Contiguoustan?


Dumpster diving at the gated estate that serves as LGF Galactic Headquarters, the BRC has recovered what is presumably a high-level, sekrit communication between President Obama and his foremost advisor on Middle East affairs, Charles Johnson, which appears to be a draft for a proposed ‘contiguous Palestinian state’. And it shows, as Johnson has repeatedly asserted, that Israel has no stronger supporter than Obama.

Buzzsawmonkey pointed out earlier today:

The most important thing is not even “the 1967 (pre-war) lines.” It is that Obama called for the “Palestinian” state to be contiguous, which means that Israel would have to be divided. […]

 

BSM’s catch was in fact a little noted point from Obama’s speech on May 19:

[…]The Palestinian people must have the right to govern themselves, and reach their potential, in a sovereign and contiguous state.[…]

 

Rest easy supporters of Israel, the current administration, under the guidance of teh Chunky One, has your best interests at heart:


Update: The long, green, snake-like, approximately 9 mile wide line is supposed to be the contiguous state of Spaghettistan Contiguoustan itself and not its border. [As if explaining the jokes makes them funnier…]

Update2: The topic of a contiguous Palestinian state came up at the swamp back in 2009 when, on that occasion, Obama called for one:

h/t Buzzsawmonkey

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46 Comments on “Contiguoustan?”

  1. sacred ham says:

    It’s surprising that with his keen insights, razor-sharp intellect, and superior ethics, Chuck hasn’t been appointed to a Czar position in the Obama administration.

    • nils says:

      I don’t make any claims that this thread is particularly funny, clever, etc. It’s supposed to be an open thread, but since I’m still a bit stunned that this ‘contiguous’ proposal by Obama isn’t getting more play, it was a natural starting point for me. Given Chunk’s parsing of ‘1967 lines’, the gist of this take on Obama’s ‘contiguous’ isn’t that far-fetched.

    • Walter von Dichische says:

      Czar of junk food? He could report to Michelle. Oy.

    • freetaxeskill says:

      NEWS FLASH:

      cHARLES jOHNSON OF lgf’s blog named “tar ball czar” by Obhole, film at 11:00
      cHarles jOhnson and his cult crew will be in action down south of NO gathering all the tar balls any tar czar would ever care to step in.

  2. livefreeor die says:

    We’re getting close to calling the Israeli reaction to Obama’s speech racist over at the swamp:

    232 sagehen
    Fri, May 20, 2011 4:50:51pm replyquote 0downupreport

    re: #87 ozbloke

    So after the 24 hour rule the media report accurately?

    I would like to know why Benjamin Netanyahu’s reaction is so different to President Obama’s speech if nothing has changed, and I am sick of waiting for Obama’s return phone call so I can bypass the media.

    Almost nine hours in to the day of the rapture and I am still here.
    Should I be worried yet?

    I think Netanyahu is close to McCain and Lieberman, and Rahm Emmanuel may have been rude to him (in proper idiomatic gutter Hebrew). He likes the idea of making trouble for Obama.

    Plus he’s got his own domestic issues; he wasn’t elected by anything near a majority, he got the PM slot by aligning with the worst possible choice of other parties, so he’s saddled himself with a foreign minister so vile, such a rank bigot, they can’t even let him be seen on American TV. God only knows what hoops Avigdor Lieberman is making him jump through to keep that coalition in power…

    • nils says:

      Brookly Red called it – I’d never have believed it, but this is about as close as you can get to calling Netanyahu a racist – i.e. asserting he’s controlled by one.

  3. livefreeor die says:

    Okay, I screwed up the blockquotes within blockquotes but you can get the idea.

  4. livefreeor die says:

    Here’s SFZ’s take on the situation:

    SanFranciscoZionist
    Fri, May 20, 2011 4:55:15pm replyquote 2downupreport

    Also, Netanyahu has a lot of friends and supporters in the Israeli Anglosphere, and those folks, sad to say, have been bit HARD with the ODS bug. I hesitate to speculate on whether this could be affecting his idea of the situation, but I do wonder.

    • gizbot7 says:

      Fuck you. YES YOU LGF (and especially YOU Chuck). All of you can take your blind love and devotion for your new messiah, your constant mental gymnastics and ridiculous racial accusations and shove them up your cumulative asses — sideways.

      This PSA brought to you by your long lost friend, reality.

  5. Bagua says:

    I see Obama’s War On Israel is escalating.

    • nils says:

      AoSHQ had an article about an analysis of Obama’s word-choices in the speech (he links to the original article at NRO):

      Very neat article at NRO pointing out the nuances of Obama’s words for Israel — compared to his words for Palestine.

      It’s all pretty neat, but these word-choices matter: These words have been chosen carefully. Including the passive/active voice and declarative or commanding tenses. This is essentially a publicly-delivered diplomatic cable.

      There are other neat things, but the best observation, to me, is the fact that when Obama speaks of Israel, he speaks in terms of concrete demands that he, Obama, is laying upon Israel.

      When he turns to the reciprocal concessions most urge on Palestine, however, he stops speaking in the command tense, stops speaking of demanding this or that, and simply says that Palestinians will do better if they stop killing Jews.

      Not that they must stop killing Jews, mind you, like Israel must stop building settlements; just that hey, it would be better, you know? Or not, you decide.

      For contrast, the writer quotes Bush, who was pretty command-tense with Palestinians: They must crack down on terror and dismantle the terror infrastructure.

      Perceptive. Obama makes demands on Israel, but makes promises to the Palestinians. Tells you pretty much where he’s coming from.

