Analysis and Conclusion: Why @Lizardoid Blocked Over 10,000 LGF Accounts Last Year

This thread will serve as an addendum to our previous (and rather shocking) revelation that Johnson has at least 15,780 blocked accounts in the LGF database, and that at least 10,454 of those were blocked within the last 12 months. The unanswered question (per the title here) was…WHY? Well, the Engineers here in the BRC believe we can now provide some insight into this, but first, we should issue an update…

As it turns out, our heroic sockpuppet account “Patches” was able to deliver some additional data for us before she met her end,  finding 51 more blocked accounts from last year (a number that, on any other blog, would be considered pretty significant alone, as it represents about a ban per week. In Johnson’s case, however, this accounts for less than half a percent of the total). So, relatively minor change as it may be, I present the newest and most updated official LGF Banned List (now 15,831 strong):

MasterBlockedList-3-20-12

OK, back to the original topic…

The open question was out there, but we really didn’t expect (a 2012) Johnson to divulge any current stats or rationale pertaining to the subject of banned LGF accounts. Before we can get to “why”, though, we really wanted to know if our suspicions were correct, and we hoped to find some evidence that the bulk of the 10K blocked accounts fell to one mass extinction event (rather than a scenario where Johnson went through them all individually, which we felt was unlikely due to the sheer numbers involved). We figured that the answer could be found somewhere in the data that Patches had collected, together with the information in the archive files that Engineer No. 3 had grabbed some time ago…

Sure enough, the razor-sharp Engineer No. 5 was able to take this heap of data and employ some stat-fu to find a pattern in the chaos. He reports:

…I think I’ve pinned down approximately when the 2011 mass extinction event occurred.  I grouped all commenters into “classes” based of the month of their first comment (I’m class of Aug’07) and looked at the blocked percentage of each class (see attached chart).  It looks to me like CJ snapped around the end of June last year.  He couldn’t ban you if you weren’t there yet, so the subsequent classes have had a much higher survival rate.

OK, here’s another view of the data.
This time it’s a count of known blocked accounts that were last heard from in a given month.  It seems to me that if CJ did his blocking some time other than the end of June, the numbers would gradually trail off, and not crater in July.

In the graphs, we can see what is akin to the KT boundary, and determine that the ELE occurred in that late June, 2011 timeframe. It appears that we’ve found the mass extinction evidence we were after.

So…on to the “WHY”. What in the world could have prompted Johnson to suddenly and mercilessly execute the nuclear option on his own lizard army? Was he hacked? Had bots taken control of dormant accounts and started to leave spam all over the place? Surely there must be a logical explanation as to why so many accounts were involved, right? Or, what would cause a cool customer like CJ to “snap”?

Well…we think it might be our fault. I took a look at the DoD archives for that period, and I stumbled upon a rather interesting coincidence. To elaborate, let’s set the scene:

It’s June 26, 2011, and CJ, so proud and egotistical, is still feeling the sting of the “tweet counter” bunker-buster delivered by the BRC, along with the irritation of having to endure a full week of subsequent teases from his opponents in the twitterverse. He’d tried blowing it off, but it clearly wasn’t working. To cope, he cravenly composes a desperate private thread on LGF’s front page, in an attempt to assure the remaining sycophants that he hadn’t been completely pwned, and offer up an explanation in that much less scrutinous environment. Then, within hours, he realized that his beloved “Overlord Correlator Tool” for detecting sockpuppet accounts completely failed him, discovering that our socks had effortlessly peeked in and used the contents of the private thread to pwn him once again…

Are you picturing what I’m picturing? Yep…Snap, Crackle…

So…Ladies and Gentlemen, Stalkers and Loozards, we can say with relative certainty that (at least) 10,000 accounts wound up in the blocked column not because of rampant hate speech, trolling, calls for violence, unwise updinging, insults, racism, searching for taboo archive material, or commenting on unapproved websites. Nope. Ten thousand LGF accounts were apparently blocked because of Johnson’s inability to deal with his anger, frustration and sock-o-phobia once he saw…this:

Battle for the LGF Tweet Counter: Episode IV

(heh.)

