Chuck’s Programming genius

Chuck once again touts his great programming skills!

If Chuck is such a great programmer, why is he unemployed?

Inquiring minds want to know?

114 Comments on “Chuck’s Programming genius”

  1. Crashnburn01 says:

    My guess is the Java script/AJAX makeover starts logging page views by the dozens once it is activated. How else do we get to “114,000 unique views” a day?!?

    • Mashiki says:

      Honestly my guess is that page views have dropped so much that he can migrate back to a smaller server, using different code again. Then again maybe I’m just reading too much between the lines.

  2. Iron Fist says:

    Chuck is a Sooper Genus™ As such, he doesn’t need to work in the trade he is so expert at. Like Lewd Pig, who doesn’t bother publishing even peer-“reviewed” papers…

    • Whatever says:

      Lood’s working on his new book, “The refrigerated Gaia hypothesis”. And his other book, “Sluts, sluts, oil industry sluts, Fox sluts, sluts, and sideways sluts”.

    • Whatever says:

      And his third book, “I fought the weasel and lived to tell”.

  3. PeteP says:

    I always did wonder why a supposedly great programmer like Charles doesn’t get a job in the real world. Surely he would earn much more money in a real job than administering lgf.

    Could it be that deep down, he knows he’s not good enough?

    • garycooper says:

      He’s got to be the worst programmer working today, given how terribly his “custom-bilt” site operates. It’s clunkier and buggier than an Edsel in a Louisiana swamp.

  4. garycooper says:

    People are searching, and finding at LGF:

    “big fat broke loser”
    “absurdity writ extra-large”
    “Lewd-Bitch Von A-Hole”
    “Peter Sinclair the world’s greatest climate-fraud huckster”

  5. Basement Cat says:

    I hate to give the devil his due, but one reason why Chuckles does not have a programming job is that so many of the programming jobs have been outsourced to contractors with H-1b visas (often Muslims), or offshored entirely.

    In other words, even if he were a good programmer, at his age he would be most unlikely to get a job in the US in his field.

    That having been said, Chuckles has been exacerbating the problem by promoting the leftist policies that have resulted in the dismantling of the US-based tech industry.

  6. Pig says:

    Looks to me like it’s just one more thing for Charles to be paranoid about….

  7. Loodie's assless chaps says:

    The word is “genius,” genious.

  8. Loodie's assless chaps says:

    Since Geller has been google-bombed as The Shrieking Harpy, couldn’t we do something similar for Chuck?

  9. Loodie's assless chaps says:

    Meanwhile, here is Lood’s valuable distillation of the abortion debate:

    “no, life does not begin from the moment you unhook her bra.”

    Of course not. It begins when you pass calculus. Like a kidney stone.

  10. Loodie's assless chaps says:

    “sagehen” splains why we shouldn’t be worried about the Muslim Fuckerhood:

    “Most of Egypt’s Muslims are far more moderate than the Brotherhood; most of Egypt’s Muslims are the kind who’d stand guard around Coptic Churches so Christians can have their services in peace and safety.”

    Um, sweetheart, that was for show. For the cameras. If I were a Copt with any kind of fortune at all, I’d be packing my bags for Israel right about now.

  11. blogwarriorx says:

    Off topic.

    British super flyweight title.

  12. GrandJunctionite says:

    Meanwhile, Chuck has a new target. No doubt he will focus Like a laserbeam on this bad Crazy Guy//

    Congressman Allen West LTC USA (Ret)

    “The keynote speech this year is by Pamela Geller crony and Tea Party loon Allen West.”

  13. Bagua says:

    Speaking of programming genius.

    Yesterday I logged onto DoD with my Blackberry. It loaded quickly and it was easy to read the comments. Displayed perfectly for the device.

    I tried the same with LGF. It took a long time to load, and it was laborious to read with every comment requiring scrolling. Not at all readable on a mobile device.

    • Whatever says:

      It works fine on my cheap Chinese Android thing, too.

    • sacred ham says:

      LGF bogs down like a mf once a thread goes over a few hundred comments. And that’s on a desktop machine – on an Atom-powered netbook… ugh. Of course, Chuck would sneer that it’s mainly a problem on IE, and we all know how he feels about IE users. And then he wonders why he’s not getting flooded with people wanting him to design their web sites…

      • Bagua says:

        Not just the speed, but LGF doesn’t display properly on a mobile. You have to scroll side to side on every comment.

        Apparently the clever programmer does not know how to optimise for mobile devices.

