No Points for Front Page Suck-ups at LGF: Episode III

A while back, we chronicled the fates of two of the most vigorous lizard blogger defenders of LGF: Defenseman and Irish Rose. Both of these netizens were given front page recognition and praise from Johnson for their efforts in fighting the “stalkers” on their own sites, and both were later banned and/or memory-holed.

Today, The Boiler Room Crew is proud to present the discovery of a third such netizen: Nihilist aka QuickRob

From the LGF archives:

The link to QuickRob’s post no longer works, and it appears that his entire blog has gone down the memory hole (we’re working on rescuing it, of course). But there you have it; another impassioned post about how righteous our beloved LGF and CJ are (note that the “stalkers” in question were apparently from the “Left”) .

In that thread, we get the hint that the blogger QuickRob went by the LGF nic “nihilist” (courtesy of the Great Strawberry Heist, as LGF comments pre-’08 election are still blocked from guests):

Indeed, “quickrob” didn’t appear in the LGF comment section until the next year, when an open registration thread (article 30455) emerged and the sock was born:

(As it turned out, the “quickrob” sock only penned a handful of comments, the last one came about a month after puppet birth.)

Anyway, fast forward another year to 2009, and an interesting exchange takes place on #34279 (post-election “birther” thread, so these comments are visible):


Nihilist’s comment [deleted], but thanks to CJ’s sloppiness (and reine’s thoroughness), we can see it preserved:


..and from our “Get off my website” collection, we see CJ in his full-on wrath mode:

And that was that. From “My hat’s off” to “bite me” a little over 2 years later. Today, both “nihilist” and the “quickrob” sock are toast, as both appear in our list of 4000+ confirmed banned nics.

The lesson for our remaining LGF lurkers would seem to be that, sure, a lathery batch of love for CJ might give you a nod on the front page, but even afterwards, a little constructive criticism in the comments will get your ass banned with extreme prejudice.  What’s not to love about that?

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143 Comments on “No Points for Front Page Suck-ups at LGF: Episode III”

  1. Banshee says:

    “A lathery batch of love for CJ”?

    ‘Scuse me, while I kiss this guy…?

    Eww.

  2. Lord Nazh says:

    When do you guys update the confirmed banned list? I mean if I’m banned I’d like to see my name on there 🙂 (can you make it so I can subscribe to new comments via email without coming up with a snappy comment to throw in there?)

  3. Banshee says:

    And now he’s frenching Al Gore on the front page. Double-eww.

    • Bunk X says:

      I think he’s tossing chum to LVQ.

      • charpete says:

        triple-eww…

      • Whatever says:

        Oh LvQ…
        Oh LvQ…
        Baby I love you…
        LvQ…

        I like the way you squawk…
        I like the way you rock…
        I like the way you shame all them sluts…
        LvQ…

        Oh LvQ…
        Oh LvQ…
        Baby I love you…
        LvQ…

        I like that billions will die…
        You make me really cry…
        You won’t let deniers deny…
        The earth will fry…
        LvQ…

        Oh LvQ…
        Oh LvQ…
        Baby I love you…
        LvQ…

        Don’t say the Temple mount…
        Shouldn’t have the gold mosque…
        Cuz if you do, that’s a flounce,
        LvQ…

        And that I won’t allow…
        You stupid Jewish cow…
        And if you still fling poo…
        I will bid you adieu…
        LvQ…
        Baby I love you…
        LvQ…

        Oh LvQ…
        Oh LvQ…
        I bid you adieu….
        LvQ…

  4. ElSuerte says:

    Do we have the banning of Defenseman on the record? I’d like to see that. Always mix him up with hooserhoops/honeryyooper

  5. charpete says:

    …now that AGW is settled science at the swamp, is it okay to believe 9/11 was an inside job there as well?

  6. snowcrash says:

    Defenseman was Mich-again. Quick check of the “Get off my website” doesn’t have him listed as banned. No idea if he wandered off or is still an active commenter.