As a postscript, I just want to humbly say that I think this should go down as a legendary moment in the history of blog warfare. After all, in response to what was little more than a post with our sleuthing, fact-checking and logic (on a subject as benign as website tweet counters), it now appears that we managed to induce a reaction so bizarre and extreme that it clearly goes into uncharted territory. I mean, Breitbart, Loesch or RSM could engage in daily tweet-slaps with Johnson for a decade and not produce such a grand portrait of epic butthurt. Even the six-figure karma queen Sharmuta was not safe from Johnson’s lizard holocaust.  

Then take into consideration that, despite the fact that the huge blockages were performed without announcement or explanation, we were nevertheless able to expose the magnitude with a completely independent exercise in logic, research, fact-checking and general web skills, producing spreadsheets, screencaps and graphs to offer up as proof (does that double the WIN?).

And now, with additional skills we present this post, and tie the two (that he did it, and why) together (does this triple it?)

Another thing worth pointing out is what this reveals from a “Sun Tzu” perspective. It has grown increasingly apparent over the course of these battles with CJ that the real weaknesses over there aren’t exposed with jabs of “jazzy ponytails”,  jokes about “Cheetos”, or even so much throwing the ghosts of wingnuts past back at him (although that provides countless hours of fun). Rather, it would appear that @lizardoid is most sensitive when it comes to subjects related to his prowess as a programmer. For example, take the rather nitpicky thread I posted last December, where I pointed out that the gape on the LGF “show all entries” page revealed the size of the memory hole. Well, it was obvious that Johnson dropped what he was doing to address it, and had it all fixed in a matter of hours. Other examples would be the technical problems we pointed out regarding the “views” counter, and how quickly CJ closed the door to the memory hole through the comment urls. He’ll let the countless examples of hypocrisy sit out there forever, but if there’s a problem with the software, well that’s personal.

Above all though, it seems that if there is a technical aspect of LGF that Johnson really takes pride in, it is his perceived ability to detect those sockpuppets. My goodness. Get one of those past the correlator tool and use it to embarrass him, and he might just freak out and post up the picture of you he has saved on his hard drive. Or, he might decide to ban 10,000 perfectly innocent accounts. Something completely rational like that.

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95 Comments on “Analysis and Conclusion: Why @Lizardoid Blocked Over 10,000 LGF Accounts Last Year”

  1. rightymouse says:

    Charles Johnson. Mr. Butthurt A-hole of the blogsphere.

  2. While the train wreck is fun to watch, It is especially more fun to watch the crazy engineer shovel more coal into the furnace in an effort to avoid the collision. Johnson, you are an ass.

  3. Emperor says:

    Haha! Another amazing thread, Chen.

    The BRC has hit it out of the park again…..

    • livefreeor die says:

      Great work!
      See, Chuck, this is how a hypothesis is tested. A hypothesis is part of the s-c-i-e-n-t-i-f-i-c m-e-t-h-o-d. I don’t want to overwhelm you so we’ll explain more about that later. Perhaps if Luddy stops by the Swamp, you can explain it to him as well.

  4. Emperor says:

    (P.S. As a correlation, if it matters, I thought I remembered that private thread that you mentioned, and – checking the DoD archives – I was remembering correctly. I used one of my socks to post some of Charles’ comments on that private thread on DoD. A day or two later, I tried logging on it, and – Yep! – banned.)

  5. Just look at the % in that first graph for the class of 2008. It’s lizard genocide with almost clinical precision.

    The picture we’re drawing here is a scenario of absolute freak out. He tossed the correlator tool into the drawer just banned everyone.

    • Emperor says:

      Woah! I didn’t look at the % scale on that graph.

      I’m reading that the average banning rate for accounts registered and first used in the two year period from about April 2007 to April 2009 is around 95%.

