The Pulsating Photographic Genius of Charles Johnson – August Edition

Remember when The Greatest Mind of the Blogosphere bought a camera, took pictures, and presented them as magnificent works of Prescient Art?  The LGF 2010 Calendar is still for sale, and it ships in 2 to 5 business days.

It amazes me how Charles Johnson could sketch out a photo on a PostIt Note, and then find an exact matching scenario to photograph and post on LGF as “Overnight #Rumpswab.” Pure brilliance.

[Pulsating Photographic Genius Archive here; related posts here and, um, here.]

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88 Comments on “The Pulsating Photographic Genius of Charles Johnson – August Edition”

  1. Roger says:

    Ok, that is making me nauseous!

  2. Juan Epstein says:

    Dafuq?

  3. Dumtetum says:

    Charles’ pictures make me pulse, I’ll tell you that. His calendar…so HAWT!

    He’s the tanker on my horizon. Mmmmmm…so dreamy……

  4. garycooper says:

    My favorite is the one where Skinny Charles (2004?) morphs into Bloated Chunky of the present, and then into a manatee. Might scare women and children, though.

  5. OLT's Album Collection says:

    Neun und neunzig luftballons
    Stalker Charles ist ein scheisskopf
    Hände mit Staub bedeckt Cheeto
    Sein Junge Gus bekommt seine Nüsse aus

    etc.

    From “Opus 9”, the second album from the German grunge band Ludwig’s Sex Doll

    • Rufus T. Rumpswab says:

      Here’s Chucky Cheeto’s balloons:

      • haysoos says:

        my big ass Belgian Shepherd would have walked over, pissed on the balloons, layed down to lick his balls and looke at me saying “pleez, I need targets that move on two legs boss…don’t fuck with me like this”….yup

      • Kirlz says:

        analagous to the human reaction to bubble wrap.

      • Rufus T. Rumpswab says:

        Jack Russells are kinda hyper.

    • garycooper says:

      Nein! I will not translate that! 😆

      “Hitler Downfall Parody #435,264: Hitler Discovers His Orange-y Cheeto-Hands Have Permanently Discolored His Kleinweiner”

  6. beed says:

    I’m doing fine, thanks for asking.

    • haysoos says:

      maybe you should get together with yourself, have a drink

    • snowcrash says:

      I totally missed you. Is everything ok? I checked twitter and it had no activity. Was going to link my instagram and try to flush you out of hiding. Phew, glad I don’t have to do that. hahahah

      • beed says:

        Been traveling far and wide, picking up pointers from DeRuiter. I’m ready to start my own cult now and I’ve worked out three pillars:

        1. Thou shall be twenty
        2. Thou shall have boobs like marble
        3. Preferably single but not too fuzzy

      • snowcrash says:

        Great start up business idea.

      • beed says:

        Yeah, ideologywise it’s a pretty good framework.

        I’m trying to work in “thou shall have monies to spare” but that makes four pillars and we all know Americans can’t read past three.

      • snowcrash says:

        I keep forgetting you have spent time in the US. Three is the upper limits.

      • beed says:

        You can do four if I throw in coupons, but then the coupons would make a fifth pillar and we would be back to square one which is three.

      • garycooper says:

        We can read English just fine, but we don’t care to puzzle over those Norse runes you people call an “alphabitten,” or whatever. Too many dots! Gives us a headache.

        Note: you need 7 pillars of wisdom, for a decent religion. Or, Islam. Keep going!

      • Pakimon says:

        Too many Os with a slash through them as well..

        what’s up with that?

  7. Rufus T. Rumpswab says:

    Since it’s Wednesday, here’s an oldie but goody:

    • garycooper says:

      I like a crazy libturd-skank that comes with handlebars like that. Very utilitarian, in a proletarian kind of way.

  8. Abu bin Squid says:

    The always entertaining Beed is back, boobs like marble? ( . )( . ) that leaves one bigtime DoD poster still MIA, not that I’m complaining.

    • beed says:

      More like this:

      (*)(*)

      These are no-goes:

      {.}{.}

      (:)(.)

      (@)(@)

      ),( ),(

      [ø] [ø]

      . .

      (((,))) (((.)))

      ! !

      • rightymouse says:

        Marble?
        Hubby tells me that an ex-girlfriend before moi had fake ones and he said they felt like expensive play-doh baked in the sun for too long.

        ($$)($$)

      • beed says:

        That’s exactly what I would tell my wife too if my previous girlfriend had an expensive fender. Smart guy.

      • rightymouse says:

        She was also German & quite insane.

      • beed says:

        I’d throw that in for good measure as well.