      • sacred ham says:

        It wouldn’t take much to get the actual comments reformatted to display properly on mobile devices. My guess is that he hasn’t figured out how to work in the ad content that’s currently in the sidebars, and there’s no way in hell he’s going to let non-subscribers read the comments without the ads.

    • Loodie's assless chaps says:

      Upchuck is proud of his code. He said a while back he was going to “mobilize” LGF, but he can’t bear to part with a single cobbled-together subroutine.

      • Basement Cat says:

        I put a simple plug-in on my own WordPress blog for mobile access. It’s plug-and-play and it works on even the simplest of phones. It provides some degree of admin access so that I can approve comments. It also lets each user select whether to use the mobile or the standard interface.

        Why is that so difficult?

    • lightmore says:

      that’s wordpress for you.

  14. sacred ham says:

    It’s already been mentioned, but pleeease fix the typo in the title. It sorta undermines the snark.

  15. Loodie's assless chaps says:


    “Newt Gingrich makes me nauseous.”

    Since “nauseous” actually means “causing nausea,” I wouldn’t be so quick to blame anyone else, Upchuck. Try a shower.

  16. Charles Johnson's bicycle seat says:

    m :
    “blogtators and the idiots that love him”

    “Sycophants and the people who toss them aside”

  17. Loodie's assless chaps says:

    Uh-oh. Someone’s cruisin’ for a bannin’.

    Thu, Feb 10, 2011 10:29:48am
    re: #3 Charles

    Newt Gingrich makes me nauseous.

    All right, technically he makes you nauseated. If he makes you nauseous, then it means that he causes you to inspire illness in others. This moment brought to you by Strunk & White.

    Dude, Upchuck is proud of his “writing.” You’re a bad loozard.

  18. Loodie's assless chaps says:

    Fuzzie Bore demonstrates yet again how Lood sets the tone at LGF, telling “Venezuala lover” off with this cogent argument foe civility:

    “Wow. Fuck you sideways, dude. Seriously. You are fucking scum.”

    You da man, Fuzzie!

    • Whatever says:

      It looks like Lood’s “FUS” is now an insider phrase like “quite concur”.

      Ludwig: 1
      Weasel: 0

      • snowcrash says:

        IceWeasel must have quit that blog or her computer is broken. There is no other way for Ludwig to get away with the slut thing and women hating. I wish he would go over to Feministe and share his opinions. LOL he would be a shoo in for next years Feministe’s Next Top Troll Contest.

    • sacred ham says:

      See, it’s just like Chuck says – all sorts of opinions are tolerated on LGF, as long as you’re not offensive or disruptive.

  19. Loodie's assless chaps says:

    The meltdown is getting closer.


    “The GOP are scum. They are murderous, evil scum. I hate them with every fiber of my being. So should you. They are literally trying to kill you and strip you of your rights.”

    He has also said they are Nazis. And that Nazis should be shot in the face.

    Come on, Lood, show some civil courage. Tell us how Gingrich should be shot in the face.

    Civility now!

    • snowcrash says:

      Ludwig calm down, you will get another time out and then where will we be? Quit thinking of only yourself. We have needs too, you know.

    • Whatever says:

      >> “They are literally trying to kill you and strip you of your rights.”

      In that order? Your rights aren’t of much good if you’re 6 feet under. Except your right to vote, of course.

  20. sacred ham says:

    Standard talking points regurgitated by commenter leftynyc:

    Not to mention the radical islamists they’re so afraid of.

    Noted: leftynyc is not afraid of radical Islamists. See also: flippant idiocy.

    Their views on gays are virtually identical and their views on women are too close for comfort.

    Virtually identical? Conservatives want gays to be put to death? The whole Islamo thing of toppling a wall onto them? And conservatives want women to not be able to hold a job or drive a car, not be able to appear in public without their husband or a male relative, to be put to death for adultery, etc? Was this all just announced at CPAC today?

    Of course, by definition any conservative view, and any mention of Christianity makes folks like leftynyc uncomfortable, so “too close for comfort” is just asscheek-flappery.

  21. Loodie's assless chaps says:


    “Unchecked AGW means America goes under. Period, no reprieves, humpty dumpty will not be put back together again.”

    Tell us again how to “check” it, Lood.

    Oh, right. Tax the piss out of everyone but you, and send you a check.

    • sacred ham says:

      If he had written “Obama” instead of “AGW” he might have a point.

    • Whatever says:

      So if the sea rises, the blue states are underwater. Where’s the problem?

      • sacred ham says:

        When the blue states go underwater, the occupants all flee to red states. Big problem. We already have enough of a problem down here with losers migrating south from failed hellholes like Detroit.