  6. Minnow says:

    Did someone say “Chimay Time”?

  7. Zappa Would Be Vomiting says:

    How. F’n. Awesome.

    Congrats BRC!

    BTW – Chuck just tweeted out how Breitbart.com has flat numbers.

    Kooky komedy out of Kulver City.

  8. beed says:

    Like Chen said, we’re winning this battle with cheetos jokes.

  9. livefreeor die says:

    Chuck is a giant, Cheetos driven, asteroid of doom!

  10. Minnow says:

    I’m not exaggerating when I say that Charles F. Johnson is the most hypocritical, arrogant windbag on the internet. Really, I’m not. Just ask me. Seriously. For real. ‘n shit.

  11. Kos Laughs at Chuckles says:

    ChenZhen, as The Minotaur :@lizardoid appears to be having a once-sided imaginary tweet convo with @daveweigel LOL

    yeah. Weigel can now be added to the list of lefty twitterers and bloggers who ignore fatso.

  12. Poteen says:

    Ooooh! Between ‘Patches’ offspring, TFK socks and Charlie’s socks, he’s got maybe 20 real commenters left.
    You should tell him how many socks you have and see who he blocks trying to find them. 🙂

    • Yea the major lesson in this is that these socks can be powerful. Use them for lurking, searching, commenting…heck, exploit CJ’s display name change feature, and post up a mocking LGF page. Get blocked? Well, just sign a new one up.

      He can’t return to the days of those selective, unannounced open reg threads. The glory days have passed; no one would sign up. And if we keep him thinking that half of the hatchlings are potential socks, well, he’ll wind up banning otherwise legit registrants as collateral damage. That, and we’d see the remaining lizards greeting newbies with a hilarious xenophobic inquisition.

      This really is the weak point over there. And it’s one of those interactive things that everyone here can partake in. Hit us up on the comment form and we can send you off on a black ops mission. LOL

      • P. Ness Lowell says:

        See, that’s the thing. He still hasn’t come to grips with the fact that he isn’t hot shit any more.

      • ElSuerte says:

        ChenZhen, as The Minotaur :
        That, and we’d see the remaining lizards greeting newbies with a hilarious xenophobic inquisition.

        They actually do that sometimes. Happened to me when I first registered.

        Ludwig was convinced I was the evil Bagua.

    • Bagua says:

      Teh ebil Bagua had Ludwig checking under his bed for monsters at night.

  13. P. Ness Lowell says:

    This is rich…

  14. Emperor says:

    Actually, Charles, I think this thread describes the most ridiculous screw-up from a major site.

    Oh wait! LGF is no longer a major site.

    Carry on.

  15. Minnow says:

    Is there any record of anyone ever retweeting one of Fat Chunk’s tweets besides on this site?

  16. P. Ness Lowell says:

    So it went like this?

  17. badanov says:

    Chuck is a giant, Cheetos driven, asteroid of doom FAIL!

    FIFY

  18. E. Sophi Guss says:

    From the guy who bitches about being blocked by Dana L:

  19. Bagua says:

    Wait! The whole premise is wrong, this post can’t be true.

    Charles Johnson NEVER reads the “stalker” blog, right?

    Or did a little “birdy”[sic] lizard notify him?

    Nah, can’t be. Lol.

  20. m says:

    Hey Chen, could someone check the status of Obi Wan? I didn’t see it on the banned list and I was just curious. Since he hasn’t posted since he died, I was wondering if he was hit with the wave of inactive user mass bannings.

    Obi would have wanted to be banned from there now, so I’m hoping.

    • Engineer #5 says:

      Obi wan was not blocked. The logic CJ used to determine which long idle accounts to block, and which to leave alone is difficult to discern.

  21. sod says:

    Incredible work, BRC.

  22. Bagua says:

    Here’s the proof.

