it’s uncanny.

        I’m starting to think stabby has a lot more in common with Chunkles then he’s willing to admit. 😆

      • Bunk X says:

        In sign language class you can play whatever music you like as loud as you want and nobody complains, except for those in the tatting class next room over.

    • Stabby says:

      To be honest, I get a little ill whenever Geller is quoted.

      I like the political battle with more normal people, the real nuts are just sickening. So maybe I don’t fit in PERFECTLY at LGF.

      I was SO tired of all of the tweets by the worst of them.

      Also gotta run but I’ll try to make a point quickly. Johnson doesn’t see a difference between me and Geller, but I do.

      I know that Muslims have, so far, done a better job of integrating into the US than they have in a lot of other places, Britain for instance. Geller is a phobic person who borrows trouble.

      We don’t actually have a problem with Muslims in this country. I mean, yeah, when Irshad Manji says that the Muslim elementary school she went to in Canada was antisemitic that’s a real problem, and there are probably places like that here. But we don’t have the BIG problems that a lot of other countries have.

      If my argument with Charles and co is that their position that there is nothing worse about Muslim lands and philosophy than western lands and philosophy isn’t backed up by reality – then my argument with Geller is that her paranoia that leads to ugly cleaving to anti-imigrant groups is also not supported by reality. There are serious problems, but not in the United States of America. And even if there were, that wouldn’t excuse her hysteria, nor that her mental state has deteriorated to actual hate, nor that she finds allies among other nutcase haters like pol kon. Nor does that excuse her or the rest of the internet right from letting their comment sections fill up with hate.

      • Arachne says:

        When you say “fill up with hate” would that be the kind of HATE Kilgore Trout filled up the comments section of Hot Air with? Hoosier Hoops over at Ace?

      • Pakimon says:

        A Pamtrum!

        Right here, on “The Stalker Blog”!

        That’s sure to bring on The Jazzy Ponytail love!

        “Look Charles! I’m distracting the stalkerz by trolling so’s they’ll pay attention to me instead of mocking and ridiculing you!”

        I keep telling you, you’re wasting your time.

        Trolling “The Stalker Blog” isn’t going give you the warm sweaty embrace of His Royal Chunkiness.

        Cheetos are the key to the corpulent ponytailed blogger’s
        heart.

        Just trying to help… 😆

      • Daedalus says:

        The reasons do not act up in the US is because they do not have the numbers yet and we have gun rights. If Muslims were 10% of the population then there would be problems. Lebanon is a perfect example. Once Muslims outnumbered Christians, they took the place over ironically with the help of the US.

        I think Islam is a garbage religion. If you disagree, that’;s your right and quite honestly not the reason for this blog. This place is to mock Charles and his delusions of grandeur.

      • Bunk X says:

        Pronounced “grain deer.”

      • Stabby says:

        I wonder if deer like grain. Anyway i like the sound of that. Grain deer!

        Late for an appointment bye!

      • ElSuerte says:

        I’ll readily admit that I’m not a huge fan of Pam Geller. Her tendency towards histrionics turned me off and her pushing of birtherism pretty much killed any support I had left for her.

        Like you, I’ve also been thinking about the anomaly of the Muslim community in the United States. My position is yours but with the modification “There are serious problems, but not in the United States of America YETi*” The larger the Muslim community in America grows, there is less assimilationist or fusionist pressure on them, and there is an increased accomadationist pressure to the outside community. This is a problem because of the extremist and violent elements inherent in modern Islamic societies.

        It’s a real bitch of a situation for peace loving moderate muslims.

        *We’ve seen some some problems from the US Muslim community, like the 93′ WTC bombing being nurtured in a Brooklyn mosque.

      • Bunk X says:

        You’re making assumptions. Not everyone here is a Geller fan, but when Charles posts pamtrum after pamptrum, her name comes up frequently.