      Like Chunk knows, words have meaning – it’s just that Chunk has a hard time figuring out what the right meaning is.

      • Banshee's Banned Ghost says:

        Interesting article. But weird conception of grammar. WTF is the “command tense”? Is that dummyspeak for the imperative mood? Pseudo-learned talk like that gives me hives.

      • nils says:

        @BBG

        Yeah, ‘command tense’ was a new one on me too. I knew what they meant, however.

      • Bunk X says:

        “Shall” and “Shall not” are examples of command tense. “Will” and “Will not” are examples of future predictions. Carry on.

      • Banshee's Banned Ghost says:

        There is no “command tense” in grammar. There is a future tense, and there is an imperative mood. And then there is made-up shit you read on the internet.

  6. freetaxeskill says:

    For Obhole to do this means that he and the thug commie Democrats have done something real nasty and bad and or about to do something nasty and bad and
    they want a news story up and running to cover the real shit they pulled.

  7. freetaxeskill says:

    Thing is Ohole is makeing Bill Orealy twist like a bucket of earth worms to cover for Oholes shit work now.

    O Bill just may blow his cover and have to show what a John Kerry , B. Obama supporter he in fact is.

    You go Ohole, make it hard for the snakes in the grass to lie out of the deal.

    • Banshee's Banned Ghost says:

      You don’t get more cogent with age, do you?

      • sacred ham says:

        tfk’s comments are great, as long as you have the decryption key. I’ll take him over a loozard with perfect grammar any day.

      • gizbot7 says:

        sacred ham :tfk’s comments are great, as long as you have the decryption key. I’ll take him over a loozard with perfect grammar any day.

        No question.

  8. freetaxeskill says:

    just for the fun of it:

    http://www.wattsupwiththat.com

  9. sacred ham says:

    File under “ewwww…”

    261 darthstar
    Fri, May 20, 2011 8:55:02pm
    0

    re: #254 ProLifeLiberal

    Black Widow gets you more laid. 😛

    It basically means that, as a woman in the game, you get an advantage over male opponents and males you talk to. And with Lesbians.

    When I first got into online chat (Yahoo chat back in 1998 – I started with darthstar then) I had a number of online friends I chatted with regularly as I traveled for work…well, after about 9 or 10 in the evening, the romeos came out and they polluted the forums with requests for private chats with anyone sounding female. So I created a second handle for late nights named “loose lucy”…man was she popular. I’d get 20 or 30 private sessions going, then report back to the forum in a second browser as darth about Lucy’s exploits with the boys. Good times.

    • ISTE says:

      Those were the days.
      Powwow and Julie, a nurse from Leeds.

    • gizbot7 says:

      This should be shocking, but coming from that freak, it’s really not. Something is seriously wrong with that dude. Ick.

    • Bunk X says:

      “Lucy Got a Poosey Like a Javalina Hog” was a song I heard in Houston in the 80s. Bet it was about Darthstar.

  10. Mark says:

    KT asserted the following:

    “That’s the whole point of the land swaps Obama mentioned in his speech. The whole thing is just manufactured drama by bad media reporting.”

    Right. Because, you know, Charles deemed this to be the case so naturally none of them can think that maybe the cult leader didn’t understand the significance of what Obama had said.

    Hey cult followers. Here’s something for you to read to try and understand what’s changed… if any of you can break away from your reliance on Chuckie’s interpretation.

    http://washingtoninstitute.org/templateC06.php?CID=1630

  11. Somehow figured that the petulant portly ponytailed pooch and his neo koslings would be twisting themselves up in knots over this.

    Possible request for the Boiler Room Crew…..I know that as far back as 2009 0bama mentioned something about a contiguous Paleostinian state in a speech. I know I pointed this out, and that such a statement was in effect calling for the dissolution of the state of Israel. I’m pretty sure it was over at the swamp and before I started up my own blog, with the old-school lizards either agreeing with me or going into greater detail on why it was such an affront to the Jewish state and the neo-Koslings admonishing me with a passive, condescending ‘tut-tut, you can’t believe everything you hear on wingnut talk radio’ despite the fact that I had heard the words ‘contiguous Palestinian state’ from Hussein Dolt’s own mouth not even an hour prior.

    Wouldn’t mind having a screencap of my prediction on display, tho’….

  12. Bunk X says:

    I’m overdue for writing something clever and pithy here.

  13. Banshee's Banned Ghost says:

    The Beeb is shocked that Israel isn’t immediately going back to the “1967 lines”: “Netanyahu defiant over Obama plan” screams the headline. What will Chunk say? Will he chastise the Jooos for not doing Barry’s bidding? Only time will tell!

  14. ryannon says:

    The ‘Chinless Wonder’ (aka Bashar al-Assad) is another reference you won’t find in today’s LGF. I guess Chuck is down with Syria these days, even if the repeated killing of pro-democracy protesters is starting to piss off Obama a bit.

    http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/2011/05/21/2011-05-21_syrian_thugs_kill_34__their_leader_rips_barack.html

  15. Macker says:

    Here are the lyrics to the Paleostinian National Anthem:
    “الجميع يمارس الجنس مع بعقب!
    بعقب! بعقب! بعقب اللعنة!!”

  16. buzzsawmonkey says:

    I’ve been offline for Shabbos, but thanks, nils, for putting this up; I hope that the word spreads about that nasty little word “contiguous.”

    The United States isn’t “contiguous.” Where does Obama get off decreeing that the second “Palestinian” state he wants to invent—the first, of course, being Jordan—must be “contiguous?”

    This is a major stealth attempt to deny the Israelis’ sovereignty.