    231 Charles
    Sun, Jan 2, 2011 7:25:44pm

    re: #224 Dark_Falcon

    Please don’t post their mindless crap over here. I don’t visit their site because I don’t want to read the ravings of sick minds, so let’s not help them get their rocks off by posting it here. OK?

    See? Charles Johnson doesn’t visit our site, so surely he wouldn’t do something that only a “raving sick mind” would do, like snapping and banning 10,000 user account.

  23. Bagua says:

    Gee, I wonder how the traffic stats and advert revenue is these days? Why for only 33 cents a day one could turn off the torrent of offensive ads. Assuming one visited the nasty place, and knew nothing of the free adblock addons.

  24. Arachne says:

    “I am death, destroyer of socks.”

    Big fucking deal. I have a dryer that does the same thing.

    Great job boys. I will toast you tomorrow morning by drinking my coffee from by “BRC” cup.

  25. Pig says:

    Great work, Gentlemen……..about Charlie’s sensitivity regarding his awesome “programming” skills…..I don’t remember who wrote it, but Charlie had just made one of his boring posts about how he had added some new button to the site and then followed it up with a post saying that lots of people had been asking him how he had made the button so shiny and pretty looking, whereupon he provided a detailed explanation which excelled the previous post, in terms of boraciousness by several orders of magnitude ……and this fellow replied, probably somewhere other than Charlie’s little site, and called bullshit on it, pointing out that nobody ever asks about these things but that programmers wish that they would etc….

    Anybody remember that? I think I was still sort of on Charlie’s side at the time but found myself laughing out loud despite myself……

    • garycooper says:

      I recall that one with fondness, Pig. I was still a member in okay-standing over there, I think, when that masterpiece of self-congratulations hit the front page. WOW! He can make a shiny green button! Of course, you could probably download a thousand better-looking ones for free on some kid’s website, but still…the best buttons are all homemade. Good grief.

      Another post I liked was when he took a picture of a big pile of programming books, and claimed it was “his homework for the weekend,” like he was going to turn himself into the Dark Lord Of All Programmers by reading these books. And then you see the rubbishy work he’s turned out, on his own and other blogs, and you have to laugh. How much delusion can one man contain? Is it a finite amount? What happens if you exceed the human limit? Do you then run for President?

  26. Bagua says:

    If anyone still doubts that LittleGreenFootBalls has devolved into a juvenile hate site, look at the front page.

    A picture of Republican Rick Santorum making a funny looking face with the caption “DERP”.

    Yep, a place for “serious political discourse”.

    🙂

  27. garycooper says:

    He only pays attention to this blog when he’s awake, or asleep. He only responds to DoD’s tweaking on days ending in “y.” He’s above all this silliness, you see. After all, LGF is relevant. All the pundits come running to Chunky for his take on the latest nontroversy, wingnuttery or Climate Chaos Catastrophe. Also, the ladies love the Moobmeister, ‘cuz he’s got the swagger.

    Brilliant work, Chen. Way to tie it up. Buy yourself a beer or three, and figure out a way to charge it to Chunky. 🙂

  28. Bagua says:

    Charles Johnson mock me on twitter
    Wingnuts • Wed Mar 21, 2012 at 5:18 pm PDT • Views: bs#

    In a column for the Philadelphia Inquirer, Rick Santorum proves again that he is probably the dumbest, most determinedly ignorant right winger ever to run for President, with an attack on evolution and global warming that’s absolutely breathtaking in its mindless hostility toward science:

    All those adjectives in one tiny paragraph. Very, very, very angry little man.

  29. garycooper says:

    Hey Chunky, I was wondering…how exactly does evolution kill black people?

  30. garycooper says:

    Actually, Fatass, the most determinedly ignorant drivel that’s come down the pike in the last century or so, absolutely breathtaking in its mindless hostility toward science, has been the colossal boondoggle and money-burning hoax called, sometimes, Global Warming. Usually called some form of “Climate Catastrophe Chaos” these days, though. Better update your rant generators.