    • Bunk X says:

      He was honorary yooper.

      • snowcrash says:

        Mich again and Yooper (Upper peninsula) easy to mix up. They both were good friends with Sharmuta and Irish Rose too. Wonder if Yooper still feels the same need to defend Charles?

  7. charpete says:

    “Obama Gets 30% of Americans Certain to Support Re-Election in Economy Poll”
    http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-06-22/obama-gets-30-of-americans-certain-to-support-re-election-in-economy-poll.html

    I picture a Hitler/CJ video with Dark Falcon delivering the bad news and CJ taking his glasses off with his shaky hand…

  8. Mandingo Warrior says:

    heh.

  9. Loose Change says:

    LGF. It’s like one of those horror flicks where this evil researcher traps a group of mentally unstable people with problematic past inside a claustrophobic setting.

  10. I invite you to bite me ChenZen literally.

  11. No

    BTW sorry if my comments went too far.

  12. rightymouse says:

    Charles uses people. They mean nothing to him except what he thinks he can gain at the time.
    When was the last time you heard him speak with sincere affection about anyone in his life?

  13. Brian Power says:

    Chuckieisajoke :
    No
    BTW sorry if my comments went too far.

    I don’t think there was anyone left to be offended.

  14. DEZ says:

    Submitted without comment.

    [removed per request]

  15. DEZ says:

    snowcrash :
    Tending their eggs is hilarious. Unexpected and goofy words from Hitler. Love it. There is one tiny spelling error. Just a warning in case someone picky mentions it. The part where Hitler says respect and you dubbed in respect was nice and then dragging Pam into it at the end is pure win! Lol. Good job Lizard Stomp.

    Where’s the spelling error?

  16. Emperor says:

    If Chuck has an account on YouTube, he has to be close to closing it down in protest.

  17. Banshee says:

    You know what would be interesting? To find out how much Chunk’s stake in PJM was worth when he sold it in 2007, and what it would fetch today. I bet stuff like that keeps him awake at night.

    But don’t worry, Chunk: Soros will be making you an offer any day now.

    • Pig says:

      I’d like to know when Chuck got his first “death threat.” Bet it was as far back as 2002.

      • Bunk X says:

        His definition of “Death Threat” doesn’t match the common definition. He said that someone wanted to see his head on a pike and that was a death threat, but I never figured that one out.

  18. Brian Power :

    Chuckieisajoke :
    No
    BTW sorry if my comments went too far.

    I don’t think there was anyone left to be offended.

    I’m sorry if i drove away people with my CJDS

    • Mandingo Warrior says:

      “Charles is not a “RIGHT-WING” BLOGGER, he is a PRO-VICTORY blogger who RAILS OUT AGAINST THE INHUMANITY AND RACISM THAT IS EVIDENT AND OVERFLOWING FROM the LEFT-WING RADICALS and ISLAMIC TERRORISTS who use the Internet and the media to push their backwards agendas on a public too busy consuming Rosie O’Donnell “entertainment” and Keith Olberman “news”.”

      Man, LGF’s come a loooong way from that place. LOL!

  19. Brian Power says:

    Brian Power :
    And ‘Mine’ Fuhrer should be the German ‘Mein’
    At 3:12, “it was to much for me to handle” should be “too much for me…”

    Forgot to add a huge BRAVO! for a hilarious video 🙂

  20. DEZ says:

    Brian Power :
    And ‘Mine’ Fuhrer should be the German ‘Mein’
    At 3:12, “it was to much for me to handle” should be “too much for me…”

    They shall be fixed, thank you.

    • Whatever says:

      I don’t think he wanted to be thanked. He was trying to be dickish. You just let all the air out of his weiner.

  21. DEZ says:

    If the admins will be so kind as to delete the old links, I will post a corrected video.

  22. DEZ says:

    Thanks admins.

  23. nils says:

    Very nice thread Chen!

    Wow did QuickRob pour the suckage into his defense of the Chunkster, all for naught.