      • ISpeakJive says:

        Three things.
        Chuck’s comment section fills up with hate all the time.
        I like that Pam Geller is tenacious. She’s not cowed by PC. She’s not always wrong and she is one of a very few who even keep the awful treatment of women in Islam in the spotlight. Who else is even doing it? The left isn’t, that’s for sure.
        And Buchanan? Could not care less what he has to say.

        We aren’t a category here.

      • Bunk X says:

        Tenacious G.
        And no we’re not a category. We’re a shoe box filled with love toys.

      • Bunk X says:

        Love toys, beer and cake.
        And beed, but not in that order. Beed always comes last.

      • Bunk X says:

        …after love toys..

  49. Stabby says:

    Here, have some substance:
    http://www.thetower.org/article/dreaming-of-a-lebanon-completely-at-peace/

    I’ve only read half of it so far but it’s Michael Totten so I know it has to be good.

    Also, never say I’m not trying to fit in:
    penis penis penis

  50. dwells38 says:

    poteen2 :

    He’s just some prickly, self righteous ass with a blog platform that used to have a large following before he banned everyone.

    On this, you are correct and all here quite concur.

    Yes quite concur, quite concur.

  51. Bunk X says:

    Doppel milyo kubler ross stages of a dead LGF account :
    I just can’t even
    believe I can speak my mind!
    this place is awesome

    DoD is a Thrift Shop for everything Chunky.

  52. Daedalus says:

    Stabby :

    I don’t think I’m ever gonna find Blogmocracy “awesome”.

    It’s got a fucking picture of Ronald Reagan and some silly “socialism=failure” quote at the top. It’s just missing Paul Ryan doing curls and Ayn Rand looking like a sociopathic Dr Ruth.

    Blogmocracy is not what you think it is. It’s Right leaning, but there are a variety of opinions. For example I am one of the admins there and I have publicly made it clear I will not vote Republicans until they enter the 21st century. I have some differences with the direction of Conservatism which I find to be stale and stuck in the last century. Most on Blogmoc disagree with me, but it’s civil our disagreement.

    I don’t obsess over Obama because I have come to the conclusion the American people just love the man. He can burn a kid on TV and the people would cheer him. Greenwald has done Obama some damage, but that is because he’s on the Left and can go after Obama. I wish the Right would come up with a inclusive message and policies that will help Americans get good jobs and rising wages again.

    At this point, I don’t support neither the Democrats nor Republicans. Both are statists of a different variety and dividing Americans against each other. I have no use for either. That said, I am still on the Right but on my own path.

    • Bunk X says:

      I agree – I’m also not a huge GOP supporter, but until the Libertarians can do something besides getting Dems elected, a lot of elected Repubs need a kick in the cojones.

      • Bunk X says:

        P.S. Daedalus– Next time there’s BlogMock Radio Show, invite Stabby on. That might get Charles to call in and apologize.

      • Daedalus says:

        Hey vote how you want, but I am done with the GOP until they become inclusive and have policies solutions for the 21st Century..

      • Bunk X says:

        GREEN PARTY!!!

  53. Because Mike's Mad Milyo says:

    • Because Mike's Mad Milyo says:

    • doppel portion says:

      it’s “fake global warming scam deniers” Charles, not climate change deniers

      didn’t you and fake scientist bill nye get the memos from mother nature and reality like 12 yrs ago?

      to use your word

      derp

  54. Shit Bitch Please says:

    Stabby :
    Well, MY take is that you’re obsessing a bit much.
    Look at all the posts on whatever Johnson does.
    He’s not that fascinating.
    The every twist and turns of whatever his current topic interest are:
    1) aren’t unusual or horrible
    2) aren’t interesting
    3) aren’t a sign of deep mental illness or anything else
    And you know, he doesn’t have a very likeable web persona and he screwed over a lot of people who used to reside on his blogging platform, but that doesn’t make him interesting.
    He’s just some prickly, self righteous ass with a blog platform that used to have a large following before he banned everyone. Oh and of course you noticed that I have similar politics to him, but that doesn’t mean that I like him in the slightest – cause friendly he isn’t.
    To quote the Hitch Hiker’s guide “he’s just this guy, you know?”

