Coincidence? You Be The Judge.

[h/t ISTE]

This was crossposted with enhancements from The Blogmocracy just for fun.

Iowahawk had a great post (linked on LGF but shrewdly blocked by Charles Johnson) that included a photo of Anthony Weiner. I thought the Hawk was yanking my crank, and had posted a picture of Janis Ian. Sometimes truth is funnier than fiction. Iowahawk has since doubled down with a post by Dan Rather.

Here’s an excerpt:

Right from the beginning of this Weiner caper, I smelled a rat. And that rat was stinking like a rotten fish. And the brand name of that rat-scented blogfish cologne? Eau de Breitbart #5. Before I could act on that suspicion, I knew I had to talk to the one man who knew the filthy underside of L.A.’s blog row better than any man alive – Charlie Johnson.

Johnson was my old nemesis from too many previous mysteries – and was even responsible for me getting unfairly booted from the force. Once a hepcat stringplucking jazzbo pedal-pusher, word on the street was he had cleaned up his act and turned his back against demon blogs. I looked his name up in the L.A. phonebook, and the only listing read:

THE REV. CHARLES JOHNSON
CHURCH OF THE DIVINE PROGRESSIVE REVELATION
SANTA MONICA
KLondike 5-5555

“Do you think it’s him?” asked Weiner.

“God works in mysterious ways,” I said, looking west down Santa Monica Boulevard.

Hawk, you’re hilarious.

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39 Comments on “Coincidence? You Be The Judge.”

  1. The Osprey says:

    Isn’t that Arnold Whoreshack from Welcome Back Carter?

  2. garycooper says:

    Who’s going to write the Weiner-ized version of “At 17,” which was Janis Ian’s painful little dirge about not being popular in high school?

  3. ISTE says:

    I won’t davis the thread so early so the link is broken, but this is the most magnificent pair of buttocks ever seen.

    http: //www.youtube. com/watch?v=8NjbGr2nk2c

    Any excuse to watch is a great excuse.

  4. sacred ham says:

    Years ago, I used to think that Chuck had a pretty good sense of humor, then later I realized that it was actually the LGF commenters, and people like Iowahawk who he linked to. For a musician, Chuck is actually surprisingly uncreative and unfunny. And lately, he’s just a cranky old guy suffering from chronic butthurt.

  5. Internet Septic Tank Engineer says:

    I really had to think about this one…

    591 RadicalModerate
    Thu, Jun 2, 2011 10:13:00pm

    I had the misfortune of accidentally clicking on one of the Stalkers’ websites tonight when reading the latest on the fallout of “Twittergate”, as the media is now calling the fiasco involving Rep. Weiner’s social media accounts – in this case the one whose name is derived from the state north of Missouri.

    He posted what would have to be the most rambling wall-of-text that I have seen outside of the Unabomber manifestos… and somehow Charles is somehow involved in a grand conspiracy to sully the good name of Andrew Brietbart. It literally gave me a headache trying to read it.

    I read it a few times and wondered which “stalker site” this guy was talking about.

    Then I realised.. “the one whose name is derived from the state north of Missouri”

    Well, that would be Iowa.

    It appears RadicalModerate stumbled upon Iowahawk’s satire.

    Iowahawk is classed as a stalker site? Has he paid his subscription dues or did he get free membership to the association?

    • Bunk X says:

      Iowahawk = Unabomber? There’s no hope left for RadicalModerate. His head’s stuck up his ass forever.

      • Internet Septic Tank Engineer says:

        Iowahawk = Stalker?

        You can’t make this shit up.

        The Human Coffee Table(TM) replied to RadicalModerate

        592 Floral Giraffe
        Thu, Jun 2, 2011 10:21:48pm

        re: #591 RadicalModerate

        Meh, they’re stalkers.
        AKA loosers.
        Don’t fret about them.

        She didn’t have a clue which site was being referenced. “they’re stalkers” Iowqhawk is singular.

        Sad….

      • Internet Septic Tank Engineer says:

        Iowqhawk?

        *looking at keyboard, looking at fingernails…* Must trim them tomorrow.

      • Bunk X says:

        “Loosers.” Floral Gaffe is not the sharpest bulb in the pencil tree.

      • Internet Septic Tank Engineer says:

        Hey honey, can’t you sleep either?

        If this were Little Green Footballs we would be forbidden to link to other cool sites, but it isn’t so we can, so I will.

        About seven weeks ago (or so it seems) Ace said he was sick of Weiners, or something like that, and he wasn’t going to waste any more time on Weinergate.

        Well he has yet another article up! http://minx.cc/?post=317098

        Once these serious bloggers get their teeth into a really juicy weiner story they can’t let go.

