Charles “Burner” Johnson Settles It

Although cop-killer Christopher Dorner officially quit smoking a day after his standoff with law enforcement in Big Bear, Charles Johnson brings us some of the best forensic word parsing of the internest. It all hinges on the definition of the word “Burner.”

Charles Dorner Analysis

Okay, let’s take a breather.

An ex-cop turned serial killer was on the run with promises of killing more LAPD police and their families. Never mind that it was the City of Torrance police (not LAPD) who stupidly opened fire on innocents (in the City of Torrance, not Los Angeles) during the manhunt. That’s not important to Charles.

What IS important to Charles is that law enforcement screwed up, in his opinion,  while hunting a heavily armed and unpredictable murderer with a death wish. The cabin where Dorner was holed up burnt to the ground during the standoff, with Dorner inside, and Charles blames the officers for deliberate arson.

In typical Johnson fashion, he plays the YesBut game. “I support the police but they screwed up.” In Johnson’s mind it had nothing to do with capturing a violent criminal, but with a secret vendetta – a conspiracy to kill Dorner. Pheeew.

Charles Dorner Analysis 2

Brilliant analysis Dr. Rumpswab. Nevermind that the fugitive himself indicated a death wish in his “manifesto,” according to Charles Johnson it was a vendetta by law enforcement officers who are guilty of arson. That settles it.

[Related post here.]

UPDATE:  In case anyone thinks that Johnson’s Comment 249 was taken out of context, he clarified his allegation of deliberate arson in Comment 286.

Charles Dorner Analysis 3

188 Comments on “Charles “Burner” Johnson Settles It”

  1. cool doppel animations. ...and that sort of stuff. It's amazing says:

    There has never been a man who knew less about more things while passing himself off as an expert in all things

    dummies aren’t dangerous as long as they understand they are dumb. when they think they are brilliant, they are dangerous

  2. windbag says:

    Can we get Chuckles’ thoughts on Waco and Ruby Ridge, too?

  3. rightymouse says:

    How come there haven’t been any tweets from Charlie slamming the NRA? Or does that only happen when mentally ill white kids kill?

    • OLT's Mr. Charlie Ain't No Good says:

      Because Stalker Charles grew up poor and black in the ghettoes of LA under the Man’s thumb. He knows first hand of the cruelty and unlawful oppression of the LA po-po, and he is here to speak TROOF to POWDER (i.e., Cheetos orange dust).

      Or (and this is just a theory) he is a vacuous, toffee-nosed, malodorous pervert who in between Pamtrums and Mountain Dew blackouts is seeking vainly to ingratiate himself with the “cool” kids, like he once did before he started stealing VWs.

  4. OLT's Mr. Charlie Ain't No Good says:

    A thousand and one LULZ:

    Van Jones’ desperate plea to leave politics out of the Dorner case!

    Hypocrite, much, Van?

  5. buzzsawmonkey says:

    Too bad Dorner got roasted. They spoiled the hide.

    • garycooper says:

      As long as this left-wing lunatic’s head resembles a Lifesaver, I’m happy with the outcome. Similar to my feelings on the OBL endgame, which is undergoing media-revision and political haggling currently. I like my murderous loon’s done medium, and Dorner was medium-well bordering on very well done, but I don’t blame the cook. Those wood stoves are temperamental things.

  6. garycooper says:

    Slow news day, Fatass?

    FreedomWorks Made Video of Fake Giant Panda Having Sex With Fake Hillary Clinton 22 minutes ago

  7. livefreeor die says:

    If it was Ted Bundy in that cabin, would you have cared if they burned it down?

    • rightymouse says:

      He would have been as miserable as he was when Adam Lanza offed himself. Charlie was in mourning for the guy.

    • gizbot7 says:

      For flips sake, even if someone did say “Burn this MF-er” did it ever occur to Fatass that they were talking about the freaking cabin hoping to flush Dorner out? Considering what we know so far — what makes sense to me is, that is exactly what they were trying to do and Dorner opted for one self-inflicted shot to his head rather than burning to death or dealing with many other holes in the rest of him if he walked out armed — which considering his manifesto and previous actions he probably would have. Once again, Chunky not so great at the critical thinking thingy.

  8. floydmerit says:

    what is known about the weirdness regarding “EdDantes” coming out as a sock for “BatGuano” in thread 41609, comment 334?

    • floydmerit says:

      specifically i was wondering whether “BatGuano” was a wingnut or a moonbat, historically.