  24. livefreeor die says:

    RED ALERT! RED ALERT!
    Charles sorta kinda questioned Obama’s actions in Afghanistan:

    35 Charles
    Wed, Jun 22, 2011 5:18:23pm replyquote 3downupreport

    Wow, short one.

    So. My question is, if we’ve decided it’s time to withdraw, shouldn’t we be doing it even faster?

    If the goal is ‘no safe haven for terrorists,’ haven’t we already achieved that? Al Qaeda will never get back to the kind of open operations they had before 9/11, and since they’ll already be operating undercover, a traditional military presence seems unnecessary.

    Unmanned Aerial Vehicles are the weapons of the future for wars like these.

    RAAAACCCCISSSSTTTT!

    • Whatever says:

      He thinks it’s a frakking video game.

    • Formercorpsman says:

      Charles, the military mastermind. He read up on Sun Tzu, so relax, he has it all figured out.

    • Bunk X says:

      The only reason that Obamama announced withdrawal was for self-promotion. Announcing to the enemy that we’re reducing our forces in the region, for whatever legitimate reason, emboldens the enemy. God bless our troops that remain, and may God help the innocent Afghans who will endure a bloodbath.

  25. Daedalus says:

    The infamous Bite Me!

  26. Lord Nazh says:

    You notice how Rob used the same words/phrases as defensemen when talking (sucking up) about LGF?

  27. Whatever says:

    Ludwig:

  28. Chuckles and his minions are sawn-off oompa loompas…………sorry if I insulted sawn off oompa loompas.

  29. Voltaires Crack says:

    Adam and Ace are having fun with the question “How white is Keith Olbermann” .

    adamsbaldwin Adam Baldwin
    Has favorited @Lizardoid’s cell # . ~ #HowWhiteIsKeithOlbermann
    5 hours ago

  30. nils says:

    Just to memorialize this – the eugenics-embracing philosophy ot LGF – the “ethical dilemma” of forced sterilization. LGF, home of the progressive eugenicists, forum provided and closely moderated by Charles Johnson:

    76 freetoken Wed, Jun 22, 2011 2:40:19pm replyquote 3

    This is not an issue that is going to be dealt with successfully (as in productively and with the big picture in mind) until we really come to grips with human population.

    And that is the biggest taboo of all.

    Perhaps rightfully so.

    This is a nasty, nasty problem of our own making and I do fear what may become of it. Forced sterilization is a dark monster of an ethical dilemma; infanticide is even more evil (and it does go on today in parts of the world.)

    • livefreeor die says:

      How about this? All the people who are going batshit crazy about AGW and think mankind is destroying the earth and we need to decrease the population-why don’t you all voluntarily sterilize yourselves and practice what you preach?

      And yes, freetoken, infanticide goes on today in parts of the world. Remote places like… Philadelphia where an abortion doctor performed “late term abortions” for years (i.e., he actually killed living infants after they were delivered during the “abortion” process).

    • ElSuerte says:

      Take a look about when sex selective abortions came up at LGF.

      There was a page IIRC, on a pro life group’s attempt to ban sex selective abortion in the US. There was lots of sage nodding about how this was raping women’s rights and what not.

      In the last couple days, a few Lizards were discussing gender ratios and sex selective abortion in the 3rd world. They seem to have come to the conclusion that this was a horrible gender genocide, and must be stopped.

      I think this would be a great article. I’d write it up for you guys, but I don’t have LGF search ability.

  31. Mandingo Warrior says:

  32. nils :
    You did.

    I apologized.

  33. ISTE says:

    The most pathetic thing I have EVER read at Little Green Footballs.

    Back from his recent timeout Albusteve says this to the sock of Alaska Kim

    121 albusteve
    Wed, Jun 22, 2011 6:32:31pm

    re: #118 okiefrommuskogie

    Yes, I am and was Alaska Kim. Charles nailed me…

    so you didn’t have the guts to appeal your case to CJ…you want to sneak over and be somebody here…why?…you trashed the very people that stuck up for you…so who do you think you are this time?…I’m on my last legs here and if you want trouble, I’m your guy

    if you want trouble, I’m your guy

    Ohhhh… Albusteve (Inuit name is “He who picks fights with girls) is quite nasty inside that warm cuddly shell isn’t he?