      • rightymouse says:

        I talked to her. Woman was bat-shit crazy. But she was a Cougar at the time & rolling in dough and gave hubby (before he was hubby) a Porsche. You do the math.

      • rightymouse says:

        He prefers mine ’cause they’re real. 🙂

      • beed says:

        Can’t really comment on that due to lacking picture evidence.

        Btw, tricking women into e-mailing pictures of their headlights is more difficult than most people think. Fact.

      • garycooper says:

        Some bad boobage in that list, Beed! See some fried eggs, some asymmetricals, some damaged by decades of non-support…it’s a horrorshow! Worse than a San Francisco Naked Lesbian Dance-Off. 😯

  9. beed says:

    Other important LGFesque headlines with snarky subtitles:

    Armstrong – did he or didn’t he?
    I say fifty-fifty because the guy is half nuts

  10. haysoos says:

    fake tits are an a abomination…an insult to tit lovers across the globe

  11. beed says:

    Billy, aka The Brains of Muscle, is enriching the Twittersphere again:

  12. garycooper says:

    I wish some crazy German wench with fake-titties would buy me a Porsche. 😦

    Well, maybe I should be careful what I wish for…that one could backfire. Might not be my favorite model of Porsche, the Carrerra GTS. Could be the wrong color, such as not-black. The wench might not shave, and want me to rub lotion on her hairy legs. My real wife could find out, and cut off my weiner. All kinds of bad stuff are possible!

  13. garycooper says:

    Oh Nooeeesssss!

    ICYMI: Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists: A Call to End the Conspiracy of Silence on Climate Change lgf.bz/Qw9YqS 26 minutes ago

    Not our precious “Conspiracy Of Silence!” Anything but that! 😆

    It’s like the numbskull lives in a special bubble, where it’s still 2008 and Gore is winning Nobels and Oscars all over the place. Not 2012, where all the founders of AGW-theory have thrown in the towel on it. What happened to Chunky’s brain? Did it get stole by aliens?

    • Rufus T. Rumpswab says:

      Real ATOMIC scientists? With atoms and shit?

      • garycooper says:

        Well…they don’t have the good atoms. Just some Hydrogen and Oxygen, maybe a little Helium for Goofy Wednesdays. But they have degrees in Science, and they have this club, and they are BREAKING THE CONSPIRACY OF SILENCE!

      • garycooper says:

        I hope “silence” isn’t a misspelling of “science,” in this press release trumpeted by the Twitterwarrior. That would be embarrassing. 😳

  14. garycooper says:

    Speaking of political leaders who are desperately unpopular but still in office, I saw a clip on Syria’s Assad sending the full force of his military against his own people today. Jet fighters, attack helicopters, tanks, artillery, the infantry…and he still can’t get the opposition to give up. Say one thing for those jihadis, they don’t give up easily, once they get into the spirit of the thing. Have to kill them all, and their little brothers, their cousins, grandmas, distant relatives who just want to fight somebody…everyone must be dead, before they quit. Assad is going to lose this fight, and end up with a knife up his ass like Khadafy (and Obdicut).

    • Rufus T. Rumpswab says:

      His dad wiped out Hama, a city of 25,000. Just dozed the whole city. That slowed the MoBro down for a spell. Jr. just doesn’t fill daddy’s shoes.

    • dwells38 says:

      The region seems capable of having either batshit Muslim theocracies or somewhat secular dictatorships. That’s it. I’m happy enough when they’re at each other’s throats and not trying to kill us.

      • garycooper says:

        Seems like we could work out something with the Russkies, to remain opposed and propping up our own sides, to keep these thugocracies in self-destructive civil wars for a long, long time. 😈

        But, that would be wrong…

  15. garycooper says:

    Note To Crazy German Wench: This is all the car Daddy needs, and he will put the lotion on its skin all night long, shaved or not. (shudder)

  16. garycooper says:

    From the “Old Jews Telling Jokes” series, we have “Detroit Lions Quarterback:”

  17. garycooper says:

    http://www.helpfreetheearth.com/news617_batmanwhohow.html

    I’m sure it’s 100% true, this conspiracy-tale. It’s even truthier than the 9-11 Truther stuff, and that stuff is the previous world record holder for truthiness.

    What if it was true, though? No sane person would ever believe it.

    That’s the beauty-part. 😈

    (beed will believe it)

  18. garycooper says:

    Chunky’s grieving over the tragic loss of America-hater Gore Vidal might be attenuated somewhat by the fact that Vidal repented of his support for Obama as long ago as 2009, and thus turned out to be a complete fucking racist, by Fatass-standards.

    http://washingtonexaminer.com/flashback-gore-vidal-repented-of-supporting-obama/article/2503778?custom_click=rss

    Author Gore Vidal’s death yesterday has given occasion for Americans, especially those who share his liberal political leanings, to remember and appreciate his writing and remarks on cultural, political, and literary issues. Here’s one remark that may prove instructive to people who assume that disappointment with President Obama is motivated by racism.