    • Bunk X says:

      What is known is that Ed pissed off Charles by being polite.

      377 Charles2/13/2013 4:25:54 pm PST
      re: #375 EdDantes

      Yes I am backing up slowly. I am trying to come clean and I do not want to take a cheap shot at the owner of this site.

      I think you just did.

  9. garycooper says:

    The AGW Celebrities are making Keystone XL their Alamo. McKibben wrote another crazy rant about it the other day, I’m shocked Chunky didn’t tweet about. Hannah promised to blow every Kennedy male alive, as a way of showing her commitment to the issue. Young Conor Kennedy, fresh off a summer of Taylor Swift, declined by Facebook dicktat. Actually, it was his penis’s Facebook account that made the call. Yes, his penis has its own Facebook account, as well as booking manager, PR, lawyer and personal trainer.

  10. floydmerit says:

    killgore still pushing the right buttons in thread 41611 with his links to dorner’s leftwing support base. charles immediately senses his exposure and cites the “but that’s totally different!” rule:

    My point is that the Workers World Party and their ilk have been completely marginalized on the left. But Alex Jones, World Net Daily,, etc. etc., are part of daily mainstream political discourse on the right.

    It’s not even close to being comparable.

    killgore responsively cites a couple of examples which refute the phony “Dems marginalize their fringe” meme (Michael Moore being seated next to Carter at the 2004 DNC, Bill Ayers).

    step three, charles changes the subject to cute puppies and leaves the thread.

    then the follow-ups from charles’ socks:


    LOL Bill Ayers, really, Trout?

    You’re shittin’ us, right?

    (ed.: the “party line”. seriously: “the party line”. add that to the list of magical words in the lgf vocabulary which have the power to dissolve facts instantly.)

    Once again swallowing the party line about someone who WAS and STILL IS part of the Establishment in Illinois (which includes Republicans).

    …kind of killgore’s point, no?

  11. haysoos says:

    it’s their perversion of the Benghazi incident…bunch of drooling children..
    so what if the house burned, at least the guy was guilty of mass murder…unlike Stevens and the others, who they just blow off….keep these assholes away from me

  12. deeb says:


  13. Because Racist says:

    So now Chuck is defending Chuck…

  14. Pakimon says:

    Live Video: President Obama in a ‘Fireside Hangout’ on Google+ 1 hour ago

    Couple of things.

    1) I could think of nothing less interesting then watching President Choomy in a fireside hangout.

    2) To make it worse, trying to watch it on a live feed on a malware infested website like LGF would just make it excruciating.

    The endless lags, stuttering and buffering would drive me friggin insane. 😆

  15. Bunk X says:

    LOL Gus believes the LAPD knew about Dorner but should have kept him on with pay and given him free stuff!

    • Bunk X says:

      Gus has been toking up again. Next he’s gonna be discussing atoms the size of solar systems.

      • Bunk X says:

        Heh. He just tweeted a link to Sagan’s “Pale Blue Dot” on YouTube.

      • poteen2 says:

        Hey Gus! Read his ‘manifesto’. He thought the same about you. He didn’t think anybody but him needed weapons.
        And BTW Doperboy, it took years to ‘just fire him’.

        People with a dearth of brain cells shouldn’t kill them off cavalierly. 🙂

    • Bunk X says:

      Gus is getting more morose with each bong hit.

    • Bunk X says:

      Like Sesame Street, Oprah & The View…

      • garycooper says:

        Gus is feeling very sensitive, today. He lost a hero yesterday, to the violent depradations of the men in blue. Feel better, dude!

      • Bunk X says:

        And EdDante/Batguano announced his departure from LGF without a flounce. The lizards didn’t know how to handle it.

  16. Abu Milyo says:

    A Postal Carrier was on his last day before retirement. A woman on his route met him at the door and asked him inside. Once inside she threw him on the floor, removed his pants and rode him to orgasm. She then got up and left the room. The stunned mailman put his pants on and heard plates and silverware in an adjacent room. The woman came back, led the mailman to a table and served him lunch. After he finished the woman extended a five dollar bill. The mailman said he couldn’t take the money after sex and lunch. The woman replied: “I told my husband it was your last day. He said ‘fuck him, give him $5.’ But lunch was my idea.”

  17. garycooper says:

    Was there any philately involved?

  18. Abu A Tale of Two Cities says:

    Stamp out Wildfires!
    — Smokey Bear and the Robinsons
    — Smokey Robinson and the Bears (da Bears!)