    Steve and Charles deserve each other. Two nuts in a pea pod.

    • Lord Nazh says:

      Steve you’re dead to me (note: that is not in any way a death threat implied or otherwise to the cheetohs-infested among you)

    • gizbot7 says:

      “I’m on my last legs here and if you want trouble, I’m your guy.”

      The implication in that statement is so very, very sad.

    • ISpeakJive says:

      If you’re on LGF, that makes you “somebody? LOL.

    • ElSuerte says:

      If you want trouble, I’m your guy? *snort* I was all set to defend albusteve, after all you have to do things to survive in the Swamp, especially if you’re the token “conservative.” But come on, that line is just ridiculously overly dramatic and cheesy.

      “It all depends, when do you want to die? Tomorrow… the day after tomorrow?”
      – albu “Kiddo” steve starring in “Kill Kim”

  34. Mandingo Warrior says:

  35. Lord Nazh says:

    Hey ISTE/boiler guys; check out the ‘twitter’ button on LGF now. Look different to you (link-wise)?

    • Banshee says:

      The numbers are much smaller; looks like he quietly fixed the “clicks=tweets” issue. But I ain’t a certified boiler room tech.

      • ISTE says:

        I run with images and scripting turned off so I don’t usually “see” any of that shit (If you know what I mean…)

    • ISTE says:

      It does the same thing it did on the 16th.

      • Lord Nazh says:

        It actually goes to twitter and you actually tweet it (from the website itself); I’m not sure what the counter does, but that’s why I asked 🙂

      • ISTE says:

        Yep, it always did that. It really is a tweet button, but the counter is the number of times something or someone clicked on the shortened URL. That lgf.bz thing it tweets. That shortened URL is not just sent to twitter either. Facebook and other applications use it.

        Re tweeting an article takes time and it looks like someone gives a shit.
        Just clicking on a shortened URL to go look at what Johnson’s latest breaking news story is easy. That was our point, he is making it appear humans are re-tweeting his stories.

        He shot himself in the foot however as that number is the number of people who actually clicked on a tweet (or a facebook post etc) and came and looked. As you can see by the very low numbers, not many visit like that.

        (Chen and Nils say it better, and Bunk even draws it better. )

      • Bunk X says:

        ISTE :
        (Chen and Nils say it better, and Bunk even draws it better. )

        Anyone can draw it. Take a felt-tip marker and trace a circle around your thumb and color it in. Next to it, make a dot. The first are btly clicks as reported on LGF, while the dot represents actual tweets.

  36. ISpeakJive :
    If you’re on LGF, that makes you “somebody? LOL.

    ISpeakJive :
    If you’re on LGF, that makes you “somebody? LOL.

    No that makes you a gutless pussy.

  37. ElSuerte :
    Dude, don’t mess with him. I heard he’s got a black belt.

    I was referring to the guy he was talking about not him.

  38. garycooper says:

    I don’t know the guy all that well, but I seem to recall Albusteve saying some pretty radical, Chunky-bucking shit before his time-out. Has he publicly recanted, or does he get a pass if he promises to keep his nose clean, and help ferret out undesirables? Is he Inner Circle again? Inquiring minds want to know. 😆

    • Bunk X says:

      Double secret probation is my guess. His time is limited, and I’d bet that he has his flounce locked and loaded, too.

  39. Pakimon says:

    If Albusteve is to reclaim his status in the inner circle of The Court of King Chunk, he must embark on a quest.

    He must find and bring forth the mystical bottomless bag of Cheetos and present it to King Chunk post haste!

    • ISTE says:

      WindUpBird was at the Oregon Burning Man regional. He probably got behind too! (or someone got his, it is difficult to tell if he pitches or catches in that chicken suit. maybe he just pecks and chooses….)