    • dwells38 says:

      Wha??? This is anti-science evil 11ty billion times wingnut crazyment! Global warming is real. That’s why teh tornados are so strong and the polar bears have to evolve into whales. Er something.

      • Bunk X says:

        The polar bear problem, assuming there is one, is to ship them all to the south pole, and bring the penguins to the north. Or we could drop them all off in Culver City and let ’em fight it out.

  31. Bagua says:

    Oops
    Charles Johnson mock me on twitter
    Wingnuts • Wed Mar 21, 2012 at 9:11 am PDT • Views: (phoney)

    Correction: buried at Breitbart.com, we find an Editors’ Note by Joel Pollak that admits no mistake:

    Last night, we removed an article about Bono at the request of the videographer who had provided the links to the videos upon which the article had been based.

    These people are pathologically unable to admit any errors, even one as ridiculous as this.

    When the mini-Breits realized that they had been bamboozled, they just 404ed the page, with no retraction or statement of any kind, and marked the video “private” at YouTube to hide the evidence of their hilarious screw-up.

    Mocking a dead-man, using the word “buried” to rub it in, and hypocritically attacking them for deleting a page without a retraction?

    Now who has deleted hundreds of pages, millions of member comments and over 15,000 user accounts?

    More than 10,000 of which “with no retraction or statement of any kind”?

    Who marks entire threads “private”?

    “Pathologically unable to admit any errors?”

    Why more projection from “Hide the evidence” Charles Johnson.

    LGF is truly the most hilarious screw-up on the internet, desperately masquerading as a “serious political” blog, yet only an object of mockery and derision.

    🙂

  32. Daedalus says:

    Charles hates the NRA!

    319 Charles Johnson Wed, Mar 21, 2012 8:12:23pm

    7
    down
    up
    report

    re: #318 Dark_Falcon

    What really needs to happen – the NRA should have NO SAY in passing any laws related to guns. They are not to be trusted.

    • Bunk X says:

      05202351 29740 190 Charles Sat, Apr 26, 2008 10:19:28am
      I do have a friend named Mr. Mossberg as well, who is very good at persuasion.

      05315398 30030 40 Charles Tue, May 20, 2008 5:11:57pm
      As I mentioned before, my friend Mr. Mossberg is the gun rights advocate around here.

      05584666 30670 130 Charles Wed, Jul 16, 2008 9:20:23pm
      re: #113 doubleplusundead

      I didn’t think they allowed those in the Soviet of California!

      Oh, they do. You just have to jump through some hoops to make Mr. Mossberg’s acquaintance.

      06146010 31776 749 Charles Sat, Nov 1, 2008 6:17:09pm
      re: #730 Globular Cluster

      The course is not a home defense course, but the standard NRA pistol safety course. The purpose of a shotgun with buckshot, as opposed to any other gun, is that it is much less likely to penetrate walls and kill the guy in the house next door. Until I get more experience, the gun is not kept loaded and I live alone, in any event (no kids or wife to muck with it).
      Good idea though. I will ask about the home defense course. I realize that owning a gun is big responsibility.

      Mr. Mossberg is a friend you can count on. I’m acquainted with him too.

      07677193 34627 356 Charles Wed, Sep 9, 2009 2:17:41pm
      re: #351 experiencedtraveller

      Shotgun for home defense.

      I have a friend named Mossberg who’s quite good at such things.

      09024406 38430 5 Charles Thu, Apr 21, 2011 5:59:31pm
      Ugh. Robert Stacy McCain’s neo-Nazi pal Bill White has been released from prison.
      Great.

      09024416 38430 15 Charles Thu, Apr 21, 2011 6:06:30pm
      Bill White is the reason I own a Mossberg.

  33. Zeus Crankypants says:

    Daedalus :

    Charles hates the NRA!

    319 Charles Johnson Wed, Mar 21, 2012 8:12:23pm

    7
    down
    up
    report

    re: #318 Dark_Falcon

    What really needs to happen – the NRA should have NO SAY in passing any laws related to guns. They are not to be trusted.