  19. garycooper says:

    Note to Chunky: This is a real scientist at work, changing the world. Learn from him.

    “Gravity Is A Mistake”

  20. garycooper says:

    Fee Fo Program rife with fraud? NOOOOOOOO! That’s just racist hate-speech, saying something so crazy…

  21. Pakimon says:

    Charred Remains Found in Cabin Positively ID’d as Christopher Dorner, Police Report 7 hours ago

    There is sadness and mourning at The Bog as their Leftist folk hero meets an untimely end much sooner then they hoped and expected.

    A little upbeat music should lift the hearts of Chunky and his little herd of sycophants and make them feel better.

  22. haysoos says:

    burn baby burn

  23. OLT's First Career says:

    garycooper :
    established 2005
    Number of seats: 12
    G-Force: 17
    Model no. C500-TNS
    …methinks 17G’s would leave you most unentertained.

    Izzat “eyeballs in 17g, or “eyeballs out” 17g?

    Makes a small difference.

    Here’s a little video of a real spine-compressing “ride”. Couldn’t find the F-111 or failed rocket-slide tests I’ve seen hosted in the public domain, but this is close enough for the idea.

  24. Because Racist says:

    So where’s the tweet from Chunk that claims that the Russian meteorite was caused by ‘climate change’? I’m waiting, fatso.

  25. Juan Epstein says:

    Men with wide faces ‘are more likely to make racist remarks and act aggressively’

    • rightymouse says:

      Oh, brother. These people must be very bored or something. 😆

    • rightymouse says:

      Yep. The insinuation is that men with these characteristics are mentally inferior & therefore prone to poor judgement. Bunch of Nazis if you ask me.

      • garycooper says:

        The inference I gather, is that the toad-like visage of today’s Fatass is outed once and for all as a racist. I know we already knew that, as much as he harps on all things racial, but now we have scientific evidence. Can’t hide when you’re ugly inside, Chunkster!

  26. Because Racist says:

    So tell me. What do you say to a group of Muslims who want an islamic charter school.

    Take your time, Chunk. Think the answer over carefully.

    • OLT's Seen This Before says:

      Stalker Charles’ beloved, efficient public schools are becoming de facto religious schools between the documented worship of Dear Leader, the documented Anthropogenic Global Warming pablum, and the documented training for subjects of The Nanny State (Islamic culture exercises, bans on Christian expression, bans on patriotic expression, insane sexual harassment policies, insane fear of paper “weapons”, the war on “dead white men”, etc.).

      I think parents who don’t want their kids indoctrinated into the Welfare State should have some choice about where *their* “subsidies” (i.e., tax dollars) go by getting some relief from supporting the public schools AND their private school. Or is private education the sole domain of the ruling class? Where do the Obama children attend school? Why do they go there, Stalker Charles? What? The wonderful public schools near 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue aren’t what … safe? Adequate? Good? Racially balanced? I mean, they have SS protection at Sidwell Friends, right? That doesn’t appear to be too much of an inconvenience to their current classmates. Why would nice armed SS guards be a problem for one of DC’s fine public schools?

      It seems it’s more important to you to make sure that the heavily “Progressive” teacher’s unions keep employed in the bottomless money pit that is the modern Progressive public education system so that they can subsidize the Dem Party.

      You’re not really interested in educating kids. Just in keeping the Gov’t gravy train rolling from taxpayer to school district to union to Dem Party. You are as much of a parent as the average frog, Stalker Charles. You may have spawned, but that’s the limit of your understanding of the topic.

  27. Because Racist says:

    I’m glad to see that he’s right on top of teh breaking news… 😆

  28. CJ dissing Herman Cain over at the swamp. Dunno, but it seems a bit raacist to me.

  29. rightymouse says:

    I found the perfect underwear for Charlie. 🙂

  30. rightymouse says:

    If you’re going to have a conspiracy theory, at least try to make it pass the laugh test’
    – AFP President Tim Phillips

  31. garycooper says:

    Just something for a very cold day. Florida in 2 weeks…yay.

  32. OLT's Lefties Love A Cop Killer says:

    Poll Question:

    Should Stalker Charles apply for his cut of this bounty, given that The Bog undoubtedly was on the cutting edge of unravelling the Dorner incident by providing cover to his cheerleaders? Ummm, let me think of another way to say that …

    We ask, you decide!