    “I was delighted when Obama appeared on the scene,” Vidal told The Atlantic in October 2009. “But now it seems as though our original objection to him – that experience mattered – was well-founded.” He also said that Hillary Clinton “would have been a wonderful president.”

  19. Bunk X says:

    haysoos :
    as for me, I believe the moon landing was real

    http://bunkstrutts.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/mooncat.jpg

  20. garycooper says:

    “Mooncats: In space, noone can hear you sneeze.”

    NASA used to rule. Now, they make up shit about AGW.

  21. OLT's Konspirasee says:

    garycooper :
    http://www.helpfreetheearth.com/news617_batmanwhohow.html
    I’m sure it’s 100% true, this conspiracy-tale. It’s even truthier than the 9-11 Truther stuff, and that stuff is the previous world record holder for truthiness.
    What if it was true, though? No sane person would ever believe it.
    That’s the beauty-part.
    (beed will believe it)

    Sometimes, there’s just not enough batshit.

    -Alfred Gump

  22. Rufus T. Rumpswab says:

    • iSpeakJive says:

      I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything gayer in my life, except maybe Men’s Synchronized Swimming……..

  23. rightymouse says:

    Charlie tweets:

    “Watched the first season, and I’m officially hooked on Breaking Bad. 15 hours ago”

    And you tweet this to the world thinking anyone gives a crap? Here’s a clue. They don’t.

    • garycooper says:

      Hey, he’s only five years behind the curve of hipness. Not too shabby for a smelly recluse! But who’s going to go into the bunker and break it to him, that he’s no hipster? Those sweaty guys from the Downfall parody? Yeah, send them. They’re used to breaking bad news…

      “Mein Fuhrer…Schteiner…”
      “Schteiner ich into its final season, and we are going to bombard you with spoilers!”
      😈

  24. rightymouse says:

    Hey! Charlie! Islamists stoned two people to death who were accused of adultery. Nice people you support there, pal! Says everything anyone needs to know about you!

    http://www.cnn.com/2012/08/02/world/africa/mali-couple-stoned/index.html?hpt=hp_t3

  25. Rufus T. Rumpswab says:

    I’m not sure, but I think I’ve located Ludwig. This guy at Curry’s site going by the handle “The Very Reverend Doctor Jebediah Hypotenuse” sounds like him.

    “A fan of *more* discourse” (aka “A physicist” at PJ) isn’t him. I know who Fanny is. He’s somebody else. Just as nuts, but not asshole enough to be Lood.

    • garycooper says:

      That sure does sound like a name he’d pick, the ponce. Have you a linky, mayhap? Perhaps we can draw him out, on the topic of titillating tartlets.

      • Rufus T. Rumpswab says:

        You can’t link individual comments there, but he’s in this thread:

        http://judithcurry.com/2012/08/01/john-christys-epw-testimony/#comment-224921

      • Rufus T. Rumpswab says:

        And btw, there’s an “economist” there by the handle “Bart R”, who made one of the unintentionally funniest comments I’ve read in a while:

        CO2 is plant hormone moderater/amplifier. In that sense, CO2 above 280 ppmv is plant steroid.

        You might say you’re just “eatin’ your Wheaties” (Ben Johnson’s famous euphemism for taking anabolic steroids to become the World’s Fastest Man), but that doesn’t make steroids food. CO2 is a hormone-influencing drug.

        The effects of high CO2 above 280 ppmv that are cited as ‘benefits’ are principally increase in mass (just like testosterone produces) and size of limbs (just like testosterone produces in juveniles). Other changes due CO2 but seldom listed as ‘benefits’ are change in secondary sexual characteristics, shorter lifespan, increased brittleness, change in ability to take up some nutrients (sometimes sold as ‘decreased demand for water’), loss of dwarf trait expression (which shifts resources from desirable targets like fruit to limb growth instead), shrinkage of roots (leading to less robust health)… In other words, side effects that parallel the changes that give steroid use a bad name in athletes.

        John Christy went before a committee of Congress and pushed a performance enhancing drug during the Olympics. That’s some gumption.

        The guy’s serious. 😆

      • garycooper says:

        Oh, that is precious science-on-steroids! 😆

  26. html fairy says:

    striker!
    striker!
    STRIKER!
    well, at least slap her.