      • Loodie's assless chaps says:

        You really want Lood and friends as refugees in your back yard?

        He’s right: Global Warmening must be stopped. Kill the warm-mongers!

      • Whatever says:

        That’s why we have the second amendment.

  22. Bagua says:

    151 Fat Bastard Vegetarian Thu, Feb 10, 2011 11:28:59am

    re: #147 LudwigVanQuixote

    That is much hyperbole as Newt is throwing out, Ludwig.

    Actually, nope. Newt is not even a shadow of Ludwig’s lunacy.

  23. Whatever says:

    Killgore. Message for Killgore Trout. Somebody in Portland has a free canoe.

  24. Whatever says:

    Ludwig van Quixote. Message for Ludwig van Quixote. From Miss S.

  25. sacred ham says:

    ok, we now have an explicit call for violence from commenter researchok on Lizards Gotta Felch, and he’s referring to CPAC:

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Some people need to have the shit beat out of them and then have some common sense beat into them.

    So, unambiguous violent hate speech on LGF. Is Charles going to admonish him and delete the comment?

  26. Loodie's assless chaps says:

    Lood takes The Funny to the next level, feels meltdown coming on, desperately cries for intervention:

    24 LudwigVanQuixote  
    Thu, Feb 10, 2011 11:52:50am
    OK poetic justice post.

    The Koch brothers: Sentenced to watch their billions nationalized and spent to clean up the environment.

    Rand Paul: Injected with melanin, his curly hair died darkest black, he is dressed in sportswear and some gold chains, given a gold tooth and given some aqua buddha before being dropped off in the middle of one of his own supporter rallies in KY – particularly the sheet wearing ones.

    Newt Gingrich: impotence, so he frankly won’t have the option of not controlling his pecker.

    O’Keefe, Breitbart and Lila Rose. A national scandal arises that the three of them perform sex orgies in the entrails of pigeons as part of Satanic rites – with video. Who cares if the video was edited?

    Sarah Palin: Forced to listen to the comments of educated people watching her speeches and reality shows, then she is sentenced to work at a shelter for abused girls, teen mothers and runaways.

    Rupert Murdoch: His billions stripped and used to fund public education.

    • Whatever says:

      So the scientist thinks you can turn people black by injecting “melanin”. And he thinks “melanin” is one compound. 😯

    • Whatever says:

      But yeah. The climax is near.

    • a-naughty-mouse says:

      AND notice the seriously weird comment: “his curly hair died darkest black”

      Died? Really? This is a scientist?

    • Bureaucat says:

      My oh my. What a sick little F’er.

    • trebob says:

      LvQ :
      Rand Paul: Injected with melanin, his curly hair died darkest black, he is dressed in sportswear and some gold chains, given a gold tooth and given some aqua buddha before being dropped off in the middle of one of his own supporter rallies in KY – particularly the sheet wearing ones.

      Geez, ya think he stereotypes much? A gold tooth and chains denotes a black man to you LvQ? And what is an “aqua buddha”? I remember there was something about Rand Paul tying some chick up to worship an aqua buddha, but he acts like it’s some sort of sports drink or malt liquor.

      I hope the boiler room crew is getting all this down for posterity.

  27. Whatever says:

    Iceweasel. Special offer to Iceweasel. From Reggie and Ludwig:

  28. sacred ham says:

    20 minutes and 47 new comments on that thread, and so far no loozards have objected to researchok’s desire to “beat the shit out of” conservatives.

  29. Loodie's assless chaps says:

    Best update yet on the Barrett Brown/Anon/Aaron Barr wars:

    How’s that bold shoulder-thrust pose workin’ for ya now, Aaron?

  30. Juan Epstein says:

    “Injected with melanin, his curly hair died darkest black, he is dressed in sportswear and some gold chains, given a gold tooth and given some aqua buddha before being dropped off in the middle of one of his own supporter rallies in KY – particularly the sheet wearing ones.”

    Racist stereotyping.

  31. sacred ham says:

    A loozard has finally commented on researchok’s call for conservatives to “have the shit beat out of them.” The comment consists solely of this:


    and has currently been down-dinged to -3. That’s the only response out of the 100 comments following the original.

    Remember folks, it’s those reactionary gun-nut right-wingers who are the angry, violent ones. Right.

  32. Loodie's assless chaps says:

    Uh-oh. Lood is angwy.

    “Dude, I’ve been patient with your whining, but you are about to get a full blown Ludwig get your head out of your ass.

    Gee, never seen one of those before, Lood. Or did “fuck you sideways, bitch” count?