  33. Pakimon says:

    A great record! Me 2. RT @pulmyears: I’ve been using Brian Eno’s new ambient music album LUX as my writing & productivity music … 1 hour ago

    If Chunky calls the inane bits of snark he tweets, “writing” and counts the endless cutting and pasting he does, “productivity”, then that album must really suck.

    Maybe it has subliminal messages buried in the soundtracks.

    “Eat more Cheetos!”.

    “Release your inner moonbat!”

    “Be the laughingstock of the internet!”

    If that’s the case, then that album must be pretty good. 😆

  34. poteen2 says:

    In the Herman Cain page Buck is lighting up the MonkeyWench. Good stuff.
    Goddam but they’re dumb over there.

  35. Because Racist says:

    Germane to nothing,

    The poop pump song.

  36. Bunk X says:

    Meanwhile, Viscous Bouche has been trolling the #TDGN tag and making friends.

  37. OLT's Party Of Dumbasses says:

    Hey, Stalker Charles!

    Get the science-y Democrat Party bat phone out of your third belly roll and call up DEMOCRAT Hank Johnson for a science-y take on this issue:


    ps – the toilet paper is now kept in Roll #5. #ProTip

  38. Look’it

    We all miss Ludwigged Out Van Quick Quack.

    We must take up a collection.

    Pay for him a web site to post his ideas on so that we can join in with a few facts.

    Not to many, not real hard on him.

    Just enough for some fun out in the internets.

    You know he misses us too.

    Lud, get in touch with the group here we love your input to fun in the sun.

    I’ll put up the first $100.00 to get it started.

    Love ya,,,

  39. Sorry Ludwigge did not notice I had “miss” just in front of your name,

    no offence,, ok…

  40. Lud,

    OK, try and meet up with like minded wing nuts like me at

    I’m sure you just like Obama can turn tides and slow time.

  41. garycooper says:

    The Scold’s Bridle: ‘Punishment’ (Torture) Device for ‘Shrews’ (Uppity Women) 3 hours ago

    Furious Burka is all a-twitter (with her blogtoadie’s help) about an old wife-abusing device called “The Scold’s Bridle,” as she tries to make some kind of silly point about old Western ways, and some nonsense about:

    According to Wikipedia, the device was in use in the U.K. as late as 1856. Here’s an especially nasty looking version from Germany, circa 1550-1800. I get the distinct impression certain politicians would like to return to those old ways.

    Those certain politicians would all be working in the Muslim countries, and Muslim communities in the West. You know that, right? Except, instead of a helmet-gag, they’d be stoning the uppity women to death. They’re doing it right now, not hundreds of years ago. Isn’t that incredible?

    FB, I’m talking to you, as a fellow human who is concerned for your eroding sanity and increasing level of hysteria. You’re very frustrated about your clit being gone, and understandably so. My offer still stands, about trying to get the reconstructive surgery funded. Why won’t you do it, FB?

    • Minnow says:

      I would pay for a pay-per-view of this event…. maybe a vew pre-op interviews…. the actual surgery…. some post-op discussions…. I think this would be a fascinating episode in the hysterical world of one who SO craves attention.

      Okay. I was kidding.

      Sorry Furious Burka…. I don’t really give a shit about you or your sliced and diced clit.

      • garycooper says:

        You’re just making her more furious, Minnow. With no relief-valve. It’s dangerous, I tell you. Especially with all that Islamist rage roiling around in that swaddled-head of hers. You wouldn’t want to be responsible for her taking a “vested-interest” in a neighborhood Starbucks or city bus, would you?

      • Pakimon says:

        Pay per view?

        It would be like watching construction workers installing the ceremonial keystone at the entrance to the Holland Tunnel.

  42. Minnow says:

    I suppose Furious Burka, with her chopped up and shredded clitoris, must be Furious with all infidels. Why wouldn’t she? They are the ones responsible for her tattered clit aren’t they?

    Oh wait.


    Just kidding.

    Hey Furious Burka, wanna come over and compare scars?

    I be have me some nice uns you might get off on. oops. sorry.

  43. Minnow says:

    garycooper :
    You’re just making her more furious, Minnow. With no relief-valve. It’s dangerous, I tell you. Especially with all that Islamist rage roiling around in that swaddled-head of hers. You wouldn’t want to be responsible for her taking a “vested-interest” in a neighborhood Starbucks or city bus, would you?