    You’re right. He’s not that interesting. He’s a guy who fucked up two or three careers. Big woop.

    Yet, he is mentally unhealthy. He’s addicted to his own creation and lives like a shut-in (the proof is that he’s always online). I suspect he secretly enjoys being stalked because it gives him a sense of relevancy. Like a child who acts out to get attention, Icky will accept negative attention because it’s better than none.

    • Arachne says:

      He’s also a guy who smears people and groups. Let’s not forget his immediately blaming of the suicide of a federal agent by broadly hinting that it was probably the work of Glenn Beck adherents who were in a neighboring STATE at the time.

      Iron Fist is a friend of mine. Calling him a racist was a dumbass punk move. And one I won’t forget.

      • Shit Bitch Please says:

        He’s also a guy whose connections have finally caught up with him. Ponder that one, Icarus.

  55. Shit Bitch Please says:

    Bunk X :
    P.S. Daedalus– Next time there’s BlogMock Radio Show, invite Stabby on. That might get Charles to call in and apologize.

    Narcissists don’t apologize. Ever.

  56. doppel portion says:

    Stabby :
    I don’t think I’m ever gonna find Blogmocracy “awesome”.
    It’s got a fucking picture of Ronald Reagan and some silly “socialism=failure” quote at the top. It’s just missing Paul Ryan doing curls and Ayn Rand looking like a sociopathic Dr Ruth.

    whatever you do, do NOT ask Albusteve for pointers on protocol and the meaning of satire and you will be A-OK

  57. swamprat says:

    yeah stabby’s the real deal
    leftwing because pat buchannon spoke at a conference (assertions, but no quotes)
    he does quote an obscure comedian
    joking about the deaths from a communist dictator, haha

    I just can’t even

    • Arachne says:

      Maybe we can resurrect some verbal gems from Goracle’s daddy or that sage of the Senate, Robert (ex KKK) Bird as examples of the great tolerance Democrats have exhibited in the past for African Americans. Notice his short and curlies all twisted over Zimmerman supporter extreme posts – no mention of the Kill Zimmerman Facebook page.

      Yeah, typical lib troll – it’s ALLLLL about the hate on the right. Because the left is all sweetness and light.

    • Bunk X says:

      Give him some decompression time. Took Walter & Cato a while. Albusteve the same way. Cato’s own hatred for Rodan got the better of him, otherwise he was alright. Even Windup Bird had fun here until he got paranoid.

      • Arachne says:

        Well, I will admit that I have a suspicious nature – downside of the profession I’m in. And ever since I caught Fatass trying to trip me up in the Reply trap at Twitter, I’m initially skeptical of those coming over from the Swamp.

  58. Voltaire's Crack says:

    It’s all so predictable.

  59. doppel portion says:

    12 hostages
    1 burrows out the rectum
    says the poop don’t stink

  60. doppel portion says:

    doppel portion :
    12 brave hostages
    1 burrows out the rectum
    says the poop don’t stink

    fixed

  61. Because Cheetos says:

  62. Voltaire's Crack says:

    Does anybody even quote Buchanan any more? Seriously, where is he these days? Is MSNBC still giving him a stage?

    • Because Milyo says:

      Buwho?

    • Arachne says:

      Lefties do when they want to make a point. We should have known what was up when he got all pissy about a photo of Ronald Reagan.

      • doppel portion says:

        what?

        pissy over photo of Reagan?
        from a person that willingly groveled at the flabby feet of Charles mujaheed fuckface Johnson for these last several years

        my problems with the flouncers that get religion and come on over is that it’s just way too fucking late

        the time for that was at least a few years ago.