  40. jd says:

    Sounds like a lot of ex lgf’ers(rose, defensemen) got blindsided by Charles and crew. DArk Falcon will get it to. Someday he’ll get mentally tired of kissing virtual ass all day long and realize it’s holding him back in life. He’ll feel the burden lifted once he leaves LGF. That is the same rote story for most of the unseeing left there. Interesting clear logical smart smackdowns by M and BSM there at defensemen’s.. I suppose it is like shooting fish in a barrel. Now Now LGFers don’t go interpreting that as a death threat.

    One would think smart people would realize that all the post flounce character assassination Charles does follows a distinct pattern and is made up. It’s complete fiction. It’s used to put a psych on the posters. I be charles laughs about that all night long.

    • Pakimon says:

      The few who are left in The Bog are probably suffering from some weird form of agoraphobia and won’t leave willingly unless His Chunkiness boots them out.

      That’s why you see such “sucking up” even by those you thought had more spine.

  41. Pakimon says:

    The “Defending the Corpulant Pony-tailed Cheetos eating Attention Whore” abortion er, “Defending the Defensible” blog was a microcosm of LGF and it’s degeneration into a stinking gaseous bog.

    Iceweasel, Jimmah, nihilist, et al set forth to counter the evil haters and stalkers by shining the light of justice , truth, and yadda yadda yadda and vanquish them.

    Even such luminaries as Wild Irish Rose and Reginald Perrin contributed in the defense of “His Chunkiness”.

    Less then a year of sparring with the evil haters and stalkers reduced them to whimpering sacks of jelly screeching and backstabbing each other before pulling the plug.

    It must be especially galling to those fatheads that the Blogmocracy and DoD are still going strong. 😆

    • Bunk X says:

      The Blogmocracy shaped up and moved on to better topics, while we are left here sniggering like school kids telling booger-eater jokes.

    • ISpeakJive says:

      I still wanna know the skinny on Cato almost outing Zombie. Almost dropped my ham sammich when I read that.

  42. Pakimon says:

    I imagine that the few who are left over at ‘The Bog” are pretty paranoid about now.

    Between Chunkie’s psychotic threat of “the stick” and every comment they post scrutinized for potential ridicule and mockery by the DoD crew, they “don’t know whether to shit or wind their watch”.

    They usually “shit on their watches”. 😆 (Hat tip to George Carlin)

  43. nils says:

    Banshee :
    The numbers are much smaller; looks like he quietly fixed the “clicks=tweets” issue. But I ain’t a certified boiler room tech.

    Just to be clear – no, nothing has changed.

    Those “retweet numbers” are still just clicks. Think “page views”, because that’s what they are.

    And even though Johnson claims he’s not now nor ever was trying to fool anyone about what those ‘retweet numbers’ really represent, look what still shows up on his website:
     

  44. nils says:

    ISTE :
    I thought he was a decent guy but saying shit like that in order to suck up and kiss Johnson’s ass is shameful.

    I, otoh, thought – since his first return from timeout last Fall – that he’s an utterly unprincipled poseur whose only guiding tenet is his extreme valuation of his precious LGF account.

    As for the return of Alaska Kim – I used to think the idea that Johnson would personally employ sockpuppets to drive up the chatter at the swamp was a stretch. But – given the maniuplation of the front page stats, the twitter followers, the tweet counters, the comment counts, etc. – now I’m not so sure.

  45. garycooper says:

    Things I miss about LGF:

    — Lewd-Boy The Fearless Physicist
    –Weinergate Nontroversy
    –Sharmuta’s Apologies To Dear Leader
    –Nazi-Flag And Symbol Scholarship
    –Hatchlings

    😥

    Will he manage to find another funny fixation to distract us from the everyday grind and Obama’s disastrous reign? I’m still hopeful. Come on, Fatass! We’re behind you all the way. 🙂

  46. Overlord says:

    Another interesting post, Chen!