    In the spirit of all things progressive and liberal and edgy and hip… I am willing to bet that Furious Burka wears the garb and oooollooooates because she is a fat, ugly asshole with hips the size of upstate New York.

    ooooohhh oooooohhhh that smell…. can’t you smell that smell?

  44. Bunk X says:

    Charles gave them a virus.

    • Pakimon says:

      “Screw with your session token”?

      Looks like she’s/it’s saying that Chinese people are a buzzkill.

      Stop smokin’ that dope ya damn burka wearing hippie racist!

      And now, a musical interlude:

    • Doppelmilyooooooo milyo says:

      this is the only virus lidane is at risk for getting since nobody will get close to her IRL

  45. Bunk X says:

    poteen2 :
    In the Herman Cain page Buck is lighting up the MonkeyWench. Good stuff.
    Goddam but they’re dumb over there.


    • Bunk X says:

      26 EPR-radar Fri, Feb 15, 2013 4:29:12pm
      re: #24 Buck
      Among other things, Cain is a climate change denialist. That is objectively false and deliberately stupid in ways that ordinary political differences over taxes and spending cannot be.

  46. Bunk X says:

    Okay, whose sock posted this?

    67 Steve Fri, Feb 15, 2013 8:54:25pm
    I did not follow this LAPD thing to close, so I was wondering if anybody knows what he used to shot the four people with. Rifle? Pistol?

  47. rightymouse says:

    A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, ‘Grandma, how come you don’t have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?’

    Grandma replied, ‘Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The religious programs make me feel good and the comedies make me laugh. I’m happy with my TV as my boyfriend.’

    Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible. She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus.. Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.

    The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door and there stood Grandma’s minister. The minister said, ‘Hello son, is your Grandma home?’

    The little boy replied, ‘Yeah, she’s in the bedroom bangin’ her boyfriend.’

  48. Doppelmilyooooooo milyo says:

    Bunk X :

    26 EPR-radar Fri, Feb 15, 2013 4:29:12pm4downupreportre: #24 BuckAmong other things, Cain is a climate change denialist. That is objectively false and deliberately stupid in ways that ordinary political differences over taxes and spending cannot be.

    there is no tyrant who can be condemned just as long as he worships at the alter of Climate change nor any man so great in deeds that he can escape condemnation for simply having common sense enough to question the man-caused global warming scam

  49. trebob says:

    Saturday morning musical interlude:

    When we last saw our heroes, they were live streaming off the couch. Here’s a little studio work, but please keep in mind this is still acapella. No instruments other than their voices/mouths.

  50. Doppelmilyooooooo milyo says:

    my neighbor lady is accusing me of stealing her underwear off her clothesline. I was so shocked and upset by her accusation, I almost shit her pants


  51. rightymouse says:

    To counter Gary’s estrogen-laden video, cynically done just to get male testosterone in an uproar, here’s a workout done by Rangers.
    Work it you stud muffins!!! 😆

    • Pakimon says:

      Pakimog post athletic slovenian alternative to bulgy man workout video!

      Jump, adjust tights and be happy!

  52. rightymouse says:

    Oh, my. Do you guys remember this from Tim Blair in 2010? Was cleaning out some files & found the link. My goodness. It shows how Barrett Brown was Charles Johnson’s butt-buddy & how they were conspiring to form a loose network of bloggers who weren’t ‘deranged’. LOLOLOL! How did that work out for you Charles? Barrett’s in jail!!!

    • garycooper says:

      Yes, Barrett’s in jail. Do you recall that puff-piece article he wrote about Chunky, that was in one of the failing magazines. I remember it being filled with inaccuracies. No wonder Chunky was in love with BB! 😆

  53. trebob says:

    rightymouse :
    Could hear the percussion. 2nd version much better.

    LOL! The “beat box” (percussion) is named Kevin. He’s the black guy in the video. I’m sure he would appreciate and thank you for your comment as he works pretty hard. 🙂

    They are all acapella as they are an acapella group. In fact they won Sony’s acapella competition last year on NBC (called the Sing Off).

    • rightymouse says:

      Are you sure? Because I had my husband come in to hear the first one & he even said there was percussion. He’s an orchestra conductor. 🙂 I don’t discount that much of the instrumental sounds were made by the singers, however. Would like to hear them live.