    • doppel portion says:

      if he was still at MSNBC he would be the smartest and highest rated person at MSNBC

      not saying all that much about Pat but the shite they kept after they fired him

      • Arachne says:

        Let’s see….one of their prime time pissers is a jerk who was found liable for libel and slander, who has encouraged race riots at Howard Beach and a fire resulting in death at Freddie’s Fashion Mart. Yeah, real quality there.

      • Because Milyo says:

        And just wait until Zim’s acquitted.

  63. Zeus Crankypants says:

    Stabby :
    Here, have some substance:
    http://www.thetower.org/article/dreaming-of-a-lebanon-completely-at-peace/
    I’ve only read half of it so far but it’s Michael Totten so I know it has to be good.
    Also, never say I’m not trying to fit in:
    penis penis penis

    Hmmmm…

    Wind Up Bird?
    Windsagio?

  64. Arachne says:

    doppel portion :

    his prick hasn’t been milked since sharmuta split

    Ah me…..there was a visual I did not need……..

  65. Voltaire's Crack says:

    doppel portion :
    his prick hasn’t been milked since sharmuta split

    You mean hasn’t been found.

    • Arachne says:

      Wouldn’t do him any good anyway, with Iceweasel holding his shriveled balls in a lockbox.
      BTW – did we ever find out what happened to that fiancé – un-Matted Hairy?

    • Because Milyo says:

      She took the penis penis penis lol corellator tool with her?

      • Stabby says:

        Because Milyo :
        She took the penis penis penis lol corellator tool with her?

        I’m a programmer … Now I have this impulse to write a useful piece of software and call it “penis penis penis” just to see if anyone downloads it.

      • Stabby says:

        Can you imagine having to tell your boss that you solved his problem by installing “penis penis penis” on his computer?

      • Because Milyo says:

        Is “penis penis penis” open sores?

  66. Because Milyo says:

    doppel portion :
    his prick hasn’t spit since sharmuta milked

  67. Because Milyo says:

    • Arachne says:

      And not for the last either. But for a change of pace, let’s call you DRONES – because you are.

  68. Bunk X says:

    Stabby :
    Well, MY take is that you’re obsessing a bit much.
    Look at all the posts on whatever Johnson does.

    We are watching a soap opera that entertains us. We know all the players, and we know the lead star. We cheer for the underdogs, mock the self-righteous and generally have fun, with beer and popcorn and comfy chairs.

    Every hardcore lizard that’s come through the half-way house known as Diary of Daedalus went through a couple of weeks of decompression. You’re following the pattern.

    Relax. Nobody’s going to eat you here.

    • doppel Sir Joseph Porter, KCB says:

      that’s true
      it’s like coming out of a concentration camp where you haven’t had a toilet in 2 years and being sent to the first class dining room on the QEII.
      you keep farting into your cupped hand and sniffing it at the dinner table for a while until the odd looks take over and you realize that really isn’t a great idea

  69. Shit Bitch Please says:

    Charles Johnson @Green_Footballs

    Why do plumbing problems always happen on Sunday?

    It’s because your account at the Bank of Karma is seriously overdrawn and we all know karma is a newnoun.

    • Arachne says:

      Picturing Fatass wandering the aisles at Homey Depot.
      Gets excited about plumber’s putty and fixes his ass crack.

  70. Shit Bitch Please says:

    Arachne :
    BTW – did we ever find out what happened to that fiancé – un-Matted Hairy?

    She probably has had other freelance acting gigs that paid her better.

  71. Shit Bitch Please says:

    Charles Johnson @Green_Footballs

    @Gus_802 @CuriousLurker Not for the first time.

    Shit bitch, please. Prove us all wrong and criticize Obama on something or STFU and own it.

  72. Shit Bitch Please says:

    Bunk X :

    Relax. Nobody’s going to eat you here.

    My invitation specifically said there would be punch and stabby pie.

  73. Stabby says:

    I’m tired.. though not for this reason