  6. ryannon says:

    ISTE :
    I won’t davis the thread so early so the link is broken, but this is the most magnificent pair of buttocks ever seen.
    http: //www.youtube. com/watch?v=8NjbGr2nk2c
    Any excuse to watch is a great excuse.

    As is this:

    Take it as a metaphor for leaving LGF if you must find relevance. As for me, I just find that it has everything going for it…

    • ISTE says:

      Nice muscle tone, excellent choreography and tight buttocks, the girls were above average looking too.

  7. ryannon says:

    ISTE :
    Nice muscle tone, excellent choreography and tight buttocks, the girls were above average looking too.

    It’s a sweet story with a happy ending. I’m a sukka for shit like that.

  8. joest73 says:

    • ISpeakJive says:

      He’s like a bum on the street corner “The end of the world is coming” sign, with a tip jar by his side, lol. That would make a good cartoon.

  9. Lord Nazh says:

    Iowahawk’s best was when he threatened the world (blogosphere) with nuclear war 🙂

  10. Voltaires Crack says:

    Jon Stewart took some hard shots at Weiner last night. Much different than his original kid gloves treatment that went over so well at the Swamp.

    I wonder whether they will be talking about Jon Stewart as much today. Probably not. But if by some chance they do, you can bet that they will be in denial that it was rough treatment.

    • garycooper says:

      Just saw that…do you get the feeling, Stewart’s friendship with Weiner may not have been all that tight and cosy? I kind of do. They’re both a-holes, and sometimes that doesn’t lead to bosom-buddies, especially if they’re both sniffing around the same females.

      • OldLineTexan says:

        “Family Guy” once named Jon Stewart America’s Most Important Jew, and has never mentioned Weiner AFAIK.

        This alone would lead to an eventual rift between the two lifelong buddies and bosom pals.

  11. OldLineTexan says:

    Is there anyone that isn’t stalking Stalker Charles? Go on, raise your hand if you’re NOT stalking Stalker Charles. I’ll wait.

  12. Voltaires Crack says:

    Given CJ’s passionate defense of Weiner’s weiner, is it safe to say that

    Charles.

    is a.

    Girther?

    • nils says:

      Maybe all that Weiner support makes Charles Johnson a ‘jock-strappist’?

      • ISpeakJive says:

        Did you see where Obdicut didn’t even think the photo shows any erection? Something Freudian going on there.

      • nils says:

        No I didn’t see that.

        I did catch where Obdicut did agree with KKKTrout’s opinion (below) that we should just all move on for patriotusa76‘s sake, however.

        No offense to any CPAs out there, but Obdicut is to logic like accounting is to number theory.

  13. ryannon says:

    OldLineTexan :
    Is there anyone that isn’t stalking Stalker Charles? Go on, raise your hand if you’re NOT stalking Stalker Charles. I’ll wait.

    We n’ar.

  14. nils says:

    This is the risible way the simpleton Trout justifies Weiner’s refusal to have the hack of a sitting congressman investigated by law enforcement: they all feel sorry for the utterly anonymous nic ‘patriotusa76’ and don’t want to put ‘patriot’ thru any emotional turmoil (and, as a plus, the private investigation is ‘fiscally responsible’):

    67 Killgore Trout Thu, Jun 2, 2011 12:06:31pm 1

    re: #66 webevintage

    He has.
    He is paying for it, not the taxpayers.

    This wax[sic] he also maintains control over the situation. If Patriotusa is already going through a divorce, legal/business troubles, etc. another court case could send him over the edge. As much as I'd like to see Breitbart taken down I don't think it's worth ruining this dupe's life and ruining him financially until he kills himself. It's just not worth it.

    Meanwhile, Weiner has apparently lost Jon Stewart. Watch for Johnson to double-down yet again on his support for Weiner.

  15. Voltaires Crack says:

    ISpeakJive :
    Did you see where Obdicut didn’t even think the photo shows any erection? Something Freudian going on there.

    Between that and Ludwig’s ‘medium-sized’ comments, I get the impression that a couple of the lesser hung lizards are trying to overcompensate so their shortcomings are not known by others.

  16. OldLineTexan says:

    ISpeakJive :I hope this story peters out soon- gettin’ weiner fatigue.

    Free Viagra on the buffet table ->

  17. OldLineTexan says:

    OldLineTexan :

    ISpeakJive :I hope this story peters out soon- gettin’ weiner fatigue.

    Free Viagra on the buffet table ->

    Oh crud, I just remembered you’re a female … OK, skip the Viagra. Here’s a chastity belt equipped with an icepack; when you feel like you can handle more Weiner, let us know.

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