    • Loodie's assless chaps says:

      Tradewind is on thin Ice:

      “201 tradewind  
      Thu, Feb 10, 2011 1:05:18pm
      re: #197 Talking Point Detective
      (Be careful. He’s been known to go all sideways when provoked).”

      How dare she mock Lood with his own words?

    • Loodie's assless chaps says:

      Talking Point Detective calls Lood’s bluff:

      “Anyway, gotta go take the dog for an extended walk in the park. I’ll check back later to see how horrible a fate I endured as you ranted at me while I was in the woods.”

      The could get ugly. Popcorn!

  33. ryannon says:

    Rare Moment of Truth moment on LGF:

    35 Talking Point Detective
    Thu, Feb 10, 2011 12:32:12pm
    re: #26 LudwigVanQuixote

    Not quite Fozzie. I at least was talking specifically about the MB. I am deeply thrilled that you might be right about the larger turn of events. Like I said several days ago, I pray that you are correct.


    Actually, you characterized interviewees on NPR as being “left-wing academics,” and “spin-doctors” who believe in unicorns, when one of the things they were discussing was the political influence of the MB. All without even listening to what they actually said.

  34. ryannon says:

    Great live coverage from Al-Jazeera right this minute:

    • sacred ham says:

      I don’t know what’s going to happen in Egypt next, but I do know that no matter what, the Mooselim Brotherhood is absolutely nothing to be worried about.

    • sacred ham says:

      The whole LGF upding/downding system is so pathetic. Case in point: Chuck posts a sagacious one-liner:

      Wow, the crowd is freaking enormous in Tahrir Square.

      Updinged to +7. How do you (and why would you bother to) “approve” a statement like that? If Chuck posted “it’s 72 degrees and sunny this afternoon,” would people upding it? I swear, those people felch even when the well is dry, just for practice.

  35. Loodie's assless chaps says:

    Lood’s total meltdown countdown continues. #423, 431, Egypt thread.

    • GrandJunctionite says:

      Lood is telling anyone that will read his rants F U Sideways Bitch. He goes for Walter here.

      460 LudwigVanQuixote Thu, Feb 10, 2011 2:27:05pm 0

      re: #448 Walter L. Newton
      And the cut and paste of the material is the generally accepted details of the 66-70 CE siege and take over of Jerusalem by the Romans. Nothing in the narrative was suggesting anything was fun and convenient under the Vesparsian family. It was what it was.
      Walter, you didn’t even read why it is inaccurate or biased, you would rather be a concern troll. Fuck you too. You are directly insulting my people. Of course you are too stupid and ignorant to know that.
      You are just as useless as Satt.
      Why not understand the causes of the revolt before making such stupid statements?
      And while we are at it Walter Heartily, fuck you.

      • snowcrash says:

        Who is Walter Heartily?

      • trebob says:

        LvQ :
        And while we are at it Walter Heartily, fuck you.

        What, not even sideways?

      • Bagua says:

        Hahaha! The false scientist PsychoVanQuote speaks for all Jews!

        What an imbecile!

      • ISpeakJive says:

        Stupid. Ignorant. Useless. F-You. Wow.

        Why on earth does anybody over there even speak to him? He’s awful.

        If I was trapped in a diner booth with him and he spoke to me that way, he’d have a plate of meatloaf down his shirt, followed by a coke chaser.

  36. GrandJunctionite says:

    I fear Lood will not survive the night on LGF unless he takes his meds and logs off for a while. He is going “Virtual Postal” on the loozards.

  37. Voltaires Crack says:

    How long until Chuck realizes he’s got another Reggie on his hands?

  38. swamprat says:

    He has a real dilemma there. If he dumps lvq, he will have tossed another formerly beloved commenter under the bus. This will lead to people asking; “why did you wait so long?”. On the other hand, lvq is getting deeply nuts. I think the cold weather is irritating him. I don’t envy charles on this one. The best option would be if lvq appeared to go on holiday and forgot to return. But He is going to cycle right through to crazyland and he will have to get bumped, one way or another. He is almost there now. On other blogs, accusing the Republicans of attempted mass murder and wanting to steal everyones’ rights would have been cause for dismissal. There it gets 5 updings.

    The dailyKos is saner. Both DailKos and Huffpo have more meat. Charles put in “lgf pages” to find topics, but instead he references atheist forum and democratic underground. I’ve seen more moderation at “Mother Jones”. LFG is dipping below worldnetdaily and is sinking towards “rense”.

  39. Walter Heartily says:

    I don’t know what I said to send him off.

    ///this is a wise crack from swamprat, who is not really “Walter Heartily”.

    Heck, I’m barely me.