      • trebob says:

        Yep, I’m sure. Live performance schedule here:

      • rightymouse says:

        Thanks!!! Appreciate it!!! 🙂

      • garycooper says:

        Speaking of vocal craziness, I heard my girl rehearsing the number she’s going to do at the Senior Showcase in NYC next month, in front of a bunch of agents and theater scouts. I actually like her arrangement better than Chenoweth’s — starts out kind of Disney Princess, goes opera, and then finishes with lots of wacky flourishes. It’s pretty cool.

  54. Because Racist says:

    Speaking of, this thread is getting kind of stanky.

  55. poteen2 says:

    27 wrenchwench Fri, Feb 15, 2013 4:31:45pm


    re: #25 Buck

    That is not the standard that we use to decide if someone is guilty. You might notice that all the accusations disappeared the second he no longer ran in the primaries.

    I mean, come on…

    Yes, and that is my point. You are basically saying that “You have to be both stupid and a real asshole to abuse women” unless you are are a liberal. And the Clinton stuff really happened.

    So you know both that the Clinton stuff happened and that the Cain stuff did not.

    Now who is making judgements based on partisan feelings?

    Powerful things those partisan feelings. Cost Clinton his law license, lied outright on national TV and even spunked on the blue dress

    • rightymouse says:

      And the feminists still ADORE Slick Willy even after his cigar diddling of Monica Lewinsky became public. That can’t be partisan, right?? They can’t be hypocritical leftist bags, right?

      • Doppelmilyooooooo milyo says:

        the only problem they have with the POTUS basically raping a 19 year old girl in the oval office, is that he used a tobacco product.

        he should have used an organic locally-sourced carrot

      • poteen2 says:

        Bill Clinton,,, Rhodes Scholar, brilliant thinker, pragmatic politician, most powerful man in the world,,,,,, lacked the intelligence and self control to keep his dick out of someone else’s teenage daughter.

      • garycooper says:

        he should have used an organic locally-sourced carrot

        Yeah, those are better for that. The organic ones are kinda bumpy and “textured”…some gals like ’em like that. Guys, too. Right, Barrett?

  56. Doppelmilyooooooo milyo says:

    KRAGER isn;t it funny how you now call yourself “antichrist”

    you used to be proud to be something else? hmmmm. what was that? rhymes with laugher.

    shame on you, you weak minded sycophant

  57. poteen2 says:

    garycooper :
    he should have used an organic locally-sourced carrot
    Yeah, those are better for that. The organic ones are kinda bumpy and “textured”…some gals like ‘em like that. Guys, too. Right, Barrett?

    After 4 months in fed lockup I would imagine the addictive effects of heroin, cyber living and anarchist ideology are easing and little Barrett is seeing things more clearly.
    Likely thinking something like “Oh shit!!!”

    • garycooper says:

      Seriously…he’s probably beginning to wonder how he ended up where he is now, where it all went wrong. Gee, was it the heroin? The Montessori School he attended as a kid? The parents who were a little too lenient, praising his every BM?

      Think it through, BB. There’s still time to turn it around, as you didn’t actually kill anyone. Hell, they let murderers go after about ten years, these days.

      You’ll want to stay off the heavy drugs, though. My life experience has shown me that very little good comes from addiction to opiates, amphetamines, cocaine, and other pharmaceutical wonders. Just a descent into hellish nightmare, for the most part, ruining everything you touch along the way. There’s a better way. Oh, and cigarettes are bad for you, too 😉

      • garycooper says:

        I wonder if we should save that one, for Furious B’s post-surgery party. Is there a way to preserve a carrot, and keep it from getting soft? Freezing, perhaps?

      • garycooper says:

        On the other hand, Ms. B’s likely to be a little tender down there for awhile, so maybe a softer carrot would be a good idea.

        I’ve heard of the “Carrot And A Stick” approach to training before, but this is not that. This is “Other.” 😯

      • garycooper says:


      • Because Racist says:

        This might be more suitable.

      • Because Racist says:

        I mean, it’s all properly peeled halal-style. What’s not for a splodyhag to like?

      • garycooper says:

        Well, it might be a little pedestrian, with no bean-tickler attached. Might be for the best, until she’s fully-healed, which could take awhile as she won’t be able to leave “Satan’s Little On-Switch” alone for a minute, after having been denied all these years the normal pleasures of the flesh. Might have to put plastic dog-cones around both her paws, if she starts to loosen the delicate surgical-bonds with her relentless fiddling.

  58. Because Racist says:

    It appears that Chunk believes that a good defense is a counteroffense. At least on the neenernet. Gunz are another thang, though.