    Typical socialist response. Stifling the freedom of speech since Marx.

  34. Poteen says:

    – the NRA should have NO SAY in passing any laws related to guns

    They don’t dummy. And neither does the Congress per the 2nd Amendment to the Constitution. It’s very clear.

  35. hmmmm…

    a while back:

    and just now

  36. mrpaulrevere says:

    Well done Chen and all concerned. A real masterpiece of putting all the pieces of the puzzle in place. I’d forgetten I had a karma score of 2642…

  37. mrpaulrevere says:

    This should be right up Chunk’s allie: Woman freaks out on evolution professor…on second thought… http://upressonline.com/2012/03/fau-student-threatens-to-kill-professor-and-classmates/

    • dwells38 says:

      Aw the poor thing is like a Damon Wayans character except not funny. She needs to spend some time with the nice gentlemen in the long white coats.

    • Pakimon says:

      I don’t think Chunky can use that particular story. Doesn’t fit the template.

      Warning: Salty language.

  38. Pakimon says:

    Hilarious.

    The straw that broke The Husky Blogger’s back was the penetration of the once secure Sooper-Sekret Private Thread by socks.

    I don’t think he’s posted a “private thread” since then.

    He knows that if he does, DoD socks will be all over it like a pony-tailed blogger on a bag of Cheetos to at least demonstrate his woefully inept programming “skillz”.

    As an aside, people should start making inquiries to The Chunkster on Twitter about why he doesn’t have private threads anymore, seeing that they were once commonplace over at The Bog.

    He’s sure to see it as an affront to his “computer programing manhood” and go into a frenzy of rage.

    • Bunk X says:

      He used those “sekrit threads” as sock bait, and he caught a lot of them that way. Lurkers were immediatley suspect.

      • Bunk X says:

        What’s more amusing to me is that there are many DoD socks still there, in good standing, updinging and playing the echos as obedient little lizards.

      • Pakimon says:

        I didn’t realize that.

        At least there’s the satisfaction of knowing that the once exalted and revered “private thread” has been rendered pretty much useless as far as “privacy” goes.

        I wonder how many innocent sycophants were mistakenly blocked by Chunky when he set one of his “sekret thread” traps?

  39. Voltaire's Crack says:

    This would make a killer Hitler in the bunker video.

    • garycooper says:

      I was thinking the same thing, VC. The Emperor would crush it, too.

      I think the moment I fell in love with the concept of this blog, was when I read a report on the inane contents of one of Chunky’s sooper-sekrit threads. That was so precious. I knew this thing would be a real thorn in the fat bastard’s side, but I had no idea of the level of pwnage and self-annihilation (by Chunky) that would develop. As great as the BRC is, the lulz are also highly dependent on the continued, escalating level of stupidity and paranoia at the swamp.

      Keep going, Chunky! You’re winning friends and influencing people all over the damn place. Relevant!

  40. archonix says:

    Jazzy is making his website supur speshul. I’m installing debian on my phone.

    Which is sadder? 😀

  41. Well I do not know what to do now.

  42. I have the sock reg. from Austin Tex, the ones from Calif. and the ones from New Mexico and the one from north Texas. Which ones should I get banned or should I allow them to flounce. I have never had an account that flounced,,,mmmmun?. Na.

    Should I just leave them to the grim reaper who is blog death?

    The one who is a left loon liberal they like there now, I dare not allow that one to go all rightey and tell the truth, might cause mental health problmes.

    They would miss Mr. sock so much….

    what to do, what to do

    thinking, thinking, thinking

    • Poteen says:

      We would love Mr. Sock to pull on a Nathan Hale. Hang him out to dry.. (All puns intended)
      The raging paranoia and banning frenzy will be fun to watch.

  43. buzzsawmonkey says:

    If Charles Johnson is “the destroyer of socks” then he is nothing but an ill-maintained laundromat.