    • garycooper says:

      Chunky being the King Of Projection, he is well-versed in counter-attacks of this nature. Also, Kitchen Counter Attacks, of every kind.

  59. garycooper says:

    Minnow :
    oh, and Barrett…. don’t forget to keep puttin’ it to the Man, man…..
    (Look at me Barrett, I’m FREE!)

    Barret: “The Man keeps puttin’ it to ME, and frankly, I’m getting tired of all the attention.”

  60. rightymouse says:

    garycooper :
    he should have used an organic locally-sourced carrot
    Yeah, those are better for that. The organic ones are kinda bumpy and “textured”…some gals like ‘em like that. Guys, too. Right, Barrett?

    Oh, you naughty boy! Barrett is totally organic now, but not what you & I think! 😯

    BTW…hubby’s concert tonight includes music from “Porgy & Bess”…..if your daughter is interested in auditioning for future stuff…am sure the admins here know how to contact me. Michigan isn’t that far away. 🙂

    • Because Racist says:

      Porgy and Bess is all racist and shit.

    • garycooper says:

      I’m afraid to think too much about BB’s current predickament. Bad juju, all around. 😦

      I will keep that in mind, about your hubby’s profession. Right now, the kid is going nuts preparing for several different upcoming performances related to her college program, which is wrapping up soon…yikes, she’s graduating already. Plus, she’s spending most of her “free time” doing backing vocals for a couple of local acts, who are trying to make it in the recording biz.

      I was just informed by the wife, that the little diva has had to change her showcase tune, because the other one (“glitter”) was too long for the program’s time restriction. I thought it was a bit much, anyway. We’ll see what she settles on.

  61. gizbot7 says:

    Bunk X :
    It’s one of the best parody efforts I’ve seen since the Turbo Encabulator.

    LOL. Must be what liberals hear when they hear logic.

    • Because Racist says:

      Speaking of,

      This thread is getting old and stanky, and we never gave Ludwig a proper wake. Let’s all sit Shiva for dear departed Lewdy Doomsday, may the internet remember him always.

  62. garycooper says:

    Meanwhile, Chunky continues to tweet timely, science-y bulletins like, “Statue Of Liberty Turns Green — Scientists Mystified.” He’s just lost, without his Mad Perfesser. 😦

  63. Pakimon says:

    @AdamSerwer The DARVO defense mechanism: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. 4 hours ago

    Chunky doesn’t use DARVO.

    He prefers the heralded CHEETOS defense mechanism of his own design. It hasn’t failed him yet! 😆

    Cut ‘n paste,
    Have some Cheetos.
    Eat more Cheetos
    Eat even more Cheetos
    Tweet inane comments on Twitter
    Open another bag of Cheetos and eat
    Shit your pants from eating so many Cheetos.

  64. Pakimon says:

    Went for a stroll in the land of Chunklvania and found nothing except inane whining and useless dreck.

    No wonder we’re stuck in a mouldering thread stinking of old Cheetos and overturned bottles of urine filled Mountain Dew bottles.

    On the plus side, I didn’t have to endure any of Chunky’s advertisements, thanks to using Firefox with an adblocker installed.

    And to think some of Chunky’s minions are actually giving that fat bastard money to do away with them.

    Maybe someone should burn up a sock and let the minions know. It would stifle Chunky’s Cheetos fund and piss him off to no end. 😆

    I did find some footage of Dork_falcon enjoying his action figures:

  65. Nazis Under The Bed says:

    lol, Putin rides…

  66. Because Racist says:

    Guess who he’s tweeting about now?

    • Pakimon says:

      Here’s a question that I’m sure has been asked and answered before (and I wasn’t paying attention), but how do you post the actual tweets?

      I figure if I’m going to mock the corpulent pony tailed blogger’s tweety brown notes, I’d rather be on the cutting edge ’cause blockquoting his tweets just seems old fashioned.

  67. Pakimon says:

    Yawns 57 minutes ago

    Chunky tweets yet no one pays attention so he puts his foot down! (In a urine puddle from one of the knocked over Mountain Dew bottles)

    I dare you not to yawn 19 minutes ago

    Hey sycophants!

    When the corpulent blogger with the magical pony tail tweets, you’d better start commenting or else he gets peevish!

    Now start commenting about how you’re yawning before Chunky breaks out “The Stick”! 😆

  68. garycooper says:

    I’m yawning, alright. Come on, Fatass, do something Weiner-worthy. 😆